GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Best. Scam. EVAR

A warning from Lakeside Joe.

This may well be the greatest scam of the year – it even happened to me. Two pretty hot looking blonde Russian babes come over to your truck while you are getting the boat out of the water. Without saying a word, they both start cleaning your boat with sponge and soapy water, with their broobs almost falling out of their skimpy dresses. It’s impossible not to check ’em out.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say no thanks and instead ask you for a ride to the 24 hour Racetrack a couple of miles down the road so they can get smokes and a cold drink. You agree and they get in the backseat.

Then on the way, they pull their dresses down, then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet, so tell your boaty buddies to be careful. I had my wallet stolen July 4th, 9th, twice on the 15th, and then again yesterday morning. 

Oh – juss’ so ya know, Walmart sells wallets for only $7.00. Juss’ sayin’…

Pay heed, boat enthusiasts, and don’t get stung like poor Joe did. Unless, y’know, the opportunity should present itself. Further advice: Buy stock in WalMart, or any other place that sells wallets El Cheapo.

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11th-hour conversion

Welcome to the party, gal.


And now, the rest of the story.

the last 6-12 months i’ve believed i was going to abstain from voting in the upcoming election because the options are equally terrible 

but watching Trump survive an assassination attempt and act like a total fucking savage just shifted me into some strange, patriotic gear that my fancy-feminism-white-men-bad infected brain never showed me 

like, the dude took a bullet and stood up with blood dripping down his face, and rallied a fucking crowd while fist pumping, yelling “FIGHT!”

sorry, but i’m voting for that. 

and saying it out loud feels so freeing 

(2012 stepfanie would be so pissed but that’s okay because 2012 stepfanie didn’t know shit)

Makes a welcome contrast with all the 2024 “stepfanies” out there who still don’t. Keep the faith, baby, and stay strong.

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Are we not entertained?

A bit alarming at first blush, perhaps, but don’t let’s anybody rush to judgment quite yet; there just might be an extenuating circumstance here, or a method to the seeming madness at any rate.

Gamechanger: Is a Trump-RFK Jr. Alliance in the Works?
The 2024 presidential election has shown us one thing: expect the unexpected. Few anticipated Joe Biden would pursue a second term, but he did. Many doubted he’d debate Donald Trump, yet he took the stage — and was a total disaster. In another unprecedented move, Biden succumbed to pressure and blackmail and dropped out of the race mere days ago.

This is certainly not the year to be making predictions because so far, it has been the most unconventional election ever.

A new report from ABC News suggests another potential twist in the 2024 presidential election: an alliance between Donald Trump and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

According to multiple sources who spoke with ABC News, Trump and Kennedy have had several discussions over the past few days, including an in-person meeting in Milwaukee during the Republican National Convention. During these talks, the two presidential candidates reportedly discussed potential roles for Kennedy in a future Trump administration.

Two sources familiar with the discussions say that Kennedy could potentially be offered the opportunity to oversee the Health and Human Services Department in a second Trump administration.

HHS, eh? Aiight then, just keep the guy away from the EPA and I’m good with it, I do believe.

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Another one bites the dust

I must admit, I’d like it a lot better if one of ours had shot his sorry ass, pour encourager les autres. But what the hell, any dead violent Leftist is a good violent Leftist, so we takes what we gets.

Suspect, 22, who allegedly ran over Mich. Trump supporter, 80, with ATV kills himself: report
A Michigan man suspected of running down an 80-year-old with an ATV in a politically motivated attack has been found dead by apparent suicide, according to reports.

The 22-year-old suspect was found in his home with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound on Monday, after having called police looking to confess, according to WLUC.

“Send someone to pick me up,” the unidentified suspect told cops, who responded to his Quincy home and found him dead.

The suspect had accosted the elderly man as he placed pro-Donald Trump signs in his yard, initially ripping them up while speeding by on the ATV.

When the victim tried to put the signs back, the suspect ran him down with the ATV and fled.

Prior to the vicious attack, the suspect was seen smashing car windows and slashing tires.

Now, there will assuredly be those who will think it just too, too horrid of me not to mourn the “tragic” loss of this vicious, clearly disturbed Lefty goblin. Hate it for ‘em, I really do, but far as I’m concerned his death is cause for celebration, not sorrow—him, and all others like him.

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Bye bye Biden

Guess we won’t have one senile liar, career con artist, and election fraudster to kick around anymore. El Gato Malo takes a deeper look into it, and it’s hella ugly, sinister, and just downright scary stuff.

it got so ugly that something had to give. and finally, it did.

pretending that brainwiped brandon has been remotely compos mentis for the last 4 years now came with a terrible price.

even the left finally woke up to “we have no idea who is running the country.” there has not been a full cabinet meeting in nearly a year. every day kamala went without calling one on an emergency basis to invoke the 25th amendment just made this worse and her more culpable. but she was never going to do it.

sure, she might have become president and heir apparent, but she would not survive the convention if she did. they’d have axed her. she needed the nod from joe.

now she gets the endorsement and fails upward again by doing what she has always done: playing the loyal soldier.

and there was really no other choice. only she could get joe’s campaign funds.

this jar has SO many interesting bugs in it.

the fight from being shaken would (and may still be) be one for the ages.

and the DNC leadership is rightly terrified of that.

president puppetshow is bitter, angry, and while there may be some appearance of the wheel spinning, the hamster is long dead. he has felt disrespected by the party his whole career and this is just a capstone. he did not want to work with them. i suspect he’d have burned the world before eating this kind of crow. his comments on leaked calls about “name a better president in US history than me! name one!” speak to motive and delusion.

i suspect he’s not going out willingly.

i suspect there was serious arm twisting and threat here to legacy and to the ongoing protection of his family from lawfare and prosecution.

i suspect they got to his family and showed them what was in store for them if they did not take away grandpa’s keys.

it’s hard not to see this whole tawdry affair as a serious crisis for america as a constitutional republic. we’ve been flirting with it for years. our system is, to many extents, an honor system meant to be inhabited by honorable people. when it is not, this is what you get.

it makes me wonder if the deeper lessons here can be internalized (by both sides):

if the result of an election can be framed as “existential threat to democracy/the republic/america/the american way of life” then what does that tell us about the office being contested?

nothing should have that power. no person, position, or tribe. the US presidency has become horrifically imperial and the federalist nature of our system destroyed by the 17th amendment.

That last is a contention that I, along with most of you CF Lifers out there, have been making for many years now; taken along with the end-to-end corruption and manfactured rot of the government school system, the near-total success of the Left’s long-term plan is not to be wondered at.

That notwithstanding, one question remains, namely: is there any way FederalGovCo Humpty Dumpty can be properly put back together again, even if only in part, and made to function in the manner the Constitution insists any legitimate government should—nay, MUST? Unlike all the King’s horses and all the King’s men, Le Mal Félin has a few ideas on that, the implementation of which is every bit as essential as the long, bitter struggle to get it done is unpleasant to contemplate.

it is not biden or trump or kamala that america cannot survive, it is the nature of the modern presidency and executive branch that poses the clear and present danger and it is that office that we must pull down.

in that respect, braindead brandon may be just the leader we need: the perfect exemplar of how irretrievably broken and shameful our once august republic has become. so bring on the breakage. let’s drag it all out into the light until we can see the whole noxious carcass of leviathan that has so wrapped itself around the roots of our liberty.

it has become more than self evident that this government has become destructive to the ends of we the people. it cannot be fixed, it must be excised.

whole agencies: gone.

whole prerogatives: rolled back and repudiated.

at long last, we have been getting some help from the courts here.

it’s time to lean in and push it all off the table, to strive once more for a state that protects our striving rather than seeking to shackle us to its own.

rights, not regulation.

the freedom to pursue happiness, not the obligation to kowtow to some contrived notion of the collective weal.

because this too we hold to be self evident:

and we’re tired of pretending it’s not.

Indeed so—as we damned well ought to be. Plenty more left still at the link, wherein the witty cleverness of the writing manages to overcome the depressing subject matter to make for some seriously entertaining reading.

So long, Crooked Jaux. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Here’s hoping the misery and humiliation of his unlawful WH tenure lingers for however many weeks/days/hours the depraved old fraud has left to live. Assuming, of course, that the Deep State-induced bout of “CoVid” hasn’t already killed him by now.

Update! Howie Carr, as is his wont, really lets ‘er rip.

The. Worst. President. Ever.

When do you think they’ll let Dementia Joe know that he’s officially dropped out?

Who could have ever imagined that Biden would be dumped before Bob Menendez?

The Deep State has been telling us for four years about those 81 million ballots, er votes, that he got. But now his own comrades throw him under the bus like he’s…Andrew Cuomo or Sam Brinton.

For once, Obama was right: “Never underestimate Joe’s ability to bleep things up.”

It’s hard to know who’s going to need grief counselors more: the mullahs in Tehran, the greed-crazed oligarchs in Ukraine, or the Red Chinese butchers.

Quick, someone grab KJP’s belt and shoelaces. She’s going the way of Claudine Gay, for sure.

National Panhandler Radio has begun playing an endless loop of the Funeral March, like Radio Moscow when Joe Stalin stopped breathing in 1953. It’s what the apparatchiks do.

The biggest difference between Jimmy Carter and Joe Biden was that Carter was at least trying to do the right thing by the United States of America.

Everything Biden’s handlers conspired to accomplish was designed to subvert not just American society, but western civilization in general.

And they were hellishly good at it, too. As I’ve long maintained, don’t ever call Xombie Jaux “Walks Among Us” Bribem, “his” policy initiatives, or the ruling junta itself a failure. On the contrary, they have enjoyed one smashing success after another, the thing to remember being that THEIR idea of what constitutes success is the exact opposite of OURS. On every count, including but certainly not limited to:

  • Crippling inflation
  • Non-existent borders
  • Lawless, marauding ghetto ferals
  • Out of control FederalGovCo spending
  • Civil unrest, disorder, anarchy
  • Wokester-infested organizations, institutions, businesses
  • “Transgenderqueer” sicko supremacy
  • Rigged, unreliable, not even remotely trustable national “elections”
  • Affirmative Action Systemic discrimination
  • High school graduates who can’t read or write; diploma-mill college grads who can’t think for themselves; teachers who can’t teach; educators with neither interest in nor intention of actually educating anyone
  • The ongoing decline, despoliation, and/or ruinous collapse of Christianity; White birthrates; the traditional nuclear family; the US military; Western Civ entire

Biden’s behind-the-curtains puppeteers have achieved practically every one of their actual but hidden goals.

Failure? If only. Worst ***”pResident”*** ever? Absolutely—not for the Left, but for US, and for America That Was.

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BEST. POLITICAL CONVENTION. EVARRRR!!!

Whatcha gonna do indeed.



Gott-damn SKIPPY. PREACH it, Hulkster!!! Much, much more of this incredibly good, tasty stuff at Twitchy. In response to the too-predictable D卐M☭CRAT sniffing, eyerolling, and contemptuous pearl-clutching for the Hulkster’s basic Not One Of Us, Dearie gauche-i-tivity—Harry Sisson’s lame-O bitch, piss, and moaning being the pluperfect example*—NotKenny Rogers puts it best:


You and me both, brother. You and me both.

* “No serious conversation on policy,” Harry? RILLY?!? Your corpse-tastic cadaver can’t manage to groan out a complete sentence betwixt the snot-bubbles and rivulets of drool even after his handlers have hit him with BOTH paddles, you sniveling sissymary. PRO TIP: Take close, careful note of Trump’s easygoing, beaming merriment at Hulk’s star-turn (at the end of @3YearLetterman’s post) and remember something: He who laughs last laughs best. And, in the theater of the absurd that national politics in Amerika v2.0 has become, he who laughs best will almost certainly win the race.

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Tulsi vivisects Kumala

You go, girl.


OUCH, ma’am! Better stick to something you know, Kummy. Like, say, suck-starting your stalled career by gobbing useful higher-up knobs.

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Showdown at the Bundy ranch

Divemedic posts an important, timely reminder of how it’s fucking DONE, saying:

To those who say that citizens armed with AR15s can’t beat the Federal government, I remind you of the events that happened a decade ago…

Indeed. Suggestive of a little something of my own devising I’ll dub Bedford Forrest’s Law of Government©: If you keep the skeer on ‘em, they will retreat. Now for DM’s call-out:


Henceforth, Real Americans should celebrate April 12th as if it was Independence Day v2.0. Because, as historical events go, that’s exactly what it is.

Update! The classical station just played Rossini’s Overture to The Barber of Seville, which put me in mind of the perfect musical accompaniment for this post.

The ever-excellent Gioachino Rossini also, of course. One of my verymost favorite orchestral-music composers of them all, and small wonder. For me, it’s not so much the Three B’s (Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms, two of whom I’ve never really liked all that much) as it is the Four Non-Contiguous Consonants: Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, and Rossini. Might ought to’ve worked Chopin, Haydn, Tchaichovsky, Rachmaninoff, and Verdi into the mix too, but what the hell. You can’t please all the people all of the time, and should never try lest you wind up shitting and falling back in it, as my stern, tough as parboiled steer-hide, wise old Grandmaw Hubbard—better known to three generations of Hubbards and McAllisters as “Big Mama”—liked to caution her grand-young’uns.

Unrelated update! OT side-note: Just thought I’d let all interested parties know that the anti-spam plugin I installed last night, available here, seems to be working like a charm so far—not so much as a hint of a murmur of a whisper of a breath from the thrice-bedamned spamsterbot hordes as of yet, thank goodness. Hope I didn’t jinx myself by mentioning it. Sort of like what I’ve always maintained: you never, EVER say things like “What next?” or ‘How much worse can it be?” in the midst of some travail or tribulation—because God takes such expostulations as a challenge or dare, and will assuredly get busy toot sweet showing you what’s next, and just how much worse it could be.

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Said it before, gonna say it again: greatest USSC Justice EVAR

Guess who.

Justice Thomas: Of course, the AR-15 is legal under Second Amendment
Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas showed his hand on Tuesday on the issue of whether AR-15-style rifles are legal. His Second Amendment analysis: They are.

In a brief dissent related to an Illinois ban on the “assault weapon,” Thomas said that the overwhelming popularity of the firearm, coupled with its non-military operation, makes it a clear fit under the Second Amendment.

His comments come as President Joe Biden is stepping up his assault on the popular “modern sporting rifle.” Biden was behind the 1994 ban and has been seeking to ban it since that law died in 2004.

The AR-15 has become the most popular rifle in America. The National Shooting Sports Foundation said that at 28.1 million, there are more AR-15-style firearms in circulation than Ford F-150s on the road.

The 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals denied the petitioners’ request for a preliminary injunction, saying the AR-15 is not protected by the Second Amendment. The Supreme Court justices have declined to get involved for now.

“We are obviously very disappointed for the millions of legal gun owners in Illinois by today’s decision not to grant emergency relief, but we’re not giving up. And today’s decision does not impact the merits of our case for our upcoming hearing on September 16h in the Southern District of Illinois,” ISRA Executive Director Richard Pearson said.

“Our objective from the very beginning of the process that started the moment Gov. Pritzker signed the bill into law — was to take our case to the United States Supreme Court. And we followed through on that promise, and despite today’s decision — if given the chance, we’d do it all over again because it is the right thing to do,” Pearson said.

Thomas encouraged that plan. “If the Seventh Circuit ultimately allows Illinois to ban America’s most common civilian rifle, we can — and should — review that decision once the cases reach a final judgment. The Court must not permit ‘the Seventh Circuit [to] relegat[e] the Second Amendment to a second-class right,’” the Supreme Court justice wrote.

Give ‘em pure-T hell, Mr Justice Thomas, sir. Gee, wonder why the shitlibs hate the man with such bitter, wild-eyed ferocity.  Puzzling, innit?

Lest we forget, “nice guy” and “good, good man” Pedaux Jaux Bribem was one of the main players behind the fabricated smear-job accusations hurled at Thomas during his SC confirmation hearings high-tech lynching, an abominable circus that put paid once and for all to the ludicrous mischaracterization of the US Senate as “the world’s greatest deliberative body.”

Oh, and about that “good, good man” nonsense.

The talking points must have gone out within minutes of the end of President Joe Biden’s lame debate performance. Among the first to tell us just how fine a man Biden was Barack Obama, who called his former vice president “someone who has fought for ordinary folks his entire life.” It is, of course, a lie. Biden is not a good man, and the idea he’s “fought for ordinary folks” for even a single day of his “public service” is risible.

Obama’s tweet also claimed that Biden is the candidate “who knows right from wrong and will give it to the American people straight.” From there, the gaslighting grew exponentially worse.

At a July 2 fundraiser in Virginia, Democratic Rep. Don Beyer, whom Biden once called “Doug,” compared our disabled president to Jesus.

“​​He has been a good, good man. He’s resilient, optimistic, indefatigable, and above all courageous,” said Boyer.

On the day after the debate, New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman, who admitted that watching the debate made him “weep,” assured us that Biden is “a good man and a good president.”

There was even a book published in 2020 that had the title “A Good & Decent Man: Joe Biden: Rescuing America.”

After wading hip deep through the malarkey, let’s look at the Biden record.

Read on for the ugly reality, which bears not even a passing resemblance to the above hagiographic, knob-polishing codswallop.

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The one and only

At long, long last, a candidate I can get behind with all my heart, soul, mind, spirit, and body, to my last ounce of strength.

Sometimes the right person emerges. When we needed a person to see us through the War for Independence and to serve as this new nation’s first president, Washington emerged. When Britain found itself fighting for its life against Nazi Germany, Churchill emerged. When our country was tearing itself apart over the slavery question, Lincoln emerged.

And now, in our troubled times, David ‘Iowahawk’ Burge has emerged.

Man, has he ever. And how.



The above infuriatingly-truncated “Read more” passage ends thusly: “…leave office after four years.” Which is of course a baldfaced lie, or so we must hope; President-for-Life the Right Hon Mr David NMI Burge would be totally jake with me, I gots no objection, although YMMV. If so, please keep it on the down-low, I really don’t wanna know. It would pain me no end to see any of my beloved CF Lifers permanently beclown himself by publicly confessing to such disgraceful Wrongthink as that.

At any rate, the laff-train keeps a-rolling all night long from there:



Lots, lots more after that one, every last syllable likewise meeting or surpassing the impossibly-high IowahawkCorp© standards for Beverage-Spewing Hilarity, Aggravated GutBustery w/HowlinglyFunny cluster, and/or RightdafuckON, Muhfuhgr! we’ve all come to expect from that crazy-ass fool.

FULL DISCLOSURE OF UNACCEPTABLE JOURNALISMIC BIAS: I’ve been good buds with the legendary David Burge (FACT CHECK: NOT his real name, nor is “Iowahawk,” astonishingly enough) for quite a few years, although over the last several we’ve fallen out of touch, to my boundless regret and ensorrowment.

Dave, if you happen across this, my phone # has changed since we last talked, so do please kite me one of them newfangled electronic-mail thingamabobbers instead (mike-at-cf-dot-etc) when you get a spare minute, wouldja? I realize you’re a busy, busy beaver and all, but I’d truly admire to hear from ya, old friend, it’s been way too long. Hope this missive finds you still fightin’ fit, happy as some clams, and generally doing well—seeing’s how “doing good” sorta cuts against your usual warp and woof and so would feel pretty dang weird, probably for both of us.

Best wishes for fair winds and following seas on your write-in White House run; we could certainly do worse for a Prez-mo-dent, MUCH worse, and likely will. Gaia knows we have, more than just once, twice, or thrice at that.

And to think, the Beltway (Butt)Bandits consider Trump an outsider.

T’would serve those never-to-be-sufficiently-damned Swamp-rats right, sayeth moi.

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Golden opportunity, seized

I’m running this one for one reason and one reason only, which will be disclosed after the excerpt.

Cannabis appears to improve orgasmic function in women, according to new research
Recent research published in the journal Sexual Medicine suggests that cannabis use before sex may help women who experience difficulties achieving orgasm. Among women who reported difficulties achieving orgasm, a significant majority reported improvements in orgasm frequency, ease, and satisfaction when using cannabis before partnered sex.

Female orgasmic dysfunction is a sexual disorder characterized by a persistent or recurrent difficulty in achieving orgasm, despite adequate sexual stimulation and arousal. This condition can cause significant distress and affect a woman’s quality of life and relationships. Despite its prevalence, affecting up to 41% of women worldwide, effective treatments are limited.

Anecdotal evidence and previous studies have hinted at cannabis’s potential to enhance sexual experiences for women, but a systematic investigation was necessary to validate these claims. In this new study, researchers aimed to provide more substantial evidence that cannabis could be an effective treatment for women with orgasmic difficulties.

Okay, battlespace-prep complete. Now for the meat of the matter, in the form of a classic old-school biker joke I always got a giggle out of.

Q: How can you tell when a woman is having an orgasm?

A: Who the hell cares?!?

…….

Okay, okay, sorry. I just couldn’t help myself.

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Crank call

Musta been another of them Rooskie hacks, I’m thinking.

Trump Spox Sneaks Onto Collapsing Biden Campaign’s Conference Call
Steven Cheung, a principal Trump campaign spokesman, snuck onto a Biden campaign conference call on Monday. He then took to X to call it “the saddest thing I’ve ever listened to.”

“They have given up,” Cheung wrote.

The Trump spox claimed that he was able to sign up for the conference call using his real name and media credentials, and the free-falling campaign let him in.

Read the rest, it’s just about the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long, long while, the all-time world-champeen of political pranks.

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Masters-level class in the flaying of obnoxious “journalists”

Today’s Quote of the Week of the Month of the Century comes to us courtesy of Tucker’s savage takedown of an Aussie shitlib “journalist.”

“Come on,” Carlson replied. “How do they get people this stupid in the media? I guess it doesn’t pay well…I don’t mean to call you stupid — maybe you’re just pretending to be.”

Heh. Well done, Mr C. But wait, there’s more. Namely, at 4:07 of this vid, where the stupid, ass-scalded bint hamhandedly badgers Tucker about gun control, kinda-sorta-indirectly defaming Carlson via an ill-advised insinuation that he bears some responsibility for mass shootings. Tucker’s devastating counterbattery cannonade is off-the-charts priceless.


Miss Thang’s dogged self-beclownment calls several quaint old aphorisms to mind: the dog futilely chasing his own tail until he finally drops from sheer exhaustion; the stubborn fool who either will not or can not admit that he/she is licked, wisely opting to simply walk away from a losing battle while he/she is still able to walk rather than having to be hauled off on a stretcher; the sage admonishment to never pick a fight with a much bigger, stronger, and/or more skilled and/or experienced opponent, etc etc.

It only gets worse for smug Down-Under “journalists” from there—deservedly so, I might add—when one of the bint’s imbecilic-droolcase colleagues makes the damnfool mistake of shoving his oar in, only to have Carlson hand him his own empty head for his trouble. This unforced error, mind, after witnessing the total evisceration of his female co-propagandist mere moments before, while it was presumably fresh in his mind (if any).

I hope y’all won’t think it gratuitously cruel of me to speculate on whether these clowns truly are too dumb, too vain, too securely cloistered amongst their own obliviously self-regarding set to grok just how YUUUGE a can of whup-ass a far better, more intellectually lissome, more articulate man than they could ever aspire to be had just opened on their hapless-loser selves.

Several more vidyas at the link, each and every one of which you are one hunnert pa-ssent guaranteed to enjoy enormously, or your money cheerfully refunded at the box office. Tucker was definitely firing on all eight that evening, deftly making mincemeat of a whole passel of credentialed professional dunderheads without ever breaking a sweat. I repeat: WELL done, sir, very well done indeed.

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The Empire Experts strike back

Another long-open tab I’m finally getting around to clearing, this one a particularly noteworthy specimen.

Teach Your Children Well
What the push to federally “regulate” homeschooling really is.

If you follow my writing and podcasting, you know that I am a big proponent of homeschooling. My wife and I homeschool our five kids (at least, the ones who are old enough), and before I recently left California for Texas I was teaching history and literature to teenagers from other families in our homeschooling community.

Read on, and it fast becomes abundantly clear that Cali’s loss is Texas’s gain. Apart from those aforementioned “other families,” California would stridently insist it’s the other way ‘round, safe to say. But…well, y’know, California.

We homeschool for all the obvious reasons: public schools and even many, if not most, private schools are now hopelessly broken, “dark, satanic mills” of woke indoctrination; polls show that homeschooled kids are not only better educated but better socialized than public school kids; we value the freedom, family unity and self-sufficiency; it enables us to keep the kids’ passion for learning alive instead of having it ground out of them by the drudgery and routine of standard education; we can focus not only on intellectual pursuits but also impart life skills that public schools no longer teach; we’re free to include religious and moral instruction; and it enables me and my wife to control the pace at which they are (inevitably) exposed to corrosive cultural influences.

So at every opportunity I urge parents and grandparents to homeschool if at all possible, in order to rescue their children from the grim alternatives. But I’m also aware that homeschooling is a very demanding commitment that only a minority of parents are in a position to undertake, and I fault no parent for being unable to make that commitment.

The surge of interest in homeschooling since the pandemic is a blessedly welcome development for society, but it has brought with it increased suspicion and scrutiny from the current Powers That Be. Leftwing ideologues have been working on capturing the culture, especially education, for over half a century, ever since they abandoned marching in the streets to make the Long March through the institutions. Homeschooling is a deeply serious threat to the Left’s totalitarian lust for power, and that is why Scientific American, the nation’s leading mainstream science magazine, recently added its voice to the call that homeschooling parents be “regulated.”

In a May 14 opinion piece titled, “Children Deserve Uniform Standards in Homeschooling,”, the editors of Scientific American called for federal homeschooling regulations, going so far as to suggest that parents of homeschooled children “undergo a background check.” The magazine reiterated this message in its June 17 “Today in Science” newsletter.

The op-ed cited data from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) which stated that nearly 3% of American children — that’s 1.5 million kids — were homeschooled in 2019. That number rose dramatically during and in the wake of the pandemic nightmare, which at least had the positive benefit of giving many parents an eye-opening revelation about the kind of dumbing-down indoctrination and predatory sexualization that their children were being exposed to in the woke public school system. The most recent NCES estimate is that 5.4% of children in grades K-12 were homeschooled in 2020-2021. I have seen estimates as high as 10%, however; it is a difficult figure to pin down, partly because eleven states do not even require parents to inform anyone that they are home schooling.

In any case, the op-ed admits almost grudgingly that many homeschooled children “are well-rounded and well-adjusted children who go on to thrive as adults.” But, Scientific American frets, “others do not receive a meaningful education” – a laughable concern considering what a catastrophic failure education in America is today. Never mind a “meaningful” education – our failed children today can’t even spell the word.

Scientific American doesn’t explicitly mention this, but other accusations often directed at homeschoolers are that the kids are not being fully assimilated into the mainstream culture (as if that were a bad thing), they are getting too much religious education (as if that were a bad thing), and they are being inculcated with – gasp! – traditional values (as if that were a bad thing).

Anyway, the editors argue that the “federal government must develop basic standards for safety and quality of education in home schooling across the country.” They add that homeschooling parents should be required to undergo a background check — the same as K-12 teachers. By the way, to see just how effective a background check is, scroll through the videos at Libs of Tik Tok for the countless examples of openly radical freaks and groomers that somehow managed to get hired to teach our children.

Scientific American editors also complain that parents “are not required to have an education themselves to direct instruction.” In response, I would argue three points: one, that there are plenty of video examples online of barely literate, foul-mouthed teachers who don’t know their dangling participle from their XY chromosome; two, that what “educators” are mostly trained to teach today are Critical Race Theory, gender ideology, and anti-Americanism; and three, no one is more passionately committed to give their children a solid education than parents. Countless fathers and mothers (not “birthing parents”) who homeschool have simply taken the leap and committed to educating themselves and then their children. It’s demanding but it’s working, and that’s a “meaningful education” for the whole family.

Those same countless parents across the nation are wised up to, and fed up with, the politicized public education system and its obsession with drag queens, pride flags, transgender indoctrination, personal pronouns, and Critical Race Theory racism. They are sick of the Left’s mission to drive a wedge between them and their kids in order to transfer children’s trust and allegiance to the State.

OHHH yeah, this note-perfect refutation is for sure and certain a superlative instantiation of the “you absolutely MUST read the whole thing” sub-genre of essays and/or op-eds—not only read it, but bookmark it, recommend it to all your friends, family members, neighbors, co-workers, &c, then sit back, relax, and read it again. Heck, I’d even go so far as to suggest carrying a printed copy with you at all times, by way of equipping yourself to bodily tackle random strangers on the street, sit on their chests or otherwise pin them (tuck several sets of flex-cuffs in your back pockets for use as restraints of last resort), and read it aloud to them as well.

When the forcible reading is complete, help your newly-enlightened chum to his feet; gently brush the dust, dirt, and/or debris from his back and shoulders; apologize profusely for any injury, imposition, or inconvenience he may have suffered; offer cash-money compensation for repair or replacement of any damaged clothing resulting from his impromptu detention; express your deepest gratitude for his kind attention and forbearance; then bid him a cheery adieu as you both continue on your separate ways. Hey, no need for you to be a dick about it, amIright?

My sardonic flights of fancy aside, serious kudos and a reverential doffing of the CF chapeau to yon author for some truly outstanding work on this frank, skillfully composed, up-close-and-personal examination of one of the most momentous issues of this or any age.

3

The Left, eating itself

Questions without answers, problems without solutions.

We’re well into “Pride Month” now – only another twelve or fifteen weeks to go – and, as you know, my advice to the LGBTQWERTY crowd is to enjoy it while you can. Because demography is destiny, and the successor populations imported into the west will not be hot for Pride parades. That process is already underway, and it will intensify. To reiterate:

In the end, it’s all demography… You can change all the boys into girls and all the girls into boys but in the end there aren’t enough of either to alter the outcome. You’re merely arguing about who’ll be using which bathroom on the Oblivion Express.

Or maybe who’ll be waxing which genitals on the Oblivion Express. We used to do trans waxing stories on Rush and elsewhere every so often because, for a while, thanks to the psycho-tranny from hell in British Columbia, there were rather a lot of them. But, if you’re the salon-owner getting scorched, it’s not really funny:

Trans-identified male awarded $35,000 by Ontario court after women’s salon refused to wax ‘her’ balls

By “awarded”, the Court means that the proprietor of the ladies’ salon Mad Wax in Windsor, Ontario will have to pay it to her. His name, delightfully, is Carruthers (not this Carruthers, presumably). The bepenised beauty called up to have her wedding tackle waxed on a day when the attendant in question was …oh, I’m sure you can guess:

The salon employee working that day was a devout Muslim woman who refrained from physical contact with men, and the salon owner told the trans woman that they could not find a way to accommodate her request.

In other words, there is no correct answer to this dilemma. Mr Carruthers could have instructed the devout Muslima to wax the meat-and-two-veg in question and earned himself an entirely different “human rights” complaint or, alternatively, a visit to the bottom of the Detroit River courtesy of her husband and brothers. Like I said, no correct answer; an excess of diversity; what Marx would call the internal contradictions of multiculturalism.

The court in question was the Ontario “Human Rights” Tribunal, where I beat the rap over a decade-and-a-half ago. But time creeps on and the “human rights” judges have now discovered the universal human right to have your testicles depilated by an observant Muslim lady. Try it next time you’re in Riyadh.

Oh, if only they would—every last one of them, by no later than this time tomorrow. If ever there was a problem that solved itself, the “transgender” invasion of Saudi Arabia demanding their “right,” as “women,” to have Moslems depilate their junk for them would have to be an excellent example of one.

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