GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Stump the chump

Better sit down and swallow whatever you might be drinking for this one, folks. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

30 Questions Likely To Stump The ‘Sharp’ And ‘Vigorous’ Joe Biden
Joe Biden has the greatest mental acuity of any president in the history of the United States — at least that’s what the White House wants you to believe.

Throughout the past week, regime-approved media and administration officials have twisted themselves into pretzels trying to gaslight Americans into believing Biden is as “sharp” and “vigorous” as he’s ever been, despite incident after incident showing he’s in mental decline. These laughable claims come in response to the release of the Hur report, which found that Biden mishandled classified documents but concluded that “no criminal charges are warranted in this matter” because the president “would likely present himself to the jury…as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.”

While corporate media will never admit it, Biden can barely answer basic questions, let alone complete a sentence. So, to bring a little humor to your day, The Federalist has compiled a list of 30 questions likely to stump America’s befuddled commander-in-chief.

  1. What day is it today?
  2. What are the names of your grandchildren? (And how many do you have…?)
  3. When is your birthday?
  4. What is a woman?
  5. Who’s the president of France?
  6. What year is it?
  7. When were you first elected to the Senate?
  8. What are the main ingredients in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Plenty more where those came from, and they’re a laff riot. In fairness to Amerika v2.0’s “pResident”-ish*** Tyrantosaurus Wrex, though, half the friggin’ country seems to be having trouble with Number 4, or at least are pretending to for various stupid reasons.

Actually, it’s a serious situation we’re in, one that isn’t really very funny at all. But hey, my personal philosophy has always been that if it’s either laugh or cry, then I’d much rather laugh.

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Soviet fashion show

The past is a foreign country.

REMEMBER WHEN BIG BUSINESS USED TO MAKE FUN OF COMMIES? THE ’80S WERE AWESOME: Congressmen Bash Google AI for Refusing Image of Tiananmen Square. “Hawley reacted to Miller’s post by slamming Google and all CCP-pandering tech companies. ‘Google AI refusing to tell the truth about Tiananmen Square. When is Congress going to wake up and realize these tech companies are totally compromised by China. They’re killing our kids while vomiting Communist propaganda,’ he stated.”

The Eighties:

Good times, good times.

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Fraud, injustice, and tripping over one’s own tiny dick 101

The best, most thorough explication of the gaping, tractor-trailer-wide hole in the underhanded “fraud” judgment against Trump & sons I’ve seen yet.

One person who defended the verdict is CNN’s Laura Coates, who clearly doesn’t understand the implications or perhaps even the details of the case.

“Wouldn’t there be many companies who would not want to do business or loan money to people like yourself for investors if they know that they can get away with fraud and there’s no recourse to protect them?” she asked.

“Excuse me, what fraud?” (Shark Tank star Kevin O’Leary) asked. “This is not about Trump anymore.”

“I know,” she claimed.

“When you get a developer that builds a building and he says it’s worth 400 million, and he wants to borrow 200 million from a bank, which happens every day everywhere on Earth, including every American city — every developer is an entrepreneur, they shine the light on their building, and they say it’s worth 400. The bank does its own due diligence — as was done in this case, because they’re very good at it, the banks are very good — and they say no, it’s worth 300, we’re only going to loan you 150 million. That haggling has gone on for decades, that’s how it works.”

O’Leary continued, “And then, in this case, even the bank that was supposedly defrauded, testified and said we didn’t lose anything. We want to do business with this guy again, we’d like to, but the judge said, ‘No, no, no, no, no, no, let’s penalize this developer for $355 million. And if we’re going to do that, let’s penalize all the developers all across America. They’ve all done the same thing. All of them should go to jail and we should stop building buildings.’ That’s what the message is from New York. Even the governor herself is concerned about what this looks like to investors all around the world. It’s not just U.S. domestic. All around the world, people are talking about what happened here. You really think people want to invest money in New York after this?”

Not if they’re even the slightest bit perspicacious and business-savvy, they don’t. Yet more rich buttery goodness at the link, as if the preceding excerpt wasn’t already enough.

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Make ’em PAY

Let’s just find out who really has the power here…and who does NOT.

Trump-supporting truckers vow their boycott could ‘shut New York City down’ after $355M fraud ruling
Truckers supporting Donald Trump are warning that their refusal to deliver to the Big Apple could paralyze New York City — as more drivers vow to join the boycott following the bombshell ruling in the former president’s civil fraud case.

“It could shut New York City down,” said Jennifer Hernandez, a trucker who has joined in the protest against Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron’s decision to fine Trump $355 million for inflating his net worth by billions to dupe banks and insurers.

Shut ‘em down? It could damned well starve ’em out, actually. Which would serve them right, far as I’m concerned. Let ‘em try chowing down on their own insufferable self-righteousness and sanctimony, see how much sustenance the shitlib asstards can draw from that.

Several other truckers have been posting on social media expressing their support.

One man even suggested the boycott could go on for three years.

“Keep on f—ing around, you’re going to find out, New York,” he said in a video posted to TikTok.

The boycott seemed to have been started by conservative social media influencer Chicago Ray, who posted a clip Friday saying he had spoken to some of his trucker colleagues who said they would stop making deliveries to the city starting Monday.

He claimed that 95% of truckers support the former president, and said the bosses of freight companies “ain’t gonna care if we deny the loads — we’ll just go somewhere else.”

(Fake)Newsweak, in their typically-dishonest fashion, tried mightily to portray Chicago Ray as having “backed down” and totally reconsidered his position (no link, look it up yourself if you don’t believe me), but that doesn’t appear to be the case at all.


Unexpectedly, NY’s governor seems to be fully alive to the disaster that even a small minority of truckers refusing to continue putting up with the extreme hassle, expense, and hazard both personal and professional of pulling loads into the Big Rotten Apple would result in for her state, issuing a preemptive “don’t worry, all is well” notice to justly-worried New Yorkers that she had to know wasn’t going to fool anybody.

The New York governor has told business owners in her state that there is “nothing to worry about” after Donald Trump was fined $355m and temporarily banned from engaging in commerce in the state when he lost his civil fraud trial Friday.

In an interview on the New York radio show the Cats Roundtable with the supermarket billionaire John Catsimatidis, Kathy Hochul sought to quell fears in some quarters that the penalties handed to Trump for engaging in fraudulent business practices could chill the state’s commercial climate.

Asked if businesspeople should be worried that if prosecutors could “do that to the former president, they can do that to anybody”, Hochul said: “Law-abiding and rule-following New Yorkers who are businesspeople have nothing to worry about because they’re very different than Donald Trump and his behavior.”

She added that the fraud case against Trump resulted from “really an extraordinary, unusual circumstance”.

True, dat; in fact, it’s quite unique, no one else ever before having been persecuted, harassed, and fleeced to the tune of half a billion fucking dollars (!!!)—along with two (2) of his sons—for a so-called “crime” that’s been committed by pretty much every living soul who ever applied for a loan, in the course of which one of the putative “victims” actually testified that Trump was, in essence, the very model of a model customer.

Trump never missed a loan payment, the credit reports and the banker’s testimony showed. In almost a decade as a borrower, Trump was never even late making a payment – not before, during, or after his presidency.

“So far as I can recall, the loans were performing,” the banker, Nicholas Haigh, told the judge in the non-jury trial, at which attorney general Letitia James seeks to banish Trump Organization from her state’s borders, and to ban Trump and his eldest sons from ever running a New York company again.

“And all the obligations of the borrower were met,” Trump attorney Jesus M. Suarez asked the banker in his next question.

“As far as I know, yes,” the banker answered.

If Trump’s prompt payments were not enough to burnish his borrower bona fides, the former president’s collateral also grew, the credit reports showed. It grew by millions each year, as the projects Deutsche Bank funded with $400 million in loans – his tower in Chicago, his golf resort in Miami, his luxury hotel in Washington DC – were developed.

And all the while, the bank made “millions” in interest, the banker testified, to that extent bolstering a frequent Trump defense talking point: that the fraud trial is a political grudge in search of a victim. Trump, who last week attended the first three days of the trial, is expected to return in person next week, The Messenger and the Associated Press reported.

That’s because, as everyone in the whole damned world knows, “a political grudge in search of a victim” is EXACTLY what this horseshit is. Trump is being persecuted by TPTB for the heinous crime of having the temerity to not be one of their clique and go ahead and run for “President” anyway. Why, the unmitigated GALL of the man! Uncle Peter, my smelling salts!!

Update! Via Irish.


Brings to mind a memorable Gandalf quote from Tolkien’s The Two Towers.

Gandalf:
It was more than mere chance that brought Merry and Pippin to Fangorn. A great power has been sleeping here for many long years. The coming of Merry and Pippin will be like the falling of small stones that starts an avalanche in the mountains.

Aragorn:
And one thing you have not changed, my friend.

Gandalf:
Hmm?

Aragorn:
You still speak in riddles.

Gandalf:
A thing is about to happen that has not happened since the elder days. The Ents are going to wake up…and find that they are strong.

And so they did—did they ever! God help “blue” America if ever the majority of truckers wake up one day and, like the Shepherds of the Trees of Fangorn Forest, realize just how strong they truly are.

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Behind the Hollywood scenes

Two wonderful backstage tales via KT.


The story continues from there, to wind up in a place you probably wouldn’t expect: Bronson and Russell skateboarding together all over the studio lot, in open defiance of insurance regs against it. Good, good stuff. Next up: how Bugs Bunny saved Mel Blanc’s life.


The follow-on dialogue is priceless.


Heh. I can think of but one way to respond to that.

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Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke

Comedian David Lucas gives ‘em hell. Rather, he gives ‘em the plain and simple truth, and they think it’s hell.

‘I like Kyle Rittenhouse too!’ Comedian rips on George Floyd, black audience members storm out
Representing exhibit A in the case of why those readily triggered shouldn’t go to live comedy shows, David Lucas doubled down on controversy after daring to invoke the name of George Floyd during a set at the Kansas City Funny Bone.

The standup star, who built a career on MTV’s “Yo Momma” and later on the All Def Digital program “Roast Me” before opening for the likes of Joe Rogan and Louis CK, recently shared a video of an incident from a January performance where an interaction with a heckler went too far for some black audience members.

In a snippet of the incident shared by The Post Millenial’s senior editor Andy Ngô, Lucas had just finished unsuccessfully trying to talk an audience member to come on stage to get roasted and said, “All these f*ckin’ good a** white people at my show and you want to show them the reason George Floyd got his neck kneeled on?”

“Don’t ‘oo’ at that joke. It’s just a joke man. I would have never kneeled on George Floyd’s neck,” the comedian said as the audience had mixed reactions. “I would have shot that n*gga.”

A back-and-forth proceeded before the first of several audience members decided to bail on the rest of the performance with one man asserting to Lucas, “You need to know about George Floyd before you get yo a** up there talking about him. You really stoop low to be funny don’t you know that.”

“It’s called comedy,” the comedian replied before another group felt he “took it too far” and chafed at the jokes.

“I can tell you voted for Biden,” Lucas ripped as one woman made a production of leaving the show. “You already bought that VIP ticket. I already got that $42.”

“Buy a t-shirt on the way out too. I got a Make America Roast Again shirt in the style of Trump,” the comedian added.

With another parting shot, he riled those offended by jokes about the May 2020 death of Floyd in police custody by calling back to an incident that happened amid the ensuing riots and said, “I like Kyle Rittenhouse too!”

In sharing over 16 minutes of the show on YouTube, Lucas had titled the video “Controversial Joke Infuriates Crowd, Show Spirals Out of Control,” and days after it was posted, the same attitude that led to the walkouts had him pointing out on Facebook, “[I’m] currently getting ‘Cancelled’ for a joke, and i do not apologize about the joke at All, i will continue to joke about Everything.”

Good on ya, Dave, you damned sure got the right idea about what cutting-edge comedy is supposed to be all about—NOTHING sacred, NOTHING out of bounds, NOTHING off limits, NO bridge too far, NO topic too hot to touch. Shouldn’t oughta have bought a ticket if they can’t handle the ride. Keep sticking to your guns no matter what, it really is the only way.

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THAT’LL teach him!

Yeah, you shitlib idiots really taught this kid a lesson he won’t ever forget. You can bet he won’t be crossing you tough, scary, badass mufuggas again anytime soon.


Mo’ bettah deets.

Guess Who’s at the Super Bowl? That Kid Who Got Smeared as a Racist by Deadspin
Remember the story where some lunatic woke writer at “sports” outlet Deadspin smeared a nine-year-old boy for allegedly wearing blackface and a native headdress to a football game in November, which of course to them indicated he was a virulent racist?

It turns out the whole premise was BS, and the kid’s face was painted with colors that the Kansas City Chiefs have used in logos and merchandising. Not only that, the boy turned out to be Native American, and was proudly wearing his headdress to honor that heritage.

Can you say, “egg on the face?”

The whole saga reeks of woke journalism where activists posing as reporters don’t care about the facts, they just want something to fit their narrative. We saw it with Kyle Rittenhouse, and we saw it with the “Covington Kid,” Nick Sandmann.

It’s a disgrace to journalism, and sadly, it’s not all that uncommon these days:

The 9-year-old boy was at the center of a firestorm during the regular season when he was seen wearing black paint across half of his face and a headdress as the Chiefs took on the Las Vegas Raiders at Allegiant Stadium. Deadspin wrote an article that accused the boy of blackface and offending Native American culture.

But his face was painted black on one side and red on the other for the Chiefs colors, and the boy’s grandfather is reportedly on the board of the Chumash Tribe in California.

Deadspin edited the story to remove the photo at the top that featured the boy and said they “regret any suggestion that we were attacking” Holden.

Armenta’s parents filed suit against Deadspin, and they wrote in their complaint:

“H.A. did not wear a costume headdress because he was ‘taught hate at home’ — he wore it because he loves the Kansas City Chiefs football team and because he loves his Native American heritage.”

I hope Armenta is enjoying the game, even though his Chiefs are currently trailing San Francisco 10-3 at halftime.

And Deadspin, I hope you’re enjoying the taste of crow.

Myself, I hope they all choke on it until they are dead, dead, dead. I mean that quite literally, too.

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Traveshamockery of “justice”

Not to beat this dead old horse or anything, but I just had to throw in this bit from Steyn’s pre-post-mort because I thought it was just funny as hell.

You might recall that exactly a week ago we linked to Kerry Wakefield’s excellent primer on the trial from The Spectator Down Under. This was Miss Wakefield’s final paragraph:

Given the vindictive USD$83 million damages found against Trump in his case against serial rape accuser E. Jean Carroll, one cannot be optimistic about any jury trial in deep blue Washington DC. But Steyn is going down fighting, and one cannot but admire his guts and brio, even if his bank balance has been cleaned out. Sadly Steyn, representing himself, is now in a wheelchair, having recently suffered three heart attacks. If ever there were a case deserving funding, it is his. The trial continues.

Williams played the Trump card in the final minutes of the trial, linking “election deniers” with “science deniers” and asking the jury to send a strong message to stop attacks on all the other scientists out there:

MR. WILLIAMS: And as you’ve been instructed, if you find punitive damages are appropriate for outrageous behavior, you can set an amount not just to punish, but to serve as an example to prevent others from acting in the same — in a same or similar way.

These attacks on Climate Scientists have to stop, and you now have the opportunity—

MS. WEATHERFORD: Objection.

MR. STEYN: Objection.

THE COURT: Sustained.

MR. WILLIAMS: Sustained? I am saying this heated…

MR. STEYN: My Lord, he’s continuing to talk.

Heh. Good one, Mark.

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Continuing education

Important Stuffz For Gals To Know 101.

A New Year – A New You
I post this only as a public service. We here at DMF have always prided ourselves with unceasing efforts to help create a well informed citizenry, as with our ongoing Public Service Educational Crash Course Series. This was sent to me by one of our smart-ass loyal readers, whom I have a strong suspicion is divorced………or soon will be.

MEN TEACHING CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER 
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By FEBRUARY 13, 2024

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 2 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2: Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 3: Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?–Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5: Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video. Meets 2 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? Open Forum .. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

More yet at the link, all of it equally hilarious—if not more so, especially nos. 8, 10, and 12.

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During Blaque Hissreh Mumf ‘n’ sheeit?

An insult, if you like.

Squatters take over 1,200 homes in Atlanta, open illegal strip clubs and terrorize neighbors: ‘Is this even America?’
Squatters are ruining entire neighborhoods in Atlanta and police response to evict is so slow, some homeowners have resorted to paying nuisances to leave.

Brazen squatters even opened an illegal strip club on a property they had taken over — one of the 1,200 homes which has been squatted in the city, according to the National Rental Home Council (NRHC) trade group.

“I’d be terrified in Atlanta to lease out one of my properties,” Matt Urbanski, who manages a local home-cleaning company, told Bloomberg.

Urbanski’s company cleans out homes for corporate landlords, and in some cases has to remove squatters’ possessions.

Recently one of his employees was shot after attempting to remove intruders from a property.

Simon Frost, CEO of large-scale landlord Tiber Capital Group, said there have been incidents of unlawful occupants brandishing weapons and threatening neighbors, which affects the safety of neighborhoods and other residents, according to Bloomberg.

Evicting squatters in Atlanta is tough, involving negotiating court backlogs and strained police resources.

Gee, Atlanta being Atlanta—“The city too busy to hate,” as they used to like to say of themselves—one wonders how those police resources might have become so “strained.” This next is the part I like best.

In October, an Atlanta neighborhood found itself at the center of a scandal involving squatters who transformed a home into an illegal strip club, complete with weekend parties and even live horses on the property.

Live horses?

‘Nuff said.

Update! Forgot to include the link, fixed now, with my apologies. Got way too many irons in the fire this evening, I’m afraid.

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Reagan Vs atheists

Slaying them with wit and good cheer.

We are approaching President Ronald Reagan’s 113th birthday, falling next week on February 6. Two days before his birthday in 1988, Reagan delivered remarks at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC. (Editor’s Note: The 2024 National Prayer Breakfast convened earlier this morning in the nation’s capital.).

He told attendees that he had “long been unable to understand the atheist in this world of so much beauty.” With a touch of mischief in his voice, he added: “I’ve had an unholy desire to invite some atheists to a dinner and then serve the most fabulous gourmet dinner that has ever been concocted, and — after dinner — ask them if they believe there was a cook.”

The audience responded with extended laughter and applause.

Heh. As the kids say nowadays, it’s funny ‘cause it’s true. I had forgotten Reagan’s birthday was the day after mine (I’ll be 64 this coming Monday, which I can scarcely believe). Of course, I seem to be forgetting all kinds of things as time marches ever on.

(Via Mark Tapscott)

Update! And suddenly, I’m reminded of another oldie but goodie: “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d’ve taken better care of myself.” What can one say but, ”Heh. Indeed.”

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Open letter to Ace at AoSHQ

I don’t know if you ever look in on this websty or not, but I do know some of your CoBs do, so maybe they can pass the word on to you: Man, please, you simply MUST stop with your series of posts making sport of dickhound Fani Willis and her illicit taxpayer-funded cocksman, Mr Darius “Sweetdick” Honeycum Esq. Seriously man, I’m begging over here; every time I read the latest installment, I end up squirting hot coffee out my nose from laughing so damned hard. I’m gonna bust a rib before long, and have to go to the hospital to have ‘em taped up.

I mean it, Ace, this stuff is so friggin’ funny it’s actually, literally hazardous to my health.

Fani Willis, Who Has Crabs More Frequently Than the Red Lobster Fisherman’s Feast Special, Fired an Employee Who Tried to Warn Her That Her Top Aide Was Misusing Funds
Disinformation Expert Ace

Say it’s not so, Fani. Say it’s not so.

Before getting to that, I have bad news: Knowing that depositions in the divorce action could be used to drive them out of office and possibly expose them to criminal action, Darrius “Sweetdick” Honeycum, Esq., suddenly decided to settle his divorce action, presumably on terms very favorable to his wife. This results, of course, in the subpoenas being null and void.

From the NY Post:

The Atlanta special prosecutor who brought election interference charges against Donald Trump reached a temporary divorce settlement with his estranged wife Tuesday — meaning he likely won’t have to testify in court about his alleged affair with his district attorney boss.

The settlement automatically canceled a hearing scheduled for Wednesday in which Darrius “Magicschwanz” Honeycum, Esq.* was expected to answer about his relationship with Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

It also means Willis will likely avoid testifying in the case.

*Edited for clarity.

I suppose this temporary settlement could be undone the moment he and Fani Willis are out of trouble.

Ed Morrissey:

One has to imagine that Mrs. Wade finally got her piece of the massive fees that Willis paid Wade to run the RICO prosecution. Up to now, Mrs. Wade complained in earlier filings, she’d gotten bupkis while Willis lived high on the $650,000 in legal fees she paid Wade.

Does that mean it’s all over? Should we be depressed?

Nah, son, don’t be a fag. The ex-wife has used the affair to extract a ton of money from Sweetdick Darrius, but her agreement to a settlement does not confer some kind of immunity on Sweetdick and Mummycooze. The news that she hired her Professional Boner with taxpayer funds and then had those funds effectively kicked back to her in the form of cruises and trips is still a concern to the state of Georgia, and the judge overseeing this case will be asking the same sort of questions that Mrs. Sweetdick intended to ask.

While this has no direct bearing on l’affaire Sweetdick, it does demonstrate that Fani Willis is as loose with rules about spending taxpayer money as she is in her droopy slackwalled choadbucket. Thus, one might suspect she might be a bit cavalier about spending taxpayer money to keep her Taxpayer-Funded Dick-Slinger in high style.

I have but one thing to say, and I’ll let Bart Simpson say it for me.

Update! Even more graft, payola, and abuse of authority.

Business Partners Of Fani Willis’ Alleged Lover Bankrolled Her Campaign. She Gave Them Lucrative Contracts.
Business partners of District Attorney Fani Willis’ alleged lover Nathan Wade, whom she appointed to work on the case against former President Donald Trump, made donations to her campaign before receiving lucrative contracts from her office.

Terrence Bradley, Wade’s former partner, and Christopher Campbell, his current partner, have collectively contributed more than $5,000 to Willis’ campaign, contribution disclosure reports show. Moreover, both men have each raked in tens of thousands of dollars from contracts with the district attorney’s office, according to county records.

Campbell is a partner at Wade & Campbell Firm, where he works with Wade. Bradley formerly worked with Wade at Wade, Bradley & Campbell Firm, and also represented Wade in his divorce case until Sept. 2022.

The donations add another wrinkle to Willis’ already-scrutinized relationship with Wade.

YET another wrinkle, you mean.

Bradley made three donations to Willis’ campaign: $1,000 in June 2020, $550 in October 2020 and $2,500 in June 2023, according to campaign disclosure reports.

Meanwhile, the district attorney’s office paid Bradley $74,480 between May 2021 and June 2022, according to county records. It remains unclear what work he was doing during that period.

Yeah, I bet so. Maybe Bradley was also pronging Willis’ well-worn spunkpocket his own self, thereby permitting the payoff to be filed under “for services rendered, MISC.”

An ATL lawyer friend of Glenn’s says: “Oh, this is cascading. And I’m only sending you the stuff that’s already public. You’d be amazed what unsubstantiated rumors are flying around among the local bar.” At this point, I don’t think I would be, actually.

Jeez, but what a corrupt, stinking sewer the Fulton County DA’s office is. And this woman wants to put TRUMP in jail? If she had any sense at all, she’d be really careful not to shake that particular tree too hard; if anybody oughta be in the slammer, it’s her. I say again: JEEZ.

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Your Celebrity Gall story of the year

Two via Ace: first up, Alyssa Milano self-beclowns in most spectacular fashion.

Alyssa Milano responds after critics slam her as ‘out of touch’ for requesting money for son’s baseball trip
‘Charmed’ star Alyssa Milano shares 12-year-old Milo with husband David Bugliari

Actress Alyssa Milano is responding after angering fans on social media by asking if they could donate to her son’s baseball team.

A day after her donation request, Milano took to X, formerly Twitter, to share that she had gotten a lot of “media inquiries about whether [she has] financially contributed to [her] son’s baseball team.”

“I’ve paid for uniforms for the entire team and coaches, thrown bday parties and sponsor any kid who can’t afford monthly dues,” she wrote Friday. “The kids also do fundraising themselves — car washes, movie nights, and many other fun things! Thank you to all who have contributed to the gofundme! You’ve made things easier for these boys and their families.”

Social media users were confused why Milano was asking her followers for money, when she is a multimillionaire. Milano starred on the hit drama “Charmed” for six seasons, and Bugliari is the co-head of motion picture talent at the management firm Creative Artists Agency.

Many were left wondering “why isn’t Alyssa Milano paying for the trip for the whole team herself,” while others were questioning why the actress is “asking for money from people who can barely buy groceries.”

Gotta say, that question occurred to me also. Next up, Kurt Russell provides the antidote, in most refreshing, no-bullshit fashion.


Most hilarious aspect: the “journalist” doing the interview obviously assumed he had himself a natural “gimme” with a big Hollywood name who was just bound to agree with his hoplophobic views such as Russell—OOOOPS!—but ended up getting his butt in the blades and chawed all to hell and gone instead. Y’know, a lot like Billy Bob Thornton’s poor character did in this solid-gold scene.

“You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed? No? I didn’t think so.” Priceless, just priceless. Nice to know that the guy who could utter those lines so brilliantly really does have his heart in the right place, and ain’t exactly what you’d call shy about saying so either.

Update! Via brack in the comments: Clay Travis steps up, problem solved. Just one leeeeetle catch…and it’s hilarious.


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Another “food desert” mirage

So first, this happened.

In-N-Out has never closed a location, until now. It cites crime as the problem
New York CNN—In-N-Out is permanently closing one of its restaurants for the first time ever, announcing that its Oakland location will soon shutter because of rampant crime in the California city.

The burger chain said in a statement that “despite taking repeated steps to create safer conditions, our customers and associates are regularly victimized by car break-ins, property damage, theft, and armed robberies.”

The location, which has been open for nearly two decades, will close on March 24. It’s the city’s only In-N-Out and is near the airport.

Crime has indeed substantially increased in Oakland: Burglaries were up 23% and motor vehicle thefts were up 44% in 2023 compared to a year prior, according to Oakland Police Department data obtained by CNN affiliate KGO-TV.

In-N-Out said in a statement that while “several” of its locations have relocated in its 75-year history, the Oakland closure is the first restaurant it has closed.

“We feel the frequency and severity of the crimes being encountered by our customers and associates leave us no alternative,” said Chief Operating Officer Denny Warnick, in the statement.

Notably, Warnick said its Oakland location was “busy and profitable,” but it can’t ask its customers or employees to “visit or work in an unsafe environment.” Affected employees, which amount to about 100, will transfer to a nearby restaurant in San Francisco or receive severance.

Then, the reliably-brilliant and hilarious Hodge Twins decided to have way too much fun with it, as is their wont.

Heh. Excellent rip, fellas.

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Justice, (well) done

Served up piping hot.

The Chickens Come Home to Roost for Chuck Schumer As Pro-Hamas Radicals Target His Daughter
Chuck Schumer and his daughter found themselves on the receiving end of pro-Hamas extremism on Friday evening. While the two ate dinner for Shabbat, “protesters” showed up at the apartment building shouting for a “ceasefire” and accusing Schumer of killing children.

The scene was a familiar one, with crazed Hamas supporters spending the months after the October 7th attack in Israel harassing people and shutting down infrastructure. All in the name of blood-thirsty terrorists who murdered babies, raped women, and beheaded people on camera because they are just so darn “oppressed.”

My feelings about this specific situation involving Schumer are complicated.

Mine aren’t, not even slightly: FUCK him, his whole family, and the horse they all rode in on. Right in the liver, with a rusty railroad spike.

What kind of deranged psychos picket the apartment of a Jewish woman, screaming for a ceasefire with genocidal lunatics, just because her father is a senator? There’s nothing right and good about that, and the protesters themselves should be maligned and condemned.

On the other hand, Chuck Schumer wanted this. He has spent years excusing antisemitism in his own party, refusing to call out bigots like Rep. Rashida Tlaib and Rep. Ilhan Omar. In lieu of that, he’s blamed all the world’s ills on nebulous, nearly non-existent “right-wing extremists” and “white supremacy.”

When you feed the alligator, I’m not sure you deserve much sympathy when it bites your arm off.

Exactly, precisely so—which is why my sympathy for steaming, stinking pieces of dung like Schemer is not just limited, but entirely nonexistent. He and every other conniving, double-dealing shitlib like him can all die in a fire, screaming, for all me. Protesters showing up at their homes shouting at them is but a mere tithe of what they actually deserve. To paraphrase one of my dear old grandma’s go-to aphorisms, you lay down with Jew-hating Muzzrat terrorists, you get up with fleas. So be it, then.

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