Keeping a lid on things

A practical application of the Second Amendment.

On Tuesday night a second round of riots and looting took place in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota, which is not far from the riot-and-crime-ridden city of Minneapolis. Footage of Dollar Tree and other storefronts being burglarized in act of civil protest against racial injustice circulated online, and gunshots were routinely heard in the distance.

A few stores in Brooklyn Center were left unmolested, however: businesses guarded out front by armed civilians.

Emphasis mine, and vital.

Despite calls to violent “revolution” by looters, they did not appear interested in a confrontation with determined shopkeepers.

No, I reckon not. The pics at the bottom of this Tweet say it all.



Don’t start none, won’t be none, bitches. However, be aware: if you DO start some, there are folks around who’ll be more than happy to finish it for ya.

Ghastly!

Haven’t mentioned the death of Prince Phillip here yet, because…well, because meh, honestly. But then I saw this.

The royal consort of the UK has died at age 99. An acerbic individual, here are a selection of Prince Philip’s greatest hits, including his long-running wars against Tom Jones and Elton John, from a 2011 article in The Independent:

1. “Ghastly.” Prince Philip’s opinion of Beijing, during a 1986 tour of China.

2. “Ghastly.” Prince Philip’s opinion of Stoke-on-Trent, as offered to the city’s Labour MP Joan Walley at Buckingham Palace in 1997.

7. “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?” Asked of a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.

8. “Damn fool question!” To BBC journalist Caroline Wyatt at a banquet at the Elysée Palace after she asked Queen Elizabeth if she was enjoying her stay in Paris in 2006.

11. “We don’t come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.” During a trip to Canada in 1976.

13. “British women can’t cook.” Winning the hearts of the Scottish Women’s Institute in 1961.

15. “What do you gargle with – pebbles?” To Tom Jones, after the Royal Variety Performance, 1969. He added the following day: “It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs.”

16. “It’s a vast waste of space.” Philip entertained guests in 2000 at the reception of a new £18m British Embassy in Berlin, which the Queen had just opened.

18. “If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” Said to a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.

22. “I would like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family.” In 1967, asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union.

Good, goooood squishy, that is. More equally succulent Royal badinage at the link. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, Your Highness.

Backscat

Related to the previous post, yes, but I had someplace else I wanted to go with this theme and decided to give it its own place in the sun.

All-Star Game Moved From Atlanta To Uyghur Prison Camp Yard
ATLANTA, GA—Spokespeople for Major League Baseball announced today that the All-Star Game this summer will be moved from Atlanta, due to its egregious voting laws, to a Uyghur prison camp yard, where there aren’t any bad voting laws at all.

The game will be held in the spacious prison yard, which features a tall barbed-wire fence and a modest outfield. The venue features lots of free labor, so every role from the ball boys to the concession vendors won’t cost the league a dime. In fact, the workers are already happily chalking the baselines and tending the grass, since if they don’t, they will be murdered.

“We must move the All-Star game to a place that shares our values,” said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. “This prison yard is absolutely perfect, and they’re giving it to us absolutely free. What a friend we have in Communist China!”

“Most importantly, the prison camp has no ban on early voting, since there is no voting, and no law against giving voters water, since there are no voters. Or water.”

In case you didn’t know already, the Bee is referencing Coca Cola’s ongoing more-than-cozy relationship with some truly rancid Commie dictatorships, China included. Anyways, know how I’m always going on about how working at the Bee has to be one of the toughest jobs in the world, given the near-impossibility of satirizing the overall state of affairs these days?

Well. About all that.

MLB Moves All-Star Game to Blue State with Stronger Election Laws Than Georgia

After pulling the All-Star Game from Atlanta over a Georgia election integrity law in line with the majority of U.S. states and most nations around the world, MLB is awarding the game to…drum roll please…the blue state of Colorado.

Here is the clincher though: Colorado has voter ID to vote in person, requires signature verification for mail-in ballots (unlike Georgia, which requires last four of Social Security number or driver’s license number), and a similar ban on food and water being given away by electioneers that Georgia has.

The All-Star Game being pulled from the Braves will cost Cobb County, where the stadium is hosted, and the surrounding areas an estimated $100 million in tourist revenue.

Awww, what a shame. I can’t even remember the last time ATL (where I lived for two years myself back in the late 90s) had a Republican mayor, so it is only meet and just that Duh Peepul get what they voted for—good and hard.

IT’S THE REAL THING, BABY!!!

Ruh roh.

Racial stereotypes, racial classifications and quotas, explicitly racist indoctrination — why is Coca-Cola so obsessed with discriminating against people based on the color of their skin rather than evaluating all of the individual characteristics that make each person a unique member of the human race? Perhaps racism is in the company’s own DNA, not at all different from the way the beverage company judges white Americans as racists for historical injustices in which they claimed no part.

Actually, let’s just be straight and upfront about what Coke’s master-race bigotry truly is: Naziism.

Translation: One race, one nation, one fizzy sugar water—Coke is it! As an OG blogger, I’ve been waiting many years for the chance to use this old line unironically, and by here by the grace of God it is at long, long last: Sounds better in the original German. Another piece of vintage Coke memorabilia, to give you an even more delicious frisson of…dare we call it…schadenfreude?

SIEG HEIL, UBERMENSCHEN!!

It would take a heart of stone not to laugh, wouldn’t it? More thirst-quenching goodness:

Coca-Cola was a major presence in Nazi Germany, even though officials in the Reich were said to believe the stuff was too frivolous for the German character. Nevertheless, the very American nature of the product (wealth, flashy dreams, etc.) appealed too much to the German public and the stuff was kept around. It wasn’t until 1942 that the company’s presence in the nation was seriously threatened.

Coca-Cola’s hundreds of bottling plants in Germany were naturally cut off from main American support when America entered World War II. But Max Keith, the representative of the company in Germany at the time, redubbed the product “Fanta” for Reich consumption. The bottling factories and processing plant were then used to provide Germany’s citizens a key element to keep their energy up to support the war effort: A supply of sugar above what the government rationed to them. After the war, Keith, in an amazing display of company loyalty, turned over the wartime profits to the parent company when the Allied armies arrived, when surely the gigantic amount of inevitable post-war confusion and complication would have allowed him to sneak off with it.

Back to the first piece for more yet:

Does Coca-Cola not highlight its financial history with Nazi Germany when crowing about its racial purity tests today? Or the fact that Germany’s inconvenient declaration of war against the United States made it sufficiently difficult for Coca-Cola to maintain its prominent reputation within the Reich that the company’s German representatives repurposed the operations of hundreds of bottling plants toward the production of a new drink called Fanta to serve thirsty German soldiers throughout the war? Does the Coca-Cola Company not brag about Fanta’s wartime genesis as a Nazi beverage? How strange.

One would think that a company so dedicated to rooting out “white supremacy” that it forces its white employees into racial re-education training seminars would first want to take a hard look at its own rather awkward historical relationship with actual white supremacists intent on building a world-dominating “master race.” That’s what “racial justice” requires, right — the punishment of one generation of Americans for the sins of generations past? So why should Coca-Cola’s questionable corporate history be off-limits when it goes out of its way to demonize white Americans for no other reason than the color of their skin?

On the other hand, everything about Coca-Cola’s racial indoctrination program today sounds as if it could be ripped right from the pages of Nazi Germany’s own race laws, with Jews and other “undesirables” being crossed out and “whites” scribbled in their place. All the racial animosity that nearly destroyed humanity last century is back in “woke” form, and some of the same companies that underestimated the Nazi threat then are underestimating the evil intent of the new racialist agendas that are taking over the corporate world today.

Let’s just be honest here: racial animosity never really went away, and it’s never going to. It can be shunned, it can be made socially unacceptable, it can be suppressed or denied. But down deep, in one way or another, preference for one’s own breed and distrust and/or distaste for those outside it will always be around. Tribalism, clannishness, and hostility to The Other are all simply innate with us humans, an ineradicable part of our nature. The only truly new phenomenon here is the bone-deep audacity of Woke execs shamelessly sermonizing at everybody else on the very sins their own corporate entity is but mere decades away from having been guilty of itself.

Fret not, though; I’m sure that, despite the blasé shrugging whenever some fed-to-the-gills Southron declines to shoulder the full weight of responsibility for a long-defunct Peculiar Institution he had nothing to do with personally via pointing at the unjust foolishness of condemning the long-dead past according to present-day standards, Hitler-Cola execs will feel no more shame about resorting to that same defense than they do about constantly lecturing non-shitlibs on their abominable politics. Naturally, their Komrades will be more than happy to play right along with the ruse, too.

Which only makes it all the more vital that we all point at Coca Cola’s Executive Suite shitweasels and just laugh, laugh, laugh.

Blame it on the dog

A likely story.


With a senile, decrepit old wreck like Cadaver Joe in residence, White House staff shouldn’t be in any rush to wag an accusatory finger at the dogs. One of them may very well be the culprit, sure. But I wouldn’t be willing to put any money on it.

Precocious pup

Another one I’ve had sitting in an open tab for quite a while. Trust me, it was worth the wait.

For the last five years or so, the campus of Colombia’s Diversified Technical Education Institute of Monterrey Casanare has been home to a sweet black dog named Negro. There, he serves as a guardian of sorts, keeping watch over things as students go about their studies.

In return, Negro is cared for by the school’s faculty, who provide him with food, water, attention and a safe place with them to pass the night.

But the dog has apparently decided that anything beyond that is up to him.

Early on in Negro’s tenure at the school, he came to be aware of the little store on campus where students gather to buy things on their breaks; sometimes they’d buy him cookies sold there.

This, evidently, is where the dog first learned about commerce — and decided to try it out himself.

“He would go to the store and watch the children give money and receive something in exchange,” teacher Angela Garcia Bernal told The Dodo. “Then one day, spontaneous, he appeared with a leaf in his mouth, wagging his tail and letting it be known that he wanted a cookie.”

As you might expect, after the dog realized his money literally grows on trees, it’s been a regular thing.

“He comes for cookies every day,” Gladys Barreto, a longtime store attendant, told The Dodo. “He always pays with a leaf. It is his daily purchase.”

From what I read elsewhere, apparently this canine supergenius scores his folding money from the same tree every time, the leaves of which more closely approximate Colombian currency in both color and size than those of other foliage types available to him.

Yes, there are pictures. Heck, there’s even video, and it’s awesome. Just stop calling ’em dumb animals, ‘kay? After all, Negro shows much more capacity for higher cognition and reason than “president” Fingerbang, or almost any other shitlib you could name.

Vote Big Dan!

Make America Texas again? Sounds like a plan to me.

Dan Rodimer is a former WWE wrestler who is running for Congress in Texas.

In one of his new ads, he takes aim at Nancy Pelosi and Democrats in Washington, DC and refers to them as ‘commies’ who are ruining America.

If he keeps this up, his chances should be pretty good.

Take my word for it, folks: you do NOT want to miss the campaign video. It’s a real humdinger, that’s what.


The DC article GP links to on the guy is all abrim with rich, buttery Rodimer goodness:

“The commies in D.C. are ruining America,” Rodimer continues. “We have a big problem … I know how to handle Nancy Pelosi and stop her bullsh*t.”

As he steps in a pile of manure, Rodimer says that he will “put a boot right in her socialist platform.”

The congressional candidate slams Democrats for “men in women’s bathrooms, boys in girls’ sports, higher taxes,” and “higher gas prices.”

“They’re building a wall around D.C., but they’re not protecting our borders,” Rodimer adds. “They’re laughing at us.”

Rodimer says that he moved his wife and six children to Texas because he wants to raise his kids in a state that is friendly to the Constitution.

“The communists in D.C. want to shut down our churches, close our businesses, indoctrinate our children, communism in our classrooms, make our daughters unsafe in sports and school, destroy American borders and our American history,” Rodimer continues. “We must stop them.”

Indeed we must, while we still can. Personally, I can’t find anything at all objectionable in any of that, taking it for the both-barrels blast of righteous, double-aught Truth right in the face that it is. Nevertheless, there IS a dark side here, one for which Rodimer can in no way be blamed.

Click on the link embedded in the above Tweet and peruse the responses and you’ll quickly feel the smothering miasma of despair settling over you like fog, as it hits you just how very many shitlibs have already descended on the great Republic of Texas like some Biblical plague, with more almost certain to come. Their peurile, doot-brained attacks on Big Dan are straight out of the Shitlib 101 handbook, quite easily dismissible if one is so inclined to waste time and energy on that futile endeavor, which I ain’t. What’s troubling about it is not that the “arguments” are tough to counter—because actually, they aren’t. It’s that they’re there in the first place, evidence of the dangerous infestation of the very heart of one of freedom’s last, best hopes. If these locusts are allowed to swarm Texas and overcome it, there’ll no longer be any refuge left where Real Americans might escape them.

Ironic as it surely is to note that one of the primary weapons the Twatter Libtards try to wield against Big Dan is the “carpetbagger” canard—which bothered them not in the slightest when HILLARY!™ glommed a NY address solely to enable the drunken megalomaniac to slither her way into the legislature—true-blue Texans shouldn’t let any of it dissuade them from supporting Dan Rodimer without reservation come election day. Not only is the future of the Republic at stake, it would also amount to a bodacious middle-finger salute directed at a whole passel of wretched, snotnosed twerps who have most certainly earned one—that, and a whole lot more besides.

Raycissts and homophobes and hate, oh my!

Sooner or later, they’ll get around to something you DO care about.

It’s time to cancel the Village People

Meh—as a diehard disco-hatin’ rock and roller all my life, I thought so a long time ago. But maybe that’s just me.

Discerning cancellation connoisseurs so far have overlooked one of the most problematic boy bands of the 20th century — and it’s time to change that. The American disco group the Village People features a cast of empenised individuals donning costumes that glorify toxically masculine tropes of the time: a police officer, a cowboy, a construction worker, a sailor, a biker and, bizarrely, a Native American (more on that later).

This mono-gendered depiction of the local proletariat is laughably outdated. While some might say the only thing lesbians are actually good at is running nonprofits, today we know that Sappho’s daughters are just as good as men, probably better, at chasing down perps, roping steer and erecting skyscrapers. But let’s look at the music. Have you ever actually listened to the group’s 1979 hit ‘In the Navy’? On that track, it’s one of the band’s black members who shouts repeatedly, ‘I’m afraid of water!’

That raised my eyebrows. A constantly repeated racist stereotype is that black people can’t swim. The slur conjures up painful memories of the racial history of American swimming pools and that heated debate among the wokerati as to whether water itself is, in fact, racist.

Forget the fact that the music video was made with the help of the US Navy. The Village People, despite cashing in on military trappings, have remained silent on the struggle for trans people to serve openly in the military.

Silence is violence. And the name of the group itself is violence against trans womxn of color. Manhattan’s Greenwich Village today is emblematic of cis-het gentrification and a painful reminder of white real-estate terrorism. Take a stroll down Christopher Street on any given Friday night and see for yourself: trans womxn of color banished to basement stairwells and parked cars to perform sex acts for money in the shadows rather than high on a pedestal wearing golden knee pads.

Moreover, what does the ‘C’ stand for in the Village People’s number one hit song ‘Y.M.C.A.’? That’s right, Christian.

Today’s Alphabeteer is blessed with more enlightened sheroes and none involves cisgender men sporting getups that look like something from a plastic bag in the Halloween aisle at Ricky’s. While today’s paragons of LGBTQQAI2S++ liberation still play dress up, it’s usually as large, hairy women and we broadcast them in benevolently corporate media and in ads for Uber Eats.

The uniforms of true LGBTQQAI2S++ warriors aren’t fitted and pressed but more neon and bedraggled, like some highly poisonous, jungle-dwelling amphibian broadcasting to any creature in sight, touch me and die! The struggle for rights has moved well beyond an insular celebration of one’s own community to shock, revolt and intimidate all the others.

If the Village People wish to make a comeback in the age of woke, and pay penance to all the gender non-conforming children they’ve irreparably damaged, they’ll need a radical overhaul. Let’s rename them while we’re at it: the Global Village People. First to go are those caricatures of working class, Trumpian barbarism, to be replaced with more revolutionary-minded archetypes. Imagine the curtain rising on a packed Las Vegas stadium to reveal a college professor, a clipboard-toting community organizer, an app developer, the world’s fattest man, a Syrian war refugee, and Greta Thunberg — belting their new hit songs, ‘Trans in the Navy,’ ‘Go East,’ and everyone’s favorite open-borders ballad, ‘D.A.C.A.’

If that doesn’t sweep the Grammy’s, you’re all a bunch of bigots.

Well, of COURSE we are. The trick is to embrace their every insult and epithet, wear it with utmost pride, and then dare the shitlibs to do something about that. The moment you show even the slightest sign that you might possibly care even a little bit what they think about anything, you lose.

His got up and go has got up and went

ZOMGtoofrigginFUNNY.


Sorry, Jules; I love ya and all, you know I do. Nonetheless, I must assure one and all that I do NOT “hope he’s ok.” In truth, I do not give a tinker’s damn whether he is or not. Nor do I feel the slightest twinge of pity for this shambolic morgue-escapee. His current plight, after all, was entirely self-created. His suffering—grossly exacerbated by his numerous physical and mental infirmities—is directly and solely a result of his moral and ethical ones.

Biden’s greed, self-absorption, corruption, and core dishonesty led him to where he is. So let him enjoy it, then. This latest humiliating, pathetic collapse doesn’t even amount to a down-payment on the titanic just-deserts debt Gropey owes. He can die screaming and then burn in Hell for a thousand years, as far as I’m concerned.

All of which means I find this next one even more side-splitting:


Heh. Nice shot, Mr Preznit, sir!

Gee, who coulda seen THIS coming?

Who says there’s nothing funny about the Fauxvid19 Klown Kar Krash?

In the United Kingdom (U.K.) alone, mask waste is now exceeding five Eiffel Towers’ worth of rubbish every single year. And yet we have not heard a peep from the climate alarmists about how all that filthy plastic pollution is destroying the planet at a catastrophic rate.

Many people who wear a mask regularly are probably unaware of the fact that those disposable, made-in-China blue ones contain plastic materials that take 450 years to biodegrade. This means that for the next seven or eight generations, all those filthy masks will stew in the world’s water supplies and leach microplastics well into the future.

Since tens of millions of people wear these blue masks one after another, day after day – with no end in sight – there will effectively be untold billions of them littering the world’s oceans pretty much forever.

The environmental impact of this is virtually immeasurable. An analysis out of the U.K. determined that every single day in Great Britain alone, 66,000 tons of contaminated plastic waste is created from people wearing single-use masks.

Since many retail stores are still handing out single-use blue masks like candy on Halloween, people continue to take them, use them once, then throw them in the trash or on the ground on the way out to their car.

“How many will end up in oceans and landfills, contaminating water and food chains with micro-plastics?” Dr. Joondeph asks. “Will sea animals become entangled in elastic mask straps as they are with plastic six-pack rings?”

Another irony is the fact that fossil fuel-derived petroleum is required to make single-use blue masks. If the leftists pushing the man-made climate change conspiracy theory achieved their ultimate goal of completely transitioning to “renewable” energy, there would be no more raw material available to make these masks.

“The same ‘follow the science’ crowd is also quite certain that man made global warming will destroy the planet, now in nine short years according to climate scientist John Kerry,” Dr. Joondeph says. “Yet they are ignorantly or willfully paying no attention to the real environmental impact of the mountains of trash created over dubious COVID rules and mandates, such as masking up the entire population indefinitely.”

“Was it ever about the environment? Or the virus? Or simply a power grab by the left?”

For those of us who know the Left well, the question answers itself. Which, unfortunately, still leaves a depressing number out there who will be scratching their heads in befuddlement forever at such an insuperable mystery. There’s only ever one question anyone needs to bother with: for the Left, when is it NOT a simple power grab? Although really, that’s another one that easily answers itself.

Fight the Power!

Pegging away at the insidious Eye in the Sky.

Drone-bottle.png

Kinda small and fuzzy-looking, I know. Hopefully you greybeards will be able to read it okay, but for anyone whose eyes just can’t get that squinty, here’s what it says:

***Attention Wayne Hills Residents***

Please stop throwing beer bottles at the drones. They are property of Portsmouth Police Department and they run surveillance on the property for your protection. We repeat, STOP KNOCKING DOWN OUR ANTI-DRUG ACTIVITY DRONES!

Heh. Yeh, yeh, yeh; suck it, espionage-boy.

However “too little, too late” in coming it may be, as far as I’m concerned there can never be a bad time to start cocking the snook at the surveillance/police state Authority, any way one can come up with to do it. These two are sterling examples of that good old red-blooded American FUCK YOU! spirit—the spirit of for-real resistance, a thing we don’t see anywhere close to enough of these dark days—and the CF chapeau is humbly doffed to ’em for this inspiring display of it. Verily, this anonymous couple is an example to us all.

Plus, as Glasser says in his caption: beer bottles are cheaper than shotgun shells.

“The Ultimate Party Animal”

I love this story so much it hurts. I mean, physically hurts.

Who is Cocaine Bear? Kentucky legend is being made into a movie directed by Elizabeth Banks

See what I mean? Right out of the gate, you just know it’s going to be good.

Though it died in Georgia, the real-life cocaine bear gained notoriety in death and has become a legend of the kind that only Kentucky could produce.

“The real-life cocaine bear.” Pardon me while I savor the flavor of a phrase I never for a moment dreamed I would ever get the opportunity to type.

The bear was the victim of a fatal overdose that occurred when it ate a cache of cocaine that Andrew Thornton, a former Lexington narcotics officer turned drug smuggler, threw out over North Georgia.

Thornton was carrying $15 million in cocaine when he died parachuting out of a plane over Knoxville in September 1985. That saga is chronicled in Sally Denton’s 1989 book, “The Bluegrass Conspiracy.”

Tally so far: a drug cop gone bent. Death by skydiving. Gunny sacks of go-powder scattered across hill and dale. A fiending ursine who tragically succumbs to the killing combination of curiosity, incaution, and overindulgence, leading to posthumous fame and glory as a beloved wildlife icon.

Most anybody would find the story so far absorbing enough to establish it, as described by the author of the above report, as a bona fide saga. I can’t imagine any reasonable soul feeling shortchanged if it ended right there.

Incredibly, though, that was only the beginning.

The 175-pound bear’s body was found several months after Thornton’s and preserved with taxidermy. It was passed among various owners until it eventually was acquired by the operators of Lexington-based retailer Kentucky for Kentucky.

A kooky television ad featuring the bear, which has been dubbed Pablo Escobear, made headlines five years ago.

And Escobear is still enjoying fame.

Pablo Escobear. Heh. I dunno, I think I still prefer Cocaine Bear. Hold onto your hats, though; this epic tale is just getting off the ground.

Last month, Kentucky for Kentucky debuted a new mug design featuring the bear’s image. It reads, “Bluegrass Conspiracy’s Cocaine Bear The Ultimate Party Animal.”

The “Cocaine Bear” movie, written by Jimmy Warden, will be produced by Phil Lord and Chris Miller along with Banks and Max Handelman’s Brownstone Productions, Deadline reported.

Banks, Lord and Miller teamed up previously on “The Lego Movie” series. Banks most recently directed the 2019 “Charlie’s Angels” film.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, filming for “Cocaine Bear” could begin this summer.

Universal is backing the flick, in one of the most astute moves seen out of faltering Follywood in recent memory. Reading the above, one marvels that a movie hasn’t already been made; I mean c’mon man! Whatever might the movers and shakers in the world of feature film be thinking, letting a sure-fire blockbuster like this skate right by unnoticed for so long? But hey, late is better than never, I guess.

So does this report provide a pic of Cocaine Bear’s preserved corpus enjoying its enshrinement at Lexington’s Kentucky Fun Mall, you ask?

Ohhh, you just better bet it does.

CocaineBear.jpeg

I repeat: EPIC. All hail thee, dear Cocaine Bear! Forever may your memory be treasured. And may the cinematic chronicle of your unjust fate do truly boffo box office.

(Via Ed Driscoll)

Ulterior motive

See, I KNEW there had to be another reason.

Texas Removes Mask Mandate To Scare All The Californians Away
AUSTIN, TX—Governor Greg Abbott of Texas has just lifted the mask mandate and is allowing business to return to 100% capacity. The Governor explains that in these trying times, extreme measures must be taken to stop the spread of Californians into Texas and to scare them off from ever wanting to return. 

“The last thing we need is a bunch of sissies from California moving to our beautiful state of Texas and screwing everything up and turning the state blue!” said Governor Abbott during a Lubbock Chamber of Commerce event. “Too many Californians have entered our state. Too many ridiculous liberal ideas have already been proposed. This must end. It’s time to open Texas 100%.”

Governor Abbott continued, “We believe that by removing the mask requirement that all of the Californians will flee in terror, restoring our state to its former glory. As soon as they see the joy and hear the laughter of our citizens returning to normal life, they’ll be sure to pack up and leave at once.”

A wonderful idea, I think. Lord knows SOMETHING needs to be done, before it’s too late. Austin is already lost, and I have my doubts about Houston.

THAT’S how you do it!

A woman after my own heart.

MASK MADNESS Female shopper whips off her THONG and wears it as a Covid face mask after supermarket staff refused to serve her
THIS is the shocking moment a shopper whipped off her thong in the middle of a supermarket and donned it as a face covering after being refused service.

The viral clip shows the female customer remove her undies to put on her face after being warned she would not be served without a Covid mask on.

The bizarre incident was caught on camera at a Pick n Pay supermarket in South Africa, and has since caused quite a stir online.

The shopper was asked to put on a face covering by a security guard, but claimed she did not have one.

After threatening to remove her from the store, footage shows the woman then reach under her dress and whip off her thong to use as a makeshift mask.

Another female shopper, reportedly the same woman who went viral earlier in the week for telling supermarket staff to remove their face masks, appeared to congratulate her, saying “well done”.

Well done is right. But naturally, a horde of cowardly Karens came out of the woodwork online to wildly flap their arms and skreeee!! in hysterical condemnation of the righteous babe’s perfect improvisational flipping of the freedom bird at the panic-ninnies. This one cops the award for Most Obtuse:

“We have a serious virus and (she thinks) a G-string will save her. Come on grow up. What must your family think?”

Might want to have a wee gander at the box your own precious little face-diaper came in, Einstein. Chances are it looks something like this:

IneffectiveMask.jpg

Ooops. No prize this time, you quaking lackwit, but thanks for playing our game anyway. A tip of the cap and a big, fat CF kiss a-blown to the sassy lassie who so cheekily gave us all a real-world demonstration of the USMC’s “adapt and overcome” motto, bless her clever self. If she hasn’t already auctioned the thong off on eBay for substantial remuneration, I hope like hell she does.

A Biden two-fer

Jeez O Pete, what the hell is WITH these degenerates, anyway?

EXCLUSIVE: Hunter Biden was living with his brother Beau’s widow Hallie while sending raunchy texts and FaceTiming in the shower with her married SISTER as they declared their love and she called him her ‘prince’

Hunter Biden had a controversial affair with his brother Beau’s grieving widow Hallie, while exchanging raunchy texts, ‘partying’, and even renting a house with her sister, DailyMail.com can exclusively reveal.

Hallie Biden’s older sister, Elizabeth Secundy, who was recently separated from her husband of 15 years, referred to Hunter as her ‘prince’ and told him she loved him, in a series of text messages dating back to 2016.

The pair’s relationship was revealed in files and emails recovered from Hunter’s laptop – the contents of which became public last year after it was abandoned at a Delaware computer shop.

While Hunter has promised to reveal details of his personal life and struggles with alcohol and drugs in his upcoming memoir, Beautiful Things, it is unclear whether Hunter has included details of his relationship with Secundy.

The embattled father-of-five, now 51, split with his first wife Kathleen in 2015. When his brother Beau died of brain cancer that year, he became close to his grieving sister-in-law.

He and Hallie became a couple in 2016, according to an interview Hunter gave to the New Yorker two years ago.

According to Ace, that’s revealed to be a damnable lie a few paragraphs on down, but as this article was even more disgusting than the one I complained about below I didn’t finish it either. Regardless, in light of their amorality; their shameless self-indulgence; and a complete inability to rein in their warped and self-destructive sexual gluttony, it’s all too apparent that there’s something profoundly haywire in America’s professional-politician class. With few exceptions, these irredeemable rotters are without question the lowest-order scoundrels in all existence. No decent, sensible person would trust them to be left alone with the family dog for five minutes.

Yet they’re running the goddamned country. Even so, as disgusting as these people are, it comes as no big surprise. Perhaps ubiquity has reduced this stuff to mere routine, stripping Ruling Class japery of its ability to shock. None but an American ProPol or his witless, pampered spawn could be so predictable, so insipid, so flavorless and banal as to be capable of making sin, sleaze, and sexual transgression seem uninteresting.

This next one, on the other hand, I absolutely LOVE.

SWABBED: Chinese Government Anally Swabs U.S. Diplomats, Biden’s State Department Begs Them To Stop

The Chinese government forcibly anally swabbed U.S. diplomatic officials as part of the Chinese Communist Party’s new Covid testing protocols “in error,” prompting Joe Biden’s U.S. State Department to  beg China to stop violating the “dignity” of Biden officials.
VICE and the Washington Post were among the first outlets to report the story, in which China originally promised to stop anally swabbing State Department officials after complaints from the Biden administration, but has now reversed course and denied forcibly applying the test in the first place.

“The State Department never agreed to this kind of testing and protested directly to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs when we learned that some staff were subject to it,” a spokesperson from Biden’s State Department reported to VICE on Wednesday.

In the Vice story, an Aussie visiting in China who was subjected to the (literal) rumpswab described it as feeling “like having diarrhea.” But if this video of Chinese testees duckwalking gingerly, all hunched over and in obvious pain, right after having this new, improved Anal Intruder™ FauxVid19 test inflicted on ’em is any indication, it feels a whole heck of a lot worse than just that.


Hell yeah, all Bai-Ding junta officials and appointees should be forced to get ’em, I say. On the regular. Six days a week, and twice on Sundays.

Taken together, this all counts as proof positive that both our domestic masters and the ChiComs who own them alike are all just laughing themselves sick at this point, in incredulous amazement at the degree of abuse the American serf class will passively submit to. After “temporary” lockdowns; mask mandates; the ruination of entire industries; travel restrictions; the closing of churches; curfews; &c &c &c, they’re probably stumped for ideas on what outrage might be tried on us next.

Below the fold, an actual photo of one of these butt-buster “testing” swabs, which is no way no how safe for work. Or for children. Or the elderly. Or the faint of heart. Probably best not to click on the thing at all, actually. Seriously, don’t do it. Really, now.

Okay then, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

Continue reading “A Biden two-fer”

A real no-shitter

BCE uncovers the devil lurking in the details about Peelousi’s desk-ridin’ General Bigtalk.

That’s the H.M.N.I.C now.. (Head Motherfuckin’ Nigger In Charge) of ‘investigating’ the January 6th Shenanigans.
There has never been a more self-loathing Black Man in uniform.
Uncle Tom indeed
He was the one who was in charge of the fucked uppedness of the Katrina Response.
He was the one who didn’t do shit during the Global War on Terror
He’s the one who’s consistently been a partisan hack and anti-gun and outright anti-American across the board.
Fucker only has jump wings and a fucking EIB (Expert Infantry Badge) and as a General, I’d even call that into question as I can’t see a grader on an EIB course telling a General or any other occisfer under the rank of Major that he failed out.
I fucking have the EIB for fucks sakes.

All fine and well, Expat. But why don’t you just go ahead and tell us all what you really think about this Paper(cut) Warrior? Please feel free to not mince any words.

This partisan fuck?
Fuck him. Piece of shit rear echelon motherfucker… REMF for short.
Fucker was responsible for anti-constitutional calls for gun confiscation in New Orleans during Katrina, and never paid the price, which should have been castration, followed by public hanging

But

Unfortunately, we don’t hang obsolete non-functional farm equipment

Pity That.

Heh. Okay, duly noted. And endorsed. I look forward to the day this affirmative-action promotee unleashes a couple-three regiments from the US Army’s renowned 113th Transgender Division. Here’s a photo of a few of these dreaded war-pigs marching off to war:

My GOD, but this is one fucked-up country.

Shameless suckup smackdown

When we need ya, we’ll call ya, double-dealing bitch.

According to a new report, neoconservative anti-Trumper Nikki Haley reached out to former President Trump on Wednesday to request a sit-down at Mar-a-Lago — but he shot her down.

The opportunist Haley, who has been described by some as “the right’s Hillary Clinton,” trashed President Trump prior to Joe Biden’s inauguration.

According to Politico’s Playbook, “Haley reached out to former President Donald Trump on Wednesday to request a sit-down at Mar-a-Lago, but a source familiar tells Playbook that he turned her down. The two haven’t spoken since the insurrection on Jan. 6, when Haley blasted Trump for inciting his supporters to storm the Capitol.”

Haley’s presidential ambitions have been clear for some time, but supporters of President Trump have already been promoting a “Never Haley” movement on the right. It is clear that she represents the neoconservative GOP of the past, while voters prefer the America First vision of Trump.

I think it’s so sweet how the author seems to think that The Power cares even a little bit about what voters might or might not prefer, as if the consent of the governed was still a thing.

CANCELLED!

Right back atcha, assholes.


Any similarity to the numerous recent calls from tolerant, compassionate Lefty diaper-stains for “reeducation” of Trump supporters and their children is purely intentional, and funny as hell. A small, nearly meaningless gesture, perhaps; I can’t imagine that there could be more than the tiniest handful of Biden-Harris voters willing to share the same zip code with a functional firearm, much less looking to buy ammo for one. But who cares, you gotta love it anyway.

No matter who you voted for last November, you’re probably going to be looking high and low to get ahold of any ammunition for the foreseeable future. Everyone I’ve spoken with in the firearms industry expects that demand will remain high for at least the next few months, and with Biden set to move on his gun ban plans in the next few weeks according to press secretary Jen Psaki, I think we’re going to see another surge in interest on the part of Americans; both current gun owners and those prodded off the fence by the Democrats’ attempt to curb their Second Amendment rights.

As for those gun owners, new and old, who cast their vote for Joe Biden; they may have had very good reasons in their mind, but they’re going to be living with the consequences when it comes to being able to protect themselves and their families.

As they damned well should be. After marauding bands of mostly-peaceful home-invaders have stripped them of all their worldly possessions, then set the house afire as they depart the ruins, let Bidentards one and all be roasted to a crispity, crackly crunch for all I care—trapped inside and doomed, unable to escape their grisly fate for want of any effective means of self-defense.

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