GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

I don’t think this is quite what GEN McAuliffe meant by “Nuts!”

Having mentioned a certain deranged lunatic in tonight’s Eyrie outing, I figure one good dementoid spazz-out deserves another. Enjoy, folks.


So very much I could say about this howlingly funny Manwoman and his extravagantly-overwrought caricature of how he thinks a real woman conducts herself, but somehow I shall restrain myself.

True colors

Christopher Wray is a scheming, despicable liar, one of Trump’s very worst appointments.


As Ace helpfully points out, Wray’s politically-calculated hairsplitting—bullet, shrapnel, who gives a drippy shit? Ask any combat vet whether jagged, high-velocity shards of glowing-hot steel can kill a man just as dead as any bullet*—moved the fever-swamp Left to joyously jump all over that immaterial speculative fiction, as Wray doubtless knew it would do, and are now having their usual loony-toony field day with it.

The left desperately, desperately wants to steal valor from Trump and claim AKSHUALLY he wasn’t shot, just hit by “shrapnel.”

They think this is a big win for them.

CNN’s freak-a-deak leftist “National Security Analyst” seized on the conspiracy chum:

Juliette Kayyem @juliettekayyem

I’ve waited a while to say this but the burden is now on Trump to show he was shot. I can condemn the assassination and still demand truth, especially since Trump is now politicizing taking a bullet. Wray has now opened the door; this is not a conspiracy theory. Wray, known for exact phrasing and being careful, didn’t say this on accident. He is begging us to ask.

Indeed, this vile monster is begging the left to pick up the crumbs he just left them.

A-yup. In light of which sick-making asshattery I can only repeat: Kill them. Kill. Them. ALLYes, I mean it. No, I’m not kidding.

As every Real American ought to know full well by now, noisome shitlib excrescences are plainly and simply unfit to live amongst decent, civilized human beings. They will never cease laboring arduously, single-mindedly, to bring the once-grand American house crashing down—encompassing not just our everlasting ruination but also their own, the witless chowderheads. The longer we go on tolerating them, the more likely they are to accomplish their mad societal-demolition mission, a long-term deconstruction project already far too near its final completion for any sane soul’s ease.

Meanwhile, Normals have blandly accepted an unending torrent of inanity, obnoxiousness, and withering contumely from the Left with little objection and absolutely no retaliation, suffering these among other insults as if they were no more than their due, presumably in just punishment for an extended, open-ended litany of vaguely-defined “crimes” starting with blasphemy most heinous against the sacred Wokester catechism. In reply to Normals’ ill-advised conciliation, Leftards have moderated their extremism, attenuated their innate aggressiveness, remitted their penchant for violence and destruction, and/or tempered their fanatical hatred not one jot or tittle. Not so’s anybody would notice they haven’t, which amounts to the same big, fat sack o’ nothing at the end of the day.

As has been predictable with overindulged brats throughout history, so it is with juvenile Leftards today. Tragically, Normals made the mistake of disregarding the Biblical injunction against sparing the rod, thus hath the child been spoiled beyond possibility of salvage. Time and past time, then, to throw out the rotten fruits and vegetables and give the storage bin a thorough scrubbing using bleach and a stiff-bristle brush, before our national home is infested by a plague of rats and the whole gorram neighborhood winds up stinking worse than a malfunctioning sewage treatment facility in summertime.

* PRO TIP: There’s a reason the external casing of hand grenades, land mines, bombs, battle-tank main gun rounds, and artillery projectiles are designed to produce wicked clouds of shrapnel (more precisely, fragments) in the first fucking place, stupid shitlib mouthbreathers, and it’s a very good one at that

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Best. Scam. EVAR

A warning from Lakeside Joe.

This may well be the greatest scam of the year – it even happened to me. Two pretty hot looking blonde Russian babes come over to your truck while you are getting the boat out of the water. Without saying a word, they both start cleaning your boat with sponge and soapy water, with their broobs almost falling out of their skimpy dresses. It’s impossible not to check ’em out.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say no thanks and instead ask you for a ride to the 24 hour Racetrack a couple of miles down the road so they can get smokes and a cold drink. You agree and they get in the backseat.

Then on the way, they pull their dresses down, then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet, so tell your boaty buddies to be careful. I had my wallet stolen July 4th, 9th, twice on the 15th, and then again yesterday morning. 

Oh – juss’ so ya know, Walmart sells wallets for only $7.00. Juss’ sayin’…

Pay heed, boat enthusiasts, and don’t get stung like poor Joe did. Unless, y’know, the opportunity should present itself. Further advice: Buy stock in WalMart, or any other place that sells wallets El Cheapo.

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Presidential visit

Whaddya whaddya, the Trump Train has come to town.

Live updates: Trump rally at Bojangles Coliseum hears from Republican candidates, RNC chair
Crowds began arriving at Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte hours before former President Donald Trump’s planned 6 p.m. campaign speech.

Doors opened for the event at 2 p.m. and Trump is scheduled to speak at 6 p.m.

Here are live updates from the scene:
5:30 p.m.

Trump’s plane landed in Charlotte just before 5:30 p.m., 30 minutes before he was scheduled to speak. Traffic surrounding Charlotte’s uptown has been at a standstill for hours.

That’s the most recent update as of right this minute. At 2:10P, Coliseum* officials announced that all designated event parking-lots were full. Photos of the crowd accompanying the CLT Disturber (a/k/a the Pravda Of The South) article are pretty danged impressive, I must say. Strangely, the Disturber having always been a staunch, dyed-in-the-wool shitlib propaganda rag, Red in tooth and claw, I see no mention whatever of the sundry Loony Left protesters outside the Coliseum, and I know for a certainty there are some. in fact, I can think of at least three (3) good friends of mine, females all, who wouldn’t have missed it for worlds, no way no how.

Uncomfirmed reports of today’s competing Biden/Harris/Whoever campaign event in the West Mecklenburg High School gymnasium drawing a well under half-capacity “crowd”—veritably all of this cpl-three dozen consisting not of Biden/Harris/Yehyehyehyeh supporters but of journolismists, hangers-on, campaign staff, security, and a rancid grab-bag of baglappers, knob-polishers, and rumpswabs—could not be verified as of presstime.

* This would be the same arena in which I saw KISS; Aerosmith; AC/DC; Da Nooge; Foghat; Frank Marino and Mahogany Rush; REO Speedwagon; Ronnie Montrose; Styx; Van Halen; WCW’s Slamboree; the CLT Checkers hockey team; Ringling Bros & Barnum & Bailey Circus; and many, many other notable events over my years as a callow youth. Jimi Hendrix opened for the Monkees and was booed off the stage there; I know a woman who attended that show, taken by her mom as a youngster, but it was well before my time, alas. Elvis Presley played there lots of times, including one of his very last shows only a few months before his sad demise. Local folks of my advanced years or older still call it “the old Coliseum” for simplicity’s sake, seeing as how the place changed names several times after the new ‘un had relegated it to second-class-citizen status, enough that the name-changes became something of a running joke. IIRC, the official capacity for most events is a bit over 18k, up to as much as 22k max depending on stage/seating/PA arrangements, advance ticket sales or lack thereof, etc. The acoustics are dreadful, the seating cramped and uncomfortable, the floor gummy with spilled beer, soda, and other such-like horrors

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Memezapoppin’!

Welcome to this week’s installment of our Wednesday meme feature, folks. Links to the “found via” sources will be attached to the specific MiQ’s (Memes in Question) whenever I can remember them, which likely won’t be very often. Only the first two memes will appear above the fold to save on bandwidth usage, since I assume not everybody who shows up at this here websty will want to see all of them. This intro will appear at the top of each week’s Memezapoppin’! post. Enjoy, funny-pitcher lovers.

SIDE NOTE: Any CF Lifer who knows what the hell those little gold-colored flibbertigibbets are in the second meme below, fourth image from the top, you are hereby cordially invited to let me know in the comments. Salt ’n’ pepper shakers? Odd chess pieces? Fried drumsticks from a mutant chicken? Fancy-ass custom stickshift knobs? ‘Cause I freely admit, I have no friggin’ idear.

Continue reading Memezapoppin’!

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Elon explainer

Well, this is certainly…my GOD man, I just can’t even begin to…that is to say, it’s…I mean, like, WOW, brother, that is some heavy-duty…uhhh…ummm…uhhhhhhh

Elon Musk says trans child was figuratively ‘killed by the woke mind virus,’ vows to destroy it: ‘My son is dead’
Tesla CEO Elon Musk believes his estranged transgender child was “killed by the woke mind virus” after he was tricked into giving his consent for puberty blockers.

The 53-year-old billionaire vowed to “destroy” the “incredibly evil” culture that allows the gender reassignment surgery that his 20-year-old child Vivian Jenna Wilson, who was born Xavier, got in 2022.

“I was essentially tricked into signing documents for one of my older boys, Xavier,” the X owner told psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson in a Daily Wire interview.

“This is before I had any understanding of what was going on. COVID was going on, so there was a lot of confusion and I was told Xavier might commit suicide if he doesn’t…”

Peterson suggested it “was a lie right from the outset” because there was no clinical evidence to support the claim.

“It’s incredibly evil, and I agree with you that the people that have been promoting this should go to prison,” Musk stated firmly.

Musk said it was never explained to him that the puberty blockers were “actually just sterilization drugs.”  

“I was tricked into doing this,” Musk said.

Jeez, what can one say? My heart goes out to ya, Mr Musk, sir, it truly does. The Evil Left—and Evil is most definitely the mot juste—has a lot to answer for, and I do mean a LOT. Another rerun of the incomparable Andrew Breitbart’s signature riposte is in order here, I do believe.

11th-hour conversion

Welcome to the party, gal.


And now, the rest of the story.

the last 6-12 months i’ve believed i was going to abstain from voting in the upcoming election because the options are equally terrible 

but watching Trump survive an assassination attempt and act like a total fucking savage just shifted me into some strange, patriotic gear that my fancy-feminism-white-men-bad infected brain never showed me 

like, the dude took a bullet and stood up with blood dripping down his face, and rallied a fucking crowd while fist pumping, yelling “FIGHT!”

sorry, but i’m voting for that. 

and saying it out loud feels so freeing 

(2012 stepfanie would be so pissed but that’s okay because 2012 stepfanie didn’t know shit)

Makes a welcome contrast with all the 2024 “stepfanies” out there who still don’t. Keep the faith, baby, and stay strong.

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But…but…but…but…

MUH SACRED DIMUHCRACEEEEE!!!


Gee, looks one HELL of a lot worse than the phonus-balonus J6 “insurrection,” don’t it? Wonder if there’ll be so much as even ONE arrest made? Never mind, don’t answer that one, please.

(Via Dave Renegade)

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Are we not entertained?

A bit alarming at first blush, perhaps, but don’t let’s anybody rush to judgment quite yet; there just might be an extenuating circumstance here, or a method to the seeming madness at any rate.

Gamechanger: Is a Trump-RFK Jr. Alliance in the Works?
The 2024 presidential election has shown us one thing: expect the unexpected. Few anticipated Joe Biden would pursue a second term, but he did. Many doubted he’d debate Donald Trump, yet he took the stage — and was a total disaster. In another unprecedented move, Biden succumbed to pressure and blackmail and dropped out of the race mere days ago.

This is certainly not the year to be making predictions because so far, it has been the most unconventional election ever.

A new report from ABC News suggests another potential twist in the 2024 presidential election: an alliance between Donald Trump and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

According to multiple sources who spoke with ABC News, Trump and Kennedy have had several discussions over the past few days, including an in-person meeting in Milwaukee during the Republican National Convention. During these talks, the two presidential candidates reportedly discussed potential roles for Kennedy in a future Trump administration.

Two sources familiar with the discussions say that Kennedy could potentially be offered the opportunity to oversee the Health and Human Services Department in a second Trump administration.

HHS, eh? Aiight then, just keep the guy away from the EPA and I’m good with it, I do believe.

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Another one bites the dust

I must admit, I’d like it a lot better if one of ours had shot his sorry ass, pour encourager les autres. But what the hell, any dead violent Leftist is a good violent Leftist, so we takes what we gets.

Suspect, 22, who allegedly ran over Mich. Trump supporter, 80, with ATV kills himself: report
A Michigan man suspected of running down an 80-year-old with an ATV in a politically motivated attack has been found dead by apparent suicide, according to reports.

The 22-year-old suspect was found in his home with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound on Monday, after having called police looking to confess, according to WLUC.

“Send someone to pick me up,” the unidentified suspect told cops, who responded to his Quincy home and found him dead.

The suspect had accosted the elderly man as he placed pro-Donald Trump signs in his yard, initially ripping them up while speeding by on the ATV.

When the victim tried to put the signs back, the suspect ran him down with the ATV and fled.

Prior to the vicious attack, the suspect was seen smashing car windows and slashing tires.

Now, there will assuredly be those who will think it just too, too horrid of me not to mourn the “tragic” loss of this vicious, clearly disturbed Lefty goblin. Hate it for ‘em, I really do, but far as I’m concerned his death is cause for celebration, not sorrow—him, and all others like him.

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On to the weighty matters!

Having said I would hold off on posting anything on the ongoing DC soap opera until tonight to let things shake out and settle down to at least some degree, I realize now as I should’ve all along that things are about as settled down and shaken out as they’re ever going to be, even can be, ackshully. That being the case, let’s talk about something of genuine interest and import, shall we?

The spectacular rise and surprising staying power of the George Foreman Grill
The grill made its debut 30 years ago. Tons of people still buy them

Leon Dreimann still remembers the flashing red lights.

He was at the QVC Studios in Pennsylvania watching his business partner George Foreman chat with two co-hosts during a TV spot for Foreman’s namesake grill. The pair got carried away in their conversation and forgot about the heavyweight prizefighter standing with them. Foreman improvised, grabbing a burger fresh off the grill, placing it between two buns, and taking a bite on live TV.

Suddenly, the phone lines were overrun with callers. QVC shifted into emergency mode.

“Literally, a red siren light starts blaring in every corridor,” says Dreimann, then the CEO of Salton, Inc., the exclusive seller of the Foreman Grill.

Workers at the QVC Studios called it “going red.” Dreimann says he looked on as janitors, accountants, and warehouse workers stopped what they were doing and grabbed the nearest phone, taking sales calls to assist the overwhelmed operators — the fervor induced entirely by the boxer’s snap decision to eat a hamburger.

Such was the allure of Foreman and the George Foreman Grill during its late 90s and early 2000s heyday.

This year marks the 30-year anniversary of the grill, officially known as the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine. After a slow start, it became an indelible part of ‘90s consumer culture and the world’s most popular product for cooking hamburgers, hot dogs, salmon, and just about everything else (Oprah Winfrey preferred it for bacon).

Lots, lots more to the story, and as any reasonable person would imagine it’s some truly gripping stuff. Don’t make me say it, just go on and do it already; I promise you won’t regret it. I mean come ON, man, it’s George Foreman we’re talking about here! And fer Christ’s sweet sake, who doesn’t love GEORGE?!?

(Via MisHum)

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Bread and circuses

The sudden, complete collapse of the Xombie Jaux “Walks Among Us” Bribem figurehead government continues apace, at speed and under its own power, even as the small snowball atop a Matterhorn peak proceeds downhill to gather into a mighty avalanche. So rapidly are new jaw-slackening developments breaking, being strenuously objected to by hapless junta flacks, then dejectedly confirmed—all of this met with total silence from the putative ***”pResident”*** himself, mind, who has been neither seen nor heard from since July 17th—I’m thinking I’m gonna hold my peace until tomorrow evening, in hopes that at least some of the dust will have settled by then. In the meantime, I’ll drop a small hint as to which way my own thoughts are trending, thusly:

Some of y’all may remember that I no more than half-jokingly predicted the “Our beloved president Biden has died from the deadly CoVid scourge, oh woe are we!” kabuki ploy well over a year ago, followed by a mandatory six months of national mourning. Funny, innit, how that looks to be exactly, precisely how things are currently shaping up. Although I’m not quite prepared to proclaim my premonition 100% accurate and take a few “told ya so” victory laps just yet, I’m fairly confident it will soon prove to have been.

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The Daily Donnybrook, and other fine things

Welcome to Ye Olde Colde Furye Blogge’s shiny new open-comments thread, where y’all can have at it as you wish, on any topic you like. Do note that the official CF comments policy remains in effect here, as enumerated in the left sidebar. All new posts will appear below this one. There will be blood…

Mike @Substack


New Eyrie posts go up every Monday and Friday, although the time of day may (and most likely will) vary. Mike’s latest Eyrie offering is available for perusal here: Fascism.

Please do consider subscribing to The Eyrie, gang; subscribers receive email notification whenever each new post goes live. All Eyrie articles are getatable (yes, that’s really a word—trust me!) for one and all to read and enjoy totally free of charge, regardless of subscription status. However, a paid sub is required to unlock commenting privileges—an almighty incentive to kick loose and chip in if ever there was one. Thanks!

Bye bye Biden

Guess we won’t have one senile liar, career con artist, and election fraudster to kick around anymore. El Gato Malo takes a deeper look into it, and it’s hella ugly, sinister, and just downright scary stuff.

it got so ugly that something had to give. and finally, it did.

pretending that brainwiped brandon has been remotely compos mentis for the last 4 years now came with a terrible price.

even the left finally woke up to “we have no idea who is running the country.” there has not been a full cabinet meeting in nearly a year. every day kamala went without calling one on an emergency basis to invoke the 25th amendment just made this worse and her more culpable. but she was never going to do it.

sure, she might have become president and heir apparent, but she would not survive the convention if she did. they’d have axed her. she needed the nod from joe.

now she gets the endorsement and fails upward again by doing what she has always done: playing the loyal soldier.

and there was really no other choice. only she could get joe’s campaign funds.

this jar has SO many interesting bugs in it.

the fight from being shaken would (and may still be) be one for the ages.

and the DNC leadership is rightly terrified of that.

president puppetshow is bitter, angry, and while there may be some appearance of the wheel spinning, the hamster is long dead. he has felt disrespected by the party his whole career and this is just a capstone. he did not want to work with them. i suspect he’d have burned the world before eating this kind of crow. his comments on leaked calls about “name a better president in US history than me! name one!” speak to motive and delusion.

i suspect he’s not going out willingly.

i suspect there was serious arm twisting and threat here to legacy and to the ongoing protection of his family from lawfare and prosecution.

i suspect they got to his family and showed them what was in store for them if they did not take away grandpa’s keys.

it’s hard not to see this whole tawdry affair as a serious crisis for america as a constitutional republic. we’ve been flirting with it for years. our system is, to many extents, an honor system meant to be inhabited by honorable people. when it is not, this is what you get.

it makes me wonder if the deeper lessons here can be internalized (by both sides):

if the result of an election can be framed as “existential threat to democracy/the republic/america/the american way of life” then what does that tell us about the office being contested?

nothing should have that power. no person, position, or tribe. the US presidency has become horrifically imperial and the federalist nature of our system destroyed by the 17th amendment.

That last is a contention that I, along with most of you CF Lifers out there, have been making for many years now; taken along with the end-to-end corruption and manfactured rot of the government school system, the near-total success of the Left’s long-term plan is not to be wondered at.

That notwithstanding, one question remains, namely: is there any way FederalGovCo Humpty Dumpty can be properly put back together again, even if only in part, and made to function in the manner the Constitution insists any legitimate government should—nay, MUST? Unlike all the King’s horses and all the King’s men, Le Mal Félin has a few ideas on that, the implementation of which is every bit as essential as the long, bitter struggle to get it done is unpleasant to contemplate.

it is not biden or trump or kamala that america cannot survive, it is the nature of the modern presidency and executive branch that poses the clear and present danger and it is that office that we must pull down.

in that respect, braindead brandon may be just the leader we need: the perfect exemplar of how irretrievably broken and shameful our once august republic has become. so bring on the breakage. let’s drag it all out into the light until we can see the whole noxious carcass of leviathan that has so wrapped itself around the roots of our liberty.

it has become more than self evident that this government has become destructive to the ends of we the people. it cannot be fixed, it must be excised.

whole agencies: gone.

whole prerogatives: rolled back and repudiated.

at long last, we have been getting some help from the courts here.

it’s time to lean in and push it all off the table, to strive once more for a state that protects our striving rather than seeking to shackle us to its own.

rights, not regulation.

the freedom to pursue happiness, not the obligation to kowtow to some contrived notion of the collective weal.

because this too we hold to be self evident:

and we’re tired of pretending it’s not.

Indeed so—as we damned well ought to be. Plenty more left still at the link, wherein the witty cleverness of the writing manages to overcome the depressing subject matter to make for some seriously entertaining reading.

So long, Crooked Jaux. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Here’s hoping the misery and humiliation of his unlawful WH tenure lingers for however many weeks/days/hours the depraved old fraud has left to live. Assuming, of course, that the Deep State-induced bout of “CoVid” hasn’t already killed him by now.

Update! Howie Carr, as is his wont, really lets ‘er rip.

The. Worst. President. Ever.

When do you think they’ll let Dementia Joe know that he’s officially dropped out?

Who could have ever imagined that Biden would be dumped before Bob Menendez?

The Deep State has been telling us for four years about those 81 million ballots, er votes, that he got. But now his own comrades throw him under the bus like he’s…Andrew Cuomo or Sam Brinton.

For once, Obama was right: “Never underestimate Joe’s ability to bleep things up.”

It’s hard to know who’s going to need grief counselors more: the mullahs in Tehran, the greed-crazed oligarchs in Ukraine, or the Red Chinese butchers.

Quick, someone grab KJP’s belt and shoelaces. She’s going the way of Claudine Gay, for sure.

National Panhandler Radio has begun playing an endless loop of the Funeral March, like Radio Moscow when Joe Stalin stopped breathing in 1953. It’s what the apparatchiks do.

The biggest difference between Jimmy Carter and Joe Biden was that Carter was at least trying to do the right thing by the United States of America.

Everything Biden’s handlers conspired to accomplish was designed to subvert not just American society, but western civilization in general.

And they were hellishly good at it, too. As I’ve long maintained, don’t ever call Xombie Jaux “Walks Among Us” Bribem, “his” policy initiatives, or the ruling junta itself a failure. On the contrary, they have enjoyed one smashing success after another, the thing to remember being that THEIR idea of what constitutes success is the exact opposite of OURS. On every count, including but certainly not limited to:

  • Crippling inflation
  • Non-existent borders
  • Lawless, marauding ghetto ferals
  • Out of control FederalGovCo spending
  • Civil unrest, disorder, anarchy
  • Wokester-infested organizations, institutions, businesses
  • “Transgenderqueer” sicko supremacy
  • Rigged, unreliable, not even remotely trustable national “elections”
  • Affirmative Action Systemic discrimination
  • High school graduates who can’t read or write; diploma-mill college grads who can’t think for themselves; teachers who can’t teach; educators with neither interest in nor intention of actually educating anyone
  • The ongoing decline, despoliation, and/or ruinous collapse of Christianity; White birthrates; the traditional nuclear family; the US military; Western Civ entire

Biden’s behind-the-curtains puppeteers have achieved practically every one of their actual but hidden goals.

Failure? If only. Worst ***”pResident”*** ever? Absolutely—not for the Left, but for US, and for America That Was.

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Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
Bill Whittle

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