Category: Cry Me A River

The bitter, beautiful tears of liberal brats

GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Pick us another winner, Donald

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It appears that he has, actually.

BOOMITY! Donald Trump Names Harmeet Dhillon As Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights
With a few notable exceptions, the vast majority of Donald Trump’s nominees for his second administration have been home runs with conservatives.

Yesterday, however, Trump announced another pick that may have had his voters cheering the loudest of all.

Can’t honestly say I know a heck of a lot about the lady, but from the way the Leftard sob-sisters are carrying on about her (more on that at the link, and it’s hilarious), she sounds pretty damned good to me. Trump runs down just a few of her finer qualities, to wit:

I repeat: sounds pretty good to me.

Is there really no end to these assholes?

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As the proctologist once asked his assistant. A: apparently, there is not.

Mass arrests at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade as anti-Israel protesters block procession
They’re parading straight into custody.

Anti-Israel protesters tried to ruin the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade for the second year running Thursday, with cops quickly swarming in to gobble up roughly 25 arrests.

The firebrands entered the parade route at West 55th Street and Fifth Avenue, stopping the Ronald McDonald balloon in its tracks around 9:25 a.m., police said — and drawing loud jeers from parade-goers screaming at the killjoys to move.

Photos showed protesters sitting in the parade’s path, with some unfurling a large banner that read: “Don’t celebrate genocide!”

“Get the hell out of here,” a parade-goer yelled amid a chorus of boos from the crowd, which seemed more interested in the Bluey balloon’s arrival than the plight of Palestinians in Gaza.

Cops cuffed about 25 protesters “without incident” and hauled them away to face pending charges, police said – but the arrests appeared more violent than the NYPD’s account.

Good, damned glad to hear it. Although however roughly they may have handled these asswipes, it still wasn’t rough enough to suit me, I’ll warrant. That would be unpossible.

”This is disgusting,” said a Brooklyn cop. “There are times and places to peacefully protest, but not the Thanksgiving day parade. This a day for families to enjoy and not be interrupted by these a–holes.”

A-fargin’-MEN, Offissa Pup. Please don’t spare the Asp, pepper spray, and/or nightstick enemas on my account, sir. Normally, excessive force ain’t something I’m in favor of, but I’m entirely willing to make an exception for these cretinous cocksuckers.

Update! OMB puts the boot in. Related? Oh, you just bet your sweet bippy it’s related.


Traditional “Show more” end-run:

Happy Thanksgiving to all, including to the Radical Left Lunatics who have worked so hard to destroy our Country, but who have miserably failed, and will always fail, because their ideas and policies are so hopelessly bad that the great people of our Nation just gave a landslide victory to those who want to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Don’t worry, our Country will soon be respected, productive, fair, and strong, and you will be, more than ever before, proud to be an American!

Well said, Mr President sir, I hope and expect you’re right about all that.

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That which doesn’t kill me

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Makes me stronger.

I ate like Trump for a week. I don’t understand how the man is still alive
It was a picture that revealed more than just Donald Trump’s inner circle. Following the jubilation of the US election, the grinning president-elect was pictured on board Trump Force One tucking into a McDonald’s with Elon Musk and Robert F Kennedy Jr. Donald Trump Jr, seated to his right, would later joke that Mr Kennedy Jr’s mission to “make America healthy again” would have to wait until “tomorrow”. Mr Trump’s penchant for fast food was once again in the spotlight. But what does his diet consist of?

Breakfast – nothing. Lunch – nothing. Dinner – a McDonald’s, KFC, pizza or a well-done steak. Twelve Diet Cokes a day, and snacking on Doritos. The man appointed to become his own health secretary, RFK Jr, described what Trump eats as “poison”.

“His diet is exceptionally poor,” agrees Telegraph nutritionist Sam Rice. “It’s unbalanced, with far too many ultra-processed foods, too much saturated fat from red and processed meat, simple carbohydrates that can cause sugar spikes and lead to insulin resistance. It’s also low in fibre and gut-friendly plant foods. The copious amount of Diet Coke he drinks, which contains the artificial sweetener aspartame – identified as a possible carcinogen by the World Health Organisation – makes his diet a nutritional nightmare.”

The sissy-mary went on the Trump diet for a week, and says it damned near kilt him. Me, I’m with Al Bundy.

It’s always made me tired, how so many Righty bloggers want to whimper and whine about how godawful McDonalds is, as if the mere thought of eating a Big Mac suddenly transmogrifies them into the Leftards their bitching makes them sound so much like. Is McDonalds the best burger ever? Of course not. But will a Quarter Pounder or McDouble do when you’re in a rush, are hungry, and there just happens to be a Mickey Ds drive-thru on your way to wherever you have to be shortly? Of course it will.

Leave the sniffy, über-sanctimonious disdain for the corporate grab ’n’ grub fare to the shitlibs, sayeth I; they’ll always be better at it anyway, having had so much more practice. You can definitely be sure that finding common ground with you over the appalling toxicity of junk food isn’t going to make them hate you any less.

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Winding the Horn of Jericho

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The shitlib retaining walls are cracking, creaking, and crumbling. It’s a joy and a wonder to behold.

This is why we’re so divided
The publishing industry isn’t exactly one that donated a lot of money to Donald Trump. They lean incredibly leftist and it colors just about everything they do. It’s part of why so much fiction today is absolute crap.

Admittedly, there’s enough blame to go around on that point, but it doesn’t help.

Yet the results of the election earlier this month make it pretty clear that most of the nation supported Donald Trump despite years of people like the publishing industry trying to shut down the man.

Hachette Book Group, though, seems to have understood what was going on. They announced a new imprint that would focus on conservative writers called Basic Liberty.

And, of course, the usual suspects are losing their minds.

But HBG has an opportunity here. If all these folks are leaving because the company is no longer kowtowing to the most obsessive and oppressive people on the planet, then they can hire people who understand that people from all walks of life actually read..or at least would if anything was appealing to them in the bookstore.

Since there are apparently openings, fill them with people who don’t see their jobs as the opportunity to advance their politics but as an opportunity to advance the joy of reading and sharing knowledge with the entire world.

In the meantime, I have no sympathy for these people.

These are the same people who have hounded literally anyone who dares disagree with them on anything for years.

They should get used to disappointment.

In the process, though, we should remember that people like this are why we’re so divided as a nation. While the right can’t help but see what the left thinks via their virtual monopoly on things like book publishing, as well as other aspects of the information and entertainment media, they haven’t a clue what anyone on this side of the fence thinks.

What’s happening at HBG is just a microcosm of what we’ve seen elsewhere. The primary difference is that these folks don’t have the power they think they do, apparently, which is just going to make them worse.

Disagree, if only slightly. Particularly when it comes to cultural institutions such as the entertainment/media/creative arts megalith, the Goosesteppin’ Left has practically ALL the power, and despite the recent spastic orgy of frothing hysteria, lip-quivering, head-shaving, juvenile hissy fit-pitching, and public dementia, they still do.

No, the primary difference is that now, for the first time in at least six (6) decades if not longer, Real Americans have at long last r’ared up on their hind legs, wheeled on their tormenters, snarling and with fangs bared, and begun to fight back against the rotten bastards—and lo, they have learned 1) that they are in fact strong, much stronger than they knew; 2) that by fighting back they can in fact prevail; 3) that, provided We The People set our hearts, our minds, our spirits, and our bodies to it, the Dismal Tide in fact CAN be turned; and 4) that making worthless, contemptible shitlib brats weep and wail like little Suzie Schoolgirl after she’s fallen into a mudhole wearing her newest, prettiest dress is in fact an extraordinarily easy thing to do. Supremely gratifying too, as an added bonus.

In defiance of all odds, appearances, and expectations, #4 very well may wind up being the most important, the most appurtenant, and the most effectual in both tactical AND strategic terms of them all. Whither, then, the visionary so gifted, so prodigiously farsighted, as to permit him to foretell such an unlikely turn of events: that, after numberless years spent placidly accepting that the metaphorical Brass Ring was and would forever remain well beyond the Real American grasp—an immutable Fact Of Life, in essence—the bleedin’ thing might in actuality turn out to be no more difficult to lay hands on than the TeeWee remote control device lying atop the cheap, ugly, bandy-legged old Rooms 2 Go coffee table a mere hand’s breadth distant from his slipper-shod feet, eh?

And so we arrive yet again at the inescapable conclusion: If you fight them, you may win. Then again, you may NOT. There is but one certainty, which affords no comfort whatever, cold or otherwise. To wit: If for whatever reason you DON’T fight them, you must surely LOSE. As has been said many times, in many places: the Goosesteppin’ Left is like the Terminator; you can’t reason with him, negotiate with him, or bargain with him. He’ll never compromise; he can’t be injured, he doesn’t bleed, bruise, or feel pain. He never tires, never sleeps, never takes a break. He is relentless, he is ruthless, he will never show mercy or regret. He just keeps right on coming at you, again and again and again, until one of you is DEAD.

OBLIGATORY MEA CULPA: No, the above passage is not an exact word-for-word excerpt of dialogue culled from the Terminator script, nor did I intend for it to be taken as such. Rather, it’s a from-memory approximation, with a few ad-lib embellishments of my own thrown in for spice.

But still. If it doesn’t sound familiar to you at this late date, then either you 1) are an imbecilic REE-tardt, B) a shitlib your own damned self (BIRM), or IV) simply haven’t been paying attention. In any event, there’s probably no hope for you; as such, all sane, aware, and even nominally-sentient beings should shun yore pig-ign’ant ass like a fucking Plague rat.

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Grauniad EXPOSED

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John Nolte rips the lid off.

Nolte: The *Real* Reason the Far-Left Guardian Quit Xwitter
The Guardian claims it has 80 Xwitter accounts with about 27 million followers and its stated reasons for exiting are exactly what you would expect from the Frank Burns Left — dishonest, smug, superior, scolding…

I’ll allow the Guardian to have its full say, and then I’ll tell you the real reason why the Guardian is fleeing the arena:

The Guardian said content on the platform about which it had longstanding concerns included far-right conspiracy theories and racism. It added that the site’s coverage of the US presidential election had crystallised its decision.

“This is something we have been considering for a while given the often disturbing content promoted or found on the platform, including far-right conspiracy theories and racism,” it said.

It added: “The US presidential election campaign served only to underline what we have considered for a long time: that X is a toxic media platform and that its owner, Elon Musk, has been able to use its influence to shape political discourse.”

Yeah, no…

Take a moment to read the replies in the Guardian’s xweets. Sure, you might find some “toxicity” in there, but read the overall replies in these – three – xweets and you will see the real reason for the Guardian forfeiting its voice in the public square. If you think I’m cherry-picking xweets to make my point, choose any Guardian xweet and read the replies.

No, better yet, read the replies found in any high-profile, left-wing Xwitter account. Go to Rob Reiner, Stephen King, Jake Tapper, Elizabeth Warren, Joy Reid, the Washington Post, the New York Times, the Atlantic, NPR, etc., and you will see for yourself what I’m about to point out…

They.

Are.

Losing.

The.

Debate.

And.

They.

Can’t.

Stand.

It.

Heh. Appears so, yeah. Fuggin’ little crybaby queefs. Nice to learn we’ve settled on “Xwitter” and “Xweets” though, finally. I’ve been pretty much at sea on that minor quandary up till now, it was getting to be somewhat problematic, if only for me and nobody else. New category for posts of this nature, it looks as if I’m gonna be needing one henceforth. Check the list below and see if you can guess what it might be. A-HEHN!

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Forewarned is forearmed

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Never accept food or drink from batshit-insane Leftard shrikes. I mean, not EVER. These days, that shit could get you killed.

Liberal Cat Ladies Reveal “Battle Plan” To Poison Trump Men With Aqua Tofana
Educated white liberal women appear to have lost their goddamn minds after the presidential election. Many have posted videos of uncontrollable emotional outbursts over a Trump victory…

… with some even threatening to adopt pro-life stances as a form of retaliation against men.

Others have made what appears to be terroristic threats, suggesting at the use of strong poison against men because they voted for the evil ‘Orange Man.’

Internet searches for Aqua Tofana—a potent poison created in Sicily around 1630 by a woman named Giulia Tofana, or Tofania, and historically used by women to free themselves from relationships by killing men—spiked shortly after the election results.

X user I Meme Therefore I Am noted, “HOLY SH*T, Karens lost their fvcking minds over Trump’s win and launched MATGA—short for Make Aqua Tofana Great Again.”

Please don’t make the mistake of placidly assuming they’d never actually go through with any such heinous thing; after the many infamias we’ve seen from them already, you oughta know better than that by now. WTH Kathy Frisby spells out the bottom line.


T’is indeed, no more nor less. Although the well-known Field Officers’ Iron Law of Battle Plans has been stood on its head here. In a first-ever strategic innovation, it’s the Enemy (a/k/a, US) that won’t survive initial contact, not the Plan. In fact, in what might well be the most bizarre twist of the entire bizarre, twisted mishegoss, that actually IS the Plan. Therefore, any gormless male presently sharing a domicile with one (1) or more of these demented Lizzie Borden wannabes is hereby advised to

  • Find yourself another place to live toot fucking sweet
  • AFTER THE FACT ADDENDUM: Find yourself a better girlfriend; what the actual fuck possessed you to get tangled up with a skank-ass Leftybitch in the first place, anyways? DUDE!
  • Meanwhile, as your search for more congenial, non-toxic living quarters gets underway, move into the spare room, garage, backyard storage shed, or your car for the duration; carefully ascertain that the door is locked and/or barred securely before you hit the hay every night
  • Regardless of your domestic arrangement, it is imperative that you always, always, always make sure she falls asleep FIRST, long before you do; PRACTICAL RESOLUTION: Until you hear her snoring, your eyes must remain OPEN
  • Contra what saner sorts might wish to believe, after her weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth over one (1) election defeat has finally subsided and the house suddenly goes dead quiet and calm (HA!), it’s still definitely NOT a good time to relax your vigilance, drop your guard, or shift your focus—not to any degree; as with lions, tigers, and wolverines in the wild, unhinged broads are most to be feared when you can’t hear them coming
  • Ever have what seemed at the time like a piddling little spat with your wife/GF/shackjob/significant other, only to have her fly into mortifying paroxysms of spittle-flecked rage and re-litigate the whole silly, childish dustup—straight out of the clear blue nowhere, word for spiteful word, in minutest detail, usually in a nice, quiet restaurant after your entrees have arrived—several years after you figured all had long since been forgiven and forgotten? Yeah, you need to spend a little time poring over the lesson contained therein, buddy-ro, until you fully grok it
  • Prepare your own meals, fetch your own drinks, open your own beers; NEVER leave your plate, glass, bottle, utensils, &c unattended, even momentarily
  • Same-same for bags of chips, cheese puffs, crackers, and/or cookies; bottles/cans of soda or juice; candy bars; cartons of milk, &c; if it’s been opened or unwrapped, if its tamper-proof safety seal has been breached, do NOT touch it, much less eat and/or drink it—leave it be no matter how hungry, thirsty, or just plain old bored you might feel just then; any packaged comestible, condiment, sauce, or seasoning you open should then be either finished off, carried around with you until you have, or thrown away; no more leftovers from last night’s supper pulled out of the fridge and re-heated, however much you may enjoy them; regard all such as literally poison, because they could easily be just that; teach yourself how to cook for one, it can be something of a pain, yes, but is by no means impossible; quitcherbitching and live with it—you’re the one who decided living under the same roof as a shitlib psycho murder-bitch was a dandy idea, so just deal with it, genius
  • Whenever you’re prepping, cooking, dining, or drinking at home, whether you’re alone or She’s nearby, continually check six; let your every action, movement, and behavior be conducted with the time-tested tenets of the Combat Pilot’s Survival Maxim foremost in mind: Head on a swivel; eyes always moving, scanning, sweeping; total SA (Situational Awareness)—many a fighter-jock owes his very life, literally, to those simple words of wisdom
  • What, you mean you haven’t moved out already? Thou fool!

You have been warned, fellas; heed or bleed, you pays your money and you takes your chances. These dames ain’t playing around, so you’d best not be either.

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Psychosissies

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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your Fellow Americans.


Even if we could live peaceably side by side with them, why on earth would we WANT to? I mean, that’s what we have asylums, penitentiaries, halfway houses, and such-like for.

(Via Ace)

Update! The esteemed Chaya Raichik, a/k/a Libs Of TikTok, has more—lots and lots more, seeing as how there really seems to be no end to these loony-toony asstards.

From late-night show hosts and news anchors to the left-wing nutjobs on TikTok, no one seems to be safe from Trump Derangement Syndrome.

To further celebrate, I’ll share some of the biggest leftist meltdowns I exposed from the past week. Some were even held accountable for their extremist rhetoric!

While many of these meltdowns are absolutely hilarious, they also show a dark picture of the current state of America. The mainstream media and the liberal establishment have pushed hoax after hoax and lie after lie in an attempt to demonize Donald Trump and turn him into the image of Hitler.

Fortunately, a majority of Americans came out in support of Donald Trump this election, showing not just the country but the entire world that America isn’t tolerating woke garbage anymore.

With your support, I will continue shedding light on the radical left, exposing their propaganda for all to see. Who says we need to stop winning after the election? Let’s keep it going. Together, we will make a difference!

Bold hers, not mine, just as a small FYI. As always: You go, girl!

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They won’t learn the lesson if you don’t take ’em to school

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Schlichter nails it to the fucking floor.

We Won and We Need to Act Like It
Breathe deeply and savor the musky scent of broken leftist dreams. Mmmmmmm. Smells like freedom! Now, we must get busy pummeling our enemies. Some silly people will say that you shouldn’t kick an opponent when he’s down. That’s actually the best time to kick him.

This is no time to go wobbly. We beat the left decisively and completely. Their humiliation is complete. They thought they had us at their feet and at their mercy. They thought they could throw our avatar in jail and thereby disenfranchise and silence us. They thought they were going to be in power forever and rule over us as if we were serfs and they were feudal lords, except feudal lords were actually kind of butch and had swords and stuff and didn’t go around crying because someone used the wrong pronoun to describe them.

The leftists on the decisive platform Twitter – let’s have a big round of applause for Elon Musk and, while we’re at it, the great Scott Pressler, who may have single-handedly won this thing through his work in Pennsylvania – are also melting down. They’re very upset. This is good. But some Republicans, who are eager to return to the Elder Times, will want to console and comfort them and reassure them that it’s all going to be OK. This is so very wrong. We need to ensure that it is not going to be OK for them. We need to break their stranglehold on our culture and our government. That can’t be done gently. It has to be done ruthlessly and harshly. After they literally tried to throw Trump in jail for the rest of his life and murder him, let’s hope our rebooted president understands that.

This is not the time to be nice. This is the time to rub their faces in their defeat. Somebody’s got to win this fight. I propose it be us. When we beat the Japanese and the Germans, we did not forgive and forget. We broke them. We exacted righteous retribution. Only then did we allow them to return in a form that would no longer threaten us. Now, sadly, the Germans can’t threaten anybody, and for too long, we had to pay for their defense, but that’s going to change under Trump 2.0. As for the Democrats, they lost and now they get to experience what losing means.

They are entering the “Finding Out” phase.

Exactly, precisely so. It’s what I was trying to get across here, but Kurt says it so much better than I ever could.

As such, knuckling under to their piteous, lunatic caterwaul would severely undercut the verymost critical part of the handy-dandy FAFO formulation: the “Finding out” part. That would be an error of truly monumental proportions, one which would only guarantee that we’ll have to relive the sweaty, hideous nightmare we’ve only just emerged from far sooner than we otherwise might.

So yeah, let’s not do that, then. Let ’em scream, let ’em cry, let ’em wave their chubby little fists and wail “it’s not FAAAIIIIRRRR!” like the whinging brats they so truly are. But above all else, MAKE. THEM. PAY. Back to the esteemed COL Schlichter for our denouement.

To the victor goes the spoils. Time to collect our spoils. We won. We need to act like it. And if they aren’t crying, we aren’t trying.

Yes indeedy.

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Best juvenile tantrums EVAR!!

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Why yes, as a matter of fact I AM laughing at you childish brats losing your shit publicly for the simple, pathetic reason that you didn’t get your way. Why do you ask?

This next one might be even better yet: dumpy, unattractive cunt decides to cut off her hair so as to deny us the opportunity to desire her sexually, which none (0) of us actually do anyway.

Problem being, of course, that she’s too fucking stupid to figure out how to work the electric clippers, and finally has to resort to ordinary scissors to get the job done. Idiot.

All this sniveling psychopathy, mind, because their preferred candidate lost. You dames better find a way to toughen up, and fast. Lots more mental breakdowns both here and here, if you can stomach ’em. Personally, I find them uproariously funny, but mebbe that’s just me. I’m heartless like that sometimes, don’tchaknow.

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Sore losers, sour grapes

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Lots of hilarious, uplifting pictures of tearful shitlibs drowning in their own sweet sorrow here, as well as this:

Harris’s delay in addressing her own supporters have left some furious. 

Barbara Heineback, a former White House staffer and the first black press office employee for the First Lady’s office, said she was disappointed with the Democrat.

‘I am so disappointed and really insulted that I’m a Howard alum and that she didn’t have the decency to walk out and say to her, to her university, make a comment to the United States,’ Heineback said. ‘Things were not looking well for her. It wasn’t completely over.’ 

‘I mean, it shows us how classless she actually is, a sore loser,’ the former White House staffer continued. ‘Even though it’s painful for her, for the Democrats, I think America might be relieved at recognizing and realizing they don’t have to put up with this any longer.’

Nailed it in one, Ms Heineback. As Midwest Chick notes, at least one of these assholes appears to be capable of waking up and learning something, if you force it down their fucking throats.

APOCALYPSE NOW!

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I love the smell of liberal tears in the morning. Smells like…victory.

Update! Insty:

SO KAMALA DIDN’T SPEAK LAST NIGHT, AND DIDN’T CALL TRUMP TO CONCEDE. A (female) friend messages: “Charming that the Democrats have twice put up a woman against Trump, who gets too drunk the night of elections to give a concession speech.”

They’re not sending their best people. Or heck, maybe they are . . .

Heh. Indeed.

Updated update! Just hit me that I’ve gotta get busy getting the Scrooge Picard theme up and running quick as I can. Why, you ask? Because for once, Christmas truly did come early this year, of course. 😉

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Troll level: Samurai

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Just may be the funniest thing you’ll see all week.

As Rush Limbaugh used to say, he’s living in shitlib heads rent-free. Mollie Hemingway, for one, is grateful for our Media overlords’ kindness and consideration in refusing to allow this evil spawn of Satan and Hitler—LITERALLY!—to pull the wool over Amerikan eyes:

Mollie @MZHemingway

Where would we be without corporate media telling us that Donald Trump is *not* an actual McDonald’s employee and is *not* currently rostered with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Said a mouthful there, Moll. Mary the K Ham, for her part, is having some trouble grokking it all.


Ahh, but not all is sweetness, light, beef-tallow fries, and Terrible Towels in Trumpland, I’m afraid.

Oh dear. It would seem that even into the life of the world’s wealthiest burger-flipper, some rain must fall.

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TRIGGERED!

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To hell with Presidents, of any and every partisan stripe: Elon Musk for God-Emperor of Earth, I say.

Elon Musk works another miracle as Lilliputian progs snipe
Elon Musk is working miracles with rockets, but a bunch of California apparatchiks want to stop his launches because of…his tweets.

The immigrant genius stunned the world Sunday as his SpaceX landed a reusable Starship booster back on the launchpad.

This is a huge tech advance, bringing launch costs down by a factor of ten and advancing space exploration and exploitation by decades.

Meanwhile, the California Coastal Commission just rejected the Space Force’s request for more frequent SpaceX launches on the Golden State’s Central Coast by a vote of six to four, with some of the “nays” specifically citing Musk’s political speech.

Ayn Rand must be spinning in her grave…or laughing at how so-called “progressives” spurn actual progress when driven by a truly independent mind.

Meanwhile, bet on Musk to beat the Lilliputians: Expect him to launch the first manned mission to Mars from Texas, which has the good sense to welcome him and all his businesses.

“Lilliputian” would definitely be the mot juste here.

Virginia Tech academic: Stop sending humans into space — it’s ‘imperialist’
The ‘inclusion of more social scientists’ needed at NASA, etc.

Yet another university academic is warning about continued human space exploration due to its “imperialist mindset.”

Savannah Mandel, a PhD candidate at Virginia Tech and an “outer space anthropologist,” adds to what seems to be a trendy argument about investigations into outer space.

According to Virginia Tech News, Mandel’s book “Ground Control: An Argument for the End of Human Space Exploration” argues that “rushing to send more humans to space […] mirrors an imperialist mindset that harms Earth’s humanity and environment.”

Maybe if you threatened to hold your breath until you turn blue, sweet-cheeks. That usually works for ya, right?

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Tale of rock ‘n’ roll woe

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Imagine Dragons iz have a Sadz.

The rest of the story:

LAS VEGAS, NV — Members of the pop rock band Imagine Dragons were reportedly crestfallen to find out that yet another of their requests to have a politician use their songs at campaign rallies had been denied.

The rejection continues the band’s 16-year-long streak of not having their music be good enough to get chosen as rally crowd-pleasers.

“Gimme a break!” complained lead singer Dan Reynolds. “You have got to be absolutely kidding me! What was it that Trump was using way back when? ‘YMCA?’ We’re so much cooler than those guys. ‘Believer’ would totally bang at a political rally. What’s wrong with these people?”

While admitting that the band does have fans somewhere, staffers from both the Trump/Vance and Harris/Walz campaigns confirmed that its music “just isn’t the vibe we’re going for.”

“It’s not like I hate them, but I’m just kinda more into Maroon 5 and T-Swizzle,” explained Harris campaign spokesperson Gayle Quimbly. “I like stuff that’s a bit more affirming, if you know what I mean. I like Coldplay.”

“Are they American?” asked Joe Linwood, a Trump staffer. “Or even popular? I don’t know…I guess we could use them at some point. Maybe if there weren’t any other bands still living.”

At publishing time, Imagine Dragons was disappointed yet again, after Jackson, Indiana mayoral candidate Josh Atkins rejected the band’s offer to use their music for his rallies, too.

Aw, poor fellers. Ya gotta hate it for ‘em.

Update! Man alive, the Tune Damage embed for this one is so blindingly obvious I can’t believe I almost let it get by me like this.

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Boeing: the long, slow death of a legend

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The Woke mind-virus, as Elon Musk hath so aptly dubbed it, claims another formerly-distiguished victim.

Boeing Employees Humiliated That SpaceX Will Rescue the Astronauts Stranded by Starliner
“We hate SpaceX. We talk s**t about them all the time, and now they’re bailing us out.”

Over the weekend, NASA finally made the decision to return Boeing’s plagued Starliner without a crew on board. That means stranded NASA astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams will now have to wait for a SpaceX Crew Dragon to return them from the International Space Station in February, stretching an eight-day journey into an eight-month one.

In other words, the aerospace giant’s first crewed test flight has been a disaster, with technical issues afflicting Starliner’s propulsion system proving insurmountable and putting the company in the position to be “rescued” by its biggest competitor in space tech.

Unsurprisingly, NASA’s decision to return the capsule with no crew on board has been a major blow to morale. As the New York Post reports, Boeing employees were left “humiliated” following the announcement.

Worse yet, it’s not just Starliner’s messy test flight — Boeing has been dealing with numerous crises, from passenger jets falling apart mid-flight to reports of major mismanagement.

“We have had so many embarrassments lately, we’re under a microscope,” one Boeing worker told the NY Post, speaking under condition of anonymity. “This just made it, like, 100 times worse.”

“We hate SpaceX,” he added. “We talk shit about them all the time, and now they’re bailing us out.”

Fran deftly puts paid to that whiny-ass horseshit.

Oh, you hate SpaceX, do you? You should be overpoweringly glad that SpaceX doesn’t hate you. If Elon Musk were similarly minded toward you, he’d leave your astronauts in space until you could retrieve them. How do you think that would look to the flying public, on top of all your other recent disasters?

Uglier’n the proverbial mud fence, I’d bet, if the rest of the flying public thinks anything like the tiny fraction of it sitting at this h’yar desk o’ mine does. Gee, wonder what these weepy, wimpy Boeing diversity-hires might look like, just out of pure idle curiosity?

Oh. Exactly like one would expect them to look, then. As Bob Bishop pithily puts it: Houston, we have a problem.

We do at that. But hey, at least OUT! cupcakes such as the two above-depicted Stunning, Brave HEROES!!!© feel “seen” and “heard.” That’s what really matters, right? Especially when it’s manned space flight, meeting the myriad challenges of exploring the Final Frontier, and the rigors of cutting-edge science and engineering with actual human lives on the line we’re talking about.

Four or five more years of this and the intentionally enfeebled Boeing Company will exist only in memory—just another proud American icon brought low by Wokester dweebs ’n’ feebs, their relentless PC ethos, and the Long March Through The Institutions. Then, for Gus, Casady, and their noxious ilk, it’ll be onwards and upwards to the next target slated for destruction.

Seriously, who gives a tinker’s damn about space nowadays? What did space exploration ever do for anybody? Any chest-thumping American Supremacist with a selfish hankering to burn tons and tons of (fossil!) rocket fuel so’s they can go fiddle-futzing around out in the Vasty Black Nowhere can always hitch a ride with the Rooskies, the (dot-not-feather) Indians, our bosom chums the ChiComs, or some other space-faring nation-state.

Hell’s bell’s, I never liked Tang anyway; the stuff tastes like warmed-over doo-doo with a fistful of used litterbox sand stirred in.

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