GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

TRUE culprit found

Well, this would certainly explain a few things, wouldn’t it?

Report: Sandbag That Tripped Biden On Stage Also Participated In Jan 6 Capitol Riot
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — The motive behind a sandbag’s sudden attack on President Joe Biden became more clear today, as sources within the federal government have produced photos showing the sandbag also participated in the U.S. Capitol riot on January 6, 2021.

“This sandbag has been a dangerous entity for some time,” said one source under the condition of anonymity. “After reviewing video footage from the January 6, 2021 riot at the Capitol, we discovered the sandbag among the other Trump-supporting domestic terrorists. The sandbag has evaded justice since that day, giving it the opportunity to trip President Biden at the Air Force commencement ceremony.”

As officials continued to dig into the sandbag’s past, further red flags were raised. “We have also found a lengthy manifesto written by the sandbag,” the source said. “We will not be releasing the manifesto to the public due to the potential damage it could cause to our democracy, but it’s really bad. Just trust us, we’re the government.”

Though unharmed in the tripping incident, President Biden has privately vowed to bring the full weight of the federal government behind his crusade to hunt down other sandbags. Additional reports seem to have indicated the sand inside the bag was white, raising concerns about ties to white supremacist organizations.

There’s hard photographic proof included with the linked article, which plainly has not been Photoshopped or otherwise altered in any way, shape, or form. Unsurprisingly, the sandbag also had close ties with Putin and RUSSIARUSSIARUSSIA. Can exposure of even deeper links to Trump and the demonic MAGA agenda be long in coming?

2

Dictionary definition

STUMBLEBUM (noun) stum·​ble·​bum

: a clumsy or inept person
: a bum, in the act stumbling.

To wit.


It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t so damned pathetic. No wait, wrong…it’s STILL hilarious. Bonus stumblebummery, shot just before the above crowning achievement of pratfalls (CRUCIAL NOTE: so far) in what’s become a long, seriously illustrious career of them:


Yep, still hilarious. As I always say, couldn’t happen to a nicer asshole. In the first vid above, Lyin’ Pedo Jaux can be seen pointing back at the imaginary culprit that purportedly caused the decrepit old fraud to take his habitual header, a “black sandbag on the stage,” even going so far as to blubber a surpassingly lame deflection for it later:

President Joe Biden laughed off his embarrassing fall at the Air Force Academy commencement ceremony as he arrived safely back at the White House on Thursday.

‘I got sandbagged,’ he joked to reporters following the tumble, which has raised more questions about his age and health.

Hardly. It doesn’t “raise” them, it answers them.

(Via Ace)

1

We wuz KANGS ‘n’ sheeit!

Does this count as “cultural appropriation,” or nah? Asking for a friend.

KangAragorn

Proving once again that no, there really is nothing they’re willing to just leave alone and let us have to ourselves—absolutely, positively NOTHING. Remember it, people; this material may or may not be on the final exam, which is coming up real soon. Sooner than you think, probably.

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1

SHOCKER: Jane Fonda STILL a total flake, even at age 137!

Better sit down before reading this astonishing dog-bites-man story.

Jane Fonda Blames Men for Climate Change: ‘We Have to Arrest and Jail Those Men’
Hollywood star Jane Fonda made the outrageous claim Friday that climate change is being caused exclusively by men, specifically white men, adding that “those men” must be arrested and jailed.

Because of COURSE they are. I mean, who else could it possibly be?

She also blamed the “patriarchy” and “racism” for global warming.

Speaking at a career retrospective at the Cannes Film Festival in France, Jane Fonda promoted her radical climate activism efforts, saying the world has “about seven, eight years” to cut fossil fuel consumption in half.

She also said “poor people of color” as well as populations in the southern hemisphere will be hit hardest by global warming.

“It is a tragedy that we have to absolutely stop. We have to arrest and jail those men — they’re all men,” she added, according to a Deadline report.

Later, Fonda continued her anti-male climate harangue.

Yep, hittin’ on  the usual shitlib suspects just as you would expect her to, no surprises whatsoever here. Stupid bint is phoning it in at this point, no doubt due to her advancing senility. There’s so little of any real interest here, I thought I’d try a thought experiment just for shits and giggles.

“It’s good for us all to realize, there would be no climate crisis if there was no racism Leftism. There would be no climate crisis if there was no patriarchy AWFLs,” she reportedly said. “A mindset that sees things in a hierarchical irrational, chaotic way. White men Liberal women and minorities are the things that matter and then everything else [is] at the bottom.”

Fixed it for ya there, Hanoi Jane. Proving once again that some of us live and learn, while others are content to just live.

Oh, think I was kidding about her age? Well, better think again.

OLDJaneFonda

YIKES! If anything, I was being too kind to the raddled old bag. We’ve come a loooonnnng way from Barbarella, baby.

YoungJaneFonda

Gotta say, I liked her a lot better back then. She was still dumb as a box of hair, mind, but at least then she knew when to just shut the fuck up and git nekkid. Which puts every stripper on Earth WELL ahead of her in terms of overall intelligence, decorum, and just plain good sense now.

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1
2

The wrong question

PJM’s Kevin Downey ax’s it.

The Warped Unreality of the Leftist Mind: How Many Lies Will These Idiots Swallow?

A: All of ‘em, as many as it takes. The REAL question, though, is: How many can they make the rest of us swallow, or at least pretend to?

There are people who can’t admit when they are wrong. Some folks are reluctant to admit they’ve been conned. But pinkos are emotionally weak toilet people who tie their political leanings to their self-esteem. They’ll swallow lie after lie, lest their political peers call them a horrible name — like, say, a “conservative.”

In other words, the Bolshies will eagerly lap up lefty lies to stay in the commie club, because it’s better than being considered a (gulp) Republican.

When asked why he was having trouble with working-class voters in the Midwest, then-president Obama said the following:

And it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

In one sentence, the great orator managed to remind threaten people that those who do not vote for him are to be considered angry, racist, xenophobic, gun-toting hillbillies. Mind control 101.

Leftists also need to feel they are better — dare I say superior — to someone, and that someone is you.

The better to see hear genocide you with, my dear.

3

My, isn’t this word salad DELICIOUS?

Asked nobody, ever.

‘We Sale Your Bank’: WaPo Reporter Rewrites Disastrous Fetterman Word Salad as a ‘Quote’
To protect the ever brilliant Sen. John Frankenstein — er, Fetterman (D-PA) — a Washington Post reporter rewrote an ineluctable Fetterman ramble and posted it as a quote. Apparently, journalism now means covering up government idiocy by pretending an official is actually coherent.

Fetterman was attempting to question the former CEO of the collapsed Silicon Valley Bank (SVB), Greg Becker. The Washington Post’s White House economics reporter Jeff Stein tweeted, “Sen. @JohnFetterman (D-Pa.) to SVB executive Greg Becker: ‘Shouldn’t you have a working requirement after we bail out your bank? Republicans seem to be more preoccupied with SNAP requirements for hungry people than protecting taxpayers that have to bail out these banks.’” The issue? That’s not really what Fetterman said. Not by a long shot.

As PJ Media’s Paula Bolyard tweeted, the actual quote from Fetterman is quite different, to put it mildly, from what Stein claimed: “Shouldn’t you have a working requirement after we sale [sic] your bank—er, with billions of your bank? Because they see me [sic] pre-preoccupied when then [sic] SNAP, uh, in the requirements for works [sic] for hungry people, but not about protecting the—the tax papers [sic] you know, that will bail no matter [sic] whatever does [sic] about a bank to crash it.”

No, I don’t know what he was trying to say, either. But apparently, Stein thought he understood so well that he could write up what he thought Fetterman meant to say and treat it as a quote.

Well, of course he did; as a fully-credentialed “liberal” “journalist,” it’s simple as do re mi: just insert the standard-issue, Mark 1-Mod 0 D卐M☭CRAT boilerplate, and Urethra! You have found it, as a certain wise, universally respected and beloved sage once put it. Is there more, you ask? Hey, this is Senator Lurch (D-Nuthatch) we’re talking about here, of course there is.

Fetterman rambled like Joe Biden in the White House during the Senate Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs hearing, “Examining the Failures of Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank.” The man needs to be in a hospital, not in Congress. It’s a total — and painful — joke that his family and staff keep trying to force him through the motions of being a functioning senator.

”Now they [banks] have — it’s in, a guaranteed, a guaranteed way to be saved,” Fetterman fretted about the government bailout of SVB. “By no — no matter, by — by — by how, you know. So it’s, it’s, you know, isn’t it appropriate that the, these kinds of — this kind of control be more stricter?” Unsurprisingly, his question was met by silence. Then he brought out the above clincher, where he compared Republicans’ proposed employment requirement for accessing SNAP benefits to, presumably, his desire for banks like SVB to “work.” All to save that “tax papers” money.

Isn’t it comforting that our economy is in the hands of bankrupts like Becker and senators like John Fetterman?

Oh no, that’s not so at all; like most Normal Americans, you’re thinking about this all wrong. As has been more than amply demonstrated throughout the Biden “pResidency,” the people who actually DO run things in Amerika v2.0 don’t have faces we’re ever gonna see, names we’re ever gonna hear, and never have to stand for “election” or “reelection.”

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1

Just. Don’t. DO it

Reason #8,741 why you never, ever, EVER try to rob a gun store.

How do gun shops prevent a person from simply walking in, asking to look at a gun and some bullets, then holding up the store owner with the weapon?
You know, this is funny. I was actually in a gun store when something almost exactly like this happened.

It was a fairly large store, with the owner and 4 other sales clerks behind the counters. I was with a friend who was there to pick up a shotgun he’d ordered. A guy walks in and asks to see a Colt .45 Model 1911. The clerk opens the glass, retrieves the pistol, and performs the necessary check, then lays the gun on the counter for the man. He picks it up, looks it over and says “Perfect…I like it.”

He then reaches into his pocket, pulls out a loaded magazine, and inserts it into the gun, then slides a round into the chamber – all pretty darned smooth and quick. He then points it at the clerk and says, “I’ll take it.”

The clerk just shrugged, and nodded past the guy. He backs off a bit, and then looks around the store. Every other clerk was armed, and had pistols pointed at the guy. Every customer had been ushered quickly behind counters or racks out of the way, without any fuss or noise. When the guy looked back at the clerk, he now had HIS pistol out and pointed at the guy. My friend and I were both trying not to laugh at this point.

The owner then starts walking towards the guy, with his hands up. He’s explaining to the guy how badly this is likely to go for him, and points out that he is seriously out-gunned, and he is definitely NOT leaving the store with that firearm. He speaks calmly, gently…and slowly reached out and took the gun from the guy without resistance at all. He then politely asked him to get on the floor, and told one of the clerks to call the police.

Found out later the store owner was a veteran, and the other sales people were either veterans or retired cops. All in all, I was never worried, scared…no, I was amused. And so were the cops, when they showed up (greeting the owner by name as they came in), wondering who’d try to rob a gun store.

I still wonder about that myself, some 30 years later, to be honest.

A gott-damned idiot, that’s who, and nobody whatsoever else. Period fucking DOT, as Ringo always says.

6

First thing we do, let’s ban All The Things

Why we can’t have nice things anymore.

‘The Wrong Side Of History’ Is The One With Air Conditioning, Dishwashers, And Gas Stoves
These campaigns unfurl the same way every time. Leftists float some outrageous invasion into personal freedom in the name of stopping climate change or enhancing safety. When conservatives react with indignation, the media gaslights the country, casting critics as a reactionary cabal itching to start a “culture war.”

Call me a conspiracy theorist, but you know, I still maintain that a Biden appointee to the Consumer Product Safety Commissioner, Richard Trumka Jr., probably told Bloomberg News that gas stoves were a “hidden hazard” and “any option is on the table,” and then argued that the state could ban anything that “can’t be made safe” — which includes ladders, bikes, candy bars, cars, forks, desks, bathtubs, and televisions, and so on.

Oh, stop being such a hysteric; no one is going to take away your straws or light bulbs or combustible engines.

“No, Biden Is Not Trying to Ban Gas Stoves,” the New York Times assured its readers. The GOP “freak out” over the government “coming for your gas stoves” was “outright nonsense,” explained MSNBC’s Chris Hayes. Though, they all argue, gas stoves are basically mini Chernobyls that are killing your children as we speak — especially minority children. All the pseudoscience says so. And if you disagree, you might be one of those “Gas Stove Denialists.”

“Gas stoves became part of the culture war in less than a week,” added NPR. “How Gas Stoves Became the Latest Right-Wing Cause in the Culture Wars,” explained Time Magazine. The Washington Post claimed that the “GOP thrusts gas stoves, Biden’s green agenda into the culture wars.” The “culture war” can never be instigated by leftists suddenly shifting societal norms but only by social conservatives who pick needless fights over piddling, long-decided issues.

As Axios noted, gas stoves had become the “Right’s new fight,” which was somewhat confusing considering “the Right” didn’t bring up gas stoves in the first place. But the natural state of the world — the inevitable evolutionary finale of any policy debate — resides on the left. The speed of progress merely hinges on compelling the knuckle-draggers to see the light.

Ahh, but you didn’t really think they’d stop with just gas stoves, did you?

As Christian Britschgi in Reason points out, the Biden administration “has proposed tightening energy efficiency standards for 16 product categories, including many home appliances. The DOE has opened or finalized rules on microwave ovens, normal ovens, refrigerators, and laundry machines in just the last few months.” The Biden administration’s counterintuitive policy initiatives ensure that you’ll be compelled to buy crappier appliances at higher prices.

A-yup. All things, please note, that Whypeepuh dreamed up, engineered, and made a reality. Meanwhile, the Leftard Red Wreckers can do nothing, invent nothing, create nothing except chaos, destruction, and general human misery. And they’ll never, ever forgive us for that.

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SAVE THE WHALES!

Again, that is, this time from the shitlibs and their preposterously unworkable “Green energy.”

Conservative watchdogs highlight ‘alarming’ surge in whale deaths as wind farms grow off NY, NJ coasts
Conservative watchdog groups ran a guerrilla-style ad campaign on the Jersey Shore for Earth Day, drawing attention to a surge in whale deaths amid the growth of offshore wind farms.

Beachgoers in Atlantic City on Saturday looked on as a single-propeller plane carried a message waving from a banner — “SAVE-WHALES-STOP-WINDMILLS.ORG” — and drivers heading out of town saw a billboard with the same message and a picture of a dead whale washed ashore.

The Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow and the Heartland Institute sponsored the ads to highlight the potential threat that wind turbine development poses to whales, dolphins and other aquatic life.

The campaign comes after a ProPublica report last week found that federal regulators in the Biden administration have downplayed environmental risks to greenlight “an unprecedented expansion for offshore wind” projects — including tax incentives through the president’s Inflation Reduction Act for renewable energy developers.

Pics of the aforementioned ads included at the NYPost link, and they’re truly wonderful. Well done, guys, and good on ya for turning the Left’s own twipe back on ‘em and hosing ‘em down good with it like this.

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Self-pWnage

Stephen asks the pertinent question.

Are These the Worst 9 Seconds of Joe Biden’s Political Career?

Worst YET, Steve. YET.

When we’re talking about Presidentish Joe Biden’s increasing senility, it’s difficult to choose the worst, most embarrassing moment of his time in office.

Okay, I gotta admit: I like that “Presidentish” formulation so much, I’ma gonna be purloining it for my own use. Fair warning.

Like most folks suffering from Alzheimer’s, senile dementia, or maybe the long-term effects of two brain aneurysms, Biden has good moments and bad ones. But the bad ones seem to be becoming more frequent.

Honestly, it seems impossible that we’d ever see a moment more revealing than this one from last week. I’m a fan of it, so to speak, because this particular moment didn’t just reveal Biden’s creeping senescence but also showed the world how our pliant press pretends POTUS is compos mentis.

You know, it’s one thing — not a good thing, mind you, but perhaps a less-bad thing — when the American press hid from the world how feeble FDR had become, particularly during the last two or three years of his life. It’s quite another to pretend that a nuclear-armed POTUS is still capable of even friendly give-and-take (with) the White House Press Corps(e).

Put them all together and it’s like the opposite of a greatest hits collection. But as any record collector can tell you, no greatest hits album is complete without at least one new song to force die-hard fans to buy it. And that’s exactly what I have for you today.

Here’s the Quick & Dirty VodkaPundit Transcript (from one of several YewToob vids emdebbed in the post—M):

[unintelligible, sounds vaguely like “I’m a puff”] Florida’s small business… winner… award winner… of, uh, the, uh, business week winner… [slams mic on lectern] YOU WON.

Who won exactly what is, like the workings of whatever is left of Joe Biden’s mind, a mystery.

Anyone still in doubt about just how much relevance the show-office of US “President” might still retain to the day-to-day machinations of FederalGovCo is hereby cordially referred to the Biden Puppet’s obvious inability to string together three words intelligibly. This, mind, with a giant-print cheat sheet in palsied hand. As I’ve said, at this point the Rutabaga In Thief isn’t even in charge of his own morning bowel movement, much less the central government.

Get ready for “Dark Carlson”

I am not no way no how down with the 9/11 conspiracy theories; actually, I consider them absurd to the point of being laughable. Not that it would be at all out of character for our gone-rogue, patently evil and illegitimate central government to commit such a heinous atrocity against its own subjects if it suited them to do so; assuredly, it isn’t. No, it’s that, having seen those crackpot theories convincingly debunked by various different and distinct parties, they seem to me to be in direct conflict with Occam’s Razor, for one thing.

For another, out of the cast of literally thousands who would have had to be involved in pulling such a thing off—including some who had spouses and/or children die that gruesome day—not even one of them has come forward to make themselves filthy rich by putting together a tell-all book exposing said conspiracy? SRSLY? Not ONE?!?

Yeah, no. Ain’t buying it, not a bit of it. Peddle it someplace else, there’s no market for it here.

That being so, I find it singularly displeasing that Tucker Carlson seems to hold a contrary opinion on the (non-)issue.

Tucker Carlson has fully left the neoliberal reservation. He is now broaching the sacred cows he presumably was prevented from touching as a Fox News host.

In a podcast from March, he mused about whether Building 7 imploded on itself due to uncontrolled structure fires or whether there might be some other plausible explanation.

“If you say, like, ‘What actually happened with building 7? Like that is weird, right? It doesn’t—like, what is that?’… If you were to say something like that on television, they’d flip out. They would flip out. So you’d, like, lose your job over that.

It’s an attack on my country. Can I ask? I don’t really understand. Do buildings actually collapse? No, they—maybe they do. I don’t know. But, like, why can’t I ask questions about that?”

Not exactly the most ringing of endorsements, but still. Congrats, Tucker, on having joined the august ranks of thoughtful, celebrity-supergenius luminaries such as Rosie “Fire doesn’t melt steel” O’Donnell, Martin Sheen, and Mark Ruffalo. Sheesh. But there might be something of a heartening aspect to this otherwise revoltin’ development, I suppose.

Due to mainstream media framing, one might be forgiven for writing off such skepticism of the 9/11 story the government told as “fringe.” In fact, according to a 2016 poll, “54.3 [of American respondents] percent agree or strongly agree” that the government is concealing what it knows about the 9/11 attacks—an even higher share of respondents who believed the government lied about the JFK assassination or aliens.

Here’s my prediction, not limited to 9/11 conspiracy theories but Carlson’s rhetoric more broadly: wherever he lands next, perhaps on his own platform, Carlson is going to make the Fox News version of himself look milquetoast in comparison.

At Fox, he was hamstrung by all of the respectability norms designed to safeguard the official narrative related to any given topic: the ongoing Russia proxy war, climate change, et al.

In the future, he won’t have those institutional constraints, and the corporate media and government censors like AOC who attempted to silence him by getting him taken off the air at Fox, and then celebrated on social media after they claimed their scalp, may live to regret the monster they have unleashed on American political discourse.

Call it the Dark Carlson effect.

Heh. Dark Carlson? I love it. Well, okay then, let ‘er rip, Tucker. After all, pobody’s nerfect, right?

Another Righteous Shoot

Fucked around. Found out. Exactly as he damned well deserved to.


Divemedic says it for me.

I have heard the complaints that the guy shouldn’t have shot him when he was leaving, and you know what? I don’t give a shit. If the cops and courts won’t protect their citizens, the citizens eventually will.

Precisely so. I’m not so sure the soon-to-be-ventilated perp actually was leaving. He walked back around the counter, but he wasn’t moving in the direction of the door; probably looking around to see what else in the store might be worth stealing, seems to me.

“Shouldn’t have shot him”? Like bleedin’ hell. What shouldn’t have happened was, the predatory Gibmedat shouldn’t have robbed the guy in the first place, that’s what. Had he not chosen to commit armed robbery and ADW, thereby putting an innocent man in fear for his life, then he wouldn’t have gotten his sorry ass shot. That’s all on Sh’Quan’zellaramalamadingdong, and absolutely nobody else.

Be sure to stick with it for the happy ending; the footage of the worthless parasite writhing in pain on the sidewalk, bleeding profusely, is worth the price of admission all by itself.

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Fox augers in

They unceremoniously dump the biggest star the network ever had, and now they’re surprised at the outrage that bonehead maneuver generated?

Back there in the 1960’s golden era of rock and roll, (from 1966 to 1968) a group known as Buffalo Springfield dominated the air waves for a rock moment. Their big 1967 hit was titled “For What It’s Worth.” And its lyrics included these memorable lines:

There’s something happening here

But what it is ain’t exactly clear 

…Paranoia strikes deep

 Into your life it will creep 

It starts when you’re always afraid

Step out of line, the man come and take you away…

The lyrics came to mind this week in watching Fox reel from the backlash of the company’s “parting ways” with host Tucker Carlson. (And full disclosure, I am a Newsmax contributor.)

And speaking of Newsmax? The network has not been shy in reporting its 8 p.m. audience nearly doubled Monday, reaching 531,000 viewers, based on Nielsen figures. The following night, the number rose to an average 562,000 viewers, a five-fold increase from the previous week.

By contrast, the Tucker hour’s ratings at Fox plummeted, from 2.59 million on Monday (when his departure was formally announced) to 1.7 million on Tuesday and 1.3 million on Wednesday.

Not to put too fine a point on this, but Tucker himself has released his own two-minute video statement on Twitter. In less than 24 hours the video had brought in over 60 million views. Yow.

One can only wonder, as many have, why in the world Fox would shut down its number one host. Tucker Carlson is a very popular conservative and a decidedly smart guy as well. All of which has been evident on his nightly show, and all of which his audience both understands and loves.

Not to mention another popular host, Dan Bongino, has also vanished from Fox.

So why in the world would Fox do this?

At this point, I imagine a good few of the Fox higher-ups are wondering the same thing.

Okay, okay, I admit it—my main motivation for posting this is the excuse it affords me to put up that great old Buffalo Springfield tune.

With a glowingly-affectionate intro by Monkee-man Peter Tork, no less. What can one say but: COOOOOOOOL.

Update! For those younger readers who somehow wandered in here by mistake and who aren’t old enough to know anything about Buffalo Springfield (for SHAME), here’s some background info.

Buffalo Springfield was a rock band formed in Los Angeles by Canadian musicians Neil Young, Bruce Palmer and Dewey Martin and American musicians Stephen Stills and Richie Furay. The group, widely known for the song “For What It’s Worth”, released three albums and several singles from 1966 to 1968. Their music combined elements of folk music and country music with British Invasion and psychedelic rock influences. Like contemporary band the Byrds, they were key to the early development of folk rock. The band took their name from a steamroller parked outside their house.

Buffalo Springfield formed in Los Angeles in 1966 with Stills (guitar, keyboards, vocals), Martin (drums, vocals), Palmer (bass guitar), Furay (guitar, vocals) and Young (guitar, harmonica, piano, vocals). The band signed to Atlantic Records in 1966 and released their debut single “Nowadays Clancy Can’t Even Sing”, which became a hit in Los Angeles. The following January, they released the protest song “For What It’s Worth”, which became their only US top 10 hit and a counterculture anthem. Their second album, Buffalo Springfield Again, marked their progression to psychedelia and hard rock and featured other well-known songs such as “Bluebird” and “Mr. Soul”.

After several drug-related arrests and line-up changes, the group disbanded in 1968.

For all intents and purposes, Springfield was one of the earliest examples of what later on came to be referred to in the rock world as a “supergroup,” even though Young, Stills, Messina, et al weren’t all that well known at the time. This next is a bit of trivia for the ages:

While in Toronto in early 1966, Young met Bruce Palmer, a Canadian who was playing bass for the Mynah Birds. In need of a lead guitarist, Palmer invited Young to join the group, and Young accepted. The Mynah Birds were set to record an album for Motown Records when their singer Ricky James Matthews—James Ambrose Johnson, Jr., later known as Rick James—was tracked down and arrested by the U.S. Navy for being AWOL.

ZOMG! Okay, I never knew that myself. It calls for a CELEBRATION, BITCHES!

Heh. Don’t hate me ’cause I’m beautiful, y’all.

2

Oh noooes, Evel crashes AGAIN

What a pluperfect asshole.


See what I mean? What kind of weapons-grade dick-with-ears would jump in to bat around a vintage toy like that, chancing busting the thing all to smithereens on the asphalt? I had one of those myself back when I was but a wee sprat, and I can damned sure tell ya what woulda happened to this dude if he’da dared do that to mine. He’da wound up with a gaggle of the neighborhood rugrats latched onto his ankles, chawing on his ears and kicking him in his tiny, withered nutsack, that’s what. Hell, I had a scruffy, mean-ass pitbull pup back then, yclept Heinz, that woulda made mincemeat of his sorry ass, just on principle alone.

I mean, okay, I checked, and they DO still sell ‘em, for the low, low price of…40 smackers? Jeez. That said, at least it isn’t irreplaceable or anything.

But still. Jerkwad.

If you rob it, it will close

Lying in the bed Shitcongoans made for themselves.

Watch: Chicago residents complain about Walmart leaving their neighborhoods, say they “deserve to be able to shop” at stores they’ve repeatedly looted
Today, citizens of the leftist utopia of Chiraq are surprised that private businesses would pull out of their crime-ridden neighborhoods!

These dummies act like it’s a guaranteed right to have a Walmart in their neighborhood, even though said Walmarts have been losing “tens of millions” annually because of theft, taxes, vandalism, and other losses.

“How do I feed my children?”

I dunno, my man, buy some chickens and sow some seeds like humans did for thousands of years before Sam Walton perfected big-box distribution and spent the money to build stores in your city?

Really, what can one say but BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

“We should not have to go out of our communities to have to be able to shop! … We deserve to be able to shop!”

Yes, my man, this is true. In any civilized nation or city, these should be basic things you can do, because people like to make money and are more than happy to make it convenient for you to spend it.

But there’s a reason there are no Walmarts in Darfur or Fallujah.

Stores there would probably be safer, and a better bet all around for WalMart and its employees alike than Shitcongo. Follows, a passel of vids featuring the damage and destruction wrought by the selfsame Looter Americans who are now bitching about Wally World daring to starve their dumb-nigger asses out by closing the stores they themselves wantonly trashed.

Hey, I have an idea for feral Shitcongo Dindus who will be denied their daily calories by those cruel WalMart RAYCISSNSHEEIT: cannibalism. Try it, you might like it!

Via Bayou Pete—who, happily, is back from his weekend hiatus and in fine fettle:

Residents of Chicago, Portland, Seattle, and other cities where the mob has become accustomed to stealing what they like, when they like, and getting away with it, are now discovering the consequences of allowing that to happen. What store can afford to stay in business when every day that it does so costs it more money than it makes? (Not to mention the consequences to its staff, who are imperiled by criminal thugs and looters!)

The trouble is, those who’ve grown used to taking what they want aren’t going to mend their ways when their local stores shut down. No – they’re going to spread their net wider, and try to do the same in more distant suburbs and neighboring towns. I don’t foresee much of a problem with that in my area: our cops (and the vast majority of our citizens) will have no trouble stopping such miscreants in their tracks (if necessary, the hard way). However, in many larger cities it’s going to be a problem. Public transport is more or less available, cars can be stolen or hijacked at gunpoint for a quick ride, and fresh loot isn’t far away; and police are so overloaded (not to mention underfunded) that they can’t deal with the crimes they’ve got right now, never mind increased shoplifting and looting in future.

As Peter suggests about his own locality, I’d certainly love to see them try it around these parts. Which isn’t terribly likely; they know already what the end result of that would be here in South Cackalacky, I’d bet.

Update! The NYT shits bed, buries lede, confirms things they’d rather not be confirmed.

327 who are above the law
The New York Times story did not say what its editors and their flying monkeys thought it said.

The headline said, “A Tiny Number of Shoplifters Commit Thousands of New York City Thefts.”

OK, you don’t need a J-school degree to figure out the message sent. Not everyone in NYC is boosting $4,500 Louis Vuitton purses. It is just a few people. Whew. What a relief to know this.

The subheadline said, “Nearly a third of all shoplifting arrests in the city last year involved just 327 people, the police said. Businesses say they have little defense.”

You see? The looting is by just a few people.

The story said, “Collectively, they were arrested and rearrested more than 6,000 times, Police Commissioner Keechant Sewell said. Some engage in shoplifting as a trade, while others are driven by addiction or mental illness; the police did not identify the 327 people in the analysis.”

The story, however, is you can rob stores dozens of times and get away with it. My question is why don’t more people in NYC just rob stores blind every day? I mean, come on people. If 327 people can get caught 6,000 times and get away with it, what is stopping 8 million people from looting Tiffany’s every morning and Macy’s every afternoon.

Maybe they are. Who knows how many New Yorkers steal and how many times they get away with it because the 327 people were just the ones the police caught. And the 6,000 arrests are just the times the 327 got caught.

Once again, NYT staffers throw a bunch of numbers around at random. You really cannot say, “A Tiny Number of Shoplifters Commit Thousands of New York City Thefts,” because the numbers reflect arrests, not crimes. And of course, there is the whole innocent-until-proven guilty thing that NYT conveniently forgets from time to time. So you cannot say commit.

NYT argued that stealing $4,500 Louis Vuitton purses is a crime of necessity. Its report said, “Criminal justice reform advocates have said that petty thefts are a crime of necessity, and that many down-on-their-luck New Yorkers are stealing what they need to survive in one of the world’s most expensive cities.”

And NYT also argued, “Retailers have pointed to shoplifting as a drag on profits for decades.”

Once again, the criminal is the victim. How dare the stores make profits!

Years ago, I remember a Charlotte-cop friend of mine telling me that CPD could end crime in CLT overnight, just by arresting the 1500 or so people responsible for almost all of it without some shitlib Turn ‘Em Loose Bruce judge springing them all the next morning. Yes, that’s CLT and NYC, but does anybody want to seriously argue that a like pattern doesn’t obtain in Shitcongo as well?

7

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