Category: Heh

Funny things

GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

The United States of Chiquitastan

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Not a banana republic. NOT.

‘The U.S. Is Not A Banana Republic,’ Says Biden While Showing Off Cool New Uniform

ElPresidenteBiden
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an address to the nation, El Presidente Biden showed off his cool new uniform covered with flashy medals and assured the nation that the U.S. is not a banana republic.

“Listen, folks, this is ridiculous,” said El Presidente as machine gun fire went off in the background. “Just because I’m using the corrupt power of my administration to prosecute a political opponent, doesn’t mean we are a banana republic. We’re a nation of laws and freedom! If you weren’t free, would I be wearing my beautiful gold Presidential Medal of Freedom right now? I think not!”

Media outlets praised Biden’s bold and impressive new look. “It’s as if the shiny gold of Dear Leader’s well-deserved medals are signaling a new dawn for our country and all humanity,” said CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer. “For the first time, I feel safe, wrapped in the loving arms of our Lord Ruler. Blessings be upon him!”

Sources say Biden’s political opponent, Donald Trump, is finally being held responsible for the egregious crime of having classified documents while not being a member of the ruling party. “I AM THE MOST PERSECUTED PERSON WHO HAS EVER LIVED,” said Trump in an all-caps rant on TRUTH Social. “NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN MORE MISTREATED THAN I HAVE. THIS IS A PHONY WITCH HUNT AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!”

Sources confirmed Trump is scheduled to disappear mysteriously next Tuesday.

It’s (not) funny ’cause it’s true.

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You will be made to care

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Even if—ESPECIALLY if—you don’t, not in the least.

Dying Vice Launches ‘Queer Sports’ Series, Hastens Its Demise
Dying Social Justice™ outlet Vice, apparently pathologically incapable of reform, is hastening its self-destruction by introducing a cringe segment called “Queer Sports.”

Video at the link—featuring some fat carpet-muncher dyke broad who obviously never participated in any sport not involving a comfy sofa, an xtra-jumbo-sized bag of Cheetos, and a case of designer beer in her entire life—which I won’t be embedding here, didn’t watch and have no intention of ever watching, and highly recommend you not watch yourself. Naturally, he/she/it is waving a giant rainbow fag-flag joyously around in the video screenshot, because QUEER SPORTS!!!! or something. Anyways. Onwards.

The non-binary non-athlete’s main gripe is that “pride” events hosted by nearly every major professional sports franchise are too “performative,” which is ironic given that performative Tolerance™ and Diversity™ are the entire demand.

“Are pride nights, important, Lyndsey?” the moderator prompts — as if that’s an open question subject to legitimate debate.

“I think they’re important, but I also think it’s gotten very performative,” Lyndsey replies, with an upward inflection that suggests she’s asking a question and not answering one. “Very like, ‘this is what we’re supposed to do. We’re supposed to do it in June and like, then, we’ll kind of forget about it.”

If people like Lyndsey had their druthers, every minute of every hour of every day would be a nonstop orgasmic celebration of “pride.”

This criticism of corporations bending over backward to cater to gender-obsessed ideologues at the expense of the vast majority of their customer bases who haven’t totally surrendered themselves to the Social Justice™ hive mind as “performative” is quite common within the so-called LGBTQ+++™ “community,” which is a euphemism for the insular cult of self-appointed representatives of a made-up demographic.

Ben’s conclusion is worth the price of admission all by itself, being perfectly, one-hundred-percent true.

Making them live their “truth”

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Anything goes.


As do I. I mean, really, what could possibly be more fair? T’was toxic feminism created this voracious, all-consuming beast; now, let them live with it—cheek by jowl, in the house they themselves built for the rest of us, until they’re sick unto death of being forced to keep close-quarters company with the stinking, grotesque thing.

 GP also has a copy of Shepherd’s application to compete as a wyrmynnzzz, wherein zhirm hilariously declares “I identify as a woman for this contest.” Naturally, the weightlifting Powers That Be are pissing all over themselves trying to find a way to short-circuit the jolt of high-voltage reality being hurled their way by the Zeus-like Ms Shepherd.

According to the Reduxx report, the Global Powerlifting Committee of New Zealand (GPCNZ) appears to be scrambling to keep Shepherd out of the competition — even going so far as to change their rule book to say that he is ineligible.

The report points out that in their 2023 Rulebook, the Global Powerlifting Committee of New Zealand (GPCNZ) recognizes self-declared gender identity. In a section of the guidelines titled “Transgender Athletes,” GPCNZ states that “gender is presented on a spectrum” and that the organization “respects the autonomy of the individual and how they identify.”

“An archived version of the official website dated March 30 does not display the GPCNZ rules for trans-identifying competitors, instead leaning heavily on self-identification,” the report explains. “But, after submitting his application and declaring himself a ‘woman’ for the purposes of the competition, Shepherd was hastily sent an email and told he was not allowed to self-identify as transgender and must have been on estrogen for at least one year to compete.”

Shepherd is challenging their decision to exclude him.

You go, girl ummm, boy ummm, Manwoman ummm, whatever.

Judgment Day

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Tal Bachman suggests something I’ve been wondering a lot about myself in recent years: so exactly where the hell is the God of the Old Testament, He of the smiting and the scourging and the Great Floods, anyway? What, is He asleep or something?

Dear Old Testament God, Maybe It’s Time For A Comeback Tour

Maybe it’s age, but I’m starting to warm up to the God of the Old Testament big-time.

That’s the one you’re not supposed to like. The one you’re supposed to feel embarrassed by. Even outraged. To hear religion-hater Richard Dawkins (and his tedious hordes of mini-mes) tell it, the Old Testament God is the personification of all cosmic vice. In Dawkins’ words, he is “arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction”.

Let’s see what the Bible says.

God’s first genocide was his biggest and most spectacular: the flood. He created mankind, and—well, it just didn’t work out. “Every intent of the thoughts of (man’s) heart was only evil continually”, Genesis reports. But it was the ensuing evil human action which really sealed the deal for God. In a nutshell, “the earth was filled with violence”. That means, I assume, colossal rates of murder, beating, rape, child molesting, brutal slavery, and more. Human beings had taken an Edenic paradise and turned it into hell on earth. God wanted a do-over. A hard reset.

So, yeah, God killed everyone, minus Noah and his family. Wouldn’t you, if things were that bad? After all, you’d be delivering justice to the wicked, and maybe even mercy to their long-suffering victims. Just thinking out loud here.

As it happens, God covenanted after the flood to “never again destroy every living thing, as I have done”. But—thankfully—his covenant didn’t rule out more selective massacres.

Sodom and Gomorrah, for example, were cesspools of horror. The town fathers had institutionalized the gang rape of male city visitors, normalized rank sexual depravity in general (which I assume included sexual abuse of children), and topped it all off with pride, gluttony, and abominable selfishness. Even surrounding towns began crying out to God to do something. I feel sick just thinking about it.

And obviously, God did too, because he killed the entire populations of both gang-raping, probably child-molesting cities with the Bronze Age equivalent of Fat Man (fire and brimstone raining down from heaven). Why would I feel bad about that?

The common thread in all these stories is that the people God kills are incorrigibly evil. They’re a scourge to humanity. They commit murder, rape, child abuse, enslavement, cruelest tyranny, random beatings—you name the atrocity, they’re committing it. And they’re not changing their ways. They’re committed to doing the wrong thing even after multiple warnings and chances to improve. These are the reprobate types Paul refers to in Romans 1—people who know they’re doing evil, and delight in it. They hate God, they murder, they violate every innocence and trust. And for God, when things get bad enough, there’s just nothing else to do with them but say goodbye.

Follows, Bachman’s appeal to God His Own Self for a return to the old-fashioned, tried and true ways of dealing with such things. To wit:

Hello, God.

I’m just going to come right out and say it: How about a comeback tour?

You fried the sickos in Sodom and Gomorrah. You drowned all those Egyptian slavers. You even wiped out the entire population of the earth, minus Noah and his family. So how about you help us out right now with a special new demographic reset?

I use the word “reset” on purpose. You see, I want to propose you begin your comeback tour by focusing on all the control freak politicians and bureaucrats who exploited a global panic (which they themselves had cynically manufactured) in order to effect a “Great Reset”. These people make Max Robespierre look like Russell Kirk in a coma. They are—even as I type this—still busying themselves trying to destroy every single salutary aspect of human life and community. And while they’ve done all their damage in the name of public health, they’re actually doing it all in service to themselves. For in their false, pagan morality—the kind you always used to say you hated —they are the gods. Not you. They are the ones who will improve us, heal us, bless us, save us. Not you. They are the ones who will rule heaven and earth. Not you. And their moral code, such as it is, is a putrescent stew of all the most noxious, even demonic, ideas imaginable. I can send you a detailed list in a follow-up note, if you’d like.

In any case, the price these control freaks are now extracting for the patronizing, self-serving, technocratic megalomaniac globalist totalitarian “beneficence” we never asked them for, and don’t want, and which they’re imposing on us against our will, is our sovereignty, our most basic freedoms, our humanity, our families, our traditions, our beliefs, our obligations, our identities, our nations, our allegiance, our worship. In short, these people are your enemies. And ours. We’re in this together, God. We’re on the same team.

I could list many more of the most tyrannical, unconscionable impositions. But I’m going to pause here, and just say, once again, that now would be a great time for you to do a comeback tour. Boy, would it ever. These people wanted a Great Reset. How about you “great reset” them all into, shall we say, “outer darkness”? I don’t really care what you do with them (if you catch my drift) as long as we never have to see them, hear them, or be tyrannized by them ever again.

A most hearty amen to all that.

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The Passion of Big Burly Mike

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Can you spot the bear-trap the writer of this piece blithely waving away the scarifying possibility of Moochelle running for Prexy in ’24 gets snagged in?

Michelle Obama Is Not Coming to Save the Democrats

I love a good conspiracy theory. Aliens, ancient builders, Bigfoot—I will absolutely click on that headline and read the latest conspiracy, no matter how fanciful or ludicrous. Everyone has a harmless personal foible, right? And in the times we live in now, shadowy government conspiracies and UFOs are no longer just for “The X Files.”

My favorite new conspiracy theory goes like this: the Democrats know they are in big trouble for 2024. They have this addled, dementia-riddled, diaper-wearing octogenarian and his dreadful wife occupying the White House, and he’s become an embarrassment. These days he makes three to four hair-curling, cringey gaffes per week, falls up the stairs to Air Force One every time he tries to trot up them to project American strength and vigor, and has been credibly accused of passing gas in front of the Queen Consort of England. But Democrats can’t abandon him before the primaries because, well, Kamala. So Biden will announce he is running again but will withdraw sometime around the Democratic National Convention so as to clear the presidential field for…

Michelle Obama.

The stench of desperation is hilarious, isn’t it? That’s how bad the field of Democratic presidential prospects is. Democrats must be pretty frantic for someone to have conjured up and floated this rumor. A recent poll indicated 72 percent of Americans don’t want Biden to run again in 2024. Biden will be 82 shortly after the 2024 election. Is this Michelle Obama rumor supposed to give Democrats hope? To keep them from abandoning Biden because just wait, Michelle is waiting in the wings to save their party from Bad Orange Man, or even worse, Ron DeSantis?

Please. I’ll believe aliens taught Bigfoot how to make crop circles in Peru before I buy this one. Michelle Obama hates politics, hates voters, and hates Washington D.C., and not necessarily in that order.

I don’t believe it for a millisecond. Michelle Obama is living her best life right now, the life she has always wanted and felt that she deserved (if her husband hadn’t been a community organizer obsessed with politics who didn’t make any money and forced her to support the family). She’s completely free of the restraint of politics. Now she can say whatever she wants about people she used to have to pretend to like. Polls name her consistently as the most admired woman in America. You think she’s giving any of that up to schmooze and take photos with donors, or hit the campaign trail in Iowa, or spend the night in one-star hotels in Pennsylvania? Not likely.

Maybe so, maybe not. But all the well-known trappings of fame, wealth, and power aside, it would be best not to leave out of our calculations the overwhelming allure of the one enticement that might prove powerful enough to turn even Burly Mike’s big ugly head, creating a 180 degree shift in whatever passes for “thinking” therein, expressible thusly: First Black Female President In US History.

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Sneer quotes OD

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It’s now officially official, folks: words mean nothing.

Twitter laughs, groans as Jill Biden gives biological male Women of Courage award: ‘Up your game, ladies’

Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted, ‘It’s International Women’s Day – a good time to remember that Democrats can’t even tell you what a woman is’

“Women.” “Courage.” “Insurrection.” “President.” “Truth.” “Doctor.” “Baseless.” Need I go on?

First Lady Jill Biden and Secretary of State Antony Blinken were slammed Wednesday for presenting a biological male from Argentina with an award for women on International Women’s Day.

This year’s annual International Women of Courage Awards ceremony at the White House honored “11 extraordinary women from around the world who are working to build a brighter future for all,” according to a State Department press release.

Some of whom might actually have BEEN, y’know, women.

Argentinian Alba Rueda was introduced at the ceremony as a “transgender woman who was kicked out of classrooms, barred for sitting for exams, refused job opportunities, subjected to violence, and rejected by her family. But in the face of these challenges, she worked to end violence and discrimination against the LGBTQ plus community in Argentina.”

How very fucking touching, that he/she’s received this “prestigious” award for having the “courage” to “live his/her truth.” Ahh, but it wasn’t all serious, somber acknowledgement of an “extraordinary” “woman’s” “bravery.” Happily, we now come to the fun part of this orgy of self-congratulory celebration of batshit lunacy.

“Nice of FLOTUS to encourage the diminishment of women on ‘international women’s day.’ Erasing women is abusive,” host of The Dana Show, Dana Loesch, tweeted.

“International Women’s Day: Not just for women anymore,” conservative Twitter personality Andrea Katherine wrote in reply.

“Apparently men are a lot better at being women than women are. Step up your game, ladies,” Townhall columnist and radio personality Derek Hunter joked.

“We are not a serious country,” Common Sense Society’s Christopher Bedford responded.

Nope, definitely not. Nor a sane, dignified, respectable, honorable, or admirable one, neither. To close things out, we have a real jawbreaker turn of phrase.

Rueda currently serves as Argentina’s Special Envoy for Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, International Trade and Worship. The State Department said Rueda had “actively campaigned to change the name of the National Women’s Conference to the ‘Plurinational Conference of Women and Lesbian, Cross-Dresser, Transgender, Bisexual, Intersex and Non-Binary Persons’ to include diverse, dissident, and racialized identities.’“

Holy CRAP, that’s a mouthful and a half right there. Can’t remember exactly where, but I remember years ago reading some wag’s rule of thumb regarding bureaucratic gobbledegook such as that last: the more words there are in the title, the less useful or important the thing actually is. A pic of the actual trophy:

WomanOfTheYeartrophy

Yep, a truly joyous, meaningful day representing civilizational “progress” all the way ’round.

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Bits ‘n’ pieces o’ this ‘n’ that

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More tidbits from another email newsletter I’m really, really glad I signed up for, the Quora Daily Digest. From the News You Can Use department, Practical Realities division.

As a police officer, if the person receiving the ticket is crying a lot, does it make you more likely to give the ticket to them or less likely?

Absolutely not. You know what does sway me? When I walk up and I get something along the lines of, “Sorry officer, I didn’t even realize I was speeding until I saw your lights, my mistake.” Honesty and attitude is key. If it’s nothing major, and the person owns up to it and talks to me in a respectful manner, I’m much more likely to just give out a warning and wish them a nice day. Dont try to lie your way out of it, don’t think crying will work, and above all, don’t keep the officer on the side of the road longer just so you can argue with them. It won’t work.

Next item comes to us from the Nice-Guy Celebrities local office.

Have you ever met a celebrity and found they were much kinder or ruder than you expected?

Back in 2003, Alice Cooper was playing a shown near Jim Thorpe, PA. It was sold out but I decided to try to find a ticket that day.

While walking by the only hotel in the downtown area, Alice’s tour bus pulled into the parking lot. The band and then Alice himself got off and were just milling about chatting.

I stood at the edge of the lot debating about asking for an autograph. As I started to approach, Alice looked over, said hello and held out his hand. Nervously, I shook it while trying not to sputter like an idiot.

Alice was amazing. We started talking and he was asking me questions about the area, if I golfed (he’s a huge golfer), how far I drove to be there. We started walking towards the hotel but he never broke the conversation. Even when Eric Singer (his drummer at the time) came up to tell Alice something, he motioned for me to hold on, answered Eric’s question, then continued the conversation.

When we reached the hotel front, I asked for a picture (taken with a 35mm film camera.) He obliged, we shook hands, and he went into the hotel.

Later that night, I bought a ticket from someone in line who had a no show in their group.

Being as it was general admission, I made my way to right in front of the stage. I’d like to think he noticed me there and gave me a wink at one point, but who knows.

Alice Cooper, the person, is much different that Alice Cooper you see on stage.

That’s always been the rule and not the exception for me with the many celebs I’ve serendipitously rubbed shoulders with over the years, yeah, from Johnny Cash to Daryl Hannah. I’ve heard that same thing said about the esteemed Mr Furnier lots of times, although I never did get to meet the man myself. Hell, even Janeane Garofalo—who’s kinda well-known for being not very friendly or nice usually—was absolutely great to me when she attended a show we did out in LA. Although it must also be noted that she was stinking, pie-eyed blotto when I sat and talked with her for a while after the show was over.

So, y’know, there’s that.

Waylon Jennings, Carl Perkins, Marisa Tomei, CJ Chenier, John Stamos, Brian Setzer, Mike Ness, though? All just great folks, super-nice and perfectly willing, even eager, to spend some of their valuable time chatting with a relative nobody like moi. The lone exception was actor George Kennedy, whom I had the sad misfortune of serving back when I was bartending at the CLT airport. He was a complete prick, start to finish, and I was mighty glad to see the back of him when his flight was finally called. That was an hour that went on for an eternity, seemed like; I thought it would never end, but thankfully it did.

Today’s final missive is courtesy of the Don’t Be A Dick sub-branch.

Police showed up to my neighbors house this morning and my neighbor told me they were looking for me (they said my full name) but then left promptly. But there is no search warrant for me online, how do I find out why the police were looking for me?

My wife called me at work saying the Sheriff was at the house with an arrest warrant for me for writing bad checks. I told her that I would handle it when I got home. When I got home I called the Sheriff’s office and said I would like to arrange a surrender. I explained that wealthy people do it all the time. Basically, you want me in custody, I would like this incarceration to have a minimal impact on my life. I ask to be allowed to eat dinner at home and shower at home and notify my boss of the situation before I willingly present myself to you for incarceration. This surprised the Sheriff, who had never been in this situation. He started asking questions and it was discovered that the person who the warrant was actually intended for, their S.S.# was 1 digit different from mine. Our names were identical, our age was identical, our wives’ names were one letter off from being identical and their S.S.#s were only 2 digits off. They lived roughly 50 miles from were I had lived for 8 years.

The Sheriff was curious and basically did a 10 minute investigation and dismissed the warrant due to incorrect information.

Obviously this is not standard behavior, I have been arrested due to a warrant, at my job, as I was working. I say all this to say that police are people first and many go into that profession to make the world a better place. It is unwise to assume that everyone in a group think alike in every instance.

Sometimes a little cooperation and how you present yourself can influence the outcome considerably.

WOW. That’s one hell of a story for sure. But…only “sometimes”? I’d say it’s the way to go pretty much every time myself, if only for purposes of self-preservation and nothing else. But then again, maybe that’s just me, and I could be all wet about it.

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Another crash ‘n’ burn

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You may have noted pRetend “pResident” Pedo Joe’s mangling of Thomas Jefferson’s famed “Tree of Liberty” quote in this post from last night. Or maybe you didn’t, I dunno. But either way, it inspired me to try my hand at making a meme out of it—which didn’t turn out as well as I would’ve hoped, thanks to my complete lack of any real GIMP-fu.

In fact, it was such a struggle and took so long to produce even the sub-par result below that I very nearly went into my daughter’s room to do the thing on the now-retired iMac, which still has a working copy of P-shop on it from my days working for the magazines (the new-to-me iMac won’t run any Adobe products at all thanks to some legacy 32-bit code tucked away in ‘em somewheres, a fact that still astounds me no end).

Understand: GIMP is good software, don’t get me wrong, and Lord knows the price (free) is right. But the learning curve for someone that’s been using P-Shop and Illy since, oh, about 1998 or so has turned out to be steep indeed. The nomenclature describing various tools and their functions is very different, and some things—like, say, the “Stroke” option, among others—just aren’t there at all; they don’t exist in GIMP, near as I’ve been able to determine. Others, such as “Drop Shadow,” “Bevel and Emboss,” “Find Edges,” and various text effects work in quite unexpected ways.

So y’all will just have to cut me some slack with this piss-poor meme, if you can find it in your hearts to do so. I’ve definitely come a long way from where I was when I first tried GIMP out, but I still have a long, long way to go with it yet. On the other hand, if I was the kind of guy who could pass up a chance this good to poke fun at senile Grampy Gropey just because my GIMP skills fall far, far short of the ideal, then hey, you probably wouldn’t be reading this damned blog in the first place, now wouldja?

TJefferBiden web

A sleazy, two-bit con artist like Bribem really ought to keep the immortal Jefferson’s words out of his lying mouth anyhow. Funny, don’tchathink, how he left the word “tyrants” out, ain’t it?

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So close, and yet so far

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As y’all no doubt know by now, I find myself increasingly frustrated with James Kunstler. He is indeed a wonderfully skilled, insightful writer, no doubt about it. But his recent penchant for constructing an impeccable argument on a given issue, only to shy away in the last paragraph or two from the obvious conclusion that there really is no political solution to be found has become downright wearisome, at least to me.

That said, though, the opening ‘graph of today’s piece is a real gem.

So many calamities, quandaries, and mysteries swirl in the zeitgeist these days that life in the USA feels like swimming against a rising tide of poisoned guacamole. Nothing has been able to stop that green spewage from the political Left, especially as it desecrates our very language to turn everything up, down, and everything inside, outside. You end up drowning the consensus about reality under the muck. Now, finally, there are political forces gathering to oppose all this deliberate malice and deceit and they will need something like a fire-hose to clean the joint up.

Heh. “Green spewage,” poisoned guacamole, and firehoses? Now, THAT is gooooood squishy right there. Makes me kinda reluctant to read the rest of it, knowing the piffle about “investigations” and “Congressional inquiries” and other such rot that surely awaits towards the end of it.

Update! And sure enough.

Obviously, there are many other channels of inquiry waiting to be explored in the government’s war against the people, especially the lingering questions about election interference and the official censorship of news. The excellent writer who goes by Sundance at The Last Refuge website made some capital suggestions for going forward with these inquiries: one is to rely primarily on witness testimony rather than on documents that federal officials will surely do everything possible to hide. Don’t turn this into a futile battle over the docs. Let’s just hear what the people-in-charge have to say. Secondly — and this may be hard for many angry, injured people to swallow — immunize witnesses against prosecution, to give them no incentive to hide what they know, what actions they carried out, and who told them to do it. Give them this immunity, Sundance wrote, in the interest of maximum transparency — because punishment of these characters is less important than showing the people of this country how far off the rails we have gone, and how to get back on. It may not be optimally satisfying, but it’s an argument worth pondering.

No, it assuredly is NOT—seeing as how the argument from the very git-go relies entirely on a fatally-flawed premise: that the best way to “get to the bottom” of all this knavery and deception is via the selfsame government that is indeed waging war against its people. It’s pure self-deception, and it’s pathetic.

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Coming-out party

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Flaming RINO Adam Kinziger has finally burst forth from the Vichy GOPe closet, and is now fully a-swish right where he always belonged.

Adam Kinzinger Finally Got His Dream Job As A CNN Talking Head

CNN is working so hard to pivot from being the Never Trump network that its new corporate bosses just hired one of the movement’s most prominent cheerleaders.

On Tuesday, CNN announced the hiring of ex-Rep. Adam Kinzinger, R-Ill., who stepped down from the lower chamber this week after he declined to seek re-election in November.

“Happy to join team @CNN!” Kinzinger wrote on Twitter, where his moniker now includes the hashtag “fella.”

Kinzinger, a six-term retired lawmaker who now joins the network as a senior political commentator, spent years auditioning for the new gig as one of former President Donald Trump’s most vocal critics in the House. When Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney launched a futile effort to coral Republican support for the Democrats’ snap impeachment of the outgoing president in January 2021, Kinzinger was quick to jump on the bandwagon. The Illinois lawmaker was one of nine Republicans to join Cheney in her vote to impeach, and later became the second GOP representative hand-selected by Speaker Nancy Pelosi to be on the select committee ostensibly probing the Jan. 6 riot. First was Cheney, who led the Democrats’ panel as vice chair.

Kinzinger’s appointment led to more regular appearances on CNN, with the network obsessed with giving the committee round-the-clock coverage. His theatrics, complete with performative tears for the television during the panel’s first public hearing in the summer of 2021, now appears to have paid off. By October of the same year, Kinzinger, hampered by redistricting while his path was already paved for a CNN contributorship anyway, opted to forgo re-election altogether. This week, the ex-lawmaker finally completed his quest for paid TV appearances, and with it, his career on Capitol Hill.

Making him pretty much the same as the rest of the Capitol Hill swine, with both hands frantically grabbing all the gelt they possibly can after a too-long career in “public service.”

Congrats to you, Adam, for landing on a network now available exclusively at airports. You will no doubt enjoy an audience a cpl-three thousand strong every day, consisting entirely of the backs and shoulders of angry passengers stranded at the airport but relieved nonetheless that nobody can force them to watch CNN. I’m sure your profile, name-recognition, and popularity will soar higher than they ever before have been.

Schmuck.

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"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

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Email addy: mike-at-this-url dot etc
All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless specified as private by the sender

Allied territory

Alternatives to shitlib social media: A few people worth following on Gab:

Fuck you

Kill one for mommy today! Click to embiggen

Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
—Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Claire's Cabal—The Freedom Forums

FREEDOM!!!

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
—Daniel Webster

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill.”
—Charles Bukowski

“A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
—Ezra Pound

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
—Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.”
—John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves."
—Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged."
—GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free."
—Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
—Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
—Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."
—Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
—David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
—John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
—Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
—Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
—Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
—NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
—Bill Whittle

Best of the best

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

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