Category: Damn that’s funny!

GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Catastrophic near-miss

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Oh frabjous day, calloo callay! Well, almost.

Anderson Cooper drilled in face by flying debris during live on-air Hurricane Milton report: ‘That wasn’t good’
Cooper, known for his on-site coverage of hurricanes, took the incident in stride and continued his report of the water from the Manatee River rising above the river bank and onto the walkway above.

Aw dammit, I was rooting for casualties when I saw the headline. According to the article the “flying debris” in question was only a small piece of styrofoam (sigh) and not a brick, iron bar, V8 engine block, live alligator, or something else a bit more, umm, lethal, shall we say. Oh well—next time, perhaps.

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On-air freakout

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Hurricane+divorce=just too much for this poor TeeWee weatherdude to take.

“Satan’s butthole,” no less. That’s gotta be the funniest forecast I ever did see. Can’t remember where I ran across this one, but I sincerely thank whoever it was for the steer to it.

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Mittens Romneycare, confirmed coward

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Poor widdle dear says he’s afwaid of the big bad MAGA monster lurking under his bed, and personally, I’m GLAD he is, the punk-ass pissypants. Putting the skeer on Uniparty Fauntleroys like Romneycare and then keeping the skeer on ‘em is the first step in putting things to rights in this fallen nation. Or as right as they’re ever gonna be again, at least.

The Fear That’s Keeping Mitt Romney From Endorsing Harris
Republican Senator Mitt Romney, who has said he would not vote for Donald Trump, has expressed some reticence about endorsing Trump’s opponent over a particularly grim worry.

The Washington Post reported Friday that Romney has cited concern for his family’s safety as one of the reasons he has not publicly supported Kamala Harris, according to one person familiar with the Utah politician’s thinking.

Link is to Ed Driscoll’s Instapundit post, not the original item in the New Republic. Because fuck those shitlibtards, that’s why.

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Missing person

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That would be one Mr Darius “Sweetdick” Honeycum Esq, currently being sought by US Marshals who would like to have a quiet word about God only knows what. Have they checked under Ass Slangin’ Fani’s bed yet?

There is currently a major manhunt underway by US Marshals for Nathan Wade, the former Fulton County investigator and DA Fani Willis’s lover.

Jesse Watters broke the news Thursday evening on FOX News.

Jesse Watters: Lover boy, Nathan Wade is missing. The House Judiciary Committee, which is investigating Georgia DA Fannie Willis, needs Wade to testify at a hearing tomorrow on their love affair. But no one can find the guy. They’re trying to serve him, but he’s flown the coop, and now the US marshals are in a manhunt to track him down.

“The committee issued the subpoena on Friday, attempted to serve the subpoena to Nathan Wade’s lawyer, who declined, and subsequently the committee tried to serve the subpoena via email through Nathan Wade himself, never heard back. As a result, the committee had to use the assistance of the U.S. Marshals, who have also not been able to find Nathan Wade,” Russell Dye, a spokesman for the committee, told Newsweek on Wednesday evening.

Nathan Wade, previously a special prosecutor in the election interference case against former President Donald Trump in Georgia, has gone missing.

Yet TRUMP is supposed to be the “threat to democracy” somehow, not these sleaze-slurping reprobates. Please see the previous post for more on this; oh, you better bet it’s related, all to hell and gone it is.

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The headline IS the story

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Ken’s hed is pure gold.

When you just can’t take her mouth any longer
An 85-year-old Minnesota man was arrested for allegedly stabbing his longtime wife to death. 

Annandale police and the Wright County Sheriff’s Office say Rodney Allen Andersen was arrested and charged with killing his spouse.

Heh. Indeed. Spoken like a man who’s been married for a minute himself, I’d say.

BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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The self-beclownment just doesn’t come much more spectacular than this.

Tim Walz Drops a Truth Bomb That Could Sink Kamala Harris’s Campaign
In a surprising turn of events, Kamala Harris’s running mate, Tim Walz, may have just delivered the most damaging blow to her presidential campaign—and it came from an accidental moment of honesty.

It’s no secret that Kamala is trying to figure out how to simultaneously present herself as a “new way forward” without distancing herself too much from Joe Biden. The way Kamala speaks, you would think that Donald Trump is the incumbent president.

Of course Trump is not the incumbent president, but Kamala Haris is the incumbent vice president—a fact that seemed lost on her running mate during a campaign rally in Bethlehem, Pa., on Saturday, when he declared, “We can’t afford four more years of this.”

Typically, candidates running for reelection turn “four more years” into a rallying cry for their base. But when the party in power says “We can’t afford four more years of this,” it feels like an indictment of their own leadership. After all, who’s been in the White House while Americans are struggling? Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

So when Kamala’s own running mate utters that line, it sounds like a free campaign ad for Donald Trump. Trump should capitalize on this, running ads on a loop showing how inflation is soaring, grocery prices are skyrocketing, crime is surging, illegal immigration is out of control, and wars are breaking out—paired perfectly with Walz’s line, “We can’t afford four more years of this.”

Of course, for Tampon Timmeh and his fellow D卐M☭CRAT scum, the incontrovertible fact that we can’t afford “four more years” of Bribem-Harris misrule is a feature, not a bug; actually, it’s the whole damned point of the exercise. It means that their work—destroying what little remains of America That Was once and for all and replacing it with yet another floundering, flailing authoritarian kakistocracy—is all too close to being done.

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MOAR Destructo-X

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As if being a cop in San Franshitsco wasn’t already humiliation enough.


Hilarious.

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SHE’s at it again, too!

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Did somebody just say “at it again”? Why yes, I believe someone did.

WATCH: Megyn Kelly Completely Destroys Liberal Host on the Trump Witch-Hunt Trials in a Brilliant Legal Display During Summit in Los Angeles
Perhaps no person in America has been red-pilled as much as Megyn Kelly on President Trump as she has turned into one of his most effective advocates over the past few years. This was noticeably apparent earlier this month during a summit in California.

Kelly participated as a speaker at the All-in Summit in Los Angeles, California, which went from September 8-10. She was part of a panelist of the 10th during a segment called Besties on Stage, where she was asked multiple questions, including her thoughts on trans issues, Trump’s chances vs Kamala Harris, the corrupt lawfare against Trump, and how politicians have changed.

Things got quite spicy when the subject turned to the legal witch-hunts against Trump. The host, Jason Calacanis, not only demonstrated his ignorance of the law but also set out to condemn Trump as guilty of bogus crimes in three cases (E. Jean Carroll, the Trump Organization, and the hush money trial). Kelly, though, promptly gave him a legal education, which forced him to retract his claims despite his protestations to the contrary.

The priceless, thrilling vid:


Miz Megyn, bless her indomitable heart, nails shitlib douchebag to the fucking cross…and the crowd goes wild! Longer version at the link.

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Chinks gotta Chink

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Remember back when China was known primarily for cheap, shoddy imitations of a vastly-superior genuine article? Nah, me neither.


Jeez O Pete, guys, SRSLY?!?

Via VP, who duly acknowledges: “Granted, they are still awfully cute.” Heh. Indeed.

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Oh HELL yeah!

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KILL. THEM. ALL.


Ya gotta love the guy. Well, unless you’re a scum-sucking Paleosimian terrorist who just had his nuts blowed off, that is. Or a shrieking ((((JooJooJooJOOOOOO!!!)))) hating shitlib.

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Must-see video of the day week month year century

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After watching this amazing smackdown I have decided that I am actually a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, and I want to have Megyn Kelly’s babies.


AHHH, YEEAAAHHHHH! Okay, I’ll cop to it: I just came in my pants, a little. Now I need a cigarette, a shot of whiskey, and a hand towel to wipe the sweat off my face.

Update! Unsurprisingly given his own personal experience with the “transgender” cult, Elon Musk seconds that emotion.

Elon Musk, who previously trolled the pop singer’s announcement, offering to give her a child and protect her cats, agreed with Kelly, calling Walz’s policies “so messed up.”

It can be recalled that Musk was tricked into supporting his son Xavier’s determination to “transition” into a woman. “It wasn’t explained to me how puberty blockers are actually sterilization drugs. I lost my son essentially,” Musk told Jordan Petersen while sharing his heartbreaking account of the consequences of puberty blockers.

This is what the Democrats want for America’s children.

Megyn Kelly is right. Screw you, Taylor Swift.

Amen to that, with great big fucking bells and a cherry on top.

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Nobody does it like the Post do

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Another rockin’ good headline from those wild, whacky NYP kids.

NYC artist who paints with human blood busted with cache of ‘illegal guns’ after cops responded to drug overdose

The article itself is kinda meh, just more of the usual self-consciously “edgy” obnoxiousness from a standard-issue, Mark-1 Mod-0 NYC “artist” type, whereas the breathless “cache of illegal guns” hubba-hubba refers to about as scrawny and undernourished a so-called arsenal as you’re ever likely to point and laugh at—except for the Mossberg, a scattershot collection of cheap junk none but a hoplophobic denizen of the Big Rotten Apple would think frightening: a Mossberg 12 ga pump; a KelTec .22; a Seecamp .32; a goofy fixed-blade “fighting knife” likely purchased at a boondocks truck stop for less than a double-saw, made of steel so buttery-soft merely sheathing the stupid, gaudy thing would be more than enough to dull whatever notional edge it may (or may not) have ever had; random boxes of ammo, probably all in 5.56, 9mm, .45ACP, and/or other mismatched calibers; one of those useless kit-stilettos you gotta assemble yourself, a practical joke from the bottom end of the otherwise generally half-decent Boker product line so flippity, flappity, and all-round raggedy-assed you couldn’t pop a soap bubble with it (ask me how I know, I dares ya).

If you find that sort of horsepuckey intriguing, feel perfectly free to click on through and read the whole thing. For my money, the headline pretty much says it all.

HOW I KNOW: Okay, okay, here’s the skinny. Many moons ago, long before the Innarnuts was even a twinkle in Albert “Arnold the Pig” AlGore’s eye (in days of old/when knights were bold/and Amazon not invented), I mail-ordered two (2) assembly-required stiletto kits from Boker. I affixed the plastic decorative handles to the pot-metal frame with model-airplane cement (not included), attached the blade-actuator button in its slot according to the minimal instructions, and was appalled to learn that, when the button was pushed to bring the blade (NOTE: not even the vaguest hint of an edge on the sorry thing, and I do mean none) zipping out of the opening, the internal spring was too wimpy to eject the blade with sufficient force to click it into the “open, locked” position. Imagine my chagrin as I stood there slack-jawed, brand-new knife in hand, the stabby part (HA!) of which lolled weakly in and out of its frame, of no more use to me than a 2-pound bag of ice is to your average Eskimo…a great deal less than, actually.

Upon further experimentation, it developed that now and again I could make the blade lock into place with a few sharp, vigorous flicks of my wrist, which felt every bit as foolish to me then as it sounds today. Regardless of all the jiggery, pokery, and Afro-engineering trickery I attempted, though, the button steadfastly refused to get with the program; after several years occasionally endeavoring such bootless meat-beatery, I finally gave up and tossed the Boker into the broken and/or non-useful tool drawer in my rollaway at the H-D shop. Once my youthful innocence had been forever lost, the trusty old Gerber Gator resumed its established role as my EDC shank, and the Boker pieces o’ shite eventually wound up in the rubbish bin where they rightfully belonged. THE MORAL OF THE STORY: As personal defense weapons, the Boker switchers make perfectly adequate paperweights, doorstops, and/or letter openers.

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