Nuts

I had just about decided to give this item a miss and not bother mentioning it—it’s not as if there’s any news value here at all, it’s a “dog bites man” story if ever there was one—but…but…but…God help me, I can’t. I just can’t.

DOJ Interview Transcript: Joe Biden Made Car Noises, Often Meandered Off-Topic

Say it with me one mo’ time ag’in, everbuddy: UNDERSTATEMENT. OF. THE. CENTURY.

The transcript of Joe Biden’s interview with Special Counsel Bob Hur showed the president frequently wandered off topic, even making “car noises.”

The transcript, obtained by Breitbart News in advance of Hur’s testimony to the House Judiciary Committee, showed a prosecutor had asked Biden about his beloved Corvette, trying to pinpoint the timeline of when classified documents were moved to make room for the car in his home garage.

Attorney Marc Krickbuam asked Biden: “Do you remember whether it was when the Corvette was coming back after the Jay Leno show? So, in other words, it goes out for Jay Leno, eventually it comes back.” Biden responded, “Oh no, it was, it was in and out for a bunch of reasons,” before starting to chatter away.

“Because it drove me crazy; I wanted to drive it,” Biden continued. Krickbaum responded, “Got it. That makes sense. A beautiful car.” According to the transcript, Biden then proceeded to talk about his car, and make car noises.

“And the worst part was, they said I couldn’t drive it outside the driveway. It’s a long driveway. So I’d get to the bottom of the driveway, tack it up to about four grand (indiscernible) (makes car sound) (indiscernible) (laughter),” it quoted Biden.

After continuing on about how he got involved in politics, Hur finally interrupted him, saying, “So, sir, the material that you just — that you remember having, again, trying to steer us back to the end of your vice presidency and focusing on your move out of the Naval Observatory.”

Biden also meandered off on a tangent when asked, “Did you bring classified material with you from the West Wing or the Naval Observatory to the lake house?”

Biden responded, but then veered off into a detailed description of his office and pictures before recalling a trip to Mongolia.

“You know, I went to Mongolia and, and great pictures. I, unfortunately, embarrassed the hell out of the leader of Mongolia.”

“So we’re out in the middle of nowhere and they’re looking up on the hill and we see this tiny line. You know, it’s a 20-mile horse race with all these kids under the age of 16 on bareback racing to come down. And you know, there are sumo wrestlers doin’ everything they do.”

Biden continued to talk about how he was handed a bow and arrow and he hit a target on a hay bale. After that story, one of the attorneys requested to take a break.

Oh, I just bet he did at that.

Horse racing, sumo wrestlers, amateur archery demonstrations. No mention of ferris wheels, funnel cakes, Asian Transgender Cornhole, or Guess The Weight Of The Roundeye Gweilo-Bastard booths, but I betcha Too Old Jaux remembers all those too, every bit as vividly as he “remembers” anything else these days. Sounds like Mongolia has really got it goin’ ON, don’t it?

2

HERE COME THE CANNIBALS!!!

Y’all ready for it? Because I assure you, it’s coming right enough.

Florida border agents placed on high alert for refugees following breakdown of order in Haiti

Heh. I like that “breakdown of order” business, I really do. Like there’s ever BEEN anything remotely resembling order in that shithole country. When Trump referred to it in those specific terms, he was understating the case. YUUUUGELY understating it.

Border agents in Miami have been told to prepare for a wave of migration from Haiti following the takeover of the country by bloodthirsty gangs, The Post has learned.

An internal agency email leaked to The Post pointed out it is unlikely Haitians who take to the sea and enter Florida illegally will be repatriated back to their home country, given its instability.

The message also warned that one vessel of migrants landing would overwhelm agency capabilities in the area.

“One landing will cripple the station and our ability to respond to other traffic,” the email to agents read.

I’m sure Biden has the transport planes loading ‘em up and preparing to move ‘em out of Port Au Prince already. I mean, as some wag or other has already noted, Haiti is, after all, an island nation, one it shares with their neighbors to the east the Dominican Republic…who built themselves a big, beautiful wall to keep the Haitians out a cpl-three years ago or so, I believe it was. That being the case, how the hell ELSE is Pedo Pete gonna get ‘em here, prithee tell?

More on the DR’s wall:

That wall, Dominican authorities admit, appears to have led to a confusion about where the Dominican Republic ends and where Haiti begins.

Even though the wall faces Haiti, both sides of the structure are actually within Dominican territory, the Dominican officials say, and their military has the right to patrol both sides of the wall. Some Haitians, however, claim that the area on the side of the wall facing Haiti is a no-man’s-land and that even if it isn’t, the Dominican Republic ceded its rights to that side once it built the wall. It’s unclear how far away from Haitian territory the wall is located, but the Dominican presidency’s office said that there are clear markers in the area indicating each country’s border.

Either way, the sudden appearance of Dominican soldiers crossing over the wall Monday led to Haitians protesting and burning tires.

Uhhhh HUH. Wall or no wall, Haitians gonna Haitian, I guess.

As for the cannibalism thing, I’ll let Stephen handle that.

There Is No Cannibalism in Haiti — Or Perhaps at Least Some
On a long enough timeline, every Monty Python sketch comes true. It seems like only a couple of years ago (Steve, it was only a couple of years ago—editor) that I reminded you of the classic scene from “Monty Python’s Life of Brian” that both mocked and predicted today’s transinsanity.

Today, we aren’t supposed to talk about cannibalism in the Royal Navy…er, in Haiti.

“May I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy,” Graham Chapman’s RN officer said to a reporter in the classic “Expedition to Lake Pahoe” sketch. “Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit.”

Western news sources are mostly hush-hush on the issue of people who eat people (the luckiest people in the world, according to the song) as Haiti collapses, but the most powerful man in Haiti is a gang leader they call Barbecue “because of his penchant of burning people alive.” There was at least one video going around Twitter/X of one gang member “tearing flesh from the leg of a burning corpse and eating it.”

The clip has since been pulled.

Some dispute whether or not any actual human leg was eaten or if maybe the video was a year or two old. What doesn’t seem to be in dispute is that a guy named Barbecue (“Babekyou” in the local parlance) has helped provide all the necessary ingredients — random violence, approaching famine, crispy human flesh — for cannibalism to come into practice in the Western Hemisphere’s poorest and most screwed-up nation.

“Rights group Plan International said many were fleeing the capital for Artibonite, traditionally Haiti’s breadbasket farming region,” Reuters reported last week, “but whose residents are now facing food shortages as fighting spreads north.”

Biden administration on Saturday was forced to close the U.S. embassy in Port-au-Prince and airlift out all American personnel. CBS News said the move was due to “escalating gang violence,” which is like referring to D-Day as “an Allied visit to the charming beaches of Normandy.”

Haiti’s prime minister, Ariel Henry, fled the country last week and on Tuesday announced that he will resign. The former was absolutely necessary for his own safety, and the latter seems superfluous.

Ace puts paid to the MSM’s usual bushwa.

It’s nothing but gaslighting 24/7 — inserting US troops into a foreign gangwar is “a common and routine practice worldwide.”

“The U.S. Embassy remains open, and limited operations continue, focused on assistance to U.S. citizens and supporting Haitian-led efforts to secure a peaceful transition of power,” it added.

The former president had to flee because of “unrest.”

“A peaceful transition of power” is out the door already.

Yep, I’d say that ship sailed from Haitian waters long, long ago.

Whichever turn matters take from here, there are two things we can be absolutely, positively certain of: 1) Biden’s offstage puppeteers are even now scheming how they can get as many Haitian savages into this country, sucking on Uncle Scam’s sugar-teat, and voting D卐M☭CRAT as they possibly can, as quickly as they can; and 2) El Supremo Generalissississimo “Babekyou” did NOT come by his colorful nom de despot because he’s a genial, honest, reasonable guy who only wants the best for his people and his country.

Which, by the way, is a total shithole. Yet another thing Trump was right about all along.

The “virtual lifestyle”

Is compromised all to Hell and gone, fraught with risks and hazards we know not of, but dismiss or ignore at our direst peril.

The planet seems to have some teleological drive to save itself, a kind of immune system. Notice: in all the ongoing debates about the wonders and dangers of A-I, and Bitcoin, and suffocating surveillance, nobody ever talks about the sketchy condition of the electric grid that all these worrisome phenomena utterly rely on. In our chatter over Peak Oil, there’s little awareness of oil production’s utter dependence on steady capital flows. In all the guff about centralized control emitted by Klaus Schwab and his World Economic Forum, there’s no mention of the centrifugal forces driving human affairs to re-localization, dis-aggregation of large states, and down-scaling of many activities. In our zeal to become Gods, we miss a lot.

Imagine: Bitcoin shoots up to a million dollars. You’re a zillionaire! Uh Oh…somewhere outside Zaneseville, Ohio, a squirrel takes a final chaw through some old insulation on a wire coming out of a transformer. His head blows up in a blue arc flash, and in a few seconds all the electricity goes out from Chicago to Boston. It turns out that seventeen substations in ten states have blown relays, transformers, and switchgear. Some of those components were forty years old and are now manufactured twelve thousand miles away in a country that doesn’t like us anymore. The replacement parts get held up in a Chinese port. The power doesn’t come back on for weeks. Nobody who lives in the eastern USA can get to his Bitcoin wallet, which is just a virtual entity made of computer code residing in a digital “cloud,” i.e., nowhere real.

Of course, in an event that bad, a lot of other things would fail — really just about everything that comprises modern life — but for sure you could kiss your Bitcoin goodbye, perhaps forever, because by the time the juice comes back on (if it even does), nobody will ever again want to invest their wealth in digital “money” they can’t access, and Bitcoin will go back to whence it came: zero.

Likewise, the financial system we depend on is a gigantic apparatus grown extremely janky from over-elaboration and hyper-complexity — to the degree that all kinds of things denoted as having “moneyness” are simply hallucinations of the markets that trade them. How many quadrillions of dollars do “derivative” financial instruments represent on the landscape of “money” these days? Most of these things amount to little more than bets that some number — an interest rate, a currency, a revenue flow — will change either up or down. That is, they are figments.

Bitcoin has gone “hockey stick” the past month, meaning on a chart the move up looks nearly vertical. Do you know why it’s going up? I’ll tell you: it’s going up…because it’s going up. People and groups of people (wealth funds, banks) see the up-trend and deduce that Bitcoin is going “to the moon.” Meanwhile, they view the tea leaves of the currency scene and see a lot of brown, crumbly debris where there used to be “capital.” The money itself is losing its “moneyness” all over the place. The most vulnerable module of the system now is the bond market.

Many sentient beings viewing the scene warn us that the bond market is liable to blow, and with it most of the other modules in the current MMT-driven system. That will be the magic moment when a big theory gets disproven rather vividly and injuriously. The price of everything will vaporize in a mushroom cloud of malinvestment and when the dust settles — which might take a long time — everything will be priced differently, including many things to zero.

This is the kind of world we’re in now, and all this is why I don’t worry quite so much about the machinations of the various blobs that have self-assembled to defend their particular special interests while doing harm to many of us: the military-industrial blob, the censorship blob, the fake news blob, the intel blob, the corporate monopoly blob, the medical blob, the central banking blob. The systems we depend on to make all things blobish function are looking pretty ill, like they’re not going be working a whole lot longer.

Unlikely though it may seem, the tale has a happy ending (of sorts), which you’ll want to click on over to read.

2

TRUE empowerment

To adapt Jerry Seinfeld’s memorable line in praise of black-and-white cookies: look to the titty.

How the breast was won: The week Sydney Sweeney’s boobs exploded
It’s official. The State of the Union is…boobs.

Florida Democratic Congressman Jared Moskowitz posted — and then deleted — an image on X of a wide-eyed President Joe Biden walking into Thursday night’s speech alongside a picture of “Euphoria” star Sydney Sweeney – the photos situated so his gaze was fixed to her ample cleavage spilling out of a black dress.

Two of this week’s viral moments fused in perfect accord.

When called out by a Politico reporter, Moskowitz responded, “It was inappropriate. I took it down.”

But given the week Sweeney’s breasts have had, it’s only fitting they found their way into the D.C. discourse.

For those not living perpetually online, Sweeney’s au naturale double D bombs set off one of the most brutal, bloody battles in our raging culture wars.

While co-hosting “Saturday Night Live” last weekend, the 26-year-old actress leaned into her famous bust, playing a stacked Hooters waitress in one sketch.

During the show’s wrap-up, she donned a plunging black frock that showed off her girls, bouncing as she enthusiastically dished out the customary thank-yous.

The image of the blonde’s embonpoint boomeranged online, drawing lusty appreciation from dudes.

Only one correct response to that last.

You all know what comes next, I’m sure: the weeping, the wailing, the gnashing of teeth over the unfairness, the injustice of it all.

And then, blowback from the left flank: a flurry of angry tweets including one from writer Ali Barthwell who admitted she couldn’t get past the paywall to read Phetasy’s analysis but called Phetasy’s premise, “fatphobia, misogyny, anti-blackness, transphobia just rolled into one” anyway.

“These weird conservatives are lifting up sydney sweeney for being a thin cis white blonde with big boobs because they are mad other body types have also been on tv,” she wrote.

Actually, Bimbelina, we “weird conservatives” don’t give three whoops in Hell what body types are “also on TV.” What frosts Normals is having scantily clad land whales and morbidly obese manatee-facsimiles crammed down our throats by finger-wagging Wokester bluenoses such as yourself—on TeeWee, in Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, in Victoria’s Secret catalogs. These disgusting tubs of sebaceous goo have us surrounded nowadays. Lumbering and wallowing across the landscape, displaying more square acreage of jiggly flab than your average WalMart parking lot can boast, they’re everywhere you look, there’s really no avoiding them.

Bottom line? Simply this.

And whatever the societal implications of her bustline, Sweeney seems to be winking at us all, from the driver’s seat.

The ultimate feminine power play.

Heh. Suck on THAT, “liberal” scolds, harridans, and harpies. Normals are fed to the eyeteeth with your bullshit head games at this point, and we ain’t playing anymore. How horrible it must be for you, having the tables turned on you like this.

Calls for a little Superior Dance to de-stress the shitlib Church Ladies and soothe their anguish over Miss Sweeney’s bodacious fun bags—said anguish exacerbated by her polite but firm refusal to bend the knee to their demands that, as a pretty young white woman, she must don the hairshirt of PC penitence and be properly ashamed of the gifts God (and good genes) gave her, choosing rather to enjoy them, to revel in them, even. You go, girl.

Sorry, Big Bertha: contra the sweet-sounding lies those who are using you as a political prop have told you, being grossly overweight is not healthy, not beautiful, not attractive or desirable or “sexy” AT. ALL. Deep down, in the places you don’t talk about at AYCE buffets, you know it’s true.

So don’t fall for the lies. Update your thinking, adjust your attitude, make some positive, meaningful changes in your daily routine. Take charge of your life. Diet. Exercise regularly: lift weights, speed-walk or run, do calisthenics, try a hot-yoga class. Make physical fitness your long-term goal.

No, it won’t be easy or quick; it will require a lot of hard work, sweat, and resolve. But I promise you’ll be much happier for it in the end, pumping up your confidence and self-esteem as you begin to see real results, feeling stronger and more energetic as you progress. Instead of cringing with dread at the mere thought of getting off the sofa and going out into public view, you’ll rediscover the sense of personal pride and satisfaction which comes hand-in-glove with genuine accomplishment.

Once the vicious cycle of ennui and self-destruction has been broken, one thing tends to lead to another, then another, then another. It’s amazing to watch it happen, but happen it does.

You’ll sleep better at night. Your monthly grocery bill will drop, although your membership fees at the gym might offset that gain. Your newfound confidence will re-energize your social life, providing the impetus to get out there and mix and mingle now and then, instead of spending the evening alone in front of the TV…AGAIN. You’ll meet interesting people, make new friends. You’ll probably live longer.

Really, now, what have you got to lose? That you honestly, sincerely consider worth hanging onto, I mean?

3
1

SOTU follies

Doddering, decrepit old fool.

Mother Of Laken Riley Slams ‘Pathetic’ Biden For Calling Slain Daughter ‘Lincoln Riley’ During SOTU
The mother of Laken Riley, a young woman who was murdered by an illegal immigrant under the Biden administration’s watch, has publicly criticized President Joe Biden for not remembering her daughter’s name during the State of the Union address.

The incident by the 81-year-old president has sparked outrage among conservative news outlets and the general public.

During the State of the Union address, Biden was confronted by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who demanded that he “say her name” in reference to Laken Riley.

In response, Biden fumbled the pronunciation of Riley’s name, which prompted her mother to speak out against the President.

In several comments posted to Facebook, Riley’s mother said, “It’s just pathetic that the President of the United States couldn’t even remember my daughter’s name. It’s like she didn’t even matter to him.”

Well, I mean, y’know, DUH, lady. Sorry to have to say it and all, but it’s the plain and simple truth, always has been.

Of course I didn’t watch a minute of the stumblebum’s speech—having much more important and productive things to do with my time, like sweeping the kitchen floor, scrubbing the toilet, and/or playing with the cats—but from what I understand, a handful of non-Vichy GOPe Repugnicants like MTG stood up on their hind legs and gave Too Aulde Jaux pure-dee hell, heckling the pRetend ***”pResident”*** with shouts of “say her name!” and “liar!” throughout the State Of The Union Show.

Hey, if national politics is going to be nothing more than entertainment, they at least owe it to us to make it entertaining, right?

3
2

Is Woke broke?

I don’t really give a tinker’s damn about the two main topics at hand here—the Wokester incursion into comic books, and Gamergate, whatever the hell that was and/or is—being neither a reader of comic books nor a video game person—but I love the “Cancel Pig” epithet so much I’m running with it anyhoo.

The story: A Boston comic retailer complained that he could not sell a lot of the crap comics the industry was spamming out. (Obviously he is very sensitive to bad, unsaleable comics — they murder the retailers who are tricked into buying them, but then cannot sell them for full price, or even for half price. Comic books are not returnable.)

One major complaint he had was that the nitwit writers were not writing classic, very manly characters like Tony Stark or Steve Rogers in-character. Rather, they substitute their own femmy, Current Year concerns, phobias, and anxieties make man’s men parrot their own Twitter freak-outs.

The typical Cancel Police immediately attempted to cancel this man. They made fun of him for being, well, a comic book fan — he was overweight, older, not-too-stylish, and a bit awkward. One obese comic book writer attacked him for being fat.

A woke black comic book artist — well, a low-level artist — named Jerome Igle decided to brand him a racist, not based on anything he said (he did not mention race at all, nor did he allude to it), but based on the fact that he said this guy reminded him of a disgusting, dirty comic book shop owner he had known who was racist.

See, this guy reminded him of someone else, and that guy (he claims) was racist, so: Q.E.D.

Wow, Jerome — good to see your many, many accusations of racism are built upon a firm foundation.

The cancellation train was beginning to chug along and approaching top speed, when suddenly it ran into a problem: star comic book writer Mark Millar, writer of Kick-Ass, the Kingsmen, and a bunch of bestselling comics turned into movies and TV shows, stepped up and defended the comic shop owner, echoed his complaints about storied characters being written as if they were 25-year-old Twitter Addicts, and castigated people for attempting to cancel a man for merely offering his (unobjectionable) opinion.

Suddenly the comic book “pros” who were attempting to cancel him fell into retreat. The obese comic book writer who’d made fun of the comic shop owner for being overweight now clarified he didn’t mean to call him “fat” as an insult, no, not at all! He had merely called him fat to show that fat comic book nerds should stand in solidarity.

One by one, the would-be cancellers made excuses and softened their objections.

Then Millar coined a new term for then — he called them “Cancel Pigs,” which a pungent, memorable, and highly accurate term for these scumbags. That term, “Cancel Pigs,” has now exploded in popularity and is the most popular way to refer to these miserable fascists.

And rightly so, too. Well, except for the gratuitous insult to actual, y’know, pigs, of the four-legged, oink oink oink, rooting and wallowing in slop persuasion. They’ll just have to bear up under the strain somehow, poor dears. As to whether Woke is finally on the run or not, all I have to say about that is it’s about fucking time.

1
1

The dullards who rule us

Their arrogance is exceeded by only two things: 1) their ignorance; 2) their presumptuous, egomaniacal assertion that they, and they alone, are fit to rule us when they so manifestly are anything but.

ATF Chief Tells CBS He’s Willing To Skirt Laws To Ban Guns He Doesn’t Even Know How To Use
President Joe Biden’s Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms Director Steven Dettelbach seems to know as much about guns as Democrat-nominated Supreme Court justices.

During his appearance on CBS’s “Face The Nation” over the weekend, Dettelbach outlined for CBS News’s Margaret Brennan the ATF’s desire to ban certain firearms and modifications he claimed are loopholes in restrictive gun laws.

In the sit-down portion of his interview, Dettelbach claimed his 5,000-person agency is “way, way, way too small” to fully satisfy Biden’s gun-grabbing goals. He also admitted the ATF, even though barred from creating a federal database of firearm owners, still devotes its time and resources to “work within that system” and link guns to owners.

When the interview shifted to a demonstration featuring a table of unloaded firearms, Dettelbach tried his best to make the case for more regulation of law-abiding Americans’ top self-defense option. Even with the help of one of the ATF’s “leading experts,” however, Dettelbach failed to demonstrate knowledge of even the most basic firearm anatomy such as the difference between a clip and a magazine.

Acting AFT division chief Chris Bort, the “expert” present for the demonstration, also struggled to disassemble a pistol in an attempt to show how allegedly easily Americans can swap firearm frames. Bort is acting head of the ATF’s Firearms Ammunition Technology Division.

The vid of that bit is as hilarious as it is disturbing.


See what I mean about presumption and egomania? Surely this Bort chucklehead had to be well aware that he knew nothing whatsoever about the devices he’d be handling before a national TV audience as a scarifying demonstration of their monstrous lethality and ease of use—yet he couldn’t bestir himself to spend even a few minutes practicing with said devices in his swanky hotel suite the night before? Maybe doing a little light reading-up on his high-end laptop before bed, say, to avoid making a damned fool of himself before the TeeWee cameras in the morning?

In his predicament, wouldn’t you have? I sure would’ve. Any halfway sensible person would’ve, or so I’d expect.

But noooo. From all available evidence, these two abject feebs aren’t even smart enough to know they should be embarrassed by their spectacular self-beclownment—much less a tad more humble—as befits those who, in a more felicitous era, used to pridefully refer to themselves as “public servants.”

May I remind you: these are the shitwits spending God only knows how many taxpayer dollars to A) regulate and/or ban useful things which are beyond their meager comprehension; and B) pursue, imprison, and otherwise harass far better Americans than they’ll ever be, for the heinous crime of conducting themselves as if the clear, easily-understood words of the US Constitution still meant anything at all in Amerika v2.0.

May I also remind you: this dearth of intelligence coupled with supreme arrogance is hardly unique to the BATF, nor can these two assclowns be excused as the proverbial exception that proves the rule. Quite the opposite, depressingly enough: in FederalGovCo, it’s assclowns all the way down.

9-zip. When you Lose the Kooky Marxist Judges

It means you are so full of merde that even your mother thinks you’re crazier than anyone currently held in the asylum.

The meltdown is predictable and ongoing. When a judge that cannot determine the gender of a person votes against you, you were solidly slapped upside the head with a clue stick.

Next.

Not the Bee, 9-0

we need a picture to go with this:

Picture from Sundance

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1

O, irony

So caustic it burns.

‘You absolutely can’ identify as a cat: Soda-wielding Alabama student goes on insane rant about transgenderism: EXCLUSIVE VIDEO
A conservative University of Alabama student was drawn into a confrontation after a pro-trans student erased her chalk sign advertising a Riley Gaines event.

‘I’m going to go and uncover and f***ing destroy every piece of transphobic piece of garbage you put on the f***ing ground,’ the student said.

A pro-trans student recently defaced a display made by conservative students on the University of Alabama Campus. After pouring a ‘Dr. Pibb’ on the group’s event advertisement, the student engaged in debate, claiming that it is ‘absolutely’ possible to ‘identify as a cat.

Anybody else seeing the problem here? I’ll give ya a sec…

PROCESSING…PROCESSING…

Um, rilly now, MSRXXZZ Manwoman? DR PIBB?!? “Dr” is an antiquated, elitist term of the patriarchy, which no self-respecting Forward Thinker should ever deploy without first pre-emptively apologizing for hsxxzzz/hrxxzzz/itxxzzz microaggressive act of Literal Genocide© against Otherkins. Not unless they’re Saint Dr Jill/Joan of Biden, at least.

What exactly do you mean by purchasing/consuming this self-evidently transphobic, non-Progressive, revanchist, pronoun-denying, hypercapitalist, probably non-vegan fizzy-sugar-water product with the cis-het dollars your Mommylad and/or Daddygirl spend to keep and support you in Krayzee Kollege, anyway? It’s unhealthy, unsustainable, and full of deadly, GAIA-raping CO2 (the Silent Killer!), didn’t you know that? DON’T YOU CARE?!?

Bitch.

(Via Insty)

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1

Stump the chump

Better sit down and swallow whatever you might be drinking for this one, folks. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

30 Questions Likely To Stump The ‘Sharp’ And ‘Vigorous’ Joe Biden
Joe Biden has the greatest mental acuity of any president in the history of the United States — at least that’s what the White House wants you to believe.

Throughout the past week, regime-approved media and administration officials have twisted themselves into pretzels trying to gaslight Americans into believing Biden is as “sharp” and “vigorous” as he’s ever been, despite incident after incident showing he’s in mental decline. These laughable claims come in response to the release of the Hur report, which found that Biden mishandled classified documents but concluded that “no criminal charges are warranted in this matter” because the president “would likely present himself to the jury…as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.”

While corporate media will never admit it, Biden can barely answer basic questions, let alone complete a sentence. So, to bring a little humor to your day, The Federalist has compiled a list of 30 questions likely to stump America’s befuddled commander-in-chief.

  1. What day is it today?
  2. What are the names of your grandchildren? (And how many do you have…?)
  3. When is your birthday?
  4. What is a woman?
  5. Who’s the president of France?
  6. What year is it?
  7. When were you first elected to the Senate?
  8. What are the main ingredients in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Plenty more where those came from, and they’re a laff riot. In fairness to Amerika v2.0’s “pResident”-ish*** Tyrantosaurus Wrex, though, half the friggin’ country seems to be having trouble with Number 4, or at least are pretending to for various stupid reasons.

Actually, it’s a serious situation we’re in, one that isn’t really very funny at all. But hey, my personal philosophy has always been that if it’s either laugh or cry, then I’d much rather laugh.

4
1

Moar backstory

In an update to yesterday’s Boycott NYC post, The Real Trucker Jake mentions something the handful of us who even knew about it at all have probably forgotten about: in 2021, a trucker boycott brought the state of Colorado to heel toot damn sweet. So I looked it up.

What Happened with the Colorado Trucking Boycott?
The Colorado Trucking Boycott occurred during the last weeks of December 2021 in response to the sentencing of truck driver Rogel Aguilera-Mederos to 110-years in prison. He had been found guilty on 27 charges including four negligent homicide charges, and multiple first-degree assault and first-degree attempted assault charges stemming from an April 25, 2019 collision on I-70 west of Denver.

Rogel Aguilera-Mederos, a Cuban immigrant and rookie truck driver was traveling eastbound on I-70 near Lakewood, Colorado on April 25, 2019. It was his first time traveling through Colorado on I-70, a stretch of interstate with steep mountain grades that require proper training and experience to navigate safely in a commercial vehicle. Aguilera-Mederos, only 23 years old at the time, was in over his head.

He made multiple mistakes as he came down the mountain, taking his truck out of gear, and burning his brakes out. For reasons unknown, he bypassed the lone escape ramp available to him. As his truck, fully loaded with lumber, hurtled down the highway he encountered a traffic backup caused by an earlier collision. He attempted to take the shoulder to bypass the stopped cars until he came upon another big truck parked on the shoulder. He swerved back onto the highway and into a crash.

In the fiery aftermath, four individuals were killed and several others were injured. He went to trial on September 28, 2021, and on October 25, 2021, a jury found him guilty on 27 charges.

The severity of the sentence imposed upon Aguilera-Mederos caused an immediate backlash in the Latino and trucking communities. The argument was made by millions of individuals that the punishment was excessive in relation to the crime. One case, in particular, stood out in contrast to Aguilera-Mederos; that of Ethan Couch, a teenager driving under the influence of alcohol who killed four people. Rather than cooperate with authorities as Aguilera-Mederos had, Couch fled the country.

When he returned he was sentenced to 10 years of probation. The disparity between the sentences was a significant argument used by those who supported a fairer sentence for Aguilera-Mederos.

It is interesting to note that even the judge in the Aguilera-Mederos case was opposed to the 110-year sentence, however, his hands were tied by Colorado’s mandatory sentencing guidelines. Some have also argued that the prosecuting attorney knowingly arranged the charges to game the system of the mandatory guidelines in an effort to push Aguilera-Mederos into a plea deal.

They asked questions such as, “What happens if my brakes fail and I do everything right, and I still crash and hurt someone? Will I be sentenced to 110 years also?” The sentencing, for many drivers, made Colorado seem threatening, a danger to not only their livelihood but their freedom as well. With these concerns in mind and as a show of solidarity for a member of the trucking community, thousands of drivers came forward on TikTok, Facebook, and Twitter, to express their indignation at the sentencing and by the middle of December 2021, a full-fledged boycott of the state of Colorado was underway.

Images emerged of stopped trucks, lining the shoulders of highways at the border of the state, refusing to enter. Meanwhile, a Change.org petition had been started demanding that the governor of Colorado grant Aguilera-Mederos clemency. Roughly 5 million signatures were collected in the petition.

As December came to a close, the governor of Colorado under the strain of mounting public outcry and pressure, granted Aguilera-Mederos the clemency the public had been demanding. The sentence was reduced to 10 years which brought the punishment in line with other crimes of a similar nature.

Meanwhile, the prosecuting attorney, who elected to charge Aguilera-Mederos for the incident, neglected to pursue any charges against the company Aguilera-Mederos worked for, Castellano 03 Trucking LLC. They had a recent track record of flagrantly disregarding federal safety regulations with 30 violations during the two years leading up to the incident and among those violations was a habit of employing drivers who were unable to understand road signs written in English.

The day after the crash, the owner of Castellano 03 Trucking LLC, dissolved the company and registered a new company, Volt Trucking according to a 9NEWS investigative report. This new company is already racking up a lengthy record of trucker safety violations with their brakes and brake lines.

The question of whether or not the boycotts work remains unanswered. On the one hand, the implied economic impact upon a state is a severe threat, especially during a period when COVID-related shortages continue to impact supply chains. On the other hand, trucking is a highly competitive industry, and for every truck driver or trucking company who decides to participate in a boycott, there are many more who will ignore cries for such a measure and carry on with business as usual in the targeted state.

Ahh, but is that assumption correct? That sound you hear is Sam Kinison, saying he’d like a word regarding all that.

A-HENH. The sad, sorry fact is that the ziggurat of absurd obstacles to becoming a truck driver piled up by the Überstadt  (see my comment at Aesop’s joint for further details) guarantee that there can NEVER be enough drivers to meet the demand, and that any trucking company who dares to fire even a niggling percentage of their drivers for…oh, honoring a boycott, say, will NOT remain in the trucking business for long.

Bottom line: whether they know it or not, truck drivers don’t just have a lot of power in Amerika v2.0, they have pretty much ALL of it. Curiously enough, my long-maintained axiom that liberal/Leftism carries within itself the seeds of its own destruction pops immediately to mind. Needs to be formally codified as another of Mike’s Iron Laws, I’m thinkin’, which I will make happen soon’s as I can get around to it.

2

Make ’em PAY

Let’s just find out who really has the power here…and who does NOT.

Trump-supporting truckers vow their boycott could ‘shut New York City down’ after $355M fraud ruling
Truckers supporting Donald Trump are warning that their refusal to deliver to the Big Apple could paralyze New York City — as more drivers vow to join the boycott following the bombshell ruling in the former president’s civil fraud case.

“It could shut New York City down,” said Jennifer Hernandez, a trucker who has joined in the protest against Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron’s decision to fine Trump $355 million for inflating his net worth by billions to dupe banks and insurers.

Shut ‘em down? It could damned well starve ’em out, actually. Which would serve them right, far as I’m concerned. Let ‘em try chowing down on their own insufferable self-righteousness and sanctimony, see how much sustenance the shitlib asstards can draw from that.

Several other truckers have been posting on social media expressing their support.

One man even suggested the boycott could go on for three years.

“Keep on f—ing around, you’re going to find out, New York,” he said in a video posted to TikTok.

The boycott seemed to have been started by conservative social media influencer Chicago Ray, who posted a clip Friday saying he had spoken to some of his trucker colleagues who said they would stop making deliveries to the city starting Monday.

He claimed that 95% of truckers support the former president, and said the bosses of freight companies “ain’t gonna care if we deny the loads — we’ll just go somewhere else.”

(Fake)Newsweak, in their typically-dishonest fashion, tried mightily to portray Chicago Ray as having “backed down” and totally reconsidered his position (no link, look it up yourself if you don’t believe me), but that doesn’t appear to be the case at all.


Unexpectedly, NY’s governor seems to be fully alive to the disaster that even a small minority of truckers refusing to continue putting up with the extreme hassle, expense, and hazard both personal and professional of pulling loads into the Big Rotten Apple would result in for her state, issuing a preemptive “don’t worry, all is well” notice to justly-worried New Yorkers that she had to know wasn’t going to fool anybody.

The New York governor has told business owners in her state that there is “nothing to worry about” after Donald Trump was fined $355m and temporarily banned from engaging in commerce in the state when he lost his civil fraud trial Friday.

In an interview on the New York radio show the Cats Roundtable with the supermarket billionaire John Catsimatidis, Kathy Hochul sought to quell fears in some quarters that the penalties handed to Trump for engaging in fraudulent business practices could chill the state’s commercial climate.

Asked if businesspeople should be worried that if prosecutors could “do that to the former president, they can do that to anybody”, Hochul said: “Law-abiding and rule-following New Yorkers who are businesspeople have nothing to worry about because they’re very different than Donald Trump and his behavior.”

She added that the fraud case against Trump resulted from “really an extraordinary, unusual circumstance”.

True, dat; in fact, it’s quite unique, no one else ever before having been persecuted, harassed, and fleeced to the tune of half a billion fucking dollars (!!!)—along with two (2) of his sons—for a so-called “crime” that’s been committed by pretty much every living soul who ever applied for a loan, in the course of which one of the putative “victims” actually testified that Trump was, in essence, the very model of a model customer.

Trump never missed a loan payment, the credit reports and the banker’s testimony showed. In almost a decade as a borrower, Trump was never even late making a payment – not before, during, or after his presidency.

“So far as I can recall, the loans were performing,” the banker, Nicholas Haigh, told the judge in the non-jury trial, at which attorney general Letitia James seeks to banish Trump Organization from her state’s borders, and to ban Trump and his eldest sons from ever running a New York company again.

“And all the obligations of the borrower were met,” Trump attorney Jesus M. Suarez asked the banker in his next question.

“As far as I know, yes,” the banker answered.

If Trump’s prompt payments were not enough to burnish his borrower bona fides, the former president’s collateral also grew, the credit reports showed. It grew by millions each year, as the projects Deutsche Bank funded with $400 million in loans – his tower in Chicago, his golf resort in Miami, his luxury hotel in Washington DC – were developed.

And all the while, the bank made “millions” in interest, the banker testified, to that extent bolstering a frequent Trump defense talking point: that the fraud trial is a political grudge in search of a victim. Trump, who last week attended the first three days of the trial, is expected to return in person next week, The Messenger and the Associated Press reported.

That’s because, as everyone in the whole damned world knows, “a political grudge in search of a victim” is EXACTLY what this horseshit is. Trump is being persecuted by TPTB for the heinous crime of having the temerity to not be one of their clique and go ahead and run for “President” anyway. Why, the unmitigated GALL of the man! Uncle Peter, my smelling salts!!

Update! Via Irish.


Brings to mind a memorable Gandalf quote from Tolkien’s The Two Towers.

Gandalf:
It was more than mere chance that brought Merry and Pippin to Fangorn. A great power has been sleeping here for many long years. The coming of Merry and Pippin will be like the falling of small stones that starts an avalanche in the mountains.

Aragorn:
And one thing you have not changed, my friend.

Gandalf:
Hmm?

Aragorn:
You still speak in riddles.

Gandalf:
A thing is about to happen that has not happened since the elder days. The Ents are going to wake up…and find that they are strong.

And so they did—did they ever! God help “blue” America if ever the majority of truckers wake up one day and, like the Shepherds of the Trees of Fangorn Forest, realize just how strong they truly are.

5
4

The shakiest guns in the, umm, East

Q: Are cops in FLA the worst in the known universe?

A: Apparently, yes. Yes, they are.

Cop resigns after mistaking falling acorn for gunshot, firing at unarmed suspect cuffed in patrol car
A Florida cop resigned after opening fire on an unarmed black man who was handcuffed in his patrol car — because he confused the sound of an acorn hitting the vehicle with a muffled gunshot.

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Deputy Jesse Hernandez handed in his badge in December following the Nov. 12 Fort Walton Beach incident, officials said Friday.

Sgt. Beth Roberts, who also opened fire, was exonerated in an internal investigation and remained on the job, according to police.

The suspect, Marquis Jackson, was luckily uninjured, but the “situation was traumatic” for him, police acknowledged.

The video of the incident is…well, quite frankly, it’s pathetic.


If you look closely, you can see the falling acorn highlighted against one of the light-grey rowhouses in the background, just before it hits the roof and scares Officer Pissypants out of his meager wits. Next up, vid of the other trigger-happy Deppity Dawg blasting away in “support” of her panicky fellow Offissa Pupp and likewise hitting nothing much.


Uh huh, luckily. A pair of regular Deadeye Dicks, these two. And just never anybody mind that these shooty-shooty knuckleheads popped off thirty rounds most ricky-tick (depending on issue mag capacity, natch; it coulda been sixty)—smack dab in the middle of a residential neighborhood, mind—at a handcuffed “shooter” who, presumably, had been patted down by Sooperdoopercop before he was ever put into the patrol car, thus already verified to be unarmed.

Presumably.

So guess what the PD review board “investigation” concluded regarding this disgraceful fiasco? Go on, guess. I dares ya.

Investigators concluded that Hernandez was culpable for a “policy violation regarding excessive use of control to resistance,” but that Roberts’ “use of deadly force was objectively reasonable.”

No criminal charges were filed against either officer.

Yeah, I thought not. But…“control to resistance”? SRSLY?!? There WAS NO resistance, of any kind. How the hell could there have been? The “shooter” was securely cuffed and locked in the squad car’s perp seat, behind the standard doors without handles, therefore posed no conceivable threat to anybody, badged/heeled or no.

Meanwhile, according to another Tweet I saw, Marquis Jackson (who will doubtless be known as “Lucky” to the other hoodrats forevermore), was cleared of his vengeful ex-ho’s firearms-possession accusations against him.

So at the end of the day it’s a happy ending, I suppose: Hernandez is off the force and out of a job he was manifestly unsuited for, and Jackson is none the worse for wear. Well, apart from the heart-attack-inducing levels of stress brought on by being the helpless, immobilized schnook used for target practice during a hot-range double mag-dump by two (2) cops, neither of whom had any business ever being handed a badge and a gun in the first place, that is.

For 2A folks as well, there’s a cherry on top of this shit sundae: we can take some small comfort that if it’s timorous, overwrought, weak-sister incompetents such as Hernandez and Roberts who’ll be tasked with tippy-toeing door to door to confiscate the guns, then we probably don’t have a whole hell of a lot to worry about. They simply ain’t gonna be up to it, and if any hot-lead-exchange should break out, the Keystone Kops demonstrably couldn’t hit the broad side of a bull’s ass with a baseball bat if you gave ‘em three tries at it. The most serious hazard to firearms enthusiasts in such an eventuality will be parting a floating rib from its moorings, from laughing so damned hard at them.

I dunno, though; kinda makes me wonder if there might not be something to all that angst, dread, and fear the boogs have for years claimed to suffer from merely being in the general vicinity of uniformed 5-0 after all, though I’ve always dismissed that shit out of hand until now. Either way, somewhere out there the infamous “Broward Coward” must be breathing a deep sigh of relief at seeing this mind-bending clusterfuck, secure in the knowledge that he’s at last been outdone by the Excessively Dynamic Duo© and their assclownish antics.

1
2

Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke

Comedian David Lucas gives ‘em hell. Rather, he gives ‘em the plain and simple truth, and they think it’s hell.

‘I like Kyle Rittenhouse too!’ Comedian rips on George Floyd, black audience members storm out
Representing exhibit A in the case of why those readily triggered shouldn’t go to live comedy shows, David Lucas doubled down on controversy after daring to invoke the name of George Floyd during a set at the Kansas City Funny Bone.

The standup star, who built a career on MTV’s “Yo Momma” and later on the All Def Digital program “Roast Me” before opening for the likes of Joe Rogan and Louis CK, recently shared a video of an incident from a January performance where an interaction with a heckler went too far for some black audience members.

In a snippet of the incident shared by The Post Millenial’s senior editor Andy Ngô, Lucas had just finished unsuccessfully trying to talk an audience member to come on stage to get roasted and said, “All these f*ckin’ good a** white people at my show and you want to show them the reason George Floyd got his neck kneeled on?”

“Don’t ‘oo’ at that joke. It’s just a joke man. I would have never kneeled on George Floyd’s neck,” the comedian said as the audience had mixed reactions. “I would have shot that n*gga.”

A back-and-forth proceeded before the first of several audience members decided to bail on the rest of the performance with one man asserting to Lucas, “You need to know about George Floyd before you get yo a** up there talking about him. You really stoop low to be funny don’t you know that.”

“It’s called comedy,” the comedian replied before another group felt he “took it too far” and chafed at the jokes.

“I can tell you voted for Biden,” Lucas ripped as one woman made a production of leaving the show. “You already bought that VIP ticket. I already got that $42.”

“Buy a t-shirt on the way out too. I got a Make America Roast Again shirt in the style of Trump,” the comedian added.

With another parting shot, he riled those offended by jokes about the May 2020 death of Floyd in police custody by calling back to an incident that happened amid the ensuing riots and said, “I like Kyle Rittenhouse too!”

In sharing over 16 minutes of the show on YouTube, Lucas had titled the video “Controversial Joke Infuriates Crowd, Show Spirals Out of Control,” and days after it was posted, the same attitude that led to the walkouts had him pointing out on Facebook, “[I’m] currently getting ‘Cancelled’ for a joke, and i do not apologize about the joke at All, i will continue to joke about Everything.”

Good on ya, Dave, you damned sure got the right idea about what cutting-edge comedy is supposed to be all about—NOTHING sacred, NOTHING out of bounds, NOTHING off limits, NO bridge too far, NO topic too hot to touch. Shouldn’t oughta have bought a ticket if they can’t handle the ride. Keep sticking to your guns no matter what, it really is the only way.

3
3

Another day…

…another deranged “transgender” Manwoman© shooting up the place.

Here’s Everything We Know About the Megachurch Shooter
The now-deceased gunman who opened fire inside a famous Texas megachurch run by Joel Osteen Sunday afternoon has been identified as an identity-switching Hispanic woman with pro-Palestine, antisemitic beliefs.

36-year-old Genesse Ivonne Moreno, a biological female who used multiple male aliases, was wearing a trench coat when she entered the Houston-based Lakewood Church with two rifles, a backpack, and a young child by her side around 2 p.m. Sunday.

According to Commander Christopher Hassig of HPD’s homicide division during Monday’s press conference, the sticker simply stated “Palestine” on the long gun’s buttstock. In addition to the Anderson-manufacturing AR-15, which she used to carry out the church shooting, Moreno possessed a .22 caliber rifle by Blue Line Solutions on her person, but it was not fired at the time.

Authorities have also uncovered “antisemitic writings” in Moreno’s possession.

Hassig said police believe there was “a familiar dispute” that took place between her ex-husband and her ex-husband’s family. “Some of those individuals are Jewish. So, we believe that might possibly be where all of this stems from,” Hassig stated.

Dayumm, a possible self-gassing Jew for the Nutjob Trifecta too? I admit, I did NOT see that coming.

There were two victims injured: The seven-year-old boy, allegedly used as a human shield, was hit during the exchange of gunfire and taken to Texas Children’s Hospital in critical condition; a 57-year-old man, an innocent bystander, was shot in the leg.

The child caught in the crossfire suffered a gunshot to the head and remains hospitalized.

Moreno is the child’s biological mother. She’s posted “#momlife” and “#motherandson” content with pictures of a boy in her care.

In the past, Moreno assumed the altar-ego Jeffery Escalante as well as other male-presenting personas.

Moreno’s Facebook page—which expressed leftist, anti-police views—has since been scrubbed. Moreno’s since-deleted Instagram account featured posts of her cleaning an AR-15 and donating money to Lakewood Church. There, she uploaded a screenshot of the contribution’s confirmation. “[A]s for me and my household…I will honor and bless my church,” Moreno wrote on Instagram.

In the lead-up to the 2020 presidential election, Moreno supported socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT). “I WANT HIM IN THE OFFICE AS THE US PRESIDENT,” she wrote in an Instagram post, uploading a photograph of Sanders on the campaign trail.

Arrest records show she was an El Salvadoran immigrant.

Jesus tapdancin’ Christ, is there any present-day socio/political/personal pathology this pluperfect looney-tooney doesn’t represent? Of course you know what this means, right? To wit: all normal, sane Real Americans who never shot anybody and never will must yield up their 2A rights immediately so something like this can never, ever happen again. Best-case scenario: the whole sad, sorry story will be alacritously hurled down the memory hole in 3…2…1…

4
1

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