GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Wait, whut?

Fart rape? Now we’re all supposed to be all concerned and het up about FART RAPE, of all the cockamamie…?

Sorry ladies, y’all are gonna have to peddle that crapola someplace else. Ain’t no market for it over here, I’m afraid.

Y’know, time was you’d see some absurdity like this and could safely assume it was the work of a random prankster having a laugh at the opposition’s expense. Nowadays, though, the Left has gone so completely bugfuck nuts you can’t do that anymore. Sad, right?

(Via CederQ)

Nice try

But still no cigar, Snakehead.

‘Turns People Off’: James Carville Suggests It’s Time For Far-Left Dems To Show Themselves The Door
Democratic strategist James Carville suggested in a Tuesday video that far-left individuals should formally break away from the Democratic Party.

Among Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents, 45% would prefer the Democratic Party become “more moderate,” according to Gallup polling published in February. Carville, in a Politicon video, argued that far-left elements are hurting the party’s appeal and proposed “a schism” as a possible solution.

“The only thing I’d ask is just don’t use the word ‘Democratic’ in any title that you have, because most Democrats that I know that are running for office don’t want your name, don’t want you to be part of the deal,” Carville said. “Yeah, sure, they would be glad to take your votes. Who wouldn’t? Everybody wants to get as many votes as they can. Maybe you come up with your own name.”

Sorry to have to remind you, James ol’ buddy ol’ pal, but the stubborn fact is that 45% is NOT a majority—not even close, really—and I strongly suspect that this minority dwindles further each and every day. Maybe it’s actually YOU who needs to consider ditching your misbegotten criminal organization masquerading as a political party and try something new.

(Via Ace)

Forget, hell!

Unreconstructed Southron Baron Bodissey reports—with pitchers—on the ceremony commemorating the anniversary of the Appomattox tragedy/disaster.

Appomattox: Lest We Forget
This afternoon I attended a ceremony marking the 160th anniversary of the surrender of the Army of Northern Virginia (which I often sardonically refer to as “the Confederate Nakba”). It was organized by the Appomattox chapter of the United Daughters of the Confederacy, and took place at the Confederate Cemetery in the Appomattox Court House National Historical Park. The cemetery itself is on a plot of land that isn’t part of the historical park, and is owned by the UDC rather than the federal government. As a result, at that location we unreconstructed Confederates can engage in our customary activities without being busted for hate speech or otherwise interfered with.

The occasion began with a prayer. We then pledged allegiance to all three flags: the US flag, the Virginia flag, and the Confederate battle flag. Yes, I know some of those pledges are mutually exclusive, but nobody seems to care.

Speak for yourself on that one, young feller. Anyhoo. Onwards.

Following that there were a few brief speeches, several songs, and some reading of poetry. UDC members in widow’s weeds placed a rose by each grave, and two little girls set up battle flags next to each headstone. There are nineteen soldiers buried in the cemetery, all but seven of them unknown, including a solitary Union soldier (who got the Stars and Stripes next to his headstone).

Fuckin’ bluebellied Yankee sumbitch. Anyhoo. Onwards.

Then a number of wreaths were presented and placed next to the memorial stone by representatives of the groups that donated them, mostly chapters of the UDC or camps of the Sons of Confederate Veterans (SCV). Not all of the groups were local: one of the SCV camps that presented a wreath was based in Honolulu, Hawaii.

All in all, it was an excellent occasion. It was a reminder — at least for me — that the Confederate battle flag is not about slavery or tariffs or even states’ rights, but rather a symbol of resistance to tyranny, and a reminder that Virginia was invaded and devastated by an alien army.

Deo Vindice!

That penultimate paragraph pretty much says it all, far as I’m concerned.

UNEXPECTED! ™

Gee, what a shocker: Professional shitlib “male feminist” turns out to to be sicko stalker.

So Another Male Feminist Turns Out to Be a Social Media Perv
Give some credit to young Democrat hustle(r) Harry Sisson, reluctant as you may be, for turning some small amount of social media savvy into a lucrative career as a progressive influencer — not to mention all those sweet young ladies that the 23-year-old professional Democrat has reportedly tried to con into sending him their most intimate photos of themselves.

Sisson likes to play a male feminist on social media, you’ll be shocked to learn.

“America failed women tonight,” Sisson posted to X after Donald Trump won reelection last November. “Trump bullied, assaulted, and stripped reproductive rights away from women all across the country, and instead of standing up, we let it happen.”

That’s the kind of “insight” Sisson regularly posts that has somehow amassed him 1.7 million TikTok followers and nearly 300,000 on X.

Sisson seems to have enjoyed a childhood of privilege — he spent parts of his early life in Dubai and Dublin before settling down in the U.S. at 17 — but the identity and occupation of his parents seem to be unavailable. Nevertheless, his net worth is estimated at anywhere from $800,000 to $8.5 million. Even the low end would be impressive for someone who has yet to hit the quarter-century mark and who doesn’t seem to have ever produced a good or service in the private sector.

Exactly what he does aside from attending New York University and posting on social media I can’t tell.

Oh, yeah — he also creeps on women while playing the male feminist.

There’s nothing new about young men of means trying to bed various women, and there has never been a lack of women willing to bed young men of means. Human nature is what it is. But doing so while posing as a noble defender of women’s rights is too hypocritical to let pass.

A few important things for these women to remember here: 1) at some point, those photos are going to end up splashed all across the am-pr0n Intarwebs, a near-inevitability that even Sisson himself will be powerless to prevent; and 2) as all the cool kids say, Teh Intarwebs is forever—which means your XXX twat-shots (“private”? It is to laugh) on PornHub and such-like sites ain’t ever going away. Which in turn means that yes, your kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, if any, will be just one (1) easy-peasy Google, Duck Duck Go, or Luxxle search away from running across them some fine day.

Sorry, ladies, but no amount of weeping, wailing, and/or gnashing of teeth is going to change any of the above. Have a nice day.

(Via Steve Green)

Update! Ace notes an amusing aspect:

The surprising thing isn’t that a male liberal influencer is a pervert and user.

What’s shocking here is that Harry (S)isson is… straight? Sort of?!

A real stunner of a surprise of a jaw-dropper, I agree.

Updated update! Just noticed another amusing aspect. To wit:

“America failed women tonight,” Sisson posted to X after Donald Trump won reelection last November. “Trump bullied, assaulted, and stripped reproductive rights away from women all across the country, and instead of standing up, we let it happen.”

Don’t know if you’d call the bit I boldfaced a misnomer or an oxymoron or just what, but I has questions. For one thing, slaughtering your gestating infant “women’s health care” is NOT any kind of right. For another, how can it be “reproductive” when the whole point of the exercise is to avoid reproducing? I know, I know, I need to try harder to keep up with shitlib Doublespeak, linguistic inversions, and wilfull reversal of the meanings and definitions of plain, ordinary words. But still.

Truckers’ wisdom

Found this over at Bayou Peter’s joint, and it’s mighty intriguing.

Hopefully that’s not too small for older eyes to be able to read; if so, there’s a bigger version at BRM you might try. For his part, Peter modestly admits:

I don’t regularly drive on ice and snow (thank you, Texas weather!), but from my (very) limited exposure to it, I know I don’t do well under those driving conditions. I’d never considered the hazards of commercial vehicles, particularly 18-wheeler truck/trailer combinations, when their drivers have the same problem. Now that drivers can come in from Mexico (where snow isn’t exactly commonplace, to put it mildly) and drive all the way to the US/Canadian border or even further north, I can see that would make for…interesting times on the highway.

“Interesting” in the apocryphal Chinese curse sense, he means.

In my own case, me and several friends of mine took advantage of a snow-day school cancellation when we were teenagers to get out on our high school’s expansive, snow-and-ice-coated parking lot to spin donuts, lock up the brakes and slide, and just generally act like idjits all afternoon, intentionally teaching ourselves how to drive on the slippery stuff. Ever since then, I’ve had no problems driving on anything but actual black ice, which nobody can really drive on anyway, not even experienced, highly-skilled Hollywood stunt drivers.

Update! It occurs to me that some of y’all might be interested to hear more about the truck driver’s trials and tribulations on snow and/or ice, from the perspective of someone who’s been there and done that. When it comes to operating a standard-sized sleeper tractor/53’ trailer rig on snow and ice, it all boils down to one simple word: DON’T. Not if you can possibly avoid it, at any rate. No matter how skilled you are, how well-trained, how experienced, nothing good can ever come of it.

Regardless of how slow, attentive, and careful you are behind the wheel, maintaining control on the slick stuff is a matter not of ability but of sheer, unadulterated luck. That’s it, that really is all there is to it. Tap them gingerly, stomp them (NEVER a good idea, actually), gently press and release over and over again, I never could find a way to keep the brakes from locking up in snowy/icy road conditions. Whereupon the trailer would begin to slooooowly jackknife, and there was not one damned thing you could do to keep it straight and following behind the tractor where it’s supposed to be. Fully loaded or empty, didn’t matter: the trailer had a mind of its own, and did not respond to any of my increasingly-desperate inputs from the cab. I had always figured having some weight behind me would be helpful in such straits, but nope.

There is/was no horror quite as paralyzing as having almost the entire side of my trailer appear in the side-view mirror, freewheeling along willy-nilly without a care in the world. One time, creeping down the mountain-top from Hendersonville pulling a just-unloaded trailer, I looked on in helpless terror as my empty trailer hove into view in the right-side mirror, sweeping majestically around as if it intended to scrub the poor little old man in a mid-sized car I was passing right off the highway and into the deep valley below. Steering and counter-steering like a madman, mildly stab-braking trying to get my rogue trailer back into proper alignment, nothing I tried seemed to have any real effect.

Meanwhile, the old guy was completely unaware of the life-and-death drama unfolding all around him. Somehow, some way, the trailer DID straighten back out again without making contact with the other vehicle, and I continued on down the mountain switchbacks bathed in a flop-sweat as the huge flakes kept falling thickly, intensely grateful for the miraculous sparing of that poor oblivious geezer’s life…THIS time. A bona fide miracle with which I had nothing whatsoever to do, one way or the other.

I still have nightmares about that little misadventure. Which is just jake with me, honestly; coulda been a hell of a lot worse, I know that.

Personal pet peeve

This one has been making my teeth grind for years now. To wit:


See that “honeypot” bushwa? Near as I can make out, it was Rush Limbaugh who originally popularized this verbal faux pas. The correct term used by the intel community since forever is honey TRAP, not POT. Please make a note of it, lest you wind up putting yourself on the fightin’ side of me.

Man, that Roy Nichols sure knew his way around that sweet sounding Tele of his, didn’t he?

Jurassic Media “big names” taking The Walk

This hurts me so, so much, I just…I just can’t even.

And Another One Gone: Veteran NBC News Anchor Heads for the Exit
Joyless (ok, I’ll be a good boy, her name is Joy) Reid is out at MSNBC. TrumpHating fanatic Jim Acosta was relegated to a dismal timeslot at CNN, so he took his ball and went home. He resigned and is now doing podcasts that have less production quality than “Wayne’s World.” Chris Wallace, who left Fox News for greener pastures at CNN, announced his departure from that network less than a week after Trump’s November election win. Norah O’Donnell “voluntarily” gave up the anchor chair made famous by fibbing Dan Rather, delivering her last broadcast on January 23. Former “Meet the Press” host Chuck Todd left NBC in January.

They’re dropping like flies.

And now, there’s another one gone: after ten years manning the anchor’s desk at NBC News, Lester Holt is saying goodbye.

That’s a seriously scrumptious litany of shitlib “journolismist” luminaries up there in that first ‘graph, one sure to gladden the heart of any ReichWingNaziDeathBeast OG Blogger such as li’l ol’ moi. Keep the updates coming, Bob, I beg of you. As for the execrable Lester Holt: See ya, wouldn’t wanna BE ya, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord etc etc.

Update! And while we’re on the subject, an email update from the NY Post just came over the transom with further deets on KillJoy Reid’s Long Goodbye.

Joy Reid bid farewell as MSNBC hosts compare her show’s sudden cancellation to ‘losing a limb’ during emotional segment
Ousted MSNBC host Joy Reid welcomed her fellow network stars onto her canceled show during its last minutes on Monday night to bid her a final farewell and reflect on their time together.

The network announced the sudden cancellation of “The ReidOut” on Sunday night after four and a half years on the air.

Reid used her final hour on television for the foreseeable future to remind her audience about the importance of remaining vigilant and advocating against “fascism” as she welcomed MSNBC anchors Rachel Maddow, Nicolle Wallace, and Lawrence O’Donnell to the broadcast.

The show’s axing came amid restructuring at the network following former MSNBC President Rashida Jones’ departure and Rebecca Kutler’s take over. Reid’s show was also highly controversial following her frequent criticism of white people and focus on issues like Black Lives Matter, the Israel-Palestine conflict, immigration, and other polarizing topics.

Not a single damned one of which the stupid bint knows anything whatsoever about, mind.

The liberal host has also been a frequent critic of President Donald Trump, who even celebrated her show’s cancellation and deemed her an “obnoxious racist.”

Which, of course, is perfectly true and accurate.

Reid lauded Maddow for her praise and returned her compliments by unofficially knighting her as the network’s “fearless leader.”

Wallace went a step further and even equated Reid’s departure to “losing a limb.”

“And I think that my reaction to the end of ‘The ReidOut’ and your departure is despair. And the only thing that chips away at that for me, is that despair is the autocrat’s tool. It’s their most effective weapon. It costs nothing. It’s easy to deploy, it’s contagious. And then it puts in motion all the actions they want. Hopelessness. Isolation. Exasperation. Giving up. And so the only reason I will not wallow in what I feel about you leaving is, is because I think that’s what they want,” Wallace said.

Aww, the poor widdle dear. Cwy me a river, cupcake; get it alllll out, you’ll feel a lot better. Normally, I’m not one to recommend despair to anybody as a coping mechanism, but in your case I’m willing to make an exception, just this once.

The plain, simple, and wholly obvious Truth

Ohh, shitlib D卐M☭CRATs (BIRM) ain’t gonna like this. Not a-TALL, they ain’t.

Jeremiad To The Democrats The First: Abandon The Fucking Idiot Transsexual Woke Bullshit
All of it.

ALL. OF. IT.

That’s going to be the overarching lesson for the first few of these. But because there’s so much social justice bullshit, I’m going to have to break these lessons up to cover different types of social justice warrior bullshit.

Lesson the First: Abandon your transsexual madness.

  • Cut out all the transsexual bullshit. Sex is not a social construct. There are two sexes, male and female. If you have XY chromosomes, you are male. If you have XX chromosomes, you are female. A man cannot make himself into a woman by any means, and certainly not by simply declaring he’s a woman. Stop pretending otherwise. Stop pretending that “gender” is “fluid.” Stop pretending that a few odd genetic corner cases give you permission to pretend a man wearing a dress is a woman. Stop enabling mental illness. We’re not playing anymore.
  • Get your fucking child-mutilating hands off children. If you insane, mentally ill perverts want to mutilate your own damn body, fine. Not my circus, not my monkeys. But when you start mutilating the genitalia of children and start sterilizing children for life, fuck you and every one of your virtue-signaling comrades and expect to lose every election between now and the heat death of the universe.
  • Stop putting men pretending to be women into women’s prisons. Democrats go to great lengths to assure the public they’re against rape, but when it comes down to preventing rape or enabling their virtue signaling, Democratic prison officials across the country have decided they’re just fine and dandy with rape. Just as with UK’s Labour government being just fine with systemic child rape of British women by unassimilated Muslim immigrants in the Rotherham et. al. scandals being an acceptable price to pay for more “multicultural” voters, so too the Democratic Party seems to think repeated rape of incarcerated women by male felons claiming to be woman is necessary for the greater glory of “social justice.”
  • Stop asking government to pay for “sex change operations” for illegal aliens and convicted felons. Remember how Kamala Harris’ promise to pay for sex changes for illegal aliens in 2020 came back to bite her in the ass in 2024. Like I said, if you freaks want to pay to mutilate yourself, we don’t give a rat’s ass. But when ordinary people are having trouble paying for food because of the lingering inflation from the Biden Recession, they get angry when you use their tax dollars to pay for idiot virtue-signaling bullshit. Ditto Julian Castro’s absurd pimping of “transgender abortion.”
  • Cut out the bullshit euphemisms. Mutilating a child’s genitalia isn’t “gender affirming care,” it’s evil perversion we will hold you to account for performing. Likewise:
  • Stop pretending that refusing to indulge in the mentally ill delusion that someone is a different sex than the one they were born with is “literally killing them.” “Do what I say or I’ll kill myself” has never been a morally acceptable threat, and studies show that mutilating people in the name of “gender affirming care” doesn’t decrease the risk of suicide. Quite the opposite: “The results of this study indicate that patients who have undergone gender affirmation surgery are associated with significantly higher risks of suicide, self-harm, and PTSD compared to general population control groups.”

Annnnd KABOOM! Nailed it, clean and tight. THEY ain’t gonna like it, but I most certainly do—not that they’ll heed a word of it, much less listen. Which, y’know, is kinda tough to do anyhow with fingers jammed in each ear as you sing TRALALALALA at top volume till your throat is raw and your face is turning blue. Yet more rich, buttery goodness over at the Battleswarm hang.

Harry WHO again, now?

Riley Gaines pWnZ an exceptionally clueless fucking chump.


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The race thing

Scott Pinsker kicks it around a bit, most of which I agree with, some of which I do not.

Very Respectfully, ‘White Privilege’ Is a Steaming Load of Crap

DING! First disagreement, however piddling: “Respectfully’s” ass; Leftist cretins who constantlty howl about “White privilege” get no respect whatever from me. Onwards.

Not too long ago, it was considered taboo to draw unnecessary attention to someone’s ethnicity, skin color, or racial identity. Black, white, brown — whatever: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. made such a compelling argument about judging each other on the “content of our character” instead of the color of our flesh that he thoroughly discredited his opponents.

This was one of the less-publicized legacies of King: He made racism sound pretty stupid. (Of course, it is.)

Collectively, we judged Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. by the content of his character and wished we could be more like him. Being a racist was just about the worst thing you could be!

So if you’re over the age of 40, you’ve had friends, teammates, acquaintances, dates, classmates, and colleagues of all kinds of different ethnicities. Most of the time, your conversations never pertained to skin color; it was irrelevant. It’s not that you were unaware of racial distinctions; after all, noting that white and black people look different doesn’t make you racist — it makes you minimally observant. But why bring it up?

Let’s face it, if the most interesting thing about someone is their ethnicity, they’re probably a boring person. And who wants to be friends with someone boring?

This MLK approach to race led to impressive results within an astonishingly short period of time: Just a few decades after “colored” restrooms, segregation, and other examples of actual systemic racism, America changed.

We even elected a black president!

Yeah, THERE’S something to really be proud of. Tell me, how’d putting Bathhouse Barry in the Oval Office work out for ya in the end? For America? For pretty much everybody on the whole goddamned planet?!?

I’m fine with King’s “content of character, not color of skin” argument, for whatever that’s worth. That said, anyone, black OR white, who tries to contend that, in the US at least, there aren’t fundamental differences between Blacks and Whites is gonna end up falling flat on his face…a face that has egg all over it, just to play my favorite game of mixing a few metaphors here.

During my first trip across the Pond (England, to be specfic), I noticed that European Nee-grows were not at ALL like our homegrown variety. Without exception, they talked like the Whypeepuh around them, dressed like them, walked like them, behaved like them. At Heathrow airport; riding the Tube; in the streets and shops of London; way out on the North Sea Coast near Great Yarmouth, even, I was astonished to observe that, despite plenty of Pyrsynzz of Chocolate all around me, I never saw a single nigger anywhere I went. Same-same in Helsinki, Pori, Aitoo, Amsterdam, Maastricht, any- and everywhere. Black people, sure; niggers, emphatically NO.

Curious, innit? Why, one might almost conclude that what we’re looking at here is less a racial phenomenon and more a cultural one.

Beginning with Clarence Burch, Fritz Moore, Reggie Graham, and Harry T McDowell in elementary school—all of whom had standing play-date invites from my parents, over which I’m sure said parents would’ve caught heat from at least a couple of the neighbors—I’ve had Black friends my entire life. I have plenty of ’em still—male and female, young, old, and in-between—and though I’ve never broached the topic of racial distinctions in America with any of them, sooner or later most of THEM have. Those conversations reveal a strong concensus opinion amongst my Black friends, expressed bluntly by my good friend of many years’ standing Mel: “If some White yuppie girl you know ever tries to tell you there ain’t no such thing as a nigger, you tell her from me she don’t know enough Black people yet.”

Now, Mel just happens to be one of the hardest working, most industrious and enterprising dudes I ever have known, of any race or ethnicity: a handsome, natty-dressing family-man type who prides himself on taking good care of his five children, although he HAS been known to step out on his wife once in a rare while—momentary lapses he owned up to fully with the wife, and tried to make amends for as best he could. Good thing, too; Mel’s ol’ lady, a wonderful woman I also know well (HELLA good cook, too; she and Mel both are, actually), just ain’t nobody to mess around with like that, she simply won’t stand for such.

Not wishing to hurt Mel’s feelings or insult him in any way, I eschew the N-word around him, although he’ll blithely throw it in now and again himself when he deems it appropriate. Which, y’know, he sometimes does; he’s usually right about it, too. As CF Lifers already know, I don’t hold back on deploying the word ‘round here, if only to shock, horrify, and antagonize any shitlibs who may have wandered in by mistake. Because, y’know, FUCK them, that’s why.

There are indeed distinctions to be made between American Whites and Nee-grows, a great many of ‘em, and vive la différence, I say. It’s always been my opinion that those distinctions ought not be denied but actively, enthusiastically celebrated, having brought us such worthwhile things as jazz, back-porch blues, and rock and roll; top-notch athletes in every sport; gifted stage and/or screen actors; even some damned excellent writers like, say, the awesome Chester Hymes, among others.

Yep, there are many differences, both subtle and profound, between Blacks and Whites in this country; may it ever be thus. As the saying goes, variety is the spice of life; right straight to hell, then, with the uninteresting, insipid café au lait-colored admixtures the shitlibs work so assiduously to cram down our throats.

Publick Announcement

Sorry ‘bout giving Memezapoppin’ a miss this week, gang, but after receiving a whole slew of truly toothsome T-day-related memes this past week via a private arch-con email list I’m a proud member of—which boasts a solid line-up of some of the most trusted names in ReichWingNaziDeathBeast© blogdom—I thought I’d use some of ‘em for my regularly-scheduled Friday Substack thang,  which will be up in a trice.

Don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful, y’all.

Update! As diligent CF watchers have no doubt gathered already from the Donnybrook update above, she’s up and running as promised.

That which doesn’t kill me

Makes me stronger.

I ate like Trump for a week. I don’t understand how the man is still alive
It was a picture that revealed more than just Donald Trump’s inner circle. Following the jubilation of the US election, the grinning president-elect was pictured on board Trump Force One tucking into a McDonald’s with Elon Musk and Robert F Kennedy Jr. Donald Trump Jr, seated to his right, would later joke that Mr Kennedy Jr’s mission to “make America healthy again” would have to wait until “tomorrow”. Mr Trump’s penchant for fast food was once again in the spotlight. But what does his diet consist of?

Breakfast – nothing. Lunch – nothing. Dinner – a McDonald’s, KFC, pizza or a well-done steak. Twelve Diet Cokes a day, and snacking on Doritos. The man appointed to become his own health secretary, RFK Jr, described what Trump eats as “poison”.

“His diet is exceptionally poor,” agrees Telegraph nutritionist Sam Rice. “It’s unbalanced, with far too many ultra-processed foods, too much saturated fat from red and processed meat, simple carbohydrates that can cause sugar spikes and lead to insulin resistance. It’s also low in fibre and gut-friendly plant foods. The copious amount of Diet Coke he drinks, which contains the artificial sweetener aspartame – identified as a possible carcinogen by the World Health Organisation – makes his diet a nutritional nightmare.”

The sissy-mary went on the Trump diet for a week, and says it damned near kilt him. Me, I’m with Al Bundy.

It’s always made me tired, how so many Righty bloggers want to whimper and whine about how godawful McDonalds is, as if the mere thought of eating a Big Mac suddenly transmogrifies them into the Leftards their bitching makes them sound so much like. Is McDonalds the best burger ever? Of course not. But will a Quarter Pounder or McDouble do when you’re in a rush, are hungry, and there just happens to be a Mickey Ds drive-thru on your way to wherever you have to be shortly? Of course it will.

Leave the sniffy, über-sanctimonious disdain for the corporate grab ’n’ grub fare to the shitlibs, sayeth I; they’ll always be better at it anyway, having had so much more practice. You can definitely be sure that finding common ground with you over the appalling toxicity of junk food isn’t going to make them hate you any less.

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Bitch slap!

I’m nothing like as avid a fan of the Sweet Science as my brother Jeff is, and never claimed to be. Even so, I’ve been watching boxing since way back when Muhammed Ali was still Cassius Clay. So gimme a break here, I’m not a total dilettante. Be all that as it may, I found this story amusing as hell.

Mike Tyson slapped Jake Paul for stepping on his foot as their pre-fight weigh-in boiled over. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Tyson smacked Paul in the face at the Las Colinas, Texas, event ahead of their Friday boxing match at AT&T Stadium.

Paul responded, “He hits like a bitch … He must die.”

Tyson claims to have not even heard him.

The smack was Tyson’s reaction to upstart Paul stepping on his toe, which he thinks may have been on purpose.

“I was in my socks and he had on shoes,” Tyson told The Post moments after the weigh-in. “He stepped on my toe because he is a f–king a–hole. I wanted to think it happened by accident. But now I think it may have happened on purpose.

On purpose? You bet your sweet bippy it was—seems like before most any heavyweight bout, there’s usually some hyped-up half-a-fracas or other along these lines at the weigh-in. Still: amusing. Video at the link, for those of you who are into this sort of thing.

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Scary Halloween music

Via my brother-from-another-mother BCE, this one should fit the bill. A preface, from Big Country himself.

Mongolian throat singing with metal and traditional Mongolian musical instruments… and another side note: The two string ‘guitar’ is a morin khuur which is the national instrument of Mongolia and is known as the “horse-headed fiddle”… in a few of their videos, you can plainly see the Swastika imbedded in the neck as it was originally intended to be, but freaks out the left so badly…

These guys are as awesome as you can imagine live as well. Funniest thing: NONE of them speak any English except the lead singer who’s main phrase was “FUCK YEEEEEAH!!!” which was hysterical…

He ain’t lying about all that, friends, as you can see.

More, from the “About” page of this downright frightening musical ensemble’s official website.

In 2019, an NPR story put a spotlight on “a band from Mongolia that blends the screaming guitars of heavy metal and traditional Mongolian guttural singing,” accurately highlighting the cultural importance and unique musical identity of THE HU. Founded in 2016 in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, THE HU, Gala, Jaya, Temka, and Enkush, are a modern rock group rooted in the tradition of their homeland. The band’s two most popular videos, “Yuve Yuve” and “Wolf Totem,” were produced by the band’s producer Dashka. The band’s name translates to the Mongolian root word for human being, and their unique approach blends instruments like the Morin Khuur (horsehead fiddle), Tovshuur (Mongolian guitar), Tumur Khuur (jaw harp) and throat singing withcontemporary sounds, creating a unique sonic profile that they call “Hunnu Rock.”

Their debut album, 2019 ‘s The Gereg, debuted at #1 on the World Album and Top New Artist Charts. With it, the band have accumulated over 250 million combined streams and video views to date and have received critical acclaim from the likes of Billboard, NPR, GQ, The Guardian, The Independent, Revolver, and even Sir Elton John himself.

Proving their global appeal, THE HU have sold out venues across the world in North America, Europe, Asia, and Australia, with scheduled festival appearances at Coachella, Lollapalooza, Download Festival, and more, creating a community of fans from all walks of life. They quickly grabbed the attention of the industry, leading to collaborations with Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach and Lzzy Hale of Halestorm. And most recently, the band received praise from fans and critics for their Mongolian rendition of Metallica’s “Sad But True,” which Metallica picked up on and invited them to record ‘Through The Never’ for their Metallica Blacklist album released in 2021 alongside other high-profile guest artists like Miley Cyrus, Chris Stapleton, Phoebe Bridgers, J Balvin, St. Vincent, and so many more. The band has also explored eclectic ways to reach audiences with their sound, most notably writing and recording music for EA Games’ Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order.

The aforementioned Metallica cover is pretty awesome as well, but what really struck me most of all wasn’t so much the music but the gracious, becomingly humble acknowledgement at the end of the YT vid:

Like millions of people around the world, Metallica has been a huge influence and inspiration for us as music fans and musicians. We admire their 40 years of relentless touring and the timeless, unique music they have created. It is a great honor to show them our respect and gratitude by recording a version of “Sad But True” in our language and in the style of the HU.

Well, you can’t say fairer than that. And all’s well as ends better, as my old Gaffer liked to say, bless him.

Update! Dagnabbit, don’t know how, but this gin-yoo-wine CF institution almost got by me this year.

Ahh, the wonderful old chestnut from Jumpin’ Gene Simmons—no, not THAT Gene Simmons, the earlier, funnier one. I’ve run his version of “Haunted House” every Halloween on Ye Aulde Colde Furye Blogge for more years than I care to remember; it mortifies me to think that this year I durn near forgot. Thankfully, though, this tired old brain came through for us ere the end.

MORTIFIES, get me? A-HENH!

Updated update! What the hell, a backgrounder on Temüjin, a/k/a Genghis the Khan seems apropos.

Genghis Khan (born Temüjin; c. 1162 – August 1227), also known as Chinggis Khan, was the founder and first khan of the Mongol Empire. After spending most of his life uniting the Mongol tribes, he launched a series of military campaigns, conquering large parts of China and Central Asia.

Born between 1155 and 1167 and given the name Temüjin, he was the eldest child of Yesugei, a Mongol chieftain of the Borjigin clan, and his wife Hö’elün. When Temüjin was eight, his father died and his family was abandoned by its tribe. Reduced to near-poverty, Temüjin killed his older half-brother to secure his familial position. His charismatic personality helped to attract his first followers and to form alliances with two prominent steppe leaders named Jamukha and Toghrul; they worked together to retrieve Temüjin’s newlywed wife Börte, who had been kidnapped by raiders. As his reputation grew, his relationship with Jamukha deteriorated into open warfare. Temüjin was badly defeated in c. 1187, and may have spent the following years as a subject of the Jin dynasty; upon reemerging in 1196, he swiftly began gaining power. Toghrul came to view Temüjin as a threat and launched a surprise attack on him in 1203. Temüjin retreated, then regrouped and overpowered Toghrul; after defeating the Naiman tribe and executing Jamukha, he was left as the sole ruler on the Mongolian steppe.

As it happens, the vast empire established by the great Genghis Khan remains the largest of all time, by a broad margin. The Brits, the Spaniards, the Dutch? Stop it already, you make me laugh.

The Mongol Empire of the 13th and 14th centuries was the largest contiguous empire in history. Originating in present-day Mongolia in East Asia, the Mongol Empire at its height stretched from the Sea of Japan to parts of Eastern Europe, extending northward into parts of the Arctic; eastward and southward into parts of the Indian subcontinent, mounted invasions of Southeast Asia, and conquered the Iranian Plateau; and reached westward as far as the Levant and the Carpathian Mountains.

The Mongol Empire emerged from the unification of several nomadic tribes in the Mongol heartland under the leadership of Temüjin, known by the more famous title of Genghis Khan (c. 1162 – 1227), whom a council proclaimed as the ruler of all Mongols in 1206. The empire grew rapidly under his rule and that of his descendants, who sent out invading armies in every direction. The vast transcontinental empire connected the East with the West, and the Pacific to the Mediterranean, in an enforced Pax Mongolica, allowing the exchange of trade, technologies, commodities, and ideologies across Eurasia.

The empire began to split due to wars over succession, as the grandchildren of Genghis Khan disputed whether the royal line should follow from his son and initial heir Ögedei or from one of his other sons, such as Tolui, Chagatai, or Jochi. The Toluids prevailed after a bloody purge of Ögedeid and Chagatayid factions, but disputes continued among the descendants of Tolui. The conflict over whether the Mongol Empire would adopt a sedentary, cosmopolitan lifestyle or stick to its nomadic, steppe-based way of life was a major factor in the breakup.

After Möngke Khan died (1259), rival kurultai councils simultaneously elected different successors, the brothers Ariq Böke and Kublai Khan, who fought each other in the Toluid Civil War (1260–1264) and also dealt with challenges from the descendants of other sons of Genghis. Kublai successfully took power, but war ensued as he sought unsuccessfully to regain control of the Chagatayid and Ögedeid families. By the time of Kublai’s death in 1294, the Mongol Empire had fractured into four separate khanates or empires, each pursuing its own interests and objectives: the Golden Horde khanate in the northwest, the Chagatai Khanate in Central Asia, the Ilkhanate in Iran, and the Yuan dynasty in China, based in modern-day Beijing. In 1304, during the reign of Temür, the three western khanates accepted the suzerainty of the Yuan dynasty.

The Kubla Khan mentioned above is the self-same fellow written of by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, if I remember right. No less exalted a literary personage than the incomparable Rudyard Kipling memorialized Coleridge’s short pome thusly: “Remember that in all the millions permitted there are no more than five—five little lines—of which one can say: ‘These are the pure Magic. These are the clear vision. The rest is only poetry’.”

I shan’t argue. I still remember—having been brought up in the long-gone days when the government schools were in fact schools and not indoctrination centers and therefore still bothered to teach their young charges about the foundation-stones of Western arts and letters such as Sam Coleridge and Rudyard Kipling, to name but two—the opening couplet of Coleridge’s opium-fueled flight of fancy:

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree

Meh, that stuff’s old as dirt, older than that musty, dusty, rusty US Constitution thingamabobber, if such a thing is possible. Probably isn’t even an XboX version of it available, I betcher. I mean, seriously, dude: “Xanadu”? “Kubla Whatsit”? “Damsels with dulcimers,” whatever those might be, sitting around drunk off their asses on “the milk of Paradise,” all that other horsepuckey? SNOOZAPALOOZA!!!

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