GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

When genius speaks

The wise harken.

AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’
US—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the day after Thanksgiving as “Black Friday“.

She has demanded that they start referring to the make-shift holiday next year as “Friday of Color”.

The proposal, touted as a groundbreaking initiative for shopping equality, aims to rectify what AOC perceives as an oversight in the nomenclature of one of the busiest shopping days of the year.

In a press conference that unfolded like a Black Friday midnight madness sale, AOC passionately declared, “We need to recognize the diversity of our shopping experiences and move away from the exclusionary term ‘Black Friday.’ By renaming it ‘Friday of Color,’ we are embracing the vibrant spectrum of shopping desires that exist in our wonderfully diverse society.”

The demand came after President* Joe Biden said that they should let African Americans shop on days other than Black Friday.

It’s satire, folks. I think.

Eat ’em alive, Kid!

Here’s hoping he reduces ‘em to penury so extreme the whole coven winds up sleeping under a Detriot bridge.

“YOU DEFAMED ME ON LIVE TV — NOW PAY THE PRICE!” — Kid Rock Drops $50 Million Legal Bomb on The View and Whoopi Goldberg After Explosive On-Air Ambush
Los Angeles, CA – November 3, 2025 – The airwaves of daytime television just got a whole lot more litigious. In a move that’s already igniting debates from Nashville honky-tonks to New York greenrooms, rock-rap firebrand Kid Rock—real name Robert James Ritchie—has unleashed a blistering $50 million defamation lawsuit against ABC’s flagship gabfest The View and its outspoken co-host Whoopi Goldberg. What began as a seemingly innocuous segment on cultural divides and free speech has erupted into what Ritchie’s attorneys are calling “a full-frontal assault on truth and decency,” broadcast live to an audience of millions.

This isn’t your garden-variety celebrity spat. It’s a seismic showdown between a self-made provocateur who’s sold over 35 million albums worldwide and a media juggernaut that’s thrived on hot takes for nearly three decades. At its core, the suit accuses Goldberg and her co-hosts of orchestrating a “vicious, calculated ambush” that smeared Ritchie’s reputation, tanked potential business deals, and inflicted “profound emotional distress.” As one legal eagle close to the case put it, “They didn’t just disagree—they drew blood on national TV. Now, they’re going to bleed in the courtroom.”

The fuse was lit during a taping of The View on October 28, 2025, just days after a raucous election cycle that saw Ritchie stumping hard for conservative causes in swing states like Michigan and Pennsylvania. Invited ostensibly to discuss his latest foray into politics—Ritchie had teased a potential 2026 gubernatorial run in Michigan—the segment quickly devolved into what Ritchie describes as a “gotcha” trap. Cameras rolled as Goldberg, flanked by co-hosts Joy Behar, Sunny Hostin, and Sara Haines, pivoted from light banter to pointed interrogations.

It started innocently enough. Ritchie, clad in his signature trucker hat and leather vest, leaned into the couch with his trademark swagger, cracking jokes about his “Sweet Southern Sugar” tour and reminiscing about his Detroit roots. “Y’all know I love this country,” he drawled, his voice a gravelly mix of Motown soul and rebel yell. “From the factories to the farms, we’re all in this together.” The audience chuckled, and even Behar cracked a smile at his quip about “building bridges instead of walls—unless it’s a mosh pit.”

But then Goldberg struck. Drawing on Ritchie’s vocal support for Second Amendment rights and his criticisms of “woke Hollywood,” she unleashed a barrage that left the studio audience—and Ritchie himself—reeling. “You parade around like some redneck savior,” Goldberg fired off, her tone sharp as a switchblade, “but let’s be real: your ‘American spirit’ is just code for hate-mongering and division. You’ve built a career on shock value, alienating half the country with your beer-soaked rants. Is this really leadership, or just another grift?”

The room froze. Ritchie, mid-sip of water, set his glass down with a thud that echoed through the microphones. Co-host Hostin piled on, nodding vigorously: “Exactly—your so-called patriotism ignores the marginalized voices you’ve trampled on for years.” Haines chimed in with a softer but no less cutting remark about Ritchie’s “outdated machismo,” while Behar let out a theatrical eye-roll that drew laughs from the crowd. What followed was a 10-minute evisceration, with the panel painting Ritchie as a “dangerous relic” whose influence “poisons the well of public discourse.” No punches pulled, no commercial breaks for mercy.

Ritchie sat there, jaw clenched, as the barbs flew. He attempted a few deflections—”Hey, Whoopi, I respect the hustle, but facts over feelings, right?”—but the hosts steamrolled ahead, framing his political activism as “reckless endangerment” to democracy. By the segment’s end, the applause was polite but tepid, and Ritchie exited stage left without his usual fist-pump to the crowd. Backstage, sources say he was “fuming,” confiding to his team, “That wasn’t an interview—that was an execution.”

Yep—and it was perfectly typical of what these shit-slurpers and all others of their loathsome ilk do every single day, under the guise of “fair” and “unbiased” “journalism.” Go get ’em, Kid, and don’t stop Rocking ’em till their livelihoods are lost, their shows are shut down, and their network has become a wholly-owned subsidiary of Kid Rock Inc.

Via Lakeside Joe, who quips: “This is gonna be fun to watch.”

Best. Spam. EVAR!

Of the thousands, perhaps even millions, of CF-related spam emails I’ve received, snarled at, and summarily deleted over lo, these many years, this one has to be my personal favorite. C&P’d in its entirety:

FROM: HR & Admin – Coldfury <james@prestouniversal.com>
TO: E-mail (CF)
SUBJECT: Coldfury Employees Performance Appraisals – June’25

Dear Gentlemen,

Please find below the link to the current month’s employee performance appraisals for June 2025.

https://staff.coldfury.com/inter-records/report-2025/

Note: All names highlighted in red indicate employees who are due for termination.

Your prompt attention to this matter is highly appreciated.

Best regards,

HR Manager
Human Resource Department
hr.director@coldfury.com | Headquarter

Wow, turns out I have not only an HR department but also an HQ, even an unspecified number of “employees” who can actually be “terminated” at the discretion of my (nonexistent) HR Manager, whose actual name I can’t seem to recall right now for some reason. Better still, my phantasmagorical “HR Manager” refers to me as a “Gentlemen” in interoffice correspondence. Who knew?

No, of course I didn’t click on the link to view the “employee performance appraisals” report, but I confess I’m mighty tempted to, if only to giggle like a delighted little girl at the no doubt voluminous “names highlighted in red.” That’s bound to be as epic a tale as has ever been told throughout the annals of creative writing. Lord knows I’ve taken a few stabs at composing fiction, only to find that, although I know I’m not completely bereft of writing talent, I don’t have it in me to create good fiction; somehow, I just can’t make it work.

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Problem, meet solution

Ah, the wondrous possibilities fairly well leap from the page, wildly waving their arms and demanding attention.

Watch: Drag Queens Surround the Kennedy Center in Protest of Trump’s Takeover
Hundreds of protesters — many of them clad in big wigs, makeup, and lots of leather — descended on the Kennedy Center on Saturday as part of a “Rally & March for Drag.” It was the latest in a series of protests in response to President Donald Trump’s ban on Kennedy Center drag productions, many of them aimed at LGBTQ+ youth under 18.

“This president is demonizing a marginalized community in order to control the arts in America. It’s shameful, immoral, and weak,” drag artist Tara Hoot told The Advocate before the event. “At a time when our artists and LGBTQ+ communities are under attack more than ever, we need to show up and speak up against this fascist takeover of the arts.”

Last month, President Trump ousted Joe Biden-appointed board members and named U.S. envoy Richard Grenell the organization’s chairman.

“Just last year, the Kennedy Center featured Drag Shows specifically targeting our youth — THIS WILL STOP,” Trump wrote on Truth Social on February 7. “The Kennedy Center is an American Jewel, and must reflect the brightest STARS on its stage from all across our Nation. For the Kennedy Center, THE BEST IS YET TO COME!”

How very disappointing, that I have yet to see even one daring soul suggest rounding up all the annoying, tucked-peenie protesters, sealing them up inside a cargo bay of one of Elon’s Falcon 9 rockets, and launching them directly into the Sun forthwith.

(Via Joe)

It’s a-coming

Midwest Chick says “if you don’t laugh too, I’m not sure we can be friends.” Seconded, with all my heart and soul.


Usually, that huge schlong points outward from DC towards the rest of the country, so this makes for a refreshing change of pace.

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DOG BITES MAN!

Gee, what a shocker. Nope, didn’t see this one coming, not a-TALL I didn’t.

Stop laughing, damn you.

James O’Keefe Releases Shocking Video of NSC Advisor Admitting Biden Is Far Worse Off Than We Know
James O’Keefe dropped an undercover video on Monday in which one of President Joe Biden’s National Security Council advisors explains that the cognitively declining president is far worse off than the public knows.

The video should not be shocking — given the countless number of times we’ve seen Biden’s brain malfunction, the confused president shake hands with the air or wander around aimless on a stage after he finishes speaking, and other clear signs that his dementia is rapidly progressing — but it is.

National Security Council (NSC) advisor Henry Appel spoke frankly about the current state of Biden’s deteriorating state, unaware that he was being filmed. Appel began with a shocking statement (emphasis, mine).

Joe Biden is, like, dead. Not literally. Like, he, like, can’t say a sentence,” admits Henry Appel, advisor at the National Security Council (NSC), about the current state of the President’s health. Appel, who works in the Intelligence Programs Directorate, noted his team’s responsibility for providing senior policymakers with top secrets, stating, “We give all of the senior policymakers all of the secrets.” 

He went on to describe Biden’s deteriorating communication skills as a concern, adding, “[Biden] can’t say a sentence.” Recalling a phone call in which the President struggled to understand the simple phrase, “novel phenomenon,” Appel shared “He [Biden] was just like, ‘What do you mean, like a book?’ when my boss [Jake Sullivan] used the word ‘novel.’”

It gets worse.

Oh, I’m sure it does at that. On the other hand, though, it’s not as if Slow Jaux ever was what anyone would call the sharpest knife in the drawer. In terms of mental acuity, comprehension, retention, and overall intelligence, he never had far to fall before landing with a sickening thud on Semi-Retarded. It would be extravagantly generous to say that the blibbering old crook has been an intellectual also-ran his whole life, lavishing unmerited praise on a man of decidedly sub-par mentality.

One look at Huntie says all one should ever need to know about precisely where his own less-than-whelming “smarts” came from. More, and worserer—and hilariouser—at the link.

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On to the weighty matters!

Having said I would hold off on posting anything on the ongoing DC soap opera until tonight to let things shake out and settle down to at least some degree, I realize now as I should’ve all along that things are about as settled down and shaken out as they’re ever going to be, even can be, ackshully. That being the case, let’s talk about something of genuine interest and import, shall we?

The spectacular rise and surprising staying power of the George Foreman Grill
The grill made its debut 30 years ago. Tons of people still buy them

Leon Dreimann still remembers the flashing red lights.

He was at the QVC Studios in Pennsylvania watching his business partner George Foreman chat with two co-hosts during a TV spot for Foreman’s namesake grill. The pair got carried away in their conversation and forgot about the heavyweight prizefighter standing with them. Foreman improvised, grabbing a burger fresh off the grill, placing it between two buns, and taking a bite on live TV.

Suddenly, the phone lines were overrun with callers. QVC shifted into emergency mode.

“Literally, a red siren light starts blaring in every corridor,” says Dreimann, then the CEO of Salton, Inc., the exclusive seller of the Foreman Grill.

Workers at the QVC Studios called it “going red.” Dreimann says he looked on as janitors, accountants, and warehouse workers stopped what they were doing and grabbed the nearest phone, taking sales calls to assist the overwhelmed operators — the fervor induced entirely by the boxer’s snap decision to eat a hamburger.

Such was the allure of Foreman and the George Foreman Grill during its late 90s and early 2000s heyday.

This year marks the 30-year anniversary of the grill, officially known as the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine. After a slow start, it became an indelible part of ‘90s consumer culture and the world’s most popular product for cooking hamburgers, hot dogs, salmon, and just about everything else (Oprah Winfrey preferred it for bacon).

Lots, lots more to the story, and as any reasonable person would imagine it’s some truly gripping stuff. Don’t make me say it, just go on and do it already; I promise you won’t regret it. I mean come ON, man, it’s George Foreman we’re talking about here! And fer Christ’s sweet sake, who doesn’t love GEORGE?!?

(Via MisHum)

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AOC outed!

An exclusive from winsome, pulchritudinous lass Diogenes Sarcastica.

MFNS – After months and months of researching sleazy corrupt democrats by our crack team of investigative reporters here at the award winning Middle Finger News Service, they have managed to stumble upon (?) Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Socialist -NY) secret “Only Fans” account under the name “Showering With Sandy” featuring her daily morning showers before taking on the serious business of saving the nation and becoming a legend in her own time.

Now, there are questions as to why our reporters were on Only Fans Pages in the first place, but in the spirit of Journalism, we would be remiss if we didn’t bring you their findings…with a warning to all from Thomas Sowell.

Yes, there’s a pic of them big ol’ socialist titties, albeit with the real meat of the matter obscured by superimposed stars—and if it’s real, they are spectacular. I’ve always said that girl missed her true calling in life, which is as a topless dancer rather than just another shitlib Congresscritter. This would certainly confirm that assessment, in spades.

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A bargain at ANY price

You can’t take the skies from me.

Rocket Report: SpaceX focused on Starship reentry; Firefly may be for sale
Firefly may be up for sale. Firefly Aerospace investors are considering a sale that could value the closely held rocket and Moon lander maker at about $1.5 billion, Bloomberg reports. The rocket company’s primary owner, AE Industrial Partners, is working with an adviser on “strategic options” for Firefly. Neither AE nor Firefly commented to Bloomberg about the potential sale. AE invested $75 million into Texas-based Firefly as part of a series B financing round in 2022. The firm made a subsequent investment in its Series C round in November 2023.

Launches and landers … Now more than a decade old and with a history of financial struggles, Firefly has emerged as one of the apparent winners in the small launch race in the United States. The company’s Alpha rocket has now launched four times since its unsuccessful debut in September 2021, and it is due to fly a Venture Class Launch Services 2 mission for NASA in the coming weeks. Firefly also aims to launch its Blue Ghost spacecraft to the moon later this year and is working on an orbital transfer vehicle.

Butbutbutwait—you mean you aren’t talking about…dammit, I thought you meant…you shoulda told…oh, to hell with it.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

 

(Via Insty)

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“I Know How to Fix Our Political System. Hear Me Out”

It’s our dear old friend Stephen Green, who is always worth lending an ear. Although I can’t say I agree with him in every last particular.

I have yet another idea about how to save our Republic — and before we even get started, you’re welcome.

Every elected official — from my small-town mayor to the President of the United States — should be issued a seriously cool-looking sword. Sharp, too.

Higher-level appointees from White House cabinet officers down to that slow-moving jerk at the County Clerk’s office would each be issued a sword of their own.

Anybody running an HOA would get one, too, despite the risks. 

The more important the office, the shinier and fancier the sword. I figure by the time we get up to, say, the Speaker of the House, they’d get a sword so bejeweled that Inigo Montoya’s father would be embarrassed to craft it. 

But, man, would the thin-skinned attention whores who crave authority love carrying those things around.

You think I’m being silly. I’m not.

How our betters behave when carrying their swords would teach us valuable lessons about them. I imagine a guy like Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) would look a little sheepish carrying one, and that would make me like him even more.

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), fond as she is of drink on occasion, would probably have a few too many one Friday afternoon, lunge her sword at a staffer who displeased her, but end up falling down and cutting herself. And that would make me like her even more, too.

Okay, I’m A-okay with that part. But sorry, I ain’t so much down with handing out swords willy-nilly to FederalGovCo bureaucrats and/or cabinet officials in the expectation that they’ll have the decency to hurl themselves upon them in paroxysms of grief-stricken remorse as atonement for their myriad fuck-ups. Not gonna happen, I’m afraid; sorry, but they’ll have to be pushed. Which, y’know, I AM down with, one hundred percent.

An alternative proposal, which I muchly prefer: Equip the citizenry with swords, perhaps local and state officials in rock-ribbed Red locales ONLY, and encourage the whole motley crew to mob up and send those Fed fuck-knuckles scurrying in affrighted anticipation of the use to which those keen-edged blades might be put should their angry pursuers prove to be fleeter of foot.

HOA Oberst-Gruppenführers? Oh, HELL no. Those nosy, insufferably smarmy Church Ladies are already pain in the ass aplenty; issuing them swords would only make them worse.

Somehow it got by me until now, but Stephen offers another bright idea which seems like it might likewise be worth implementing.

Longtime Sharp VodkaPundit Readers™ might recognize this as a fancier version of my alternative to term limits, the Take An Oath of Office, Lose a Finger Amendment — and you’d be right.

But I ask, why think small? Let’s do both.

For the Republic.

Absolutely—without even knowing the specific ins and outs of it, this LaFA deal sounds pretty dang schweet to me.

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Moar continuing ed!

Climatology 101 this time, courtesy of Aesop.

To listen to the idiot retards of the media (but I repeat myself), you’d think everyone living in Califrutopia should be building an ark or something.

Fortunately, unlike most of the failed stand-up comics and braindead spokesbimbos who become weatherguessers and newsreaders, some of us have lived here more than a year or two, and we know that California has wet years, and dry years, which alternate at whim. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Cleverly, there has long been a name for what’s going on now, and it’s not the “Pineapple Express”, the “Fruit Cocktail Zephyr”, or any other such dipshitical dopey name they focus-grouped into being to try and sell more commercials in between bouts of weather doomporn.

The actual name for what’s happening now goes by a rather more accurate name.

We call it “rain”.

It ain’t caused by globull warmism, or climate change, nor any other such ginned up silliness so stupid, you need horsefaced fetal alcohol midwit dropouts from Sweden to shill for it.

In fact, there’s another clever name for what’s happening at the moment, and why.

It’s called “winter”.

And – shocker of shockers – in February!!! Who’d have foreseen that?!?

If ever there was a time to panic, surely it is now, Califrutopians. Be sure that while you do, you stay tuned to your local TV news station to keep up with the latest weather updates; as always, our one and only concern is Keeping You Safe!©

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

Fake Phony Fraud(s), S'faccim: two excellent descriptors coined by the late great WABC host Bob Grant which are interchangeable, both meaning as they do pretty much the same thing

Mordor On The Potomac: Washington, DC

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Burn, Loot, Murder: what the misleading acronym BLM really stands for

pAntiFa: an alternative spelling of "fascist scum"

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FREEDOM!!!

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