The never-ending Iran tragicomedy continues.

U.S. Conducts Self-Defense Strikes Against Iran
Fox News Chief National Security Correspondent Jennifer Griffin said CENTCOM spokesman Captain Tim Hawkins confirmed to Fox that CENTCOM conducted the strikes. The news comes as the negotiations with Iran’s terrorist regime stall, with the regime calling for Trump’s assassination and Trump becoming frustrated with their unwillingness to surrender their nuclear program.

Griffin posted Hawkins’ statement. “U.S. forces conducted self-defense strikes in southern Iran today to protect our troops from threats posed by Iranian forces,” he said. “Targets included missile launch sites and Iranian boats attempting to emplace mines. U.S. Central Command continues to defend our forces while using restraint during the ongoing ceasefire.”

Missile launchers? Iranian mine-layers? But…but..but I had been given to understand that all that stuff had been destroyed already! Brace yourself for the crucial bits (bold mine, of course and as usual):

As I wrote earlier, the Iranian regime does not even pretend to be anything but America’s worst enemy. After half a century of terrorism, the Iranian regime has repeatedly violated ceasefires, rejected every peace offer from Trump, and most recently put out a €50 million, or approximately $58 million, price on Trump’s head, just after an Iran-tied assassin made an attempt on Ivanka Trump.

Trump has already demanded Iran sign onto the Abraham Accords with Israel, which the Hamas- and Hezbollah-sponsoring regime won’t do. “In speaking to numerous of the Great Leaders mentioned above, they would be honored, as soon as our Document is signed, to have the Islamic Republic of Iran as part of the Abraham Accords. Wow, now that would be something special! This will be the most important Deal that any of these Great, but always in Conflict Countries, will ever sign,” he posted Monday.

Fucking pathetic, that’s what. Wonder what Trump’s response would be should one of the Mad Mullahs (who were also said to have been blown to Perdition early in the festivities, apparently an erroneous claim) hopped a flight to DC, swaggered into the Oval Office, spit in Trump’s face, closing the impromptu presentation by dropping trou and cracking a steaming, malodorous Stink Pickle atop the Resolute Desk. A call for more useless “negotations,” mayhap? A formal apology for said loaf-pinching Camel Humper—printed on the top-shelf White House stationery, natch—for offering insult, offense, and injury, wittingly and gratuitously, with malice aforethought, to the Grand and Glorious Islamic Republic of Iran?

Get a fucking clue, Mr President. The Pisslamic Republic’s rulers want nothing whatever to do with your “Abraham Accords.” Nor will they ever agree to give up whatever nuclear material they may retain; any and all bomb-grade fissionables must either be physically, forcibly taken away from them, or bombed into nonexistence. Rest assured, also, that the Mullahs are NOT going to change their minds about these things, no matter how skilled and/or persuasive a deal-maker you may be. You’re wasting everyone’s time—yours, theirs, mine, EVERYONE’S—with your foredoomed pursuit of unrealizable fever-dreams.

Eradicate the maniacal thugs; crush the Iranian government like so many pestiferous insects under a booted Western heel, that would be my personal preference. Alternatively, you could also 1) shut the fucking fuck up about Iran, and keep your lips tightly buttoned for the duration, or even just 2) bend your knee to the Mad Mullahs and surrender outright.

Neither of which options I much like, I must say. Nonetheless, like it or lump it, there are NO other realistic choices left to us here. Sadly, your insistence on phantom “negotiations,” “agreements,” and “cease-fires” have now become so meaningless, so ineffectual, that the Mullahs don’t even bother to acknowledge them by sending one of their lowest-level regime flunkies out to Pock-Eee-Stawn anymore—which insistence, to my way of thinking, means allowing yourself to be publicly chumped by the tried and true Mad Mullah Lie, Cheat, ’n’ STALL con-job—has put Western “infidels” in actual, for-real danger.

I love ya, man, you know I do; I’ve said so plenty of times, here and elsewhere. But this blowhard circle-jerkery is simply not gonna cut it anymore, and I am by no means the only one who thinks so, trust me on that.

The Mullahs are dedicated, conniving, slippery, unrelenting (pseudo-)religious fanatics. Attempting to strike any kind of bargain with the vicious lunatics is a mug’s game. They will NEVER abide by any agreement you manage to wrangle out of them; at this point, the contempt they hold for you, your Administration’s personnel, the American nation itself along with all Americans, is so palpable as to be dang near visible, burned like a tattoo into their filthy skins. Rather than disgrace themselves and insult their bloodythirsty False God by attempting to keep said contempt on the down-low, they’ve flaunted it for all the 47 years-plus of their pre-Medieval regime’s putrid existence.

I said it two weeks ago; it was true then, it’s still true now, and I by-God meant every last word of it. Either end this dismal “negotiations” charade and resume full-on, no-holds-barred aerial and/or naval bombardment of all and every even nominally strategic target where you left off RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, or pull out in shame, disgrace, and humiliating defeat a la the ignominious Biden Bugout in Kabul. In this fight, to pull any punches is to lose all. After a practically unbroken 60-70 year losing streak, we can’t afford any more losses; the price is just too durn steep.

Them’s the cards you were dealt, Mr Trump; play the hand or fold, it’s in your hands now. You initiated this latest shitfling—after nigh on five (5) decades of incessant Iranian provocations, a one-way war which resulted in thousands of American lives lost for no good reason—a difficult but absolutely necessary undertaking I vociferously supported at the time, and still do today. As the man in the hot seat you’ve been implicitly charged with deciding whether to shit or get off the pot, as my Grandma used to say. In this instance, that’s by no means as simple and straightforward a proposition as it might seem at first glance to be.

Sorry, ain’t no magical, mystical Third Way off the horns of this dilemna, I’m afraid. Every US Prez-mo-dent since Ronnie The Magnificent having assiduously danced around the perennial Iran Problem, the onetime molehill of taking out Iran’s Mad Mullah regime has grown and grown until it’s become a mountain too high for even the most brash, aggressive, overly-confident mere mortal among us to so much as dream of successfully scaling.

And so here we all are, then. Ain’t nothing to it but to do it, Mr President, sir. Time to buckle down and git ‘er DONE, and you know it is. In the words of the violent, cowardly Leftorrhoid “protesters” during the infamous Chicago D卐M☭CRAT convention riots of 1968: The whole world’s watching. And, y’know, waiting as well. Don’t let us down.