The Black Gate opens

As our esteemed compatriot JJ says, the flinging wide of the Morannon to free political prisoner Michael Martin is most welcome news no matter how cynical or distrustful of authority you might be. Nonetheless, we’d all do well to keep certain inconvenient truths firmly in mind going forward:

— Not one single protester/rally goer who was unlucky enough to have entered the Capitol Building was armed. Ergo by definition, they could not and cannot be construed as having an intent to riot, let alone overthrow the government with their bare hands or buffalo helmets.

— As we have known almost since day one, the protesters inside the Capitol Building—as has now been proven in a court of law—were allowed in by Capitol Police who, after unlocking the doors lectured those they were about to let in to behave, as if they were talking to a group on a guided tour.

— The only acts of vandalism and violence that occurred were committed by a) known BLM and Antifa plants and confederates dressed in MAGA gear, such as this John Sullivan character, who were loudly exhorting the crowd to riot or b) uniformed Capitol Police officers and undercover FBI/DOJ “glowies” resulting in the death of innocent, non-violent and unarmed protesters including Ashli Babbitr and Roseanne Boyland. The death of officer Brian Sicknick was not because a “MAGA insurrectionist” bashed him on the head with a fire extinguisher but because of a heart attack not induced by any physical contact with anyone. Whatever injuries may or may not have been sustained by law enforcement and other security forces were because of unarmed innocent people defending themselves from winding up like Babbitt and Boyland.

— The actual “Stop the Steal” protest rally which featured President Trump and other notable politicians and pundits was legal, peaceful and taking place many blocks away from the government-caused mayhem at the Capitol. Yet the rally itself, and its purpose which, again was peaceful and legal, is being painted as the worst attack on “our precious democracy” (*vomit) than the Civil War, Pearl Harbor and 9/11 combined.

The scores of flagrantly contra-constitutional arrests and indefinite detention-without-charges in connection with the J6 “riots”—which we’re constantly reminded by the usual suspects was a heinous crime of “deadly violence” perpetrated by bloody-minded “insurrectionists” determined to “undermine our Sacred Democracy”—were all comfirmation enough that Real Americans shouldn’t forget to bring the guns along for their next DC get-together, if any. But this acquittal—by a judge appointed by Trump, natch—has me mulling over a leeeetle detail.

Martin, a former government contractor from New Mexico, told US District Court Judge Trevor McFadden he thought police had waved him into the building and didn’t know he was breaking the law when he entered.

Based on video from the scene, McFadden said Martin’s claim was “plausible” and that prosecutors failed to prove his guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

“People were streaming by and the officers made no attempt to stop the people,” the judge said.

Curious, no? This has been the testimony of more than a few other of those currently languishing in durance vile as modern refuseniks in the Amerikan Gulag, and there’s plenty of video evidence that backs them up, too. But the part that has me thinking I put in boldfaced above, which raises a crucial question: Were those Capital Stasi goons holding the doors open and waving the protesters inside simply reacting without thought or instruction, merely reflexively responding as they would on any other workday, to any other non-threatening gaggle of tourists or meandering day-trippers?

Or, as seems MUCH more likely, were they acting under orders—orders which were part of a larger plan to turn those non-violent, peaceful, and unarmed Americans into useful tools for TPTB to take firmly in hand and use as grist for the Deep State propaganda mill—grinding out “credible threats,” wild-eyed fanatics and revolutionaries for normal people to clutch the proverbial pearls over? By making a passel of hapless Joe Lunchbuckets into Big Scary Monsters™ to keep the rest of the nation frightened out of its collective wits (if any) after an endless summer of state-endorsed BLM/pAntiFa rioting, looting, and burning, plus the state-fomented Fauxvid subterfuge—our hidden masters showed how completely they grasp the Bedford Forrest maxim which says, “get ’em skeered and keep the skeer on ’em” I’ve quoted so many times before here.

When Swamp creatures need to gin up a threat to cow the weak, deceive the gullible, and advance the agenda, nothing does the trick like spreading some more FUD around. It’s easy, it’s painless, and, once they’d gotten the great majority of us saddle-broke and trained to the bit, it has never failed them yet.

Update! Snitches get stitches. Or damned well ought to, at least. Otherwise, you just end up with more snitches, and you don’t want to be encouraging that.

American Stasi: ‘Citizen Sleuths’ Are Ratting Out Jan. 6 Protestors Who Haven’t Been Arrested
The Left’s phony Jan. 6 “insurrection” witch hunt isn’t going to die down anytime soon. The Democrats still hope to use it to stigmatize and marginalize virtually all of their opposition as “insurrectionists” that all decent lovers of “our democracy” (that is, the Left’s hegemony) should shun. And although it is now almost a year and a half since the Terrible Event That Was Worse Than 9/11 and Pearl Harbor, there are more Jan. 6 prosecutions all the time, thanks to “citizen sleuths” who are ratting out protestors who were at the Capitol on the fateful day.

There are so many snitches that the system is being overwhelmed. NBC News reported Wednesday that “aided by citizen sleuths who keep identifying Jan. 6 rioters, the Justice Department is finding that it has more cases than lawyers to prosecute them.” Accordingly, “the Justice Department is asking Congress for additional funds to prosecute those cases — a list that keeps growing.” It’s growing because “multiple online sleuths in a network of ‘Sedition Hunters’ working’ to find Jan. 6 participants have told NBC News that they’ve successfully identified to the FBI hundreds of additional Jan. 6 rioters — including dozens who are pictured on the FBI’s Capitol Violence website.” And the feds, of course, are only too eager to act upon the information these rats feed them.

One snitch said nobly that he had plenty more work to do: “There are hundreds still to go,” he said, “speaking anonymously to avoid retaliation from supporters of the rioters.” Yeah, you know, he doesn’t want trouble from those dangerous traitors who were going to overthrow the government led by a few grandmothers and a guy with Viking horns. But however ridiculous it is, the narrative must be perpetuated, and so the “sleuth” remains anonymous.

There isn’t enough blue language in the Milky Way galaxy to express how completely this sewage-slurping shitweasel disgusts me—him, and all others like him. Sad to say, such vermin have plagued their betters since Lucy first stood erect, and probably always will. Still, I hope some stouter soul, possessed of a more finely-tuned sense of propriety and acceptable behavior, soon does mankind a solid by putting a bullet through this execrable coward’s head from a long ways off, bursting it like an overripe melon dropped from a 25th-floor window onto a city sidewalk in a July heatwave, thankfully erasing a malign influence from the gene pool forever.

Rats are close relations with their like-minded kindred, the Karens and Kens of recent notoriety. But the family tree of these loathsome arthropods is actually a lot older and deeper-rooted than their kissing-cousins relationship might suggest, to the shame of all humanity.

This “citizen sleuth” is a hallmark of totalitarian regimes. In the Soviet Union, anyone could be an ear for the state: your friends, your neighbors, even your own children. The rewards were great for those who turned in “enemies of the state,” and amid the omnipresence of the totalitarian state apparatus, no one was safe. In Communist East Germany, 2.5% of the population acted as informants for the Stasi, the brutal and repressive Ministry for State Security, and some estimate that one in every three people gave information to the Stasi at some point.

In September 1932, a thirteen-year-old boy, Pavlik Morozov, was found murdered in a Siberian forest; it turned out that he had denounced his father to the secret police, and authorities claimed that his own relatives had killed him. He was hailed as a hero of the Soviet Union. Before Pavlik was killed, he appeared at the trial of his father, Trofim Morozov, who called out to his son in the courtroom: “It’s me, your father!” Pavlik told the judge: “Yes; he used to be my father, but I no longer consider him my father. I am not acting as a son, but as a Pioneer,” that is, a member of the Soviet youth brigade.

Watch for the “citizen sleuths” to become heroes of the new woke order the Left is trying to build if they succeed. Maybe we’ll see statues of some of these slouching Internet nerds replacing the statues of Washington and Jefferson that Antifa and its allies have pulled down. Every civilization, even the most degenerate one, has its heroes.

Any civilization that makes heroes of its squealers, its cowards, and its rumpswabs and ass-lickers is indeed a degenerate one, and will collapse a lot sooner than later. As is only meet and just; its lapse into extremities of blasphemy, debauchery, and obssessive self-indulgence might provide some highful useful instruction to succeeding civilizations, should they be wise enough to pay attention to the lesson they offer.

Winning ways

The great Ron DeSantis stays on the offensive.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced on Wednesday that he would send the illegal immigrants dumped by Biden’s administration in Florida to Biden’s home state of Delaware.

Governor DeSantis vowed to transfer the illegal immigrants to sanctuary states like Delaware, saying they now have the funding for rerouting.

It can be recalled that DeSantis introduced a proposal last December to add $8 million to the state’s budget in order to send those illegals out of the Sunshine State and into Democrat areas such as Marthas Vineyard and Biden’s home state of Delaware.

“If businesses or contractors are dumping people who are illegal into Florida from Southern Texas, you know, we’re going to go after their ability to do business in Florida,” Gov. DeSantis said Wednesday after he signed the No Patient Left Alone Act into law in Naples, Florida.

“If Biden is dumping people, which he has dumped people, they fly them in at 2 in the morning. They haven’t done it lately, but they did it many months ago. We now have money where we can reroute them to sanctuary states like Delaware. And we’re going to do that, to make sure we’re keeping people safe here.” DeSantis asserted.

On the same day, Texas Governor Greg Abbott also announced he would begin to use up to 900 charter buses or “as many as needed” to send illegal immigrants to Washington, D.C., as part of his strategy for the overwhelming influx of illegal immigrants.

“We are sending them to the United States Capitol, where the Biden administration will be able to more immediately address the needs of the people that they are allowing to come across our border,” Gov. Abbott continued.

Be sure to dump some of ’em onto the White House lawn, too, so’s ALL the architects of the forced repopulation of the US can fully enjoy the fruits of their efforts. More like this, please, just as fast as it can be done. Keep THEM on the ropes, their hands effectively tied as they wonder and worry where the next blow might be coming from. In the wise words of the Wizard of the Saddle: Get ’em skeered and keep the skeer on ’em.

5

Liberalis agonistii

Mommy, it HUUUUUUURTS.

It has been unseasonably cold in Washington D.C. this spring. The blossoms on the cherry tree on my front lawn had barely bloomed when a cold snap and heavy wind-driven rain scattered the petals all over my front lawn. I stepped out front to pick up a box of herbs left there to be planted when a neighbor passed by.

I don’t know him very well, but his virtue signaling was a rather good clue as to where his sympathies lay. His lawn was peppered with signs: ”Biden-Harris,” “Hate has no Home Here,” “Build Bridges not Walls,” “Refugees Welcome Here,” “Climate Action Now,” “Gun Control Now,” “Black Lives Matter,” “Defund the Police.” By their lawn signs you shall know them, I thought. Still, I was polite — waved and said, ”Hi.”

He apparently had something on his chest he just had to get rid of and approached me.

“It’s Trump’s doing!” he shouted.

Nonplussed, I simply raised my eyebrows and let him continue.

“He only pretended to run against Biden. He wanted him to win!”

“Really?” I asked.

“It’s perfectly obvious. Getting Biden and Harris elected was his diabolical way of destroying the Democratic party for decades! They and the Democratic party’s policies are so stupid, the people can’t stand them. Can’t wait to get rid of them.”

I didn’t wish to disturb this already vexed man more, so, saying nothing, I tilted my head suggesting I wanted to hear more behind his tirade.

“I can’t think of a thing Biden’s done which doesn’t make life worse for everyone. He’s losing Black and Hispanic voters and even suburban White women with this craziness. He’s paving the way for Iran to get nuclear weapons and upset the peace in the Middle East, to detriment of our allies. He’s stirring up Putin in a way that may lead to World War III. He’s thrown out so much money that inflation is soaring, and average people are finding it hard to put food on the tables and a roof over their heads.

“Crime,” he muttered. “It’s out of control. This defund the police stuff is ridiculous. Five cars were broken into on this block in the last two weeks. There was a multiple shooting in the motel where the government has been housing the homeless three blocks away the week before. I’ve never seen anything like that in this neighborhood before!” (I looked again over his shoulder. The “Gun Control Now” sign had also vanished from his lawn.)

Aww, what a shame Shitlib Neighbor has to live in the dreadful conditions created for him by his own kindred Komrades and Kommissars. Some advice foor ya, Commieboy: next time someone tries to explain the suicidal folly baked right into your ideological cake, only to wind up losing patience, closing out the whole pointless exercise by calling you an imbecile and stalking off all purple-faced looking for something to punch a hole into, maybe you should try listening for a change.

“And then there are the absolutely moronic things he and Harris say. This week he said that if we buy electric vehicles, we’ll save about $80 a month on gas. But those cars on average cost $56,000, a great deal more than conventional cars, and electricity — largely produced by fossil fuels — costs more because he’s made it more expensive by hamstringing the production of gas, coal, and oil. So even if his calculation were true, it would take decades for someone to afford to purchase an electric vehicle to achieve such savings.

Aww, too bad; things had been going so well up to that point. But when she put factual words into her clearly fictitious liberal’s mouth, Clarice well and truly screwed the pooch and ruptured her verisimilitude altogether; as we all know, liberals DON’T KNOW ANY FACTS. In fact, shitlibs deeply loathe and fear them] like the cancer, scuttling away at high speed to the nearest available Safe Space™ at the merest suggestion that a Fact™ might be skulking about in their vicinity, rushing to bar all doors and windows, turning off the lights, then hiding in a closet or under a desk until the dangerous Microagressor™ has passed. Nothing wrong with a good yarn, of course, and Feldman always was a skilled spinner of ’em. But dammit, don’t piss down my leg and tell me it’s raining, ol’ girl. You can’t kid a kidder, y’know.

1

Bye Bye Birdie Biden

Biden, bye bye.

Democrats Prepare Biden for Senocide
The end will be cold. Up the mountain, set adrift upon an ice flow, or shuttled away in silence, geronticide of The Big Man draws nigh. His days may count less than one hundred.

Prepare to say goodbye. His pack of hyenas have turned their backs.

Bye bye? Sorry, no. The self-serving, crooked scumbucket deserves a farewell nothing near as polite, especially not from the much put-upon American people he’s ridden like a rented mule for five decades. More like good riddance.

The Bidens hold no value for the party. The Bidens are white, and a liability.

As for “The Big Man,” the Japanese call it ubasute. To carry an old woman up a mountain and leave her to die.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer asshole; t’is a consummation devoutly to be wished, as far as I’m concerned. As Glenn said in the Coen brothers’ classic Raising Arizona, somebody oughta sell tickets.

(Via WRSA)

Working out fine

Looks like Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay none of that mentally-bent, freaky-deaky shit In Front Of MY Child!” Bill is already getting results.

NBC Report – Florida Teachers Who Promote Gender and Sexuality Lessons With Kindergarten Students Are Quitting in Protest
It looks like the Disney corporation may be getting a new batch of applicants as NBC reports that LGBTQ elementary school teachers, those who generally advocate for the promotion of kindergarten gender and sexuality discussions, are quitting their jobs in Florida.

As shared by fourth grade lesbian teacher Nicolette Solomon (pictured below), “so many kids” throughout her elementary school — even those she did not teach directly — came out to her.”

Apparently, if the LGBTQ teachers are correct, there are thousands of lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender and queer elementary aged students in Florida entering the school system every year, and the grooming teachers are now panicked they will not be able to guide them in their sexual exploration.

Oh looky everyone, it’s yet another sexually-befuddled and scientifically-deficient fabulist using her awesome “Distort Reality Until It Conforms To How I Think It Should Be” Superpower. “Thousands,” says he/she/it—when the historical record more believably states that the percentage of elementary-school children announcing themselves as “transgender” has held rock-steady at a smidge under 1% since always. How very curious, then, that all of a sudden the numbers currently being shrieked at normal people by sexuality-obssessed loons have climbed high enough to take station in low Earth orbit over an unprecedented, credibility-shattering three to five years.

SO: from many decades of consistently staying well within the range of total statistical insignificance, formerly stable percentages explode practically overnight, no reason, no rhyme, no questions, please. The recent data, if valid, suggests an extremely unusual shift, a genuine anomaly which will necessarily be followed by similarly broad and ungovernable changes to the very fabric of our lives: in our attitudes, in our legal system, in our understanding of human sexuality, just for openers. Pretty much all and every segment of American society will be altered in one way or another.

The older data confirmed transgenders as one of the smallest of minorities here in the US, demographically invisible outliers as rarely encountered as Captain Ahab’s white whale. This was at best unsettling news for most if not all transgenders, moreso yet for the political activists among them, who regarded their singular circumstances as amounting to an out and out threat. And no wonder, really: being relegated to the outermost margins of American society, as remote as it’s possible to be from whatever you think “mainstream” is nowadays, their negligible census revokes any claim to the attention of the overwhelming majority of us who aren’t doctors; researchers working in the fields of sexual dysfunction, chronic depression, or inclinations towards self-harm or even suicide; counselors, psychiatrists, or clinical statisticians; friends, family, or colleagues who are close to a struggling gender-dysphoric individual and concerned for their well-being—ie, those not directly involved with someone afflicted by transgender dysphoria.

Wonder what the underlying factors causing this truly staggering statistical shift might be, eh? Has anything changed in our aforementioned three to five year timeframe that could have brought on such a remarkable development? Might this LGBTwhateverwhothehellcaresanyway schoolmarm’s ardent campaign to recruit and sexualize kids far too young to know or care what sexual identity even IS—being scrupulously careful to keep her loathsome machinations under wraps and out of reach of parental scrutiny have played some small part?

Or could it be possible that these so-called “teachers” are simply lying—exaggerating the numbers to aid them in furthering a depraved political agenda? Naaah, that’s unpossible. Ah well, guess we’ll never know what’s really going on here. This part did make me smile, though.


Glad to hear it, bitch. With more of you walking, talking malignancies immovably committed to the proposition that all evangelizing pedophiles are endowed by their Creator with the unalienable right to spend their workday recruiting children now deciding to get OUT of the government schools, maybe we can get more normal, mentally-healthy Americans back INTO them. If so, it would surely go a long way towards putting this fucked-up country back on the right track over the long haul.

“Leaving the profession,” was it? It’s all too clear that you are seriously confused concerning what your profession entails, and what the job is generally agreed to involve. Either that, or you’ve wantonly forsaken your professional duty as an educator; betrayed your professional code of ethics, assuming such a thing still exists; and brazenly shat all over the sense of duty to your young wards your profession demands of you: to instruct, to inspire, to assist, and to shield from harm to the best of your ability. Foolishly, you and your fellow snakes in the grass all labor under the misapprehension that recruiting schoolkids for enlistment into the ranks of your Creepy Crusaders™ forms any part of y’all’s job description. I assure you, it does NOT. Trust me on this one, please. It’s for your own good.

Like me, Benjamin Braddock finds this Satanic smorgasmord of unleavened depravity, all served up on a kiddie-size platter alongside the readin’, ritin’, and ‘rithmatic, grotesque and sickening.

This is not normal. But it’s also not at all surprising. After all, anyone who has “done the work” to understand the postmodern American Left recognizes this reaction for what it is: groomer fragility.

The spectacle of America’s cultural elite uniting to defend the propriety of child porn in school libraries, insisting that a gender ideology they had not even heard about until seven years ago must be taught to seven-year-olds, and a presidential administration publicly celebrating the breast amputation, genital mutilation, and sterilization of autistic children, should be utterly appalling to anyone with a shred of human decency. This all has led some on the Right to finally try to do what the Left always does: coin a novel political epithet.

“Groomer.” It’s not a very nice word, to be sure.

Oh, I dunno about all that, now. I find it kinda funny, myself.

But the Right must decide: Do we prefer to play nice with perverts who are very sexually interested in our children?

We shouldn’t be playing with the shitlib Left—in all their multitudinous guises—at all, period. “Playing nice” with Leftard excrescences of every warp and woof—when what we should have been doing from the start was hunting them down like rabid animals, skinning the carcass alive, then heading on down to the bank to redeem the pasty, city boy-soft pelt for a nice new toaster oven, a twenty-dollar Piggly-Wiggly gift card, and a book of Green Stamps—is a big part of how and why we came to find ourselves in such an awful predicament: trapped in a nuthatch being run by ranting, raving madmen with no hope of escape.

We can expect most conservative pundits and Republican politicians to choose the first option. Because they crave a simulacrum of respectability above all else, they’re more likely to be offended by association with people who call liberals mean names than by the psychosexual campaign against childhood innocence. You should not take any moral cues from them. You should call a spade a spade.

BANG. ZOOM. To the fucking MOON, Alice.

When you say “OK, groomer,” the best defense they’ve got is to be outraged as though you’ve just called them a pedophile. And it is, of course, not very nice to go around calling people pedophiles.

Impolite, perhaps. A not-subtle invitation to be a combatant in the pending vulgar brawl, absolutely. But hey, if the shoe fits, right?

But don’t let that trouble you. That isn’t what you said.

Believe me, it doesn’t. Not even a little bit. And anyway, weren’t you the one saying we should call a spade a spade only a minute or so ago?

That’s just where their minds jumped. Kind of weird, isn’t it? I mean, look it up in a dictionary. Synonyms: “educate, train, coach, drill, tutor.” Relevant definition: “to get into readiness for a specific objective.”

The fact that they hear the word “pedophile” when you don’t say it is part of their groomer fragility. Most, after all, don’t intend to acquire direct carnal knowledge of children.

Think so, do ya? Tell me, exactly how confident are you about that “most” statement of yours, Ben? Because with more and more of these fiendish freakazoids openly declaring themselves all over the place, acting as if this new outrage of advocacy for turd-burgling little boys was something to be proud of, rather than permanently disqualifying them from being allowed to be in the same time zone with decent, upstanding folk, I ain’t as sanguine as I’d like to be about that one.

Also, I don’t give a sizzling shit about what liberals think they hear, nor about any feelings brought on by whatthehellever it was they thought they heard me say, regardless of whether I actually said it or not. Least of all do I feel obliged to stammer out some mealy-mouthed “I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it!!” in defense of anything I say, do, or think. They can all go take a flying fuck at a plate-glass window for all me—them, their families, and the horse they rode in on, too.

Foul-tasting update! About as appetizing as the Saturday night contents afloat in the bowl of the downstairs men’s room toilet at CBGBs. On Saint Patrick’s Day, the annual high holy day celebrating the patron saint of all amateur drunks.

The inclusion of sexual identity measures in large scale national surveys have added to our knowledge about the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and questioning youth (LGBQ). For example, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) has highlighted adverse mental health indicators among LGBQ students, including greater depressive symptoms, increased rates of seriously considering suicide, and higher rates of attempted suicide (Zaza et al., 2016). Until now, there has been a lack of nationwide data on risk factors and negative outcomes associated with transgender youth in the U.S. (diGiacomo et al., 2018). This brief report highlights newly released data from the 2017 YRBS which focuses on transgender high school students (Johns et al., 2019).

Overall, 1.8% of youth identified as transgender. The almost 2% prevalence rate is more than double the previously available estimate of 0.7%. The prior estimate was based on the patterns of transgender identity among adults (Herman et al., 2017). However, it was noted that the 0.7% estimation would be inaccurate if younger cohorts identify as transgender at a sharply higher rate than 18–24 year olds. This YRBS data reveals that younger youth are indeed identifying as transgender at an increased rate.

Transgender youth reported significantly increased rates of depression, suicidality, and victimization compared to their cisgender peers. Notably, in the past year, one in three transgender youth reported attempting suicide, almost one-third reported being a victim of sexual violence, and more than half reported a two-week period of depression.

Bold theirs, not mine. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything, so make of it what you will. Just pointing it out, that’s all.

This new data provides key insights about transgender youth. However, our knowledge is still incomplete as only 10 states and 9 large urban school districts included a question on gender identity in the 2017 YRBS. Additionally, we do not have information about other youth who do not identify as cisgender including gender fluid, non-binary, and agender youth. The Trevor Project and partner agencies have long advocated for the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity and expression questions in population based surveys, including the YRBS. We will continue our efforts to ensure that this valuable data is collected from all states and large urban school districts to best understand and support these youth.

I bring you glad tidings of great joy!

Rather, Aesop does.

Breaking: Biden/Harris Resign Ahead of Impeachment
(WASHINGTON DC) After news broke early this morning of confirmed widespread election fraud in Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, with further states announcing widening probes, the House of Representatives was set to debate articles of impeachment this afternoon, when news came from the White House that the current regime would step down, rather than force a constitutional crisis, and formally conceded losing the 2020 election.

Donald Trump was sworn in at his residence at Mar-A-Lago early this morning, and is returning to Washington D.C. later today to take up his interrupted presidency where he left off. Trading on Wall Street has been suspended in advance until next Monday, and gasoline futures have plummeted to $3/gallon on the news, with further drops likely.

On hearing of the change in U.S. leadership, Vladimir Putin has announced the immediate and unconditional withdrawal of all Russian forces from Ukraine, which was confirmed by unnamed Pentagon military sources.

Ambulances have reportedly been taking staff members from all major networks, the WaPo, and the NYTimes to hospitals in Washington D.C. and New York City, where ERs are reportedly flooded with a surge of patients with chest pain and possible strokes.

Early word from Capitol Hill is that with the dissolution of impeachment hearings, the Senate is poised to take up the nomination of FL gov. Ron DeSantis as the new nominee to serve as Vice President, after former VP Pence announced he would not be joining the new administration, by mutual consent.

Ordinarily, with any news item we’d have to take at least a little bitter with the sweet. But not this time; this, my friends, is nothing but pure, unleavened SCHWEEEEET!

Go on over and enjoy the rest of it, by all means. But don’t forgot to click the link he included, but I didn’t, when you’re all done. As comedowns go, it’s a brutal one.

Update! Thanks to liberal killjoys’ standard practice of sucking all the fun out of life via “fact-checking” satire and humor articles, PJM writer and professional funnyman Kevin Downey Jr says he’s not allowed to run any April Fools stuff this year.

If you think lefty fact-checkers are GLUTEN-free, you should test them for humor.

I was up until 2:00 a.m. writing April Fools’ Day story headlines and articles only to learn PJ Media would not be posting funny stories today because angry, self-loathing, “progressive” fact-checkers aren’t familiar with humor, and we at PJ Media are too busy to explain the meaning of sarcasm to them every time we post an article.

That means we won’t be posting OBVIOUS joke stories like this:

Nancy Pelosi Injured When Rare Springtime Florida Frost Forces Lizard People To Fall From Trees
Nancy Pelosi was visiting her new home in Florida and apparently didn’t check the weather report. She was sleeping comfortably in a nearby tree when temperatures dropped to unseasonably low levels, forcing lizards of all sorts to freeze up and fall to the ground.

“I swear, Rick DeSantis purposely did this to me and my people,” an angry Pelosi stated from a local hospital, which, thanks to DeSantis, was not full of COVID patients.

Though Pelosi did suffer a concussion, her transgender physician, Dr. Mangina, said it could have been much worse.

“The aging birther Speaker is lucky she fell into a large pile of empty wine boxes, which serendipitously fell RIGHT under where she was sleeping.”

You also won’t see these tantalizing headlines:

Drunk Hillary Clinton Ejected From Jamba Juice For Demanding Baby-Blood Smoothie

Transgender Woman Loses ‘Her Penis’ in Bizarre Tampon Accident, Rejoices: Two Hours Later Wants It Back

Emoluments Clause Anyone? Joe Biden Pens Deal With Chinese Depends Adult Diapers

Biden and Kamala Impeached and Convicted, House Declares Trump President!

Oh wait, I’ll hold on to that headline for a while…

Sorry folks, don’t blame us. We are more than happy to do these all day. As usual, liberals ruin everything.

It’s who they are, it’s what they do. Time once more for me to trot out my depiction of the patron saint of all liberal/Leftism.

ChurchLady.jpg

They’ll deny it, but that’s only because, deep down, they know it’s the truth.

Beyond their ken

These screeching cuntzillas need to get the word “decent” out of their mouths.

Even as Justice Clarence Thomas was hospitalized, a leftist lynch mob rallied on social media calling for his impeachment or death. They weren’t especially picky about which one it would be.

The same radical faction championing Biden’s selection of a black woman for the Supreme Court as a groundbreaking step forward and berating Republicans for refusing to support her were simultaneously demanding that the only sitting black justice on the court step down.

The calls for Thomas’ death are based on pure unadulterated hatred. And so are the calls for his impeachment. None of them have even the faintest basis in anything resembling the law.

The Women’s March called for the impeachment of Justice Thomas because his wife, Ginni, had advocated against election fraud. Or as the racist leftist hate group put it, “The revelations that Ginni Thomas advocated for the overthrow of our democracy are disqualifying — not just for her as a human being of any decency, but for her husband.”

A “human being of any decency” wouldn’t be going after a judge by targeting his wife.

Of course not. Really, though, can there be any sane person left among us who expects decency from Leftist swine? There’s something entirely obscene about such as they even uttering the word at all. What we have here, though, is nothing whatever to do with “decency”; it is consummate opportunism, the alpha and omega of the concept.

One good aspect here, though: the slavering shitlibs just provided us with another real-world demonstration of why and how they win, one Team Liberty needs to learn from and even emulate if it seriously hopes to succeed. Leftwits never, ever let a possible chance to club their opposition over the head and advance the agenda pass them by. No, they throw it ALL up against the wall, anything and everything they can get their scabrous talons on. And why the hell not? Sadly, now and then something or other of it will stick, and they get to carve still another “W” into their sloping foreheads.

1

Dream ammo

Yours may differ, which is fine, but my own gets a mention here.

Thought I would take a minute to jot my thoughts on ballistics before we redeploy. We’ve been in heavy fighting the last few days.

5.56 works just fine on people, provided you don’t have to shoot through anything heavy. Not sure where it got the rep of not working. Expectations too high, most likely. People we shoot with it fall down and die. Very accurate.

The M4 is the perfect size. It is an excellent system, ergonomically. For law enforcement, it is perfect. For military work, with the exception of the cartridge, it is also.

We need to quit trying to optimize performance in tissue, from a military point of view. Do all that you want for cops, hunters, armed citizens but leave us out of it. I just spent the last 10 months in urban combat as an adviser to the Iraqi Army, so I have a few opinions.

Whatever round we get needs to penetrate stuff. And I don’t mean dribble out the other side. It needs to blast through cover, then through the dude behind it and preferably the dude behind him. It should, at a minimum, penetrate:

2 mm mild steel
2 inches hard wood
2 car doors with windows down
Trunk, back seat, front seat and dash
2 stacked AK 47 mags with steel cased ammo

AND do all this at minimum 250 meters. If you can get it to do this, it’ll flatten people too.

By mid WWII, ALL 30.06 was steel cored armor piercing for this very reason. Nobody who’s ever used it has complained about effectiveness. While we’re at it, we should go ahead and make it incendiary as well. No point in carrying different types. For the squeamish, it could be formulated to only ignite on hard targets. Personally, I want the guy to burst into flames when I shoot him.

So do I, bub, so do I. You said a mouthful with that, one which I will most enthusiastically second from way over here.

If you mean it, they will come

DeSantis’s knock ’em down, keep ’em down, never back off governing style pays off bigly.

Florida Democratic hearts just sank as a new St. Leo University Poll of  500 voters shows that Gov. Ron DeSantis has a combined job approval rating of 58.8%.

This is crushing news for Florida Democrats.

“Governor DeSantis is benefitting from a strong economy and a lack of COVID cases in the state over the past few months,” said Frank Orlando, director of the Saint Leo University Polling Institute and a political scientist.

Perhaps, perhaps. Myself, I much prefer another scenario: that DeSantis The Barbarian is benefitting mostly from governing like a Real American, in perfect accord with Constitutional requirements.

“While he gets lots of national attention for provoking the ire of liberals on things like masking, it doesn’t seem to hurt him in Florida, and in fact continues to raise his national profile.”

In head-to-head gubernatorial matchups between Gov. DeSantis and the other three Democratic gubernatorial candidates—Sen. Annette Taddeo, Rep. Charlie Crist, and AG Commissioner Nikki Fried— DeSantis leads them all by double digits, and bests perceived Democratic frontrunner Fried by 23%.

A small sample in this poll, admittedly. Plus, what the hell, it’s a damned poll; y’all already know well enough just how much stock I put in those things. Still, though, it’s encouraging news. Anytime I read of Demonrats being “crushed,” I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Keep up the skeer, Gov; don’t take your hands off their throats, squeeze harder instead.

2

The wheels of justice, grinding slowly

But surpassing fine.

In October of 2020, a bombshell report detailing possibly incriminating emails (and generally degenerate behavior) from a laptop owned by Hunter Biden dropped. That report, originally published and expanded on by The New York Post, was relentlessly censored by social media companies and maligned as “Russian disinformation” by the mainstream media and the Biden campaign.

That didn’t stop right-leaning media from digging deeper, and the revelations were stunning, including Hunter Biden making $80,000 a month from a Ukrainian oil company and receiving a $2 million “retainer” to sell influence to the Libyan government. His dealings with China were also extensive and at the very least, seemed to cross into the realm of criminal FARA violations. To this day, Hunter Biden has yet to fully divest from his partial stake in a Chinese-controlled venture capital firm.

Still, all of that has been known for a long time, yet the media’s response has been to completely ignore suppress it while the Biden administration has continued to lie about the origins of the emails. That was, until the last few weeks.

Fixed it for ya.

Suddenly, for no reason whatsoever I’m assured, the liberal news industry, including The New York Times and The Washington Post, decided to “confirm” admit all the reporting we already knew was true. Further, the Post’s write-up goes so far as to detail some of Hunter Biden’s corrupt dealings, specifically regarding the Chinese. That’s quite the about-face.

Fixed it for ya again.

We should be asking ourselves why the Times, the Post, etc. just walked through the door with a six-pack and their dancing shoes on. Nothing, and I mean nothing that is harmful to a major Democrat gets printed by accident. There is always an underlying reason why a report gets made at the time it does, especially when we are talking about a story that was previously suppressed.

So what’s going on here?

My guess is that the hidden Power behind the DC throne has decided, for reasons we’ll never know, that it’s just about time to cut the drooling retard Biden’s strings to replace him with another, less laughable marionette as frontman for their ongoing charade. Either that, or Praetorian Media suspects that, their stifling of the Biden laptop story having passed its sell-by date, the whole sordid affair is about to come out whether they will or they nil. So they badly need to find some way, somehow, to hang onto whatever gossamer-thin tatters of credibility they have left by getting out ahead of it. That seems to be where Bonchie is placing his bet:

I think one only has to look at the media’s history to see a pattern when it comes to harmful revelations about Democrat figures. When reports start coming out that simultaneously make major admissions but still attempt to white-wash what’s happening, that’s usually because forces within the government are leaking information in order to get out in front of a story and preset the narrative.

The Times and the Post reported on the Carter Page FISA abuse, but only after it became clear much more was about to come out showing the FBI’s abuse of power. The Times and the Post reported on John Durham indicting Michael Sussmann, but only as a way to suggest the indictment was weak. When the actual indictment dropped, it was far worse than described.

Do you see what I mean? Something big is coming regarding the corruption surrounding Hunter Biden (and possibly his father). That’s why we are getting these reports right now, and that’s why those privy to the FBI investigation into Joe Biden’s son are suddenly leaking like crazy. They want to set the narrative before it becomes apparent just how bad things truly were. That means you can take the Post’s newest report and assume it’s just the tip of the iceberg.

All fine and well, but don’t let’s be counting any chickens as to whether Hunter might actually do time for his serial criminality—much less his senile, corrupt-to-the-marrow dad. All I have to say about THAT is, I’ll believe it when I see it. Also, harrumph.

As counter to my usual cynical suspicion, however, the Bidengate plot is definitely thickening.

On Monday, two Republican members of the United States Senate revealed evidence that Joe Biden’s son Hunter received payments of at least $100,000 from Chinese oligarchs.

As reported by Fox News, Senators Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) and Ron Johnson (R-Wisc.) took to the floor of the Senate to provide a receipt for a payment of $100,000 from the Chinese energy company CEFC to Wells Fargo Clearing Services, with “further credit” being paid to Hunter Biden’s firm Owasco.

In his speech from the Senate floor, Johnson criticized the mainstream media’s efforts to deliberately cover up Hunter Biden’s numerous scandals.

“Over the course of our investigation into how Hunter Biden used his father’s position and name to enrich himself and his family,” Johnson said on Monday, “the dishonest press published countless stories reporting on the Democrats’ false charge that we were soliciting and disseminating Russian disinformation.”

Mo’ bettah still—but not for Grifter Gropey and his seedy spawn.

On Tuesday, The Federalist reported that two GOP senators, Chuck Grassley of Iowa and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, released actual receipts of payments Hunter Biden received from foreign oligarchs that indicate “the extent to which President Biden might be — and almost certainly is — compromised.”

“There’s no middle man in this transaction. This is $100,000 from what is effectively an arm of the communist Chinese government direct to Hunter Biden,” Grassley said from the Senate floor on Monday. “To the liberal media and my Democratic colleagues: Is this official bank document Russian disinformation?”

Don’t you get it yet, Chuck? To the sleazy, scummy Left, it’s anything they need it to be, or nothing at all. Whatever advances the agenda another step down the road to Marxist utopia and unchecked, limitless power, that’s all that matters here.

Update! A NY Post deep dive into the corrupt Biden Family’s criminal connections to Chinese espionage agents, from last January.

For those wondering why Joe Biden is soft on China, consider this never-before-reported revelation: The Biden family has done five deals in China totaling some $31 million arranged by individuals with direct ties to Chinese intelligence — some reaching the very top of China’s spy agency.

Indeed, every known deal that the Biden family enjoyed with Beijing was reached courtesy of individuals with spy ties. And Joe Biden personally benefited from his family’s foreign deals.

In 2018, I was the first to report on Hunter Biden’s involvement with a Chinese investment fund called Bohai Harvest RST (BHR). Hunter even introduced his dad to a company executive in December 2013 when father and son flew to Beijing on Air Force Two.

In October 2019, Hunter Biden’s lawyer George Mesires said Hunter would be resigning from the BHR board, without receiving any return on his investment or shareholder distributions.

What Team Biden failed to address was the fact that Hunter Biden still owned a stake in the investment fund, said to be 10%.

When I first reported on Hunter Biden’s China ties in 2018, Team Biden denied that they existed. Then they absurdly claimed that his stake in the BHR investment fund was only $420,000.

Steven Kaplan, who conducts research on issues in private equity, venture capital, entrepreneurial finance, corporate governance and corporate finance at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, said a private equity fund with $2 billion under management will typically generate fees over its life of hundreds of millions of dollars.

“It is difficult to imagine, if not incomprehensible, that a 10% stake in those economics is worth only $420K,” Kaplan said via email. “The distinction they appear to be making is they capitalized the management company with $4.2M even if the fund manages $2B. The value of that management company is likely far in excess of $4.2M if they are managing $2B.”

Much, much, MUCH more follows before landing us here:

These deals are disturbing enough, and are exacerbated by the fact that every one of them was made possible by an individual with ties that sometimes went to the highest levels of Chinese intelligence.

But there is also the curious fact that in 2014, Hunter Biden took the unusual step of telling the Secret Service that he did not want protection when he traveled overseas. The request happened shortly after he began securing deals in Beijing.

Money that Hunter Biden received from his overseas deals flowed to other members of the Biden family.

Joe Biden’s brother James  received over $1 million originating from the spy-connected Ye, according to a US Senate investigation.

And Joe Biden benefited, too.

Well, of course he did. Lest we forget, another scrupulously-ignored news item gives the memory a gentle nudge.

Bombshell: Emails show Hunter, Joe Biden shared bank accounts, could drag him into Hunter’s FBI tax probe
WASHINGTON, DC- A blockbuster report by the Daily Mail is reporting that the current occupant of the Oval Office (when he’s not in the fake set across the street) Joe Biden may soon become caught up in the FBI’s probe into Hunter Biden’s finances, according to some experts.

Emails obtained by the Daily Mail gleaned from Hunter Biden’s abandoned laptop show that Joe and Hunter Biden not only shared bank accounts, but also paid each other’s bills. The report also notes that Joe Biden may have in fact contributed to funding Hunter’s 2018 prostitution and drug binge, albeit inadvertently.

The emails, between Hunter and his business partner at Rosemont Seneca, Eric Schwerin revealed the latter was working on Joe Biden’s taxes, showed discussions revealing the Biden’s paid each other’s household bills, fielded requests for a book deal for Joe Biden, then serving as vice president, and also the donation of Biden’s papers from his time as Senator to the University of Delaware.

The emails raised some questions as to why Schwerin was so involved in Joe Biden’s affairs as vice president as opposed to government officials assigned to the vice-president’s office.

The claims made by Hunter of a shared bank account with his father also begs the question if the funds from that joint account were used for Hunter Biden’s May 2018 bender with a prostitute in a Hollywood hotel, the Mail piece reported.

The existence of a federal investigation into his tax affairs was admitted by Hunter Biden himself last December.

Of course all of this also calls into question claims that Joe Biden had made that he had no knowledge of his son Hunter’s business dealings, an important claim because Joe Biden used that as an excuse claiming no quid pro quo in Hunter’s membership on the board of Burisma Holdings, a Ukrainian energy company whose CEO was being investigated by a Ukrainian prosecutor.

One expert says that if Joe Biden were not currently president a Democrat he would likely already be on the prosecutor’s radar by now, along with Hunter. So says John Cassara, a former U.S. intelligence officer and treasury special agent, an expert in money laundering investigations.

“Corruption is a predicate offense for money laundering. And besides corruption, it’s the perception of corruption. This kind of thing should not be happening. It undermines full faith in the US government. It undermines trust and our international reputation. It’s an embarrassment.”

As well it should be, to any of us with a shred of integrity and a functional moral compass. Which would most certainly NOT include any of the Biden clan, a family of crooked blood-ticks who have miraculously become filthy rich on a US Senator’s relatively-measly salary (174k, as of last year).

Hammerdown

DeSantis the Barbarian by-God don’t let up.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said on Tuesday that the Walt Disney Company “crossed the line” when it announced its intention to repeal the Parental Rights in Education bill, which DeSantis signed into law on Monday.

During a press conference in Tallahassee on Tuesday, DeSantis told reporters, “For Disney to come out and put a statement and say that the bill should have never passed and that they are going to actively work to repeal it, I think one was fundamentally dishonest, but two, I think that crossed the line.”

He added: “this state is governed by the interests of the people of the state of Florida. It is not based on the demands of California corporate executives. They do not run this state. They do not control this state.”

To no one’s surprise, there’s much, much more of this wonderful stuff. For instink:

Just one day after Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed into law the Parental Rights in Education bill, the Republican is now suing the federal government for its never-ending mask mandate for public transportation and airlines.

More than two years since Covid-19 reached our shores, the Biden administration is still ordering that Americans wear face coverings on planes and to commute. After the Trump administration opted not to require masks on public transport, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued an order in late January 2021, which prompted one from the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) in February 2021 shortly after Biden’s inauguration. Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody says these federal agencies “never had the power to issue” these mandates.

TSA’s rule was supposed to expire in May of last year but was instead extended to September, then January of 2022, then March, and now April. DeSantis and a horde of other states are trying to change that by arguing that the federal mask mandate goes beyond the CDC’s authority and violates state laws that ban forced masking.

“It’s not something that’s grounded in any science,” DeSantis said during the press conference, showing that just like you don’t have to be a biologist to know what a woman is, you don’t have to be a virologist to understand basic sense. “If you have somebody sitting in the window seat and they’re nibbling on peanuts for two and a half hours, they can have their mask down. You have the person in the middle seat that is not eating, and if they just want to read a magazine without their mask, then somehow that would be a big problem.”

“Florida has led the nation in standing up to misguided federal government policies and fighting back against heavy-handed mandates that have no scientific backing,” DeSantis said. “If politicians and celebrities can attend the Super Bowl unmasked, every U.S. citizen should have the right to fly unmasked. It is well past time to get rid of this unnecessary mandate and get back to normal life.”

Yet more enheartening quotes from Ron the Great at the link. Circling back around to the infamous and inhumane “Let’s Lynch All Teh Gheys!!!” bill—as Leftards have labelled it in their usual calm, rational, not at all overly dramatized manner—our enemies have slipped up and given the game away.

Teachers Who Insist They’re Not Teaching Your Kid About Sex Also Weirdly Outraged By Ban On Teaching Your Kid About Sex
ORLANDO, FL—On July 1st, teachers throughout Florida will no longer be permitted to encourage discussions about sex with children in grades kindergarten through grade 3. Florida teachers have been adamant that they’ve never encouraged such discussions in their classrooms but they are weirdly outraged that they will no longer be able to.

“I have never once told a boy they are really a girl, or a girl they are really nothing, or a man that they should be comfortable loving children. Not once. BUT IT’S OUTRAGEOUS THAT I CAN’T,” said Ms. Feilershiek, a kindergarten teacher at Chickasaw Elementary, while picketing in front of her school instead of teaching children.

One third-grade teacher, Mx. Pat Frumouge (ze/zir), had begun teaching zeir students about LGBTQ culture full-time ahead of the July 1st deadline.

“Look, I don’t groom any kids. But I have to constantly explain why I look like a porcelain fish-being,” ze said, visibly shaken. “This law is going to erase me as an individual. My sexual identity and favorite kinks are my entire identity…if I can’t share that with children—which I don’t—then I don’t know what I’m going to do. Teach math?”

Children at Chickasaw Elementary School are reportedly failing at math and science but excelling at peer-pressuring other children to switch genders at will. Teachers insist the kids are doing that on their own, however.

According to sources, teachers are preparing for the next year by abandoning all subjects entirely in favor of full-time LGBTQ lectures to make up for the fact they won’t be able to indoctrinate children next year—even though they don’t do that.

And again, we have to ask ourselves: is it satire, or is it for real? It just gets harder and harder to tell. Pity the folks at the Bee; they have the toughest jobs in the world. Trying to find a way to effectively exaggerate the Left’s positions and statements—already so extreme they observably warp and distort actual physical reality—for purposes of satire must exhaust a body to the very edge of total collapse. Meanwhile, another whackadoo shitlib demonstrates why the loony Left can never really be defeated.

The angry teachers of TikTok are rolling in after Governor Ron DeSantis signed the Parental Rights in Education law (also known as “Don’t Say Gay,” because politics demands that every bill signed by a Republican must be demonized). The word “gay” is not in the bill. The bill actually protects children in pre-K through third grade from being assaulted with discuccion of sex and gender issues that they are not ready to handle. For some reason, people on the left are having meltdowns because they can’t talk about their personal sex lives with little children and, in a bizarre trend, they’re making videos about it…

Libs of Tik Tok on Twitter is at the forefront of exposing all the teachers who are carrying on like stuck pigs because they can’t indoctrinate children anymore (at least in Florida). Not only did the bill outlaw discussions of sex and gender with students from pre-K to third grade, but it also outlawed hiding information from K-12 parents about their children’s gender identity or any other information that would be important for them to know. There is a disturbing trend of public schools actively keeping secrets from parents that has led to suicide attempts and harm to children. In Florida, that’s no longer allowed.

But at least one teacher, Amber Mercier who works at The Academy, says she’ll keep lying to parents about their kids, and she’s willing to lose her job over it.

Mercier is gay, and she believes keeping secrets about sexuality from her students’ families — if the student wants her to — is worth losing her job over. “I just want to go ahead and state that I would rather lose my job than out one of my students to their families. Being a safe person and a safe place for kids who don’t have that at home is one of the best parts of being a teacher, so, yeah, I’m not doing it. Fire me, sue me, take me to jail — I’m not doing it.”

Okey doke, fine by me then.

As if the previous nutjob and her oath to lose her job weren’t radical enough, though, there’s also this clearly sane, perfectly normal adult.


Only one correct response to that proposition, I believe.

TermsAcceptable.png

See what I mean about it being impossible to defeat them, though? For Leftards, EVERY hill is a hill worth dying on. Plus, they DO NOT moderate, they DO NOT yield, they DO NOT bargain in good faith. For these relentless zealots, every setback is only temporary, their eyes always locked on the ultimate goal. They’re a lot like cyborgs in that. You can’t defeat them; you can only either shut them down or destroy them. Listen, and understand.



1

Can’t get enough of that DeSantis stuff

I missed this oldie but goodie its first time around, but it’s still solid gold.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — In an exclusive interview with The Federalist, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis challenged the right to take a proactive stance on cultural issues, not just a defensive one.

“Do you want to be the Harlem Globetrotters or do you want to be the Washington Generals? D.C. Republicans, a lot of them are my friends, but they’re like lovable losers,” he said. “They let the corporate media define the narrative and it’s like trying to fight your way out of a wet paper bag. You have to reject these narratives.”

Recognizing Americans who “aren’t captive to the Acela corridor or the far left coast,” DeSantis noted a hunger for strong and active conservative leadership. “If all you’re doing is, the Democrats propose $2 trillion in infrastructure [legislation], so we say we’ll do $1.5 trillion, that’s not going to animate anybody,” he said. “That’s just Me Too Republicanism and ultimately that’s not going to be successful.”

While so many Americans feel they’re on the defensive against an onslaught of cultural threats to their faith, families, and patriotism, DeSantis encouraged them to fight back. “The goal is not to just lose ground more slowly,” he said. “The goal is to regain ground in an offensive direction.”

“This last year was a fundamental test [for the Republican Party] about leading against lockdowns and leading to get kids in school and leading to make sure people weren’t under the yoke of oppressive regulations,” said the governor, noting his lawsuit against the federal Center for Disease Control over its attempt to force the cruise industry to require vaccine passports from passengers. “We are going to pry open every portion of this country one way or another.”

Plenty more where that came from, folks. Don’t miss a single scrumptious word, you’re gonna love it.

A becoming modesty

It ain’t bragging if you can DO it.

Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true. While playing with the legendary golfer, Ernie Els, winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole. These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t. Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter about it, quite exciting, and people everywhere seem to be asking for the facts. Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene, Mike, and Ken. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging—and I don’t like people who brag!

Oh, of course not, Mr President, sir. Perish the thought. Your well-known modesty is in fact what so many of us admire most about you.

AHEM.

1

A thing of the mind

Wait, did you guys know about this and not tell me or something?

The Conch Republic was born on April 23, 1982, in response to a United States Border Patrol Blockade of the Florida Keys. Since the United States insisted on treating the Keys like a foreign country, Mayor Dennis Wardlow seceded from (the) Union. Today we stand proudly as a community of who have “Sovereign State Of Mind” and as the “People who seceded where others have failed”

The Conch Republic (also known as Key West and the Florida Keys) like many nations was born from trouble. The trouble started back in the dark days of March 1982, when the U.S. Federal Government placed a Border Patrol Roadblock at the Last Chance Saloon in Florida City.

A seventeen mile traffic jam immediately ensued as the Border Patrol stopped every car leaving or entering the Keys, supposedly searching for illegal drugs and aliens who might be hiding under the front seats, in glove compartments, and in trunks.

The media starting reporting on the unprecedented action of the Border Patrol in setting up a Border Roadblock within the United States, itself (after all, most everyone believed that the Florida Keys were indeed part of the United States!) As the stories of the traffic jam poured out across the nation and the world, visitors started canceling reservations to come to the Keys.

Community leaders started to gather around Mayor Dennis Wardlow to decide what to do. The very lifeblood of a budding tourism industry was threatened and Secessionist talk was bubbling up in each discussion. At the urging of David Paul Horan, the legal route was chosen as the first alternative and an injunction was filed against the government’s action in Federal Court in Miami.

The court essentially refused to enjoin the US Federal Government’s Border Patrol from treating the Keys like a foreign country. When the Key West delegation left the courthouse, they were met by a gaggle of the world press asking “What are you going to do, Mr. Mayor?” and Mayor Wardlow replied “We are going to go home and secede” and thus the Conch Republic was born.

On April 23rd, the Conch Republic flag was raised over city hall and the Schooner Western Union, under command of Captain John Kraus, went forth into the harbor and attacked the US Coast Guard Cutter DILIGENCE with water balloons, Conch fritters and stale Cuban bread. The DILIGENCE fought back with fire hoses and thus commenced the Great Battle of the Conch Republic. Prime Minister Wardlow surrendered and demanded foreign aid from the United States (which we are still waiting for!) The road block was quietly removed and the glorious Conch Republic was born.

Later on, the parodic, jokey nature of the Conch “secession” is made clear, more’s the pity—I was already packing a bag over here, dammit. Despite that unseriousness, the last line hints at something fairly significant.

The Conch Republic exists as a sovereign state of mind, which signifies our vision of the America which we are proud to be part of.

Glad they included that “state of mind” business, because that’s the only place where their vision of America—and, for that matter, mine—actually still exists.

2

America’s Gov does it again

We cannot spare this man. He fights.

And, y’know, wins.

DeSantis Blasts Hollywood ‘Degenerates’ Before Signing Parental Rights Bill
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed the Parental Rights in Education bill into law Monday, marking another victory for parents in the Sunshine State. 

“Parents’ rights have been increasingly under assault around the nation, but in Florida we stand up for the rights of parents and the fundamental role they play in the education of their children,” DeSantis released in a statement. “Parents have every right to be informed about services offered to their child at school, and should be protected from schools using classroom instruction to sexualize their kids as young as 5 years old.”

There, Vichy GOPers, was that really so hard to say? Yeah, I know, I know, for you it ain’t the saying; it’s the making it stick part that presents so much difficulty for ya.

The legislation specifically prohibits sexual education instruction for children eight years old and younger, a concept the majority of Americans support. 

During remarks ahead of the signing, DeSantis blasted Hollywood elites for repeatedly lying about the bill and claiming it is discriminatory.

“If the same Hollywood elites who upheld degenerates like Harvey Weinstein now oppose our efforts to protect parental rights, I wear that like a badge of honor,” DeSantis said. 

GOD, how I love this man. More rich, buttery goodness on this most frabjous of days.

As Twitchy reported earlier, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed into law the Parental Rights in Education Bill, also known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, and already Disney has issued a statement saying it remains committed to repealing the law. One thing that got lost in all of the “Don’t Say Gay” hysteria is that this bill was about more than just keeping instruction on sexual orientation and gender identity out of kindergarten classrooms; as the bill’s real name implies, it enumerates the rights of parents when it comes to the education of their children.

For example, the law prohibits school district personnel from “discouraging or prohibiting parental notification and involvement in critical decisions affecting a student’s mental, emotional, or physical well-being.” We did a post on one school that had a “transition closet,” so that children could come to school in the clothes their parents “made” them wear and then change into clothes that “reflect their true gender identity … like the superheroes they are.”

In signing the bill Monday, DeSantis posted a video of a mother of a 13-year-old describing how school officials had drawn up a “transition plan” for her child without her notification or input.

Now for a small sampling of Tweets that will positively curl your toes with near-orgasmic bliss.



Know what the best thing about DeSantis is? With him, you can be sure he really, truly means it; unlike every other goddamned all hat, no cattle GOPe Swamp critter currently extant, DeSantis WON’T back down, not even a tiny bit, no matter how crushing the deluge of rankest shit the Left hurls at him. To appropriate Martin Luther: Here he will stand, he can do no other. May God bless and protect this man, and all who sail in him.

Update! A treatise on DeSantis’s motivating principle: interposition.

A recent University of North Florida poll of registered Florida voters found giant margins for DeSantis over either of his Democrat competitors. He leads former governor and party flip-flopper Charlie Crist by 19 points and Florida Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried by 21 points. Those numbers will close by November, of course. But the poll was of registered voters, who don’t typically poll well for Republicans. And DeSantis has nearly $100 million for re-election while his contenders each have a few million and a primary yet. 

How is this stunning success in popularity among ordinary voters possible when every conceivable media, social media, and cultural mover has vilified DeSantis for three years?

In a word: Interposition.

This is the idea that a state in a federation such as the United States has a right and the authority to interpose itself between an overbearing federal government and that state. The Constitution is riddled with its implications in the separation of powers between the federal government and state governments. The Federalist Papers discuss it. It was an essential element of states rights federalism and invoked prior to the Civil War. That terrible conflagration became inevitable to rid the nation of the moral scourge of slavery, but the price was a rolling forth of power consolidating in Washington, D.C. at the cost of the states.

However, it’s not like interposition was ever outlawed. States could still practice it, but that requires spinal fortitude. And now more than ever.

Never using the term “interposition” publicly, DeSantis nevertheless practiced this essential concept repeatedly during COVID. He stood between a federal shutdown and shutting down Florida. Even the three-week Florida “shutdown” was minimal as the list of who could remain open, including churches, was very long. He blocked the federal government from mandating vaccines in Florida, even keeping corporations from acting as fronts to enforce the mandates. When the federal government curtailed Florida’s access to monoclonal antibodies for what appeared to be petty personal reasons, DeSantis bypassed the federal stock and bought monoclonals on the open market.

Even in the latest kerfuffle over the Parental Rights in Education bill there is a form of interposition by the Republican legislature and DeSantis because the U.S. Department of Education holds so much (extra-constitutional) leverage over school districts, and they have created a state legal bulwark against federal infringement.

Most recently, DeSantis challenged his own party leadership in the legislature over long-time gerrymandered congressional boundaries to provide a black district in North Florida. Legislative Republicans kept the district similar to what it had been, which also had the side-benefit of clumping a lot of Democrats into one district. DeSantis believes drawing districts based on race is openly unconstitutional. This is the sort of principled stand that wrong-foots so many in the political world, but is often appreciated by voters. More Republicans should understand this.

Naturally, the media lost its mind at every one of these actions, but the policies were relatively popular among Floridians. The fact that they have proven to be right in hindsight by the data is awesome for Floridians, but not the first point. The first point is that a state governor had the cajones to place himself and the authority of his state government between the federal government and the people of his state.

That reference to DeSantis’s oversized cojones above gives me the perfect excuse for this. Not that I needed one, of course.



What the hell, you can never have too much of the Greatest Pure Rock Band Of All Time, amIright?



Excellent sound quality for a live recording, I must say.

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