Balls The Size Of Church Bells

Modern-day Tea Party

Posted on April 21, 2023 by Mike

A look at the historical roots of The Butt Light Rebellion.

Here in 21st century America, where we were once asked to tolerate alternative lifestyles, we are now required to celebrate them. Refusal to do so can result in an individual being effectively cancelled from participation in society. We are forced to bow in obedience to the woke monarchy. Well, Americans have had enough. And they are figuratively throwing Bud Light overboard as a statement of defiance to the woke ruling class.

Don’t forget, the original tea party extended beyond Boston Harbor. British ships carrying tea were also blocked at other US ports including Philadelphia and New York. The tea rebellion against Great Britain spread across the colonies, moving them closer to independence, just like the Bud Light Tea Party is a nationwide event in the battle to free us from woke tyranny.

In response to this beer boycott, America’s ruling class has been snarking that this all shows just how bigoted conservatives are, as if this is simply about Anheuser Busch hiring a cross-dressing man to become the face of their beer. No, it’s so much more than that.

It’s partly that people are fed up with the denigration of women – as if being a woman is nothing more than wearing lipstick, a dress and a handbag. But it’s more than that.

It’s also partly the fact that our ruling class despises the average American, as evidenced by the fact that the Bud Light marketing VP who hired Mulvaney was quite open about her contempt for Bud Light’s loyal customer base. But it’s more than that too.

As Dana Loesch notes, the rebellion against Bud Light is also about the erasure of women with such ugly terms as “menstruating people” and “chest feeders.” The rebellion against Bud Light is about the invasion of women’s private spaces by biological men.

To make another historical analogy, the massive backlash against Bud Light is akin to the Texian army at San Jacinto. After a long, humiliating retreat its soldiers suddenly found themselves in position to go on offense, screaming “Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad!” as they took revenge against Santa Anna’s army.

Now the battle cry might be “Remember Loudoun County! Remember Riley Gaines!”

In Amerika v2.0, the list of “a long train of abuses and usurpations…to reduce them under Absolute Despotism” is far too long to remember all of it, much less boil them down into a handful of pithy motivational slogans. But with the above two, Buck’s made a good start on it, at least. The important part, really, is that battle at last be well and truly joined, not what Our Side chooses to yell at The Enemy whilst running at his lines, sabers waved aloft, with blood in our eyes.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

If you rob it, it will close

Posted on April 19, 2023April 19, 2023 by Mike

Lying in the bed Shitcongoans made for themselves.

Watch: Chicago residents complain about Walmart leaving their neighborhoods, say they “deserve to be able to shop” at stores they’ve repeatedly looted
Today, citizens of the leftist utopia of Chiraq are surprised that private businesses would pull out of their crime-ridden neighborhoods!

These dummies act like it’s a guaranteed right to have a Walmart in their neighborhood, even though said Walmarts have been losing “tens of millions” annually because of theft, taxes, vandalism, and other losses.

“How do I feed my children?”

I dunno, my man, buy some chickens and sow some seeds like humans did for thousands of years before Sam Walton perfected big-box distribution and spent the money to build stores in your city?

Really, what can one say but BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

“We should not have to go out of our communities to have to be able to shop! … We deserve to be able to shop!”

Yes, my man, this is true. In any civilized nation or city, these should be basic things you can do, because people like to make money and are more than happy to make it convenient for you to spend it.

But there’s a reason there are no Walmarts in Darfur or Fallujah.

Stores there would probably be safer, and a better bet all around for WalMart and its employees alike than Shitcongo. Follows, a passel of vids featuring the damage and destruction wrought by the selfsame Looter Americans who are now bitching about Wally World daring to starve their dumb-nigger asses out by closing the stores they themselves wantonly trashed.

Hey, I have an idea for feral Shitcongo Dindus who will be denied their daily calories by those cruel WalMart RAYCISSNSHEEIT: cannibalism. Try it, you might like it!

Via Bayou Pete—who, happily, is back from his weekend hiatus and in fine fettle:

Residents of Chicago, Portland, Seattle, and other cities where the mob has become accustomed to stealing what they like, when they like, and getting away with it, are now discovering the consequences of allowing that to happen. What store can afford to stay in business when every day that it does so costs it more money than it makes? (Not to mention the consequences to its staff, who are imperiled by criminal thugs and looters!)

The trouble is, those who’ve grown used to taking what they want aren’t going to mend their ways when their local stores shut down. No – they’re going to spread their net wider, and try to do the same in more distant suburbs and neighboring towns. I don’t foresee much of a problem with that in my area: our cops (and the vast majority of our citizens) will have no trouble stopping such miscreants in their tracks (if necessary, the hard way). However, in many larger cities it’s going to be a problem. Public transport is more or less available, cars can be stolen or hijacked at gunpoint for a quick ride, and fresh loot isn’t far away; and police are so overloaded (not to mention underfunded) that they can’t deal with the crimes they’ve got right now, never mind increased shoplifting and looting in future.

As Peter suggests about his own locality, I’d certainly love to see them try it around these parts. Which isn’t terribly likely; they know already what the end result of that would be here in South Cackalacky, I’d bet.

Update! The NYT shits bed, buries lede, confirms things they’d rather not be confirmed.

327 who are above the law
The New York Times story did not say what its editors and their flying monkeys thought it said.

The headline said, “A Tiny Number of Shoplifters Commit Thousands of New York City Thefts.”

OK, you don’t need a J-school degree to figure out the message sent. Not everyone in NYC is boosting $4,500 Louis Vuitton purses. It is just a few people. Whew. What a relief to know this.

The subheadline said, “Nearly a third of all shoplifting arrests in the city last year involved just 327 people, the police said. Businesses say they have little defense.”

You see? The looting is by just a few people.

The story said, “Collectively, they were arrested and rearrested more than 6,000 times, Police Commissioner Keechant Sewell said. Some engage in shoplifting as a trade, while others are driven by addiction or mental illness; the police did not identify the 327 people in the analysis.”

The story, however, is you can rob stores dozens of times and get away with it. My question is why don’t more people in NYC just rob stores blind every day? I mean, come on people. If 327 people can get caught 6,000 times and get away with it, what is stopping 8 million people from looting Tiffany’s every morning and Macy’s every afternoon.

Maybe they are. Who knows how many New Yorkers steal and how many times they get away with it because the 327 people were just the ones the police caught. And the 6,000 arrests are just the times the 327 got caught.

Once again, NYT staffers throw a bunch of numbers around at random. You really cannot say, “A Tiny Number of Shoplifters Commit Thousands of New York City Thefts,” because the numbers reflect arrests, not crimes. And of course, there is the whole innocent-until-proven guilty thing that NYT conveniently forgets from time to time. So you cannot say commit.

NYT argued that stealing $4,500 Louis Vuitton purses is a crime of necessity. Its report said, “Criminal justice reform advocates have said that petty thefts are a crime of necessity, and that many down-on-their-luck New Yorkers are stealing what they need to survive in one of the world’s most expensive cities.”

And NYT also argued, “Retailers have pointed to shoplifting as a drag on profits for decades.”

Once again, the criminal is the victim. How dare the stores make profits!

Years ago, I remember a Charlotte-cop friend of mine telling me that CPD could end crime in CLT overnight, just by arresting the 1500 or so people responsible for almost all of it without some shitlib Turn ‘Em Loose Bruce judge springing them all the next morning. Yes, that’s CLT and NYC, but does anybody want to seriously argue that a like pattern doesn’t obtain in Shitcongo as well?

Get me rewrite!

Posted on April 19, 2023April 19, 2023 by Mike

A hilarious story of cultural re-appropriation.

Egyptians complain over Netflix depiction of Cleopatra as black

A Netflix docudrama series that depicts Queen Cleopatra VII as a black African has sparked controversy in Egypt.

A lawyer has filed a complaint that accuses African Queens: Queen Cleopatra of violating media laws and aiming to “erase the Egyptian identity”.

A top archaeologist insisted Cleopatra was “light-skinned, not black”.

But the producer said “her heritage is highly debated” and the actress playing her told critics: “If you don’t like the casting, don’t watch the show.”

Adele James made the comment in a Twitter post featuring screengrabs of abusive comments that included racist slurs.

Cleopatra was born in the Egyptian city of Alexandria in 69 BC and became the last queen of a Greek-speaking dynasty founded by Alexander the Great’s Macedonian general Ptolemy.

She succeeded her father Ptolemy XII in 51 BC and ruled until her death in 30 BC. Afterwards, Egypt fell under Roman domination.

Macedonians being, y’know, Greeks, and Greeks being, y’know, decidedly not black. But hey, nig-nogs gotta nig-nog, amIright?

Jada Pinkett Smith, the American actress who was executive producer and narrator, was meanwhile quoted as saying: “We don’t often get to see or hear stories about black queens, and that was really important for me, as well as for my daughter, and just for my community to be able to know those stories because there are tons of them!”

Fuckin’ Jada Pinkett Smith. Groan. I mighta known. Poor old Will badly needs to get that saucy ho’ of his under some kind of control; she’s causing chaos and doing damage everywhere she goes.

But when the trailer was released last week many Egyptians condemned the depiction of Cleopatra.

Zahi Hawass, a prominent Egyptologist and former antiquities minister, told the al-Masry al-Youm newspaper: “This is completely fake. Cleopatra was Greek, meaning that she was light-skinned, not black.”

Mr Hawass said the only rulers of Egypt known to have been black were the Kushite kings of the 25th Dynasty (747-656 BC).

“Netflix is trying to provoke confusion by spreading false and deceptive facts that the origin of the Egyptian civilisation is black,” he added and called on Egyptians to take a stand against the streaming giant.

Okay, turnabout being fair play, then, I very much look forward to another upcoming release.

Ace says fans are calling it “the role Ryan Gosling was BORN to play,” and not even knowing who the hell Ryan Gosling might be, I surely can’t dispute that. In fact, I’d go so far as to say the same about whoever that melanin-challenged chick is that’s playing Moo’ch’elle in the trailer, also.

As for Will Smith, I’ll never forgive the punk-ass bitch for ruining Wild Wild West forever by hijacking Robert Conrad’s classic Jim West character, no good reason for the usurpation ever offered. I lovedlovedLOVED that show as a kid, and never missed a rerun for years afterward as an, um, alleged “adult.” So as far as I’m concerned, he and Pinkett Smith purely deserve each other, and may they have joy of their choice.

Update! Unrelated, yes, but it all put me in mind of another fine old Robert Conrad vehicle: namely, the mighty F4U Corsair.

Heh. What a great show that was. If Jada Pinkett Smith, or anybody else for that matter, ever decides to redo Pappy Boyington as a Nee-grow PoC (actually, COL Boyington was part Sioux Injun, but still), I’ma have a real problem with it.

Trannysaurus Rex

Posted on April 15, 2023April 15, 2023 by Mike

Modern “science”—is there ANYTHING it can’t ruin completely?

Apparently not.

T-Rex to Modern Science: Don’t Give Me Any Lip
Breaking news from the Mesozoic Era is a phrase you might not have expected to hear. Nevertheless, recent research suggests the Tyrannosaurus Rex, that terrifyingly toothsome star of the movie “Jurassic Park,” might have had lips.

A study recently published in the well-regarded journal Science proposes as much. Respectfully—for I wouldn’t want to sound lippy around the experts, who I assume aren’t writing with tongue in cheek—I have questions.

First, how can we be so sure? No leviathan lipstick case was unearthed in Uruguay. No oversized Oxford with a telltale red on its collar was found bedside in Bangladesh. No love letter sealed with a kiss was discovered in Denmark.

Such a note would be suspicious anyway, unless we’re also to believe the newly-lipped Tyrannosaurus Rex’s arms were not too short for writing. Were they only metaphorically stubby-armed? Did disinclination to pick up a check contribute to their demise? Paleontology keeps a conspicuous silence.

Much of the case for dinosaur lips turns on the surprisingly low enamel-wear found on the solitary tooth of one Daspletosaurus, a distant T. Rex relative. Modern-day crocodiles, which are lipless, have substantially more outer-tooth enamel-wear than this solitary prehistoric chopper found in the dirt. Ergo, T. Rexes must have had lips.

So it’s “case closed, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em”? According to my dentist, I have more advanced enamel-wear than most men my age. I hope in the distant future nobody digs up my worn-down chicklets and convinces my descendants I was lipless.

This conclusion is really a mouthful. Glad though I am to have skipped the “checking enamel-wear on crocodiles” booth on career day in high school, I wonder: what if this particular dinosaur simply practiced uncommonly good dental hygiene?

I suppose unearthing a Little Black Dress, color-matched clutch purse, and a pair of high-heel pumps all preserved in amber from a T Rex fossil-bone orchard as confirmation of this dino’s perfectly normal, sane, and admirable gender-bender tendencies is a little too much to hope for. But we all know the truth about this cross-dressing, sexually emancipated Thunder Lizard just the same.

Bud transitioning

Posted on April 15, 2023April 15, 2023 by Mike

The obvious next step.

Budweiser Replaces Clydesdales With Cows Dressed As Horses
ST. LOUIS, MO — In a natural continuation of its push for diversity and celebration of transgender lifestyles, Anheuser-Busch has announced the company will be replacing the iconic Budweiser Clydesdales with cows that identify as and dress like horses.

“We feel this is a natural next step,” said Anheuser-Busch CEO Brandan Whitworth. “If we’re going to bend reality and ignore all basic understanding of science and biology with our Bud Light brand, then it only makes sense to make that philosophy consistent across our other brands, including the classic Budweiser advertising campaigns.”

The beverage giant scoured the nation in search of dairy cows that live their lives as horses. “I was very excited to receive a phone call from the Budweiser marketing folks,” said dairy farmer Ed Herman. “I just can’t get this group of cows to produce any milk because they insist on pretending to be horses. I was ready to put down the whole lot of ‘em, but now they can actually make me some money with this ad campaign.”

Budweiser marketing executives have mapped out an extensive campaign that will culminate in an emotionally stirring commercial during next year’s Super Bowl broadcast. “We really want to tug on everyone’s heartstrings,” said the company’s marketing spokesperson Katie MacDonell. “We’re absolutely certain that everyone in the country will be excited to follow the journey these proud horses embark on to discover their true inner species.”

After staring closely at the attached picture, I must admit I’m convinced.

Update! Transheuser-Busch tries to win back their traditional customer base, earning only mockery and derision for the patronizing, insultingly schmaltzy effort.

Anheuser-Busch has been devastated financially due to the company’s partnership with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney.

The company has lost over $7 billion in market value since they decided to shove Mulvaney in America’s face. Merchandisers have also revealed no one is buying Anheuser-Busch products.

Desperate to win back former customers, Budweiser decided to bring back the beloved Clydesdales in a new ad on Friday.

The ad opens with a Clydesdale galloping across a field of grain and then a town street. The horse next passes a fire department, a flag raising ceremony, and a beach.

The commercial concludes with the Clydesdale standing on its hind legs on top of a hill.

Couples and friends are seen throughout the ad along with national monuments such as the Lincoln Memorial.

Ad transcript:

Let me tell you a story about a beer rooted in the heart of America, found in a community where a handshake is a sure contract, brewed for those who found opportunity and challenge and hope in tomorrow, raised by generations willing to sit, share, risk, remember.

This is a story bigger than beer. This is the story of the American spirit.

If Budweiser thought former customers would forgive and forget, they were sorely mistaken. The former fans instead had an absolute field day over the commercial.

Follows, a collection of hilariously scornful Tweets from disgusted ex-Butt Light drinkers, my favorite of which would have to be this one:

The new Budweiser Clydesdales. pic.twitter.com/9QvPvE9FGK

— masonbo (@masonbo)

April 15, 2023

Heh. Pinky Pie*, a “transgender”? Who the hell knew?

*NOTE: My ID of the above My Little Pony character might very possibly be in error; my daughter’s agonizing-but-inevitable phase of Pony-love was mercifully brief enough so that I hadn’t time to learn any but a very few of their names.

“Reparations,” forsooth

Posted on April 14, 2023 by Mike

The new Rosa Parks, just trying to “open a dialogue.”

Target security guard punches customer in the face after she demanded ‘reparations’

With that headline, the Post seems to be trying to make it look as if the security guard was out of line here. I assure you, he was no such thing; bitch got exactly what she had coming, that’s what.

A Target security guard punched a customer during a confrontation that was sparked when she asked for “reparations” while at a checkout line with more than $1,000 in groceries, according to a police report.

The ugly incident happened in October at the megastore in Blue Ash, Ohio, and began when Karen Ivery asked a cashier for their manager regarding the bill and reparations, according to the police report reviewed by The Post.

The cashier alleged to authorities that Ivery brought up reparations several times during their brief encounter before the manager arrived, the report states.

When speaking with the manager, the customer first asked for reparations and grew angry as she walked “aggressively” toward the manager, according to the report.

“Ivery kept berating her about reparations and her privileged life,” the report alleges as the patron kept walking toward the manager.

That’s when Zach Cotter, a loss prevention officer, intervened and asked Ivery to calm down and leave the store, the report states.

There’s a pic featuring the security guard’s lovely follow-through, and the FNIQ (Fat Nigger In Question) with her head snapped way the fuck back from the righteous smackeroo. It’s heartwarming, frankly. Onwards.

After reviewing footage of the incident, authorities wrote that they determined Ivery was the “aggressor” and she was placed under arrest.

“Ivery was confrontational with officers on the scene and didn’t want to explain her actions,” the report states.

In a bodycam video of the purported incident on YouTube, Ivery told an officer she wanted the cashier to contact the manager “so we could have a larger conversation about how money works, and how the provision works, and how it’s been working in our community in a very wrong way.”

“This is my Rosa Parks moment,” she added.

Because OF COURSE it is. So stunning, so brave, standing up to Da Man an’ demannin’ huh Rights n’sheet like dat!

I swear, if this incredible story doesn’t peg the needles on your Neegrow Fatigue meter, you probably ought to see a doctor or something.

Daredevil done RIGHT

Posted on April 12, 2023April 12, 2023 by Mike

Evel Knievel shows us the way.

Perfect balance F1-F2=0
Evel Knievel #wheelie #1 #harleydavidson #bikelife #wheeliwednesday #og #legendary #daredevil #whodiditfirst pic.twitter.com/p2qd5yQCxr

— Evel Knievel (@evelknievel)

April 12, 2023

A Sportster, of course, the model he did all those crazy-ass jumps on. Harleys are notoriously difficult to wheelie on, but it’s by no means impossible, as my own Fakebook profile pic demonstrates:

Wheelie

Taken by my then-girlfriend Evelyn, on a visit to her mom; that’s the street one row back from Ocean Blvd where her Myrtle Beach crib was, a mere couple of blocks from the grand old Myrtle Beach Pavilion, long since tragically defunct.

The trouble with wheelies and older, factory H-Ds is multifaceted: excessive weight, lack of power, and a low center of gravity all add up to make the crucial balance-point quite high in comparison with the rice-grinders. The exception to that rule would be the also-long-defunct Buells; as with my extremely-modified 06 Sporty above, with those you actually had to go out of your way to keep the front wheel DOWN. Picking it up and carrying it a ways was almost the default..

Which, with the 06, was definitely the case, to my continual delight. When I romped down hard on the throttle in 1st gear, the front wheel would start to dance lightly as the motor “came on the pipe” and really started making horsepower; hit 2nd, and it would lift off the ground, daring you to keep it up as long as you could. Same in 3rd, incredibly enough.

Even my old boss Goose, who hated all Sportsters with a blazing passion, would jump on mine to give it a good, vigorous flogging now and then, eventually bringing my baby back to the shop not merely “rode hard and put up wet,” but “drenched in sweat, with its tongue hanging out,” as he liked to say.

I swear, it was the most fun bike I ever did build, no foolin’.

So yeah, for a bone-stock Harley, the wheelies can be a real trick. But as this guy shows, it’s always best not to make any assumptions when you’re out on the street.

Yep, that fella definitely knows what he’s about.

Update! Well, how about that: turns out Buell is NOT defunct after all. They’re still available, hand-built bikes orderable directly from the Buell factory.

Maybe, maybe not

Posted on April 11, 2023April 11, 2023 by Mike

A surprise endorsement from Jim Kunstler.

You may have noticed that Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., announced he is running for president as a Democrat. I might be wrong, but just now it seems to me that this changes everything. First, let me tell you something interesting about RFK, Jr. Despite the family name and all the baggage that comes with it, he is not the least bit imperial. He’s unpretentious. He communicates in plain English (and with a damaged larynx). I doubt that he entertained any idea of running for office until the current moment. Sometimes the zeitgeist calls, though, and you have to step up, even understanding very clearly that you might get killed for doing so.

Mr. Kennedy’s life has been a rocky hero’s journey. He was a troubled young man, at times lost in drugs. He had a marriage end as badly as possible (wife’s suicide). He’s dedicated the past twenty-five years to fighting the growing menace of Big Pharma and doing it pretty valiantly, considering the US government and mainstream media assists all of Pharma’s depredations. He wrote THE book about Dr. Anthony Fauci, and it is a helluva book. He’s running in opposition to just about everything that the Democratic Party stands for these days. This must seem strange, but I suspect a substantial portion of rank-and-file Democrats may be secretly anxious to cast off the Woke / Deep State despotism that cloaks the party like a smallpox blanket. For many, it will be like waking from a nightmare.

Then there is Mr. Trump. He’s been on his own even stranger hero’s journey, considering his origins in real estate and showbiz, and his personal peccadillos. Mr. Trump also recognized the evil afoot in our country and he set out to correct all that. He was attacked unfairly and incessantly by people of bad character and ill intent, even to this day as he faces an absurd political prosecution in Manhattan. You have to admire his fortitude and resilience in the face of such massed official bad faith.

His first time around in the White House, though, Mr. Trump kind of muffed the job. He had many opportunities to disarm and fire antagonists like Christopher Wray and the perfidious generals who kept backstabbing him, but he just didn’t do it. He got played on the whole Covid fraud and still hasn’t renounced the killer “vaccines” developed in the Warp Speed flimflam.

While I consider the New York case brought by DA Alvin Bragg to be a disreputable shuck and jive, over which Mr. Trump will prevail, and while I recognize him as the current leader in the battle against a Globalist putsch, I think Mr. Kennedy would be a far better choice to clean up the mess that has been made of us. I was particularly unnerved by Mr. Trump’s speech at Mar-a-Lago the night of his indictment. I know many find his manner charming, but to me his mode of speaking seems childish and weirdly inarticulate — and the last thing this country needs is more rhetorical confusion. And I’m also disturbed by the histrionic trappings that went with it — the grandiose music, the myriad flags and seals. It actually has a banana republic flavor.

Mr. Kennedy, on the other hand, brings a solemn humility to the scene. Even in his quavering voice, he speaks clearly and with insight. He’s an excellent writer. He reminds me much more of what was good about our country and the men it once produced than the flamboyant Golden Golem of Greatness. I’m aboard for the ride. It’s going to be goshdarn interesting and I hope the bastards don’t try to kill him, because that will really be the end for us.

That’s all well and good, I suppose. But still: a Kennedy? A D卐M☭CRAT, for Cripe’s sake? Makes little or no real difference in the end who’s “president” now, of course, since those who actually run things don’t ever come up for a vote.

But still. Aesop shares my skepticism.

Please, Sweet Jesus, for the love of sanity, for his children’s sake, on general principles alone, the Secret Service, somebody, ANYBODY, TACKLE HIM AND DRAG HIM TO SAFETY WITH ALL DISPATCH!!!

1) He’s an anti-Not-A-Vaxxer

2) He’s going to run as a Democommunist to challenge Emperor Stumblefuck Poopypants Ist, after the crookedest fakest election in US history (and after his uncle’s and grandfather’s shenanigans in 1960, that’s saying something).

3) He’s a Kennedy, FFS.

Agreed. Plus, as Aesop concludes, you know there are already lots of sinister, shadowy folks out there thinking “HAT TRICK!” Can’t say I have anything specific against the man; certainly, his stand against the phony, dangerous FauxVid “vaccines” is greatly to his credit, even if nothing else is, which puts him one up on Trump.

BUT STILL.

They lie

Posted on April 11, 2023April 11, 2023 by Mike

Divemedic runs the numbers.

Math, It’s a Thing

A study published this week by the Kaiser Foundation says that 1 in 5 people in the US has a family member who has died after being shot. This is a survey pretending to be science. Let’s do the math. I will even be kind and use the Kaiser foundation’s numbers. (FYI: The Kaiser Foundation is a lefty anti gun pseudoscience think tank)

Averaging the data they publish for the past 21 years, they claim that the annual firearm death rate in the US was 10.75 per 100,000. That equates to 225.75 people per 100,000 over the past 21 years. Or in other words, one person in 445 has died a so-called “gun death” in the past 21 years. Even if you assume that each person killed is from a unique family, for 1 in 5 people to have had a firearm death in their family would mean family sizes of 89 people. The math doesn’t stop there.

The average family size in the US has remained stable at 3.1 people. The statistic is impossible, even if you count grandparents, siblings, cousins, and more. The entire study is pseudoscientific garbage.

With these hoplophobic fascists, you just gotta take that as read from the very beginning. I say again: stop yammering about it and just come and take them already, shitlibs. Let’s all see how that works out for ya in the end.

Oh, SNAP

Posted on April 11, 2023April 11, 2023 by Mike

This one has to smart a little. Or it would, if the raddled old soak had a lick of sense. Or, y’know, shame.

Wake me up when you want to talk about what kind of society you’ve created, where young people want to kill children. And don’t know what gender is.

The last 70 years. Inexorable leftward cultural shift. And this is where we are.

— BullshitSquared (blue check) (@xenophonrocks)

April 11, 2023

Ouch! San Fran Nan resembles that remark.

Via Glenn, who calls it “harsh but fair.” Which, y’know, is perfectly true.

You LOST, get over it

Posted on April 6, 2023April 6, 2023 by Mike

IMPORTANT NOTE TO HER HERNESS™: Nobody likes you. Nobody wants you. Why? Because you’re ten pounds of worm-riddled shit crammed into a five-pound sack made out of diseased-rat fur, that’s why.

And THAT, you evil, self-absorbed cuntbitch, is nobody’s fault but your own.

Hillary Clinton tries explaining how Douglass Mackey and his evil memes cost her the election
Hillary Clinton simply cannot accept America didn’t want her. And this latest nonsense where Douglass Mackey and his memes somehow interfered in the 2016 election is just more fodder for her bruised, wrinkled, evil ego. Did Mackey make some stupid memes? Oh yeah. But does any sane, logical person really think these memes kept Hillary from winning?

C’mon.

Watch her try and explain how evil it was, snidely pretending THIS is what cost her the election. Not that the most unpopular GOP candidate in modern history was still more popular than she was.

We used to think nobody’s voice would be more annoying and cringe-inducing than Obama’s…we were wrong. So wrong.

And how. But, as Alexander Pope famously said, to err is human, to forgive divine. Which, neither “human” nor “divine” are concepts Her Herness™ knows anything whatsoever about, as we all too well know.

TRUMPGASM!

Posted on March 31, 2023March 31, 2023 by Mike

After furiously auto-diddling themselves for six frustrating years with no relief, the Leftard cat-ladies and girly-men have finally achieved one, and the pleasure is so intense they’re positively giddy from it.

Did They Light Up a Cigarette Afterward?
The New York Times enjoyed its long-delayed tantric Trumpgasm so much today that it rolled out the full-page banner headline format usually reserved for the commencement of world wars. (They took the banner down before seven o’clock this morning.) For many of the cat-ladies employed as “reporters” at the once-august paper, it was the first Trumpgasm they’ve ever experienced in a lifetime of emotional displacement, over-eating, and furious knitting of pink polyester hats for the crusade to root out patriarchal wickedness.

This fulfillment of a years-long psychodrama, starring the feared and loathed occult persona of a gold-coiffed “Daddy” figure who once presided in the political household, came at the hands of dragon-slayer Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, archetype of the many long-oppressed victims worked to death in the bilges of our slave ship of state — now turned righteous Woke deliverer of cosmic vengeance!

This oh-so-satisfying climax, of course, is brought to you by the party of hoaxes, flimflams, and mandated death shots, so it’s amusing here on the sidelines to see The Times’s op-ed writers squirm with post-coital pleasure underneath the full-page Trumpgasmic headline. The lead editorial declares: “Even Donald Trump Should Be Held Accountable”— overlooking the utter absence of accountability that has been the norm in every recent insult to the nation’s dignity from wholesale and repeat election fraud, to six years of lawless depravity in the FBI, to overt support of Antifa and BLM street havoc, to the forced, deceitful administration of deadly “vaccines.”

Such pleasure! Such passion! Such carnal bliss! Imagine how hard they’ll get off from watching the eventual Trump perp-walk and incarceration on live TeeWee. Why, it’s ever so much better than the erotic frisson they get from enabling pedophile “transgender” degenerates to proselytize and recruit the children of Normal Americans in defiance of the express wishes of their hapless, helpless parents! As sweetly satisfying, as deeply thrilling as that surely was, Drag Queen Story Hour for eight-year-olds simply could never hold a candle to this!

Oh god oh god oh god, harder, faster, deeper oh pleasepleasepleeeeaaase don’t ever stop!!!*

Heh. What a classic old vid, no? Plenty of folks don’t know it, but Offspring frontman Dexter Holland’s genius is by no means limited to the field of music: among several other interesting achievements, he also holds a PhD in molecular biology from USC, no shit.

Be that little digression as it may, let’s not short-dick another thrill-producing aspect to this development for these hedonistic Leftwit pleasure-seekers: the destruction of the long-moribund Republic, and its final descent into for-real Banana Republic-dom.

End of the Republic

Is the title of this piece apocalyptic hyperbole? I wish it were. But everyone in the country and most of the people in the wide world know that Donald Trump has not actually been indicted for the crime of giving hush money to a prostitute. He has been indicted for the crime of opposing the Leftist elites and challenging their control over the political system. For the first time in American history, a politician – indeed, a front-running presidential candidate – has been indicted in order to destroy his political chances. Americans used to take pride in the fact that such things didn’t happen in the United States of America. But that United States of America is over.

Donald Trump has been indicted on the thinnest of charges. House Judiciary Committee chairman Jim Jordan, House Oversight Committee chairman James Comer, and House Administration Committee chairman Bryan Steil recently wrote a letter to Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, the destroyer of the republic, pointing out that “even the Washington Post quoted ‘legal experts’ as calling your actions ‘unusual’ because ‘prosecutors have repeatedly examined the long-established details but decided not to pursue charges.’”

Even the New York Times on March 9, in an article about how criminal charges were pending against Trump, that “hush money is not inherently illegal.” Working hard to justify the looming pseudo-legal banana republic action of arresting the sitting president’s principal opponent, the Times suggested that “the prosecutors could argue that the $130,000 payout effectively became an improper donation to Mr. Trump’s campaign, under the theory that because the money silenced Ms. Daniels, it benefited his candidacy.” So the whole thing rests on a novel legal theory. Charlie Kirk of Turning Point USA tweeted: “Alvin Bragg lowered 52% of criminal charges in NYC last year to misdemeanors. He just bent over backwards legally to raise the charges against Trump to a felony. WITCH HUNT!!”

That it certainly is, and worse. Former TV and radio host John Cardillo warned: “Don’t downplay the severity of this indictment. There’s still another GJ in NYC, one in GA, and a federal one connected to the Special Counsel investigation. We are watching the political weaponization of our entire criminal justice system. This is a constitutional crisis.”

Much more is coming. Many are saying that the indictment hands Trump the election of 2024, but it’s actually designed to do just the opposite, and the designers are not stupid people. The objective is to prevent Trump from being able to run in 2024, or failing that, to make it impossible for him to win. The average American still has unreflective confidence in our institutions, and will assume from the very fact of Bragg’s indictment, and the others that are certain to come, that Trump must be some kind of criminal. The flimsiness of the cases won’t matter. The public perception will be formed, and that could be enough in himself to make sure that Trump doesn’t return to the Oval Office on Jan. 20, 2025.

Then if all this legal harassment somehow fails, there is still the ballot harvesting, mail-in ballots, and all the rest of the new system that has been carefully put into place and will ensure that neither Trump nor any other dissenter from the Left’s agenda will have a chance to win in 2024.

America’s descent to banana republic status has now been confirmed, but it has been coming on for a very long time. Old Joe Biden signaled it on Sept. 1, 2022, in his infamous red-and-black speech, when he declared: “Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic.” For the first time in the history of the United States, a sitting president, such as he is, declared that his principal opponent and his opponent’s supporters were criminals who were outside the bounds of acceptable political discourse. Now the ruling Leftists elites have taken the next step in indicting Trump. After that will come various measures to treat his supporters as if they were terrorists.

This is a dark day for the United States.

Indeed it is. And so much the better for any Trump-horny shitlib. What’s not to like here for such “people,” prithee tell? It’s all deliciously tantalizing grist for the America-hater lust-mill. No wonder they’re all springing a stiffy and splooging in their Underoos over this. I’ll let my old chum and hard-rockin’ colleague Mike Ness have the last word.

For those who might not know already, Ness is a dyed-in-the-wool Leftist his own self, of course. What the hell, he’s a punk-rock musician and celebrity, born and raised in Lost Wangeles, so what else would one expect? I still like the guy; he was always really good to me, despite our glaring political differences.

NOTE: I had originally written this intending it to be today’s Eyrie post, but since Substack doesn’t allow video embeds for some reason, I brought it over here instead. So now I gotta scramble around and find something to write about over there, since IMHO the video embeds sorta pull the whole thing together and make it sing, so to speak.

*Why yes, as a matter of fact I DID write pR0n for a living for a brief spell back when I was in NYC, why do you ask? I make no apology for that; don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful, but as my friend Chris Pfouts pointed out when he first hooked me up with the job, almost all of the Great American Writers from the 20th century on did the same at some point, right up to and including Hemingway and Fitzgerald themselves. Being nothing anywhere near their league, I figured I wasn’t above resorting to erotic fiction for pay myself, if that’s what New York would require of me in order to keep body and soul together.

So there.

Wheels of “justice,” grinding slowly on

Posted on March 30, 2023March 31, 2023 by Mike

What, you didn’t actually think it was all going to just go away, didja?

Trump indicted after Manhattan DA probe for hush money payments
The charges against Trump relate to payments made to Stormy Daniels ahead of the 2016 election

Former President Donald Trump has been indicted as part of the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office’s years-long investigation, possibly for hush money payments.

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg has been investigating Trump for hush money payments made leading up to the 2016 presidential election.

These include the $130,000 payment made to adult film actress Stormy Daniels, and the $150,000 payment made to former Playboy model Karen McDougal, Fox News Digital has learned.

Federal prosecutors in the Southern District of New York opted out of charging Trump related to the Stormy Daniels payment in 2019, even as Cohen implicated him as part of his plea deal. The Federal Election Commission also tossed its investigation into the matter in 2021.

Trump reacted to his indictment, slamming Bragg for his “obsession” with trying to “get Trump,” while warning the move to charge a former president of the United States will “backfire.”

Thou fool. Wanna bet?

Trump, earlier this month, cited reports, which were based on what he called “illegal leaks,” that suggested he could be arrested on Tuesday, March 21. Trump posted about those reports on his TRUTH Social, leading the House Judiciary Committee to intervene, demanding Bragg testify before the panel.

Republican lawmakers and allies of Trump blasted the investigation as a political prosecution and a “weaponization” of the office of the district attorney.

Which, of course, is exactly what it is. And it won’t matter a damned bit, not even slightly. In any totalitarian dictatorship, being right is NOT conducive to happiness, longevity, and prosperity. Quite the opposite, actually.

Last week, Robert Costello, a former legal advisor to Michael Cohen, testified before the grand jury last Monday that Cohen was a “serial liar,” and testified that Trump did not know about the payments made by Cohen to Daniels.

Bragg then canceled grand jury proceedings related to the Trump probe on Wednesday and Thursday.

Sources, at the time, told Fox News Digital that there was “major dissension” within the district attorney’s office. One source claimed the district attorney is having trouble convincing the grand jury on potential charges due to the “weakness” of the case.

Uh huh. And yet.

Cohen paid Daniels $130,000 through his own company and was later reimbursed by Trump’s company, which logged the payments as “legal expenses.” McDougal received $150,000 through the publisher of the supermarket tabloid the National Enquirer.

The Trump Organization “grossed up” Cohen’s reimbursement for Daniels’ payment for “tax purposes,” according to federal prosecutors who filed the 2018 criminal charges against Cohen for the payments.

Trump has repeatedly denied wrongdoing with regard to the payments made to Daniels and McDougal, and has repeatedly said the payments were “not a campaign violation,” but rather a “simple private transaction.”

“I recently became aware that certain news outlets are alleging that I had a sexual and/or romantic affair with Donald Trump many, many, many years ago. I am stating with complete clarity that this is absolutely false,” Daniels wrote. “My involvement with Donald Trump was limited to a few public appearances and nothing more.”

Daniels wrote in the letter that when she met Trump, he was “gracious, professional and a complete gentleman to me and EVERYONE in my presence.”

“Rumors that I have received hush money from Donald Trump are completely false,” the letter read. “If indeed I did have a relationship with Donald Trump, trust me, you wouldn’t be reading about it in the news, you would be reading about it in my book. But the fact of the matter is, these stories are not true.”

But in March 2018, Daniels changed her story. During an interview with CBS News’ “60 Minutes,” Daniels claimed she had a one-time, unprotected sexual encounter with Trump.

I’m sure his future cellmate will be happy to hear alllll about it. Free advice to Trump Jr: Watch your ass, son, the Power will be setting its sights on you next.

Update! DeSantis smacks ‘em down, and hard.

DeSantis Fires Back At Manhattan D.A. Over Trump Indictment

“The weaponization of the legal system to advance a political agenda turns the rule of law on its head,” DeSantis said in a statement. “It is un-American. The Soros-backed Manhattan District Attorney has consistently bent the law to downgrade felonies and to excuse criminal misconduct. Yet, now he is stretching the law to target a political opponent.”

“Florida will not assist in an extradition request given the questionable circumstances at issue with this Soros-backed Manhattan prosecutor and his political agenda,” DeSantis added.

Good on ya, Gov. The people that don’t much care for or trust DeSantis—which, as y’all know already, I am NOT among ’em—will remain unmoved by this, I imagine, and that’s fine. Far as I’m concerned, though, DeSantis owes Trump not one damned thing, particularly after Trump’s recent foolhardy cooperation with the Vichy GOPers and other conniving swine who have all too successfully tried to drive a wedge between the two men so as to effectively defang both at once.

Nonetheless, I am happy to see this, especially the bit where Da Guv explicitly refuses to play along with the Soros criminal conspiracy by just lying supinely back and yielding up Trump into their filthy hands. Better yet if he’d tossed the FBI out of his State on their sorry asses prior to the bogus Mar A Lago raid, natch, but I can also see how that might have been too far a leap for any career-minded politician with a careful eye on his own polling and future prospects, even Ron The Great, to make.

Such actions are going to have to be taken soon enough, certainly, but HOW soon really amounts to a judgment call, if only in purely practical terms. So while I don’t necessarily agree with the decision, I can understand DeSantis’s reticence at the time and under the circumstances.

The time is nigh upon us when that final fuse that blows the whole powderkeg sky-high will be lit, no doubt about it. Even so, it speaks well of Ron DeSantis that he was sober and level-headed enough to not let himself be stampeded into striking the match prematurely, by anybody. Sour, pipsqueak-nobody bloggers like me can afford to be reckless, and loudly so, about such matters. People in DeSantis’s position, with actual lives at stake, really can’t. I get that, truly I do.

Schismatic update! Bill is skeptical.

It all boils down to what “not assist” means.

At any rate, it appears that DeSantis cannot actually block the extradition from being carried out, but it would take a federal court order to make it happen, I think.

I included Bill’s supporting link, for the obvious reason. Should DeSantis follow through on it—which may not be necessary anyway, given Trump’s previous declaration that he would surrender himself peaceably to the malificent “proper authorities”—it will mark the official filing of suit for national divorce, a step from which there’ll be no walking back. We’ll find out soon enough, I reckon.

Know thine enemy Part the First

Posted on March 29, 2023March 29, 2023 by Mike

I’m thinking I might start up a recurring “Know Thine Enemy” series like this here. Installment 1, Exhibit A for the prosecution:

It would be easy enough to just dismiss this mindless, hate-crazed freak as just another LARPing Leftard, but don’t do it. Remember what I told y’all the other day about underestimating the enemy? I repeat: Don’t. Do. It.

(Via WRSA)

Update! Do be sure to scroll down to the very end of the above-linked WRSA post; there’s a crap-ton of other good, thought-provoking memes there for your edification and…well, okay, enjoyment might not be quite the mot juste. But don’t miss a one of them anyhoo.

Stunning and brave

Posted on March 28, 2023March 28, 2023 by Mike

For real this time, not the way the shitlibs (ab)use those words.

Nashville Heroes Expose The Lies Of Uvalde Cowards

The Nashville Police have released bodycam footage of its response to a terrorist shooting at Covenant Church school.

The six-minute clip is shot from the perspectives of Rex Engelbert and Michael Collazo, among the first two officers on the scene. It shows impressive bravery, determination, urgency, and skill. It’s not an exaggeration to say they probably saved numerous lives.

Their courage is also a reminder that if Uvalde cops responding to the Robb Elementary school mass shooting last year had shown any urgency or a modicum of bravery, rather than sitting around a parking lot and hallway debating what to do, they likely would have prevented the murders of many, if not all, of the 19 children and two teachers at the school. Recall that one of the officers had a rifle aimed at the shooter before he entered the school but didn’t take the shot because he was awaiting his boss’ permission.

These are obviously highly intense and perilous situations for cops. Maybe I’m being naïve, but I tend to believe most armed Americans would rush into a school to try and save children’s lives. As for the police, that’s the job. And Nashville police offered a textbook lesson on how to do it correctly.

They most certainly did, and are to be commended highly for it. The bodycam footage of both Collazo and Engelbert, viewable on YewToob exclusively since embedding it has been disallowed, is harrowing and quite difficult to watch. It’s also a must-see video, for the window it provides into what these fine Metro Nashville PD officers faced as they entered the building, cleared rooms on the ground floor, and then went upstairs to confront the unbalanced “transgender” (BIRM) mass-murderer and bring her down.

To say that they had to have been absolutely scared shitless is no slight to these fine officers, for what man alive wouldn’t have been in their place? Yes, it’s their job, their sworn and sacred duty, granted. Still, the courage involved in swallowing down that fear to run towards the sound of the guns without the least hesitation, perform the job flawlessly, and redeem that duty cannot be denied.

Engelbert, Collazo, and the rest of their team yesterday set a shining example of what it means to be a man—of what manhood really and truly IS, and always should be. Let us hope that their unflinching, indomitable bravery will inspire many, many young American men to duly dismiss the Left’s “toxic masculinity” codswallop and follow that example to the best of their ability instead, for generations to come. They are among our very best and brightest, and richly merit every jot and tittle of the praise being heaped upon them today. Heartfelt kudos, grateful thanks, and a humble tip of the CF chapeau to them.

Update! Victoria Taft says it well.

It’s gotten to be a cliché to say that when we run out screaming, the good guys run in. But here we are again. The good guys run in to vanquish the bad guys. It’s a story as old as time.

The response was professional and competent.

I know I’ll get blowback from some quarters, upset for saying a video showing a bad guy getting their pre-ordained end will make anyone proud. But if you are upset, I’d advise you to go back to your fainting couch where you left your kombucha, pick up your latest tome about toxic masculinity and ACAB tracts, and save your breath, because I can’t hear you.

Nor should you wish to, Victoria; they’ve never had anything to say that was worth listening to, anyway. In fact, no decent person should even bother to try listening. That way lies madness, which is all the Evil Left has to offer. To Hell with every last one of them.

CF Search

Login, RSS, &c

CF Archives

Categories

2A/Mostly Guns

Alt-American

Big Dogs

Essayists

Mil

Nuttin’ But News

Odds Bodkins

Overseas/Non-US

Portals

Pure Bloggery

REAL Journalism

Substack Scalawags

The Funny Pages

Comments policy

CF Glossary

Subscribe to CF!

Shameless begging

Correspondence

Allied territory

Notable Quotes

RSS feed

.