Is it real, or is it satire? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

Media Reports Trump Threatened Nuclear War After He Says, ‘This Guacamole Is The Bomb!’
U.S. — After former President Trump declared his freshly-made guacamole “the bomb”, media outlets across the nation announced that Trump had threatened to drop a nuclear bomb if he were to lose the election.

“This is a clear call to civil war,” cried MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough as video played of Trump eating chips. “You heard the words ‘the bomb’ from his very own lips. Is there nothing this madman won’t do?”

Several media outlets reported that Trump’s threat of nuclear war came immediately on the heels of Trump vowing to demolish democracy when he claimed he was “about to demolish” some tortilla chips. “We are sickened to hear such vile threats from former President Trump,” said Scarborough. “Watch as Trump openly says he’s about to ‘slice and dice’ tomatoes. Slice and dice? Trump is literally saying he plans to cut every one of his opponents into tiny pieces with a knife. Horrific!”

According to sources, the comments came after Trump served up his world-famous guacamole during fajita night at Mar-a-Lago. The guacamole, a family recipe for generations, was made tableside by Trump himself and described as “absolute dynamite” in addition to many other violent and obviously pro-insurrection phrases.

At publishing time, MSNBC had reported that Trump also planned to burn Democrats alive after revealing that Trump described the fajitas as “sizzling.”

You oldsters out there will get the dated references in my opening lines, no doubt. The rest of you will just have to look ‘em up, I’m way too ornery and lazy to spell that shit out for ya. As for the jumping-off point for the Bee’s surehanded spoof, that would be this.

Biden Campaign, Establishment Media Attack Trump with Fake Interpretation of ‘Bloodbath’ Comments in Ohio Rally
Former President Donald Trump on Saturday night forecast a financial “bloodbath” awaits the U.S. motor industry if he is not elected and China is enabled to swamp the country with their products.

The comments came at an Ohio rally hosted by the Buckeye Values PAC where he discussed the possibility of an increasing trade war with China over auto manufacturing in general and electric vehicle types in particular.

Critics in the political arena and the general media were quick to wilfully manipulate Trump’s words and infer intentions on his behalf even after Trump campaign spokesman Steven Cheung made clear Trump had clearly been talking about the impact of offshoring on the country’s auto industry and his own plans to increase tariffs on foreign-made cars.

“Crooked Joe Biden and his campaign are engaging in deceptively, out-of-context editing,” he said.

James Singer, a spokesman for President Joe Biden’s campaign, issued a statement following Trump’s remarks, noting that former Vice President Mike Pence announced he will not endorse Trump’s re-election bid.

“This is who Donald Trump is: a loser who gets beat by over 7 million votes and then instead of appealing to a wider mainstream audience doubles down on his threats of political violence,” Singer said.

Yeah, fuck you in the liver with a fully-charged cattle prod, liberal liar. Not that the Vichy GOPers don’t stand ever-ready to give some assistance to their “esteemed colleagues across the aisle,” of course.

What I said above goes for you too, dickweed—twice as deep, twice as hard, until sparks fly out your baggy ass.

Update! I think it safe to say that Elon Musk is now officially red-pilled.

Elon Musk Wrecks Joe Scarborough and His Wicked Take on the ‘Bloodbath’ Hoax
We’ve seen many people on the left/the anti-Trump crew jumping in to help spread the “bloodbath” hoax, claiming that former President Donald Trump was pushing violence. Trump spoke about what a “bloodbath” Joe Biden’s policies would be for the auto industry if he was reelected. That’s it. That’s the “violence.” He was speaking out on behalf of the auto workers and American jobs.

Perhaps one of the worst was from MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough.

He posted a video of the riot on Jan. 6 with the words, “Donald Trump’s America. And he’s proud of it. Promised another ‘bloodbath’ if he loses again.” That is demonstrably untrue.

But X owner Elon Musk, who has been personally doing all he can to debunk the hoax, called out Scarborough’s disgusting and deceitful take.

“Jan 6 was not a ‘bloodbath’ by any definition and Trump was referring to job losses in the auto industry when he used that word. Your post is extremely misleading,” Musk responded. 

I don’t know if Scarborough has any shame, but he was forced to delete it after Musk busted him. 

Good on Musk for standing up for truth.

Ah, but is that all, you ask? Not by a long yard, it ain’t.

Twitter/X owner Elon Musk was busy posting to the social media platform that he owns Friday and Saturday, interspersing stories of SpaceX rockets taking off with searing political commentary about the state of our nation under Joe Biden and the Democrats.

One of his main concerns is illegal immigration, where under the Biden administration, as many as 10 million people have slipped into the country. Biden has made no effort to secure the border and casts blame everywhere he can think of – except on his own disastrous policies.

The billionaire and current holder of the number three spot on the list of the world’s wealthiest humans is not known as a conservative firebrand; in fact, he himself has revealed that he’s voted plenty of times for Dems in the past:

“To be clear, my historical party affiliation has been Independent, with an actual voting history of entirely Democrat until this year,” he wrote on Twitter the day before the midterm election. “And I’m open to the idea of voting Democrat again in the future.”

In recent years, however, much of his commentary veers sharply from today’s progressive orthodoxy, and he’s also been an outspoken supporter of free speech. 

As we reported, Musk visited with former President Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago in early March, sparking speculation that he’s going to go all in on Republicans. But at the time, he posted to X that it wouldn’t be the case: “Just to be super clear, I am not donating money to either candidate for US President.”

He warns that although the predicted red wave never materialized in the 2022 midterm elections, we’re in real trouble if voters keep Biden and the Dems in power this time around:

To wit:

Musk is way too smart—way too stable, confident, comfortable in his own skin—to remain under the sway of the stunted shitlib catechism his whole life, seems to me. His up-close-and-personal brush with drooling Progtard vitriol, irrationality, and hatred in the wake of the Twitter buyout—an ongoing ordeal generated purely by his uncompromising position on freedom of speech, nothing more—seems to have served as something of a wake-up call.

Then, as the Left’s (relatively) minor neurosis and emotional instability degenerated into raving psychopathological collapse, Elon only grew more sane, more sensible in response. While Proggie’s eyes were squinching tightly shut in yet another of their typical brattish furies, Elon’s had been opened wide, to behold a surfeit of grotesque, repellent reality off to his Left.

No, he isn’t what many of us would define as a “real conservative,” in all likelihood never will be. Nevertheless, Musk can be counted on to come down on the right side of the issue more often than not these days, and I say good on the man for it.

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