Damn that’s funny!

Bye Bye Birdie Biden

Posted on April 6, 2022April 6, 2022 by Mike

Biden, bye bye.

Democrats Prepare Biden for Senocide
The end will be cold. Up the mountain, set adrift upon an ice flow, or shuttled away in silence, geronticide of The Big Man draws nigh. His days may count less than one hundred.

Prepare to say goodbye. His pack of hyenas have turned their backs.

Bye bye? Sorry, no. The self-serving, crooked scumbucket deserves a farewell nothing near as polite, especially not from the much put-upon American people he’s ridden like a rented mule for five decades. More like good riddance.

The Bidens hold no value for the party. The Bidens are white, and a liability.

As for “The Big Man,” the Japanese call it ubasute. To carry an old woman up a mountain and leave her to die.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer asshole; t’is a consummation devoutly to be wished, as far as I’m concerned. As Glenn said in the Coen brothers’ classic Raising Arizona, somebody oughta sell tickets.

(Via WRSA)

Things you already knew; things you didn’t already know; things you’d rather you hadn’t found out about

Posted on April 2, 2022April 2, 2022 by Mike

Oh, this one’s weird all right.

Will Smith, Chris Rock, And The Weird Thing You Didn’t Know About Evolution
Sunday night’s on-stage assault at the Oscars—in which black actor Will Smith slapped black comedian and MC Chris Rock for making a joke about Smith’s black wife Jada Pinkett Smith’s baldness—was ridiculed on Twitter as “Oscars So Black.” This reference to the earlier “Oscars so White” meme bemoaning the supposed under-representation of black people as Oscar winners [The lack of diversity among the 2020 Oscar nominees feels disappointingly familiar, by Emily St James, Vox, January 13, 2020] was particularly cutting, because it was so obviously true. As I have charted in detail in my 2020 book Making Sense of Race, African-Americans—compared to White Americans—are, on average, and for powerful evolutionary reasons, more aggressive, more violent and more sexually promiscuous, with Smith’s wife’s extra-marital affair possibly being relevant to his reaction on some level. Specifically, black people have higher levels of testosterone than Whites, when imposing relevant controls such as age and obesity. But they have smaller testicles.

My Danish colleagues Emil Kirkegaard and Prof. Helmuth Nyborg and I have demonstrated this interesting phenomenon in a recently published study in Mankind Quarterly: “Europeans Have Larger Testes than Sub-Saharan Africans but Lower Testosterone Levels.” Our paper drew upon the Vietnam Experience Study which involved the mental and physical examination of 4,462 US soldiers. About 60% of these had served in Vietnam and the rest were controls who had served in other places such as Korea. The data were collected between 1965 and 1971 and then there was a follow-up study between 1985 and 1986. Testosterone levels were measured via blood analyses. There was a clear difference between the 3,654 Whites and the 525 blacks. Blacks had higher testosterone levels than Whites. (The study also sampled Hispanics, Native Americans and others but the numbers were too small to produce statistically significant differences).

But in addition, blacks’ testicles were significantly smaller than those of Whites. Testes were initially examined using a caliper to measure the long axis of both testes. However, after 1st January 1986, by which time approximately half of the veterans had been examined, the caliper was replaced by something called Prader’s Orchidometer in order to improve precision. This involved the medical examiner standing in front of the subject and palpating one of subject’s testicles in his hand. In his other hand, the medical examiner would hold Prader’s Orchidometer. This is a string on which are 12 testicle-shaped beads.

The following dissertation closely detailing the prescribed procedure for proper deployment of this Prader’s Orchidothingamabobber falls squarely into that last category in my post title, I think. Weirder still:

It makes sense if we understand that the pre-history of Sub-Saharan Africans is better comparable to the situation with gorillas, who have small testicles, while the pre-history of Whites is better comparable to that of chimpanzees, who have large testicles.

Hoooo BOY. NOW we’re getting somewhere. Hold onto your hats though, gang, because we’re about to leave “weird” behind altogether, stepping off smartly into “bizarre” territory.

Testicles are semen factories, so testicles would necessarily get bigger. This is the situation of chimpanzees. They live together in highly social groups, meaning that there is every opportunity for a female to have sex with multiple males. So, they have larger testicles than gorillas; with gorillas not needing larger testicles because they are unlikely to ever be cuckolded.

This applies to White-Black differences. Evolved to a relatively easy yet unstable ecology, blacks, compared to Whites, don’t need to cooperate as much. They, thus, create smaller and weaker social groups with less of an opportunity for cuckoldry. Moreover, they invest less in their offspring anyway, so it matters less if they are cuckolded.

Whites create large and highly bonded social groups, investing a great deal of energy in their offspring that they have with a smaller number of females, with whom they have less sex, so that they have energy to invest in the offspring. It thus matters a great deal if they are cuckolded and there are more opportunities for this to occur. As such, they need to produce more semen, resulting in larger testicles.

Okay, that’s it. Much as I do hate to interrupt y’all’s fun and all— hey, don’t think for a minute I can’t hear you perverts laughing yourselves sick out there, damn your eyes—I’m afraid I’m gonna have to declare TMI here and call a lid, Crazy Uncle Gropey-style, at this late stage of the game.

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I bring you glad tidings of great joy!

Posted on April 1, 2022April 1, 2022 by Mike

Rather, Aesop does.

Breaking: Biden/Harris Resign Ahead of Impeachment
(WASHINGTON DC) After news broke early this morning of confirmed widespread election fraud in Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, with further states announcing widening probes, the House of Representatives was set to debate articles of impeachment this afternoon, when news came from the White House that the current regime would step down, rather than force a constitutional crisis, and formally conceded losing the 2020 election.

Donald Trump was sworn in at his residence at Mar-A-Lago early this morning, and is returning to Washington D.C. later today to take up his interrupted presidency where he left off. Trading on Wall Street has been suspended in advance until next Monday, and gasoline futures have plummeted to $3/gallon on the news, with further drops likely.

On hearing of the change in U.S. leadership, Vladimir Putin has announced the immediate and unconditional withdrawal of all Russian forces from Ukraine, which was confirmed by unnamed Pentagon military sources.

Ambulances have reportedly been taking staff members from all major networks, the WaPo, and the NYTimes to hospitals in Washington D.C. and New York City, where ERs are reportedly flooded with a surge of patients with chest pain and possible strokes.

Early word from Capitol Hill is that with the dissolution of impeachment hearings, the Senate is poised to take up the nomination of FL gov. Ron DeSantis as the new nominee to serve as Vice President, after former VP Pence announced he would not be joining the new administration, by mutual consent.

Ordinarily, with any news item we’d have to take at least a little bitter with the sweet. But not this time; this, my friends, is nothing but pure, unleavened SCHWEEEEET!

Go on over and enjoy the rest of it, by all means. But don’t forgot to click the link he included, but I didn’t, when you’re all done. As comedowns go, it’s a brutal one.

Update! Thanks to liberal killjoys’ standard practice of sucking all the fun out of life via “fact-checking” satire and humor articles, PJM writer and professional funnyman Kevin Downey Jr says he’s not allowed to run any April Fools stuff this year.

If you think lefty fact-checkers are GLUTEN-free, you should test them for humor.

I was up until 2:00 a.m. writing April Fools’ Day story headlines and articles only to learn PJ Media would not be posting funny stories today because angry, self-loathing, “progressive” fact-checkers aren’t familiar with humor, and we at PJ Media are too busy to explain the meaning of sarcasm to them every time we post an article.

That means we won’t be posting OBVIOUS joke stories like this:

Nancy Pelosi Injured When Rare Springtime Florida Frost Forces Lizard People To Fall From Trees
Nancy Pelosi was visiting her new home in Florida and apparently didn’t check the weather report. She was sleeping comfortably in a nearby tree when temperatures dropped to unseasonably low levels, forcing lizards of all sorts to freeze up and fall to the ground.

“I swear, Rick DeSantis purposely did this to me and my people,” an angry Pelosi stated from a local hospital, which, thanks to DeSantis, was not full of COVID patients.

Though Pelosi did suffer a concussion, her transgender physician, Dr. Mangina, said it could have been much worse.

“The aging birther Speaker is lucky she fell into a large pile of empty wine boxes, which serendipitously fell RIGHT under where she was sleeping.”

You also won’t see these tantalizing headlines:

Drunk Hillary Clinton Ejected From Jamba Juice For Demanding Baby-Blood Smoothie

Transgender Woman Loses ‘Her Penis’ in Bizarre Tampon Accident, Rejoices: Two Hours Later Wants It Back

Emoluments Clause Anyone? Joe Biden Pens Deal With Chinese Depends Adult Diapers

Biden and Kamala Impeached and Convicted, House Declares Trump President!

Oh wait, I’ll hold on to that headline for a while…

Sorry folks, don’t blame us. We are more than happy to do these all day. As usual, liberals ruin everything.

It’s who they are, it’s what they do. Time once more for me to trot out my depiction of the patron saint of all liberal/Leftism.

They’ll deny it, but that’s only because, deep down, they know it’s the truth.

All over the place

Posted on March 30, 2022March 30, 2022 by Mike

This one is so great I just…just…I just can’t even.

There’s a lot to take in here pic.twitter.com/YcWkWcXu2q

— Dr Simon (@DrSimonCMP) March 27, 2022

The question confronts us: what does one even say to something like this? And the answer comes back: I have no fucking idea.

Via Bayou Peter), who seems to be about as gobsmacked by this as I am.

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A becoming modesty

Posted on March 29, 2022March 29, 2022 by Mike

It ain’t bragging if you can DO it.

Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true. While playing with the legendary golfer, Ernie Els, winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole. These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t. Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter about it, quite exciting, and people everywhere seem to be asking for the facts. Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene, Mike, and Ken. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging—and I don’t like people who brag!

Oh, of course not, Mr President, sir. Perish the thought. Your well-known modesty is in fact what so many of us admire most about you.

AHEM.

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Sticks and stones

Posted on March 27, 2022March 27, 2022 by Mike

Two funnies to enliven your Saturday evening: one via Revolver, one purloined from our chum Miguel over at GFZ. I’m happy to supply my own headline for tonight’s first selection: Dumb bint opens yap, beclowns self.

To the people who think Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump are crazy but that trans people are made up, that “cancel culture” has gone too far, that “men should be men and women should women” — congratulations, you agree with Putin. You are his ideological ally.

Yeah, okay, okay, sure. I agree with Putin, whatever. I far prefer that than ever being seen in public agreeing with the intellectually-stunted likes of you and yours. About anything at all. Ever. Now go swing that cute little butt of your’n on out to the kitchren and fetch me a beer and a samwidge, whydon’tcha.

This next one I like a lot better. It dovetails kinda nicely with my previous post, I think.

Continue reading →

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Obscuring the issue

Posted on March 25, 2022March 25, 2022 by Mike

USA Today rides the Shitlib Express along the hot rails to Hell.

In the 13th hour of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s confirmation hearing Tuesday, Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) asked the Supreme Court nominee: “Can you provide a definition for the word ‘woman’?”

Jackson, appearing confused, responded, “I’m not a biologist.”

Scientists, gender law scholars and philosophers of biology said Jackson’s response was commendable, though perhaps misleading. It’s useful, they say, that Jackson suggested science could help answer Blackburn’s question, but they note that a competent biologist would not be able to offer a definitive answer either. Scientists agree there is no sufficient way to clearly define what makes someone a woman, and with billions of women on the planet, there is much variation.

“No sufficient way to clearly define what makes someone a woman”? Bullshit, claptrap, tommyrot, PC balderdash. Defining a woman, as any real scientist could tell you, is simplicity itself. What makes someone a woman: two, count ’em, two (2) X chromosomes. That’s all, that’s it. If you’re sportin’ a set of XY’s, then like it or not, you’re a fucking male. Take whatever hormones you want, in whatever quantities you like; mutilate yourself surgically to your heart’s content, “identify” as a baleen whale, a slab of granite, or Henry V—you will never be any sex other than the one you were born as. Biology is sometimes harsh that way, and science—REAL science, actual science, not whatever it is the ones pimping Leftist moonshine for USA Today are practicing—can be a cold, uncaring bitch.

Update! Robert Spencer tells it like it is.

Predictably, the article is a big load of hooey, or as Leftists like to call it (and indeed, as it is called in this very USA Today article), “nuance.” One of the representatives of “Science” who is quoted is Rebecca Jordan-Young, who is identified as “a scientist and gender studies scholar at Barnard College.” When you’re getting hooey straight from Barnard College, you know it’s the finest stuff available: the Left’s latest pet idea, all neatly wrapped up with a patina of intellectual respectability, the appearance of dispassionate thought, and the dismissal of the obvious with the claim that the reality is far more complicated than the simple-minded layman can understand.

This USA Today piece is actually just one example of what the Left does to us all the time. Biden’s war on the domestic oil industry didn’t cause gas prices to skyrocket; these are “Putin’s price hikes.” There is no crisis at the border. The economy is booming, and job numbers are increasing. You can file these claims and others with “war is peace,” “freedom is slavery,” and “ignorance is strength,” the three Big Lies that the totalitarian regime in Orwell’s 1984 forced upon its people.

USA Today is playing the role of Obrien, demanding that we Winston Smiths break with reality and agree that 2 + 2 equals 5. We must hold firm, our eyes clear, seeing what is and what isn’t, no matter what they threaten us with.

Not any great hardship for me, since the very idea of cooperating with them, accepting their premises, or acting in any way as if I gave a damp fart about their thoughts and feelings is utterly repulsive to me. I’m with Picard:

Defiance today, defiance tomorrow, defiance forever.

Updated update! Long as we’re on the topic of who “identifies” as what, Peters has nailed down clean and tight exactly what the 15-minutes-famous swimmer dude’s true identity is.

We do know what “she” is, actually. That being an asshole. Something humans of both sexes have but which only a few are.

How do we know “she” is an asshole? Because it takes an asshole to steal scholarships and awards from people who deserved to win them.

“She” doesn’t – for the same reason the varsity football team doesn’t deserve to win the national trophy for JV football.

The same reason you don’t serve people cat and tell them it’s chicken.

See how simple this stuff is, once the Leftist smokescreen has been waved away?

Update to the updated update! The Bee provides a handy, helpful “Who’s a dame?” checklist.

Are you always cold?

Has a human ever popped out of you?

Have you ever decorated a bed with six or more pillows?

Can you tell the difference between cream white and rustic farmhouse white?

Have you run into a curb in the past 24 hours? Be honest, CAROL.

There are seven more, but those five would probably do in a pinch.

As if mean Tweets weren’t bad enough

Posted on March 25, 2022March 25, 2022 by Mike

Another riotously funny move, from the Grand Master of ’em.

Trump Sues Hillary Clinton, DNC, James Comey, and Dozens of Others Over Russia Collusion Hoax
ormer President Donald Trump filed a bombshell lawsuit on Thursday, accusing 2016 Democrat Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, former FBI Director James Comey, former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, the Democratic National Committee, Democrat law firm Perkins Coie, Fusion GPS, and dozens of other bad actors of working to destroy his presidency with the Russia collusion conspiracy theory.

“In the run-up to the 2016 Presidential Election, Hillary Clinton and her cohorts orchestrated an unthinkable plot – one that shocks the conscience and is an affront to this nation’s democracy,” the lawsuit states. “Acting in concert, the Defendants maliciously conspired to weave a false narrative that their Republican opponent, Donald J. Trump, was colluding with a hostile foreign sovereignty.”

Other defendants in the case include former State Department official and spokesperson for Clinton, Philippe Reines, former FBI counterintelligence agent Peter Strzok, and former Clinton campaign advisor Jake Sullivan, who is currently Joe Biden’s National Security Advisor.

“President Trump is going on offense,” Trump spokeswoman Liz Harrington told Just the News Thursday. “He’s naming names, and he’s going after these liars who tried to rig the 2016 election, and when they failed with the fake Russia collusion hoax, when they failed to stop President Trump from winning the presidency, they used it to spy on him, to try to derail his presidency and his administration.”

Harrington said that up until the 2020 election, the Russia collusion hoax was “the biggest political crime in our history.”

Boy oh boy, can’t wait until it finally makes its way into a courtroom, in about 2056 or thereabouts. The rest of the piece makes for entertaining reading, entertainment being about all the subject of it can ever hope to amount to in Amerika v2.0’s “swift and scrupulous” system of “justice.”

Wonder if Trump is fully cognizant of the unique position in US history he occupies: the victim of not one, but TWO, of the “biggest political crimes in our history,” he was. It’s a sort of left-handed badge of honor, to be persecuted and abused by such vile dung beetles as these “people.”

Rowling roars, Ronny D scores

Posted on March 23, 2022March 23, 2022 by Mike

Two people defying the current trend, one of them a standard-issue liberal on other issues, the other the most sterling example of what an American politician should be since John Adams. JK Rowling opens the ball.
Mega-author J.K. Rowling is standing up relentlessly for all people who are harmed by the transgenderism mania afflicting our society. A reliable liberal, Rowling has always been gay-friendly, feminist, and even sympathetic to transgenderism in principle. But transgenderism is a horrible concept in practice, despite Big Left’s efforts to make it appear life-saving and glamorous. Rowling is among the growing number of people speaking out against it and standing up for the countless people it has harmed.

Far right to little boy wearing a dress: take that off, it means you're not a real man.
Gender identity theorists: wanting to wear dresses means you're really a girl.
Radical feminists: boys can wear dresses, you look great!
Which of these two positions are most alike, Andrew? https://t.co/nR0mfguefJ

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) March 12, 2022

Rowling’s public statements on this issue have all been modest and mild, not really confrontational at all. Nevertheless, the frothing rage-junkies of the Batshit Left have blown their stack frenetically after each one, hurling big shitballs of calumny, incoherence, and daylight barking madness, peppered throughout with threats of violence and personal insults so outrageous they amount to arguments for confining them all to a nearby loony bin and medicating them into drooling catatonia, if only to neutralize the threat they pose to civil order and comity.

The incomparable Ron DeSantis, on the other hand, confronts the issue pic.twitter.com/tBmFxFE3q6

— Ron DeSantis (@GovRonDeSantis) March 22, 2022

Before he issued the proclamation, DeSantis said Weyant is “an absolute superstar and she had the fastest time, of any woman in college athletics. Now the NCAA is basically taking efforts to destroy women’s athletics. They’re trying to undermine the integrity of the competition and they’re crowning somebody else the woman’s champion and we think that’s wrong.”

DeSantis signed a law in 2021 disallowing biological males from competing in women’s sports in Florida.

The Florida governor is bucking the trend. Big Tech, Big Media, and their law-making handmaidens have punished people for stating that men aren’t women.

The words “genius,” “courageous,” and “hero” get tossed about far too casually these days. The Left’s extravagant deployment of these poor abused words as cudgels to bludgeon their opponents into either silence or active endorsement of their pet projects has rendered them almost meaningless. Not in DeSantis’s case, though; no matter how many times they’re said of him, it could never be too much in my book. They’ll continue to resonate sweetly in my ears like the biggest gong in Asia entire as pure, full-strength Truth. His every successive utterance or action just makes me love the guy more.

Unkinked, unserious

Posted on March 21, 2022March 21, 2022 by Mike

Or, as Arthur labels it, Justice for Cornrows.

House passes CROWN Act, banning race-based hair discrimination
The House passed legislation on Friday that would prohibit discrimination against people with hair styles associated with a particular race or national origin.

Lawmakers passed the bill, titled the Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair, or CROWN, Act, largely along party lines, 235-189. Only 14 Republicans joined Democrats in support of the measure.

Don’t ever let it be said that the US Congress can’t, or won’t, tackle the truly serious issues.

“For too long, Black girls have been discriminated against and criminalized for the hair that grows on our heads and the way we move through and show up in this world,” said Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass.).

Black women in particular are more likely to report feeling discriminated against because of their hairstyles.

Or just because, y’know, reasons ‘n’ shit, nomesayin? Back over to Arthur for some closing hilarity.

I love the name, the CROWN Act, cuz dey be thinking dey dreadlocks be crownz and sheeit. See also: Kangz, We Wuz.

Criminalized you say? For your hair and the way you “move through…this world”? This is a choice example of how blaque gals move through this world…

[…a few clips of random black-beeyotch violence and mayhem…]

Whenever they “show up” in the world, chaos and violence seem to follow them.

A serious nation doesn’t devote even a second of time to the “problem” of racist hair rules.

Nope. Then again, all sense of seriousness and mature propriety fled Mordor On The Potomac and its environs long, long ago, alas.

USA Today announces this year’s WOTY selection

Posted on March 17, 2022March 17, 2022 by Mike

The moment we’ve all been waiting for, I’m sure.

‘Be true to yourself’: A message from the nation’s highest-ranking openly transgender official

*groan*

Rachel Levine is one of USA TODAY’s Women of the Year, a recognition of women across the country who have made a significant impact. The annual program is a continuation of Women of the Century, a 2020 project that commemorated the 100th anniversary of women gaining the right to vote. Meet this year’s honorees at womenoftheyear.usatoday.com.

I’m fine with it, really, except for that whole “She’s a fucking MAN” part.

Levine, 64, a trained pediatrician, became the nation’s highest-ranking openly transgender official last March when the Senate confirmed her as assistant secretary of health. Levine has spent her professional life in medicine – as an academic, a clinical researcher, a primary care physician and as Pennsylvania’s physical general and secretary of the Pennsylvania Department of Health – but she admits her current role has proven to be the most challenging.

Beyond the pandemic, Levine said she is concerned about the challenges women and girls face related to body image. She ran an eating disorder program at Penn State University and was struck by the pressures of social media related to appearance.

“We need to be welcoming and celebratory for women of all aspects, of all sizes and shapes,” she said. “And we have to work towards that compassion for all women and not put such an emphasis on thinness and appearance. I think that we need to work as a culture in the United States, but also globally, to be more compassionate and more accepting of girls and women, no matter what their size and shape.”

Still, Levine believes that women are largely responsible for the positive changes we are seeing in society.

Because of course he does.

“Women are absolutely critical in terms of promoting healthy behaviors for themselves and their families and our communities,” Levine said. “I think women are often the creators of change. In terms of the changes that we see in our society and our culture, I think that women are those change-makers.”

Gotta give the mentally-disturbed freak this: he really knows how to tickle all the shitlib erogenous zones, don’t he?

Via Miguel at GFZ, who quips “Nothing says, “Women’s History Month’…Like awarding a dude the title of Woman of the Year.” Ain’t it the truth.

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Wait, whuuuuuh….

Posted on March 16, 2022March 16, 2022 by Mike

Looks like Gropey’s off his meds again.

Biden says he bets everybody knows somebody who’s had their naked photos shared online
Biden said:

“So we’ve established a new civil rights cause of action for those whose intimate images were shared on the public screen. How many times have you heard…I bet everybody knows somebody, somewhere along the line that in an intimate relationship, what happened was the guy takes a revealing picture of his naked friend, or whatever, in a compromising position and then literally, in a sense, blackmails her or mortifies that person.”

Um no, I don’t know anyone who this has happened to…nope. But I bet Biden is really talking about his son, Hunter.

Ditto. Speak for yourself there, Gropester. My own personal closet is free of skeletons of that particular stripe, thenksveddymuch. Well, okay, as far as I KNOW, it is. If anybody out there knows otherwise, please keep it to yourself, mmm’kay? Actually, I can’t recollect anybody ever even suggesting I let them take a few snaps of me in the buff, and can’t imagine why anyone would even want to. The worst and most bizarre Innarnuts “gotcha” on me is at Urban Dictionaruy, of all places, and I’m rather proud of it. Here, see for yourself:

The Mike Hendrix

A sex move where the male The Hendrix leaves the female The Chick halfway through coitus to make and eat a sandwich. When confronted about leaving the room, offer to make The Chick one as well.

The Mike Hendrix can be performed by announcing (“I’m gonna go make a sandwich”), or by virtue of leaving, but The Hendrix must make and consume a sandwich to be considered valid.

We were having great sex, but then pulled the Mike Hendrix on me.

Never have I done any such thing, I solemnly swear, not even once. So it may not even be me they’re talking about. But I kinda hope it is, to be perfectly honest.

OUCH!

Posted on March 14, 2022March 14, 2022 by Mike

Also: OOF.

GOP Sen. Mitt Romney still has his moments,

He does, does he? Name three. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

but it seems like those moments are becoming a bit less frequent lately. He still deserves an apology from Joe Biden and the Democratic Party for being right about Russia back in 2012, because he absolutely was. But over the weekend, he made a statement for which he should be the one doing the apologizing.

Yesterday, he accused former Hawaii Democratic congresswoman and military veteran Tulsi Gabbard of “parroting false Russian propaganda” and declared that “her treasonous lies may very well cost lives.”

As we pointed out in our post about it, the Russian government apparently appreciates Gabbard’s comments about U.S.-funded biolabs in Ukraine and has in fact been airing her interview on Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show on Russian state TV. But even taking that into consideration, Romney’s tweet goes way too far.
And, needless to say, Gabbard herself is quite angry about it. So this morning, she took to Twitter to take Mitt Romney to task over it…

Follows, a long and blistering Twitter thread from Gabbard that leaves Mittens a smoking ruin. Sad to say, the Threader unroller seems to have made a deal with the devil, sold for a mess of pottage and hidden behind a paywall, so I can’t do a plain-text excerpt of this glorious and richly deserved burn and assuredly ain’t about to transcribe all that myself. But it’s well worth the click-over, believe me.

I keep saying it: yeah, I know, dear Tulsi’s a Shitlibocrat, bassackwards and completely wrong about plenty and to spare. But dammit, I still like the cut of her jib. Unlike any of her fellow Demonrats, she actually does get one right now and then.

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“‘The brand is so toxic’: Dems fear extinction in rural US”

Posted on February 19, 2022February 19, 2022 by Mike

IE, what your saner, Real American sorts would call “a good start.”

The party’s brand is so toxic in the small towns 100 miles northeast of Pittsburgh that some liberals have removed bumper stickers and yard signs and refuse to acknowledge publicly their party affiliation. These Democrats are used to being outnumbered by the local Republican majority, but as their numbers continue to dwindle, those who remain are feeling increasingly isolated and unwelcome in their own communities.

Obviously, this is a wee mite hyperbolic, since if it was literally so this next guy would be pissing down his leg from fear at the mere suggestion of being quoted in an interview. Which only means that, even in its state of near-Nirvana, the good folks in northwest Pennsy still have work to do.

“The hatred for Democrats is just unbelievable,” said Tim Holohan, an accountant based in rural McKean County who recently encouraged his daughter to get rid of a pro-Joe Biden bumper sticker. “I feel like we’re on the run.”

*shiver* Okay, I gotta confess: I think I just came, just a little. But you guys know why this is happening, right? Take a wild guess. Just one.

The climate across rural Pennsylvania is symptomatic of a larger political problem threatening the Democratic Party heading into the November elections. Beyond losing votes in virtually every election since 2008, Democrats have been effectively ostracized from the overwhelmingly white parts of rural America, leaving party leaders with few options to reverse a cultural trend that is redefining the political landscape.

Yup, you got it: Racism, of course and as always.

With disadvantages like this, you can be sure that the fraud in the next major election there is gonna be absolutely epic.

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Comment of the week month YEAR

Posted on November 29, 2021November 29, 2021 by Mike

Not so much for the content of it, per se, as for a specific turn of…well, just see for yourself.

With old poopy-pants visibly failing and not even Democrats liking Harris, I am sensing an attempt to position herself for the future. “Hey Democrats! I’m rested, I’m ready! Shits and Giggles are obviously not going to cut it for 2024, so what do you say?”

“Shits and Giggles”?!? *snort* I damned near unmoored a floating rib when I first saw that the other day, and I’m still laughing about it now. I am SOOOO stealing that one for further use around this here hogwallow, Hap. Well done, buddy, well done indeed.

3

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