Free testicle installation

“Little Marco” Rubio: another more or less run of the mill, MOR Repugnicrat who suddenly found he had hisself a pair of heavy, clanking Big Brass Ones© swingin’ after taking a cabinet position in the Trump v2.0 admin.

MUST WATCH: Rubio Makes Van Hollen Look Like a Fool During Senate Hearing
Secretary of State Marco Rubio appeared before the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations on Tuesday morning. According to the State Department, he was there to discuss the FY26 Department of State Budget Request. Having watched most of the hearing myself, I think he was just there to have old white people and Cory Booker act like condescending jerks.

A few things stood out. One, some of these senators are incredibly ignorant about the way the world works outside of the United States and don’t need to be on any committee related to foreign policy. Two, Rubio is a thousand times smarter than most of these people put together — if it wasn’t so satisfying to watch, I’d be suffering from secondhand embarrassment for some of these senators after watching the secretary wipe the smug smiles off their faces with his facts and inability to be shaken.

But the exchange that stood out the most was the one between Rubio and Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) — you know, the senator whom no one knew existed until he boarded a flight to El Salvador to wine and dine a human trafficker, wife-beater, and gang banger.

Rather than use his time to actually ask Rubio questions — even crazy Tim Kaine managed to actually do that — Van Hollen spent seven minutes berating the Secretary on everything from USAID to revoking visas from students with ties to terrorism and, of course, his favorite topic: Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

He even attacked Rubio personally. “I have to tell you directly and personally that I regret voting for you as Secretary of State,” he said at the end of his remarks.

Rubio — after asking committee chairman Sen. Jim Risch (R-Idaho) if he could respond, given that Van Hollen never actually asked a question — didn’t miss a beat. “Your regret voting for me confirms I’m doing a good job.”

Good as that is, it gets even better from there, if you can believe it. Marco Rubio is probably the last guy in the world I ever thought I’d say this about—meek, soft-spoken, and diffident as he’s always come across—but whatever he may or may not have been before, clearly Rejuve Rubio ain’t about to take a nickel’s worth of shit from anybody now, much less a slithering Swamp critter like Chris “Bend Me Over & Make Me Love It, Nancy” Van Hollen (D-Rumpswab). Who knew? Rubio went from “polite, pliable, pushover” to “full-bore firebrand, stay back from cage 20 ft” in zero (0) seconds flat.

Basically, then, this Van Hollen dimbulb made the classic rookie error of bringing a knife to a gunfight, whereupon “Little Marco” wasted not a single moment before implementing the appropriate countermeasures upside CVH’s punkin’ haid, to the delight of rubbernecking loafers, passersby, idlers, and avid, season ticket-holding fans of Team MAGA!™ alike. Well done, Secretary Rubio sir, well done indeed.

For CA

So after noting WRSA’s post of what has got be one of Bob Dylan’s best-ever compositions (nota bene: I am NOT, nor have I ever been, a huge fan of Dylan’s), it occurred to me that I really ought to return the favor with what I think to be a considerable one-up: what has got to be the most beautiful version of said composition you’re ever gonna hear.

Gorgeous, simply gorgeous, si? So gorgeous, in fact, that you can practically hear your heart breaking. As perfect an example of the soul-stirring power of truly good music as you could ever hope to hear, this one is—especially on that last verse, when the vocal harmony line joins in and transforms the song from “pure genius” to “choir of angels” levels of beauty. Everyone involved with this arrangement, performance, and recording ought to be damned proud of their work on it.

Trust Teh Science™, baybee!

Actual science, that is.

Ummm…ooooops. Oops, oops, oopsie! ‘Kay, so who wants to explain how all this works to this poor, pitiful freak and his/her/its mentally-disturbed Significant Other, anyhoo? Not me, I’m staying right the hell out of this one. Damn pesky “Y” chromosomes, always popping up at the most inconvenient possible moments this way.

“Accommodations for trans people,” no less. Sorry and all, but I’m afraid we’ve all seen WAY too much of that sort of thing by now as it is. Thanks for appearing in our broadcast studios with us today on The Science Doesn’t Lie, though. As a consolation, all contestants who fail to advance to the next round will receive the home version of our game, along with a gift certificate good for one (1) month’s delivery of delicious Domino’s Pizza, completely free of charge. Again: thanks for playing, everyone!

Return to normalcy

Whatever “normalcy” means nowadays, if anything.

Let Freedom Ring! Trump Restores Liberties, Exposes Fake News, Makes Liberal Heads Melt: WOW Is it FUN!
I have been quite upfront about my alleged visit to the U.S. Capitol on January 6.

These days, I sleep well knowing that Joe Biden and his Marxist myrmidons are gone. I no longer lie in bed fully dressed until 7 a.m. in case the FBI kicks in my door and throws me into a cell without my Constitutional right to a speedy trial. In fact, I actually sleep well and wake up early to gleefully read what Trump said or did after I finished my Manhattan and fell asleep peacefully watching “Sons of Anarchy.” Why can I and other Constitution-loving Americans sleep peacefully? Because Trump is back, and so is the law of the land

Here is the sick part: all Trump has done is to re-establish the normalcy that We the People have come to expect. The fear of being tossed into solitary confinement in a D.C. gulag is, for now, not likely to happen to any American. Trump did that.

We peaceful conservative patriots no longer have to worry that we may be imprisoned for daring to speak freely, like that commie prag from the pinko ice cream company, Ben & Jerry’s.

That Marxist, ice cream-churning swine doggy was far more aggressive than I allegedly acted on January 6, and yet he knows he won’t spend a minute in jail having the guards beat the potato salad out of him. But he is too stupid to thank Trump for that freedom.

The only thing better than sleeping peacefully, drinking less to drown the anxiety, and once again enjoying my Constitutional rights, is watching Trump make the faces of liberals melt like those Nazis in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

I have spent much of my adult life in New York City, where I learned a phrase we didn’t have in Detroit, where I grew up: ball busting.

FACT-O-RAMA! Ball-busting, (also called “chopbusting”) is an East Coast phrase meaning, to make fun of someone/something.

Trump is a ball-busting ace. He knows what to say to make the liberals jump, jive, wail, and weep, and it’s wildly entertaining. 

I love waking up to see men in dresses screeching like the little girls they wish they were over a joke Trump made hours after I have fallen into a peaceful sleep.

I laugh like a marijuana-chomping hyena (where it’s legal for hyenas to eat the doobies…) when my few remaining libdolt friends send me Facebook messages screaming, “YOUR president said men can’t have babies! How do you feel NOW, Nazi!?”

I couldn’t be happier with Trump back in the White House. 

Said a mouthful there, Kev. Of all the many fine and wonderful things Mango Man© has done for America That Was this time around, the copious flow of shitlib tears just might be at the top of that ever-lengthening list. Another edifying consequence:

“We Study Fascism, and We’re Leaving the U.S.,” a Wednesday New York Times headline read.

Sure, plenty of well-known Democrats (mostly from Hollywood and the media) vowed to leave the U.S. in the event of a second Trump presidency: Sharon Stone, Cher, Barbra Streisand, Raven-Symoné, Whoopi Goldberg, Elon Musk’s gender-confused son Xavier Wilson, and even Cardi B rank among those who’ve at least hinted at that kind of radical action. But few of them have actually done anything about it.

But even the New York Times knows that nobody takes the vague premonitions of actors, entertainment media figures, and models seriously. To have three Yale professors who actually study the tragic events of the past century leave the U.S. because they think their country is going in the direction of Nazi Germany — well, that’s sensational.

The New York Times piece was a video opinion by history professors Timothy Snyder and Marci Shore who are married, and philosophy professor Jason Stanley, in which the threesome explained that they’d relocated to the University of Toronto, and they thought the U.S. was turning into a fascist state with President Donald Trump as its burgeoning supreme leader.

As I’ve said for a long time now, I could easily wish Trump really was the fascist dictator shitlibs love to weep, wail, and tear their hair out in great hanks about. If it drives idiots like those mentioned above from these shores for good, hey, that’s a plus far as I’m concerned. If this is fascism, then bring it on—all you want of it, plus some.

Eyrie up!

Well, not quite yet it ain’t, but since it’s Friday and I’m way behind on pretty much everydamnedthing imaginable, looks like a prime opportunity for another special Friday meme edition over there. Update here when it’s up and running.

Update! Okay, gang, she’s up, and she’s a good ‘un, if I do say so myself. Which, I do.

Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?

86 Comey, and 23 Skiddoo to you too, pal.


Steyn provides a little historical background.

Back in the Nineties, I used the term “eighty-six” in The Sunday Telegraph in London. It not being an expression familiar to Britannic ears, my editor demanded I explain it to readers, which proved rather complicated:

It apparently started in the Thirties as soda-fountain slang for an item that was not available: “I’ll have a chocolate malt, please.” “Eighty-six on that.” It quickly evolved to become the act of making something unavailable by killing it. On Broadway long ago, I once heard a producer instruct his director: “Eighty-six the dance number.” To a certain type of ne’er-do-well, it then advanced further to become a synonym for making you unavailable in a more permanent sense by putting you in a concrete overcoat and lowering you into the East River. To explain all that to non-Americans would have taken up half the column, so I eighty-sixed the “eighty-six” and replaced it with the more familiar “off” (per Webster’s, intransitive verb: “to kill, murder”).

Yet we are now expected to believe, even in the dirty stinkin’ rotten corrupt craphole of federal law enforcement, that James Comey could ascend to the heights of FBI director, the head G-man lui-même, without ever having a clue that “some folks associate those numbers with violence.”

As far too many Americans have come to learn, a citizen “lying” to the FBI is in big trouble. But an FBI man lying to the citizenry can do so with impunity. Yet “86 47” does not seem capable of being interpreted in any way other than a call for the violent termination of the lawfully elected president. So we have the most famous FBI honcho since J Edgar Hoover selling sea-shell arrangements on the sea shore and encouraging another shot at the President after two actual assassination attempts, one of which came within millimeters of blowing Trump’s skull apart on live TV. At the very least, it suggests that this weird creepy dweeb is too psychologically unhealthy ever to have been permitted anywhere near the Director’s office.

It is not normal to have a public discourse where senior civil servants are slavering for the murder of their political opposition. Have Comey’s official portraits in the Hoover building gone the way of Thoroughly Modern Milley’s in the Pentagon? UPDATE! DNI Tulsi Gabbard wants him “behind bars”. Preach it, sister.

Amen to that, brother Steyn. The whole godawful gang oughta be locked up in the hoosegow for the duration, beginning with the execrable Comey and working our way down from there: Fauci, Brennan, all the RussiaRussiaRussia “collusion” hoaxters, Pencil-Neck Schittforbrains, the Bribem Crime Family entire, &c.

Uncool update! After hilariously batting the Comey Seashell Blunder about for a bit, Kunstler gets down to serious funtime with Fake Jake Fapper, his co-author Alex Thompson, and the rest of the journ-o-rrhoids currently professing themselves to be shocked—SHOCKED!—to learn of something the rest of the country (or hell, the whole world) had been observing with their own lying eyes all along. To wit:

Also, not so cool, in the grand annals of the resistance, is the new book Original Sin: President Biden’s Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again, by journalists (cough cough) Jake Tapper (of CNN) and Alex Thompson (Axios). The book purports to explain how the entire governance apparatus of the USA hid the mental decline of “Joe Biden,” the phantom president. Realize, please, that the news media is a vital part of that apparatus, and has been since the invention of the printing press, with its crucial role (until lately) as a regulating mechanism on the engine of public affairs.

In fact, it is precisely the role of the news media to notice things that public officials try to hide, so as to keep citizens apprised of what is really going on. And that is exactly what the news media intentionally declined to do during the four years of “Joe Biden.” But then, at least half the country, seeing “Joe Biden” in action on video, did not fail to notice his ever-worsening feeble bewilderment. Tapper and Thompson seek to shift the blame for this game of Pretend onto the gremlins behind the scenes in the White House who ran the “Joe Biden” show.

Tapper and Thompson are lying, of course, and in exactly the same brazen way as the bigwigs in the Democratic Party who sponsored this treasonous fraud. Jake Tapper, for one, stated repeatedly on-the-air from 2021 onward that “Joe Biden” was a capable and effective chief executive and denounced anybody who tried to argue otherwise. Just as Thompson, while accepting the Award for Overall Excellence at the White House Correspondents’ Annual Dinner in April, lied saying, “We, myself included, missed a lot of this story.” Really? Then what, exactly, was “excellent” about his reporting?

Once they got going with that business model in 2016, they wrecked the news media’s credibility. And virtually everything after that has been an ongoing cover-up for their dishonorable malfeasance and the crimes of the party they fronted for. But the levers of power are in other hands now. There will be consequences for government officials who go to war against the people of this land, committing sedition and treason. Suggesting the murder of a president on social media is no light matter. By the time this blog is up, officers of the Secret Service may be visiting Mr. Comey at home. No need to batter down the front door with guns drawn, though. That would be so un-cool.

T’is a consummation devoutly to be wished, certainly. But I wouldn’t be holding my breath waiting for it if I were you.

Unexpected update! Might my earlier assessment have been a wee bit, umm, premature? Could be, could be.


Via Insty. As is so often the case, I’d be quite happy to be proven all wet on this one, folks. If the above report turns out to be accurate, I’d guess we have dear old Tulsi Gabbard to thank for it, bless her stout, undauntable heart. Along with Hegseth, whom I also have high expectations for, she may very well turn out to be one of the very best of Trump v2.0’s hires; among other things, she really does seem to be dialed in perfectly to the MAGA frequency, IMHO.

Last word update! Gotta be Bayou Peter’s.

The expression “to 86 someone” is a well-known reference to killing them; and President Trump is the 47th President of the United States. The message was instantly understandable to anyone who knows modern slang and “street talk”. For Mr. Comey to deny that he was aware of that hidden message is so ridiculous as to defy belief. As a prison chaplain, I heard similar expressions almost every day from gang-bangers intent on murdering a rival, or a snitch, or anyone they regarded as a threat. Street cops heard it far more than I did.

Sorry, Mr. Comey, but I simply don’t believe you. Your excuse doesn’t pass the “smell test”.

So . . . what does one do with a former Director of the FBI who has publicized a message that calls for the murder of our President? If he denies in court that he meant, or understood, any such thing, how can we prove he’s lying? The fact that any law enforcement professional or associate knows exactly what that message means can’t be used to call him a liar – to do that, one has to be able to prove that he knows/knew that he was lying. Implication or “common knowledge” is not evidence admissible in court.

This is what the progressive left does all the time. They call for crime and violence, while “disguising” – sometimes very thinly – the reality of their message. Criminals do it all the time, too.

Mayhem-pimping progtards, violent criminal thugs—waitwaitwait, you telling me there’s a meaningful distinction to be made betwixt the two or sumpin’?

As for “what does one do…” with a smarmy, slimery little rumpswab like Comey: unfortunately, the concept of the Rule Of Law doesn’t leave civilized people with a whole lot of wiggle-room on this. Yes, we all know deep down inside what ought to be done about/to/with “people” of his stripe—the phrase pour encourager les autres springs immediately to mind at this crucial juncture—but there’s a bright red line holding us back from going all-in, kicking ass without even pretending to care about taking names. Ultimately, we should probably all be thankful for the practical restraint which reins in our darker impulses, however frustrating it might be in circumstances like these. If there’s a pat, one-size-fits-all answer to this thorn-rife dilemma, I sure couldn’t tell ya what it is.

At the end of the day, I suppose, we can only content ourselves with the frail hope that, when the time for vigilantism, violence, and mob retribution against lying Stasi goons of James Comey’s loathsome breed arrives at long last, we’ll recognize that it has, and can then govern our behavior accordingly. Admittedly, “trust your instincts” isn’t exactly the sturdiest hook to hang an entire civilizational/societal construct from, but for the nonce it’s all we got. As our Founding Fathers innately understood, once the bullets have begun to fly you’ve passed the Point Of No Return—the only way out from there is to square your shoulders, grit your teeth, stiffen your resolve, shoulder your weapon, and slog straight on through to the (bitter?) end.

Can any of us propose with much or any real certainty that the Founders’ unswerving faith in the righteousness of their cause was so powerful, so all-consuming, that it simply didn’t permit them to even imagine the possibility of defeat at British hands? Did the OG Patriots’ religious faith shore up their absolute conviction of ultimate victory over the hated Redcoats to such an extent? With the confidence and clarity born of 20/20 hindsight (not to even mention the verdict of history), such speculation becomes effortless, the lone conclusion altogether obvious in contemporary eyes. Even so, it doesn’t seem entirely reasonable to think that, as Washington made his tortuous crossing of the ice-clogged Delaware River that storm tossed, inky-black night, he wasn’t gnawed the whole trip by serious doubts as to what the outcome of this life-or-death struggle he and his ragtag “army” had fallen ass-backwards into might eventually turn out to be.

After the passage of so very many years since that darkest of American nights, who among us would dare claim ourselves capable of identifying so closely with General Washington and his bedraggled, half-starved, nigh-frozen, exhausted men that we might somehow see those historic events as their own eyes beheld them? Not me, that’s for sure. Reviewing the writings of those extraordinary men at the time—private correspondence, broadsheet op-eds, rabble-rousing propaganda pamphlets, high-minded philosophical essays, and such-like—the blanket rejection of tyranny and fervent devotion to liberty, independence, and individual self-determination proclaimed so passionately therein certainly seems to have been sufficient to see those uniquely doughty, intrepid souls through the hardship, deprivation, and major setbacks of all and every sort, allowing their small band of like-minded Revolutionaries to wrest a new nation for themselves and their posterity from the once-steely but steadily-loosening clutches of the mightiest King on Earth at the time, come what may.

What strikes me as perhaps the most incredible aspect of all is that our noble Founders’ words, thoughts, ideals, and heroic deeds are all but ignored in American public schools in our own era, rather than being respected, reverenced, and studied intently as exemplars for contemporary Americans to model their own lives upon as they of right ought to be, as in fact they deserve to be. The thought of some wooden-headed fourth-grade teacher making mock of the Father of His Country for his wooden dentures or sermonizing about Thomas Jefferson as just another despicable slave-owning chaser of that sweet, sweet Brown Sugar before a classroom of giggling airheads is sick-making to me, it truly is. The one and only saving grace I can come up with here is that said giggling fourth-graders aren’t paying any attention to Teach anyhow; hey, they never do, amIright?

This weird attitude adjustment is more than just bizarre, it’s downright incomprehensible to me. In any event, the radical shift from profound admiration of our Founding Fathers and their world-altering deeds to near-total indifference for them—a course willfully, knowingly charted by ill-intentioned malefactors as part of a broader agenda—has proven gravely injurious to our once-great nation and Her people alike, as well as to the future prospects (if any) of both.

How do we fix all this? Again: don’t know, can’t say, won’t even attempt to right now. The one and only thing I DO feel certain of is that, at some point, the whole shebang is going to necessarily come down to shooting and bloodshed, most likely a great deal of both—more than any of us cares to think about, in fact. As history’s greatest cavalry officer, the peerless Nathan Bedford Forrest, famously summed up, “War means fighting, and fighting means killing.” It ain’t comfortable, it ain’t soothing, it’s pretty darned scary to think about for very long, but…well, as I always say, here we all are nevertheless.

The sad, inescapable fact of life in Amerika v2.0 is that men who would be free cannot live peaceably cheek-by-jowl alongside Leftists—it’s unpossible, for the very simple reason that Leftists won’t allow it. “Peaceable coexistence” is against their fundamental nature as bred-in-the-bone Leftards; they couldn’t change this even if they wanted to—which, if their readily-observable public behavior is any guide (PRO TIP: it is) they assuredly do NOT. If the last sixty-eighty years or thereabouts of ever-escalating confrontation, strife, and prideful, in-your-face interference, intrusion, and obnoxious personal vituperation being thrown our way at any time, in any place, for any reason or for no reason at all, ought to’ve taught Real Americans just one single lesson, this would have to be it.

CHANGE it? For Heaven’s sake, why would Leftards ever even dream of doing such an outlandish thing as that? How very silly, just complete twaddle; after all, in their stunted, enfeebled minds they’re the Good People, vastly superior in every conceivable sense to us greedy, bigoted, ign’ant, selfish, unevolved Bad People. Moreover, they’re right and we’re wrong, on pretty much every topic, policy, and/or issue you can think of.

Labor unceasingly to undo—by hook, crook, or extra-judicial decree—the results of the last election, after several years of whinging bitterly about their opponents allegedly doing the selfsame thing? Of COURSE they are! Duh Peepul chose poorly last time ’round, so they must be punished for their blind stupidity, piss-poor decision-making skills, and abject disregard for Muh Sacred Democracy™, which to Leftards is merely another, slightly wordier way of saying Government. Fucking slope-browed ridge-runners!

Hound the duly-elected President from his very first day in office until the day he departs, preferably before his term is finished and under considerable duress? You betcher! Fabricate from whole cloth an extensive litany of “felonies,” most of which aren’t even against the law at all, either local, State, or Federal, then clout said duly-elected sitting President about the head, neck, and shoulders with his supposed “crimes” without surcease, on every “news” program willing to book you for an appearance? MOAR, pleeze! Cobble together a weak-tea rotogravure of “articles of impeachment,” not a one of which even approaches legal justification to impeach? OH, you kid!

Hurl an assortment of slanders, smears, and baseless lies in the teeth of the sitting President accusing the poor fellow of everything from forcible rape of a butt-ugly, badly-aging serial rape-accuser in the Ladies’ Shoes department of a toney NYC department store to maniacally slashing the throats of Underprivileged Children Of Color with a dull butter knife on Pennsylvania Ave in broad daylight before a whole slew of eyewitnesses to declaring the US officially a Russian vassal-state being run by, for, and from the Kremlin to cheating on his high school senior-year math exam to ohh, you name it, then mindlessly regurgitate said opprobrious calumnies into every live microphone which intersects your immediate plane of vision as if they were all nothing but the God’s honest truth.

All this and worse being the case, then, all of it being dutifully pimped and parroted by the Straitjacket Left continually, ‘round the clock day and night 24-7-365, and it appears to me that direct, violent conflict with the batshit Left has now become a matter of “when” and not “if”; no longer is violent intranational struggle a distant albeit regrettable possibility which might still somehow be forestalled before any real harm has been done but a literal, widely-accepted inevitability—no getting around this one, not for you, not for me, not for anybody, no way Jose.

Once again, I refer you to Mike’s Iron Law #873 for a concise explication of what brought this unpleasant, dangerously toxic state of affairs crashing down around our ears all unlooked for, right out of a clear blue sky, as it were. Think of it, say, as one of those mid-summer Southern hit ’n’ run cloudbursts that come roaring in out of nowhere, raise immortal hell all over the place for about five-ten minutes, then are gone like spit on a skillet, leaving things even hotter, steamier, and more intolerably muggy than they had been before the T-boomer blew through and you’ll have the basic idea of what I’m talking about here. The grass and/or mud will be completely dry again in about half an hour, the streets, sidewalks, driveways, and/or other paved surfaces a little longer than that thanks to the inches-deep puddles in the runoff areas.

Just another example of something I’d sincerely LOVE to be proved all wet about, but can’t honestly say I expect to be.

Cherchez le (neurotic) femme

Ace has a look into a phenomenon we’ve all been familiar with for a goodish while now.

Shock Poll: The People Most Eager to “Disconnect” from Friends and Family Members Over Politics Are… Left-Wing Colleged “Educated” Women
Ace

Educated…? Let’s say “college-attending.”

Better yet, let’s just say “credentialed” and be done with it.

A poll finds that college-educated left-wing women, or AWFLs, are the group most eager to sever connections with friends or families due to their cultic “political” beliefs.

You don’t say.

You. Don’t. Say.

He goes on to cite Jordan Peterson—an exercise in futility if ever there was one, since the type of females under discussion here dismissed Peterson as a misogynistic, homophobic, Reich-wing Nazifascist crank a long time ago anyway. More and more, it begins to look as if the 19th Amendment has been every bit as disastrous for Constitutionally-correct governance in Amerika v2.0 as the 17th was. Not that it’s at all likely that anything will ever be done about correcting either of those monumental errors, natch.

Buncha clowns, clowning around

Our old blog-bud Ken Layne has posted the coolest friggin’ GIF you’re ever gonna see; hopefully it’ll work properly over here as well, although if it doesn’t, don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful, y’all. If not, you can always check out the original here, number 5.

Send in the clowns, there ought to be clowns

Now THAT’s what I call a RODEO, bubba!

Update! Nope, no joy, looks like; just a static image instead of an auto-repeating animation like it’s s’posed to be. Ah well, go check it out at Ken’s joint, you’ll be glad you did.

Inundated, overwhelmed

Got discharged from the hospital/rehab center on Wednesday afternoon, finally dragged my sorry butt over to the trusty iMac in dread of what I knew I was gonna see awaiting me, and sure enough there it was: over 1200 emails sitting in my inbox, not including the thousands already caught in the spam trap.

YIKES!

So after a cpl/three minutes of rueful shaking of the head I just said to hell with it, highlighted the first in the “unread” queue, hit “command-A” to Select All, and flushed ‘em away into the ether with nary a backward glance. Hope to God there was nothing important in there; if there was and you truly do need to get in touch with me for some reason, I suggest you give me another day or so to continue catching up around here (good LORD, the ziggurat of dirty laundry staring me in the face!) and then try again.

Many thanks to CF Lifer Barry, who was kind enough to spend a few hours with me in Hospital Durance Vile that first week, as well as my good friend the pulchritudinous and delightfully acerbic Ms Sarcastica, who sent me a lovely email expressing her heartfelt condolences yestiddy. Don’t know where I’d be without people like you, you make this whole painful blog-slog worthwhile.

Got a PayPal issue I need to sort out, thanks to some asswipe breaking in and fraudulently billing my now-defunct ATM card 50-some-odd Euros for some stupid video game crap I never heard of before. Also, there’s an odiferous something lurking in one or more of the Tupperware containers in the fridge I gotta look into, as well as the aforementioned Everest of laundry just sitting there…waiting. Le sigh.

Requiescat in Pace (see update post below from Big Country!)

Odds are looking pretty hefty that Ye Aulde Colde Furye Blogge will be closing the doors for good sometime over the next week (note on that – see note at bottom of post), as I make ready to go into the hospital for more ceremonial lopping off of body parts. There have been some pretty gruesome medical developments along those lines in recent weeks, with things coming to what you might call a head over the last three days—wherein I fell out of my wheelchair, hit the floor, and could’t haul myself back up again, thereby necessitating a 911 call to have EMS send a cpl-three stout fellows with the wherewithal to pick my sorry ass up and put me back in the chair.

This whole sad rotation not once but twice, just the night before last. Believe me when I tell you that the humiliation was AWFUL.

So anyways, yeah—I figger the remaining four toes on the right foot are beyond salvage, which I don’t so much mind; good riddance, and right straight to hell with ye. I’d like to be able to save at least some part of the foot itself, but my expectations aren’t high on thst score either.

Since my left leg was whacked and tossed into the hospital incinerator four-five years ago (along with my all time favorite tattoo, my Naughty Nun on L Outside Claf, Bottom inked by my close friend of many years standing, Erroll Engelbrecht of Raleigh’s Blue FlameTatttoo), I’ve known the day when Mr Right Leg would kpon Mr Left Leg was more a matter of if than when.

And now, well, here we all are, drat the dratted luck.

Thanks to one of my oldest and closest friends, who generously gave me a MacBook Pro a few months back, I won’t necessarily be out of the blog-loop entirely. Probably best not to get any hopes up too high out there though, given the copious quantities of morphine, fentanyl, and (my personal fave) Ocycodone they had me jacked up on last time I had to go through this shit. Update as and when, folks. For the nonce, that is all, as you were.

Update! Apart from being, well, macabre, I think one of my personal favorite Chopin pieces fits in pretty well at this dismal juncture.

ALSO: big hearted ol’ rapscallions that they are, Barry, SteveF, and kennycan have come up with a perfidious scheme to keep Ye Aulde Colde Furye Blogge up and running, at least temporarily.

Update! BCE’s post is here.

The latest from Monday, May 6 – Mike has been moved to the rehab center within the same complex. Mike is going to have a long road ahead dealing with the loss of the second leg… We’ll start a fund to help defray some of his expenses asap.

The Daily Donnybrook, and other fine things

Welcome to Ye Aulde Colde Furye Blogge’s shiny new open-comments thread, where y’all can have at it as you wish, on any topic you like. New posts will appear below this one. There will be blood…

Mike @Substack


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Memezapoppin’!

Welcome to this week’s installment of our Wednesday meme feature, folks. Links to the “found via” sources will be attached to the specific MiQ’s (Memes in Question) whenever I can remember them, which likely won’t be very often. Only the first two memes will appear above the fold to save on bandwidth usage, since I assume not everybody who shows up at this here websty will want to see all of them. This intro will appear at the top of each week’s Memezapoppin’! post. Enjoy, funny-pitcher lovers!

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Continue reading Memezapoppin’!

Classy classical music

Speaking of feel-good posts, here’s one I think you’ll enjoy: the closing section (ie, the Rozek or Little Corner) of Leoš Janáček’s Moravian Dances for orchestra. It’s short, but so sweet it might spike your blood-sugar level to unheard-of heights.

I’ve heard this soothing, laid-back piece a bajillion times on the radio without bothering to find out anything about the composer until this very afternoon. Turns out, he was a fairly interesting fella, just as most of the other less well-known composers I was pig-ignorant about until I finally buckled down and undertook a little snooping on the Innarnuts.

Leoš Janáček (born July 3, 1854, Hukvaldy, Moravia, Austrian Empire—died Aug. 12, 1928, Ostrava, Czech.) was a composer, one of the most important exponents of musical nationalism of the 20th century.

Janáček was a choirboy at Brno and studied at the Prague, Leipzig, and Vienna conservatories. In 1881 he founded a college of organists at Brno, which he directed until 1920. He directed the Czech Philharmonic Orchestra from 1881 to 1888 and in 1919 became professor of composition at the Prague Conservatory. Deeply interested in folk music, he collected folk songs with František Bartoš and between 1884 and 1888 published the journal Hudební Listy (Musical Pages). His first opera, Šárka (1887–88; produced 1925), was a Romantic work in the spirit of Wagner and Smetana. In his later operas he developed a distinctly Czech style intimately connected with the inflections of his native speech and, like his purely instrumental music, making use of the scales and melodic characteristics of Moravian folk music. His most important operas were Jenůfa (original title, Její pastorkyňa, 1904; Her Foster Daughter), which established Janáček’s international reputation; Věc Makropulos (1926; The Makropulos Case), Z mrtvého domu (1930; From the House of the Dead ), the two one-act satirical operas Výlet pana Broučka do Mĕsíce (Mr. Brouček’s Excursion to the Moon) and Výlet pana Broučka do XV stol (Mr. Brouček’s Excursion to the 15th Century), both performed in Prague in 1920, and the comic opera Příhody Lišky Bystroušky (1924; The Cunning Little Vixen). His operas are marked by a skilled use of music to heighten dramatic impact.

His choral works also show his manner of modelling the writing for voices on the inflections of his native language, most significantly the Glagolská mše (1926; Glagolitic Mass), also called the Slavonic or Festival Mass. It is written in the liturgical language Old Slavonic, but because it uses instruments it cannot be performed in the Orthodox Church service. His song cycles Zápisník zmizelého (1917–19; Diary of One Who Vanished) and Řikadla (1925–27; Nursery Rhymes) are also notable.

Like I said, fairly interesting—even though he seems never to have

  • Robbed any banks
  • Got drunk as a boiled owl, ambled around aimlessly for a few hours, then curled up and slept on any sidewalks, just so’s he could say he did it
  • Punched out a cop for no discernable reason, then ran away with his cop-hat
  • Abandoned his devoted, patient wife and two kids to run off with some wanton hussy years younger than him
  • Caroused wildly at all-night parties he regularly threw at his home—the guest list consisting mostly of fellow rowdy-musician friends (bringing their instruments along for the inevitable enrage-the-neighbors jam session, natch) all of whom were every bit as wild as Janáček himself was, including a bevy of the aforementioned wanton hussies who were all ditto—closely aping the drunken, lecherous, scandalizing carryings-on of one Wolfgang Amadè Mozart, from his mid-late teens right up unti his tragic, mysterious death at 35 years too young—among plenty others of his type, class, and inclination towards madcap, pearl-clutchinjg revelry

Okay, okay, maybe Janáček WAS kinda boring, at least as far as the Intarwebz knows. It’s still a great tune he wrote; even if he fell way short of the lofty standard upheld by most of us party-hearty musician types, from his era right up until last night’s After Party. Ya gotta give the guy that much, anyway. He’s in pretty good compamy there: Grieg, Sibelius, Paganini, to name but three, were practically teetotallers themselves for various reasons, most of which boil down not to any personal aversion to intoxicating spirits, wild women, and/or over-the-top, all-night blowouts at some fellow musician’s pad, but simply that they had neither time for nor interest in such-like frivolities, being acutely single-minded and purposive regarding their art and/or career.

Heck-far, even the incredible Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky wasn’t a big drinker, despite being a born and raised vodka-swilling Rooskie—although a big ol’ passel of music critics, historians, and fully-credentialed Professors of Music, all widely respected, serious-minded, and well-regarded men, blame his untimely death in part on the effect of many years of not-infrequent overindulgence in alcohol. Then again, others insist that Tchaikovsky committed suicide by intentionally infecting himself with cholera, which seems pretty far-fetched to me, so who knows.

From an eartly age and throughout his too-brief life, Tchaikovsky struggled with extended bouts of depression; anxiety over his homosexuality; monumental, everlasting grief over the untimely loss of his mother from…you guessed it, cholera; deep, unattenuated doubts about his own musical talent and ability, exacerbated by his home nation’s repeated rejection of his work as just not good enough; vicious scorn and mockery for his compositions hurled at him by his music-playing and/or -composing peers, blowhard critics, and scholarly, snootily above-it-all music historians. With all that going on, it was a miracle the poor, sorely-beset man managed to write any music at all, much less the remarkable, unique, literally music-world-altering music he produced. Confronted by a raging torrent of condemnation and a virtual tsunami of self-doubt, Tchaikovsky persevered and doggedly kept at it, for which superhuman resolve the whole world can be thankful.

Think of it: Fantasy Overture to Romeo and Juliet? Swan Lake? The 1812 Overture? The Nutcracker Suite, fer Christ’s sweet sake? T’would be a dark, dismal world indeed had Tchaikovaksky’s critics prevailed, thus depriving us all of those classic, unforgettable works. Fuck me runnin’, but those four pieces alone are entirely gorgeous, so far removed from Ordinary as to be unparalleled,, profoundly moving, Platonic ideals of the composer’s art—whatever the critics back in the day might’ve thought, said, or done, the fuggin’ tin-eared morons. Sheeit, Christmas just wouldn’t be very merry without Nutcracker on heavy-rotation at every local classical-music radio station, regardless of where “local” might happen to be for you.

It’s positively stupefying to me; although I haven’t heard all of Tchaikovsky’s copious compositional archive (yet), everything I have heard—which is a fair and steadily-increasing percentage, happily—I’ve loved straightaway. That so many supposedly knowledgable, competent, serious-minded “professionals” would so cruelly, wantonly torment and harass this supremely gifted artist for his peerless creations—very nearly destroying the man, his career, and his prospective legacy apurpose—makes the mind boggle and reel, it truly does.

It reduces the mind to that distinctly unpleasant, dead-drunk, confused, can’tfindmykeyswherethebleedin’HelldidIparkthecarandjustwhichdirectionishomeanyway? state of cognitive dysfunction and/or disarray. NOTA BENE: this knee-walking-drunk sensation has been known now and again to creep up on people who haven’t so much as smelled any hard likker in a cpl–three days. So watch out, that’s all. Vigilance, my boy—constant, strict, untiring vigilance. It’s the only way.

High-school drunk or stone-cold sober; frequent over-imbiber or scowling, pinch-faced abstainer; day-drinking, breadfruit-beschnozzed old soak or active, card-carrying member of the Reinstate Prohibition NOW League; jolly, red-faced career barstool-holder-downer or prim and proper old biddy whose perfervid, passionate commitment to seeing any- and everything containing alcohol of any kind, in any amount (including but by no means limited to cough syrup, household cleaning products, rubbing alcohol, &C,) banned once and for all is as plaih as the knobby, saggy-skinned knees peeping out from below the hem of her nothing-special, dark-colored, so thick it’s completely opaque even to infrared devices, matronly skirt—if you haven’t experienced this dreadful phenomenon before, take it from one who knows whereof he speaks: it t’ain’t no fun a-tall. Not even a weency little smidge, it ain’t.

Illicit production and/or consumption of Satan’s Own HellBrew to be punishable, by the by, via swift and sure execution sans benefit of trial in open court before a duly-empaneled jury of the defendant’s peers—12 men good and true, as the old saw has it—presided over by (in my dreams) an honest, unbiased judge, unapologetically a strict Constructionist of the Old School, tough but unfailingly fair. Along with the (former, now expunged by decree of MADD) right to appeal and/or judicial review of the dangerous criminal’s richly-deserved and/or morally-impeccable sentence.

From the present-day perspective, the persecution of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky calls to mind a marauding pack of jackals swooping in on their slow, half-crippled prey—albeit much uglier, more brutal, more senseless, and more incomprehensible than previous mindless-pack style assaults. As Tchaikovsky’s reputation and appreciation for his work continues to grow—soar, even—the bitter, crazed attacks against the man and his music from then-peers, even the governments of several nation-states, come to look more and more bizarre right along with the sadly-belated jubilee of praise. Y’know, precisely as things ought to be but too rarely are, not once the slavering jackal-pack has begun to bay, howl, snarl, and snap.

Too bad said critics are well past their sell-by date, so tying em all up to a big ol’ oak tree, pouring honey over their shriveled nutsacks, and leaving ‘em to either starve to death or be eaten alive by whole colonies of hungry red ants, both worker-drones and Queens together, is right out, alas. Too bad, too, that sail foams and YewToob weren’t around back then either, so’s we could hire a ready-and-willing team of eager young cameramen standing by in shifts to capture and live-stream the final wretched agonies of the critics in real time—close-up zoom-ins on the screams and desperate pleas for a nonexistent mercy that will never come, if you please, with my humble thanks to one and all for the excellent work.

Five to ten million views in the first hour, I guesstimate, ratcheting up steadily from there as the agony intensifies; the screams alternating between louder, then more hoarse-voiced; the hunger pangs begin to really bite, HARD; and the utter hopelessness of their godawful plight starts to sink in for reals. Speaking as a guy who’s never watched a live-stream, podcast, or any other such space-age gimcrackery and has exactly zero (0) plans to rethink my grouchy-old-coot indifference towards This Modern World Of Ours And All Its Wonders at this late date, I’d definitely tune in to this thrice-worthy production and watch my own self, start to finish, until the point when my eyeballs were bleeding and my skull had cracked wide-ass open—the better to plop revolting, densely-coiled, whacking great gobbets of my own personal grey matter all over the pricey, ostensibly authentic Persian living-room rug with, my dear. Hey, gullible customer, we have paperwork out back in our warehouse which documents your beautiful new rug’s authenticity; give me just a few minutes to run on back to the warehouse and fetch it so’s you can look it all over to your own satisfaction, ‘kay? BE RIGHT BACK…

*Checks watch; checks watch AGAIN; forces himself not to look at aforementioned wrist-mounted timepiece until an excruciatingly sloooow five full minutes has elapsed before allowing himself to check watch one last time, just for old-times’ sake; shakes head ruefully, disappointedly; exits store; starts car; drives back home; pauses before struggling out of car to send up an audible, impromptu prayer conveying his boundless, most untrammeled, heartfelt, and sincere gratitude to Almighty God for His Heavenly Generosity in preventing His Earthly, steeped-in-sin servant from making a complete ass of himself for the umpty-leven-millionth time. So far this year, that would be.*

Bound to be the laff riot of the late 19th/early 20th century, I’m thinking—more solid yoks than a Catskills Jewish Stand-up Comics convention; more raucous belly-laughs than watching some fat old rummy weave, wobble, and blind-stagger his way to wherever he thinks (mistakenly, like as not) the closest Mens Room at the local dive-bar is situated, his protruding, flabby gut shielding him from potential injuries sustained in numberless hard, wicked-sharp collisions with the bar, the walls, the tables, other unsuspecting bar patrons—although, in a pinch, End-Stage-Middle-Age Rum-A-Dum-Dummy is perfectly happy to make do with the Ladies, provided he can sneak inside there without any of his fellow barflies noticing his at best marginally-stealthy Ladies Room duck ’n’ dive, a faux pas most grievous which is looked at very much askance amongst the more polite, tasteful, culturally-refined and highly-Evolved, most discerning elements of the broader Society, perhaps even straight-up illegal to boot; more fun, ultimately, than the proverbial barrel of monkeys, believe it or leave it.

Your feel-good story of the week

The reunion vids, of which there many on the Innarnuts (here’s one), are real choke-you-uppers as well as awesome in their own right. But I wanted to post the story in print. So to speak, I mean. Pixels, ones and zeros, whatevs.

After year and a half in Gaza captivity, Billie the dog returns to her Israeli family
Billie is finally home after a year and a half. The dog was kidnapped from Kibbutz Nir Oz on Oct. 7, 2023. Since then, her owners have been searching for her, posting flyers, with no idea what happened to her.

Yesterday, it was reported that a surprising phone call finally came with information about the lost dog.

A Golani military reservist who had been serving in Rafah recently discovered the dog there. He wanted to adopt her and brought her to Israel for vaccinations at a veterinarian in the center of Israel.

There, the vet scanned her microchip and discovered that Billie the dog belongs to Rachel Dancyg from Nir Oz. Rachel’s former husband, Alex Dancyg, and her brother, Itzik Elgart, were both kidnapped and murdered.

This morning, Dancyg said in an interview with Kan Reshet Bet, “I hoped, but I didn’t believe she was alive. She survived because she’s my dog. She ran to the soldier, didn’t let go, didn’t leave him. It’s a huge joy. We haven’t reunited yet – I’m shaking.” She added, “If only Itzik and Alex were coming back too.”

If you watch the above-linked vidya, you’ll already know that the pain has already been reunited, and Billie is back home again with his loving owner. Kinda odd that the murdering Hamas savages didn’t just shoot the critter right offhand, crazy-ass Muzzrats considering dogs to be unclean, or haram. and all that twipe. Maybe Ms Dancyg should change the cute little booger’s name from Billie to Lucky. One thing we know sure about the li’l pupster: he’s smarter’n all Hell, running right up to that IDF soldier and sticking to him like glue the way she did. Good show, cheers, brilliant, and a hearty well done for all involved.

Silly question asked, answered

Ace asks in his headline:

Is It Time to Outlaw NGOs?
Ace

A: Yes. Yes, it most certainly is. Quoting from a Glenn Reynolds piece in the NYP:

We thought of them as do-good organizations set up by people who really care — about the environment, or poor people, or children, or freedom.

We imagined they raise money, help the downtrodden, send out press releases and engage in other private activities to promote the causes they favor.

They’re not government entities, we thought — the very name says that — but a species of private charity whose good intentions deserve the benefit of any doubt.

Perhaps some NGOs do operate in that way.

But as we’ve learned recently, partly as the result of Department of Government Efficiency digging, many “non-governmental” entities are really just fronts for government activities that Americans would never stand for if Washington attempted them directly.

As with just about everything else in or involved with Mordor on the Potomac, as DOGE has so amply demonstrated, it’s all deception, trickery, and deflection, nothing more. NGOs that are in every meaningful sense GOs? The “non” in place strictly to provide a ruse which will hopefully keep the stupes, dupes, and slack-jawed yokels looking in the desired direction? Ho hum, quelle shocked over here.

What needs to happen, but won’t, is an in toto junking  of FederalGovCo: dismantle ALL government entities; fire every bureau-rat; dump every existing Department; raze the whole sorry, sordid, edifice right down to bare earth, and start over under Constitutionally-correct guidelines. There is no saving this soppy mess, no “restoring” or “reforming” the US governmental Leviathan. It must be killed, buried, the earth over its grave salted, and replaced entirely—by something a great deal less bloated, self-directing, overbearing, and generally monstrous.

See what I mean when I say “ain’t gonna happen”? I’ll let you calculate the odds for yourself, Dear Reader, but I will certainly not be laying any money down to bet myself. I’ll save it for the one-armed bandits in Vegas, thanks; I’ve seen people actually win on those things. In fact, my late wife covered our trip expenses entire that way—more than just once, in fact.

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