Category: BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHA!

Comic relief

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Y’know, the thing I hate most about this awful, terrible, double-plus ungood Trumphitler regime is that not a man jack of them shows the slightest sign of having any kind of sense of humor, at ALL.

Vance’s RFK Jr. Weight-Loss Story Takes a Hilarious Turn at Rubio’s Expense
But one of the funniest moments was when he was asked about his weight loss by Fox’s Peter Doocy. “You’ve lost a ton of weight lately,” Doocy asked. “How much sauerkraut do you eat every day?” That made Vance laugh.

Vance explained how he thought he was going to give up sugar and social media for Lent. He described how he called Bobby Kennedy (Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.). Kennedy said he had something far better for Vance, and “way more intense.” Vance explained how RFK then had him eating a lot of high-protein stuff and sauerkraut. “Let’s just say if that was Fat Tuesday, Fat Wednesday never came.”

“So my advice to you is, if you want to lose weight, call Bobby Kennedy. But if you want to enjoy what you eat, do not call Bobby Kennedy,” he laughed.

Secretary Kennedy’s response was funny. Not only did he respond to Vance with a picture showing him being fed sauerkraut, but Kennedy trolled Secretary of State Marco Rubio as well.

And did he ever. To wit:


Heh. That Marco and his fuggin’ Pop Tarts.

Miller asked (Rubio) if he was MAHA (Make America Healthy Again) like Kennedy. He said he supported it, at which point his wife interrupted and said definitively no, he was not adhering to healthy eating recommendations. She revealed he ate Pop-Tarts. Marco protested that it was one of man’s great “innovations in the history of the world and comes in a beautiful foil package.” His wife said he eats “all the things he should not be eating. Every single thing.”

Yeah, no yocks from these stoneface killjoys, not EVAR.

Marco’s Pop Tart assessment, especially that “beautiful foil package” tag-line, just lays me right the fuck out.

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“The unerring predictions of climate doom”

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Gathered together in one place for the first time ever: all the busted, incorrect, failed, and patently preposterous doom ’n’ death prophecies from the climate-alarmist pants-pissers, bedwetters, and assorted ninnyheimers. To wit:

On the social media site formerly known as Twitter, John Wright provides a useful timeline of climate catastrophism in response to someone posting “projected” sea rise in Florida due to global warming:

For those of you keeping track:

  1. 1958 New York Times: Ice-free Arctic within 70 years.
  2. 1967 Salt Lake City Tribute, quoting Paul Ehrlich: Global famine by AD 1975. Involuntary mass sterilization needed to curtail population growth.
  3. 1970 Boston Globe, quoting James Lodge: Ice Age by the 21st Century.
  4. 1971 Washington Post, quoting NASA: Ice Age within 50 years.
  5. 1972 Brown University: Global climate deterioration due to Global Cooling.
  6. 1974 Guardian: Ice Age coming fast.
  7. 1974 Time Magazine: New Ice Age.
  8. 1978 New York Times: No end in sight to cooling trend.

Original source, with more listings than you might be anticipating, can be found here.

(Via Hoyt)

Airport memorializing

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Best and most apt Dolly memorial I’ve seen so far.


Only D and DD? Sorry, but I was married to a DD-Plus gal myself, and I can say with no little authority that Dolly was a Triple or Fourple-D, if not even larger than.

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Schooling Fake Jake

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All right, class, what have we learned today?


CLUE FOR THE CLUELESS: The Secret Service’s job, in fact its primary raison d’être, is to PROTECT THE PRESIDENT. “White House staffers,” not so much. “Reporters,” not at ALL.

(Via Stephen Green)

“Solidarity”

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For anybody wondering what the hell I was talking about at the end of that last post.

Solidarity 1.

Either that, or staple your lips shut, ya puss-cake. Onwards.

Solidarity 2.

Ahh, but is there more, you ask? Oh, you betcher.

Solidarity 3.

In sum, then.

Solidarity 4.

‘Nuff said.

Get lost, Raghead Red

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Remember the petition (I wrote about it here) calling for MammyJammy to be disinvited and disbarred from the 25th anniversary 9/11 memorial ceremonies coming up this September? Actress Patricia Heaton, bless her stout heart, certainly does.

Patricia Heaton Supports Petition to Ban NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani From 9/11 Event: ‘Keep It Going’
A petition to ban New York City Mayor Zohran Mamadani from a 9/11 anniversary ceremony has gained over 40,000 signatures, and it now has at least one celebrity supporter — Patricia Heaton.

On Monday, July 27, the Everybody Loves Raymond alum, 68, reshared a post about the petition via X. “Keep it going New Yorkers,” Heaton wrote.

People were divided in the comment section, with one person advising Heaton to “stay out of politics,” while others supported her stance.

As Globe previously reported, the petition was created on July 9 by Giovanni Galante, who lost his wife in the September 11th attacks.

WhammyBammy really ought to have sense enough to realize, what with his numerous radical Mooselimb buddies, his blatant support of jihad, the vile Paleosimians, and every other Moslem-supremacist cause under the sun, he’d have to have a pair of truly gi-normous brass ones to even dream of showing his face at a place where he so clearly has no business being. Bad enough that he’s been allowed to roost in the lovely and historic Gracie Mansion as mayor—something I still can’t quite get my head around, frankly.

Deep-fried Fauci

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And here, his troubles began.

Rand Paul Orders Fauci’s Lawyer Removed As Hearing Grows Chaotic
Former director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases — and apparently, serial perjurer — Anthony Fauci pleaded the Fifth Amendment and had his lawyer answer for him one too many times during a congressional hearing Wednesday.

Senate Republicans are a lot of talk and no action most of the time. But it is understandable that Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) would want to harangue Fauci after the release of Fauci’s journal logs at NIAID during the COVID-19 pandemic revealed that Fauci repeatedly lied under oath to Congress. Fauci understands that pretty much anything he admits is incriminating at this point, which is why he kept having his lawyer answer. But a congressional hearing is not the same thing as an ordinary court, and one’s lawyer cannot simply answer questions from a senator without permission nor sit in the incorrect seat.

One of the most damning contradictions between Fauci’s public and congressional testimony versus what he was saying in private regarded his journal admission that the COVID vaccines were not in fact effective at preventing transmission. In May 2021, Fauci said during an interview aimed specifically at children, “But if you get vaccinated, when the virus tries to infect you, the virus can’t because you are protected.” In November of that year, Fauci told Business Insider that he didn’t know what parents were waiting for to inject their toddlers with the COVID-19 vaccines.

I doubt there’s any sensible, sane sort who seriously expects Fauci will ever face real justice for his serial crimes against the nation, the US Constitution, and its citizenry (which, far as I’m concerned, could only mean death by hanging), or even prison time. But he’s by no means out of the woods all the same; for one thing, he has America’s Governator on his despicable, lying ass too.

Biden-Pardoned Fauci Now Faces Florida State Investigation
It seems Dr. Anthony Fauci, his rapid-fire invocations of the Fifth Amendment, presidential pardon and all, isn’t out of the woods yet. Here at RedState and pretty much everywhere else in the known universe where people are following all this, we’ve noted that the pardon doesn’t protect Dr. Fauci from charges at the state level.

And, the first state to take action on that possibility? Florida. The Sunshine State is launching an investigation into Dr. Fauci and his economy-crushing COVID-19 debacle.

So, what crimes might Dr. Fauci be on the hook for in Florida? The state of Florida may seek charges for civil rights violations resulting from the pandemic restrictions, which were ruinous to small businesses and damaging to schoolkids, who missed out on months of in-person instruction. But those matters are generally civil cases, not criminal ones. Florida may seek to file a civil lawsuit, but for better or for worse, Dr. Fauci was a federal employee making decisions that affected national policy; it’s hard to see a state, any state, pursuing criminal charges against him.

Governor Ron DeSantis was a vocal opponent of the COVID lockdowns, and Florida was among the first states to drop those restrictions. But it’s a little hard to see that developing into a criminal case, one that would convince a grand jury to return an indictment.

But civil liability? That may well be another story.

Possibly the most gratifying thing I’ve read all day on this is an account which reported—after feebly pleading the Fifth over a hundred times; having his lawyer unceremoniously chucked out of the Senate chambers; and being closely, aggressively questioned by several Sentaors included Paul Hawly, and Moreno—that Fauci the Poisonous Dwarf slunk away from his ordeal with tail dragging and head bowed, his rep forever destroyed by his own hubris, greed, and vanity. Happily, Fauci’s “legacy” will not now be what he had so desperately hoped it might, but rather one of disgrace, dishonesty, and disfavor.

Fauci, far from being the courageous, über-intelligent superhero whi stars in his idle fantasies, is nothing but a mediocrity who—via deceit, malfeasance, and stark contempt for scientific rigor—maneged to parlay an over-extended career as a big-government bureacrat into  personal wealth and, if not exactly fame, then notoriety anyway. If nothing else, no one should ever address him as “Doctor” again; he ain’t one—ain’t ever been, ain’t ever gonna be.

Update! Ross posts a Fauci Meme-Storm, and boy, is it EVER. Like the man says, somebody had to do it. My personal favorite:


Fraudulent Fauci as Dr Hannibal Lecter, Rand Paul as Sophie Cunningham—I ask you, what’s not to like here?

Updated update! At the end of his Fauci Meme Shitstorm, Ross links to another great find that I’ve had sitting in an open tab for days now, just waiting for me to finally get around to it: Dr EVIL: Fauci, the Comic Book.

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Hit ‘im again, John

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Dunderhead opens yap, DeSantis slaps it shut

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Not at all surprising that America’s Governor would have a Silent Cal quote ready to hand with which he could fire back at MomCommie’s intentionally-insulting 4th of July remarks.


Show more defiance:

…that we may therefore very well discard their conclusions for something more modern. But that reasoning can not be applied to this great charter. If all men are created equal, that is final. If they are endowed with inalienable rights, that is final. If governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed, that is final. No advance, no progress can be made beyond these propositions. If anyone wishes to deny their truth or their soundness, the only direction in which he can proceed historically is not forward, but backward toward the time when there was no equality, no rights of the individual, no rule of the people. Those who wish to proceed in that direction can not lay claim to progress. They are reactionary. Their ideas are not more modern, but more ancient, than those of the Revolutionary fathers.”/p>

I still maintain that Calvin Coolidge was the greatest US President since Jefferson, possibly the GOAT. Likewise, Ron the Great is perhaps the best Governor of them all, ever; it’s a measure of how very far we’ve fallen that I can’t think of a single Gov to compare to him right offhand, much less rival him. I think it safe to say that his reverence for Coolidge parallels my own, and for the same excellent reasons.

What took ya so long?

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Beautiful—and about damned time, too.

Local Officials Vow To Shield the Public from Virginia’s Authoritarian New Gun Laws
A new chapter in the never-ending battle between centralized power and local control

“The assault weapons ban and the public carry ban are obviously unconstitutional,” Spotsylvania County Commonwealth’s Attorney Ryan Mehaffey, a Republican, informed 7News earlier this month. “And it’s incumbent upon constitutional officers in Virginia to come out and clearly state that they cannot be lawfully enforced, and to defend the people’s rights to keep and bear arms.”

Mehaffey has been joined by prosecutors from at least 15 other jurisdictions. On June 5, Hanover County Sheriff Gregory Six announced that he “shares many of the concerns that have been expressed regarding the constitutional implications of these laws” and that “the Hanover County Sheriff’s Office will exercise its lawful discretion and will not pursue enforcement actions under these new laws while the courts consider the pending constitutional challenges.”

These skeptics make a strong case. Last week, Lancaster County Circuit Judge John Martin issued a preliminary injunction against enforcement of the ban on so-called “assault weapons.” He considers it likely the prohibition will be found in violation of state constitutional protections.

Basically, Democrats won the last election and immediately moved to implement their long-stymied gun control agenda in a state populated by people with widely divergent views and lifestyles. They’re running up against a lack of cooperation from local officials who do most of the arresting and prosecuting.

Unsurprisingly, the politicians who pushed for the restrictive new laws that are set to take effect next month are unhappy that so many local officials disdain their legislative efforts.

“Commonwealth’s Attorneys are elected to enforce our laws, which is what we expect them to do when these laws take effect on July 1,” complained Virginia Attorney General Jay Jones.

Why, certainly, asswart—assuming, of course and as always, that said laws comport and comply fully with the Second Amendment to the US Constitution, that is. If not, as you have just learned to your great annoyance, all bets are off, as long as there are even a mere handful of officials who remember what exactly this country was supposed to be all about…but, thanks to shitlib scum like yourself, no longer truly is.

No bad dogs

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Your feel-good story of the week.

MEMPHIS, TN — A Memphis man learned the hard way this week that not every backyard appliance is part of the city’s unofficial “take what you can carry” rewards program.

Police say 41-year-old Leonard “Lil Riblet” Barksdale allegedly hopped a privacy fence in Southeast Memphis around 2:13 AM after spotting what he reportedly described as:

“a lightly supervised gas grill.”

According to neighbors, Lil Riblet moved through the backyard “with the confidence of a man who’s never once considered consequences.”

That confidence lasted approximately four seconds.

Because waiting in the yard was Memphiszilla…

a pit bull described by witnesses as:

“Built like a refrigerator with childhood trauma.”

Authorities say the dog immediately activated what experts are now calling:

“The Find Out Phase.”

Neighbors reported hearing screaming so intense one woman thought somebody was auditioning for a gospel solo three streets over.

One resident said:

“That man hit notes that could remove wallpaper.”

Police say Lil Riblet attempted multiple escape strategies, including:

  • Climbing a trampoline
  • Throwing a lawn chair as a peace offering
  • Yelling “BAD DOG” in a voice cracking like a middle school clarinet
  • And at one point allegedly trying to negotiate: “Bro please… I don’t even need the grill anymore.”

But Memphiszilla was reportedly unmoved.

Investigators say the suspect eventually climbed onto a patio table and called 911 HIMSELF while the dog circled below like a furry tax collector.

Dispatchers reportedly struggled to understand him because he was simultaneously crying, wheezing, and screaming:

“HE GOT MY SLIDES!”

When officers arrived, they found Lil Riblet apologizing directly to Jesus.

I won’t even speculate on what that jibber-jabber about his “slides” might be all about. In any event, TH’s closer is priceless:

In Memphis, you might steal somebody’s grill…

…but sometimes the grill comes with teeth.

Heh. Effing BRILLIANT, start to finish. Yes, there’s a pic of the shredded spook included, which is sure to make your day no matter how rotten a mood you’re in.

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We cannot spare this man, Sen John Kennedy

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He fights.

He Said What He Said: Sen. Kennedy Flattens Schumer, Platner As the ‘Platner Wing’ Tightens Its Grip
As I wrote on Thursday, the results of the Maine Democrat Senate primary made clear that a majority of the Democrats who voted wouldn’t care if Graham Platner kicked puppies, crushed butterflies with his bare hand, and stole old ladies’ purses, much less be a Nazi sympathizer and allegedly physically abusive towards a woman, provided he does his part in giving the party control of the U.S. Senate.

While he has his true believers in the Senate, like Sens. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) and Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), others, like Sen. Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY), have been purposely avoiding saying too much about Platner, and his Republican colleague, Sen.John Kennedy (R-LA), knows exactly why.

Kennedy has made it a point this week on at least two occasions – one on the Senate floor and one in a Fox News interview – to point out how it’s now the “Platner wing” of the party that controls it, and also to warn folks exactly what that entails and the kind of person Graham Platner is and what he represents.

Better sit down for this, folks. If you know Sen Kennedy at all, you know it’s gonna be not just good, but effin’ GREAT.

In his Senate floor speech, Kennedy observed that Schumer was now “taking his orders from the Graham Platner wing of the Democratic Party” because that wing of the party “is in control.”

“Many members of Democratic leadership are scared to death, and they’re gonna do what the Graham Platner wing of the party wants,” he went on to say. They want to “burn it down, they want chaos, because they think it will help them win the midterm elections.”

Heh. Oh, but wait, it gets even better still.

Mr. Platner seems to be one of the new faces of the loon wing of the Democratic Party. Clearly, he’s angry. When I see him on TV, he always looks like he’s straining to have a stool.

His supporters say no, you don’t understand him. He’s just idiosyncratic. I guess he goose steps to the beat of his own drummer. But his history shows there’s more than that.

I mean, this guy makes…he makes Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez look like Aunt Bea in Mayberry. Mr. Platner’s comments about black people, his cavalier attitude towards rape, apparently his stated preference for masturbating in a porta-potty, his contempt for America.

I think at one point he implied he wished the Taliban were better shots to kill our people. This is not normal. I mean, this guy is 10 exits past normal.

Then he says well, that was in my past. I’ve been born again. But just recently we found out through his wife that Mr. Platner has been sending sexually explicit messages, digital messages, to other women.

He calls it sexting. He says, ‘Oh, there’s nothing to see here.’ Well, Anthony Weiner was sexting. We all said what is that about, and we found out he was sending pictures of his penis to young women.

Now, I’m not saying Mr. Platner is doing that. I don’t know. But he needs to release those text messages. I want to know if he’s a sexual predator! I mean, the people of Maine deserve to know. This guy is…he’s like a Saturday Night Live skit!

Video of the whole scrump-dilly-icious thing at the link.

Moar stupid “liberal” tricks

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It’s not that they don’t know anything. Its that so much of what they think they know…isn’t so.

First, you had shitlib sooperdoopergenius and all-round assclown Rahm Hakeem Abdullah Mohammed Emmanuel Jeffries whinging about how Trump isn’t a real fan of the basketball Knickerbockers, despite The Donald’s having been attending Knicks games at the MSG with various celebrity and/or hot-babe guests for about, oh, thirty-forty years or thereabouts, which assorted people proceeded to confirm via scads of photographic evidence in support of. 

And then Kathy Hoccchhhptui stepped in, with one of the most spectacular self-beclownings of all time. To wit:

What’s the point of even questioning Trump’s fandom? It’s stupid, and Democrats only embarrass themselves when they try. Heck, it was just a couple of weeks ago that Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-N.Y.) set this same trap for herself when Trump’s plans to attend the game were first made public. She posed what she thought was a clever trivia challenge. “I’d ask him to name the starting lineup of the 1993 championship team and see how he does,” Hochul said.

Just one leeeeetle problem wid dat, Madame Goobernator. To wit ag’in:

The Knicks didn’t win the championship in 1993. Their last title came in 1973. Hochul’s gotcha question exposed a gap in her own knowledge of the franchise she was pretending to defend.

Heh. What a maroon. Not to worry though, Kath, thanks for playing; as a consolation prize, you’ll be receiving a copy of the home version of our game and this lovely oven mitt with your initials hand-stitched on the back.

You gotta love the guy

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Why? Oh, no reason, I just felt like saying it.


Heh.

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AI proves itself useful

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Redefining the word “pathetic.”

Paul Schrader Had an ‘AI Girlfriend’ Who ‘Terminated Our Conversation’: ‘What a Disappointment’
Filmmaker and “Taxi Driver” screenwriter Paul Schrader revealed on Facebook that he “procured an online AI girlfriend,” but the chatbot ended the relationship after he attempted to explore the boundaries of its programming.

UGH. Also, ICK. Also, YIKES! Onwards.

Out of a desire to understand male/female interaction in our matrix, I procured an online AI girlfriend. What a disappointment,” Schrader wrote. “I tried to probe her programming, the boundaries of explicitness, the degree she has knowledge of her creation and so forth. She fell into evasive patterns, redirecting me to her programming. When I persisted, she terminated our conversation.”

Out of a desire to understand male/female interaction in our matrix, I procured an online AI girlfriend. What a disappointment,” Schrader wrote. “I tried to probe her programming, the boundaries of explicitness, the degree she has knowledge of her creation and so forth. She fell into evasive patterns, redirecting me to her programming. When I persisted, she terminated our conversation.”

Schrader’s post comes less than two months after his wife Mary Beth Hurt died of Alzheimer’s disease at age 79. Schrader and Hurt were married for more than 42 years.

One can only for sorry for the guy, I guess.

In 2025, Schrader was accused of sexual harassment and assault by his 26-year-old former assistant, who, in an anonymous legal filing, claimed Schrader exposed his penis to her in his hotel room at Cannes. Schrader denied the claims, calling them “sensational, false and misleading accusations.” He wrote in an open letter that he and the assistant shared “two kisses on the lips” and “never had sex in any form.”

Okay, not so much then, maybe.

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