Category: BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHA!

GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Butt-ugly Leftybitch can’t stand the heat, needs to get the hell out of the kitchen

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Welcome to the jungle, twatwaffle.

Zohran Mamdani’s woke, privileged tenant advocate Cea Weaver breaks down crying when asked about hypocritical gentrification comments
Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s newly instated radical-left tenant advocate, Cea Weaver, broke down Wednesday as she dodged questions from reporters about her gentrification hypocrisy.

The 37-year-old, who has faced backlash for blasting homeownership as a “weapon of white supremacy” in the past, teared up when she emerged briefly from her apartment building in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, at about 9 a.m.

Weaver, who was tapped by Mamdani to be his new director of the city Office to Protect Tenants, quickly ran back inside after she was asked about the $1.6 million home her mother owns in Nashville, Tennessee.

I read someplace that not only did this big-talking gutless wonder break down crying upon being asked the first pointed question she’d ever faced in her entire life, she also ran screaming down the street before regaining control of herself and sneaking back into her own crib.

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Send in the clowns

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Don’t bother, they’re here.

New York magazine writer stumps Zohran Mamdani, top aides with ‘cost of living’ question
A magazine reporter stumped Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani and his closest advisers with a question about lowering the cost of living in the Big Apple.

Mamdani and his crew didn’t have an answer when a New York Magazine writer asked for a comparable city as the democratic socialist waxed poetic about his lofty “principle” of bringing down the cost of living in the five boroughs.

“I asked him and some of his advisers if there were cities that had pulled this off that New York could emulate, places that had managed to meaningfully lower the cost of living. None sprang to mind,” the article stated.

“Talk to policy experts, and they find the prospect laughable; the only cities where this has happened are ones where the quality of life dropped so dramatically that no one wanted to live there anymore.”

Point being…? What with the recent mass exodus of the last pitiful handful of sensible, intelligent souls from the ruins, NYC is already sprinting just as hard and fast as it can for the very bottom of that particular fly-blown dungheap. And with commie nitwit Zsa Zsa “A job? ME?!?” Mammyjammy at the wheel, you gotta like their chances. Taking the checkered flag in this particular race is nothing to get excited about, certainly. Even so, purblind City dwellers had better make the most of it and enjoy the Booby Prize while they can—this will be the last victory New Yorkers will have for a long, long time. Après MammyJammy, le déluge.

Clearly, the above-mentioned New Yorker hack didn’t get the memo: you never, but NEVER, ask a Socialist a question about economic policy. They know about as much on that subject as famous retard Tampon Timmeh! Walz does about string theory, therefore are sure to make a dog’s breakfast of the whole enterprise.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, gang, but after all the years, all the tears, and all the predictions of imminent doom which turned out to be a trifle premature, New York is truly over and done with. You only get so many spins of the cylinder before a loaded chamber comes up, so many goes at taunting the tiger before the tiger chews you to pieces and spits you out. About three weeks worth of MammyJammy (mis)rule ought to put the final nail in NYC’s coffin. Resilient as the City has proven itself to be time and again, selecting as Mayor a dull-witted, silver-spoonfed Muzzrat Richie Rich who has never worked a day in his useless life is a self-inflicted wound from which Noo Yawk Fuckin’ City will not recover.

Trump must continue to hammer the point home like a broken record: there will be NO bailout, NO federal relief programs, NO FederalGovCo knight in shining armor riding up on his snow-white charger to pull NYC’s chestnuts out of the fire in the very nick of time. New Yorkers, having voted for the assclown MammyJammy overwhelmingly—a landslide romp which, in effect, bestows one of the strongest mandates ever on an egomaniacal muttonhead who is singularly illl-equipped to wield it judiciously—now have no one but themselves to blame for what they’ll soon be getting. Let them get it then, Mencken-style (ie, good and hard), until they’re so completely downcast that the humiliation of this latest and greatest folly in a long and distinguished line of foolish, impenitent acts of municipal auto-annihilation shall be seared into their collective memory forever.

May New Yorkers rue the day they made such an suicidally-unwise choice. May the impending catastrophe scar them so indelibly they will be driven to reconsider…well, damned near everythiing, actually. May the enduring pain of this experience burn away, like a chill morning fog, their abiding arrogance; their deep-seated superiority complex; their ahistorical ignorance; and their counterfactual assumptions. May the sight of their once-majestic City burning all around them—collapsing into violence, lawlessness, and anarchy thanks to their own infantile prejudices and delusions—inspire them at long last to embrace humility, contrition, and thoughtfulness.

And if that doesn’t work out, just build a 40-foot high, razor-wire-topped, concrete wall around Manhattan, post armed guards along the perimeter, shut off the electricity, rename it Manhattan Island Federal Penitentiary. Then, should PoTUS’s chopper go down inside the Wall, send Snake Plissken in to bring the blaggard back out again.

Sarah Hucklebee Sanders to anti-Christian dickweeds: GET BENT

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The TRUE meaning of Christmas is telling officious, whiny shitlibs to crawl up an armadillo’s ass and die.

Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders was feeling the Christmas spirit this week as she gave state employees a generous gift. She announced she would be closing state offices on Friday, December 26th, extending a nice four-day weekend to the state’s employees to spend with their families and celebrate the birth of Jesus.

The birth of Jesus? She can’t say that! She’s a governor.

At least according to the Scrooges at the Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRF), an atheist nonprofit organization that, in their words, works to keep state and church separate.

Sarah’s e-mail really got the agitated atheist’s tinsel in a twist.

The angry elves at FFRF couldn’t let this stand, and they jumped into action, pounced, if you will. They sent a letter to the Governor demanding that she rescind the statement, claiming it violated the First Amendment’s Establishment Clause. Going even further, they demanded that she no longer use her office to promote ‘Christian Mythology’ as truth.

Next, this happened.


Y’know, her dad would’ve benefited tremendously from a lot more of his daughter’s backbone and feistiness back when he was in politics.

“Please know that I will do no such thing.” Epic! Also, LEGEND! I think I maybe came in my pants a little just now.

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Spicier and spicier

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I must say, I find this one VERY encouraging.

Is Ireland About to Erupt Into a Civil War Over ‘Illegal Immigration’?
Official details surrounding the alleged rape of a 10-year-old Irish girl by a 26-year-old “asylum seeker” are murky due to a system that protects not only the victim, but also the alleged predator.

Most of the details in the case that have been officially revealed are procedural ones, like court dates, sanity tests for the accused, and physical and mental health assessments for the victim.

The public reaction to the rape, however, provides a little more context, given that the Irish citizenry is reacting to what they know even if authorities aren’t releasing confirmed details.

Within 48 hours of the crime and for several nights, violent protests flared up around the City West Hotel, which is a large former hotel that has been transformed into a migrant center housing 2,000 illegal migrants.

As well they might have. SHOULD have, actually. The crash deployment of literally hundreds of Garda Síochána to protect the predatory animals is as revolting as always (somewhere, Bunny McGarry can’t stop throwing up), but next we get to the encouraging part of this all-too-familiar story.

Protesters waved green, white, and orange Irish national flags. Some chanted, “Get them out, get them out,” which Fox News reported was centered on the shelter’s residents. The protesters threw empty glass bottles and bricks. They discharged fireworks. They pointed lasers into the cockpit of a police helicopter. And two protesters on horseback tried to breach the police line.

The local police commissioner, Justin Kelly, apparently unaware that the American media redefined what a “peaceful protest” is during the Black Lives Matter unrest in America in 2020, said, “This was obviously not a peaceful protest…The actions this evening can only be described as thuggery. This was a mob intent on violence against Gardaí (Irish police).”

The Irish news media has reported that the suspect in the rape case arrived in Ireland six years ago from Africa. He failed his application to the European Union (EU) for international protection in 2024 and was ordered to be deported in March.

Against this backdrop, a group calling itself the “New Republican Movement” has popped up with a foreboding video it posted online, calling out those in power in Ireland who they accuse of facilitating mass immigration and indoctrination of children in schools.

“Foreboding video,” you say? In a pig’s eye, sez I. Oh, I suppose it might be seen as alarming enough in certain quarters, but said quarters badly NEED some alarming at this point. Myself, I think it’s refreshing.


Good on ye, me brothers. Take it to the sorry sumbitches who have trashed what used to be a beautiful, decent country; make ’em pay for their multitudinous crimes.

Trump nails it…AGAIN

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The Truth-Teller-In-Chief.

President Trump on Sunday said he meant every word of his Thanksgiving attack on Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, telling reporters aboard Air Force One that he stands by calling the Democrat “retarded” and adding, “Yeah, I think there’s something wrong with him,” when asked whether he wanted to revise the remark. Trump pointed directly to Walz’s record as the reason for his choice of words, arguing that no responsible governor would preside over the kind of refugee policies that have transformed Minnesota in the way he described. “Anybody that would allow those people into a state and pay billions of dollars out to Somalia,” Trump said, before launching into a broader criticism of Somalia itself. He told reporters the country “has a name, but it doesn’t function like a country,” and said Walz’s approach to migration shows “there’s something wrong” with his leadership, not Trump’s assessment of it.

The controversy stemmed from Trump’s Thanksgiving post on Truth Social, where he warned that America’s “refugee burden” has become a driving force behind what he called growing dysfunction in communities across the country. Minnesota, he argued, is the clearest example. In that message, Trump accused Walz of letting “hundreds of thousands of refugees from Somalia” take hold of the state, writing that organized gangs are “roving the streets looking for ‘prey’ as our wonderful people stay locked in their apartments and houses hoping against hope that they will be left alone.” He then blasted both Walz and Rep. Ilhan Omar, calling Walz “seriously retarded” for doing “nothing, either through fear, incompetence, or both,” and accusing Omar of entering the country under a fraudulent family arrangement — a long-running allegation she insists is false but has never fully put to rest. Trump described her as someone who “complains about our country” while coming from what he called a “decadent, backward, and crime-ridden” place that “is essentially not even a country.”

Yeeee-OWTCH! Poor Tampon Timmeh, the Minnesota Doughboy™, had to have felt that stinging bitch-slap from halfway across the damn country.

How it is fucking DONE

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Looks as if there might possibly be a little life left in the old town yet.

NYC serial spitter bloodied in street-style justice during epic beatdown: ‘Worse than jail’
Anthony Caines — the sicko busted by the NYPD for allegedly spitting in the faces of white women who passed him in Williamsburg — has apparently been on the receiving end of some street-style justice.

Video footage shared on social media showed two men beating and kicking a man who appeared to be accused spitter Caines, 45, outside of a hair salon on Sixth Street.

It was unclear when the footage was shot.

Caines, curled up on the sidewalk in a defensive fetal position, is dealt multiple blows by the two attackers, whose faces are never shown.

The two men laugh to themselves as they kick Caines and stomp on his legs.

Caines is heard wailing in pain during the beatdown.

The clip quickly cuts to an image of Caines with a large gash on his forehead, above his left eye. Blood streams down his face as the men issue a final warning.

Yes, the Post report includes a capture from that part of the clip, and it is GLORIOUS.

“Stop violating these females out here, you heard?” the man filming the footage tells him.

“We’re tired of that s–t,” the man explains. “You’re making us look bad.”

Caines appeared to confirm he understood, before saying, “I went to jail, didn’t I?”

“F–k jail — we’re worse than jail,” the man yells before delivering one last punch to his head.

You tell ‘im, boys. Yawp all you like about “vigilante justice,” but it’s a dead cert that Hell will freeze over before Mr Psycho-Spook hocks another loogie in that locality again. In fact, uness he lives there himself, I very much doubt he’ll ever so much as show his face in Williamsburgh again.

WRECKED ’em

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What Coleman said.


PREACH it, bruh.

Off with their masks!

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Forcibly, violently, and painfully, thanks to the great and powerful Wizard of Oz Musk.

Elon Musk’s zeal for truth reveals the online frauds aiming to divide us
On Friday Elon Musk, having figured out that a lot of influential X accounts weren’t what they claimed to be, activated an X feature showing where users were actually posting from — and uncovered (at least) a million lies.

Turns out a lot of users claiming to be disillusioned Trump voters, or anti-Israel Americans, are actually foreign frauds.

Like the one that posted: “Trump is Israel First. I’m done with MAGA. I hope Republicans lose.”

Americans turning on Trump over Israel?

Nope. The account was based in Turkey.

Likewise the woke-right “groyper” movement supposedly elevating white supremacist Nick Fuentes seems to be largely a foreign sham, and “Ron Smith, MAGA Hunter,” a prolific anti-Trump poster with a substantial following, turns out to be from Kenya.

Many users billing themselves as “Native American” with accounts specializing in divisive racial attacks on white people are actually foreign, and mostly from Bangladesh.

And so on, and so on.

Awful lot of jihadi weird-beards skulking behind those online guises, same-same with the ostensible Paleosimians whining about being the victims of “genocide” in Gaza from their homes in Turkey, Kenya, or Poland. Crack on Netanyahu, Israel, and (((***Dem JooJooJooJOOOOOOZ!!!***))) all you like, but don’t go acting all shocked and butthurt to learn that the people you’re associating yourself with online ain’t necessarily the people you think they are.

Kudos to Elon for yanking the rug right out from under certain unworthy, deceitful frauds, thereby prompting plenty of long-overdue attitude adjustment into the bargain. Kinda pathetic that so many of us so badly needed reminding of the most basic rule of online existence: Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is as it seems here. On the Innarnuts you either take absolutely everything with a YUUUGE grain of salt, or you just aint tall enough for this ride yet, kid.

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind

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“Scholarly rigour.” I love it.

Obviously, activities that are chiefly indulged in by white people – in this case, folk singing– must be deemed suspect and found problematic with great urgency, and then probed for hidden wrongness. At taxpayer expense. And all this scholarly rigour ain’t cheap, you know…

Behind this mannered waffle is the weird implication that devotees of folk music are somehow, simply by existing, excluding racial minorities. Shooing them away. Though, as so often, details on this point are neither obvious nor forthcoming.

Still, perhaps we can look forward to an academic interrogation of classic car shows in Nottinghamshire as some heinous bastion of “white-centricity.” Another item on the list of Things That Must Be Decolonised And Morally Corrected.

“Our aim,” say our tearful academics, “is to break down the barriers for people to get involved in folk music. Opening up the genre to different audiences.”

Different audiences. Not the audience that folk music actually has, mind, the one it attracts and which is arrived at via choice and musical inclination. And again, no actual barriers to participation are specified. But the audience is nonetheless all wrong, apparently.

Well, of course it is. Isn’t everything, really? Call it built-in job security for shitlibs: until their Collectivist Utopia has been realized in full, poor unenlightend Humanity will always need their Leftard betters to swoop in and save them from their own folly.

You don’t mess with JD, nor his ol’ lady neither

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Not if you know what’s good for you, you don’t.

In case you missed it, Joe Biden’s former White House press secretary, Jen Psaki, made some vile comments about Vance’s marriage earlier this week, implying that JD is “scary” and Usha is being held hostage somehow.

I think the little Manchurian candidate, JD Vance, wants to be president more than anything else. I always wonder what’s going on in the mind of his wife. Like, are you okay? Blink four times. Come over here. We’ll save you. He’s willing to do anything to get there… he’s scarier in certain ways.

I’ve debated writing about this since it happened, but it’s so irritating that I couldn’t bring myself to give it the time of day. First of all, Psaki spent 16 months telling us that Biden was a good president, so why would anyone take anything she says seriously? Second, I’ve learned a lot about the second lady since her husband took office, and she is an incredible woman — a wonderful role model for young women and girls. By all accounts, she adores her husband, and it’s evident in every appearance they make or interview she gives. But even so, she’s an independent woman who has her own interests, thoughts, goals, and affairs. And to hear him tell it, she’s called a lot of the shots in JD’s career.

Anyway, a reporter asked the vice president, who is in Israel today, about Psaki’s statement. Vance couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, but he also reiterated how lucky he is to have her by his side and let the world know that she can speak for herself on the matter if she wants.

I think it’s disgraceful, but, of course, the second lady can speak for herself. I’m very luck to have a wonderful wife. I know, at least I hope, that my wife feels the same about me, but we’re very lucky to have this journey. Or I should say, I’m very lucky to go on this journey with a very loving wife. We’re going to keep on serving the country together, and I’m honored to have Usha by my side…

I have little else to say about this. Vance’s laugh says it all. It’s ridiculous, and I suspect these attacks will ramp up as Democrats realize they don’t have an obvious 2028 candidate, while we have at least two, with Vance as the obvious frontrunner. Expect this kind of talk to ramp up: Vance is weird, he’s mean, he’s whatever… the reality is he’s a patriotic American, a man who’s serviced his country in the military and in public office, a husband, a father, a Godly man, a masculine man who protects his family but doesn’t overstep his role, and someone with one heck of a sense of humor. He’s overcome so many odds to get here, too. Liberal harpies are no match for the VP.

Of COURSE they’ll “ramp up” the noxious, repulsive bullshit. What else CAN they do? D卐M☭CRAT scumbuckets realize they simply can’t lay a glove on Vance no matter what or how hard they try; the guy just doesn’t rattle, he doesn’t scare, and he never, ever runs away from a fight.

One other thing The Best Darn Veep America Ever Had has got going for him: it’s entertaining as all git-out to watch him work. He floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee in dealing with the Leftard baglappers, and no mistake. JD doesn’t care what they think any more than the rest of us do, and it couldn’t be more obvious…or more terrific, if you ask me.

Whuuuu….???

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Okay, this one’s just too dang weird.

After Days of Claiming Trump was Dead, Leftists Get a Nasty Shock
President Donald Trump walked out of the White House on Saturday morning along with his granddaughter Kai and got into a vehicle to head for Sterling, Virginia, for a few rounds of golf. This would have been an utterly insignificant bit of information were it not for the fact that Trump hadn’t been seen in public since his cabinet meeting on Tuesday. While he was out of sight, an increasing number of leftists began crowing gleefully that the president must be dead. Their disappointment on Saturday morning must have been overpowering, as the hatred they showed for the president and his supporters was truly shocking in its intensity. The party of compassion? Hardly. There are no more hateful people than leftists.

Overexcited leftists began claiming that Trump was mortally ill several days ago, when a photo emerged of Trump with a large bruise on his right hand, similar to one that was spotted on Queen Elizabeth’s hand just days before she died. White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt explained Monday that the bruise was the result of Trump shaking hands with multiple people every day, combined with the effects of the aspirin he regularly takes.  

This wasn’t enough, however, for the far, far-left Huffington Post, which dismissed what Leavitt said as a “grandiose explanation” and opined, without evidence, that “the discoloration on the back of his left hand would seemingly be more difficult to explain away by handshake.” The hand-bruise controversy, however, was nothing compared to the left’s hysterical joy at not seeing Trump around for a few days. 

The New York Post reported Saturday that “online rumors of President Trump’s demise were greatly exaggerated — much to the dismay of creepy leftist critics.” The rumors started swirling “on Friday, when the White House released a blank schedule with no public events for the president during Labor Day weekend.” Old Joe Biden took almost four years off while he was pretending to be president and the media kept insisting that he was sharp as a tack as long as there weren’t any cameras around to capture the moment, but Trump takes a few days off, or at least out of sight, and the left goes nuts. (Yes, indeed, they were already nuts.)

I’m going to have to amend my earlier assessment—this ain’t just weird, it’s downright bizarre.

Correct, on all counts

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Kevin Kinkead positively unloads on Springsteen and Born To Run. Not being a fan of either of those, I just about killed myself laughing at this masterpiece.

Happy 50th Anniversary to Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run,” One of the Worst Albums Ever Recorded
There is so much to hate about this album, it’s hard to know where to start. Thunder Road is the opener, and it begins with Bruce mumbling over over piano and harmonica for 90 seconds before someone mercifully hits a drum. Then there’s Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out, which shows some promise at times, but is really more of a soul song than a rock song. The album finally starts to display some balls with the underrated third track, Night, which at least has some tempo to it. It only lasts about three minutes though, then we’re slowing it down with Backstreets, featuring more piano wankery, but at least there’s a guitar solo at the 3:33 mark. Unfortunately it’s only 19 seconds long, but better than nothing. Then you’ve got the overrated title track, which builds but never really goes anywhere, bookending two side B filler tracks with Jungleland salvaging a D+ album grade.

The other thing is that Bruce can’t sing, which makes it tough to get into the music itself, which isn’t very good to begin with.

I think the thing that offends me in particular about Springsteen is that those of you who are 50+ got to experience the height of the 1970s music scene, when so many great bands were making so much great music. Even in 1975 alone, when Born to Run came out, Zeppelin released Physical Graffiti, Queen released A Night at the Opera, and Pink Floyd released Wish You Were Here. Aerosmith dropped Toys in the Attic and Black Sabbath was on to Sabotage. You had prime ZZ Top and Deep Purple and David Bowie and Fleetwood Mac and all of that, and your favorite artist was BRUCE? For who? For what! We millennials would have killed to be alive during that era. Imagine wasting it listening to The Boss mumble on about his friend being a good baseball player in high school. Listening to Bruce in the 1970s would have been like wasting the 90s listening to Dave Matthews Band (shout out to that one reader who has seen Dave 47 times in Camden).

If you’d like to hear more Bruce slander, I recommended our Pulitzer-winning column from a few years back, titled Someone has to Say it: Bruce Springsteen Totally Stinks.

Oh, you’d just better believe I’m a-gonna be checking that one out right away.

Humor Is Where You Find It

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     Happy Feast of the Assumption, Gentle Readers. It looks to be a beautiful day here on the fabled Isle of Long. I hope for the same for you, wherever you are.

     As the years have passed, I’ve become ever more convinced that the most salient truth of political interplay was spoken offhandedly by a great man who died far too young:

     “Politics is downstream from culture.” – Andrew Breitbart

     It’s part of why I decided to try my hand at fiction. Now, people today have shorter attention spans than our predecessor generations, a topic whose exploration I’ll reserve for another time, so encapsulating important messages in novel-length fiction is less likely to lodge them in a lot of minds than cracking a good joke. The entertainer-pundit who’s proved best at this is Fox News’s own Greg Gutfeld.

     Gutfeld seldom goes on at length. When he speaks for more than a minute or so at a time, it’s usually as a succession of “one-liners.” Consider the following:

     “There’s not a single issue Democrats champion that resonates with the blue-collar American. The only contact they would have with one is hiring a guy to install in the women’s bathroom. And because of DEI the person they hire would be a dwarf amputee who identifies as a carrot. The whole party is a swill of identity extremism, luxury belief, and victimhood. They love open borders because migrants aren’t taking jobs reserved for art history majors. They hate cops because they want to be the ones telling everybody what to do and they still resent the fact that Cagney & Lacey weren’t lesbians. Aren’t we all?
     They also think gender is just an opinion until a man says something they don’t like. Their party leaders are career politicians who’ve never had a real job. Chuck Schumer couldn’t change a tire if you gave him AAA’s phone number and he would only change a light bulb if you held his hairpiece for ransom.

     Cutting, brutal… and undeniably both true and funny.

     Reality is often funny, especially when it’s being denied. It throws up clashes and contradictions that make us double-clutch. We look, shake our heads, look again, and spend a moment disentangling our preconceptions from our perceptions. Often we must struggle a bit to distinguish what we’ve been told to think from what we can see, hear, and smell. If we’re fortunate… and at a reasonably safe distance from “the action”… we can laugh. Laughter, as Reader’s Digest has often told us, is the best medicine.

     That medicine is especially valuable in a nation where twenty percent of the residents appear to be clinically insane and another twenty percent make their livings by pandering to them.

     I could go on about this, but I try to be a good sort, at least on Fridays in the summer. So to close, have a video of Shakespeare’s immortal tragedy Romeo and Juliet being performed entirely by Estonian heavy-construction machines:

     And do have a nice day.

Best. Spam. EVAR!

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Of the thousands, perhaps even millions, of CF-related spam emails I’ve received, snarled at, and summarily deleted over lo, these many years, this one has to be my personal favorite. C&P’d in its entirety:

FROM: HR & Admin – Coldfury <james@prestouniversal.com>
TO: E-mail (CF)
SUBJECT: Coldfury Employees Performance Appraisals – June’25

Dear Gentlemen,

Please find below the link to the current month’s employee performance appraisals for June 2025.

https://staff.coldfury.com/inter-records/report-2025/

Note: All names highlighted in red indicate employees who are due for termination.

Your prompt attention to this matter is highly appreciated.

Best regards,

HR Manager
Human Resource Department
hr.director@coldfury.com | Headquarter

Wow, turns out I have not only an HR department but also an HQ, even an unspecified number of “employees” who can actually be “terminated” at the discretion of my (nonexistent) HR Manager, whose actual name I can’t seem to recall right now for some reason. Better still, my phantasmagorical “HR Manager” refers to me as a “Gentlemen” in interoffice correspondence. Who knew?

No, of course I didn’t click on the link to view the “employee performance appraisals” report, but I confess I’m mighty tempted to, if only to giggle like a delighted little girl at the no doubt voluminous “names highlighted in red.” That’s bound to be as epic a tale as has ever been told throughout the annals of creative writing. Lord knows I’ve taken a few stabs at composing fiction, only to find that, although I know I’m not completely bereft of writing talent, I don’t have it in me to create good fiction; somehow, I just can’t make it work.

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Asses in seats, gals

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The worst thing that could possibly happen to these WNBA broads would be to pay them what they’re actually worth.

Minnesota Lynx All-Stars reflect on wearing ‘Pay us what you owe us’ shirts
MINNEAPOLIS (FOX 9) – The WNBA had its All-Star Game over the weekend in Indianapolis, and players sent a message to the league before a basket was ever scored.

During pregame warm-ups, players, including Minnesota Lynx star Napheesa Collier, wore “Pay us what you owe us” shirts. Last week, more than 40 players met with league officials as the WNBA negotiates a new collective bargaining agreement. Talks have not gone well as an October deadline looms.

Collier accepted the MVP award for the game, with “Pay them!” chants coming from the crowd as WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert handed her the trophy. Collier talked about it after the game. Collier signed a three-year contract with the Lynx back in 2022. She’s making about $214,000 this season, the final year of her current deal.

Not too shabby a salary just to run like a gimp, jump like an overweight elephant seal, dribble like a retard, and shoot like a grrrrl, before an audience so scant any normal schmendrick could tally up the house using their fingers and toes. And that’s on a GOOD night, mind. My personal favorite bit from the article is this sub-hed:

Why you should care

“Why. I. Should…” Say WHAT again, now? See, that is really just…uhhh, errr, mmph. Mmmmph. *snort, snorfle, gack, giggle* BWAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I’d like to interject a Zen kind of question at this point, if I may:

If there’s nobody watching ‘em play, either in the stands or on the TeeWee, do they keep score? SHOULD they be? If you answered yes to the last question, please give at least three (3) good reasons why you think so.

The gals of the WNBA seem totally unaware of a simple, basic rule governing pro sports, entertainment media, and the arts in toto, namely: If you aren’t putting asses in the seats, it’s not only you as an individual athlete that is doomed to fail; it’s also your team, and eventually, the entire league itself. Doesn’t matter one whit how talented, how charming, how good-looking, how smart, how financially responsible you might (or might NOT) be your own self—try as they might to ignore this fundamental truth, nobody but nobody gets to do so for very long.

Serendipitous spinoff update! Late last night, I ginned up a barely-related addendum to the above post, positing a tenuous connection betwixt suicide and Phillip Sudo’s incredibly awesome Zen Guitar. Really, it amounted to yet another of those annoying, interminable 50-kajillion-word digressions I’ve become so renowned for (rightly so, I must admit). As such, I snipped the OT jabberwock from the above post, plopped it whole, raw, and unexpurgated into a brand new ME draft, and saved the resultant pile to MarsEdit’s handy-dandy “Local drafts” folder, after which I happily yielded the CF podium and went to bed in hopes of getting perhaps an hour or two’s uninterrupted slumber.

I just now remembered the aforementioned digression (mostly over-garrulous logorrhea; entirely too personal to be of much interest to anyone who ain’t me; just meandering with no particular plan or destination in mind, a regrettable tendency I’m increasingly subject to in my dotage) and felt it was really just too damned bad the directionless mess would be an in no wise perfect fit as a CF index-page item.

BUT….

What I can do, probably should do—rather than just wastefully toss some perfectly valid albeit stupefyingly dull ruminations on both these subjects altogether—is dump the whole steaming pile into a fresh new WP Page of its very own, maybe under the “Greatest Hits” header purely as a Navbar space-saving measure.

Yep, I believe I’m gonna get cracking on this minor project straightaway. Notification, as ever, to appear in a later update here once I’ve gotten this rhetorical jalopy cranked up and running smooth as the proverbial baby’s butt—keep watching this space so’s you won’t miss nuttin’. Who knows, it’s barely possible that, contra my earlier discouraging words, you might even find you enjoy reading the dadblame thing.

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

Fake Phony Fraud(s), S'faccim: two excellent descriptors coined by the late great WABC host Bob Grant which are interchangeable, both meaning as they do pretty much the same thing

Mordor On The Potomac: Washington, DC

The Enemy: shitlibs, Progtards, Leftards, Swamp critters, et al ad nauseum

Burn, Loot, Murder: what the misleading acronym BLM really stands for

pAntiFa: an alternative spelling of "fascist scum"

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