Was it Kenyacide?
Only Bathhouse Barry really knows for sure.
Last week, Barack Obama’s private chef, Tafari Campbell, fell off his paddle board and sank below the surface of Edgartown Great Pond. His drowned body was recovered on Monday morning in the water off the former president’s Martha’s Vineyard estate. Currently, there’s no foul play suspected, and it’s worth noting that Campbell was not wearing a lifejacket.
However, certain peculiarities have presented themselves, causing some people to raise questions. For example, the reason for the 911 call that prompted the search was left blank in official logs. The person Campbell was with at the time of the accident remains unidentified, and the police have refused to disclose the person’s name.
Adding to the intrigue is that Barack Obama appeared with what looks like a black eye and a bandaged hand, playing golf at the exclusive Vineyards Club on Friday while Michelle Obama played tennis elsewhere on the grounds. Photos of Obama reveal a bruise or ‘black eye’ beneath his left eye, along with bandages wrapping fingers on his left hand.
Some dispute the significance of the bandages, insisting that they are sports bandages meant to prevent blisters from playing golf. Perhaps that explains it. But other details are being noticed as well. For example, some have called out the media for reporting that Campbell could not swim as an explanation for the drowning — when his own social media posts prove he most certainly could.
Initial reports claimed that the Obamas were not at their estate at the time of the incident, though later reports indicated that Barack and Michelle Obama “were out of the house” but on Martha’s Vineyard when it happened. It is unclear if their daughters, Sasha and Malia, were at home at the time, though they were seen leaving Martha’s Vineyard the following day.
The individual who was with Campbell at the time of the accident and the woman who reportedly called 9-11 both remain unidentified.
Oh, I just bet they do at that. You can be certain they will remain “unidentified,” as the sordid, rank-smelling mess gets hurriedly tossed down the deepest, darkest memory hole Praetorian Media can possibly contrive, beginning in 5…4…3…2…
Actually, the thing that leaves me most skeptical about the whole deal is the idea that Barry might have offed the chef, rather than Mighty Moochelle—after all, she’s always been the REAL muscle in the (notional) family. Moreover, they could quite easily have spoken to HILLARY!™ about having “her people” take care of business for them, without all the fuss, muss, and anxiety of getting their own hands dirty. As it happens, Aesop was way out in front of everybody on this one:
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