Be nice – Page 22

Thanks for all the fish

Posted on December 14, 2020 by Mike

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya, sez I.

President Trump announced via Twitter that following a meeting to discuss the current state of 2020 election fraud with Attorney General Bill Barr, the U.S. AG will be departing his position before Christmas.

Barr’s resignation letter is…well, see for yourself.

Dear Mr President,
I appreciate the opportunity to update you this afternoon on the Department’s review of voter fraud allegations in the 2020 election and how these allegations will continue to be pursued. At a time when the country is so deeply divided, it is incumbent on all levels of government, and all agencies acting within their purview, to do all we can to assure the integrity of elections and promote public confidence in their outcome.

I am greatly honoured that you called on me to serve your administration and the American people once again as Attorney General. I am proud to have played a role in the many successes and unprecedented achievements you have delivered for the American people. Your 2016 victory speech in which you reached out to your opponents and called for working together for the benefit of the American people was immediately met by a partisan onslaught against you in which no tactic, no matter how abusive and deceitful, was out of bounds. The nadir of this campaign was the effort to cripple, if not oust, your administration with frenzied and baseless accusations of collusion with Russia.

Few could have weathered these attacks, much less forge ahead with a positive program for the country. You built the strongest and most resilient economy in American history – one that has brought unprecedented progress to those previously left out. You have restored American military strength. By brokering historic peace deals in the Mideast you have achieved what most thought impossible. You have curbed illegal immigration and enhanced the security of our nation’s borders. You have advanced the rule of law by appointing a record number of judges committed to constitutional principles. With Operation Warp Speed, you delivered a vaccine for coronavirus on a schedule no one thought conceivable – a feat that will undoubtedly save millions of lives.

Downright effusive in his praise for Trump. Unexpected? Or perfectly in character? Barr has a knack for saying all the right things, and being quite eloquent in doing so, too. Whatever he may actually be—dithering, ineffectual-but-honest-in-the-main pedant or conniving Deep State malefactor—after years of tail-chasing “investigation” with no significant results in sight, it’s time for him to go.

Chip off the old block

Posted on December 10, 2020December 10, 2020 by Mike

Via our old friend Stephen.

Ya know, there’s actually a tiny part of me that wants to congratulate @RepSwalwell for getting a real, live woman to be intimate with him, even if she was a Chinese Communist spy. It’s gotta be so much harder for him now after he shat himself on live TV.

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) December 9, 2020

In case anyone is in the dark regarding the backstory to that sidesplitting rip, I’m most happy to hip ya—not least because re-rubbing Shartwell’s smarmy face in his own public humiliation is always the right thing to do.

There won’t be another non-Democrat-Socialist “president” until well after the Coming Unpleasantness concludes, if then. But if such a thing were possible, I’d hope and pray it would be Trump Jr. The guy’s like his old man, only cranked up way past 11.

I did NOT see this coming

Posted on November 23, 2020November 23, 2020 by Mike

Better sit down for this one, people. I won’t say anything more to give it away or anything, but trust me, just…well, better sit down before you click this.

I do so love a woman with spunk

Posted on November 10, 2020November 10, 2020 by Mike

Looks like the theme for tonight’s posting is gonna be “unity.”

Independent journalist Megyn Kelly knocked Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden and other left-wingers over Biden’s calls for “unity” after “viciously” attacking President Donald Trump and his supporters for four years.

Kelly first mocked a tweet from Biden’s account calling for a nation “united,” “strengthened,” and “healed.”

“Written like a man who’s been in his basement for a year,” Kelly said.

Her quip brought numerous Biden defenders into her replies, criticizing her for mocking Biden’s call to unity. Kelly refused to back down, however, and pointed out that Biden’s message is disingenuous considering the vitriol and hate that has been directed toward Trump every year of his presidency as well as the tens of millions of Americans that voted for him.

“Half of the country has been demonized as awful for four years just for supporting their president who was falsely accused of Russian collaboration, wrongly impeached & attacked relentlessly by the [left] & a dishonest media. And now it’s ‘let’s heal!’ ‘Unity!’ Good luck,” Kelly responded to University of Chicago economist Austan Goolsbee.

Biting as those ripostes were, they’re mild stuff indeed compared to what Megyn had waiting in her bandoleer for them. Don’t know quite what’s going on with that girl of late. But after her early tussle with Trump, bringing on the disastrous personal consequences that typically befall those who have committed a similar miscalculation, she’s surely been in fine form since. She’s demonstrated some serious mettle, skillfully wielded, and I have to say I’m digging the show. So I’ll just offer Ms Kelly a hearty “You GO, girl!” while I sit back in eager anticipation of more.

Publick Notice

Posted on November 9, 2020November 9, 2020 by Mike

So as I was mulling our current sorry pass over earlier today, out of the blue I was struck by visions of a cpl-three new T-shirt design ideas for Ye Olde CF Emporium, one of which I’ve already put together a first draft of:

No situation so grave that some asshole won’t try to turn a buck off of it, eh? More to come as and when, folks. If the mood prompts ya, feel free to sing this one’s praises or condemn it as an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle in the comments, whichever suits.

Clown show

Posted on October 31, 2020October 31, 2020 by Mike

Treating THEVIRUSTHEVIRUSTHEVIRUS!!!™ with precisely the gravity it merits.

The Oregon Health Authority, offering a public service announcement for Halloween, featured two doctors dressed in costumes, with one dressed as a clown while she announced the daily death statistics and new cases of COVID-19 in the state.

Wearing a red tie, polka dot shirt, bright yellow pants, and a clown face made from makeup, senior health advisor and pediatrician Dr. Claire Poche stated:

Hello. I’m Dr. Claire Poche. I’m a general pediatrician and also a senior health advisor here at the Oregon Health Authority. I’m here with Shimi Sharief, my colleague, who’s also a senior health advisor, and we thought we’d start by giving you a quick update on where we are as a state with COVID-19. As of today, there have been 38,160 cases of COVID-19 in Oregon, with 390 new cases being reported today. Sadly, we are also reporting three deaths today, bringing the statewide total for COVID-19 related deaths to 608.

I know I said I was going to resist embedding any more Tweets from now on unless it was absolutely necessary, but I think we can all agree that in this instance, it most certainly is.

I'm sorry but who at the Oregon Health Authority thought this was a good idea? pic.twitter.com/xXHia14KSg

— Samantha Swindler (@editorswindler) October 27, 2020

It’s not a good idea; it’s a fucking great idea. I mean, come on: even confirmed clown Lori Lightfoot will never top this.

What he said

Posted on October 31, 2020October 31, 2020 by Mike

Can’t argue with this. I mean it literally can’t be done.

The way Trump—the way China will respond is when we gather the rest of the world that in fact [unintelligible] in… in… fr- in in in in open trade and making sure that we’re in a position that the world uh that, that we deal with WHO the right way that, in fact, that’s when things begin to change, that when China’s behavior is going to change.

Absolutely! Thanks for “clearing that up” for us there, Gropey.

FLASH!!! BREAKING NEWS!!! MAN BITES DOG!!! PIGS TAKE FLIGHT!!! STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

Posted on October 24, 2020October 24, 2020 by Mike

Hold onto your hats, people. Sit down, swallow whatever you might be drinking, and brace yourself for the most unexpected, unprecedented, and incredible event since the Great Flood.

Ready for it?

Here we go: Today, on some rando’s podcast blatherfest, JOE BIDEN ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING THAT’S TRUE!!! Probably for the very first time in his entire worthless life!

Inadvertently, natch.

Was he misspeaking or just opening his mouth and removing the filter between his brain and mouth? Was it a Joe Bidenesque Freudian ~~slip~~ sniff?

Biden was holding a rare campaign event – via video – when he boastfully proclaimed that his campaign operates “the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics.”

Worse? He was cribbing from notes.

CF FACT CHECK: The claim that Joe Biden said something that was not a bald-faced lie, whether on purpose or not, has been rated by our investigative staff as 100% percent ACCURATE.

Verily, the End Times are nigh.

Having a stroke

Posted on October 23, 2020October 23, 2020 by Mike

Defending the indefensible.

Penn prof defends Jeffrey Toobin’s Zoom mishap

“Mishap”? More like a “misfap,” I’d say.

University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education professor Jonathan Zimmerman argued that New Yorker columnist and CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin’s accidental self-exposure during a work video conference call was a “pseudo-scandal” rooted in Americans’ “collective unease with masturbation.”

Toobin was suspended from the New Yorker after he left his camera on while engaging in an act of self-pleasure during a Zoom meeting with colleagues. He said he believed that he had turned off his camera.

“We Americans love to talk — and talk, and talk — about sex,” noted Zimmerman while discussing the incident in the New York Daily News. “But there’s one topic that remains taboo, and Toobin is paying the price for it.”

“You might say that he shouldn’t have been pleasuring himself during a work call, but that’s his business rather than yours,” said Zimmerman, noting that Toobin’s exposure was not intentional.

Au contraire, bub. The chicken-choker made it everybody’s business when he failed to make the critical but very easy distinction between what “Mute” means, and what “Video ON” means.

But should we just accept on faith that the Rub A Dub Schlub really IS that stupid in the first place? This is a Mark-1, Mod-0 Enemedia propagandist we’re talking about here, after all. Going strictly by the available evidence, every one of those people—from Charlie Rose to Matt Lauer, Male, Female, or one of the 73-and-counting flavors of Other—is a perverted, bizarre sexual sicko. Hell, even the Demonrat candidate for POTUS is a confirmed creepazoid who gets his jollies sniffing and snoodling little girls, ferchrissake. So, bearing the core truth of twisted shitlib sexual obssession in mind, just how sure can any of us really be that Toobin’s live-streamed weenie-wrangling was all that “accidental,” anyway?

DID he hit the wrong button out of nothing more than profound ignorance? If so, maybe someone should pull (ahem) Toobin aside and explain to him the modern miracle of a small piece of black electrical tape; placed carefully over the computer’s camera lens before going trouser-spelunking in front of a live monitor, it makes for an inexpensive and wonderfully effective prophylactic measure.

Or is it far more likely—well into the computer/internet/tech era, when even a relatively slow pre-pubescent comprehends that “Mute” has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with video—that Loobin’ Toobin was trying to get his rocks off via exposure of an act of solo self-indulgence,in flagrante dick-yecchto, to all and sundry? That forcing unwilling others to become active participants in his own personal kink, and the concomitant humiliation, is part of the thrill for him?

Either way, let the horselaughs and making of sport continue, sez I. The rest of us have every bit as much right to our own preferred brand of fun as pud-pounder Toobin does.

Would that it were so

Posted on October 22, 2020 by Mike

Okay, I gotta admit, this one tickled the heck outta me.

Just before I went on air with Tucker last night, word came that the directors of the FBI and National Intelligence needed to rush onto our screens right now with an emergency news conference on “election security”. In a country where judges extend mail-in deadlines at random and postal workers dump completed ballots in the trash and multiple vote forms are sent unsolicited to addresses of foreign nationals, “election security” is a joke of which all US citizens should be ashamed. As I’ve said on Rush and elsewhere, the looming chaos of November 3rd is a conscious choice.

Nevertheless, this brace of national-security hotshots, John Ratcliffe and Christopher Wray, somehow felt obliged to seize the nation’s telly screens and inform Americans that Iran and Russia were spreading “disinformation”, a hitherto foreign-intelligence concept now domesticated, mainstreamed, and turned on the American people every two years:

The U.S. government has concluded that Iran is behind a series of threatening emails arriving this week in the inboxes of Democratic voters, according to two U.S. officials…

The messages appeared to target Democrats using data from digital databases known as “voter files,” some of which are commercially available. They told recipients the Proud Boys were “in possession of all your information” and instructed voters to change their party registration and cast their ballots for Trump.

After the last half-decade, my instinct is not to believe a single word the FBI says about anything, and to support any candidate who vows to dissolve the bureau and start from scratch. Setting aside the Strzok-Page-Comey-McCabe stuff, this is a national police agency that devotes more resources to investigating a Nascar garage-door pull-rope than to a Hunter Biden laptop bursting with oligarch money-laundering and alleged kiddie porn: I would be surprised if such bizarre priorities could get them elected as village constable in the average New Hampshire township. Yet we are now assured, at a time when Big Social are more powerful than any government on the planet and are openly suppressing one of the two presidential campaigns, that the big problem is mullahs posing as “Proud Boys”.

Heh. The Proud Boys: is there ANYTHING they can’t do? One does have to just love the thought of dweebish Democrats all across the land soiling their Underoos in fright at the scarifying prospect of having a group of pissed-off Proud Boys invade their quiet neighborhood to come a-knocking at the door, seeking to wreak retribution on them in the dark of night.

Y’know, exactly like their PantiFa/BLM goon squads have been doing to us all summer.

Busted!

Posted on October 19, 2020October 19, 2020 by Mike

As I just cross-posted on MeWe: I love this story SO DAMNED MUCH.

The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin for masturbating on a Zoom video chat between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio last week. Toobin says he did not realize his video was on.

Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker’s biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC.

Both people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely, noted that it was unclear how much each individual person on the call saw, but both of the people we spoke to said that they saw Toobin jerking off. The two sources described a juncture in the election simulation when there was a strategy session, and the Democrats and Republicans went into their respective break out rooms for about 10 minutes. At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call. The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued.

And we’re all supposed to believe that it’s Trump who’s the degenerate.

Update! Didn’t think of it until just now, but I believe I’m gonna put up permanent links to MeWe, Gab, and Duck Duck Go over in the right sidebar. Just as a public service, y’unnerstand.

Simple human decency

Posted on October 2, 2020October 2, 2020 by Mike

While the vile, soulless Left in its entirety celebrates today’s horrible news in the usual fashion—ghoulish gloating over the suffering of their political opponents, fervent wishes for a long, painful death, etc—the Last Sane Democrat demonstrates yet again why I’ve always referred to her that way.

My husband Abraham and I offer our best wishes and aloha to President @realDonaldTrump and the First Lady @FLOTUS and praying for their speedy recovery. We also send our best wishes to Ivanka, Tiffany, Donald Trump Jr., Eric, and Barron during this difficult time. #TrumpHasCovid

— Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 (@TulsiGabbard) October 2, 2020

Bless you, Ms Gabbard; would that we had many more like you. Alas, it’s our poor, bleeding nation’s tragedy that we don’t—emblematic of why we are where we are, and are headed where we’re headed.

Update! Heh.

Trump Preemptively Pens Dying Wish Canceling Out RBG’s Dying Wish
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Lying ill in the White House, Trump weakly asked for a pen and paper. Once these had been retrieved for him, he wrote out his dying wish — just in case the worst should happen — canceling out Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s dying wish.

“I, Donald Trump, your favorite president, hereby state that my dying wish is for Amy Coney Barrett to be confirmed to the Supreme Court,” Trump wrote as friends and family looked on somberly. “She’s a great nominee. The best, maybe ever. That Kavanaugh guy was alright, he was pretty good. But Barrett is the real deal.”

Legal scholars frantically tried to find a loophole so the nation could honor Ginsburg’s dying wish but not the president’s, but unfortunately for them, the plan was foolproof. “We are forced to honor this as legitimate,” they said. “There’s no way around it. Since we accepted Ginsburg’s dying wishes as constitutional law, now Trump’s are also legitimate. Should have thought that one through.”

Probably so, yeah.

Who’s laughing now?

Posted on September 26, 2020September 26, 2020 by Mike

Trump and his supporters have all the fun.

If there is anything President Donald Trump enjoys more than a rally, it’s a political victory. Tonight in Middletown, Pennsylvania, just outside Harrisburg, he had both. Fresh off his announcement that Amy Coney Barrett will be his historic third Supreme Court nominee, Trump headed to the Keystone State to celebrate with several thousand of his most dedicated supporters.

It is hard to underestimate what a shot in the arm the Supreme Court nomination and the impending confirmation fight has been for the president and his supporters. It is as convincing a conservative victory as the GOP has seen in some time, and it could not have come at a better time. Under gray clouds of impending rain, the crowd braved the skies and the president’s questionable musical tastes — Backstreet Boys? Really? — to see their champion.

About two hours before the president spoke, the music stopped and the big screen displayed the White House where Trump introduced the new justice-to-be to thunderous applause. If there was any question as to whether his supporters were digging the selection, those were put quite to bed.

One of the special moments of an airport Trump rally is the arrival of Air Force One. It is difficult to imagine a more dramatic entrance, and if it is an unfair advantage of incumbency, then Trump is not shy about using it. The crowd exploded at the sight of it, but not quite as much as they did when he finally took the podium in a drizzle, abandoning his umbrella, and announced Barrett’s name. Trump is not always one to share the spotlight, but tonight he seemed glad to.

Despite some tech difficulties, resulting in chants of “We can’t hear” and “Turn it up,” the crowd was jubilant, and Trump even seemed to raise his own generally loud voice in response. Nothing seems to dampen Trump’s parties.

There’s a good, and obvious, reason for that: Leftists are dour, miserable wretches. They hate their country. They hate their countrymen. They hate freedom. They hate guns. They hate cops. They hate having to live under a Constitution that, however badly it’s been weakened, is yet functional enough to provide some small protection against their ability to rule over We The Inferior absolutely.

They hate prosperity. They hate the internal combustion engine. They hate air conditioning, and the coal-fired power plants that provide reliable electric power to run it. They hate the Big Agriculture complex that feeds an entire planet. They hate music that has anything resembling a coherent, pleasant melody. They hate individuality, noncomformity, and independent thought. They hate Big Macs, or any food that actually tastes good. They hate heterosexuals. They hate normal, happy, traditional families. They hate freedom of speech, and of religion.

The list goes on and on, but perhaps even more than all of that, they hate that so many of us remain perfectly free to reject them, to denounce them, to mock them, and to refuse to join them in their lifelong immersion in pure, abject frustration and despair, like all Good People should. Don Surber provides us with a little compare-contrast between the two irreconcilable types:

This ad OMG pic.twitter.com/1V18ErCb83

— Kelb Hull (@CalebJHull) September 24, 2020

That vid manages to be two things at once: 1) the most entertaining political ad EVAR, and B) a wicked, mortal slash across the Left’s jugular. And then you see this:

Another “sane” reaction to RBG’s death 😂 pic.twitter.com/GGt3fq6Mx8

— Amy (@MaybeAmes) September 19, 2020

Yeah, I know which side I want to hang out on. As Bill Murray so memorably put it in Stripes:

Back to Surber for the wrap-up:

I concluded today’s Highlights of the News with the Texas Reloaded ad because it was fun. I want to go back to it because, well, the ad was fun, and fun is what Trump supporters are having this year.

People get the parody. People identify with the ad. People want to be part of the team because the team is having fun.

And as the headline says, Trump supporters are having all the fun. They get to hold rallies. They get to see their candidate belittle the media. They get to enjoy watching Wile E. Coyote Democrats blow themselves up again and again. I truly believe now that all Acme Products are made in Red China.

There is nothing Democrats can do to stop Republicans from making the Supreme Court 6-3 conservative. That is our cake. That it frustrates Democrats to the point of irrationality is the icing.

Biden supporters aren’t having fun because they don’t exist. If they existed, he would have won in Iowa and New Hampshire instead of finishing fourth.

Oh, there will be people who vote for Biden. Millions of them. But they are voting against President Donald John Trump, not for anyone. They have no candidate, and that is not fun because they have no team really. So in their anger, they tear up cities, they tear up campaign signs, and they tear up their own cars.

The polls say this, the polls say that. Trump supporters don’t care. We are having fun. We did it before and we will do it again — despite mail fraud, the media, and Karens flipping the bird and screaming in their cars.

And we will laugh as we are doing it.

Hey, laughter ain’t just the best medicine; it’s the best revenge, too. What better closer than this immortal classic?

That’s actually a flexi-disk which came as in insert in an issue of Mad magazine that I had back when I was but a budding juvenile delinquent. Wonder whatever happened to that thing…

A gem of invective

Posted on September 23, 2020September 23, 2020 by Mike

As Wanda Jackson sang: he’s a mean mean man.

I don’t think most people realize how many random jerkoffs show up to scream at me anytime I post anything. Which is why I get all these other well-intentioned types going “tsk tsk, Larry Correia is SO RUDE on the internet. He should be nicer.”

Of course, if these people who chide me about my rudeness had to put up with my social media feed for 24 hours, they’d either be curled up the fetal position on their shower floor, weeping. Or they would lose their shit and go on a tri-state killing spree.

I don’t think some of you realize what it is like to be a little bit famous with the wrong politics, but here, let me try to help. Let’s say that you put up a post about anything from current events which is even sort of controversial.

When I do that, people start to share it to their pages, where various strangers see it, and are inevitably compelled to come back to my page to tell me how I’m a horrible person who should die. Then the morons come flooding in. An endless stream of idiots, barking, hooting, screaming, throwing their feces, and dragging their diseased anuses on my carpet. And all of them feel compelled to share their bullshit hot takes with me, a total stranger, in the mistaken belief that they’re going to browbeat me or shame me into silence.

Good luck with that!

I’m pretty sure there is a mathematical formula to this. Y number of shares, R is the rate of controversy, find for X, which is the number of vapid morons blundering onto my page.

Three days ago I put up that post refuting the meme about the RNC speakers. By the time it got shared a thousand times, off the top of my head I think that thread got me an insane healing power of crystals hippie, five morons calling me names who were so incoherent that I couldn’t actually tell what they were upset by, a couple Common Internet Shit Gibbons, a Socialist Lemming, some pseudo-intellectual gotcha attempts from people who aren’t smart enough to pick up dog turds in the park for a living, and one incredibly boring dope who babbled about his asinine philosophy on EVERYTHING for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT. By the end I was reading all his posts in the voice of Colin Robinson.

That was ONE POST. But not a single death threat, or anyone wishing for me to get cancer… So that was actually kind of nice. I had one last month, with 8,000 comments, where I ended up blocking over 100 people in 24 hours. That was nuts. Apparently, where all these people come from, blundering into a stranger’s living room and screaming in his face is a “conversation”. And if you don’t put up with their endless abuse, you’re obviously a bad person.

Awesome. I’ll be the bad guy.

And THEN he takes the gloves off.

A match made in (someplace far from) Heaven

Posted on September 22, 2020September 22, 2020 by Mike

Mickey Dolenz lays out the fascinating backstory to one of the most peculiar chapters in rock and roll history.

The odd pairing might have been doomed from the start, given the two artists’ very different audiences. But Dolenz had been a fan of Hendrix since the guitar god was still known as “Jimmy James” and performing in Greenwich Village nightclubs with the Blue Flames. “It was 1966 or so, and the Monkees were in New York on a press junket,” he recalls of the first time he saw Hendrix live. “Someone said, ‘You gotta come down to the Village and check this cat out.’ The actual act was, I think, the John Hammond Band or something. But when we went down there, I remember sitting in the front row and there was this young kid, and he was playing guitar with his teeth! I didn’t even know his name at the time. I don’t even know if he was introduced, but he was going under the name Jimmy James at that point. He was just great.”

When Dolenz witnessed Hendrix’s iconic performance at the Monterey Pop Festival (a year later), he recalls, “All of a sudden this act comes on, not very well known yet, but very flamboyant — the clothes, the music. And I said, ‘Hey, that’s the guy that plays guitar with his teeth!’ I recognized him. And so simultaneously, just by coincidence really, we were looking for an opening act for our first tour. So, I suggested the Jimi Hendrix Experience to our producers, because obviously it was incredible music, but also very theatrical. And the Monkees were a theatrical act, if you really examine it. I guess that’s why it made sense to me. I just thought it would make a great mix.”

Apparently the admiration wasn’t mutual at first, as Hendrix had previously blasted the Monkees in the U.K. press, describing their music to Melody Maker as “dishwater” and saying, “Oh God, I hate them!” But once the Monkees’ “people went to his people,” says Dolenz, “Chas Chandler and everyone thought it was a good idea.” And so, on July 8 — less than a month after Hendrix had been the breakout star of Monterey Pop — the Jimi Hendrix Experience joined the Monkees for their first joint tour date in Jacksonville, Fla.

While the audience was vicious and unwelcoming, Dolenz was too wrapped up in watching Hendrix’s electric stage show to actually notice what was transpiring in the venue. “I didn’t even pay attention to what the audience reaction was, because I was just mesmerized by Jimi and his art,” he confesses. “We were just blown away by him every night — I know Nez [the Monkees’ Mike Nesmith] especially was. We would just stand in the wings in awe. I was fascinated by Jimi’s showmanship, by his persona. All I knew was, I liked it. And to this day, I don’t care much what people thought.”

Hendrix apparently did care what people thought, as he decided to quit the Monkees’ tour just eight days later, after dates in Miami, North Carolina, and a three-night run at New York City’s Forest Hills Tennis Stadium. Later, a seemingly bitter Hendrix told British music paper the NME that he’d been replaced by “Mickey Mouse.” Dolenz can neither deny nor confirm the longstanding rumor that Hendrix flipped the bird at the combative crowd during that final NYC show, though he quips, “I’ve never seen evidence of that rumor, but if it’s true, he certainly ain’t the first person to flip off an audience.”

In retrospect, Dolenz says he “wasn’t totally surprised” that the Monkees/Hendrix tour didn’t work out. “It was just night and day,” he admits of their clashing musical styles. “And we all knew, because he was fairly unknown at the time, that those thousands and thousands of kids were there to see the Monkees. Jimi knew that too.” As for whether he thinks the negative reaction Hendrix received had anything to do with racism, he insists, “No, it had to do with the fact that these fans had spent so much of their money to see the headliners. And if fans like that are really, really anxious and passionate, they’ll make their feelings known.”

Despite Hendrix’s poor reception, reservations about joining the tour in the first place, and that NME shade, he and the Monkees did hit it off, getting up to all sorts of rock ‘n’ roll adventures during their week on the road. “We spent a lot of time together. We went to clubs and wandered around aimlessly, and sometimes non-aimlessly,” says Dolenz fondly. “We got along great and had a great time. We partied; we hung around in the hotel rooms jamming and just singing, having little aftershow parties. I remember once we went to the Electric Circus in New York, a very famous psychedelic place back then.

The article comes complete with a cool photo of Hendrix sitting on a hotel-room bed beside Mike Nesmith, with one of Nesmith’s beautiful Gretsches in hand and Peter Tork looking on in what could only have been stunned delight. A friend of mine, a big Monkees fan back in her pre-teen years, told me once about how her mom had taken her to the disastrous Charlotte show, although she claimed to have little recollection of any details now. I kinda felt sorry for her, actually.

The story of horribly ill-considered combinations of headliners and support acts is a long and old one in the music biz, at just about every level. I’ve been on both sides of that same brand of miserable mismatch more than once my own self, just as any other road-dog touring act either has or will sooner or later. It’s almost inevitable if you’re out there long enough, just part of the game, and can even be looked back on with a certain fond amusement once the passage of time has healed the painful wound. But the legendary Hendrix/Monkees misfire is definitely one for the ages.

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