LeGoBTQEtc

Why yes, there really IS nothing they won’t politicize and, ultimately, ruin. Why do you ask?

Lego Announces Its Gender-Nonbinary Playset Featuring a Black Drag Queen

The story goes on from there, but I can’t. Something a bit more subtle than the renowned Double Facepalm is called for here, I think.

ImpliedFacepalm.jpg

Ahh, but does this ridiculousness get even more ridiculous, you ask? It appears so, yes.

Lego Unveils New Genderless Bricks With No Male/Female Connectors
BILLUND, DENMARK—As part of its new push toward inclusion and diversity, Lego has unveiled a new set of genderless bricks without male or female connectors. The entirely smooth bricks have no suggestive male nubs or female receptors and instead have entirely smooth, androgynous sides all around.

“This represents a new era in inclusive building bricks!” said Lego spokesperson Bjørn Irkestøm-Slater Walker. “Finally — anyone can play with our legos without being triggered by those horried male and female parts that imply they’re only supposed to fit in one direction. Every brick can stack on any other brick without anyone misgendering anything or making a brick feel bad because it only fits in one way.”

“I mean, I guess they’re pretty much just blocks now,” he admitted. “But they’re INCLUSIVE blocks!”

The bricks will still, of course, instantly kill you if you step on them.

I’ll leave it my readers to decide which of the above might be satire. MIGHT be. Back to NCFOM to wrap things up.



The Dismal Tide—a wonderful turn of phrase that hit me where I lived when I first heard it, from one of the very best movies I ever saw—is beginning to look more like a tsunami.

Hunter becomes the hunted

Stay on his worthless ass like a bad rash.

Hunter Biden Runs Back Into His House and Slams the Door When Confronted by Journalist and Huge Digital Billboard
Although he has recently granted several softball interviews to friendly corporate media outlets as part of his tone-deaf rehabilitation book tour, Hunter Biden on Monday had no time for an independent journalist who had just a few simple questions to ask.

Hunter initially came down to answer the door when journalist and filmmaker Phelim McAleer showed up outside of his home in Venice, California, but as soon as he realized that McAleer was not a state-approved journalist, “he ran back inside his home and slammed the door,” according to McAleer’s website Unreported Stories.

To be fair, it’s possible that the giant mobile digital billboard McAleer brought with him spooked the scandal-plagued Biden back into his house.

The billboard displayed a rotating menu of pointed questions regarding Cracky McPedophile’s Burisma scam, the Big Guy, and other pertinent topics. After Hunter’s cowardly duck ‘n’ cover, the two intrepid journalists then cruised the rig around Hunter’s posh West LA ‘hood a while before heading over to the Santa Monica Pier for a spell.

The stunt was the work of married filmmaking team Ann McElhinney and Phelim McAleer, who have made the Biden the subject of their latest project, “My son Hunter,” The Hunter Biden Movie.

McElhinney and McAleer were also behind the highly rated movie “Gosnell: The Trial Of America’s Biggest Serial Killer,” and the “FBI Lovebirds: UnderCovers” play that was based on the steamy texts of FBI agents Peter Strzok and Lisa Page.

Before that, the feisty Irish couple took on the global warming hoax with their documentary “Not Evil, Just Wrong.”

They are currently crowdfunding for their new film about Hunter Biden which they say will “expose the truth behind Hunter Biden’s business and corruption scandals and their direct connection to President Joe Biden.”

“Hunter Biden is terrified of the truth about the corruption being revealed,” explained McAleer. “That’s why he ran back in his house when he realized journalists were there to ask him serious questions. He’s used to easy questions from his Hollywood friends like Jimmy Kimmel, but when he’s faced with the serious allegations against him and his family – he runs scared. Hunter may not have answered us today but we will be back and we will have our questions answered.”

Good on ’em for their tenacity and all, but it’s a safe bet these two brave souls will be quietly “removed” by FBI goons long, long before a single one of those questions gets answered.

Thanks, but no thanks

Nobody needs to ever worry about tripping over me trying to get themselves an Impossible Whopper, I can tell you that much.

All of a sudden, we are being bombarded with agit-prop in favor of eating bugs and plant-based proteins, rather than eating beef and chicken. Beef seems to be the primary target, but that could simply be the result of the Left’s long war against cows. The Left believes cows are part of a secret conspiracy against Gaia to poison the atmosphere. The “cow fart” conspiracy is as real to them as the ongoing Russian conspiracy.

A few years ago, the fast food chain Burger King introduced something called an “impossible burger” which is made from grass clippings. The claim was that it tasted just like their regular burgers but was made from plants. Why they did this was never asked or explained. Up to that point, the number of people saying, “Man, I could really go for a burger made from grass clippings right now” was zero. In fact, the number remains stubbornly pegged at zero. No one wants this.

Now, billion dollar companies make dumb decisions. History is full of ideas cooked up in corporate offices that turn out to be laughably stupid. Maybe this grass burger idea is just another example, like new Coke. The thing is though, they did not invent the grass burger or the idea of it. There are two companies pushing this idea. Impossible Products and Beyond Meat are producing fake meat products. It was the former who approached Burger King with the plant burger idea.

Now, it is important to note here that these new fake meat products do not taste like meat as is claimed. They taste like what people who have never tasted meat think meat tastes like to humans. The fake beef has the mouth-feel of oatmeal. It is a weird sort of grainy slime when you eat it. It is not horrible and if you were starving you would probably eat it, but cannibalism would start to look appealing. Like the previous attempts to create fake meat, this new stuff is not very good.

Ain’t it the damnable truth. Back in the day, my roomie in NYC was unfortunate enough to do a short sentence condemned to dating a vegan chick. He brought home a pack of “Not Dogs” once on her recommendation. In a heroic demonstration of self-sacrifice and solidarity with the silly bint, Kev decided to try the abominable things out, and despite severe misgivings I agreed to join him. After about three bites, the last of which I spat into the kitchen trash can with no small vim, it was clear that her blandishments of “Ohh, they taste JUST LIKE real hotdogs!” were either delusional or just a damned brazen lie.

I always found this veg-head compulsion to make grandiose and extravagant claims regarding the scrumptious flavor of “vegan alternatives to meat” greatly annoying. You want a hot dog, eat a goddamned hot dog and get on with your life. If you actually LIKE Not Dogs—and you’re bugfuck nuts if you do—please do the rest of us the courtesy of not trying to kid anybody, including your empty-headed self, about what they do and do not taste like. Just eat the putrid things and leave sane people alone.

But ZMan understands what the whole exercise is really all about, which actually involves several traits, tactics, and objectives typical of our Progressivist betters. It is absolutely, positively NOT about flavor. That’s just a ruse they employ to trick the rest of us into sharing their misery.

The point is the companies pushing this do not have a better mousetrap. They are not even making that claim. In fact, they make it clear that their products are not better than what they seek to replace. In their public demonstrations they concede that it is, at best, a close facsimile. Instead, they claim their products are morally superior. You see, the burger made from grass clippings and dried leaves pleases Gaia. She will therefore reward the grass eaters and punish the meat eaters.

At some point, somebody needs to start punishing the Progtards. The weedy, sunken-chested feebs have gotten well above their proper station, and must be reminded of their proper place in the grand scheme of things and put back into it. Although I guess having to choke down Not Dogs and other such horrible swill is probably punishment enough.

Update! Now THAT’S what I’m talkin’.

Steak-Cake.jpg

Via WeirdDave.

What goes around comes around

Or: Karma is a brass-plated bitch.

Maricopa woman finds tires slashed and a severed finger in her driveway

Right off the bat, you know this is gonna be good.

A couple in Maricopa woke up to their tires slashed and a severed finger in the driveway on Thursday morning.

“I literally have been laughing all day because if I don’t, I might cry,” said Francesca Wikoff.

I confess, I’m already giggling a bit over here myself.

The truck belongs to the Wikoff family. Wikoff, a former volunteer firefighter and EMT, has the stomach for this sort of thing. “It’s pretty comical. You would think that if you’re gonna go to the hospital, especially if you just severed your finger off, that you would take said finger with you,” said Wikoff.

Wikoff believes the tire slasher cut her back tire then cut his finger off on accident. “We assume it happened at 10:30 last night because we had our neighbor that lives next to him heard a loud scream and then a car speeding off,” said Wikoff.

The Maricopa mother believes the finger belongs to her neighbor because they argued with him the night before and a trail of blood leads to his house.

“Pretty comical” doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it, Miz W. Be sure to click on over for her closing quip, which is a doozy.

Some SCIENCE!™ you can believe in

Another one of those too-long-open-tab items, so I can’t recall who I should offer credit for it. But I’m confident you’ll agree it was worth the delay.

AN FAQ ABOUT YOUR NEW BIRTH CONTROL: THE MUSIC OF RUSH

What’s in it?
Every woman deserves to know exactly what’s in her birth control. Rush is a Canadian progressive rock power trio whose golden era is generally considered to be from 1975 to 1982. Thankfully, for your long-term family planning strategy, the band has an extensive discography that spans from 1974 to 2012.

The music of Rush is marked by erratic signature changes, unconventional chord structures, heavy use of synthesizers and electronic effects, and, most importantly, lead vocals that sound like an ancient witch is being exorcised out of your body with live wires. In less clinical terms, imagine taking the most annoying parts of science fiction and Libertarianism, isolating them, and then somehow blending them up into a cursed musical slurry. Then, infuse that slurry with a distinctive incel vibe, and presto! You’ve got one of the most powerful contraception options on the market.

How effective is it?
No one has ever gotten pregnant while listening to the music of Rush. Clinical studies show that when combined with watching a male sexual partner play air bass along to the extended solo in “Freewill,” the contraceptive efficacy of Rush approaches 100%.

Will I experience any discomfort?
Yes.

How does it work?
The music of Rush is a tri-modal contraceptive, meaning it acts on three biological systems — endocrine, reproductive, and psychological. Together, this system is known as “Surge, Purge, and Loss of Urge.”

Surge: When a woman hears the ill-considered, stereotypical East-Asian riff at the beginning of “A Passage to Bangkok,” her pituitary gland floods the system with the hormone disgustagen. You’re familiar with this naturally-occurring hormone as it’s released by your body when your male colleague tells you to smile or when someone says, “You’re cute when you’re angry.” This makes Rush a safe, natural alternative to copper IUDs.

Purge: The purge phase begins when the vocals kick in. You’ll think you’re hearing jaws of life prying open a metal car door after a devastating accident. This is actually the testicles-in-a-vise banshee wail of vocalist and bassist Geddy Lee. His countertenor falsetto, combined with the surge of disgustagen, work in concert to trigger a panic response in the ovaries. Your reproductive system intuitively knows that it should not bring a child into a world that would reward this music with success. The ovaries will start tossing eggs overboard like they’re bailing out water from a sinking canoe.

Loss of Urge: The first two contraceptive phases of the music of Rush work synergistically with Loss of Urge, your most reliable tool in pregnancy prevention. About 30 seconds into the melodic meandering and feral-cat-being-threatened-by-a-raccoon vocals, a woman will experience a complete and total shut down of her sex drive. At this point, her legs will snap shut with the spring tension of a bear trap, making intercourse all but impossible.

Are there any side effects?
Common side effects include:

  • Skin crawling
  • Jaw clenching
  • Shuddering
  • Loss of social status
  • Embarrassment

Some women report feeling incredibly uncool. You may develop medium-to-severe irritation when your male sexual partner gives an impassioned ten-minute speech on how Neil Peart was the greatest percussionist in human history.

You have many options when it comes to birth control. Ask your doctor if the music of Rush is right for you.

Heh. If you ask me, the “music” of Rush isn’t right for anybody.

Ghastly!

Haven’t mentioned the death of Prince Phillip here yet, because…well, because meh, honestly. But then I saw this.

The royal consort of the UK has died at age 99. An acerbic individual, here are a selection of Prince Philip’s greatest hits, including his long-running wars against Tom Jones and Elton John, from a 2011 article in The Independent:

1. “Ghastly.” Prince Philip’s opinion of Beijing, during a 1986 tour of China.

2. “Ghastly.” Prince Philip’s opinion of Stoke-on-Trent, as offered to the city’s Labour MP Joan Walley at Buckingham Palace in 1997.

7. “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?” Asked of a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.

8. “Damn fool question!” To BBC journalist Caroline Wyatt at a banquet at the Elysée Palace after she asked Queen Elizabeth if she was enjoying her stay in Paris in 2006.

11. “We don’t come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.” During a trip to Canada in 1976.

13. “British women can’t cook.” Winning the hearts of the Scottish Women’s Institute in 1961.

15. “What do you gargle with – pebbles?” To Tom Jones, after the Royal Variety Performance, 1969. He added the following day: “It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs.”

16. “It’s a vast waste of space.” Philip entertained guests in 2000 at the reception of a new £18m British Embassy in Berlin, which the Queen had just opened.

18. “If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” Said to a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.

22. “I would like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family.” In 1967, asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union.

Good, goooood squishy, that is. More equally succulent Royal badinage at the link. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, Your Highness.

Doin’ the dirty boogie

WARNING: Some of you more genteel types will definitely want to avert your eyes from what follows, which I’ll tuck below the fold just as a courtesy. The embedded and/or linked material is, by all civilized standards, not safe for work—or for polite company in places outside the office, probably. Vulgar old bastid that I am, I think it’s just hilarious. Continue reading “Doin’ the dirty boogie”

Backscat

Related to the previous post, yes, but I had someplace else I wanted to go with this theme and decided to give it its own place in the sun.

All-Star Game Moved From Atlanta To Uyghur Prison Camp Yard
ATLANTA, GA—Spokespeople for Major League Baseball announced today that the All-Star Game this summer will be moved from Atlanta, due to its egregious voting laws, to a Uyghur prison camp yard, where there aren’t any bad voting laws at all.

The game will be held in the spacious prison yard, which features a tall barbed-wire fence and a modest outfield. The venue features lots of free labor, so every role from the ball boys to the concession vendors won’t cost the league a dime. In fact, the workers are already happily chalking the baselines and tending the grass, since if they don’t, they will be murdered.

“We must move the All-Star game to a place that shares our values,” said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. “This prison yard is absolutely perfect, and they’re giving it to us absolutely free. What a friend we have in Communist China!”

“Most importantly, the prison camp has no ban on early voting, since there is no voting, and no law against giving voters water, since there are no voters. Or water.”

In case you didn’t know already, the Bee is referencing Coca Cola’s ongoing more-than-cozy relationship with some truly rancid Commie dictatorships, China included. Anyways, know how I’m always going on about how working at the Bee has to be one of the toughest jobs in the world, given the near-impossibility of satirizing the overall state of affairs these days?

Well. About all that.

MLB Moves All-Star Game to Blue State with Stronger Election Laws Than Georgia

After pulling the All-Star Game from Atlanta over a Georgia election integrity law in line with the majority of U.S. states and most nations around the world, MLB is awarding the game to…drum roll please…the blue state of Colorado.

Here is the clincher though: Colorado has voter ID to vote in person, requires signature verification for mail-in ballots (unlike Georgia, which requires last four of Social Security number or driver’s license number), and a similar ban on food and water being given away by electioneers that Georgia has.

The All-Star Game being pulled from the Braves will cost Cobb County, where the stadium is hosted, and the surrounding areas an estimated $100 million in tourist revenue.

Awww, what a shame. I can’t even remember the last time ATL (where I lived for two years myself back in the late 90s) had a Republican mayor, so it is only meet and just that Duh Peepul get what they voted for—good and hard.

Raycissts and homophobes and hate, oh my!

Sooner or later, they’ll get around to something you DO care about.

It’s time to cancel the Village People

Meh—as a diehard disco-hatin’ rock and roller all my life, I thought so a long time ago. But maybe that’s just me.

Discerning cancellation connoisseurs so far have overlooked one of the most problematic boy bands of the 20th century — and it’s time to change that. The American disco group the Village People features a cast of empenised individuals donning costumes that glorify toxically masculine tropes of the time: a police officer, a cowboy, a construction worker, a sailor, a biker and, bizarrely, a Native American (more on that later).

This mono-gendered depiction of the local proletariat is laughably outdated. While some might say the only thing lesbians are actually good at is running nonprofits, today we know that Sappho’s daughters are just as good as men, probably better, at chasing down perps, roping steer and erecting skyscrapers. But let’s look at the music. Have you ever actually listened to the group’s 1979 hit ‘In the Navy’? On that track, it’s one of the band’s black members who shouts repeatedly, ‘I’m afraid of water!’

That raised my eyebrows. A constantly repeated racist stereotype is that black people can’t swim. The slur conjures up painful memories of the racial history of American swimming pools and that heated debate among the wokerati as to whether water itself is, in fact, racist.

Forget the fact that the music video was made with the help of the US Navy. The Village People, despite cashing in on military trappings, have remained silent on the struggle for trans people to serve openly in the military.

Silence is violence. And the name of the group itself is violence against trans womxn of color. Manhattan’s Greenwich Village today is emblematic of cis-het gentrification and a painful reminder of white real-estate terrorism. Take a stroll down Christopher Street on any given Friday night and see for yourself: trans womxn of color banished to basement stairwells and parked cars to perform sex acts for money in the shadows rather than high on a pedestal wearing golden knee pads.

Moreover, what does the ‘C’ stand for in the Village People’s number one hit song ‘Y.M.C.A.’? That’s right, Christian.

Today’s Alphabeteer is blessed with more enlightened sheroes and none involves cisgender men sporting getups that look like something from a plastic bag in the Halloween aisle at Ricky’s. While today’s paragons of LGBTQQAI2S++ liberation still play dress up, it’s usually as large, hairy women and we broadcast them in benevolently corporate media and in ads for Uber Eats.

The uniforms of true LGBTQQAI2S++ warriors aren’t fitted and pressed but more neon and bedraggled, like some highly poisonous, jungle-dwelling amphibian broadcasting to any creature in sight, touch me and die! The struggle for rights has moved well beyond an insular celebration of one’s own community to shock, revolt and intimidate all the others.

If the Village People wish to make a comeback in the age of woke, and pay penance to all the gender non-conforming children they’ve irreparably damaged, they’ll need a radical overhaul. Let’s rename them while we’re at it: the Global Village People. First to go are those caricatures of working class, Trumpian barbarism, to be replaced with more revolutionary-minded archetypes. Imagine the curtain rising on a packed Las Vegas stadium to reveal a college professor, a clipboard-toting community organizer, an app developer, the world’s fattest man, a Syrian war refugee, and Greta Thunberg — belting their new hit songs, ‘Trans in the Navy,’ ‘Go East,’ and everyone’s favorite open-borders ballad, ‘D.A.C.A.’

If that doesn’t sweep the Grammy’s, you’re all a bunch of bigots.

Well, of COURSE we are. The trick is to embrace their every insult and epithet, wear it with utmost pride, and then dare the shitlibs to do something about that. The moment you show even the slightest sign that you might possibly care even a little bit what they think about anything, you lose.

A nation mourns

So just to make sure I’ve got all this straight here: some random psycho walks into an ATL brothel and murders eight whores. The puppetmasters in charge of making pRetend pResident Bai-Ding dance see political hay to be made and have Faux Jaux stagger and stumble his way onto Air Farce Un to sky on down to The City Too Busy To Hate and order the shit-smeared FedGovCo ensign flown at half-staff to honor our national pussy-peddler heroes. Because, y’know, white supremacy ‘n’ Trump ‘n’ schtuff.

Yep, I believe that about covers it.

Biden orders flags flown at half-staff to honor Atlanta shooting victims

Well, it’s definitely a first, I’ll give him that much.

President Biden on Thursday ordered the flags at the White House and all federal buildings be flown at half-staff to honor the victims of the Atlanta-area spa shootings.

“As a mark of respect for the victims of the senseless acts of violence perpetrated on March 16, 2021, in the Atlanta Metropolitan area, by the authority vested in me as President of the United States by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, I hereby order that the flag of the United States shall be flown at half-staff … until sunset, March 22, 2021,” the White House said in a statement.

The order is also in effect for US embassies, consular officers and other facilities abroad, including military bases and naval vessels.

On Friday, the president and Vice President Kamala Harris will travel to Atlanta where they will meet with leaders in the Asian-American community.

All this, mind, for a non-event that—in a dozen collapsing urban hellscapes across the Former US—would more typically be referred to as a Mostly Peaceful Sunday afternoon.

Robert Aaron Long, 21, was arrested and charged with murder in the eight killings.

Long blamed the slayings on his sex addiction and claimed his intention was to “eliminate” the temptation.

And with that, it is now official: heretofore generally acknowledged as a deeply unserious nation, the FUSA has now descended into ludicrous self-parody.

Cognitive dissonance? Or just plain old stupidity?

One of those can be fixed. The other…can’t.

Last year, like many other Democrats, I took action. I campaigned, responded to social media misinformation and donated money to candidates. I celebrated when Joe Biden was announced as the winner of the presidency and when Democrats took back the Senate.

I also wrote a book to remind myself — and all of us — that honesty was something that still mattered, despite having the most dishonest person imaginable leading our country. But now that Donald Trump is out of office, I’m facing a painful truth: The man I prayed would become president could sign a piece of legislation that would kill my career as a freelance writer.

It’s the strangest political cognitive dissonance I’ve ever experienced.

You’re being far too generous with yourself there with that “cognitive dissonance” diagnosis, sweetie. No worries, though, you can always fucking learn to code, right?

Right now, my party is pushing a bill called the Protecting the Right to Organize Act, or the PRO Act, in an ostensible bid to help gig workers exploited by employers who won’t give them health care coverage and other benefits. But because of a problematic clause in the bill, it’s far more con than pro for me. The bill could end my ability to be my own boss, set my own hours and otherwise live the American worker’s dream.

Interesting. Despite being a Democrat-Socialist—even admitting that you celebrated when your crime syndicate masquerading as a political party stole an election and installed a corrupt, senile drooltard as pRetend pResident—you nonetheless seem very taken aback by certain home truths that are glaringly obvious to sane people. Let me try to enlighten you on just a few of those.

  • “Honesty” is the absolute LAST thing that matters to your professed party
  • The only thing your party gives a tinker’s damn about is power
  • Your party’s politicians care not a whit about any trauma or tragedy their own pursuit of power might inflict, on you or anybody else
  • The actions of your politicians are governed exclusively by expediency and effect; for them integrity, principle, patriotism, and empathy are NEVER of even minimal concern
  • Your politicians, though bloated with arrogance and conceit, are completely clueless as to how national economies function. Their vanity assures them that vastly complex and intricate economic systems can be successfully micromanaged, in defiance of historical confirmation of their total inability to manage anything other than economic collapse and destruction—confirmation so voluminous as to be beyond calculation

That “cognitive dissonance” clearing up any for ya? Or are you, as I strongly suspect, still stuck on stupid?

Beyond that, all my colleagues and I have been hearing from Democrats in response to our concerns are talking points about how they are fighting for American workers. Don’t I count as an American worker?

Closer, but not there yet. Another hint: To them, you don’t count at all.

I know what I believe in — things like an end to systemic racism, better support for families and children, increased voting rights and equity in schools. Yet now I find myself looking at Democrats’ slogans and questioning my assumption that their bills truly help the people who need it most.

The dawn struggles valiantly to break, yet somehow darkness persists.

I recognize that I’ve bought into broad narratives about the power of the people, usually pushing the most progressive-minded, feel-good policies that have easily repeatable language about things like the “dignity of work.” But when you’re the one whose work is suddenly threatened, it’s a bit more complicated.

Yep, life is like that. Ain’t it a cast-iron bitch?

I’m still holding on to my idealistic Leslie Knope-ish tendencies. I still believe good ideas and earnest people will be heard. But right now, it feels like I’m being sacrificed for support from unions — the major interest group pushing this legislation. And given the vitriol my colleagues and I are getting on Twitter, like repeatedly being called “scabs,” I don’t think there’ll be any holiday cards this year.

I’m not looking for sympathy.

You may rest assured that I’ll not be offering any.

After all, I’m a well-paid professional with plenty of lucky breaks to my name. What I am looking for is to be heard by the party I always believed best appreciated the breadth and width of America.

Oh for God’s sake will you get a fucking clue. Instead of stubbornly “looking to be heard” by a party that isn’t listening, the thing you really need to be looking for is the intestinal fortitude to admit that what you “always believed” was patently false—a deliberate, cynical deception used for purposes of manipulation. After that you can move on from there, maybe. I wish you luck and all, but I won’t be holding my breath waiting for it.

Back atcha!

Your sidesplitter of the week.

Readers are probably aware that Gab, the popular social media platform, was hacked last week. Allegedly its entire database was copied, although the encrypted details it contained (user passwords, etc.) have apparently not been penetrated. The hackers, a group calling themselves Distributed Denial of Secrets (previously labeled as a “criminal hacker group” by the Department of Homeland Security), appear to have timed releasing the news to coincide with the CPAC conservative political conference last weekend. They announced triumphantly that they would make the entire database available to “researchers”, to identify “far-right-wing extremists” who use Gab, and all the rest of the usual leftist nonsense.

Unsurprisingly, DDoS lied – or were, at least, “economical with the truth”, as Winston Churchill would have said. They (or someone at least associated with their hacking efforts) appear(s) to have attempted to extort about US $500,000 in Bitcoin from Gab head honcho Andrew Torba, in exchange for not releasing the database. They also appear to have used criminal hacking techniques to gain access to the database, not mere “innocent” tools and tricks. I’m hazy on the latter, not being an expert, but apparently more will come out in the wash. Even stranger, they’ve stated that they will not publicly release the entire Gab database, on the grounds of privacy. Seems strange for them to be concerned about “privacy” after ignoring it by criminally hacking the database in the first place!

What’s worse from their point of view is that Andrew Torba didn’t take their nonsense lying down:

TorbaHackResponse-1.png

Torba has condemned threats of violence against them (or against anyone, for that matter), but some of his fans are taking matters into their own hands. They’re tracking down everyone involved and publishing online as much information about them as they can find. Personally, I can’t help but regard that as entirely appropriate. To paraphrase a Biblical theme, “Do not hack, lest ye be hacked yourselves”!

The term “weaponized autism” has been used to describe 4Chan and its enthusiastic tech geeks. Gab appears to have more than a few of its own. They’ve been digging up all sorts of information about the Distributed Denial of Secrets crowd, some of which is now online at https://yourdaddyjoey.com/Emma-Best/. Here’s what one of their number had to say (click the screenshot below to be taken to the original social media post, and read the responses).

TorbaHackReponse-2.png

And here’s where the hilarity really gets its boots on and starts stompin’, Nancy Sinatra-style.

DDoS certainly seems to be a weird bunch, by anyone’s standards. Here, for example is “Emma Best”.

TorbaHackResponseFreak.png

This terrifying freak has a “husband,” apparently, and Hubby doesn’t seem to much appreciate having somebody turn the fucking tables on his gruesome “wife.”


TorbaHackWAAAH.png

Awwwwww. Say it with me one mo’ time ag’in: WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Also: lolgetfucked

As the post acknowledges, Gab (and Andrew Torba) have explicitly disclaimed violence and doxing – but the DDoS crowd doesn’t appear to accept that. Instead, they seem to believe it’s fine for them to hack others, but not nearly so fine for others to employ similar techniques against them. What can I say except, “Boo hoo”?

Oh, I have a bit more to say than just that. For openers: IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME. The squeamishness on the side of Right about using Lefty fascists’ own methods against them, of “sinking to their level,” becoming “as bad as they are,” &c needs to cease, and I mean yesterday. Many on the Right have insisted on “taking the high road” for years now, which has gotten them nothing other than their asses kicked up between their shoulder blades. Imagine that: down and dirty gutter brawls aren’t won by sticking to Marquess of Queensberry rules. Turns out that sniffing in haughty disdain when one’s opponent proves himself so gauche as to pull a knife, in unseemly breach of all established standards of gentlemanly combat, will only get one cut to ribbons.

Our reverence for civilized conduct, honor, and fair play has become a means of attack by the Left, and a damned effective one it has become. That shouldn’t come as a surprise, though. Evil’s sole raison d’etre is to corrupt, to defile, to degrade. It doesn’t prevail through revelation, but through obfuscation. It doesn’t overcome, it undermines. Evil has always sought to turn strength into weakness, resolution into indecision, clarity into confusion.

So henceforth, every time I see some fascist freak whimpering over someone doxxing his ass in retaliation for an assault on One Of Us, I will NOT feel the slightest dismay or disgust. Nor will you be seeing any tut-tutting in sympathy from me. This websty will offer neither apology for the “offense” nor condemnation of the agent of our vengeance. Whenever some Lefty trash gets his ass doxxed—or hacked, or SWATted, or beaten about the head and shoulders with a stout stick until he quacks like a duck, even—be assured that somewhere, I’ll be standing up and cheering. With a smile on my face and a song in my heart, no less.

The Left enjoys several tremendous advantages in this struggle:

  • Absolute certainty that they will be victorious
  • Unshakable belief in the righteousness of their cause, their right and competence to rule, and their own intellectual and moral superiority over those they intend to subjugate and oppress
  • No reluctance to engage their enemies decisively; perfect clarity about their war aims and goals
  • A no-holds-barred, no-such-thing-as-a-fair-fight, rules-are-for-saps attitude towards all aspects of the war, from weaponry to tactics to how the losers will be dealt with

Meanwhile, Team Liberty dithers, waffles, and rationalizes in preference to straightforwardly acknowledging the ugly truth about The Enemy’s true nature, intentions, determination, and capabilities. In part, this is actually laudable in a way, since this attitude stems from a sense of propriety, decency, and fundamental humanity not to be found on the Left.

Which means that, laudable or not, what it also is is self-defeating—a serious opening-bell handicap which guarantees that, when the bell closing out the final round is rung, Team Liberty will have lost the fight. The sad fact that humanity, decency, and propriety are just more things the Left perceives not as admirable qualities but as additional weaknesses that can be used as weapons against us.

One of Friedrich Nietzsche’s most well-known quotes is this one:

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Maybe so, maybe so. Philosophizing aside, slaying the collectivist/authoritarian monster is going to require some monstrous deeds of ordinarily kind-hearted and peaceable sorts who will no doubt shudder at the thought. Moreover, it is folly at best to imagine that the Left can be reasoned with, bargained with, or somehow rendered harmless and docile via some means other than unconstrained physical violence.

T’ain’t so, Mcgee. Yes, yes, all we really wanted was to be left alone. This, they will not do. Either we submit to them, or we stop them. At this late date, harsh and distasteful as otherwise decent people may find it, the only way we’ll ever free ourselves from the monster’s clutches is if we kill him.

Via Bill, who reminds one and all: Don’t start none, won’t be none. Amen, brother.

Not my game, I ain’t gonna play

Call it whatever you want, but a spade will still be a spade.

This Is Not Normal and I Refuse to Pretend It Is
Can we stop for a minute and recognize the absurdity of what we witnessed in a Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee confirmation hearing on Thursday? I turned on C-SPAN and could not believe what I was seeing. A transgender individual—decked out in makeup, jewelry, an ugly skirt, and a hairdo straight out of a 1980s Twisted Sister MTV video—came before a committee of the U.S. Senate and everyone acted like this was completely normal.

Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul was the only person on the Senate HELP committee to question Rachel Levine’s radical transgender ideology, which includes chemical (and possibly physical) castration of minor children without their parents’ consent. What did poor Rand Paul get for his courage and honesty? Charges that the medical doctor is an “ignorant’ transphobe. Where were his Republican colleagues? Sitting in their comfy chairs acting as if having a man wearing lipstick and a dress in the Senate chamber is the most normal thing in the world. They’re cowards who are afraid that the mob will come for them next—and they’re hedging their bets that the whole issue will go away before they’re forced to go on the record about all this trans tomfoolery.

We’ve regressed so far as a society that no one bats an eye when a delusional man who believes himself to be a woman is being put forth as a nominee for a vaunted position in government by the president of the United States. And we’re all just supposed to play along with this fantasy and act as if it’s completely normal. It’s not.

Shockingly, the position Levine is under consideration for is the assistant secretary of Health and Human Services. A man who denies science, believing he can overcome what every cell in his body screams—that he’s a male, packed full of XY chromosomes—is going to be in charge of directing health policy for the entire nation. What kind of mass delusion are we under that we just sit back and pretend this is good for us—for our nation, for our children, and for our health?

Now is not a time for cowardice. It’s a time to stand up and say “this is not normal” and to refuse to go along with the charade. The transgender ideology is destroying our culture. Denying basic biology in order to pacify a handful of troubled individuals—and elevating those individuals to high positions in government—makes a mockery of truth and morality, and denies what is visible to all.

They aren’t “pacifying” them, or “elevating” them. They’re USING them, exactly as they’ve used so many others who have fallen under the shitlib thrall: women, Negroes, Mexicans, immigrants and refugees, gays/lesbians, the homeless, the urban poor, the mentally ill, the handicapped, and so on. They divide people into groups; inculcate an unshakable belief in the poisonous idea of their own systemic victimization; urge them on to destructive, futile acts as the only means by which the wrongs done to them by powerful Others might be righted; and then abandon them the instant their usefulness has been outlived. Which is usually when the dumpee saps find out firsthand what REAL victimization is all about.

None of which either surprises or particularly interests me at the moment, I confess. No, the part of this story I wonder about is, did Mr Levine actually have his john-willy whacked off? Or is he among the vast majority of the statistically negligible sub-sub-sub-genus all and sundry are required to misnomer “transgenders” nowadays: a confused, off-camber dude whose unwanted courting tackle, although tucked away under cover of plus-sized women’s wear, is nonetheless intact—ie, a transvestite with, shall we say, loftier ambitions?

Whatever the case may be with this sad, addle-pated freak and his now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t clamdigger, allow me to beat the crowd with an early prediction: Mr Levine will almost certainly be our next “President.” Before you dismiss the notion out of hand, think about this: after our Historic First Black Wymrynzxx “President”—Kumala Willielicker, that would be—what the hell else in the way of Historic First etc etc is left to us? Does anybody really believe that a Historic First Hindoo, illegal alien, or Moslem would satisfy, when we have Mr Levine waiting in the wings for his chance to shine?

Better go ahead and get those bets down now, folks. Trust me on this.

A real no-shitter

BCE uncovers the devil lurking in the details about Peelousi’s desk-ridin’ General Bigtalk.

That’s the H.M.N.I.C now.. (Head Motherfuckin’ Nigger In Charge) of ‘investigating’ the January 6th Shenanigans.
There has never been a more self-loathing Black Man in uniform.
Uncle Tom indeed
He was the one who was in charge of the fucked uppedness of the Katrina Response.
He was the one who didn’t do shit during the Global War on Terror
He’s the one who’s consistently been a partisan hack and anti-gun and outright anti-American across the board.
Fucker only has jump wings and a fucking EIB (Expert Infantry Badge) and as a General, I’d even call that into question as I can’t see a grader on an EIB course telling a General or any other occisfer under the rank of Major that he failed out.
I fucking have the EIB for fucks sakes.

All fine and well, Expat. But why don’t you just go ahead and tell us all what you really think about this Paper(cut) Warrior? Please feel free to not mince any words.

This partisan fuck?
Fuck him. Piece of shit rear echelon motherfucker… REMF for short.
Fucker was responsible for anti-constitutional calls for gun confiscation in New Orleans during Katrina, and never paid the price, which should have been castration, followed by public hanging

But

Unfortunately, we don’t hang obsolete non-functional farm equipment

Pity That.

Heh. Okay, duly noted. And endorsed. I look forward to the day this affirmative-action promotee unleashes a couple-three regiments from the US Army’s renowned 113th Transgender Division. Here’s a photo of a few of these dreaded war-pigs marching off to war:

My GOD, but this is one fucked-up country.

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

Fake Phony Fraud(s), S'faccim: two excellent descriptors coined by the late great WABC host Bob Grant which are interchangeable, both meaning as they do pretty much the same thing

Mordor On The Potomac: Washington, DC

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pAntiFa: an alternative spelling of "fascist scum"

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