A bargain at ANY price

You can’t take the skies from me.

Rocket Report: SpaceX focused on Starship reentry; Firefly may be for sale
Firefly may be up for sale. Firefly Aerospace investors are considering a sale that could value the closely held rocket and Moon lander maker at about $1.5 billion, Bloomberg reports. The rocket company’s primary owner, AE Industrial Partners, is working with an adviser on “strategic options” for Firefly. Neither AE nor Firefly commented to Bloomberg about the potential sale. AE invested $75 million into Texas-based Firefly as part of a series B financing round in 2022. The firm made a subsequent investment in its Series C round in November 2023.

Launches and landers … Now more than a decade old and with a history of financial struggles, Firefly has emerged as one of the apparent winners in the small launch race in the United States. The company’s Alpha rocket has now launched four times since its unsuccessful debut in September 2021, and it is due to fly a Venture Class Launch Services 2 mission for NASA in the coming weeks. Firefly also aims to launch its Blue Ghost spacecraft to the moon later this year and is working on an orbital transfer vehicle.

Butbutbutwait—you mean you aren’t talking about…dammit, I thought you meant…you shoulda told…oh, to hell with it.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

 

(Via Insty)

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Now, THAT’S impressive!

I have bought weed legally in one of Amsterdam’s fabled “black” coffee shops, and smoked it therein too—again, legally. So my question about this headline is: what in the actual fuck does one have to do to be arrested for drugs in Amsterdam?

Nicki Minaj Reportedly Arrested On Drug Charges In Amsterdam [VIDEOS]

No excerpt from the article, ‘cause who the hell cares.

Kelly’s hot streak continues

Megyn Kelly looks better than ever: beautiful, unflappable, and self-assured. She’s doing her own thing her own way as host of her independent SiriusXM show, and damned if she ain’t kicking ass and taking names too. You go, girl! This time out, it’s dissembling shitlib sad-sack Bill Maher—who I freely admit does get something right once in a rare while—with his (turkey) neck on MK’s chopping block.

Megyn Kelly Brutally Fact Checks Bill Maher’s Left Wing Talking Points to His Face
For a while now, I’ve been willing to give left-wing comedian Bill Maher a lot of credit when he criticizes the radical left. He’s challenged left-wing orthodoxy enough that it’s actually newsworthy and important when he does. But at heart, he’s still a leftist who, as he proved in an appearance on “The Megyn Kelly Show” on SiriusXM on Tuesday, still lets his rabid anti-Trumpism cloud his judgment.

During the show, while talking about the 2024 election and the choice between Biden and Trump, Maher argued that “you have to respect who wins an election or else you don’t have the kind of country we’ve always had before.”

To which Kelly pointed out, “Hillary Clinton, of course, is the original election denier. I’m sure you voted for her in ’16.”

“Well, she’s not an election denier,” Maher insisted.

“She absolutely was the OG election denier,” Kelly retorted.

“First of all, she came out before the sun had risen to concede the election to Trump,” Maher pushed back, as if that matters.

“And then spent the next four years saying he was illegitimate, he was an illegitimate president,” Kelly pointed out.

“Okay, well, first of all, she didn’t say he was an illegitimate,” Maher claimed.

“Yes, she did,”

“Tell me exactly what she said,” Maher challenged.

“She said those exact words repeatedly.”

Megyn Kelly, is, of course correct.

Which Miz Megyn proved without further ado, via running a video montage of Her Herness!!!™ saying/doing exactly what Kelly said she did. Maher being Maher, he continued to waffle, weasel, and worm around weakly for another few seconds, splitting any available semantic hair he thought Megyn might let him get away with while his interlocutor blandly affixed the latest scalp to her battle-belt. Poor, luckless Maher’s ordeal only got worse from there, with Megyn savagely eviscerating him on a new topic, leaving him sweaty, flushed, and plainly wishing he was anywhere else by the end of the festivities. Watch the vid; mere text just doesn’t do it justice.

I like her, I must say; like good bourbon, she only improves with age, and seems to have really come into her own of late. It’s a damned shame about her pointless (and apparently ongoing) kerfuffle with Trump in 2015, but hey, whatchagonnado, I suppose. I could be all wet, and probably am, but it looks to me as if Trump gets a kick out of baiting Kelly now and again, almost like he’s doing it for his own entertainment. Certainly, there’s no shortage of fat, juicy shitlib targets I’d prefer to see him go after, instead of burning ammo taking potshots towards the Right.

Then again, he’s done that all along; what the hey, Trump’s gonna Trump. Too, it’s not as if Kelly hasn’t gotten a few things back-asswards and wrong herself, although to the best of my knowledge she promptly acknowledges and corrects the error once the lightbulb has finally clicked on—which, as a journalist, is no more nor less than her professional obligation, any personal scruples aside. All just part of the process, I reckon. Trump would be punching far below his weight in going after a trifling anklebiter like Bill Maher, granted. But that in no way suggests that Kelly’s skillful smackdown wasn’t worthwhile.

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“You married a dude?”

When a psychotic murderer makes more sense than one of the two (2, supposedly) dominant political parties, you know the country’s in one hell of a sorry state.


Via Irish.

Update! Since Barry says he hasn’t seen it, here’s a few more simply incredible scenes from one of the greatest Hollywood movies ever made.

What a fucking movie, eh?

Updated update! A little more background info on NCFOM, for anybody else who may not have seen it yet.

No Country for Old Men is a 2007 American neo-Western crime thriller film written, directed, produced and edited by Joel and Ethan Coen, based on Cormac McCarthy’s 2005 novel of the same name. Starring Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, and Josh Brolin, the film is set in the desert landscape of 1980 West Texas. The film revisits the themes of fate, conscience, and circumstance that the Coen brothers had explored in the films Blood Simple (1984), Raising Arizona (1987), and Fargo (1996). The film follows three main characters: Llewelyn Moss (Brolin), a Vietnam War veteran and welder who stumbles upon a large sum of money in the desert; Anton Chigurh (Bardem), a hitman who is sent to recover the money; and Ed Tom Bell (Jones), a sheriff investigating the crime. The film also stars Kelly Macdonald as Moss’s wife, Carla Jean, and Woody Harrelson as Carson Wells, a bounty hunter seeking Moss and the return of the $2 million.

No Country for Old Men premiered in competition at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival on May 19. The film became a commercial success, grossing $171 million worldwide against the budget of $25 million. Critics praised the Coens’ direction and screenplay and Bardem’s performance, and the film won 76 awards from 109 nominations from multiple organizations; it won four awards at the 80th Academy Awards (including Best Picture), three British Academy Film Awards (BAFTAs), and two Golden Globes. The American Film Institute listed it as an AFI Movie of the Year, and the National Board of Review selected it as the best of 2007. It is one of only four Western films ever to win the Academy Award for Best Picture (the others being Cimarron in 1931, Dances with Wolves in 1990, and Unforgiven in 1992).

No Country for Old Men was considered one of the best films of 2007, and many regard it as the Coen brothers’ best film. As of December 2021, various sources had recognized it as one of the best films of the 2000s, and as one of the best films of the 21st century. The Guardian‘s John Patterson wrote: “the Coens’ technical abilities, and their feel for a landscape-based Western classicism reminiscent of Anthony Mann and Sam Peckinpah, are matched by few living directors”, and Peter Travers of Rolling Stone said that it is “a new career peak for the Coen brothers” and “as entertaining as hell”.

No argument from me, with any of it. So what the heck are you waiting for, anyhow?

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Free markets, free enterprise? No thanks, we’re Amerikans

An amusing story that illustrates perfectly how very far from anything resembling small-business-oriented laissez-faire capitalism we’ve come.

How to Murder a Popular Restaurant Chain With This 1 Weird Trick
Following the unexpected closure of dozens of locations last week, Red Lobster completely expectedly filed for bankruptcy protection this week — and how the seafood chain ended up in Chapter 11 restructuring is a fascinating story of bad decisions, spastic leadership, and shortsighted greed. It’s that last element that really tells the tale.

Reb Lobster “temporarily closed” 87 restaurants last week, but as USA Today reported, some of them have “their kitchen equipment up for auction on an online restaurant liquidator.” Temporary, eh?

CNN’s Nathaniel Meyersohn wrote Monday that the chain’s “misguided endless shrimp promotion drove it into bankruptcy.” If you missed the news — I knew about it but my efforts at getting back into shape couldn’t afford it — last summer, Red Lobster made their $20 all-you-can-eat shrimp special a permanent menu item.

“The plan, as far as I can tell,” Luke Winkie wrote for Slate, “was for guests to fill up on just enough shellfish to preserve Red Lobster’s profit margin. It backfired spectacularly: The restaurant’s clientele scarfed down enough shrimp to accumulate an $11 million operating loss in the fourth quarter of 2023.” But that $11 million loss was only a small fraction of the company’s overall $72 million loss last year.

There’s so much more to the story than a money-losing menu item.

Business analyst Trung Phan posted to X that “the interesting part” behind the all-you-can-eat shrimp “is that one of the chain’s owners is Thai seafood firm Thai Union… and it may have used Endless shrimp to dump its own shrimp supply through the 578 restaurants in North America.” Restaurant Business Online reported that bankruptcy court documents question “whether the control Thai Union exerted over the supply chain process drove up costs for the chain, worsening its financial condition.” Quality control was reportedly an issue, too.

“Quality”? At Red Lopster?!? The McDonalds of seafood restaurants, first-choice favorite of Neegrows nationwide and hardly anyone else?

Now you’ve heard everything, right?

Wrong.

There’s still more.

And of course there is, Stephen wouldn’t lie about a thing like that. Thankfully, down South we’ve always been blessed with enough old-school “fish camps” that no sensible person had to even think about resorting to dumps like Red Lopster *shudder* for their seafood needs anyway, so no great loss.

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BREAKING: B’rer Rabbitt to be thrown into briar patch!!!

Shocking, horrifying, awful news. Whatever are we going to do without these two Great American Patriots?

JUST IN: Stormy Daniels’ porn star husband says couple will ‘vacate the country’ if Trump found not guilty
“I think if it’s not guilty, we got to decide what to do. Good chance we’ll probably vacate this country.”

In an interview with CNN’s Erin Burnett, Barrett Blade, spouse of adult film star Stormy Daniels, revealed on Tuesday that they are seriously considering relocating abroad if former President Donald Trump is found not guilty in his ongoing Manhattan criminal trial.

Not to worry, sleazebag: a jury made up entirely of Trump-hating NYC shitlibs, instructed by the most slippery-slimery crook of a presiding judge ever to befoul the bench? Yeah, the chances Trump won’t be found guilty on all counts, plus several more charges made up on the spot by court kangaroos, hover somewhere between None whatsoever and Please, please, stop, yer killin’ me ovah heah!

Blade expressed concerns about the intense scrutiny and negativity directed at his wife.

“If Trump is found not guilty, I think there’s a — I mean, either way, I don’t think he gets better for her. I think if it’s not guilty, we got to decide what to do. Good chance we’ll probably vacate this country. If he is found guilty, she’s still got to deal with all the hate that feel like she’s the reason that he’s guilty from all of his followers. So I don’t see it as a when situation either way. I know that we would like to get on with our lives. I know that she wants to move past this. We want, we just want to do what I guess we would say normal people get to do and some aspects, but I don’t know if that ever will be, you know,” Blade said.

I have only two (2) responses I can make to this bullshit whinging:

And:

Of course, like all those crybaby H-wood types who have solemnly sworn to flee the country after each and every Repugnicunt victory since George W Bush got them soiling their Underoos back in 2000, but who never bother to follow through, these two oxygen thieves aren’t going to actually leave either—which I consider to be extremely unfortunate, quite frankly.

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Another one they aren’t making any more of these days

That would be gifted actor, horseman, Marine veteran, Hollywood stuntman, ranch hand, jazz singer, blacksmith, and world-champion poker player Wilford Brimley.

Anthony Wilford Brimley (September 27, 1934 – August 1, 2020) was an American actor. After serving in the U.S. Marine Corps and working odd jobs in the 1950s, Brimley started working as an extra and stuntman in Western films in the late 1960s. He became an established character actor in the 1970s and 1980s in films such as The China Syndrome (1979), The Thing (1982), Tender Mercies (1983), The Natural (1984), and Cocoon (1985). Brimley was known for playing characters at times much older than his age. He was the long-term face of American television advertisements for the Quaker Oats Company. He also promoted diabetes education and appeared in related television commercials for Liberty Medical, a role for which he became an Internet meme.

Brimley joined the Marines in 1953 and served in the Aleutian Islands for three years. He also worked as a bodyguard for businessman Howard Hughes as well as a ranch hand, wrangler, and blacksmith. He then began shoeing horses for film and television. At the behest of his close friend and fellow actor Robert Duvall, he began acting in the 1960s as a riding extra and stunt man in westerns. In 1979, he told the Los Angeles Times that the most he ever earned in a year as an actor was $20,000. He had no formal training as an actor, and his first experience in acting in front of a live audience was in a theater group at the Los Angeles Actors’ Theater.

His first credited feature film performance was in The China Syndrome (1979) as Ted Spindler, a friend and coworker of plant shift supervisor Jack Godell (portrayed by Jack Lemmon). That same year, he appeared in the Robert Redford/Jane Fonda feature film “The Electric Horseman” cast as simply “The Farmer” while assisting Redford and Fonda’s characters evade troopers while transporting the horse in a cattle hauler. Later, Brimley made a brief but pivotal appearance in Absence of Malice (1981) as the curmudgeonly, outspoken Assistant Attorney General James A. Wells. In the movie The Thing (1982) he played the role of Blair, a biologist among a group of men at an American research station in Antarctica who encounter a dangerous alien that can perfectly imitate other organisms.

Brimley’s close friend Robert Duvall (who also appeared in The Natural) was instrumental in securing for him the role of Harry in Tender Mercies (1983). Duvall, who had not been getting along with director Bruce Beresford, wanted “somebody down here that’s on my side, somebody that I can relate to.” Beresford felt Brimley was too old for the part but eventually agreed to the casting. Brimley, like Duvall, clashed with the director; during one instance when Beresford tried to advise Brimley on how Harry would behave, Duvall recalled Brimley responding: “Now look, let me tell you something, I’m Harry. Harry’s not over there, Harry’s not over here. Until you fire me or get another actor, I’m Harry, and whatever I do is fine ’cause I’m Harry.”

It was Brimley’s showstopper star-turn as AAG James J Wells (not James A Wells, as Wiki erroneously has it above) in Absence of Malice that sent me down the Wilford Brimley rabbit hole today, after re-watching Brimley’s riveting performance on YewToob. Interesting thing about the apparent James J/James A flub: Brimley’s character may very well have been James A in the script (don’t know, didn’t check), judging from what appears to be his momentary hesitation when giving his name as James J in the AoM final cut:

Note ye well that Mr Brimley, a relatively unknown bit-player-cum-character actor at the time, just walked in, sat down, riffled some papers, opened his mouth, and proceeded to steal the entire film from screen titans Paul Newman and Sally Field, without so much as breaking a sweat. By God, that there is what you call acting, bub. Ahh, but how very typical of Wilford Brimley: Kurt Russell, Robert Duvall, Robert Redford, Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon—running scenes with all of these fine actors and many more, he refused to be intimidated or overawed, nonchalantly holding his own with all those marquee names, making it look not just easy, but effortless.

More rich, buttery Brimley goodness from AoM:

One more time:

Over the years I must’ve seen Absence of Malice about, oh, I dunno, forty or fifty times—enough that I’ve long since had every word of Brimley’s dazzling five minutes or so of screentime towards the end down by heart, anyway—and still ain’t no way tired of the flick. If you’ve never seen the movie, I urge you with all my heart not to let another sun go down before you rectify that gap in your cinematic education. They ain’t making movies like Absence of Malice anymore, nor actors like Wilford Brimley, nor sturdy, versatile, by-God American men like him, for that matter.

Anybody else thinking, as I just was, that the AAG Wells character, in fact pretty much all the G-men in the above climactic scenes, represents another long-gone American totem: the competent, reasonable, and trustworthy public servant? Not to mention Sally Fields’ newspaper reporter, who, although she lost her way temporarily and compromised her professional ethics in pursuit of a red-hot scoop, nonetheless proves herself to be basically decent in the end, deeply regretful for betraying her integrity and resolved that she will NOT let it happen again.

As Wells says of the DA ensnared in Michael Gallagher’s clever trap: “Yeah, he’s a nice guy, he just forgot about the rules.” When the dust has settled, the wayward but basically well-meaning are chastened, the corrupt and malifecent made to face serious consequences, and AAG Wells has somebody’s ass in his briefcase, as promised.

Today, though, is there anyone left among us so naive, so unworldly, that he seriously expects such unflagging virtuousness from his “public servants,” even in a fictional movie? Yep, the past is a different country all right.

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Culprit identified!

So as y’all probably know already, Jerry Seinfeld, fresh off some disparaging words for Wokesters, Cancel Culture, and Leftards in general (to my own great surprise), was slated to give the commencement address at Duke University the other day. Whereupon a cpl-three dozen of the stunning, brave Extry Double Special Snowflake students, affronted by the comic’s White Male Jewboy Fascist violent microaggression against their tender sensibillities, walked out to convey their disgust for Seinfeld’s intolerable, Literally Genocidal Hate Speech the week before.

Questions arose: Might there have been some behind-the-scenes mastermind behind the walkout? Was it spontaneous, or planned in advance? Could such a protest have gone off so smoothly without prior coordination by some shadowy, sinister agent provocateur directing the action from offstage? If not, who might that shadowy manipulator have been?

You has questions, the Bee has answers.

Heh. NEWMAN!!! I might’ve known. The article is paywalled, so no excerpt; I figured the screen-grab pretty much says it all anyhoo. Calls for a topical embed, I do believe.

No word at this writing as to whether the student snub-cum-childishtantrum has shown Seinfeld the error of his Reich-wing ways and persuaded him to Become Better through embracing the enlightened, sophisticated, clearly superior Smarterer Set way of thinking yet, but I have every confidence that it soon will. It always has before, see. You’ll find true happiness and fulfillment once you’ve emerged from the dark side and joined us in the Light, Jerry!

Kristi, we hardly knew ye!

It’s a damnable shame, I had such high hopes for her up till now. Alas, no longer, although I suppose there’s still barely a ghost of a glimmer of a slim snowball’s shadow of an outside chance that she’s just the latest victim of yet another shitlib con/hit job, career-destroying words put into her mouth by shady malefactors while she wasn’t paying close enough attention. I certainly wouldn’t bet money I couldn’t afford to lose on it, but it’s just possible. Just. Maybe. I guess.

“Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift no heavy-ass weights.” – Ronnie Coleman

Writing an interesting and engaging article often requires a significant amount of time and energy.

Writing an entire book, especially one that is insightful and captivating, is truly an incredible accomplishment, because it requires SO MUCH WORK AND TIME to complete the mission.

In the political publishing industry, however, the top “authors” have gamed the system entirely. The entire genre is a fraudulent mess of epic proportions.

I’m only 34, but I’ve been in the media and publishing space for quite some time, having written for pretty much every major right of center publication you could think of. I have no idea how long this massive grift has been occurring, but I can assure you it’s been going on for decades.

One such high profile example of political ghostwriting dates back to 1956, with Profiles In Courage, the 1956 volume that helped to establish the intellectual and political bonafides of John F. Kennedy.

Now, there has been a noticeable distinction between how “insiders” and “outsiders” have interpreted the flaming dumpster fire that is the publicity tour related to South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem’s upcoming book. The general public seems confused about the idea that Noem seemingly didn’t know about so many things that were in *her own book*.

From stories of psychopathically mass-shooting her animals to concocted tales of talking tough to Kim Jong Un, Noem’s answers for her claimed antics, and the repeated falsehoods claimed under her namesake, have gone from bad to worse.

It’s a given that many of us in the space already wrote off the idea Noem would write any of her own book. But she has taken the laziness of politician “publishing” to new heights. She apparently didn’t proofread any of her book either, despite narrating the audiobook. Given the historic botch job, I’m glad that the public is starting to ask more questions about this incredibly sketchy operation.

The Kristi Noem saga has exposed an open secret about the political publishing industry: a tiny percentage of “authors” in the space write their own books. And those real authors are often smothered by fake authors with a machine in place to promote their fake autobiographies, which take time and opportunity away from those who have put in the work.

For politicians, I would estimate that maybe 1 percent write their own books. Some spend occasional time with their ghostwriter in order to best express their personality and ideas. Others, like Noem, just mail it in entirely, and have the ghostwriter rely upon public material from speeches and appearances.

Yeah, well, it’s kinda hard to decide which of the two likely scenarios is worse: that she neither wrote NOR read the thing and is therefore blissfully unaware of the kind of bizarre, godawful stories related therein, or *shudder* that she IS aware of them, because they’re, y’know, TRUE and ACCURATE, and she sees nothing wrong with the material, is perfectly comfortable with it, and frankly just can’t understand what all the uproar is about.

I admit I didn’t know a whole heck of a lot about Da Guv before all this, but what little I did know I liked; excepting a few decisions on which she arguably screwed the pooch, her heart during her tenure as Governor has seemed for the most part to be in the right place, Constitutionally-speaking. After getting off on exactly the wrong foot initially, her flat refusal later to exercise dictatorial power over her constituents during the FauxVid psyop/trial run, further fleshed out by some admirably thoughtful, high-minded, and rare-as-hen’s-teeth perorations explicating the specific limits on what she was and was not empowered to do as the Governor of a sovereign State under the US Constitution, I found extremely appealing.

Tough; capable; feisty; determined; far and away the most breathtakingly attractive politician (in the strictly physical sense, which I know I’m not allowed to either notice or mention right out loud, but hey, fuck all y’all) in America today, male or female—Kristi Noem seemed to have the Right Stuff, veritable bucketloads of it. By every indication well on the way to solid renown, respect, and success as a national political figure, all she really had to do was simply not fuck up. Sadly, after this needless, self-inflicted kill shot, I preminisce no return to the salad days for poor Mrs Noem. Stick a fork in her, she is well and truly done. If the woman is as reckless, clueless, weird, and just plain D-M-U-B dumb as this spectacular crash ’n’ burn suggests, could be we dodged a bullet with her. Which makes the Great Noem Flameout of ’24 an occasion not for sadness over what might have been, but for a heavy sigh of relief for being spared in the nick of time.

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The nature of the beast: INSANE, with a side order of big brass balls

Bayou Peter has a GREAT story demonstrating what crazy-ass adrenaline junkies all pilots truly are.

65 years ago today on April 24, 1959, legend has it that an aviation stunt so bizarre it defies belief actually took place in the Mackinaw Straits between the upper and lower peninsulas of Michigan.

A U.S. Air Force RB-47E Stratojet reconnaissance aircraft piloted by Strategic Air Command pilot Capt. John Stanley Lappo was said to have flown underneath the Mackinaw Bridge where Lake Michigan and Lake Huron converge. As history records the event, no photos of the aircraft flying under the bridge exist, but the stunt, if it actually did happen, created enough buzz that a legend was born.

According to the thisdayinaviation.com website and the Wikipedia page for the Mackinaw Bridge, fitting a Boeing RB-47E Stratojet under the Mighty Mac was a tight squeeze with little margin for error. The highest place between the water surface in the Mackinaw Strait and the bottom of the Mackinaw Bridge is 155-feet at the center. The tail of an RB-47E stands 27-feet, 11 inches off the ground. If you do the math, that leaves about 127-feet of space between the water and the bottom of the bridge to play with. Considering the RB-47E stall speed in these conditions may have been as slow as 150-190 MPH, the plane would cover that distance in altitude in just over a second or two.

As the story goes, and is told in several media outlets, Capt. Lappo was, “Reported by his navigator” to some higher authority after the bridge fly-under. The legend claims that Lappo was, “charged with violating a regulation prohibiting flying an aircraft below 500-feet”. No great aviation tale is complete without details, and the story is that Capt. Lappo was permanently removed from flight status by the Commanding General of the Eight Air Force, Lieutenant General Walter Campbell.

Wow, I mean just…WOW. I’m with Peter on this:

I can see a fighter or fighter-bomber flying under that bridge, just as has been done to other famous bridges around the world (for example, see the Tower Bridge Incident in London, England in 1968). However, the much larger, less nimble and maneuverable B-47 bomber would be very difficult indeed to fly through such a confined space. If it was done, one can only tip one’s hat to the pilot in admiration.

A-yup, that’s about the size of it. Having known quite a few pilots in my day, as well as having a better-than-average amount of stick-time in various aircraft my own self, I can confirm that the above is just exactly the kind of thrill-seeker behavior one expects from pilots, especially military ones. What ordinary folks tremble at as death-seeking daredevilry, they see as an irresistible temptation—a challenge, not an impossibility.

The Gyrines famously call themselves “heartbreakers and life-takers,” but with the Brylcreem Boys one must tack on “lawbreakers” as well, in the highest, most aspirational sense of the word; not mere petty, trivial laws those guys break, but the laws of gravity, physics, and sensible behavior in the air, among many others.

Peter wonders, “did it actually happen?” I’d be willing to bet just about anything that it did; these are fucking pilots we’re talking about here, of COURSE it did!

Update! This post just wouldn’t be complete without a photo of the sleek, lovely B47 Stratojet, from back in the halcyon days when Boeing was still making serviceable, capable aircraft.

Six turbojet engines, six man crew—a high-altitude, subsonic (barely) strategic bomber mostly used as recon aircraft, in service from 1951 until 1969. Yet another exemplification of the phrase “they just don’t make ‘em like this anymore.”

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Birth of a legend

And a culture—or sub-culture, or counter-culture.

What Do You Got? The Wild One, The Loveless and the Biker Movie
On the fourth of July weekend in 1947, a group of bikers rode into a small California town and, depending on who you believe, either had a great party or went on an orgy of destruction. This single incident – now famous as the Hollister Invasion or the Hollister Riot – created both the abiding myth of the outlaw biker and the renegade bike gang, and inspired the movie that provided the template for every other biker movie to follow.

The occasion was the first major bike rally held by the American Motorcycle Association in California since before World War Two, and while attendance was expected to be high, nobody anticipated what would really happen. Hollister – about two hundred miles south of San Francisco and inland from Monterey and Carmel – had always been friendly to bikers, hosting regular races and hill climbs on the Bolado Racetrack.

It had, according to Tom Reynolds’ Wild Ride: How Outlaw Motorcycle Myth Conquered America, “twenty-seven bars, twenty-one gas stations and only six policemen.” It had its own bike club, the Tophatters (still in existence today) – one of dozens, probably hundreds of groups of mostly ex-servicemen who got together to ride, race, drink and raise a bit of hell just before the Hell’s Angels formed a year after Hollister and took over the image of the outlaw biker forever.

Uhh, not to pick nits or anything, but having had a few good friends flying the Red & White patch over lo, these many years—enough of them to know it actually does matter to them, if no one else—technically it’s supposed to be Hells Angels, no apostrophe. Kinda undermines the author’s credibility a wee mite, I think. A bit odd too that, in this recounting of the Hollister debacle, no mention is made of the less-hyped but way worse Laconia whoopjamboreehoo in 1965. Then again, maybe nobody’s made a movie about that one yet. Speaking of Hollister and hype, though, the iconic Life magazine photo of one of the likkered-up, violent “rioters” is instructive:

As it turns out, the provocative pic was almost certainly staged by Life’s sensationalist “photojournalist” and his assistants:

The reliability of the striking photo has been debated, with some sources suggesting that the scene was overtly staged. While the photograph was taken by Barney Petersen of the San Francisco Chronicle. the Chronicle did not run it, nor any other images, in its initial two articles covering the event. The bearded individual standing in the immediate background of the photograph, Gus Deserpa, has said he is sure that the photograph was staged by Petersen, and gave the following account: “I saw two guys scraping all these bottles together, that had been lying in the street. Then they positioned a motorcycle in the middle of the pile. After a while this drunk guy comes staggering out of the bar, and they got him to sit on the motorcycle, and started to take his picture.” Deserpa claims he deliberately tried to sabotage the staging by stepping into the shot, but to no avail.

Barney Peterson’s colleague at the Chronicle, photographer Jerry Telfer, said it was implausible that Peterson would have faked the photos. Telfer said, “Barney was not the type to fake a picture. Barney was the kind of fellow who had a very keen sense of ethics, pictorial ethics as well as word ethics.”

And you can believe just as much or as little of that as you like; surely, no “journalist” would ever lie, right? RIGHT?!? Why, it’s simply UNPOSSIBLE!!!

Anyways. Onwards.

“Nobody has ever fully explained what happened in the town on Independence Day weekend in 1947,” writes Reynolds, “because the allure of the myth is far more tantalizing than whatever facts can be gleaned from eyewitnesses or news photographs. Descriptions run from just a wild party to a rural version of the Rape of Nanking.”

Hollister would inspire a film, The Wild One (1953) – the film that Marlon Brando made between A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) and On the Waterfront (1954) and arguably did more than either film to create Brando’s persona, both on and off the screen. Its basic plot – bike gang comes into conflict with squares, causes mayhem/destroys small town/inspires vigilante payback – is really just a western with wheels instead of hooves, which is why it would be so easy to copy for decades to follow, in films with titles like Dragstrip Riot, The Wild Angels, Devil’s Angels, The Rebel Rousers, Angels from Hell, She-Devils on Wheels, Satan’s Sadists, Angel Unchained and dozens more whose plots vary as much as their titles.

The Wild One begins with a warning: “This is a shocking story,” the boldface card explains over a shot locked off just above the asphalt of a country road stretching to the vanishing point. “It could never take place in most American towns – but it did in this one.”

The first time I watched The Wild One as a teenager I constantly wondered when I’d seen it before; every plot point and conflict worn itself into the pop culture collective memory of the “biker picture” I shared with everyone else: the combination of curiosity, excitement and revulsion when the locals encounter Johnny Strabler (Brando) and the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club; the gang’s goofy mix of childish provocation and cornball hipster slang; the belligerent square john local businessman who insists they have to take matters into their own hands and teach these hoodlums a lesson.

Even Johnny’s signature line, among the most famous Brando ever uttered in his career (“Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against?” “What do you got?“) had been rendered as rote as pantomime by the time I finally saw it on screen and in context.

The Wild One – directed by László Benedek (Song of Russia, Death of a Salesman), produced by Stanley Kramer and based on “Cyclists’ Raid”, a short story by Frank Rooney published in Harper’s magazine – strains for relevance. Even the costume Lee Marvin wears as Chino, leader of rival bike gang The Beetles, is based on “Wino Willie” Forkner, founder of the Boozefighters, the outlaw gang that was blamed for most of the trouble in Hollister.

(Forkner was a consultant on The Wild One but quit in protest at the portrayal of bikers. The Boozefighters are still around, with chapters all over the world.)

Interestingly enough, and to my bemused astonishment when I learned of it, there’s a Boozefighters MC chapter in CLT, of all locales. I met a young fella in a Boozefighters cutoff at one of our Double Door shows, asked him about it, and saw him at several more of our shows after. Friendly, personable guy, in fact, accounting for my initial astonishment, since the original Boozefighters MC members (Wino Willie most definitely included) were notoriously some of the toughest, rowdiest, most flat-out dangerous one-percenters ever to fly a patch. Even first- and second-generation HA patch holders gave them respect, when they weren’t just avoiding them outright.

Despite my snarky dig at the author’s credibility before, it’s nonetheless a decent enough piece all in all. Certainly, his point about most of the biker-exploitation flicks being sub-par is not something I’ll dispute; I’ve seen all the ones he writes about and many more of the genre besides, and if you’re not into gazing at rip-snorting custom Harleys tearing around the landscape there ain’t much in ‘em for your average Joe Cager to enjoy.

One thing that does puzzle me a mite: contra his sniffy disdain for the biker movies of the 50s and 60s, McGinnis goes on to more-or-less gush at great length about The Loveless, characterizing it as a film with pretentions to High Art whose flaws prevent it from living up to its lofty cinematic ambitions. I saw it many years ago and thought it a real stinkburger myself, not even a patch on The Wild One, which I liked a lot back when I first saw it and still do now. Ultimately, though, even the presence of Willem DaFoe in his first starring role can’t quite redeem the flick for McGinnis:

As the film comes to its conclusion we’re waiting to see if the town is happening to the bikers or the bikers are happening to the town. The directors deliver just the right amount of sex and violence; by the time the smoke clears on the bodies they’ve made precisely the film a young man thought he was going to see when he paid for a ticket to The Wild Angels.

But the film hits its apex just before the cathartic explosion of gunshots and blood at the end, when the gang sit drunkenly around a table at the lounge, bragging about where they’re going and what they’re going to do. Dafoe’s Vance – with a straight face that hints at the talent he’d demonstrate repeatedly over the decades to follow – silences them all by bellowing out four words that impeccably sum up The Loveless:

We’re going nowhere. Fast.

As I recall, the friends with whom I watched The Loveless on VHS erupted in gales of laughter at DaFoe’s simultaneously wooden yet canned-hammy delivery of that line. “Bellowed”? Not in the movie I saw, it wasn’t. Mumbled, more like, or maybe grunted. DaFoe’s face shot adoringly from below as he runs the line; lit cigarette a-dangle from his lips; meticulously-coiffed pompadour afloat over his head like an angel’s halo; trying his very damnedest to look menacing and failing miserably: it was the best unintentionally-comedic performance of all time, hands down. He shoulda won an Oscar for it, assuming there’s a category for such. Happily for all concerned, Willem DaFoe overcame this embarrassing misfire, going on to become one of our finest actors ever.

In any event, The Loveless is as dull, flaccid, and aimless a movie as I ever did sit through. Too-pretty actors turning in lifeless performances; a shambolic, meandering plot arc; disjointed scenes in which the sole point seems to be striking sultry, cliched, wholly-unconvincing tough-guy poses for the camera; unidimensional, affectless, and un-relatable characters; a piss-poor excuse for a “script” bodged together by writers who obviously know no more about bikers than I do about writing screenplays; ludicrous, stilted dialogue no self-respecting real-world biker would ever be caught dead uttering, The Loveless does somehow pull off the cinematic quasi-miracle of being both overblown and underwhelming.

Any of y’all miscreants with a hankering some lazy summer evening to curl up on the couch with some popcorn, a cold beer, and a real, honest to God biker flick, just check out Hells Angels Forever instead, that’s my advice.

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