BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The self-beclownment just doesn’t come much more spectacular than this.

Tim Walz Drops a Truth Bomb That Could Sink Kamala Harris’s Campaign
In a surprising turn of events, Kamala Harris’s running mate, Tim Walz, may have just delivered the most damaging blow to her presidential campaign—and it came from an accidental moment of honesty.

It’s no secret that Kamala is trying to figure out how to simultaneously present herself as a “new way forward” without distancing herself too much from Joe Biden. The way Kamala speaks, you would think that Donald Trump is the incumbent president.

Of course Trump is not the incumbent president, but Kamala Haris is the incumbent vice president—a fact that seemed lost on her running mate during a campaign rally in Bethlehem, Pa., on Saturday, when he declared, “We can’t afford four more years of this.”

Typically, candidates running for reelection turn “four more years” into a rallying cry for their base. But when the party in power says “We can’t afford four more years of this,” it feels like an indictment of their own leadership. After all, who’s been in the White House while Americans are struggling? Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

So when Kamala’s own running mate utters that line, it sounds like a free campaign ad for Donald Trump. Trump should capitalize on this, running ads on a loop showing how inflation is soaring, grocery prices are skyrocketing, crime is surging, illegal immigration is out of control, and wars are breaking out—paired perfectly with Walz’s line, “We can’t afford four more years of this.”

Of course, for Tampon Timmeh and his fellow D卐M☭CRAT scum, the incontrovertible fact that we can’t afford “four more years” of Bribem-Harris misrule is a feature, not a bug; actually, it’s the whole damned point of the exercise. It means that their work—destroying what little remains of America That Was once and for all and replacing it with yet another floundering, flailing authoritarian kakistocracy—is all too close to being done.

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MOAR Destructo-X

As if being a cop in San Franshitsco wasn’t already humiliation enough.


Hilarious.

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SHE’s at it again, too!

Did somebody just say “at it again”? Why yes, I believe someone did.

WATCH: Megyn Kelly Completely Destroys Liberal Host on the Trump Witch-Hunt Trials in a Brilliant Legal Display During Summit in Los Angeles
Perhaps no person in America has been red-pilled as much as Megyn Kelly on President Trump as she has turned into one of his most effective advocates over the past few years. This was noticeably apparent earlier this month during a summit in California.

Kelly participated as a speaker at the All-in Summit in Los Angeles, California, which went from September 8-10. She was part of a panelist of the 10th during a segment called Besties on Stage, where she was asked multiple questions, including her thoughts on trans issues, Trump’s chances vs Kamala Harris, the corrupt lawfare against Trump, and how politicians have changed.

Things got quite spicy when the subject turned to the legal witch-hunts against Trump. The host, Jason Calacanis, not only demonstrated his ignorance of the law but also set out to condemn Trump as guilty of bogus crimes in three cases (E. Jean Carroll, the Trump Organization, and the hush money trial). Kelly, though, promptly gave him a legal education, which forced him to retract his claims despite his protestations to the contrary.

The priceless, thrilling vid:


Miz Megyn, bless her indomitable heart, nails shitlib douchebag to the fucking cross…and the crowd goes wild! Longer version at the link.

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Chinks gotta Chink

Remember back when China was known primarily for cheap, shoddy imitations of a vastly-superior genuine article? Nah, me neither.


Jeez O Pete, guys, SRSLY?!?

Via VP, who duly acknowledges: “Granted, they are still awfully cute.” Heh. Indeed.

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Oh HELL yeah!

KILL. THEM. ALL.


Ya gotta love the guy. Well, unless you’re a scum-sucking Paleosimian terrorist who just had his nuts blowed off, that is. Or a shrieking ((((JooJooJooJOOOOOO!!!)))) hating shitlib.

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Must-see video of the day week month year century

After watching this amazing smackdown I have decided that I am actually a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, and I want to have Megyn Kelly’s babies.


AHHH, YEEAAAHHHHH! Okay, I’ll cop to it: I just came in my pants, a little. Now I need a cigarette, a shot of whiskey, and a hand towel to wipe the sweat off my face.

Update! Unsurprisingly given his own personal experience with the “transgender” cult, Elon Musk seconds that emotion.

Elon Musk, who previously trolled the pop singer’s announcement, offering to give her a child and protect her cats, agreed with Kelly, calling Walz’s policies “so messed up.”

It can be recalled that Musk was tricked into supporting his son Xavier’s determination to “transition” into a woman. “It wasn’t explained to me how puberty blockers are actually sterilization drugs. I lost my son essentially,” Musk told Jordan Petersen while sharing his heartbreaking account of the consequences of puberty blockers.

This is what the Democrats want for America’s children.

Megyn Kelly is right. Screw you, Taylor Swift.

Amen to that, with great big fucking bells and a cherry on top.

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Nobody does it like the Post do

Another rockin’ good headline from those wild, whacky NYP kids.

NYC artist who paints with human blood busted with cache of ‘illegal guns’ after cops responded to drug overdose

The article itself is kinda meh, just more of the usual self-consciously “edgy” obnoxiousness from a standard-issue, Mark-1 Mod-0 NYC “artist” type, whereas the breathless “cache of illegal guns” hubba-hubba refers to about as scrawny and undernourished a so-called arsenal as you’re ever likely to point and laugh at—except for the Mossberg, a scattershot collection of cheap junk none but a hoplophobic denizen of the Big Rotten Apple would think frightening: a Mossberg 12 ga pump; a KelTec .22; a Seecamp .32; a goofy fixed-blade “fighting knife” likely purchased at a boondocks truck stop for less than a double-saw, made of steel so buttery-soft merely sheathing the stupid, gaudy thing would be more than enough to dull whatever notional edge it may (or may not) have ever had; random boxes of ammo, probably all in 5.56, 9mm, .45ACP, and/or other mismatched calibers; one of those useless kit-stilettos you gotta assemble yourself, a practical joke from the bottom end of the otherwise generally half-decent Boker product line so flippity, flappity, and all-round raggedy-assed you couldn’t pop a soap bubble with it (ask me how I know, I dares ya).

If you find that sort of horsepuckey intriguing, feel perfectly free to click on through and read the whole thing. For my money, the headline pretty much says it all.

HOW I KNOW: Okay, okay, here’s the skinny. Many moons ago, long before the Innarnuts was even a twinkle in Albert “Arnold the Pig” AlGore’s eye (in days of old/when knights were bold/and Amazon not invented), I mail-ordered two (2) assembly-required stiletto kits from Boker. I affixed the plastic decorative handles to the pot-metal frame with model-airplane cement (not included), attached the blade-actuator button in its slot according to the minimal instructions, and was appalled to learn that, when the button was pushed to bring the blade (NOTE: not even the vaguest hint of an edge on the sorry thing, and I do mean none) zipping out of the opening, the internal spring was too wimpy to eject the blade with sufficient force to click it into the “open, locked” position. Imagine my chagrin as I stood there slack-jawed, brand-new knife in hand, the stabby part (HA!) of which lolled weakly in and out of its frame, of no more use to me than a 2-pound bag of ice is to your average Eskimo…a great deal less than, actually.

Upon further experimentation, it developed that now and again I could make the blade lock into place with a few sharp, vigorous flicks of my wrist, which felt every bit as foolish to me then as it sounds today. Regardless of all the jiggery, pokery, and Afro-engineering trickery I attempted, though, the button steadfastly refused to get with the program; after several years occasionally endeavoring such bootless meat-beatery, I finally gave up and tossed the Boker into the broken and/or non-useful tool drawer in my rollaway at the H-D shop. Once my youthful innocence had been forever lost, the trusty old Gerber Gator resumed its established role as my EDC shank, and the Boker pieces o’ shite eventually wound up in the rubbish bin where they rightfully belonged. THE MORAL OF THE STORY: As personal defense weapons, the Boker switchers make perfectly adequate paperweights, doorstops, and/or letter openers.

pWNeD!

I can think of but one proper way to do this, and that’s to jack Irish’s whole post lock, stock, and barrel.

Soy Boy Posts Crap To MAGAWOMEN…. MAGA Woman responds… ( According to the comments he has since deleted his account)


 

Shitlib dude is too damned stupid—from here on out let’s just call such exceptional, special-case moronitude not merely “stupid,” but LIBERAL Stupid©, shall we?—to even know he just had his head handed to him.

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Paging David French, David French to the white courtesy phone please

Conservative Momma puts it WAY better, more forthrightly, and more engagingly than French ever has, or could.

BWAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! You go, CM!

(Via Ace)

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Contractualities

One of our pal Ms Sarcastica’s best ever. Which, yes, that really IS saying something.

Your Body’s Updated Terms of Service:
We are writing to inform you that Your Body (“you,” “yourself,” “your aging body”) has updated its terms of service, which apply to the use of all your Parts and Areas. These terms will apply only to Your Once-Useful Body and may differ from Other People’s Bodies, Which Are Still Normal.

We encourage you to review the updated Terms before you attempt any dangerous activity, such as playing with your dog or walking uphill. Our other legal policies are available in our Depressing Policy Center.

Addendum to Terms of Service

I. Food and Beverage
a. Alcohol may be consumed a maximum of three (3) nights per week, with two nights consisting of no more than one (1) beverage and one night consisting of no more than two (2) beverages. If you have one (1) beverage on a night you are supposed to have one (1) beverage, but the drink doesn’t “do anything” and you “don’t feel any different,” you are still not allowed to have a second beverage because the first one “clearly didn’t count.” If you do have two (2) beverages on a night you are supposed to only have one (1), you will have a hangover the next day. Yes, an actual hangover. Also, if you have one (1) beverage on a night you are supposed to have zero (0), you won’t get any sleep and will wake up hating the world.

b. Caffeine is one of three good things that exist. The others are love and the Fleetwood Mac album Rumours. However, like the relationship between Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, your body’s relationship to caffeine is a productive yet fraught dance. If you consume any caffeine after 1 p.m., you won’t get any sleep and will wake up hating the world. Other People’s Bodies can consume caffeine until 3 or 4 p.m. or even have an espresso after dinner. You aren’t them and never will be. Also, if you have more than two (2) cups in a day, you will become convinced that there must be some kind of “demon” inside your chest and you will never be normal again.

c. Despite your many lobbying efforts, Pretzels are still not considered their own food group and should not be treated as such. A healthy diet consists of diverse foods from those food groups recognized by the scientific community. Capeesh?

II. Exercise
a. Your Body and Mind require 4–6 days of exercise per week, unless you want to go to sleep hating the world. Unfortunately, every kind of exercise that you enjoy causes Your Body’s back, knees, or ankles to enter “The Zone of Desolation.”

b. If your physical pain ever starts to feel depressing, it could help to look on the bright side: if you were a hunter-gatherer, you’d probably be dead by now.

Plenty more where that came from, every word of it true and accurate, every word of it eminently worth checking out.

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Open mouth, insert…foot, this time

Gee, Willie Brown’s dick, her own foot, gallons of cheap vodka daily—as my Grandma used to pointedly inquire whenever she heard somebody cuss (besides herself, natch): you kiss your Mama with that mouth, Kumala?

As Vice President, I have had the privilege of visiting Arlington National Cemetery several times. It is a solemn place; a place where we come together to honor American heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service of this nation.

It is not a place for politics.

And yet, as was reported this week, Donald Trump’s team chose to film a video there, resulting in an altercation with cemetery staff. Let me be clear: the former president disrespected sacred ground, all for the sake of a political stunt.

This is nothing new from Donald Trump. This is a man who has called our fallen service members “suckers” and “losers” and disparaged Medal of Honor recipients. 

A man who, during a previous visit to the cemetery, reportedly said of fallen service members, “I don’t get it. What was in it for them?”

This is a man who is unable to comprehend anything other than service to himself. 

If there is one thing on which we as Americans can all agree, it is that our veterans, military families, and service members should be honored, never disparaged, and treated with nothing less than our highest respect and gratitude. 

And it is my belief that someone who cannot meet this simple, sacred duty should never again stand behind the seal of the President of the United States of America.

I will always honor the service and sacrifice of all of America’s fallen heroes, who made the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of our beloved nation and our cherished freedoms. I mourn them and salute them. And I will never politicize them.

That’s the entirety of Kumala’s ill-advised “Show more” Tweet, to which the response has been…erm, unfortunate, for her at any rate. For starters:


OW, that smarts! And then there’s this:

Oh, Kamala, what have you done? In a move that was scummy even for her, Kamala Harris had the audacity to attack Donald Trump for appearing at the memorial for service members who died at Abbey Gate in Afghanistan. And, by extension, she attacked the Gold Star families who invited him to be there.

Keep in mind the only reason they’re Gold Star families is because Kamala Harris and Joe Biden botched the withdrawal from Afghanistan and got their loved ones killed.

Now those families are responding:

And how. Follows, scads upon scads of stinging video denunciation from said families, which is a joy and a wonder to behold. For us, that is, not for her; not a-tall, in fact. No wonder the stupid, drunk-ass ho’ is so reluctant to be interviewed, debate the opposition candidate (or anybody else) honestly and fairly, or otherwise speak in public any more than she absolutely, positively must. My God, the woman makes even Dotard Jaux Bribem look like a gentleman and a scholar, which is really saying something.

One last excellent riposte I almost forgot to include:


I repeat: OW! Also: YIKES!!

Update! Senator Tom Cotton gets the last truly epic word.

You might think that would be the end of the story. After all, how do you keep pushing a false story that has even been rebuked by the very families involved who lost their loved ones due to Harris’ incompetence? The press took that as a challenge, though, and when Welker faced off against Cotton on Sunday morning, she told an inexcusable lie as she desperately tried to defend the vice president.

WELKER: The bottom line, I guess, though, senator, is it ever appropriate to make campaign content at military grave sites?

COTTON: He didn’t take campaign photos there. These families, Gold Star families, whose children died due to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’s incompetence, invited him to the cemetery, and they asked him to take those photos because as they told me yesterday when I spoke to Kelly Barnett and Darren Hoover, the parents of Taylor Hoover, who has Arkansas ties, they don’t get to go to the beach on Labor Day. They don’t get to have BBQs. This is their one chance to have a memory of their children to commemorate their service and to honor their sacrifice. They wanted President Trump there, they wanted to take those photos.

You know who those families also invited? Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. Where were they? Joe Biden was sitting at a beach. Kamala Harris was sitting at her mansion in Washington, DC. She was four miles away. Ten minutes. She could’ve gone to the cemetery and honor the sacrifice of those young men and women, but she hasn’t. She never has spoken to them or taken a meeting with them.

WELKER: Well, they did meet with them during the dignified transfer. They were with them during the dignified transfer.

COTTON: It is because of her and Joe Biden’s incompetence that those 13 Americans were killed in Afghanistan.

Cotton’s takedown of Welker’s talking points is perfect, not because of some impressive political prowess, but because it’s the truth. The claim that Trump made “campaign content” at Arlington National Cemetery is simply false. None of the pictures with the family have been used in ads or placed in a political context by the Trump campaign. He was there at the behest of the Gold Star families. Given their children died defending this country, I think they have a right to snap a few pictures if they’d like.

This game has long been played (by the) left and the federal bureaucracy. When John McCain took some video of him walking among the gravestones, the press attacked him for it. When Barack Obama and Joe Biden did the same thing (including Biden being pictured in Section 60), no one said a word. No (D)NC official came running out telling them to put the cameras away while accusing them of breaking the rules. Let a Republican show up to honor the fallen though, and suddenly it’s a scandal. The entire thing is so transparent.

What Welker did at the end of that exchange is just inexcusable, though. Cotton specifically said Harris has never spoken to or met with the Abbey Gate Gold Star families, and the anchor jumps in to insist “they” (as in both Biden and Harris) were at the dignified transfer. Kamala Harris was not there, and every attempt by the families to connect with her since has been rebuffed. Biden was there, but he infamously checked his watch multiple times.

The rush by these hack journalists to defend Harris has them now telling outright lies on national television.

Ummm…now, Bonch? Been a good bit longer than that, I’m afraid.

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Tale of rock ‘n’ roll woe

Imagine Dragons iz have a Sadz.

The rest of the story:

LAS VEGAS, NV — Members of the pop rock band Imagine Dragons were reportedly crestfallen to find out that yet another of their requests to have a politician use their songs at campaign rallies had been denied.

The rejection continues the band’s 16-year-long streak of not having their music be good enough to get chosen as rally crowd-pleasers.

“Gimme a break!” complained lead singer Dan Reynolds. “You have got to be absolutely kidding me! What was it that Trump was using way back when? ‘YMCA?’ We’re so much cooler than those guys. ‘Believer’ would totally bang at a political rally. What’s wrong with these people?”

While admitting that the band does have fans somewhere, staffers from both the Trump/Vance and Harris/Walz campaigns confirmed that its music “just isn’t the vibe we’re going for.”

“It’s not like I hate them, but I’m just kinda more into Maroon 5 and T-Swizzle,” explained Harris campaign spokesperson Gayle Quimbly. “I like stuff that’s a bit more affirming, if you know what I mean. I like Coldplay.”

“Are they American?” asked Joe Linwood, a Trump staffer. “Or even popular? I don’t know…I guess we could use them at some point. Maybe if there weren’t any other bands still living.”

At publishing time, Imagine Dragons was disappointed yet again, after Jackson, Indiana mayoral candidate Josh Atkins rejected the band’s offer to use their music for his rallies, too.

Aw, poor fellers. Ya gotta hate it for ‘em.

Update! Man alive, the Tune Damage embed for this one is so blindingly obvious I can’t believe I almost let it get by me like this.

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SF officials cut off noses

Successfully spite own faces.

San Francisco officials weigh in on departure of Elon Musk’s X headquarters: ‘Good riddance’
X owner Elon Musk’s plan to move the social media platform’s headquarters out of San Francisco has some city officials eager to bid farewell to the billionaire’s business.

“I share the perspective that most San Franciscans have, which is good riddance,” city attorney David Chiu told The New York Times.

The outlet noted that San Francisco Mayor London Breed said she had met with Musk “several months ago” but that she didn’t extend offers aimed at keeping X in the city, saying, “I’m not going to beg anybody.”

The report comes after Musk announced last month that he will move the company’s headquarters to Texas in response to a new law enacted by the state of California that prohibits schools from notifying parents if their children want to change their gender identity.

Musk said at the time that X’s headquarters would move to Austin, Texas, while he also announced that SpaceX would relocate its headquarters from Hawthorne, California, to Starbase, Texas.

He cited the gender identity law as being “the final straw” and attributed the move to “this law and the many others that preceded it, attacking both families and companies.”

Shortly after Musk announced in July that X would move out of San Francisco, he mentioned issues with the “crazy gross receipts city tax” making it “impossible for financial companies to operate in San Francisco.”

“That’s why Stripe, Block (CashApp), VISA and many others were forced out of San Francisco, as ‘gross receipts’ came to be defined as all transactions processed by a company, even if NOT revenue. That meant companies processing payments either had to leave SF or die,” Musk said last month. “Even if the severe crime problem in SF were to be solved tomorrow, X could not remain in SF and launch payments, as it would immediately fail.”

Will the last sane person to flee what was once one of the most lovely, eminently livable cities in all the world please turn off the lights? Thank you.

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