Brilliant! – Page 79

Fight the Power!

Posted on March 12, 2021March 12, 2021 by Mike

Pegging away at the insidious Eye in the Sky.

Kinda small and fuzzy-looking, I know. Hopefully you greybeards will be able to read it okay, but for anyone whose eyes just can’t get that squinty, here’s what it says:

***Attention Wayne Hills Residents***

Please stop throwing beer bottles at the drones. They are property of Portsmouth Police Department and they run surveillance on the property for your protection. We repeat, STOP KNOCKING DOWN OUR ANTI-DRUG ACTIVITY DRONES!

Heh. Yeh, yeh, yeh; suck it, espionage-boy.

However “too little, too late” in coming it may be, as far as I’m concerned there can never be a bad time to start cocking the snook at the surveillance/police state Authority, any way one can come up with to do it. These two are sterling examples of that good old red-blooded American FUCK YOU! spirit—the spirit of for-real resistance, a thing we don’t see anywhere close to enough of these dark days—and the CF chapeau is humbly doffed to ’em for this inspiring display of it. Verily, this anonymous couple is an example to us all.

Plus, as Glasser says in his caption: beer bottles are cheaper than shotgun shells.

“The Ultimate Party Animal”

Posted on March 10, 2021March 12, 2021 by Mike

I love this story so much it hurts. I mean, physically hurts.

Who is Cocaine Bear? Kentucky legend is being made into a movie directed by Elizabeth Banks

See what I mean? Right out of the gate, you just know it’s going to be good.

Though it died in Georgia, the real-life cocaine bear gained notoriety in death and has become a legend of the kind that only Kentucky could produce.

“The real-life cocaine bear.” Pardon me while I savor the flavor of a phrase I never for a moment dreamed I would ever get the opportunity to type.

The bear was the victim of a fatal overdose that occurred when it ate a cache of cocaine that Andrew Thornton, a former Lexington narcotics officer turned drug smuggler, threw out over North Georgia.

Thornton was carrying $15 million in cocaine when he died parachuting out of a plane over Knoxville in September 1985. That saga is chronicled in Sally Denton’s 1989 book, “The Bluegrass Conspiracy.”

Tally so far: a drug cop gone bent. Death by skydiving. Gunny sacks of go-powder scattered across hill and dale. A fiending ursine who tragically succumbs to the killing combination of curiosity, incaution, and overindulgence, leading to posthumous fame and glory as a beloved wildlife icon.

Most anybody would find the story so far absorbing enough to establish it, as described by the author of the above report, as a bona fide saga. I can’t imagine any reasonable soul feeling shortchanged if it ended right there.

Incredibly, though, that was only the beginning.

The 175-pound bear’s body was found several months after Thornton’s and preserved with taxidermy. It was passed among various owners until it eventually was acquired by the operators of Lexington-based retailer Kentucky for Kentucky.

A kooky television ad featuring the bear, which has been dubbed Pablo Escobear, made headlines five years ago.

And Escobear is still enjoying fame.

Pablo Escobear. Heh. I dunno, I think I still prefer Cocaine Bear. Hold onto your hats, though; this epic tale is just getting off the ground.

Last month, Kentucky for Kentucky debuted a new mug design featuring the bear’s image. It reads, “Bluegrass Conspiracy’s Cocaine Bear The Ultimate Party Animal.”

The “Cocaine Bear” movie, written by Jimmy Warden, will be produced by Phil Lord and Chris Miller along with Banks and Max Handelman’s Brownstone Productions, Deadline reported.

Banks, Lord and Miller teamed up previously on “The Lego Movie” series. Banks most recently directed the 2019 “Charlie’s Angels” film.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, filming for “Cocaine Bear” could begin this summer.

Universal is backing the flick, in one of the most astute moves seen out of faltering Follywood in recent memory. Reading the above, one marvels that a movie hasn’t already been made; I mean c’mon man! Whatever might the movers and shakers in the world of feature film be thinking, letting a sure-fire blockbuster like this skate right by unnoticed for so long? But hey, late is better than never, I guess.

So does this report provide a pic of Cocaine Bear’s preserved corpus enjoying its enshrinement at Lexington’s Kentucky Fun Mall, you ask?

Ohhh, you just better bet it does.

I repeat: EPIC. All hail thee, dear Cocaine Bear! Forever may your memory be treasured. And may the cinematic chronicle of your unjust fate do truly boffo box office.

(Via Ed Driscoll)

Beer milkshake!

Posted on March 10, 2021March 10, 2021 by Mike

In the comments to last night’s Marcia Ball post, kennycan says:

Actually, now that I looked it up, it turns out the first video Mike posted is actually a Dr. John (Mac Rebennack) written song.

I didn’t know that myself, but it seems likely enough. Point is, that put me in mind of a truly wonderful movie from 1982: Cannery Row, one of my personal all-timers. The movie tanked commercially and got at best a lukewarm critical reception—a combination offering the most condemnatory statement imaginable regarding the abysmal depths to which American taste and discernment in cinematic entertainment have plummeted.

The movie was a sort of cinematic mashup of two John Steinbeck tomes, Cannery Row and its sequel Sweet Thursday, with a stellar cast that included Nick Nolte, Debra Winger, Frank McRae, and M Emmett Walsh, among others. John Huston lent his dulcet, honey-voiced tones as narrator, and the soundtrack was muchly enlivened by the presence of…you guessed it…Dr John the Night Tripper.

Amusing coinkydink: the above music is a frenetic slice of boogie-woogie heaven titled Mac’s Boogie, composed and performed by…you guessed it…Mac Rebennack, a/k/a Dr John. In the film’s big party scene, Rebennack’s masterful piano work is cinematically portrayed by M Emmett Walsh’s character, whose name just happens to be…you guessed it…”Mac.” For reasons I won’t pretend to comprehend, nobody ever released a Cannery Row soundtrack album, despite the movie being liberally strewn with rich buttery musical goodness throughout. Mac’s Boogie is available elsewhere, thankfully.

Interesting trivia item:

Raquel Welch was originally cast as Suzy. She was fired after five days of filming. She allegedly took too long to get ready each day. Welch then sued the MGM studio for wrongful termination and in the mid-1980s won getting a multi-million dollar settlement. Turner Entertainment had to do the pay-out as by that time they were the owners of MGM.

Do please understand that I love me some Raquel, really I do. But I cannot for the life of me imagine her in the role of Suzy DeSoto. Winger was note-perfect for it, inhabiting the character as naturally her own skin. Whatever her appeal—admittedly, she has it in buckets—Raquel would have been just sinfully wrong.

Ah well, enough of all that. If you like smash-bang shoot-em-ups; interminible car chases and/or fight scenes; a surfeit of explosions; gangsta-rap glorification; blood ‘n’ gore galore; fart jokes and other juvenilia; zombies, monsters, and/or comic-book superheroes; or great big titties bouncing around in the open air, then I’m afraid Cannery Row is probably not going to be your cup of tea. If, on the other hand, you lean more towards a fine story well-told; lovely cinematography; an excellent score; a light, breezy overall tone with some truly funny bits; and a knockout punch of a plot twist at the end that, trust me, you will NOT see coming—well, you can’t do much better than this overlooked, underrated gem of a movie.

If you see this movie and don’t care for it, don’t tell me. I wouldn’t want such a disgraceful revelation compelling me to adjust my estimation of anybody here; I’d prefer to just remain in the dark about your appalling lack of character, thanksveddymuch. Heck, Nolte’s facial expression in the scene referred to in my post title is worth the price of admission all by itself.

How you carry on!

Posted on March 8, 2021March 9, 2021 by Mike

In honor of International Women’s Day: something so hot it sizzles, from my idea of what a real woman really is: Texiz-born, Loozyanner-raised Austin legend Long Tall Marcia Ball.

Marcia’s slashing keyboard attack, all with that leg casually swinging to the beat, is plenty enough to make this tune soar. But (surprise surprise!) it’s the guitar solo that really sends me, for a reason none but a fellow picker will understand. Watch carefully: the guitarist (a fella yclept James Hinkle, no slacker his own self where o-fficial Texas Legend™ status is concerned) goes twice around with the solo, as everybody including he himself would expect. Then Marcia unexpectedly lays back to let him take a third go. As you’ll notice, he’d already gone back to playing rhythm for a few bars before realizing the boss-lady, rather than going into the next verse, had decided to give him his head—on live TV, no less.

In obvious flustercation, James dithers and mumbles uncomfortably for a cpl-three bars before regaining his equilibrium to light back into the festivities with a real vengeance, uncorking what turns out to be far and away the highlight of the evening. The ACL audience, bless their wise and experienced hearts, reacts to the improv-a-ganza they had just witnessed with raucous delight, whereupon Marcia grins hugely and salutes Hinkle’s triumph with a shot from the ol’ finger gun.

Oh, this hyar is definitely A Moment alright—one that every professional player lives and breathes for. In fact, it’s exactly the kind of indescribable feeling that drives those lucky enough to experience it to commit the completely unnatural act of climbing onto a stage in the first place and keeps us coming back again and again, looking for more of the same. You don’t get it all that often, unless maybe you’re Stevie Ray Vaughan or some other one-in-a-million talent. But I promise you with all my heart and soul, people: you feel that thrill just one time and you will be hooked forever. It is NOT the kind of thing you ever get over, at least for some of us.

Nope, you’ll cheerfully spend the rest of your life chasing another taste of that glorious high, thereby condemning yourself to a life of poverty and bitter travail, in most cases, without a trace of regret. In fact, I remember years ago hearing an interview with Dave Edmunds wherein he said pretty much the same thing with only slightly different wording, probably because of him being a Welshman and all. I wish I could dig that interview up now that I’ve gone and reminded myself of it, but I’m confident there’s no chance of that and I ain’t gonna bother looking.

Anyways, y’all enjoy yourselves an encore jolt of Marcia & Krewe, doing another rollicking little number whose lyrics I especially like.

And to think there are those who insist girls can’t rock. Clearly the poor dears don’t know Marcia Ball well enough, thus are more to be pitied than censured.

Update! I should maybe point this out before someone waxes all indignant in the comments over it: yes, I was already aware of the Commie origins of International Women’s Day. I was only using that as an excuse for putting Marcia up, that’s all. Honestly, I’m amazed I never had her up here before now, and can offer no excuse for that unforgivable lapse.

Poohsecution

Posted on March 6, 2021March 6, 2021 by Mike

You’re gonna get a fair trial, followed by a first-class hanging.

A solemn silence turned collective gasp in the District of Columbia Woke Circuit courtroom as two bailiffs entered the door beside the jury box with the small cream-colored bear suspended between them, his stumpy hind legs wheeling fruitlessly to seek purchase in the unavailing air. The Queen of Hearts, presiding, banged her gavel as the little bear was seated at the table for the defense beside another rather small, darkish, furtive figure.

The Queen of Hearts peered over her half-glasses at the defendant and snarled, “State your full name and residence.”

“Winnie-the-Pooh,” the defendant said. “From the Hundred Acre Wood.”

“What is your personal pronoun?”

The bear looked perplexed. “Oh, bother,” he said. “Nobody I know has such a thing?”

“Of course they do,” the Queen said.

“Perhaps it’s ‘the’,” the bear said.

“That is a definite article, not a pronoun!” the Queen barked. “Are you an imbecile?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s ‘dear’”—

“That’s enough out of you!” the Queen said. “And let’s have no more impertinence! Do you have counsel?”

“Why, yes,” the bear said. “Mr. Kafka, who is seated beside me.”

“You are mistaken,” the Queen said. “That is a cockroach seated beside you, and the court is displeased to see it. Bailiff, please remove that disgusting cockroach from my court.”

Mr. Kafka, gesticulating in protest with all six arms and legs, had to be dragged out.

“First witness!” the Queen screeched. “Counsel for the prosecution….”

“Calling Uncle Remus,” said the prosecutor, Andrew Weissmann, famous for his exploits in the Enron case and with The Mueller Team in the old Russia collusion days.

An elderly gentleman-of-color with white beard and a kindly face limped forward and took the witness stand.

“Do you know this bear?” Weissmann asked.

“I knows a Brer B’ar,” Uncle Remus said. “But he a black b’ar. Dishyere one a white b’ar.”

“Exactly!” Weissmann said. “Dismissed.”

“Dat all?” Uncle Remus asked.

“It’s plenty,” Weissmann retorted and smirked at the jury, composed of members from the United Federation of Teachers, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and Antifa, who all nodded amongst themselves.

“A white bear!” Weissmann repeated for emphasis, shaking his head. “And not a polar bear, either. A white bear. From England. Think about it…!”

The jurors emitted growls of opprobrium.

Alas for poor Pooh; like so many unassuming, innocuous Normals out there, he never knew what hit him. Kafka himself would be paralyzed with stupefied disbelief at how Kafkaesque the world has become.

Ulterior motive

Posted on March 5, 2021March 5, 2021 by Mike

See, I KNEW there had to be another reason.

Texas Removes Mask Mandate To Scare All The Californians Away
AUSTIN, TX—Governor Greg Abbott of Texas has just lifted the mask mandate and is allowing business to return to 100% capacity. The Governor explains that in these trying times, extreme measures must be taken to stop the spread of Californians into Texas and to scare them off from ever wanting to return.

“The last thing we need is a bunch of sissies from California moving to our beautiful state of Texas and screwing everything up and turning the state blue!” said Governor Abbott during a Lubbock Chamber of Commerce event. “Too many Californians have entered our state. Too many ridiculous liberal ideas have already been proposed. This must end. It’s time to open Texas 100%.”

Governor Abbott continued, “We believe that by removing the mask requirement that all of the Californians will flee in terror, restoring our state to its former glory. As soon as they see the joy and hear the laughter of our citizens returning to normal life, they’ll be sure to pack up and leave at once.”

A wonderful idea, I think. Lord knows SOMETHING needs to be done, before it’s too late. Austin is already lost, and I have my doubts about Houston.

Back atcha!

Posted on March 4, 2021March 4, 2021 by Mike

Your sidesplitter of the week.

Readers are probably aware that Gab, the popular social media platform, was hacked last week. Allegedly its entire database was copied, although the encrypted details it contained (user passwords, etc.) have apparently not been penetrated. The hackers, a group calling themselves Distributed Denial of Secrets (previously labeled as a “criminal hacker group” by the Department of Homeland Security), appear to have timed releasing the news to coincide with the CPAC conservative political conference last weekend. They announced triumphantly that they would make the entire database available to “researchers”, to identify “far-right-wing extremists” who use Gab, and all the rest of the usual leftist nonsense.

Unsurprisingly, DDoS lied – or were, at least, “economical with the truth”, as Winston Churchill would have said. They (or someone at least associated with their hacking efforts) appear(s) to have attempted to extort about US $500,000 in Bitcoin from Gab head honcho Andrew Torba, in exchange for not releasing the database. They also appear to have used criminal hacking techniques to gain access to the database, not mere “innocent” tools and tricks. I’m hazy on the latter, not being an expert, but apparently more will come out in the wash. Even stranger, they’ve stated that they will not publicly release the entire Gab database, on the grounds of privacy. Seems strange for them to be concerned about “privacy” after ignoring it by criminally hacking the database in the first place!

What’s worse from their point of view is that Andrew Torba didn’t take their nonsense lying down:

Torba has condemned threats of violence against them (or against anyone, for that matter), but some of his fans are taking matters into their own hands. They’re tracking down everyone involved and publishing online as much information about them as they can find. Personally, I can’t help but regard that as entirely appropriate. To paraphrase a Biblical theme, “Do not hack, lest ye be hacked yourselves”!

The term “weaponized autism” has been used to describe 4Chan and its enthusiastic tech geeks. Gab appears to have more than a few of its own. They’ve been digging up all sorts of information about the Distributed Denial of Secrets crowd, some of which is now online at https://yourdaddyjoey.com/Emma-Best/. Here’s what one of their number had to say (click the screenshot below to be taken to the original social media post, and read the responses).

And here’s where the hilarity really gets its boots on and starts stompin’, Nancy Sinatra-style.

DDoS certainly seems to be a weird bunch, by anyone’s standards. Here, for example is “Emma Best”.

This terrifying freak has a “husband,” apparently, and Hubby doesn’t seem to much appreciate having somebody turn the fucking tables on his gruesome “wife.”

Awwwwww. Say it with me one mo’ time ag’in: WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Also: lolgetfucked

As the post acknowledges, Gab (and Andrew Torba) have explicitly disclaimed violence and doxing – but the DDoS crowd doesn’t appear to accept that. Instead, they seem to believe it’s fine for them to hack others, but not nearly so fine for others to employ similar techniques against them. What can I say except, “Boo hoo”?

Oh, I have a bit more to say than just that. For openers: IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME. The squeamishness on the side of Right about using Lefty fascists’ own methods against them, of “sinking to their level,” becoming “as bad as they are,” &c needs to cease, and I mean yesterday. Many on the Right have insisted on “taking the high road” for years now, which has gotten them nothing other than their asses kicked up between their shoulder blades. Imagine that: down and dirty gutter brawls aren’t won by sticking to Marquess of Queensberry rules. Turns out that sniffing in haughty disdain when one’s opponent proves himself so gauche as to pull a knife, in unseemly breach of all established standards of gentlemanly combat, will only get one cut to ribbons.

Our reverence for civilized conduct, honor, and fair play has become a means of attack by the Left, and a damned effective one it has become. That shouldn’t come as a surprise, though. Evil’s sole raison d’etre is to corrupt, to defile, to degrade. It doesn’t prevail through revelation, but through obfuscation. It doesn’t overcome, it undermines. Evil has always sought to turn strength into weakness, resolution into indecision, clarity into confusion.

So henceforth, every time I see some fascist freak whimpering over someone doxxing his ass in retaliation for an assault on One Of Us, I will NOT feel the slightest dismay or disgust. Nor will you be seeing any tut-tutting in sympathy from me. This websty will offer neither apology for the “offense” nor condemnation of the agent of our vengeance. Whenever some Lefty trash gets his ass doxxed—or hacked, or SWATted, or beaten about the head and shoulders with a stout stick until he quacks like a duck, even—be assured that somewhere, I’ll be standing up and cheering. With a smile on my face and a song in my heart, no less.

The Left enjoys several tremendous advantages in this struggle:

Absolute certainty that they will be victorious
Unshakable belief in the righteousness of their cause, their right and competence to rule, and their own intellectual and moral superiority over those they intend to subjugate and oppress
No reluctance to engage their enemies decisively; perfect clarity about their war aims and goals
A no-holds-barred, no-such-thing-as-a-fair-fight, rules-are-for-saps attitude towards all aspects of the war, from weaponry to tactics to how the losers will be dealt with

Meanwhile, Team Liberty dithers, waffles, and rationalizes in preference to straightforwardly acknowledging the ugly truth about The Enemy’s true nature, intentions, determination, and capabilities. In part, this is actually laudable in a way, since this attitude stems from a sense of propriety, decency, and fundamental humanity not to be found on the Left.

Which means that, laudable or not, what it also is is self-defeating—a serious opening-bell handicap which guarantees that, when the bell closing out the final round is rung, Team Liberty will have lost the fight. The sad fact that humanity, decency, and propriety are just more things the Left perceives not as admirable qualities but as additional weaknesses that can be used as weapons against us.

One of Friedrich Nietzsche’s most well-known quotes is this one:

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Maybe so, maybe so. Philosophizing aside, slaying the collectivist/authoritarian monster is going to require some monstrous deeds of ordinarily kind-hearted and peaceable sorts who will no doubt shudder at the thought. Moreover, it is folly at best to imagine that the Left can be reasoned with, bargained with, or somehow rendered harmless and docile via some means other than unconstrained physical violence.

T’ain’t so, Mcgee. Yes, yes, all we really wanted was to be left alone. This, they will not do. Either we submit to them, or we stop them. At this late date, harsh and distasteful as otherwise decent people may find it, the only way we’ll ever free ourselves from the monster’s clutches is if we kill him.

Via Bill, who reminds one and all: Don’t start none, won’t be none. Amen, brother.

THAT’S how you do it!

Posted on February 28, 2021February 28, 2021 by Mike

A woman after my own heart.

MASK MADNESS Female shopper whips off her THONG and wears it as a Covid face mask after supermarket staff refused to serve her
THIS is the shocking moment a shopper whipped off her thong in the middle of a supermarket and donned it as a face covering after being refused service.

The viral clip shows the female customer remove her undies to put on her face after being warned she would not be served without a Covid mask on.

The bizarre incident was caught on camera at a Pick n Pay supermarket in South Africa, and has since caused quite a stir online.

The shopper was asked to put on a face covering by a security guard, but claimed she did not have one.

After threatening to remove her from the store, footage shows the woman then reach under her dress and whip off her thong to use as a makeshift mask.

Another female shopper, reportedly the same woman who went viral earlier in the week for telling supermarket staff to remove their face masks, appeared to congratulate her, saying “well done”.

Well done is right. But naturally, a horde of cowardly Karens came out of the woodwork online to wildly flap their arms and skreeee!! in hysterical condemnation of the righteous babe’s perfect improvisational flipping of the freedom bird at the panic-ninnies. This one cops the award for Most Obtuse:

“We have a serious virus and (she thinks) a G-string will save her. Come on grow up. What must your family think?”

Might want to have a wee gander at the box your own precious little face-diaper came in, Einstein. Chances are it looks something like this:

Ooops. No prize this time, you quaking lackwit, but thanks for playing our game anyway. A tip of the cap and a big, fat CF kiss a-blown to the sassy lassie who so cheekily gave us all a real-world demonstration of the USMC’s “adapt and overcome” motto, bless her clever self. If she hasn’t already auctioned the thong off on eBay for substantial remuneration, I hope like hell she does.

His span of knowledge was broader than just politics

Posted on February 18, 2021February 18, 2021 by Mike

Just another example of Limbaugh’s hateful racism, I guess.

Ladies and gentlemen, I was 16; I was just starting to work in radio when Aretha Franklin bopped on the scene. I was telling Snerdley, “Everybody’s calling her the Queen of Soul,” and there’s no doubt she was. I think that doesn’t go nearly far enough in describing Aretha Franklin, who she was and what she did, her talents and so forth. She was soul, there was no question. She defined it. Well, she and James Brown, who was the Godfather of Soul. James Brown was the Ambassador of Soul. He wasn’t just the godfather; he was the ambassador.

Her talent, her abilities, the range of music she could sing. There’s something else that I think we need to remember and kind of remain in awe of. Aretha Franklin, after having moved there, was from Detroit. There’s a little neighborhood in Detroit that an entrepreneur turned into one of the most powerful, one of the most identifiable, one of the most amazing music industry stories there has ever been. His name was Berry Gordy, and he did Motown. And there were two houses.

If you ever go to Detroit, you gotta drive by these two houses. That was Motown, where the recording studios were. In fact, the Motown artists thought that one of them was better than the other, and as time went on some of the acts only wanted to record in one of those studios because they felt that the sound was just better there, acoustics and everything else. But stop and think of it. You had the Four Tops. You had Gladys Knight & The Pips. You had The Supremes. You had Smokey Robinson. You had Diana Ross.

You had later on the Jackson Five, Marvin Gaye, the Marvelettes… (interruption) No, no. No. What was her name? City Council Detroit, yeah. Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, all in one neighborhood in Detroit, and that’s where Aretha was. She didn’t go with Motown. She went with Atlantic. She was wooed by the great Atlantic executive Ahmet Ertegun, and he signed her to Atlantic, and Gordy had all these other people.

But it’s just amazing, and that’s where Aretha Franklin came from. She stood above. It’s hard to say, but she stood above all of it. It is the quintessential American story, Aretha Franklin, and the impact she had, the reach she had, the talent and so forth. So, yeah, she was the Queen of Soul. But, to me, I mean, everywhere you turn in the media, “Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin” it seems not enough. It’s like “right-wing talk show host Rush Limbaugh.’ That’s not enough. It doesn’t get anywhere near describing what I do, does it?

No Rush, it really, really doesn’t, bless your great big heart. El Rushbo’s heartfelt gushing over Queen Aretha provides me an opportunity to present one of the best of her many stellar performances, for which I thank him.

The Blues Brothers got a pretty tepid reaction when it was first released, from those critics whose reviews weren’t just downright cruel about it. I didn’t agree then, and don’t agree now; I thought it was great. The film was full to bursting with some truly wonderful music, enhanced by Aykroyd and Belushi’s refusal to hog the spotlight for themselves. Their humility is to their eternal credit. Think of it: at the very height of their fame—which necessarily implies the egotism that accompanies it—these boys were still respectful enough, sincere enough, big enough fans, to step back and allow some of their favorite blue stars to really shine.

When you’re right, you’re right

Posted on February 18, 2021February 18, 2021 by Mike

And right they are.

Russia Blasts Biden Regime For ‘Persecution’ Of Trump Supporters, Political Dissidents
Russia calls on the United States to observe the human rights of political opponents.

The irony, it burns.

The Russian Foreign Ministry has issued a statement lambasting the United States government under Joe Biden for the “ongoing persecution campaign” taking place “against anybody at all who does not agree with the results of the latest presidential election.”

In the statement, Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova delivered a scathing assessment of the human rights situation in the United States under President Joe Biden.

Zakharova described the ongoing crackdown against Trump loyalists in the United States:

“The FBI has reportedly opened more than 400 criminal cases and applied for more than 500 search warrants and subpoenas for suspects; it has also brought charges against and detained around 200 people. Only several dozen defendants have been released on bail or placed under house arrest. The others are being subjected to harsh pressure, with members of their family and social circle being coerced into giving a ‘convenient’ testimony. Moreover, people who have not even been officially charged are losing their jobs; they are being banned from social media and publicly ostracised.”

She also questioned the “objectivity of the law enforcement agencies” involved in this campaign, noting that they were acting under orders and “in line with the narrative of the current administration who declared the events of January 6, 2021 a riot and everybody who was near the US Congress on that day all but plunderers.”

She went on to correctly note that far from being violent rioters, most of the attendees of the January 6 rally were peaceful protesters.

“In fact, the majority of those people were ordinary citizens concerned about the situation in their own country,” she said. “These were 74 million voters who voted for their president and defended their views.”

Living in Biden’s shiny new Amerikan Gulag, you might devoutly wish to be able to dispute all that. But if you’re at all honest, you can’t. Bottom line:

As the human rights situation continues to deteriorate in the United States, it is becoming apparent to the world that Trump supporters are a repressed group in Biden’s America.

A-yup. Know the old saying “the truth hurts”? Well, when you’re trapped in a rapidly disintegrating banana republic, watching a formerly powerful and prosperous nation fall into decay in the iron-fisted grip of an illegitimate, repressive junta that is openly hostile to half its own population, it damned sure does at that.

THAT’S gonna leave a mark

Posted on February 16, 2021 by Mike

A bit late in the game, perhaps. But delicious nonetheless.

CANCELLED!

Posted on February 14, 2021February 15, 2021 by Mike

Right back atcha, assholes.

First question – are we serious?

Yes, we are serious. Joe Biden ran on a campaign built on the most radical gun control platform a major party candidate has ever had, including banning the online sale of ammunition. Essentially, a plan to bankrupt our company.

— Fenix "Kulak" Ammunition (@FenixAmmunition) February 11, 2021

We don't want your money, and you shouldn't want us to have it because we're going to use it to make more ammo, sell it to the citizenry, and do everything in our power to prevent Joe Biden's administration from usurping the rights of Americans.

— Fenix "Kulak" Ammunition (@FenixAmmunition) February 11, 2021

Any similarity to the numerous recent calls from tolerant, compassionate Lefty diaper-stains for “reeducation” of Trump supporters and their children is purely intentional, and funny as hell. A small, nearly meaningless gesture, perhaps; I can’t imagine that there could be more than the tiniest handful of Biden-Harris voters willing to share the same zip code with a functional firearm, much less looking to buy ammo for one. But who cares, you gotta love it anyway.

No matter who you voted for last November, you’re probably going to be looking high and low to get ahold of any ammunition for the foreseeable future. Everyone I’ve spoken with in the firearms industry expects that demand will remain high for at least the next few months, and with Biden set to move on his gun ban plans in the next few weeks according to press secretary Jen Psaki, I think we’re going to see another surge in interest on the part of Americans; both current gun owners and those prodded off the fence by the Democrats’ attempt to curb their Second Amendment rights.

As for those gun owners, new and old, who cast their vote for Joe Biden; they may have had very good reasons in their mind, but they’re going to be living with the consequences when it comes to being able to protect themselves and their families.

As they damned well should be. After marauding bands of mostly-peaceful home-invaders have stripped them of all their worldly possessions, then set the house afire as they depart the ruins, let Bidentards one and all be roasted to a crispity, crackly crunch for all I care—trapped inside and doomed, unable to escape their grisly fate for want of any effective means of self-defense.

If it ain’t true, it oughta be

Posted on February 14, 2021February 14, 2021 by Mike

~~Trump~~ Ron DeSantis is MY President, by God.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on Wednesday did not mince words on a congested conference call with Biden and federal health authorities who are seeking to prohibit domestic travel to and from the Sunshine State. DeSantis and Biden exchanged salvos of biting barbs after the criminal president said the federal government had authority to “restrict movement” of the people.

Citing concerns over the widespread proliferation of Covid-19 variants, Biden said he might have to prohibit vehicle and air traffic until the CDC and NIH were confident that currently available vaccinations had a proven efficacy against emerging strains, such as highly transmissible anomalies from the United Kingdom, Brazil, and South Africa.

Also on the call were “Deep State” Dr. Fauci and acting CDC Director Rochelle Walensky, both of whom championed Biden’s idea and told DeSantis that surging cases in Florida threatened to undermine the federal government’s expansive efforts to mitigate spread across the country. Florida, Dr. Fauci said, was the epicenter of Covid-19 mutations, and argued that new variants accounted for between 15-35% of new cases in Florida.

Walensky argued on the call that any attempt by DeSantis to resist a federally mandated travel ban would be immoral, selfish, and possibly illegal.

Biden echoed her words, and he berated DeSantis for having left Florida’s economy open during “the dark days of Covid.” Moreover, Biden claimed he had unilateral and constitutional authority to protect the nation’s health from “rogue politicians” acting in contravention of established health guidelines.

DeSantis’s initial reply was brief and blunt: “I will not comply,” he said, and then cited the CDC’s own statistics showing a nationwide decline in active Covid-19 cases.

There’s not a single syllable uttered by DeSantis here* that I don’t violently agree with (yeah, I said violently, and I damned well meant to) and endorse with all my blackened heart and blasted soul. Most especially this last part:

DeSantis told Dr. Fauci he trusted his own state health authorities over financially incentivized federal officials.

“How much do you stand to earn from these vaccines, Dr. Fauci? And, Joe, if you continue with this course of action, I will authorize the state National Guard to protect the movement of Floridians,” DeSantis said.

“Address me as Mr. President or President Biden,” Biden said.

“I will not, and you can go fuck yourself,” DeSantis said before hanging up.

*According to this article, at any rate; I’ve just been told my a friend of mine that the story has since been debunked. I don’t know if that’s so, and I don’t care. The quote may be Fake, but it’s as Accurate as they come.

Via Bill, who is somewhat skeptical but nonetheless enthusiastic himself:

I hope, hope, hope this is true. It’s probably too good to try to fact-check, but I would try, if I knew how.

It sounds real, though, especially the imperial hauteur of the Fraud-in-Chief.

Remember when Biden thought that the worst a politician might say to him would come via a mean Trump tweet?

Well, we’re moving on to a little harsher stage now. And Crooked Joe and his entire crime family, along with his communist cadre, can all go fuck themselves.

Remember, soft secession and nullification begins with a hearty “Fuck You, Joe!”

Bingo. “Go fuck yourself, Joe” ought to be the watchwords of our age, in the hearts and on the lips of every Real American from this day forward.

Update! Just revisited the piece out of curiosity, and lo and behold, they’ve added an update:

Addendum: We are aware that various so-called fact checking agencies are disputing our account of the telephone call, claiming that the governor’s office has denied the event happened. These so-called fact checking parties are run by the Democratic Deep State. Real Raw News stands by our story and its source, and we would love to see DeSantis comment on it personally.

So would I, buddy, so would I. I doubt that’s at all likely to happen, for all sorts of perfectly good reasons. But if DeSantis should decide to speak up and stand by the story and the quotes therein, I swear I’d follow the man through the very gates of Hell, with a song in my heart and a smile on my face every step of the fucking way.

Pitbull takes a bite

Posted on February 9, 2021February 9, 2021 by Mike

An urgent wake-up call, from one who knows whereof he speaks.

Armando Christian Pérez, the renowned Grammy-winning rapper known as Pitbull, spoke out about the abuse of power in COVID-19 lockdowns. Pitbull, a first-generation Cuban American whose family escaped from Fidel Castro’s communism, claimed that Castro would be jealous of the power Democratic officials have exercised during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“My family comes from communism, they fled communism, they had everything taken away from them, everybody got murdered, everybody got killed,” Pitbull said in a video on RevoltTV. “That’s the reason me, being a first-generation Cuban American, I look at freedom and I appreciate that s***. I appreciate opportunity…That comes from the fact that when Castro took over everything, and I’m looking at what’s going here right now.”

“The only person that’s hot…is Castro,” Pitbull added. “He’s going, ‘Y’all did it with a virus? Sh**. Y’all took over the world with a virus? You’ve got to be kidding me.’”

Pitbull noted that Castro “had missiles pointed to the United States of America” but he suggested that the COVID-19 lockdowns have done more damage to America than Russia did in the Cold War.

The rapper warned about Big Tech censorship, likening it to communism. “If anybody is not a part of the narrative we gonna take it off online… which to me smells like…communism,” he said.

There’s a very good reason for that, as this courageous young liberty-lover knows all too well. A little Pitbull pedigree:

As Paul Sakka at The Blaze noted, Pitbull’s grandmother fought in the Cuban Revolution on Castro’s side only to realize that she had made a terrible mistake. Fearing the rumors about communist indoctrination camps for children, she sent her two daughters to the United States during Operation Peter Pan, a covert program that brought 14,000 Cuban children to the U.S. between 1960 and 1962. The U.S. government brought Pitbull’s mother and aunt to Florida, and Pitbull’s father would also land there after fleeing the Castro regime.

Pitbull has said he would never play a concert in Cuba so long as the communist Castros control the country. “I won’t perform in Cuba until there’s no more Castro and there’s a free Cuba,” he told The Guardian in 2011. “To me, Cuba’s the biggest prison in the world, and I would be very hypocritical were I to perform there. The people in Cuba, they know what I stand for, and there’s a lot of people in Cuba that stand for the same. But they can’t say it.”

Good for Pitbull for exercising his rapidly-vanishing right to speak out like this. Nobody fears and loathes Marxist tyranny like those who have experienced it firsthand and lived to tell the tale. Americans ignore the increasingly clamorous warning of communism’s survivors at their own dire peril.

The nullification ball gets rolling

Posted on February 8, 2021February 8, 2021 by Mike

Wheels are turning.

North Dakota Republicans Move to Wrest Control from Biden, Place Power Back with the Constitution

Whenever Real Americans are forced to rely on Republicants *spit* to do anything, Real Americans have cause to worry. Perhaps Dakota ‘Pubbies are cut from a different and sturdier cloth. We’ll see, I suppose.

As the federal government in 1798 teetered dangerously close to what James Madison considered a vast misuse of its powers under the Constitution, he authored the Virginia Resolution.

The resolution affirmed that “in case of a deliberate, palpable, and dangerous exercise of other powers, not granted by the said compact, the states who are parties thereto, have the right, and are in duty bound, to interpose for arresting the progress of the evil, and for maintaining within their respective limits, the authorities, rights and liberties appertaining to them.”

More than 220 years later, North Dakota legislators — alarmed by the deluge of executive decrees from the Biden White House — are considering legislation to push back against the flood.

House Bill 1282, introduced recently by Republican state Rep. Sebastian Ertelt, creates what legislators are calling a committee on nullification.

I can find no fault with the specifics of the bill as it currently stands:

“Upon receipt of federal legislation, regulation, or an executive order, for consideration and process, the committee shall recommend whether to nullify in its entirety a specific federal law, regulation, or executive order. In making its recommendation, the committee shall consider whether the legislation, regulation, or executive order is outside the scope of the powers delegated to the federal government in the Constitution of the United States,” the bill reads.

“The committee may review all existing federal statutes, regulations, and executive orders enacted before the effective date of this section for the purpose of determining constitutionality and shall recommend whether to nullify in its entirety a specific federal statute, regulation, or executive order,” the bill said.

If passed, the State Legislature ostensibly would decide if the edict becomes the law in North Dakota.

“If the legislative assembly approves the concurrent resolution by a simple majority to nullify a federal statute, regulation, or executive order based on constitutionality, the state and the citizens of the state may not recognize or be obligated to abide by the federal law or executive order,” the bill reads.

A companion piece of legislation, House Bill 1164, takes aims at presidential executive orders.

Daniel Horowitz takes a closer look.

This is the key to thwarting a wholesale slide into national despotism and ensuring that there are some places for Americans to go and enjoy the blessings of liberty. The question is whether leaders in those legislative chambers as well as Gov. Doug Burgum will pick up the mantle, not to mention Republicans in other states.

The list of issues covered under the bill are:

Pandemics or other health emergencies.

The regulation of natural resources, including coal and oil.

The regulation of the agriculture industry.

The use of land.

The regulation of the financial sector as it relates to environmental, social, or governance standards.

The regulation of the constitutional right to keep and bear arms.

Thus, an easy first candidate for such legislation is Biden’s recent mask mandate, which unconstitutionally prohibits humans breathing without cloths on their mouths and noses inside any public transportation, including in-state ride-shares and taxis. The CDC created an entire criminal offense for something that never passed Congress.

These bills should serve as a model for all 31 GOP-controlled legislatures, especially in the 23 states where there are also Republican governors. I hear so many conservatives acting despondent and either resigned to tyranny or calling for secession or even a civil war. But the solution implied in these bills would keep the union loosely intact while peacefully maintaining a constitutional sanctuary for those who still value constitutional freedoms. This is the best way to peacefully and gradually separate blue and red America into their respective cultural, economic, and governing choices so we can live together more agreeably as a federal union.

Seems so to me, yeah. In fact, I think it’s the only possible way of doing it peacefully. Forlorn though the hope may be, we owe it to ourselves and our posterity to try.

Let’s be very clear: The Supremacy Clause of the Constitution subordinates states to follow only laws that are pursuant to the Constitution on issues that were given over to the federal government to determine. However, if the federal government blatantly violates the Constitution, especially in a way that harms individual liberty, even Alexander Hamilton, the great supporter of a powerful national government, said that states should ignore it. “It will not follow from this doctrine that acts of the large society which are NOT PURSUANT to its constitutional powers, but which are invasions of the residuary authorities of the smaller societies, will become the supreme law of the land,” wrote Hamilton in Federalist #33. “These will be merely acts of usurpation, and will deserve to be treated as such.”

Well, if it was good enough for Hamilton, it should be good enough for states with strong Republican majorities in the legislature.

It damned sure should. Ahh, but is this nullification ball rolling only in North Dakota, you ask? By no means, says I.

“Unite the country” may be the three scariest words coming out of Washington, D.C. right now. Conform or be crushed is what they mean. Thankfully, Second Amendment sanctuary state efforts are drawing bold lines against federal encroachment.

Missouri is close to nullifying federal gun control within its borders. On Tuesday, the Missouri House overwhelmingly passed the “Second Amendment Preservation Act,” which prohibits public officers, state employees, and political subdivisions from enforcing federal acts, laws, executive orders, court orders, and other edicts that transgress the right to bear arms.

Just like so many states took their own side on policy questions involving marijuana prohibition, civil asset forfeiture, and illegal immigration, many will also follow Missouri’s lead on gun control.

In addition to Missouri, other versions of the Second Amendment Preservation Act are currently under consideration in Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Montana, Nebraska, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas, and Wyoming, to say nothing of dozens of local resolutions and ordinances. County sheriffs are doing their part as well.

Good on ’em, one and all. Hopefully this is only the beginning of a steadily burgeoning trend, the little snowball that grows into an unstoppable avalanche. As I said: we shall see. As for Phony Joe’s phony “unity”:

The “more perfect union” envisioned by the U.S. Constitution took as essential the delimiting of powers not just between the branches of the federal government, but the states and the federal government as well. How off-balance that sharing of powers has become.

Don’t expect Congress, the president, or even the Supreme Court to undo more than a century of federal overreach. It’s going to take serious disruption to return to the spirit and letter of the 10th Amendment, which rounds out the Bill of Rights to say: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.”

Enforcing that cornerstone of the Constitution must be done locally. Recent history proves this most clearly in the case of nullifying federal marijuana prohibition. Persistent non-compliance ultimately renders the feds impotent.

Stiff resistance from FederalGovCo to this encouraging trend can be expected, of any and every sort our would-be masters can conjure. Nice thing is, though, the DC despots only have so many cops, troops, and various other tyranny-enforcers at their beck and call. As muscular as the Deep State is, they may well find the American Resistance too numerous, too resolute, to be easily crushed.

At the end of the day, the outcome is likely to come down to the will of the American patriot—to his determination to throw off the strangling yoke of tyranny and live free. Which is only meet, and just. How wonderfully fitting is it that the path to restoration of liberty and Constitutionally-correct governance might run along the very ideals of decentralization and local control our Founders commended to us?

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