An idea whose time, apparently, has come

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Via KT, this little slice of sarcastic slapback is too funny.


Heh. But hey, as a Person of Color myself (ALL the colors, not just the shitlib-sanctified blacque or brown), I support this. Why not? After all, it won’t be much longer before FederalGovCo will be requiring every child be tattooed at birth anyway. Y’know, with the Mark.

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Eyrie up!

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Just got the Friday Substack up and in gear: “Everybody ready for Prohibition v2.0?” This one is about…well, I mean, y’know, DUH. And yes, believe it or not, the illegitimate Bribem junta is indeed making some disturbingly suggestive moves in that direction, using the flaccid Scamdemic response to masks, lockdowns, &c as template, inspiration, and justification. Sample:

Not just alcohol, either; the same “logic” can be applied pretty much anywhere, once lackwit bureaucreeps and elected officials feel secure enough in their assumption of Lord and Master status to go ahead and flex those big, strong muscles with confidence in their total impunity.

As I shouted at the brick wall from the very beginning of the Scamdemic catastrophe, so it still remains: this is only the beginning of it. The ratchet of tyranny, after all, turns in only one direction: it can only ever tighten, never loosen. It must therefore be wrested from the tyrant’s hands and destroyed utterly, before its victims have become so weakened and inert they simply no longer possess the strength—of body, of mind, of will—to do it.

Read it all, and gird your loins. This shit won’t stop until We The People finally stand up on our hind legs and put a stop to it.

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The Over the (Capitol) Hill gang

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Ron Hart has way too much fun making sport of our enfeebled gerontocracy.

Even though Joe Biden could throw himself a successful surprise party, he is not the only one aging out in Washington. Senators Mitch McConnell and Dianne Feinstein are on their last legs. They have too much power for their parties to let them step down. Along with Biden, they have become Weekend at Bernie’s politicians.

Propped up by their lobbyists, staff and benefactors to perpetuate their power for the benefit of those who bought and paid for them, our gerontocracy shuffles on.

Maybe I am too hard on lobbyists. We need them. Who else would pay $550,000 for Hunter Biden’s artwork? “Three Dogs Playing Poker while Smoking Crack” art is in the eye of the beholder.

It probably does not matter how mentally impaired those in Congress are (Senator John Fetterman of PA comes to mind). With votes dictated by their party leaders, D.C. is shirts and skins; everyone votes as they are told along party lines. For years now, there has been no real debate or intellectual swaying of opinions.

Yet it seems none of these folks will let go. Power is too seductive and too compelling. When I worked in Washington while attending Georgetown, folks called Washington “Hollywood for Ugly People.” I did not get the joke until troll Alan Greenspan married NBC reporter Andrea Mitchell.

Henry Kissinger said it best: “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

Let’s face it, few politicians have any other marketable skills. The difference between a prostitute and a politician? No one would walk up three flights of stairs at one in the morning to spend time with a politician.

Biden has the ability to hide his own Easter eggs, which then begs the question: who is running our government? Elected politicians or this permanent political class in Washington, D.C.? Clearly, with the actions of the DOJ, FBI, DOD and the medical/industrial complex, it is our unelected Deep State.

Forget term limits, what we need are hard and fast AGE limits for all Mordor on the Potomac ProPols. It’s no more than fair; if Americans in certain occupations other than politics can be required to retire at (usually) 70, then why shouldn’t politicians be subject to same? Say, forcible retirement at 65 and, for any who have been roosting in DC for a period of more than ten (10) years, a mandatory spend-more-time-at-home-with-your-constituents age of no more than 50.

As Insty quips: “Caligula sent a horse to the Senate. We just send part of the horse.” Myself, I think Caligula was really onto something there, although Glenn’s imputation would suit me just fine also. I mean, could it really be any worse than what we have now?

The real solution, of course, is to remove the excess of power, prestige, and bribe-money from the current seat of national government: disperse the federal bureaucracy entire out to various locations in the once-again-Sovereign States, then shrink FederalGovCo itself drastically, thereby removing the source of all temptation for the diseased, power-and-control-obsessed fucksticks who scramble to get themselves into position to succumb to it. But alas, that’s just another item on the long, long list of things that ain’t ever gonna happen, I’m afraid.

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America That Was: what happened?

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From Dream Factory to Dystopian Nightmare.

America was once the world’s dream factory. We turned imagination into reality, from curing polio to landing on the Moon to creating the internet. And we were confident that more wonders lay just over the horizon: clean and infinite energy, a cure for cancer, computers and robots as humanity’s great helpers, and space colonies. (Also, of course, flying cars.) Science fiction, from The Jetsons to Star Trek, would become fact.

But as we moved into the late 20th century, we grew cautious, even cynical, about what the future held and our ability to shape it. Too many of us saw only the threats from rapid change. The year 2023 marks the 50th anniversary of the start of the Great Downshift in technological progress and economic growth, followed by decades of economic stagnation, downsized dreams, and a popular culture fixated on catastrophe: AI that will take all our jobs if it doesn’t kill us first, nuclear war, climate chaos, plague and the zombie apocalypse. We are now at risk of another half-century of making the same mistakes and pushing a pro-progress future into the realm of impossibility.

As with almost every problem in the Western world, if you want to find the roots of what Pethokoukis calls the Great Downshift there’s but one place you need to look: cherchez le shitlib, mon frere. Sounds like another likely candidate for Mike’s Iron Laws, I believe.

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Adams, NYC, and illegal aliens: the TL;DR version

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ADAMS, on being forced to live up to his burg’s “Sanctuary City” status: YOU’RE GONNA DESTROY NEW YORK SHITTY!!!

NYC SHITLIBS, on being recently forced, over a couple of months, to deal with the merest fraction of the veritable tsunami of illegals towns like El Paso have had to cope with every single day, for decades: WAAAAAHSTOPSTOPSTOPYOU’REHURTINGMEEEEEEE

100 MILLION+ REAL AMERICANS, in response to all this weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth:


Heh. But by all means, y’all just keep right on voting D卐M☭CRAT, y’hear? All of us out here in Flyover Jesusland don’t mind the rib-cage injuries we sustain from laughing at your self-inflicted wounds, just so’s you keep the top-notch comedic entertainment coming.

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Bathhouse Barry outed

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The only surprising thing is how unsurprising it all is.

Some interesting sidenotes to Larry Sinclair’s tale of sex and drugs with Obama
Last night, Tucker Carlson released his interview with Larry Sinclair, the man who alleges that, in 1999, while in Chicago, he did cocaine with Obama (who preferred to smoke his) and then performed oral sex on Obama. This is a tale that Sinclair has told before. It’s worth noting because it reminds us of the partnership between the media and the Democrat party. There were also some interesting details about big tech and a strange death (or maybe a few strange deaths).

There were two interesting parts of the interview with which I was not familiar. The first was Sinclair’s discussion about how the media and big tech went after him. Some media outlets lied about Sinclair’s criminal history (which he’d been quite open about in the YouTube video he originally made), grossly exaggerating it, and then dismissed him as a criminal and a crackpot.

Others blacked out the story after the Obama campaign said that, if they reported on it, the campaign would blacklist them. They chose access over investigative reporting and honesty. They also chose it over national security. After all, a president with a secret life of drugs and gay sex is perfectly situated to be blackmailed, with huge national security consequences. But for the national political media, getting a black man into the White House was more important than America’s well-being and safety.

Sorry, Andrea, not quite: it was more important to get a neo-Communist, hard Left black man who, because of his fraught and decidedly sketchy history and/or personal inclinations, could be easily manipulated and controlled by the real Power in Mordor on the Potomac.

The second interesting thing was Sinclair explaining how, in late 2007, he reached out to the Obama campaign suggesting that the campaign stop telling all sorts of conflicting stories about Obama’s drug use. The campaign, he said, should just admit that Obama was still using drugs at least as late as 1999. Sinclair didn’t hear back from the campaign. Instead, he heard from Donald Young, who explained that the campaign wouldn’t acknowledge any sex or drug stories about Obama.

According to Sinclair, Young eventually told him that he was the gay choirmaster at the Reverend Wright’s church, the one where Obama sat in the pews for 20 years as Wright blasted America. He also said that he had a long-term “intimate” relationship with Obama. Not long after that, Young was murdered in his apartment. Young’s mother believes that it was to silence him (according to Sinclair).

Curious about this, I searched Young’s name on the internet and stumbled across an anti-Obama article from 2009. According to this article, Young was one of three gay men in Wright’s congregation who were executed within less than two months of each other. The local media suspected a gay killing rampage. However, the 2009 article suggests that they were killed because it’s possible that all three, not just Young, could have talked about Obama.

That’s conspiracy theory stuff, but if true, it would also answer a question I’ve always asked myself: If Obama was indeed having gay sex in Chicago, how was it that only one person talked? Can that many people really keep a secret? Well, they could if those who knew were getting knocked off. Then, it’s very likely that others would discover the virtue of silence.

Well, duh. Andrea Widburg, among many others, really ought to take a moment to reflect on just how many times in the last few years what she blithely dismisses as so-called “conspiracy theory stuff” has turned out—UNEXPECTED!™—to be perfectly true and accurate. As for Tucker, I’ve said it before and will say it again: he very much needs to keep his head on a swivel, checking his six 24-7-365, lest sooner or later, one way or another, he gets himself well and truly got.

My old friend Jesse Malin spells out where we now are in Amerika v2.0, right down to the name of his band.

Yep, we’re living in D-generation Nation for sure and certain, and there’s no way out. No easy, non-violent way, at any rate.

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Memezapoppin’!

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Welcome to this week’s installment of our Wednesday meme post, folks. Links to the “found via” sources will be attached to the specific MiQ’s (Memes in Question) whenever I can remember them, which likely won’t be too often. Only the first two memes will appear above the fold to save on bandwidth usage, since I assume not everybody who shows up at this here websty will want to see all of them. This intro will appear at the top of each week’s Memezapoppin’! post. Enjoy, funny pitcher-lovers.

AmishNoCovid

FoundingWorries

Continue reading “Memezapoppin’!“ →

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What a maroon

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The latest Bi-weekly Big Blast of Biden Boobery© is a real humdinger of a doozy of a dilly.

President Biden was accused of being disrespectful after he quickly exited the East Room of the White House before the conclusion of a Medal of Honor ceremony honoring a Vietnam War veteran on Tuesday.

Biden, 80, abruptly left the ceremony after fastening the nation’s highest military decoration around the neck of retired Army Capt. Larry Taylor, 81, before the closing benediction was read by Chaplain Brig. Gen. William Green Jr.

Military veterans slammed Biden afterward, arguing that the commander in chief showed a startling lack of respect.

Oh, did they ever. It’s a joy to behold, a bona fide laff riot.

“Pardon my French…But what a f—ing idiot. The continuous lack of respect Biden has for anyone is appalling. Hawaii, Service members, active shooter victims, the list goes on,” former Navy SEAL and podcast host Shawn Ryan tweeted after Biden’s hasty exit.

“At least he didn’t check his watch this time,” Rep. Wesley Hunt (R-Texas), an Army veteran, snarked on X, formerly known as Twitter.

He was referencing when Biden appeared to glance at his timepiece during a solemn ceremony for the 13 US troops killed in an August 2021 terror attack near the Kabul airport in Afghanistan.

Some questioned whether Biden’s sudden departure was pre-planned or another case of the doddering leader being unsure of where to go after giving public remarks.

“Do you think this was done on purpose or just is it more senile moments? I think the guy is so self-absorbed he makes blunders like this. God this man is a massive embarrassment to our nation,” Gun Owners of America State Director for Indiana Tim Harmsen mused in a tweet.

The White House did not immediately respond to The Post’s request for comment.

Yeah, I just bet not. Gonna have to break out the plus-sized broom to get this one adequately swept under the rug and forgotten. Note ye well, too, that Biden is 80 years old, and senile, decrepit, and generally unfit for the office he stole. CAPT Taylor, on the other hand, is…81, and from all appearances is a damned sight more hale, hearty, and competent than the nominal CinC. At least Taylor seemed to be aware of where he was and what he was supposed to doing there, unlike certain other grifting, grafting morons in the immediate vicinity we might name.

But who knows; let’s cut the Putative PoTUS© a little slack here. He probably faced a daunting (for him) climb of two or three low steps to get to wherever his handlers had told him he was to go next, and knew he’d need a minute or three to work up a good head of steam so’s he could have a ghost of a chance at successfully negotiating ‘em.

Oh, and about my post title…

Update! Is there more, and worse? Hey, remember who it is we’re talking about here, people.

I’m sure you all cringed when you heard White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre announce on Tuesday that in light of recent events, Joe Biden would begin masking again.

“President Biden tested negative last night for COVID-19 and tested negative again today. He’s not experiencing any symptoms,” she said during Tuesday’s press briefing. “As far as the steps that he is taking: Since the President was with the First Lady yesterday, he will be masking while indoors and around people in alignment with CDC guidance. And as — as has been the practice in the past, the President will remove his mask when sufficiently distanced from others indoors and while outside as well.”

Oh, but wait, this is COVID we’re talking about, and as the pandemic showed, many in government who were perfectly fine imposing restrictions on the masses weren’t exactly keen on following themselves.

Later that very day, Biden briefly participated in a Medal of Honor ceremony for a Vietnam veteran. He did enter the ceremony wearing a mask but pulled it off immediately before getting close to the elderly honoree. Biden then proceeded to mingle with a crowd of people with his naked face.

Biden’s hypocrisy on this is by no means surprising. On his first day in office, Biden and his entire family violated Biden’s mask mandate for federal buildings mere hours after he signed it.

At the time, his then-press secretary Jen Psaki insisted that his executive order was about sending a message to the public. “I think he was celebrating an evening of a historic day for our country. And certainly, he signed the mask mandate because it’s a way to send a message to the American public about the importance of wearing masks, how it can save tens of thousands of lives,” Psaki said.

I suspect nothing has changed.

Of course it hasn’t. Why would it, pray tell? It’s all working out exactly as TPTB intended it to all along. As Reynolds always says: I’ll believe it’s a crisis when the people who are telling me it’s a crisis start acting like it’s a crisis.

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Hey rube, AR15s suck

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The indecipherable yet ineluctable twisting and turning of the irrational hoplophobic mind.

Frequently Debunked Crackpots Claim the AR-15 is Worthless for Self-Defense
When the young paste-eaters at Michael Bloomberg’s anti-gun propaganda factory, known as the Trace, team up with the stodgy window-lickers at the Gun Violence Archive to produce a story about the utility of the AR-15 platform as a modern self-defense tool, it’s hard not to get too excited.

It’s like watching two freight trains headed toward each other on the same track. You know the results are going to be cataclysmic. None of these halfwits have ever heard a shot fired, much less one fired in anger, or especially one fired to good effect. They know less about what makes a reliable home defense weapon than I do about man-buns, skinny jeans, or avocado toast.

We have debunked the Trace and the Gun Violence Archive so often it’s getting old. The kids at the Trace masquerade as legitimate journalists when, in fact, they’re nothing more than highly paid anti-gun activists. The GVA purports to track gun crimes and maintain a list of mass shootings, but their data is collected from media, and even social media sources, and their stats are so inflated they’d have you believe a mass shooting occurs nearly every time someone draws from a holster. When the two anti-gun nonprofits combine for a story, it’s bound to be something as bereft of facts as it is poorly written, and to that standard, their most recent collaboration does not disappoint.

A story published Tuesday asks: “How Often Are AR-Style Rifles Used for Self-Defense? Supporters of AR-15s, often used in mass shootings and racist attacks, say they’re important for self-defense. Our analysis of Gun Violence Archive data suggests otherwise.”

Don’t give a fart in a whirlwind what your ginned-up, jerry-rigged “data” does or does not suggest. My God-given rights, as codified in the Second Amendment to the US Constitution, are not up for negotiation, nor will they ever be. I like my AR, I intend to keep it, and I care not one iota whether it’s practical as a self-defense weapon or is as useless as teats on a boar-hog. That’s flat; end of discussion, no more to be said. You can’t bear the idea of me having it, you just come ahead on and try to take it from me, then. FREE ADVICE: bring help. Level III body armor might be a pretty good idea, too.

As Mr Williams points out, the writer of Tuesday’s “published story” arrived at her conclusions via data glommed off her gungrabber sob-sisters at Herr Bloomberg’s GVA, which ludicrous tag-team circle-jerkery amuses me no end. As if any gun person in existence would ponder this meticulous, scrupulously impartial and honest “analysis” and freely decide he needed to shitcan his AR, so as to improve his ability to defend himself and his family using some other alternative.

More “as ifs”:

  • As if the Trace, the GVA, or any other passel of pissypantsed, pathologically gun-shy shitlibs give a fat rat’s patoot about how one might go about defending oneself more effectively
  • As if they’re in the least interested in how Normals might feel about anything, at all
  • As if they hadn’t demonstrated, over and again, their preference for the “rights” of the predator class over those of their victims
  • As if sane, sensible Americans would trust obviously manipulated statistics and naked propaganda over their own native common sense, lived experience, and observable reality
  • As if shitlibs sincerely felt obliged to honor the very concept of natural, God-given rights in the first place

As Williams says, we’re talking about people who have not only never heard a shot fired, they’ve probably never so much as even been in the same room with a gun, and are totally ignorant about them. In fact, the one and only thing they DO know about guns is that they don’t like them, and wish they would all just go away. Yet somehow this footling, cowardly neurosis translates into blanket moral authorization to trample the rights of more mentally balanced, less hysterical sorts.

So yeah, go piss up a rope, shitlib hoplophobes. I repeat: stop flapping your yaps and just come take ‘em already. Let’s see how that works out for ya in the end.

WHO didn’t build WHAT again, now?

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Joe Biden, Prince of Irony.

Biden Says Trump ‘Didn’t Build a Damn Thing’ in Labor Day Address

Let’s just all bear in mind that the Big Guy© has never held an honest, productive, worthwhile job in his entire fucking life, preferring instead to spend the last fifty years scumming around Mordor on the Potomac seeking bribes, kickbacks, and underage girls to fondle—while Trump was building hotels, apartment buildings, golf courses, resorts, and other useful things, providing gainful employment for thousands of Americans. Which, caught up in the dismal toils of the Biden Economic MIRACLE™, really means something.

Yep, one of these things is NOT like the other, and not at all in the way Lyin’ Jaux and his handlers would have you believe.

President Joe Biden used his Labor Day address to attack his predecessor, Donald Trump, by claiming that the famed real estate mogul “didn’t build a damn thing.”

Speaking in the swing state of Pennsylvania — a heavy working-class state — during a Labor Day rally, President Biden said that infrastructure became a “punchline” under Trump.

“Guess what? The great real estate builder, the last guy here, he didn’t build a damn thing,” said Biden. “Under my predecessor, ‘Infrastructure Week’ became a punchline. On my watch, infrastructure means a decade, and it’s a headline.”

S’cuse me and all, but does anybody even know what that last garblefarggledegook means? Could possibly be the most well-tossed word salad I’ve ever seen.

Biden even went as far as to say that Trump exported jobs to China, even though the former president took a firm stance against exporting jobs to foreign countries during his presidency, especially during the 2016 campaign against Hillary Clinton. The former president also imposed tariffs on Chinese goods.

“When the last guy was here, you were shipping jobs to China. Now we’re bringing jobs home from China selling the whole country to China, especially the White(bag) House, and just basically doing whatever the ChiComs tell me to do, as always,” Biden claimed.

FIFY, Jao. Uhhhh, sorry, Jaux. This next bit is particularly rich.

It should also be noted that Biden criticized the former president’s decision to shut down travel from China during the early days of the coronavirus pandemic.

“We are in the midst of a crisis with the coronavirus. We need to lead the way with science — not Donald Trump’s record of hysteria, xenophobia, and fear-mongering. He is the worst possible person to lead our country through a global health emergency,” he said at the time.

Spewed even as his illegitimate ruling junta is cranking up the hysteria and fear-mongering in advance of the next round of masks, mandates, and lockdowns—another Scamdemic smash-hit playing soon at a theater near you.

I swear to you, this story is not from the Babylon Bee, incredible as that may seem. The scariest thing of all is that you know as well as I do that half the damned country is nodding along in total agreement reading it…and believe themselves to be a damned sight smarter than YOU mouthbreathing, racist, homophobic White Sooperdooperpremacist insurrectionists.

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Kick out the JAMS

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Okay, since the Tik-Tok video worked out nicely, let’s find out how YewToob fares.

Cooool, dude.

That’s the mighty Fu Manchu, king of the stoner-rock bands. I tremendously dig how hard they work a groove consisting entirely of one (1) chord, going from a seemingly mild, almost bland intro, building up the tension until by the fadeout my neck hurts from violently thrashing my head as if I had any hair to be tossing. A bio bit on the boys:

Fu Manchu is an American stoner rock band, formed in Orange County in 1985. The band underwent multiple lineup changes throughout the 80s and 90s, but has remained consistent since 2001. The band currently consists of founding guitarist turned lead vocalist Scott Hill, bassist Brad Davis, lead guitarist Bob Balch and drummer Scott Reeder.

Fu Manchu have been long associated with the Palm Desert Scene, alongside bands such as Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss and Mondo Generator. Monster Riff has described the band as “one of the most loved and revered…bands in the stoner rock world.”

Indeed, and deservedly so too. But what is this “stoner rock” of which I speak, you ask? Oh, just this:

Stoner rock is typically slow-to-mid tempo and features a heavily distorted, groove-laden bass-heavy sound, melodic vocals, and “retro” production. Due to the similarities between stoner and sludge metal, there is often a crossover between the two genres. This hybrid has traits of both styles, but generally lacks stoner metal’s laid back atmosphere and its usage of psychedelia.

For my money, Monster Magnet and Fu Manchu represent the tippy-top of the stoner-rock heap. An amalgamation of late-60s/early-70s hard rock a la DPurp, Sabbath, Zep, and Hawkwind, cranked up to 11 by the breakneck intensity of late-70s/early-80s punk—really, what’s there for a guy like me not to like here? Next up, my all-time fav-o-rite Fu Manchu tune.

One could be forgiven for not expecting subtlety from the above description of the genre they’re working in, and maybe one would be right at that. But take careful note of how, after using a choppy staccato throughout the first verses, the bassist transitions during the guitar solo to a pounding, single-note legato throb. Meanwhile, the vocalist begins the breakdown section in a conversational near-whisper, working up an octave until he’s reached a frantic bellow. The drummer swaps out his high-hat for the ride, then starts in wailing on the crash cymbal like it just stole his girlfriend. The lead guitar wraps the party up with a series of vicious, bent-string squalls.

All that doesn’t come together by accident, y’know; while it may not be what Frank Sinatra would think of as subtle, it’s subtle enough for rock and roll.

Trucker of the year

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Badass (adjective)

bad·​ass ˈbad-ˌas 

1 chiefly US, informal + sometimes offensive: ready to cause or get into trouble : MEAN

pretending to be a badass gunslinger
—L. L. King

2 chiefly US, informal + sometimes offensive: of formidable strength or skill

such a badass guitar player
—N’Gai Croal

It’s number two we’re concerned with this evening. To wit:

 

@absolutegeniux #viralvideo #trending #tiktokviralvideos #viral #tiktokviral #trendingvideo #tiktokviralvideo ♬ Big Truck Driver – Mystikal

Trucker of the year? To say the very least, yeah. I’ll have much more to say about this vid later; right now, consider it just an experiment to see whether or how well embedding vids will work with this new theme. I have worries about that. Back in a bit…

Update! Cool, the embed works great for me, dunno about you folks. Now to put y’all squarejohn cage-jockeys some serious big-rig knowledge about just what it is you’re seeing up there.

First off, that’s a 53-foot reefer trailer being pulled and/or pushed by what appears to be a conventional sleeper-cab, probably an older Peterbilt. The refrigerator unit can be identified by those black rectangles on the top-front of the trailer all too near the back of the tractor’s cab.

I say all too near because my old boss Donald had a reefer I had to pull fairly regularly, and I bashed the shit out of the thing in ATL one fine morn trying to back into a dock space not nearly as tight as the one in the video. Pinched the side of the reefer unit but good with the rear-cab of the old International Pro Sleeper I usually drove, one of two trucks Donald was running back then, necessitating a pricey repair job.

In fact, if I remember right, Donald just ended up ditching the one I smushed after getting a cpl-three outrageous quotes for the repair job; he bought a used reefer unit from some other small-trucking-company dude he knew, then had his mechanic install that one instead of shelling out for a brand-new one. He’d never warned me about watching the angle carefully when backing a reefer, an oversight he came to regret toot sweet. They stick out a fairish bit, after all.

Now, on the back-ins: those of you who have worked in or near a warehouse with truck-loading docks might have noticed how truck drivers always, always, ALWAYS pull up just past the slot they intend to park in with the dock on the left side of the rig. Then, when the tail of your trailer is almost but not quite even with the truck you’ll end up tucked in next to, you flare the cab and position the trailer by cranking the wheel first right for a few feet, then hard left before you start your back.

As sci-fi legend John Ringo said of farming in his book The Last Centurion: trucking is planning.

See, you always set yourself up to back to your left so’s you can easily look down the side of your trailer as you ease in, thereby enabling yourself to avoid climbing into the lap of the poor slob next to you. The only way you can see to your right is in the mirrors, which won’t tell you anywhere near as much as leaning out the driver’s side window and looking with your own Mark-1 Mod-0 eyeballs will.

Gotta constantly be checking the right-side mirrors too, natch. But the real issues are more likely to arise on the other side, the inside of your pivoting arc. Better to put that arc where you have the best view of it. Which is on the left. Just once in a blue moon, you might find yourself out in the boondocks at a one-hole dock where you HAVE to back to the right side—probably some cotton-mill warehouse that was built in the 30s, when 53’ trailers and sleeper cabs weren’t a thing yet. When that’s the case, one of the dock apes will usually come out to watch your right side and guide you on in without bending anything expensive.

Whenever I was being sent to one of those old tumbledown places, Donald would put me in the yellow Freightshaker cab-over he usually drove himself. I purely hated driving that thing, but the fact is you can stuff a flat-front into places a conventional can only dream about maneuvering into.

Dang it, I hit “post” prematurely by mistake, before I’d finished. I’ll tuck the grand finale into another update after I go grab myself something to drink here.

Bringing it all home update! So yeah, anyhoo…

One of the first things I noticed when in Europe is how you just don’t ever see any sleeper cabs and 53’ trailer rigs like you do here, where they’re ubiquitous on any and every highway you care to name. I asked a Euro-trucker about that once, and he explained that it was mainly because truck drivers there aren’t expected to cover anything like the area they do here in the States; as he pointed out, Europe is small enough that your average trucker can pick up in one country, drive across another, drop the load in a third, and still sleep in his own bed that same night. Kinda obvious, really, but I had just never thought about it before.

Okay, there’s more trucking lore I could give ya, but I’ll just stop myself there and be done with it for now. Got some other things I wanna fool around with here, possibly including the “Submit comment” button issue. Someday I gotta tell youse guys the story of the time I had to spend several days in a low-country SC nowhere, waiting to pick up a load of watermelons. It was an experience, for sure, one I learned a few needful things from.

Another thing update! Almost forgot, but one tell is how many times the driver has to pull forward and straighten up before continuing with his back. The fewer times he has to pull forward, the more skilled the driver, and the less fun the dock apes will poke at him when he brings his paperwork inside. Our TOTY candidate up there needed to do so just once. He DOES commit another glaring, disqualifying error before he hits the rubber dock bumpers, though—a bonehead maneuver I made myself several times when I was just starting out that really spoils the whole thing, and is a real pain in the ass to rectify. I’ll let y’all try to guess what it was.

Theme switcher implemented!

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I gotta tell ya, this WordPress software, for all I’ve commiserated with other blogger friends of mine about certain decidedly unlikeable aspects of it, is one hell of a piece of blogware. Remember how last night I mentioned, in the throes of exhaustion and eyeball-ache, that I’d need to find a way to offer a Desktop/Mobile choice since this new-to-me theme I’m using was utter shite when viewed in my Android browser?

WELL. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy: all’s I had to do was install a theme-switcher plugin—of which there are dozens available out there, free of charge—capable of detecting what platform the site is being viewed in and then automagickally switching back to the old theme I’d been using for years for any sail-foam OS so as to display the site to much better advantage, albeit sacrificing some of the newer theme’s functionality. Tested it on my own phone, works like a charm, no glitches, no hassles. Amazing thing, this modern world we live in, innit?

And to think, before you know it it’s gonna be time for the Halloween à la Coop theme, then Scrooge Picard. Oh, the fun we shall have…

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