As you all know, as of yesterday all American women have been stripped of their sacred Right To Choose™ to have their unborn children dismembered in the womb, or to have the infant set aside to die of starvation while still moist from having still been in it immediately beforehand. Likewise, Women’s Health Care™ (another synonym for abortion, according to every dictionary in history, ever) is now a thing of the past also.

These precious rights and so many, many others—all precisely and explicitly enshrined in our precious US Constitution, although good luck finding anything resembling that in the actual text of that outdated, deeply flawed piece of shite—become now only the stuff of mist and memory with the illegitimate, illegal, and brazenly contra-Constitutional swearing in of the evil witch Amy Coney Barret to sit on the now-defunct and meaningless US Supreme Court, by none other than that shuckin’, jivin’, spear-chuckin’, watermelon-suckin’ moon-cricket himself, Uncle Tom “Clarence” Thomas.

As I was driving around for work earlier, I couldn’t help but notice the total absence of any females sharing the streets with me. Then, like a flash, the truth hit me: upon ACB’s swearing-in, all American women were doubtless taken into State custody; forcibly impregnated; swaddled in one of those silly red schmattas a la Handmaid’s Tale; and locked into some remote gulag to be held in durance vile for the duration of this national ordeal.

Most foresighted, judicious take on this darkest of all days? Gotta be the one elucidated by that reliably high-minded, never-hysterically-partisan statesman Chuck Schreecher:

At the end of this sordid chapter in the history of the Senate, in the history of the Supreme Court, my deepest and greatest sadness is for the American people. Generations yet unborn will suffer the consequences of this nomination.

Izzat right there, Chuckles? As in, “suffer the consequences” of being permitted to, y’know, ACTUALLY BE BORN INTO THIS WORLD?!? In contrast to being ripped to bloody bits, the victim of a last-ditch act of birth control?

You really, REALLY sure that’s the argument you want to be trying to make here, genius?

All sarcasm aside—okay, most of it, maybe—The Notorious ACB’s brief post-swearing-in statement was truly a thing of Constitutional Originalist beauty, for those dwindling few of us who fervently wish we had adhered to the thing properly rather than negligently allowing the Left to incrementally burn it down to ashes.

I have spent a good amount of time over the last month at the Senate; both in meetings with individual senators and in days of hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee. The confirmation process has made ever-clearer to me one of the fundamental differences between the federal judiciary and the United States Senate, and perhaps the most acute is the role of policy preferences. It is the job of a senator to pursue her policy preferences; in fact, it would be a dereliction of duty to put policy goals aside.

By contrast, it is the job of a judge to resist her policy preferences.  It would be a dereliction of duty for her to give in to them. Federal judges don’t stand for election, thus they have no basis for claiming that their preferences reflect those of the people. This separation of duty from political preference is what makes the judiciary distinct among the three branches of government. A judge declares independence not only from Congress and the president, but also from the private beliefs that might otherwise move her. The judicial oath captures the essence of the judicial duty; the rule of law must always control.

My fellow Americans, even though we judges don’t face elections, we still work for you. It is your Constitution that establishes the rule of law and the judicial independence that is so central to it., The oath that I have solemnly taken tonight means at its core that I will do my job without any fear or favor and that I will do so independent of both the political branches and my own preferences. I love the Constitution and the democratic republic that it establishes, and I will devote myself to preserving it. Thank you.

ZOMG, no WONDER the Left simultaneously hates and fears this madwoman so desperately! She’s clearly a wild-eyed, fanatical, extremist zealot!!

Okay, okay, OKAY. /sarcasm. No, seriously, you guys. I mean it this time. Until I don’t.

There are more than just a couple of sweet, sweet aspects to this, aside from not only getting a third Trump appointment onto the Court but one who to initial appearances looks like being a thrice-worthy antidote to Chief Justice Roberts’ toxic stealth-liberalism.

For starters: the oath of office was indeed administered by the great Clarence Thomas, a gifted legal mind whose staunch Originalism has graced the Court and blessed the American people well beyond anyone’s fondest hopes. Thomas has grown into his exalted position with aplomb, having authored some of the most well reasoned, meticulously constructed, and logically unassailable opinions and dissents ever—opinions that stack up quite damned well, thanks, with any other Justice I can think of throughout our history.

Thomas now bestrides the US Supreme Court like an almighty Colossus, and rightly so too. The man is no less than one of the best we’ve ever had in the position, and we’re fortunate indeed to have him there. But there’s also another little matter to consider here: AJ Thomas was also the man whose horrifically sordid and disgraceful Senate hearings—a “high-tech lynching,” as he himself so aptly described it—marked the early phase of the Demonrats’ transformation of the advise-and-consent process into no more than a pornographic Ringling Bros & Barnum & Bailey circus act.

And guess who one of the marquee performers in the revolting, abusive 1991 ordeal Thomas stalwartly endured might have been? Who, in fact, was not only a participant in the shameful mess, but was actually the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee at the time? Why, none other than ol’ Where-Am-I Biden, his own ever-despicable self.

But wait, it gets better yet. I’ll just let JJ do the honors.

Amy Coney Barrett was sworn in last night after being confirmed by a Harry Reid simple majority in the Senate. The swearing in of Justice Barrett to take the empty seat on the Supreme Court is filled with a number of metaphors as well as at least one deliciously ironic coincidence; yesterday was Hillary Clinton’s birthday. Just over four years ago, the now deceased predecessor of Justice Barrett, who was no spring chicken even then and a double cancer survivor was urged to step down so that Barack Obama could appoint her successor, one who would be equally anti-Constitutional. But no. She was determined to bitterly cling to that seat so that she could live to see her successor sworn in by Hillary, who was after all, a 100% lead pipe cinch to be the first female president (the jury is still out as to whether or not that was, in fact, Obama or James Buchanan). If you’re reading this post wherever you are, how did that work out for you?

No way to really know for sure, but I’m imagining a scenario along these lines: a large spit, rotating ever-so-slowly over one of Hell’s hotter fires, with Ol’ Scratch Himself rolling a TV over by RGB, so’s she has to watch the ACB swearing-in on an endless—or should I say eternal—loop while she’s charbroiling. I’m envisioning something very similar for HILLARY!™ on her arrival, too.