A love for the ages

Ace posts a truly touching correspondence between The Right Honorable Braindead Sen John “Kwato” Fetterman and his loving spouse, Gisele.

America’s foremost Pompous Documentarian Ken Burns has been collecting the correspondence of John and Gisele Fetterman. He has shared with me their most recent exchanges, which I will now share with you.

I think you will agree that this love is a fire whose embers will smolder and glow throughout eternity.

 

Fettermanletter 1

 

Giseleletter 1

Fettermanletter 2

Giseleletter 2

Yep, a story of love, devotion, and self-sacrifice worthy of Shakespeare himself, this one. Probably one of those that ends up with everybody bleeding out on the fucking floor at the very end.

The incredible Hatsan Blitz

So my brother had one of these little beauties delivered yesterday and walked it over to my place next door, where we went out on the back deck to chaw up various pieces of leftover wood. Results? Impressive.

As my friend Don is working this bad machine, note the chunks of wood flying off the target plywood. Said plywood is being propped up by a length of 4×4 behind, which my brother then proceeded to split in half, right down the center, with only a few well-placed rounds. Very little noise, same-same for felt recoil, pellets are el cheapo, completely street-legal and unregulated, since it’s not classified as a firearm, because…well, because it isn’t a firearm, actually—I ask you, what’s not to like here?

Yep, I envision deriving mucho backyard-shooting range enjoyment from the Blitz in the days to come. The muzzle velocity, and therefore effective range, drops slightly as the air-tank is depleted, but refilling it is a total breeze, and can be done quite easily by hand if you don’t own a compressor.

The Hatsan Blitz airgun comes in various flavors, including .22, .30, and .50 cal (!!!) versions. Full auto, natch; as I’ve long insisted, you haven’t really flown until you’ve flown an open-cockpit biplane, you haven’t really ridden until you’ve ridden a Harley, and you haven’t really shot until you’ve shot full auto. Jeff got two 16-round magazines with it, but there are also 30-rounders available. Lots of vids of fun and destruction on YewToob, too.

Sundry gleanings

More fun schtuff from the Quora Digest email list. Item One:

Why do most mechanics drive junk cars?

I’m 73 and I’ve driven close to 750,000 miles by now. I’ve yet to spend a 1,000 bucks to buy a car. I’ve only had a half dozen, no one else has ever worked on them, and they don’t stay stock for more than a few days. Not only are old cars cheap and easy to fix, if you spend a little cash and a little more time on performance, they can be a lot of fun and still be very cheap to drive. If they look like crap they don’t get stolen and they don’t get tickets.

The fastest I took my 62 VW bus was 115mph on a windy road on a windy day. One day on a twisty little mountain road as I came down into the hairpin, he left me half a lane and a clean shoulder and I passed a 911 Porche. We both had Porche engines, but he had a six and I had a four so he took me back on the first straightaway. Cruising speed was 80 and I lived in it for three years traveling around.

With tall tires to get the gear ratio up and a well tuned 1600, my ’61 Karman Ghia got 40mpg at 90mph. With lower tires I could race the Alphas, Lotuses, and Porches at the slolom track. My total investment in the Ghia was about $3,000. Why in the world would I want a new car.

Why indeed. Of course, not all of us are mechanics; maybe they ought to work on that, eh? So to speak. Item Two:

Swatara Samaritan

“A Swatara police officer was called to the Capital Diner this morning. An elderly man couldn’t pay for his breakfast; he tried but his card was declined. He panicked and actually called the police on himself because he didn’t know what to do. The restaurant gave him his space to figure it out and that was the best solution he could come up with. Officer Anthony Glass went to the counter, pulled out his credit card, and paid for the man’s breakfast. The man asked for his phone number so he could pay him back but the officer kindly declined. This young man deserves to be recognized.”

There was no headline with that one, so I made up my own. Item Three is a long ‘un, but the payoff is well worth the wade.

What has your child’s school done that got you so mad, you went in and read the riot act to the teacher or principal?

I was the student, but the story is so epic it has to be shared.

It was 1979, and I was in 4th grade. In the American South, land of “guns and religion”.

A little background…I learned to read at a very early age, and read basically anything I could get my hands on. I didn’t watch TV or go outside and play, I read. All the time. And way beyond my “grade level”. By the time of this story, I had read the Bible cover to cover, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, all kinds of “adult” stuff that, according to my teachers, I had no chance of comprehending.

The year before this incident, I had gotten in trouble at school because I was reading “All The President’s Men” (for those who don’t know, this book was THE definitive Watergate scandal tale; the authors were the Washington Post reporters who basically took down Nixon).

My teacher at the time refused to believe I could read and understand this book. She tried to quiz me as to who was what, and I knew all the characters. She was confused as to who had what job, and insisted that there was no Attorney General named Elliot Richardson, and said NO ONE refused Nixon’s order to fire the Watergate special prosecutor.

I knew this was false, so the next day I brought in the book and showed her the appropriate sections regarding the “Saturday Night Massacre”. She started yelling at me about how I was just a smart-ass and trying to make her look bad. I replied, in the way only an elementary school kid can, and said, “You already look bad…maybe if you read more and ate less, you’d look better”.

So I’m already on the school admin radar as a “trouble kid”. This time the book was the novel version of the movie “Kramer Vs Kramer”. There were several minister’s kids in my class, and one of them saw the word “f**k” in my book. He promptly ran to the teacher to tattle that I was reading a “dirty” book. Teacher comes storming down the aisle and snatches the book from me, telling me she is going to call my mom and I am in deep trouble. So now my book is gone (and I hadn’t finished it yet… waah), and I’m in trouble for reading a book…again.

Get home, and yes, the teacher called and told my mom I had PORNOGRAPHY in her classroom. Mom is all ready to give me the “birds and bees” talk, and asked what kind of magazine it was…“Was it a Playboy or Penthouse? One of those? I understand you’re curious about females, but…”

I interrupted her to tell her, no it wasn’t a girlie mag, it was a book…Kramer Vs Kramer. And it had a dirty word in it. That was it. I wasn’t looking at Playboy centerfolds, I was reading a book based on an Academy Award winning movie.

So Mom is supposed to go to the school the next day and meet with them about “my behavior”. Problem is, she’s a single mother who works 2 jobs and can’t just take off every time someone gets a hair up their tight little sphincters. A little while later she’s talking to my grandfather, her father, and telling him about this. She calls me to the phone and hands it to me. He asked me what happened, and I told him my version. He says not to worry, I am NOT in trouble, and he will pick me up in the morning and take me to school and meet with them.

Whereupon Gramps showed the slackass, ign’ernt fucks what trouble REALLY was, which leads to this most gratifying denouement:

Interestingly enough, I never got in trouble again for reading. God I miss him!!

As well you might, young feller. As well you might.

FAFO, epitomized

Ordinarily I’d have knocked off posting for the night around two-three posts ago, but I’m enjoying playing with MarsEdit too much to stop myself now.

Divemedic posts the feel-good video of the year 2016, after a long and arduous search for it.

Is it EVER a good idea to try robbing a gun store, ferchrissakes? And yet somehow, these idjits just keep right on doing it anyway.

Oscar SWEEP coming?

Analysis: TRUE AS ALL HELL.

In A Just World, ‘Cocaine Bear’ Would Sweep The Oscars

Regrettably—tragically, even—this is NOT that world.

In 1985, in the Chattahoochee National Forest in Georgia, a bear came upon a trove of cocaine which had been dumped from a plane by trafficker Andrew Thornton. The bear then consumed either some or all of the drug and overdosed, depending on which version of the story you prefer. In 2023, in the newly released movie “Cocaine Bear,” written by Jimmy Warden and directed by Elizabeth Banks, the story takes a decidedly different turn, one in which the bear develops a strong affinity for the drug and goes on a murderous rampage.

The result is a shining example of the type of content Hollywood should be producing.

It’s a gory, rollicking romp through several stories which become intertwined thanks to the cocaine bear. There’s Daveed, played by Ice Cube’s son O’Shea Jackson Jr., who’s been charged by kingpin Syd, portrayed by Ray Liotta in one of his final roles, with recovering the drug scattered across the forest in duffle bags. Accompanying Daveed is Eddie, played by Alden Ehrenreich, who is trying to leave the family business and is wrecked with grief over his wife losing her battle with cancer. Along the way, they pick up a hoodlum. Their story is a blood-soaked buddy comedy.

All of those people get killed, though the cocaine bear doesn’t directly kill and dismember all of them, just most of them. Most of the principal characters survive, but not before they come together to learn lessons about parenting, friendship, teamwork, and fighting a cocaine-addled bear.

Heads are removed. Limbs torn off. Blood splashing hither and thither. Body parts bouncing hither and thither. There are jokes, such as when the hooligan teaches Eddie how he can better talk to his own son. There are tender moments, also exemplified by the hooligan teaching Eddie how to better communicate with his son.

What there aren’t are any lectures. There are no teachable moments, unless you count the one that comes at the beginning of the film and is credited to Wikipedia, that in a normal encounter with a black bear, the smart play is to fight back. It’s 95 minutes of insanity that serves no purpose other than to entertain.

In a just world, those 95 minutes of blood-soaked carnage would be guaranteed to earn multiple Oscars, from best screenplay to best director to best film. Alas, the lack of teachable moments probably means that won’t happen, but it matters not. For what matters is that in 2023, we have a movie that hearkens back to earlier times, back when Hollywood sought not to make us better people, but to distract us for a while, to invite us to imagine possibilities like “what if a bear got hooked on cocaine?”

One of the truly burning questions of our era, for sure. But seriously, now: movies as entertainment, not holier-than-thou finger-wagging? How very quaint.

Just keep on keepin’ on

Gonna have to “excerpt” damned near all of this one, I’m afraid, since it expresses my own thoughts on DeSantis the Destroyer pretty precisely.

We Need to Talk About Mark Levin’s Interview With Ron DeSantis Last Night
On Sunday night, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis appeared on “Life, Liberty, and Levin” on Fox News, purportedly to promote his new book, The Courage to Be Free, which comes out this week.

While DeSantis has not yet declared that he’s running for president, he certainly sounded like a man who’s making the case for his candidacy. Or, if not, he’s making a case for conservatism as the path to American success and prosperity— the subtitle of the book is “Florida’s Blueprint for America’s Revival.”

As my colleague Stephen Green pointed out earlier today:

DeSantis isn’t traveling to early presidential primary states like Iowa or New Hamphire, at least not yet. Instead, his most recent tour was through three struggling Deep Blue cities to tout what he’s done differently in Florida… DeSantis is calmly but quite publicly holding up his state as a model for the nation, just like a governor running for president would do. Except that he has yet to announce that he’s running. He hasn’t even formed one of those exploratory committees that allows a not-yet candidate to fundraise.

I don’t see how it’s a bad thing for DeSantis to wait to announce, if he does indeed plan to run. Does anyone really think the primary season is too short and needs to be lengthened? The 2016 primary seemed like it would never end—and the personal attacks and circular firing squad did nothing to help spread the message about the benefits of conservatism.

To the best of my knowledge, contra the ceaseless nattering from Vichy GOPe blowflies seeking to play Da Guv off against Trump for their own purposes, the one and only thing DeSantis has said to date about running for Prexy in ’24 is that he ain’t gonna. He’s perfectly free to run if he wants, just as who even knows how many other ambitious governors have before him; there’s nothing especially sinister or shameful about that, really. That said, I still very much hope he won’t. For me, it all boils down to this:

Whether or not DeSantis decides to run for president, he’s demonstrated over and over again that it’s possible to stand up to the woke mob and The Swamp and win. He stood up to Disney and won—depriving the woke company of its special tax breaks and self-governing authority. He noted in the interview that on his first day in office, he sat down and read what authority the governor had and then went to work. He fired a George Soros-backed DA when he refused to enforce the law; remade a failing Florida university in the image of Hillsdale College; went after venues hosting perverts performing drag shows with little kids in the audience; and banned sexually explicit materials in the classrooms of children in grades K-2. He was one of the first governors to re-open his state during the covid pandemic and he ordered children and teachers back into their classrooms. He also refused to force vaccine mandates. Unlike Trump, who stood mutely next to Dr. Fauci while he stood at the podium and spewed his lies about the origins of the covid virus, masking, and the vaccine, DeSantis did his research and decided for himself what was best for his state.

And those are just some of the highlights.

There’s been an effort by some to portray DeSantis as a Swamp creature, beholden to Paul Ryan (who?) or something, but that’s laughable on its face. This guy is fighting the liberals and WINNING. Who cares if he ran into Kevin McCarthy in a men’s room once, or whatever it is the Twitter bots are saying this week? All I care about is winning and taking back the country. If the GOP elites want to pour money into his campaign, let them. You can’t win the presidency without money. There’s more than enough proof to indicate that DeSantis is his own man and not beholden to special interests.

Noticeably absent from the interview was any mention of Trump’s recent attacks on DeSantis. Levin mentioned that the book, which DeSantis actually wrote himself, doesn’t contain any of the gossip or attacks on other politicians that tend to be a staple in political books. Instead, it focuses on DeSantis’s biography and his policies and principles.

“It’s like if you and I would have had a private conversation three years ago, why should I regurgitate that and put that out there when you were talking to me in confidence?” the governor explained. “And so I try to focus on the policies. What does it mean to be a leader in this day and age because, as you know, Mark, when you’re standing for our values, you come under assault in American society.”

“If you’re standing for the right things, you’re going to have to show courage under fire if you ultimately want to bring this stuff in for a landing, and so we had to do that so many different times. And I just felt that’s something that people are gonna be more interested in than any kind of dishing about private conversations I may have had with somebody.”

If there’s one thing we all should have learned since 2016—the last two nightmarish years especially—it’s that the President is nothing but a figurehead, a dumbshow put on for the edification and/or entertainment of the flyover Great Unwashed rubes by the Men Behind The DC Curtain. Do yourself, your state, and your nation a solid, Ron: don’t fall for it. You’ve accomplished some truly worthwhile, significant things as governor, something no real outsider or reformer will ever be permitted to do in Mordor On The Potomac so long as the Barad-Dur still stands.

Let the Swamp players keep playing, the manipulators keep manipulating, the Beltway Bandits keep up their banditry; they’re going to, no matter what you or anybody else does or says. As we saw with the Agony of Trump, no one man can possibly fix all that’s wrong in the Garden of FederalGovCo. You’ll do much more good where you’re at than you will under siege in the White House—ineffectual, beset on all sides, while we look on in despair as the jackals strip yet another carcass clean to the bone.

Do not take this cup from them, no matter how passionately it’s urged on you. Stay the course. And for Christ’s sweet sake, stay right where you are.

One of the powers behind the (phony) throne

Solway gives the vapid, self-seeking, and gobsmackingly pretentious “Dr” Jill her due.

Joe and Jill Went Up the Hill
The adulation Jill Biden has received for so flimsy a dubious accomplishment as a paper doctorate in a derelict field like Education Studies is utterly misplaced, whether it is the mentally impregnable Whoopi Goldberg thinking that Jill Biden was a medical doctor and should be considered for Surgeon General or a sports announcer for an NFL game, as Megyn Kelly notes, ingratiatingly remarking that “Dr. Jill Biden” was in attendance. I watched that game between the Eagles and the 49ers and nearly turned off the set when the fawning announcer asserted his bona fides.

The title of Dr. linked to Jill Biden certainly seems inappropriate. Recently, my wife Janice Fiamengo posted a Substack article critical of the First Lady’s doctoral thesis from the University of Delaware, Student Retention in the Community College: Meeting Students’ Needs, a document running to a risible 80 pages, not counting reference pages and appendices. Additionally, the Literature Review does not identify disagreements and contrary viewpoints in the education literature, as is standard practice, nor does her Methodology section indicate the limits of her analytical procedure, also standard practice. These, as well as thin citation, inadequate research, and generally poor writing, as Wall Street Journal film critic Kyle Smith has shown, are crucial problems.

Formerly an English professor at the University of Saskatchewan and later at the University of Ottawa, Janice chaired and administered dozens of doctoral candidacies, professional and academic, over the years and has also served as an external examiner. She knows her business. In her Substack entry, which I would urge the reader to check out, Janice made it vividly clear that Mrs. Biden’s doctoral thesis does not pass muster. Indeed, in my estimation, it would not qualify even for a Master’s Degree.

Equally to the point, most everyone knows or should know that a degree in Education is not worth much. I have lectured as visiting professor in various Education Departments and Teachers’ Training Colleges in Canada and the U.S. and written three books, Education LostLying about the Wolf and The Turtle Hypodermic of Sickenpods, in which the subject was put under the loupe. I came to the conclusion that such Departments and Colleges should be completely abolished. Like Gender Studies, they are a waste of time and resources. The Ed.D might have generated respect had it conformed to the conditions and implications of the title — “Dr.” should mean something. In this instance, it doesn’t.

One might wonder, what’s the big deal in having a Doctorate or why it needs to be flaunted. It is not a rare phenomenon. After all, several U.S. secretaries of defense were so accoutered, though they were never saluted as “Doctor.” As a colleague reminds me, renowned business tycoon Jack Welch was never addressed as “Doctor,” though he had a Doctorate in chemical engineering. Former HUD secretary and neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson is referred to as “Mr.” in the New York Times. In Canada, former NDP leader and Ph.D. Ed Broadbent was never called “Doctor.” Even Howard Dean, the onetime DNC chairman, has never to my knowledge been called “Doctor,” though he is an M.D. What, then, is Dr. Biden’s agenda? Why is the press shocked, shocked?

More worrisome, as Samantha Chang at The Western Journal points out, “The first lady, who has never held elected office, is her husband’s ‘closest and most protective confidante’ and is influencing every major decision he makes, according to Bloomberg’s Nancy Cook. This is frightening because no one voted for Jill Biden, an English teacher who has no background in politics or public policy.” Ms. Chang alludes in this context to the secret presidency of Edith Wilson, one of the strangely implausible episodes in American history of a First Lady managing her infirm husband’s duties.

Ultimately, this is the Biden trademark: a corrupt and geriatric incompetent in the White House, and a vain First Lady devoid of intellectual substance who passes herself off as a scholar. Everything about such people is meretricious, or in popular parlance, “fake.” Such is current American leadership in both politics and education, a tale of broken crowns and failed policies hurtling down the historical gradient.

Ah well, in Pedo Joe’s case “breaking his crown” couldn’t do all that much damage anyhow, considering how very little he ever had underneath to begin with. New category for items such as this, concerning the various deceptions, ploys, and subterfuges deployed by FederalGovCo to cover up who’s actually running things: Deep State maskirovka.

“You’re a monkey”? SRSLY?!?

Irony so intense it could raise a blister on billet aluminum.


He looks a little like Tyrone Biggums. This vid must be an example of some of that White Privilege we’re always hearing about, I guess.

Update! Nope, it ain’t just me, there’s a striking resemblance there.



Rooster tale

The part of this one that’s most worthy of note isn’t in the news article itself, for a change.

Irish rooster with a violent past kills man with attack to the back of his leg, court says
An Irish inquest found that a man who died in April 2022, was attacked by a rooster with a history of attacking people, according to reports.

The Irish Examiner in Cork, Ireland, reported that Jasper Kraus was allegedly attacked by a Brahma chicken that was moved to his property in Ballinasloe after it attacked a child.

Garda Eoine Browne said during the judicial inquiry that he responded to reports of a sudden death on April 28, 2022, and when he arrived, he spoke to paramedics who said CPR attempts to revive the victim were unsuccessful.

Brown said the man, later identified as Kraus, was on the ground in the kitchen in a pool of blood, with a wound on the back of one of his legs.

A gruesome story, sure enough. But the real action, as is so often the case, is to be found in the comments section, kicking off thusly:

chieftain79
1 day ago
This whole thing could have been prevented with flour, hot grease, and a plate of biscuits.

And with that tasty quip we’re off and running, each commenter outdoing the one before with recipe suggestions, useful ideas for how excessively aggressive roosters might be made to calm the fuck down (with a hammer handle or an axe, natch), and such-like ribaldry. Be prepared to laugh until your face feels like it might crack down the middle from the strain, it’s that hilarious. Good, good stuff, no doubt about it.

Bits ‘n’ pieces o’ this ‘n’ that

More tidbits from another email newsletter I’m really, really glad I signed up for, the Quora Daily Digest. From the News You Can Use department, Practical Realities division.

As a police officer, if the person receiving the ticket is crying a lot, does it make you more likely to give the ticket to them or less likely?

Absolutely not. You know what does sway me? When I walk up and I get something along the lines of, “Sorry officer, I didn’t even realize I was speeding until I saw your lights, my mistake.” Honesty and attitude is key. If it’s nothing major, and the person owns up to it and talks to me in a respectful manner, I’m much more likely to just give out a warning and wish them a nice day. Dont try to lie your way out of it, don’t think crying will work, and above all, don’t keep the officer on the side of the road longer just so you can argue with them. It won’t work.

Next item comes to us from the Nice-Guy Celebrities local office.

Have you ever met a celebrity and found they were much kinder or ruder than you expected?

Back in 2003, Alice Cooper was playing a shown near Jim Thorpe, PA. It was sold out but I decided to try to find a ticket that day.

While walking by the only hotel in the downtown area, Alice’s tour bus pulled into the parking lot. The band and then Alice himself got off and were just milling about chatting.

I stood at the edge of the lot debating about asking for an autograph. As I started to approach, Alice looked over, said hello and held out his hand. Nervously, I shook it while trying not to sputter like an idiot.

Alice was amazing. We started talking and he was asking me questions about the area, if I golfed (he’s a huge golfer), how far I drove to be there. We started walking towards the hotel but he never broke the conversation. Even when Eric Singer (his drummer at the time) came up to tell Alice something, he motioned for me to hold on, answered Eric’s question, then continued the conversation.

When we reached the hotel front, I asked for a picture (taken with a 35mm film camera.) He obliged, we shook hands, and he went into the hotel.

Later that night, I bought a ticket from someone in line who had a no show in their group.

Being as it was general admission, I made my way to right in front of the stage. I’d like to think he noticed me there and gave me a wink at one point, but who knows.

Alice Cooper, the person, is much different that Alice Cooper you see on stage.

That’s always been the rule and not the exception for me with the many celebs I’ve serendipitously rubbed shoulders with over the years, yeah, from Johnny Cash to Daryl Hannah. I’ve heard that same thing said about the esteemed Mr Furnier lots of times, although I never did get to meet the man myself. Hell, even Janeane Garofalo—who’s kinda well-known for being not very friendly or nice usually—was absolutely great to me when she attended a show we did out in LA. Although it must also be noted that she was stinking, pie-eyed blotto when I sat and talked with her for a while after the show was over.

So, y’know, there’s that.

Waylon Jennings, Carl Perkins, Marisa Tomei, CJ Chenier, John Stamos, Brian Setzer, Mike Ness, though? All just great folks, super-nice and perfectly willing, even eager, to spend some of their valuable time chatting with a relative nobody like moi. The lone exception was actor George Kennedy, whom I had the sad misfortune of serving back when I was bartending at the CLT airport. He was a complete prick, start to finish, and I was mighty glad to see the back of him when his flight was finally called. That was an hour that went on for an eternity, seemed like; I thought it would never end, but thankfully it did.

Today’s final missive is courtesy of the Don’t Be A Dick sub-branch.

Police showed up to my neighbors house this morning and my neighbor told me they were looking for me (they said my full name) but then left promptly. But there is no search warrant for me online, how do I find out why the police were looking for me?

My wife called me at work saying the Sheriff was at the house with an arrest warrant for me for writing bad checks. I told her that I would handle it when I got home. When I got home I called the Sheriff’s office and said I would like to arrange a surrender. I explained that wealthy people do it all the time. Basically, you want me in custody, I would like this incarceration to have a minimal impact on my life. I ask to be allowed to eat dinner at home and shower at home and notify my boss of the situation before I willingly present myself to you for incarceration. This surprised the Sheriff, who had never been in this situation. He started asking questions and it was discovered that the person who the warrant was actually intended for, their S.S.# was 1 digit different from mine. Our names were identical, our age was identical, our wives’ names were one letter off from being identical and their S.S.#s were only 2 digits off. They lived roughly 50 miles from were I had lived for 8 years.

The Sheriff was curious and basically did a 10 minute investigation and dismissed the warrant due to incorrect information.

Obviously this is not standard behavior, I have been arrested due to a warrant, at my job, as I was working. I say all this to say that police are people first and many go into that profession to make the world a better place. It is unwise to assume that everyone in a group think alike in every instance.

Sometimes a little cooperation and how you present yourself can influence the outcome considerably.

WOW. That’s one hell of a story for sure. But…only “sometimes”? I’d say it’s the way to go pretty much every time myself, if only for purposes of self-preservation and nothing else. But then again, maybe that’s just me, and I could be all wet about it.

Science marching on

Big news aplenty from the world of science. ACTUAL science, that would be, not the hyper-politicized intellectual abortion Wokester retards are pleased to misnomer as such.

A Student Just Proved Paradox-Free Time Travel Is Possible

Now we can all go back to 2019.

In a peer-reviewed paper, an honors undergraduate student says he has mathematically proven the physical feasibility of a specific kind of time travel. The paper appears in Classical and Quantum Gravity.

University of Queensland student Germain Tobar, who the university’s press release calls “prodigious,” worked with UQ physics professor Fabio Costa on this paper. In “Reversible dynamics with closed time-like curves and freedom of choice,” Tobar and Costa say they’ve found a middle ground in mathematics that solves a major logical paradox in one model of time travel. Let’s dig in.

Whereupon they do, in a fashion that isn’t so mathematics-laden and conceptually opaque as to be completely impenetrable to your average lay person. That’s something that PopMech has always been pretty good at, which is one of the reasons I subscribed to their email newsletter in the first place. Robert Heinlein would violently object to the very idea of it, but the possibilities this development opens up for sci-fi alone are exciting, to say the very least.

Next up, mo’ bettah good news.

Expert Explains Cancer May Be Metabolic Disease, and Shares a Cure

“Cancer is not a genetic disease, it’s a metabolic disease,” Thomas N. Seyfried, a well-known scholar in cancer research and a Professor of Biology at Boston College, told The Epoch Times. “Once people understand that cancer is a metabolic disease, then you will begin to see a very big reduction in death and greatly improved quality of life and survival.”

From the perspective of cancer mortality, in the past nearly 100 years, the number of women who died of cancer per 100,000 Americans has gradually declined from roughly 190 in 1930 to 130 in 2022; whereas cancer deaths among men per 100,000 Americans rose from around 160 in 1930 to 180 in 2022.

In 2022, nearly 2,000,000 new cancer cases are expected in the United States, and over 500,000 people are expected to die from it. This means that every day, on average, 5,000 Americans are diagnosed with cancer, and over 1,600 people die from it.

“Why are so many people dying from cancer?” Seyfried asked. “Because the theory is wrong. The theory that underlies cancer is incorrect.”

Cancer is still generally considered a genetic disorder. Medical textbooks use somatic mutation theory to explain the cause of cancer. These textbooks state that cancer is caused by mutations in proto-oncogenes or tumor suppressor genes, and the mutated cells then multiply indefinitely and form malignant tumors. However, Seyfried mentioned a number of facts in this interview and in his published research that are inconsistent with the above theory.

Again, not so hard-science-heavy that it’s well beyond the ken of any benighted soul who isn’t a molecular-biology research specialist himself.

Sad news

Awwww, no.

Bruce Willis’s Family Shares Major Update on Actor’s Health

Bruce Willis’s family announced Thursday that the “Die Hard” actor was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, confirming that his condition “progressed” after he stepped away from acting last year.

In March 2022, his family said Willis, 67, was diagnosed with aphasia and was “stepping away” from acting.

His ex-wife, actress Demi Moore, confirmed the frontotemporal dementia diagnosis in an Instagram post on Thursday. Some health authorities say the condition is an “uncommon type of dementia” that can lead to problems with language and behavior.

“Our family wanted to start by expressing our deepest gratitude for the incredible outpouring of love, support and wonderful stories we have all received since sharing Bruce’s original diagnosis,” Moore, who shares three children with Willis, wrote on behalf of the family. “In the spirit of that, we wanted to give you an update about our beloved husband, father and friend since we now have a deeper understanding of what he is experiencing.”

“Bruce has always found joy in life—and has helped everyone he knows to do the same. It has meant the world to see that sense of care echoed back to him and to all of us,” Thursday’s statement added. “We have been so moved by the love you have all shared for our dear husband, father, and friend during this difficult time. Your continued compassion, understanding, and respect will enable us to help Bruce live as full a life as possible.”

Damn, I really do hate to hear this. All best wishes to Bruce, Demi, and his family.

Encouraging, if true

Is this something? Or no?

Marines Catch FBI Trying to Sabotage Substation in Idaho, and Kill Them.

Over the last three months, at least nine substations have been attacked in North Carolina, Washington, and Oregon, depriving tens of thousands of people of power, sometimes for several days. Following those attacks, the FBI posted a $250,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of whoever carried out twin attacks in Moore and Randolph Counties, N.C.

The feds also timidly implicated Trump supporters who oppose the LGBTQ community because the saboteurs struck cities hosting trans-friendly events.

The military now says the FBI should have put the 250K bounty on itself, for all signs suggest corrupt agents perpetrated the substation mishaps.

According to our source, the FBI’s “5th Column,” a growing number of agents working against Merrick Garland and his abhorrent Department of Justice, told Gen. Smith’s office that rogue agents were planning to disable a “power station near Boise” during the Super Bowl, but the tipster didn’t know which substation would be struck. And since Boise, a city with 250,000 residents, and its suburbs had numerous substations, Gen. Smith wanted specifics before committing his Marines to what could have been a wild goose chase. Such an attack would undeniably have made people angry and left thousands without electricity on a frigid night. Although some earlier “5th Column” tips yielded fruitful intelligence—and led to Deep State arrests—others were a bust, a waste of time and resources.

By Super Bowl Sunday kickoff, a Marine reconnaissance platoon had already arrived in Idaho and had scouted five distribution substations within a 30-mile radius of downtown Boise. They decided that anyone brazen enough to assault a utility while the sun still shone would choose a remote location with the sparsest nearby housing. But no such locale existed. The surrounding substations in Boise, Eagle, and Meridian were densely populated, with homes, in some cases, only meters away from buzzing and humming transformers. The platoon commander, unwilling to stretch his forces too thinly, divided the Marines into three 8-man teams, stationing them at substations with the least visible security—chain fences and such—and foliage the agents could use to avoid detection.

An hour into the game, the Eagles were beating Kansas City, but the Marines in Idaho saw no signs of FBI saboteurs. At halftime, as a demonic Rhianna dressed in a crimson bodysuit with a pentagram belt took the stage, an SUV sporting “Trump 2024” bumper stickers stopped beside the gate of the Columbia substation in Meridian. Four men, none of whom looked like feds, exited the truck and approached the locked gate. All wore MAGA regalia—hats and jackets endorsing Trump’s 2024 presidential bid—and one carried bolt cutters. Two had AR-15-style rifles slung across their shoulders.

The Marines challenged the quartet as it snapped the padlocked gate. The intruders were told to stand down and surrender, but one unshouldered his rifle, rocked the charging handle, and leveled the muzzle in the Marines’ direction. He never had a chance to pull the trigger.

The Marines, armed with suppressor-equipped M27 rifles, opened fire, killing the aggressors. Upon searching the bodies, the Marines found several magazines and a belt pouch of C4 explosives, though none of the dead had wallets or identification. They ran a make on the SUV’s VIN and plates, which traced back to a laundromat in Wilmington, Delaware.

The dead, our source said, were fingerprinted, and White Hats with access to the Integrated Automated Fingerprint Identification System matched two sets of prints to FBI agents assigned to an FBI office in Spokane, Washington.

So tell me: are we to consider the Marines to be the heroes of the story, or the White Hat FBI people? Oh, and if you’re wondering why you haven’t heard so much as Peep One about this incident from the “news” media, well…don’t.

“We can’t interrogate the dead, but at least now we know the FBI is complicit in the substation attacks,” our source said. “What’s worse, we’ve given the proof to MSM but they refuse to air it, and, yeah, this includes Fox, OANN, and Newsmax.”

Because of COURSE it does. No great surprise there, really. In Amerika v2.0, the revolution will NOT be televised.

Californication

No matter how bad things are wherever you live, you can be sure it’s much worse in California.

East Palestine Sees Real Estate Surge From Californians Seeking Better Quality Of Life

EAST PALESTINE, OH — Despite recent hardship, the quaint village of East Palestine has seen a surge in real estate sales as embittered Californians seek refuge in a state promising a better quality of life.

“California is a cesspool!” said Jason Gillespie, formerly of Fresno, CA. “And don’t get me started on the gas prices. At least here in East Palestine, I can afford to eat!”

The Gillespie family is not alone. According to a new report, approximately 700 families have moved to East Palestine within the last week alone and by the end of the year, the Census Bureau estimates the city will have a larger population than San Francisco.

Derrick Pastrano, formerly of San Bernardino, CA, was reportedly adamant to leave California behind after he received a $437.00 gas bill. “Living in California is a death sentence. I think we’ll have a better chance here,” he said, surrounded by hundreds of dead chickens. “And look! There’s plenty to eat all over the ground!”

Moving to East Palestine is expected to increase the life span of Californians by up to 15 years, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

At publishing time, California Governor Gavin Newsom had spent millions on an unnecessary commercial in which he blasted the town of East Palestine for stealing California residents and not having enough drag queen story hours.

From the Bee, of course, so who even knows whether it’s satire or for real. More great headlines from the same source:

Sixth Grader Swears His Science Homework Was Blown Up By A Sidewinder Missile

Cleveland Browns Thankful To No Longer Be Largest Disaster In Ohio

Meteorologists Struggling To Report The Weather As All The Weather Balloons Have Been Shot Down

Time Traveler From The Year 2024 Amazed By Ordinary People Cooking Eggs On A Gas Stove

And the all-time award winner for most gruesomely realistic Bee headline ever:

Disturbing Poll Reveals 26% Of Americans Still Trust The Media

More disturbing still, Biden’s approval rating is somehow still well above the 2 or 3% it would be in a sane country.

Life after greatness for the Greatest Of All Time

How does one go on living without the very thing that made one’s life worth living in the first place?

The neighborhood between his office and his home is North Beach, the old San Francisco Italian enclave, and one afternoon he drove me down the main boulevard. We passed Francis Ford Coppola’s office and the famous City Lights bookstore, rolling through the trattorias and corner bars of North Beach. Up the hill to the left is the street where Joe DiMaggio grew up. DiMaggio’s father, Giuseppe, kept his small fishing boat at the marina where the Montanas now live. Every day, no matter how dark and menacing the bay, Giuseppe DiMaggio awoke before the sun and steered his boat off the coast of California. He gave his son an American first name and wanted for him an ambitious American life. Joltin’ Joe realized every dream his dad dreamed but emerged from the struggle a bitter man prone to black moods as rough and unpredictable as his father’s workplace.

Bitterness is such a common affliction of once-great athletes that it’s only noteworthy when absent. Ted Williams burned every family photo. Michael Jordan kept trying to get down to his playing weight of 218 years after his retirement. The story goes that Mickey Mantle used to go sit in his car during rainstorms, drunk and crying, because the water hitting the roof sounded like cheers. Joe and Jennifer’s front door is just around the corner, maybe a three-minute walk, from the house DiMaggio bought for his parents with his first big check in 1937 and where he moved when he retired from baseball in 1951. He and Marilyn Monroe spent their wedding night there. The Marina remained full of memories for him. DiMaggio loved to sit alone there and stare out to sea as if looking for a returning vessel. The two Joes knew each other in the 1980s but weren’t friends. DiMaggio was much closer to Joe’s mother, who worked as a teller at the branch where the Yankee legend banked.

“Why did your mom have a job?” I ask as we drive down Columbus Avenue.

Joe smiles. His mom was one of a kind. When he was a kid she bleached his football pants at night so he’d always look the best. She found the job herself.

“She got tired of just hanging around,” he says.

Once the pandemic travel restrictions loosened the whole family went to the North Shore of Oahu. It’s a surfing paradise. They’d booked two weeks. Two weeks turned into a month. They kept traveling together, chasing sunlight and water, Costa Rica, back to Hawaii, down to the islands, then to their little weekend place in Malibu. They surfed, they fished, they played dominos, they ate fresh seafood as the sun sank into the water.

They moved as a pack and that’s how I found them when I arrived in San Francisco last summer to meet Montana for the first time. He seemed like a case study in a psychology journal: forced to leave a job he did better than anyone who’d ever come before, forced to try to find a replacement for the time and passion that job required, forced to undertake that search while a kid who grew up idolizing him tore down his record and took his crown. If you wanted to understand the fragility of glory and legacy, Joe Montana isn’t a person you should talk to about it. He is the person.

“Look at Otto Graham or Sammy Baugh,” Joe says as we sit in his office during our first meeting, seeing his place in a continuum that existed before he entered it and will exist once he’s gone. He knows intellectually that comparison is a foolish talk radio game and yet. A bit later, unbidden, he says he wishes every living human could have the experience of standing on an NFL football field on a Sunday afternoon. Just to experience the way crowd noise can be felt in your body, the sound itself a physical thing, waves and vibrations rolling down the bleachers — 80,000 voices coursing right through you. Mickey Mantle sat in the rain in his car looking for that noise. Joe DiMaggio stared out at the San Francisco Bay hoping to hear it come through the fog. Even talking about it gives Montana chills. If the number of titles separates the men on the quarterbacking pyramid, then the memory of the game, the feel of it, connects them. That’s Joe’s point about Otto and Sammy. “Those guys were so far ahead of the game,” he says. “I don’t know how you compare them to today’s game or even when we played.”

It’s the moment that matters. Not records. He was fine to let his trophies burn. He misses the moments. The moments are what he thinks about when he sits at home and watches Brady play in a Super Bowl. He’s not jealous of the result or even the ring. He’s jealous of the experience.

“To sit in rare air …” Ronnie Lott says, searching for the words.

“… is like being on a spaceship.”

Breathing rare air changes you. Every child who’s sucked helium from a birthday balloon knows this and so does Joe Montana and everyone who ever played with him. It’s the feeling so many kids hoped to feel when they slipped on the No. 16 jersey and let the mesh drape over their arms.

“He breathed rare air with me,” Lott says, and the way he talks about air sure sounds like he’s talking about love.

TOM BRADY RECORDED a video alone on a beach and again told the world that he was done with football. For good this time, he said with a tired smile. His voice cracked and he seemed spent. He’s a 45-year-old middle-aged man who shares custody of three children with two ex-partners. Next year he’ll be the lead color commentator for Fox Sports. This past year he’d just as soon forget. He retired for 40 days, then unretired and went back to his team, looking a step slow for the first time in his career, and finally retired again. Those decisions set off a series of events that cost him the very kind of family, the very wellspring of moments, that have brought Joe Montana such joy. Brady has fallen off the cliff that Steve Young described and faces the approaching 15 years that Jennifer Montana remembered as so hard. Tom’s book is now written. He will leave, as Montana did before him, the unquestioned greatest of all time.

“You cannot spend the rest of your life trying to find it again,” Young says.

Stretched out before Brady is his road to contentment. The man in the video has a long way to go. Montana knows about that journey. He understands things about Brady’s future that Tom cannot possibly yet know. On the day Brady quit, Montana’s calendar was stacked with investor meetings for the two new funds he’s raising. When he heard the news, he wondered to himself if this announcement was for real. Brady had traded so much for just one more try. On the field he struggled to find his old magic. His cheeks looked sunken. His pliability and the league’s protection of the quarterback had added a decade to his career. But along the way they also let his imagination run unchecked. Brady’s body didn’t push him to the sidelines. He had to decide for himself at great personal cost. Montana was never forced to make that choice. He had to reckon with the maddening edges of his physical limits but was protected from his own need to compete and from the damage that impulse might do. For all his injuries took from him, they gave him something, too.

This lengthy, deep-dive article on the life of the incomparable Joe Montana after the NFL is about one hell of a lot more than just football, and it’s simply one of the finest I’ve ever read, on any topic, ever.

One of the most astonishing-to-me aspects of the Montana story is that, despite being possessed of talent and ability that was as obvious as it was exceptional, Joe Montana never played for a coach who truly believed in him. Going all the way back to high school, they all did their level best to sideline him, to stymie him, at every level and in every way, including some damnably petty, personal ones. It’s beyond all comprehension, and redounds to the eternal discredit of said coaches, up to and including Bill Walsh.

You probably can’t see it here thanks to the NFL’s jealous protectiveness of its “intellectual property,” but the below vid is of what came to be known as The Catch, from 1982’s NFC Championship game against my once-beloved Cowboys. Yes, I saw it at the time it happened; yes, I was duly crushed, although I never hated Montana and the ‘Niners as much as I did the Steelers and their fabled defensive line, the nemesis of my ‘Boys in so many crucial games back then.

Trust me, no matter who you are or how you may feel about the NFL, Montana, San Francisco, or the ‘Niners, you’ll find something here that will move you and shake you like a blue-tick hound worrying at an old bone. Block out some time to read it all. It’s just incredible, and you’ll be very glad you did. Heartfelt gratitude to Weird Dave for the steer.

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

Fake Phony Fraud(s), S'faccim: two excellent descriptors coined by the late great WABC host Bob Grant which are interchangeable, both meaning as they do pretty much the same thing

Mordor On The Potomac: Washington, DC

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Burn, Loot, Murder: what the misleading acronym BLM really stands for

pAntiFa: an alternative spelling of "fascist scum"

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