Courtroom chimpout

I’m sure you’ve all read by now about the Vegas coutroom incident, wherein some recividist Nee-grow with a rap sheet longer than Lew Alcindor’s (later known as Kareem Abdul Jabbar after the inevitable conversion to Pisslam) arm took a flying leap straight into the Jungle Bunny Hall Of Fame by jumping a good twenty feet from a standing start into the lap of the (white, female) judge who had just had the RAYCISS!!© temerity to sentence his worthless ass to something harsher than the usual seven minutes of unsupervised probation and a fifty thousand dollar government gift card (as compensation for the hassle and inconvenience of lockdown), with a hearty “Hey, fuck dat sheeit white beeyotch!”

But what I bet you haven’t seen yet is the fine, fine animation Arthur thoughtfully tacked onto the end of his post on the matter.

I have only one thing to add in the way of commentary on this ridiculous, self-defeating monkeyshine.

That, of course, is the incredible Jesse Dayton and the Road Kings from Austin, Tecksizz </George Jones pronunciation>. We performed with Jesse and his crew once many, many moons ago—can’t remember where or when—and the traditional post-show exchange of CDs between headliners and supporting acts transpired, wherein I scored the Road Kings album off which the above tune was gleaned. Said album also features my personal favorite Road Kings song, to wit:

The above two, among many other excellent works. I remember Jesse being a really nice, kinda soft-spoken dude, and one heck of a slide player; haven’t seen, spoken with, or heard from him in way too many years now. He seems to have done quite nicely for himself since then, which IMHO is no more nor less than what such a surfeit of talent deserves. Good on ya, Jess.

Feisty, fearless, forthright

Don’t know much at all about him, not giving three whoops in Hell about the farcical 2024 Presidential “election” contest, but I gotta say: every time I read another attempted GOTCHA! story quoting the guy he leaves me nodding along in complete agreement.

In a fiery exchange last month, CNN anchorwoman Abby Phillip told GOP presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy that there was “no evidence” to support his claim that federal agents abetted protesters at the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021.

Ramaswamy shot back that the FBI conspicuously has never denied that law enforcement agents were on duty in the crowd. He argued that federal officials have repeatedly “lied” to the American people about not only that investigation but one that has gotten much less attention: the alleged failed plot to kidnap and kill Democratic Gov. Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan in 2020.

“It was entrapment,” Ramaswamy said. “FBI agents putting them up to a kidnapping plot that we were told was true but wasn’t.”

His zeroing in on the Michigan case highlighted an uncharacteristic development in contemporary politics, where progressives vigorously defend law enforcement power while conservatives view it with deep suspicion. Further, Ramaswamy’s linking of Jan. 6 and the Whitmer plot resonated with many on the right who want similarities between the two episodes exposed to the general public, especially the FBI’s reliance on informants and other paid operatives.

Our Gal Jules then dons the wet-suit, snorkel mask, and fins for a deep dive into the Superstate Stasi’s phonus-balonus Whitler “kidnapping” piss-puddle in her usual impeccably-thorough fashion.

As for Ramaswamy, although I gravely doubt his ability to A) get “elected,” and B) get anything useful accomplished even if he did, still, his heart sure seems to be in the right place at least, and God bless him for it. He’s not afraid to speak bluntly about topics the rest of the Vichy GOPe field shies away from like startled mustangs; better, he seems to be constitutionally incapable of taking a second’s worth of shit from slime-encrusted “journalist” bubbleheads, understanding as he obviously does that they’re going to mangle and/or manipulate whatever he says to promote the Press-Gaggle Panic O’ The Week© anyway.

Best of all, Vivek unblenchingly expounds on things you really don’t hear mentioned by anyone else, on either side—GOOD things, IMPORTANT things that not so long ago were universally-accepted American first principles that have become so objectionable nowadays they get any unevolved naif who so much as moots them for discussion—in any tone other than either horrified disapproval or snickering, supercilious disdain at the absurd ideas these subnormal provincials are willing to swallow—hysterically denounced as a “dangerous” “radical” “extremist” seeking to overthrow Our Sacred Democracy in favor of a dystopian-nightmare dictatorship.

Following his ritual denunciation, our witless knuckledragger will be Doxxed, Cancelled, ruined personally, socially, and financially, exiled from Polite Society, busted down to the lowly rank of Permanent Pariah—effectively, a sentence of life without possibility of either parole or pardon summarily handed down not just to him but his family along with him.

As if it wasn’t a dictatorship already, the contemptible cretins. But since FederalGovCo is a dictatorship conceived, installed, and run entirely by them, well hey, it’s okay, I guess. There are two distinct flavors of dictatorship, apparently. Given how fond shitlibs are of endlessly reminding one and all that they’re the Good People and all who dare to cherish divergent opinions assuredly are not, the dichotomy of dictatorship is as follows: Theirs=GOOD. Ours=BAD. According to them, this is a vitally crucially vital distinction to make.

Is it any wonder, then, that young Vivek hasn’t the slightest chance of becoming President in Amerika v2.0?

Back atcha Part the Eleventy-billionth

Things seem to be hotting up out there, and I have to say I like it. I like it a lot.

93-Year-Old George Soros Becomes the Latest Victim in ‘Swatting’ Prank Call
Southampton Village Police responded to the call reportedly made just before 9 p.m. last Saturday.

The unidentified caller claimed to have shot his wife and was threatening to commit suicide at the Soros mansion on Old Town Road.

Police response teams, including detectives and officers, were dispatched to the scene only to determine that the call was indeed a hoax after securing the premises and confirming with onsite security, The New York Post reported.

In addition to Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) who was swatted Christmas morning and Jack Posobiec whose parents were swatted again on Monday during a family gathering, Rep. Brandon Williams (R-NY) was swatted early in the afternoon. Fortunately, no one was injured and police went away with Christmas cookies

Boston’s racist Democrat Mayor Michelle Wu was also swatted on Christmas Day in what turned out to be a nationwide swatting epidemic over the holiday weekend. A Democrat former state senator in Nebraska was also swatted.

In addition to MTG, several other Repugs were on the receiving end as well, but no matter. Long as the shitlibs are getting theirs, I consider it a fine thing overall; if we want it to stop, there’s only one way to do it that I can see, and that’s to make sure we hurt theirs every bit as much and more than they do ours. I repeat: Get ‘em skeered, and keep the skeer on ‘em. Kurt Schlichter has long said that they aren’t going to like it when we start making them play by their own rules, and this is precisely how that happens. New category, since it looks like I’ll have use for it going forward: Keep the skeer.

(Via Henry)

Back atcha Part the Third

Keep the skeer on ‘em, as the greatest cavalry officer in history liked to say.

Maine secretary of state’s house ‘swatted’ day after Trump ballot disqualification decision: ‘Unacceptable’
The home of Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows was “swatted” Friday evening, police confirmed Saturday.

Maine State Police responded after an unidentified man lied about having broken into the house.

Bellows and her family were away at the time of the hoax call.

The incident comes after Bellows disqualified former President Trump from the state’s 2024 Republican presidential primary ballot late Thursday, citing Section 3 of the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which bans from office those who “engaged in insurrection” over his alleged incitement of the Jan. 6 riot.

Bellows made the ruling after some state residents, including a bipartisan group of former lawmakers, challenged Trump’s position on the ballot.

“Swatting” is when someone calls the police under dangerous false pretenses to trigger a law enforcement response, especially a SWAT team to a location.

On Saturday, Bellows called the swatting call “unacceptable” in a lengthy statement on Facebook. 

“Thank you for the messages of love and support,” she wrote. “I’ve been moved by every one and especially by those from friends and loved ones who disagree with my decision but have reached out to express love and respect.”

Bellows added that her staff had faced “unacceptable” and “non-stop threatening communications” on Friday after her decision.

Poor old Goodtime Charlie Jazz Shaw has his panties all in a wad over the SWATting. He is wrong.

This isn’t any sort of case of “all’s well that ends well.” As horrendous as Bellows’ decision to remove Trump from the ballot was, she described the swatting attempt as “unacceptable” and she is correct. This has become an increasingly common trend and it needs to stop. The majority of recent swatting incidents have been against Republicans, including Marjorie Taylor Greene and Congressmen Brandon Wiliams and Kevin Miller. But that doesn’t legitimize a similar attack on a Democrat official.

Swatting is extremely dangerous and people have literally been killed or injured by the police accidentally during these attacks. Filing false reports to the police is a crime and calls intended to produce stressful SWAT Team responses are among the worst. Also, we’re living through a time where crime rates are surging and the police are already overwhelmed in many cities. They don’t need to be wasting their time chasing false reports when there are very real crimes taking place that they need to be responding to.

Simply claiming “but the liberals do it” doesn’t make this any more acceptable.

Oh, doesn’t it? In a better, saner, more just world that would be so, sure. Unfortunately, this is NOT that world—and that is mainly because of the machinations of shitlib swine like the execrable Bellows and her ilk. Which fact, as far as I’m concerned, changes everyfuckingthing.

The only correct response would be to track down the people making these calls and lock them up for a long time as an example to others.

Again: in a just world, wherein the late, lamented rule of law still existed, sure. To date, however, there have been scores if not hundreds of SWATting incidents perpetrated by shitlib trash who specifically hoped to get their conservative victims unjustly arrested or mistakenly killed, and I know of exactly one (1) of the perps being arrested for it…after his victim WAS in fact killed, actually (the incident wasn’t sparked by politics, but over an even more insane reason: a stupid-ass video game).

Shaw’s daintily horrified response puts me in mind of one of my personal favorite LOTR quotes: “You won’t rescue Lotho, or the Shire, just by being shocked and sad, my dear Frodo.” It was true when Tolkien wrote it, and it’s true now, and all the more applicable for being non-fictional this time.

Live by the sword, die by the sword, bitch. As MisHum says, albeit in slightly different words, I am all out of fucks to give.

Update! This shit also puts me in mind of Jefferson Davis’s plea at the end of his first message to the Confederate Congress (Provisional), which inspired me to make a meme:

Same as it ever has, and ever will, it would seem. Here endeth the lesson.

Back atcha Part the Second

Take ‘em down, take ‘em down, take ‘em ALLLL the way down.

Noted Liar, Plagiarist, Racist Hate-Monger, And All Around Bonehead Claudine Gay Resigns From Harvard

I may possibly have fiddled around with that headline just a wee bit.

Harvard President Claudine Gay resigned from her position Tuesday after facing backlash over her response to antisemitism on campus and a plagiarism scandal.

Gay announced her resignation “with a heavy heart,” and said her stepping down is in the “best interest” of the university.

Gay’s resignation makes her tenure the shortest in the Ivy League university’s history, only serving six months and two days in her position, according to The Harvard Crimson, the university’s school paper. It is currently unknown who will be appointed to serve as an interim president in Gay’s place.

As she left, she committed yet another act of plagiarism on her way out the door. Apparently, the little sneak-thief just can’t help herself, having not a single original idea rattling around in her thick, empty skull.

CAMBRIDGE, MA — After facing weeks of pressure to resign following scandals involving campus antisemitism and plagiarism, Claudine Gay has announced she will step down as Harvard’s President. She delivered her remarks this morning in a tearful speech entitled “Gettysburg Address.”

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal,” began Gay to a crowd of tearful diversity studies students. “Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war.”

“I don’t really know what these words have to do with her resignation, but the words are so beautiful!” said one 4th-year student who attended the speech. “It’s a tragedy to lose such a gifted writer and orator.”

Sources say the crowd was moved to tears by the time the speech concluded. “I have concluded that because of the Watergate matter I might not have the support of the Congress that I would consider necessary to back the very difficult decisions and carry out the duties of this office in the way the interests of the nation would require,” she concluded. “Therefore, I shall resign from the presidency effective noon tomorrow.”

At publishing time, Harvard confirmed they were already interviewing several other communist black women to replace Gay.

Well, naturally. I mean, what else would a commie Wokester school want? Funniest bit of the entire hilarious story is the way shitlibs are squealing like stuck pigs over the scarifying notion that Real Americans might finally be learning to use their own scummy tactics against them.

Why does this matter? The fucking evidence is her own “work.” You don’t need any “conservative ideology” to see she has serially plagiarized throughout her very undistinguished “academic” career.

You know, sometimes conservatives will reject a claim only because a liberal is claiming it, and liberals will — sometimes correctly — note that this constitutes a rejection of empirical evidence.

Note that conservatives rightly reject leftwing speculations, suppositions, and interpretations of claimed facts, all of which can and nearly always do evince a maliciously partisan reading of the available evidence. But sometimes we also reject actual evidence because we know the people offering it always lie. And when we do that, the left screams that we’re “cultish” and “closed-minded.”

And yet leftists do this every single day. Not only do they do it, they admit doing it — proudly. They are proud to reject objective, empirical, irrefutable evidence for no other reason that they people discovering it are “dirty” and “deplorable.”

Some cults are Righteous and Holy.

Ayup. The simple fact is that, if you hope to defeat Leftism, you’re necessarily going to have get your own hands dirty doing it. The Enemy has demonstrated time and time again that the one, the ONLY thing that truly matters to them is winning, nothing else. That leaves decent people but one alternative: to fight back with equally single-minded zeal, commitment, and determination. Anything short of that is a sure-fire recipe for a defeat we can in no way afford. In sum: if you’re too high-minded, too prissily above-the-fray, to do whatever it takes to win, then you…won’t. Because really, you don’t deserve to win; not having what it takes to do so, you’ve proved yourself unworthy of it.

I never have and never will be a fan, but there’s really only one appropriate tune to celebrate this happy occasion.

Just say no

Buck Throckmorton has rapidly become the go-to guy for EV news, debunkings, and unpleasant realities, and there’s a very good reason for that. To wit:

Welcome to 2024! Since New Year’s Day one year ago, the “electric vehicle transition” has gone from being a foregone conclusion to being a rolling failure. Auto manufacturers who bought into the hype are looking at a catastrophic financial miscalculation, and typical car drivers have gone from being curious (at best) to being generally negative about purchasing EVs. I believe that the conservative media’s pushback against EVs has had a considerable impact.

In other words, 2023 was a very good year – a year in which we turned opinion against electric vehicles. The people who want a boutique, status-symbol EV can continue to buy Teslas. (But can we please kill off the taxpayer subsidies for Tesla?) For all the rest, let 2024 be the year when legacy automakers throw in the towel on the eco-communist EV experiment.

For today, let’s do our periodic update on the EV Follies…

“Ford cutting 2024 F-150 Lightning production plans by half, suppliers told; The news comes amid an industrywide pullback in EV investment due to slower-than-expected sales growth.” [Automotive News – 12/11/2023]

Ford Motor Co. is dialing back planned output of the electric F-150 Lightning pickup by half next year because of “changing market demand,” a steep pullback of a high-profile nameplate the automaker spent most of this year working to build in larger numbers.

Although I’ve enjoyed writing about how emphatically consumers have rejected Ford’s flagship EV, in fairness I should point out that the Ford F150 Conflagration Lightning is a spectacularly awful vehicle. Aside from its tendency to burst into flames, it performs poorly at towing, hauling for distance, and operating in the cold – the basic functionalities that are expected of a pickup truck.

The buried lede in this story isn’t that Ford is cutting weekly production of its electric pickup from 3,200 units per week to 1,600 units per week, rather it’s that Ford’s executives still think there is a market that will absorb 1,600 of these abominations per week.

*****

It’s not just Ford that can’t sell its EVs. Half of Buick dealers would rather surrender their franchises than have to sell General Motors’ atrocious EV offerings.

“GM buys out nearly half of its Buick dealers across the country, who opt to not sell EVs” [Detroit Free Press – 12/20/2023]

GM’s awful executives, with little understanding of automobiles or their customers’ preferences, think they can simply dictate what consumers should buy. GM dealers, who actually understand automobiles and what their customers want, know better.

General Motors said nearly half its Buick dealers took buyouts this year rather than invest in selling and servicing electric vehicles as the automaker’s brands transition to all electric by 2030.

That means GM will end 2023 with about 1,000 Buick stores nationwide, down 47% from where it started the year.

*****

General Motors is rolling out an electric version of its popular Chevrolet Blazer sport utility. Well, it’s trying to, but not very successfully.

“2024 Chevy Blazer EV sales are already halted over software issues” [Elektrek – 12/26/2023]

Dozens of potential customers will have to keep waiting.

Ah well, I guess it’s nice to know it will impinge on mere dozens of the poor, pitiful fools; could be worse, could be hundreds. Nice also to see a few major manufacturers finally pushing back against being force-fed this fascistic, auto industry-killing program of FederalGovCo’s devising, instead of just lying back and taking it without demur as they have been up till now. Lots, lots more disincentives to buy into the goobermint’s credulity-straining propaganda push for these abominable, exorbitantly overpriced boat-anchors over at the Ace Place.

The year that was

David Thompson offers a whole year’s worth of reasons intelligent, rational people despair of the very concept of “human” “progress” as nothing more than a laughable conceit.

The year began with a tale of oysters and college lesbianism, via Bon Appétit magazine, in which Brooklynite pronoun-stipulator Isha Maratha was keen to overshare. For Ms Maratha, “My first time eating an oyster was an act of queer intimacy.” Indeed, we were told by an obliging editor, “The act of eating an oyster uniquely and intimately expresses her queerness.” And so, we were regaled, at length, with descriptions of mollusc-gobbling, stolen glances, and lemon wedges being squeezed. “There is something uniquely unspoken,” we learned, “between the eater and the eaten.”

We also pondered mass fare-dodging, now at record levels, and its progressive defenders – including those employed to maintain public transport – and whose pre-emptive disapproval of anyone noticing such crimes was remarkable in its vehemence and uniformity. The effects on social trust of a large and growing minority disregarding the law and norms of behaviour, and doing so with a learned impunity, is apparently something one shouldn’t – and mustn’t – register or explore. Because, in the progressive world, noticing habitual and brazen thievery is much worse than indulging in it. And obviously racist.

And we visited the pages of Scientific American, where wokeness is ascendant and thinking simply isn’t done. In particular, an “important analysis” piece in which we were urged – by Tracie Canada, a “socio-cultural anthropologist” at Duke University – to fret about “the violence Black men experience in [American] football,” and in which we were told that the physicality of the sport “disproportionately affects black men.” This was framed to imply, but never establish, some systemic racial wrongdoing – “anti-Black practices” that are “inescapable” – rather than, say, being an unremarkable reflection of the sport’s demographics, in which, at professional levels, black players are a majority. Or to put it another, no less scientific, way – the risk of injury while playing a contact sport disproportionately affects those who actually play it. When this rather glaring logical error was pointed out by readers, the magazine’s editor-in-chief promptly accused said readers of “systemic racism.”

In February, we encountered a suboptimal substitute teacher named Lydia Lamere – formerly Christopher Lamere – who spent lesson time directing students to his overtly sexual TikTok account, and conscripting middle-school children into his cross-dressing psychodrama. When not discussing “kink” and preferred sexual positions with other people’s eleven-year-old children, Mr Lamere found time to tells us, “I’m not a predator, I’m just a woman who happens to be super tall and hot.”

Matters academic cropped up again via an eye-widening overview of racial “equity” policies in various schools and institutions, where expectations of competence are deemed racist and terribly problematic. In New York City, for instance, thanks to “disparate impact” policies, firefighters are no longer expected to be able to read the instructions on their own firefighting equipment. Likewise, in scrupulously progressive Ontario, it is now illegal to use a maths test to determine whether maths teachers actually possess the knowledge that they are being paid to convey in class. Such is the world of triumphant wokeness, in which “suspending proficiency requirements” – and denouncing diligence and competence as “white supremacy,” a wickedness to be shunned – will somehow “benefit” the children on whom these things are imposed.

We also marvelled at a contrived and unconvincing display of forgiveness by Guardian contributor Anna Spargo-Ryan, whose home was invaded in the night by a gang of sociopaths armed with carving knives. It turns out that when being robbed by habitual predators, the progressive thing to do is to sympathise with the creatures breaking into one’s home and driving off with one’s stuff in one’s own car. Ms Spargo-Ryan was hailed by her peers as a “beautiful person” for gushing with pretentious sympathy for her assailants and for wishing to see the burglars spared the normal corrective consequences, presumably so that they might go on to burgle the homes of others, including her neighbours. Which of course they were busy doing. Though it occurs to me that a person breaking into someone’s home in the middle of the night and stealing their possessions is sending a pretty strong signal about how much concern, or how little, the rest of us should have for that person’s wellbeing.

The Pronoun Game, so very much in fashion, cropped up in March, along with a demand that employers accommodate the made-up identities of insufferable narcissists. Even when those made-up identities can change several times a day, with such changes being signalled via colour-coded pronoun bracelets, pronoun earrings, and other pronoun-stipulating accessories. Accessories that all colleagues would be expected to monitor closely, lest “misgendering” ensue, followed by a visit to Human Resources. A scenario that inspired the question of exactly how much farce in the workplace might be considered excessive.

Thanks to Oxford University’s Department of Biology, we beheld some ostentatious fretting about the “numerous negative consequences” of obscure Latin names that almost no-one knows about. According to Assistant Professor of Conservation Science Ricardo Rocha, some “1,565 species of bird, reptiles, amphibians and mammals” are named after “white, male Europeans from the 19th and 20th centuries,” which is apparently a very bad thing. What with all that whiteness and maleness, you see. This legacy of legwork and exploration is, we’re to believe, oppressing the people of Zimbabwe and Botswana, for whom the Latin textbook names of lizards and beetles are foremost in their minds. We were also assured that would-be botanists and biologists are in some way being psychologically injured by the existence of this Latin taxonomy, and by the fact that much of the “flora of New Caledonia” is “named after a man.”

Read on for the rest of it, there’s lots more yet to come, alas.

Sour reviews

These are just hilarious.

The Worst National Park Reviews of the Year
There was nothing to do, I didn’t see a bear, and that snake harassed me

Visitors come from across the globe to set foot in our national parks. But some people are simply unimpressed.

The internet gives these people a place to air their grievances. Some now-classic bad national park reviews have made their way further, into illustrations, T-shirts, and needlepoints. “There are bugs, and they will bite you on your face,” they say. Or, “Trees block view and there are too many gray rocks.” “The water is ice-cold,” someone griped about Acadia National Park in Maine, making it onto a poster made by Subpar Parks, which documents bad reviews.

The complaints keep coming. I searched Yelp, TripAdvisor, and Google for the best and worst reviews of our national parks in 2023. To be fair, most of the complaints were about excessive crowds, traffic jams, and new reservation systems. But some visitors had, uh, more nuanced grudges regarding lackluster scenery or were shocked by the lack of amenities. Here are my favorites.

1. Yosemite National Park, California
In California’s Sierra Nevada, Yosemite offers giant granite monoliths, waterfalls, and Sequoia trees up to 3,000 years old. But not everyone sees the beauty.

“Really annoying that it is the same way in and same way out. Scenery is not breathtaking.” —TripAdvisor

“I need someone to explain to me the hype of this place. This place looks like any place with mountains and trees. Too many people, not enough stores, not enough places to buy food.” —Yelp

2. Hawaii Volcanoes National Park
On Hawaii’s Big Island, this park stretches from sea level to 13,680 feet, boasting two of the world’s most active volcanoes. It is not known for its racquet sports, though.

“Absolutely horrible disappointment. There wasn’t a single pickleball court in sight. You’d think with it’s [sic] extreme length of 2.93 mi (4.72 km), an extreme width of 1.95 mi (3.14 km), a circumference of 7.85 mi (12.63 km) and an area of 4.14 sq mi (10.7 km2) they’d find some space for one.”—Yelp

3. Great Smoky Mountains National Park, North Carolina and Tennessee
Straddling two states, GSMNP is 500,000 acres of towering mountains, remote streams, and the most biodiverse wilderness in America. That doesn’t keep the young ’uns from doing their thing.

“Some falls/streams had nothing but toddlers peeing & pooing in the water.”—TripAdvisor

“Can’t say this is one of my fave national parks. No bear sightings but that’s not the park’s fault. … [T]he haziness of it gave me huge headaches.” –TripAdvisor

The Great Smoky Mountains, hazy? Wow. Read on for the rest of the side-splitting list. Can vacationing Americans really be this thoroughly spoiled, clueless, and out of touch? Apparently so, alas. Wonder no more where the well-known European epithet dismissing Yank tourists as “Ugly Americans” might have come from.

Christmas music, forsooth!

As we come down the Christmas home-stretch, I thought I’d give y’all a little something special tonight.

Yep, that’s your humble host crooning that one, backed by the ever-fabulous Belmont Playboys. The audio was recorded, using acoustic instruments, on a crappy little hand-held cassette recorder at the pre-refurbishment Belk Theater adjacent to what used to be the old Carolina Theater on Tryon Street, where none other than Elvis himself performed back in 1956 on his drive to becoming the once and forever King of Rock and Roll. The video was shot (and later edited) by our old friend John Autry, former CLT city councilman and current NC Congresscritter, at the Van Landingham Estate in the heart of Plaza-Midwood.

The shirt I’m wearing was actually my brother’s, who probably still has it hanging in his closet. It was a little snug on me, there having been somewhat more of me then than there is now. John didn’t care for the two shirts I had brought along for the shoot, thinking it would be better if the front-guy wore something more colorful and less drab than my own threads.

You graybeards may recognize the TV set in the intro as being from the long-defunct Nashville Network’s old morning show, whatever it was called. It’s for real, not spliced in or otherwise faked: TNN aired our “Blue Christmas” vid for like three years hand-running at Christmastime, which definitely made our days that much more merry and bright. The above was taped on VHS the first time it ran by my old girlfriend Wendy’s mom, then converted to digital several years back by some local service our drummer Mark found.

Hitting the wrong target

Spurred on by this comment, I’m finally getting around to clearing out another one of those long-open tabs.

How Right-Wing Characters Become Sitcom Sensations

In spite of all the worst intentions of Hollywood shitlib producers and/or writers like Norman Lear, who thought he had himself a horse of a very different color in his overbroadly-drawn, intentionally-insulting caricature of what clueless pricks like him think your average Joe Lunchbucket is really like, that’s how.

Y’know, kinda like when a hoplophobic Leftard who’s never knowingly been in the same room with a firearm starts in regurgitating the nonsense they’ve gulped down about projectile weapons to some gun-savvy 2A individual, thereby unwittingly making a complete fool of Zhim/Xhrr/Theyselves without ever even realizing it.

If you’ve ever seen the television show Friends, you know that it’s about six young people in Manhattan, navigating romance, career, and friendships. Or is it? Maybe it’s actually about a homeless psychotic woman—the character of Phoebe, played by Lisa Kudrow—who peers into the window of the hip coffee joint and imagines the lives and adventures of the personalities she spies on, with herself as a beloved member of the group of friends. It’s all in her mind, all 10 seasons, and the theory is given a little bit of ballast by the series finale, in which the other characters move out of Manhattan and leave Phoebe alone, like the unmedicated schizophrenic she is.

According to this particular fan theory, anyway. Probably not what the creators and executive producers of the show had in mind, but if you think about it long enough, it starts to seem possible—maybe even preferable to the original.

Google the words “alternate interpretation of” or “fan theory for” and then insert the title of a popular movie or television show, and you’ll get a cascade of hilarious and often very dark results. It seems that people who love a show also love rethinking it from an entirely unexpected point of view.

If your show is indelible enough to inspire lunatic speculations from superfans, that’s what we in show business call “a high-class problem.” One of the ways you know you have a hit show on your hands is that your viewers quickly take ownership of the series. The characters become their characters, and whatever point the creators were trying to make, whatever message they were trying to send, utterly evaporates in the face of that kind of devoted fandom.

If you’re really lucky, this happens while your show is still on the air.

I noticed the same odd phenomenon in my own show-biz career: a fan would painstakingly explain to me after the show all about how the lyrics of a song he or she absolutely loved meant this, or that, or the other thing…and the interpretation would be at wide variance every time with what my actual intention was when I wrote the damned thing.

Eventually, I learned to just accept it and nod, shake the person’s hand, and mumble “Thagsverrmudge” in my best Fat Elvis voice, then move on to the next in line. Whatever a song was supposed to have been in the beginning, once it’s been released into the wild and audiences get hold of it the song is no longer exclusively your intellectual property—it’s now shared between you as the songwriter, the band you perform the song onstage with, and the audience, all of whom are assuredly going to exercise their right to make of your creation what they will.

I wasn’t at all bothered by this puzzling development myself, just considered it one of those strange, bemusing knuckleballs life tends to throw at you as a working artist in The Biz. You just gotta roll with it; who knows, the audience could well be righter about it than you know. But in the case of shitlibs like Lear, it can come back to bite ‘em on the ass in ways they never imagined it might.

In the early 1970’s, All in the Family captured the tumultuous controversies of its time. The show’s main character, Archie Bunker, was a reactionary bigot always mixing it up with his progressive, liberal son-in-law, Meathead. The show was designed by the producer Norman Lear to be a form of left-wing agitprop that would expound on the virtues of the younger, modern, and open-minded generation while exposing and mocking the petty small-minded prejudices of Archie. He would rail weekly against the changing American culture using scandalously edgy language that today is utterly unthinkable. Archie Bunker was supposed to be the butt of the joke, the dinosaur heading to extinction, a symbol of everything that was wrong with America in 1970.

The fans, though, refused to see it that way.

Archie Bunker caught fire with audiences. He became a national sensation, his catchphrases on T-shirts and lunch boxes and used in Johnny Carson monologues. The progressive writers and creators of the show may have thought Archie was the bad guy, but the audience saw a hard-working veteran who paid the bills and put food on the table—Archie held down two jobs!—all the while being forced to listen to his ultra-lefty layabout jobless graduate-student son-in-law tell him what a terrible person he was, often with his mouth full of a pork chop Archie had paid for. If Archie occasionally refers to Jews, African Americans, and homosexuals with hateful slurs, well, hey, the guy pays the mortgage. He’s earned the right to rant a little.

It helped that Archie was, by far, the most hilarious character on television at the time. Comedy writers, even really really liberal ones, naturally want to write for the character who brings the most heat to the screen. The more talented the writer, in fact, the more likely it is that he will sell out his principles for a really solid laugh. Still, it must have rankled Lear and his team to see Archie embraced by the audience, to realize that the character wasn’t theirs anymore—that the fans preferred their own version.

Had Google existed back then, and had you Googled “insane theory about All in the Family,” you’d probably be directed to something like this: “All in the Family is a show about a guy who dreams of being an empty-nester with his devoted wife but who instead is forced to support his married daughter and her lazy, super-woke husband. To get them to move into a place of their own, he does everything he can to drive them away, including loudly emitting a fusillade of reactionary notions. But the kids, especially his worthless son-in-law, are too lazy to move.”

Hollywood liberals keep making the same mistake. They try to create a right-wing villain and end up writing an audience favorite.

And you just know it’s gotta burn their asses up but GOOD. Sure hope so, at any rate.

Well, well, well, well, WELL

Now we know why they’re so desperately trying to get him locked up and out of sight, on whatever flimsy pretext they can conjure.


Update! Screengrab of the Poso Tweet, in case it doesn’t show up properly for ya above.

“Raising alarms among intel officials.” Yeah, I just bet it did at that, the fucking pond scum. Heartfelt apologies to any gobs of green slime afloat on small bodies of water who might take offense at the comparison.

THAT’S how you do it!

Effing BRILLIANT.

Good on you, sir. Via WRSA. Backstory and further details here.

Update! Ruminations on the Cassidy saga from Bayou Peter.

Speaking as a Christian and a retired pastor, I entirely approve of Mr. Cassidy’s actions. I would have contributed to his legal defense fund, except that it was shut down within three hours due to being oversubscribed. Clearly, many Americans feel the same as I do about him, which pleases me.

On Tuesday, “Gov. Kim Reynolds called the display ‘absolutely objectionable’ but said that ‘in a free society, the best response to objectionable speech is more speech’.” I agree with him, of course. Freedom of religion is constitutional, and should remain so. Equally, Mr. Cassidy is, IMHO, correct that any of the Founding Fathers, confronted with the same display, would do as he did, or take even stronger action. The Satanic Temple can protest all it likes that it doesn’t actually worship Satan as he is described in the Christian Bible, but is rather an atheist organization using that name. Nevertheless, the generally accepted understanding of Satan in all three of the great monotheistic religions – Judaism, Christianity and Islam – is as the root of all evil, a being from whom grace and goodness are utterly absent. They need not be surprised if people act on that understanding.

Most of all, I applaud Mr. Cassidy for his honesty. He acted, then took responsibility for his actions, and is prepared to stand trial for acting on his beliefs. Good for him! If his legal defense fund opens up again, I’ll be standing in line to contribute.

Much more at the link, all of it intriguing, thought-provoking stuff, as is BRM’s usual wont.

Short stop

A few thoughts from Diogenes Sarcastica.

I fully intend to haunt people after I die. I have a list.

Somewhere in the world there is a tree that sprouted the very montent you were born and has grown along with you all this time. And I think that is wonderful!

When my mother was pregnant with my little bro and we were on the side of the road struggling with a flat tire, a car with three men stopped, not to help but to ask directions to a local golf course. Mom sent them 15 mile in the wrong direction. She is the Legend that shaped me.

There are 13 minerals that are essential for human life, and all of them can be found in Wine. Coincidence? I Think Not!

I do feel bad about the confrontation tonight and the lady at Costcos with her son on a leash. Lady I’m sorry I asked if he was a rescue. The profanity wasn’t really necessary, but thank you for not siccing him on me.

Plenty more rich, buttery goodness where that came from, folks.

Poetic justice strikes again

Horrible, shocking, terrible, UNEXPECTED!

Fully Vaccinated and Boosted Piers Morgan Tests Positive for COVID-19 — Blames “Anti-Vaxx” for Catching the Virus
British television personality Piers Morgan has contracted COVID-19 despite being fully vaccinated and receiving a booster shot two years ago.

The hypocritical host of “Uncensored” announced the news via Twitter, expressed his frustration, and blamed the ‘anti-vaccination’ community for his infection.

The 58-year-old host shared a photo of his positive lateral flow test on Twitter, along with a candid description of his condition: “as rough as a badger’s a***.”

There’s only one way I can adequately express my emotional response to reading this sad, distressing news.

Too bad, so sad

The heart, it bleeds.

Dylan Mulvaney Suffers Total Embarrassment at Penn State
The “transgender influencer” who destroyed Bud Light is back, and this time he’s speaking on college campuses. Let’s just say that endeavor isn’t going any better than Mulvaney’s excursion into the beer industry.

According to The Daily Mail, Mulvaney was set to charge $40,000 a pop to show up and give speeches on college campuses. Whether Penn State (or whoever on campus brought him in) paid that much isn’t known, but what is certain is that whatever he paid was too much. Take a look at how many people showed up, or rather, didn’t show up.

The room Mulvaney was given holds somewhere around 1,000 people. To say the crowd missed the mark would be an understatement. There might be a hundred people there, and that’s probably being generous. Given this is the quality of what transpired, can you blame people for not showing up?

So, more of that “genocide” we’ve been hearing so much about lately, then.

Why do major brands give this guy money? What value is he providing? What customers are buying a product because they saw that Dylan Mulvaney endorses it? It’s astonishing to me that any marketing department would be dumb to pay him to do brand placement for them. The only thing I can figure is that it’s an easy way to get a company’s ESG score up.

Clearly, aside from being a target for mockery, there isn’t much actual interest in Mulvaney. Student-aged individuals are supposed to be his core audience, and no one is showing up to see him. Imagine being the person who wrote the check for that speech only to see him prance around in a cheerleader outfit for a few dozen people. How many homeless people could have been fed? How many Christmas presents could have been bought for foster children?

You miss the point, which is that you will be made to care—and endorse, and support, and stand up and applaud with utmost enthusiasm. Y’know, OR ELSE.

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

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