Hubris and Nemesis

Insurrection v2.0: It’s different when THEY do it

Posted on January 7, 2025January 8, 2025 by Mike

It’s all bullshit, of course, albeit fairly entertaining bullshit.

The Left Is Pushing Congress for an Insurrection on Jan. 6, 2025
Remember how Democrats were outraged — Outraged! — that some Republicans objected to the counting of the Electoral College votes back in 2021 over concerns that voter fraud tipped the election results to Joe Biden in key battleground states? The very idea of disputing the election results was seen as blasphemy and anti-democratic.

Yet the left is once again pushing for Congress to block Donald Trump from taking office, despite his overwhelming victory in 2024.

Evan Davis, the former editor-in-chief of the Columbia Law Review, and David Schulte, the former editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal, argue in a joint column in The Hill that Congress not only has the power to block Trump from taking office but should.

Their column doesn’t cover much new ground. It references Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, which disqualifies individuals who have engaged in insurrection from holding office, despite the fact that Trump did no such thing. Heck, he hasn’t even been charged with such an offense, and when you consider the fact that rogue left-wing prosecutors have charged him with all sorts of made-up crimes, that says something.

Disqualification is based on insurrection against the Constitution and not the government. The evidence of Donald Trump’s engaging in such insurrection is overwhelming. The matter has been decided in three separate forums, two of which were fully contested with the active participation of Trump’s counsel.

The first fully contested proceeding was Trump’s second impeachment trial. On Jan. 13, 2021, then-President Trump was impeached for “incitement of insurrection.” At the trial in the Senate, seven Republicans joined all Democrats to provide a majority for conviction but failed to reach the two-thirds vote required for removal from office. Inciting insurrection encompasses “engaging in insurrection” against the Constitution “or giving aid and comfort to the enemies thereof,” the grounds for disqualification specified in Section 3.

Davis and Schulte also cite the Colorado judicial hearing where a partisan court found Trump to have engaged in insurrection, which the U.S. Supreme Court eventually overturned. They really jump through a lot of hoops to give the appearance of a solid legal foundation for their argument.

Not only is the foundation of their argument weak, but they’re relying on partisan cases that all failed. They’re calling on Democrats to do exactly what was once considered an unprecedented attack on democracy, which not only undermined the will of the voters but also subverted the entire electoral process. The authors insist that it’s not okay to have doubts about an election where the Democrat was declared the victor, yet it is more than okay to use bogus arguments to prevent a Republican from taking office.

Then BRING IT, shitlib stupes. If you lackwits truly do want a Civil War v2.0—which to all appearances you do, you pus-nutted skinbags—I can’t think of a more sure-fire way of setting the already-short fuse on that particular powderkeg alight than something along these lines. Beats a book of those flimsy cardboard Diamond matches all to Hell and gone; half the time you can’t get so much as a feeble spark from those useless things anyhow, even when you try to strike two or three of ‘em in one go. As I’ve grown fond of saying re gun confiscation, stop running your fat, dried-semen-encrusted yaps and just DO IT awready.

Lord knows there’s no point whatsoever in trying to talk to people who flatly refuse to listen, hold Our Side in contempt, and deeply loathe not just We The People but everything we stand for as well. From what I’m seeing and hearing more and more of with every passing day, there’s a surprisingly substantial and steadily growing contingent of rough and ready, well-equipped, fed-up-to-the-eyeteeth Real Americans out there who very much look forward to stacking shitlib corpses like cordwood and just be done with the whole sorry mess.

And in light of all the hateful, hurtful things that have been done to and said of those true-blue Americans over the past five-ten years, the vile insults and predations they’ve had to endure and somehow bear up under, who can blame them for the fiery rage in their burning hearts? For the implacable desire to see themselves and their compatriots avenged at long, long last deeply inculcated in them by their uncaring tormentors?

They have had their rights and liberties rescinded, their dignity besmirched, their self-respect defiled. Their religious beliefs have been ridiculed as the ignorant superstition of grunting, knuckledragging primitives, the Deity they devoutly worship derided as “their nonexistent Sky God.” Their children have been taught to despise them and all their works as fiendish transgressions against Nature itself, self-evidently inferior to the myriad achievements of the self-proclaimed Enlightened. Their culture has been undermined, their values and traditions denounced as unjust and ill-intentioned, the uniquely successful society they and their forebears laboriously built over many generations rejected out of hand as exploitive, wasteful, and “unsustainable.”

And to cap it all off, they must now look on in stunned disbelief as their avowed enemies use the selfsame Constitution those enemies have for years griped was an archaic product of a less-civilized era, incomprehensibly written by a bunch of poorly-educated, overly wealthy male(!) slave owners(!!) in powdered wigs(!!!)—good enough for those lunkheads, perhaps, but completely irrelevant and inapplicable to our more advanced, modern world—for the purpose of unseating a duly-reelected President they don’t happen to like, against the clearly-expressed will of Serf Class oafs who have gotten above themselves and badly need to be reminded of their proper station by their self-proclaimed Betters.

Reluctant though I am to have to say such a terrible thing, as time ticks ever onwards the Hobbesian bellum omnium contra omnes looks more and more inevitable. So let’s get it the fuck on for reals, then. We’ll see how it works out for ‘em when all’s said and done.

Update! Always remember: just because the Left has been resoundingly defeated does NOT mean that they can be expected to give up, give in, or reconsider their lunatic positions. Far from it, it’s just not in their nature. For more on this, I refer you to Mike’s Iron Laws nos 873 and 24.

Oh, and speaking of resounding defeats, you just gotta love this:

Since Trump was successfully certified as the winner yesterday, I wanted to post something that I found humorous. The left was making all kinds of noise about an end run around the electoral college by signing on to the interstate compact, which is a deal cut between the leftie states that they will award their electoral votes to the candidate that wins the national popular vote. The compact goes into effect once the states signing on to it are equal to more than 209 electoral votes, so they aren’t quite there yet.

Had that compact been enacted, the electoral vote would have been the largest landslide in American history. The only state that went for Harris and was not a part of the compact was New Hampshire and its 4 electoral votes.

This means that Trump would have won by a margin of 534 to 4, or 99.25% of the total number of electoral votes.

I just can’t stop laughing over Divemedic’s last line, it’s too much. As I always say, some of us live and learn, then some of us just live, and never learn.

1

Short eyes

Posted on December 27, 2024December 27, 2024 by Mike

She spells it right out, and it’s funnier’n all hell.

That appears to be noted video game expert, ReichWingNaziDeathBeastXtian raconteur, self-proclaimed Carnivore, and all-round troublemaker Melonie Mac, a pulchritudinous young lass who—at least from the looks of her X/Twitter feed—pulls no punches, not one, not ever. Via our friend Phil, who says:

Saying out loud what everybody else has been thinking for the last 5 years.

Pretty much, yup. FULL DISCLOSURE: As I keep insisting re ((((Dem pesky JooJooJooJOOOOOZ!!!))), I have no problem whatever with gays qua gays, never have had. My problem is exclusively and entirely with the strident, in-your-face shitlib variety, for whom I have no use at all.

I assume that, towards the end of Melonie’s rant when she mentions “homos buying children,” she’s referring to this godawful news item.

Gay couple who showed off picture-perfect family gets 100 years in prison for horrific rape of adopted sons
A gay Georgia couple convicted of sickening sexually abuse of their two adopted sons will spend the rest of the lives behind bars.

William and Zachary Zulock, 34 and 36, were each sentenced last week to 100 years in prison without the possibility of parole, the Walton County District Attorney’s office announced.

“These two Defendants truly created a house of horrors and put their extremely dark desires above everything and everyone else,” said District Attorney Randy McGinley, according to WSB-TV.

The couple raised them under the guise of a happy home in an affluent Atlanta suburb.

But their supposedly picture-perfect life — Zachary worked in banking and William was a government employee — held a dark secret.

The couple were regularly forcing the boys to have sex with them, and would film the abuse to make pedophilic pornography.

Evidence showed they even bragged about the abuse to twisted friends, with one telling police Zachary once sent a Snapchat message reading “I’m going to f–k my son tonight. Stand by,” along with images of the boy being abused.

And they allegedly used social media to pimp the boys out to at least two men in a depraved local pedophile sex ring.

Sick fucks. Good luck in prison, freaks, God knows you’re gonna need plenty and to spare of it. From what various hardcore recidivist bikers have given me to understand over the years, you Short Eyes types tend to have it extremely rough on the inside.

3

2

Wait, did somebody say something?

Posted on November 27, 2024 by Mike

Oh fer Christ’s sweet sake.

Bolton: Gabbard’s Extreme Views ‘Are on a Different Planet’ — She’s ‘Unqualified’ to Lead Intelligence
Former National Security Advisor John Bolton claimed Tuesday on CNN’s “Newsroom” that President-elect Donald Trump’s pick to lead the intelligence community former Rep. Tulsi Gabbard’s (D-HI) views were “on a different planet.”

Host Jim Acosta said, “We’ve seen Matt Gaetz withdraw his nomination for attorney general. Should Tulsi Gabbard do the same for Director of National Intelligence?”

Bolton said, “Well look, she said many things publicly that I think disqualify her. These are not just because her views are extreme. They are on a different planet. they are the views of somebody who doesn’t understand anything about American interests. And to put her in charge of the office of the Director of National Intelligence I think, is malpractice. I think the effect it will have on foreign governments saying we’re not sharing intelligence with the United States if it’s going to come into the hands of somebody like that.”

He continued, “There are a lot of claims out there that’s why the basic practice of administration after administration and Senate after Senate, for all senior appointees, but particularly people nominated to sensitive national security positions, is before the Senate votes on them. they get a full field FBI background investigation. This is not picking on Tulsi Gabbard or anybody else. This is how you find out what’s really going on with with all of them.”

Bolton added, “This is a bad nominee I think of all the nominees Trump has put forward so far she and Matt Gaetz were in a class by themselves.”

Yeh, yeh, yeh. Whyn’tcha just shut your cakehole already, be of use for once, and go take yourself a flying fuck at a plate-glass window, asshole-eyes. At least THAT would have some appreciable entertainment value, with the likely added benefit of your being sliced to ribbons when the glass shatters as your mortally wounded ass sails through it, resulting in a blood-soaked, butchered meatpile inside the chosen establishment.—ideally, a dingy dive-bar in late afternoon, not too crowded, but by no means totally deserted either. A library; a vintage clothing store; a cigar/tobacco shop; a bakery; a bodega—none of those would have quite the same ooomph as a good old-school gin joint, in my view. At least in one of those alcoholically-correct barrooms, there’ll be plenty of day-drinking Old Soaks on hand as eyewitnesses for the blessed event.

Regardless of its commercial focus, the owner of said establishment doubtless won’t be too terribly chuffed at needing to get his broken window replaced all of a sudden-like, let alone the timbers-shivering prospect of trying to wheedle one of his lowlier employees—a barback, a busboy, a dishwasher, let’s say—into rolling out the mop and bucket to swab up the nightmarish lake of congealing gore and/or gobbets of shredded flesh without him/her huffily downing tools and stalking out sans the customary two weeks’ notice at the first intimation of an assignment as onerous as that.

On further reflection, however, the proprietor will fast come to realize that the former NSA’s spectacular swan-dive swan song was well worth the attendant expense, effort, and inconvenience for himself and his luckless lower-echelon staff. Upon such improbable wings have great fortunes, reputations, even legends taken flight and soared off into American history. Ask any owner of a Midtown Manhattan eatery in which a prominent Mafioso got whacked before a roomful of diners during a busy dinner shot about how said whacking affected his bottom line ever after, he’ll tell ya all about it: reservations booked solid for a year in advance; walk-in customers standing in lines at the front entrance that extend for six or seven long Avenue blocks; three-figure cash bribes slipped to maitre d’s to purchase a shitty table by the door to the kitchen; SRO in the bar area with patrons jammed in four deep to while away the hours with a high-octane libation or three as they wait for their ticket number to be called by the hostess, etc.

What the hey: five’ll getcha ten that nasty ol’ floor was overdue for some serious scrub-uppery anyhoo, even before the self-made oaf Bolton conjured the unique notion that it’d be a swell idea to attempt conjugal relations with a plate-glass window, capping off the unforgettable extravaganza by being rendered into tender, juicy Long Pig Kibbles & Bits (just add liquid, it make its own gravy!™) on the floor—flaccid, freshly julienned micropenis out, a-dangle, and in ready view.

Come ON, man! Stop pussyfooting around and just DO it already. Your public breathlessly awaits; don’t leave ‘em twisting in the wind like this, get right on down to brass tacks and git ‘er DONE, big fella! Beats those wan, deadly dull talking-head turns as a Faux News “expert guest-analyst” all hollow, and you know it every bit as well as everybody else does.

In any event, I gotta say that I do find it simply too, too adorable that Bloviatin’ Blowhard Bolton—a pluperfect dick with ears if ever there was one; the sine qua non, the ne plus ultra, the cum-laude instantiation of this grotesque de-evolutionary sub-strain—still somehow dares to dream that anybody gives a moist fart for anything he might say, on any topic whatsoever. It’s pathetic when you think on it, to be frank. One could almost pity the poor, deluded lower-bowel obstruction.

Almost.

2

1

Winding the Horn of Jericho

Posted on November 25, 2024November 25, 2024 by Mike

The shitlib retaining walls are cracking, creaking, and crumbling. It’s a joy and a wonder to behold.

This is why we’re so divided
The publishing industry isn’t exactly one that donated a lot of money to Donald Trump. They lean incredibly leftist and it colors just about everything they do. It’s part of why so much fiction today is absolute crap.

Admittedly, there’s enough blame to go around on that point, but it doesn’t help.

Yet the results of the election earlier this month make it pretty clear that most of the nation supported Donald Trump despite years of people like the publishing industry trying to shut down the man.

Hachette Book Group, though, seems to have understood what was going on. They announced a new imprint that would focus on conservative writers called Basic Liberty.

And, of course, the usual suspects are losing their minds.

But HBG has an opportunity here. If all these folks are leaving because the company is no longer kowtowing to the most obsessive and oppressive people on the planet, then they can hire people who understand that people from all walks of life actually read..or at least would if anything was appealing to them in the bookstore.

Since there are apparently openings, fill them with people who don’t see their jobs as the opportunity to advance their politics but as an opportunity to advance the joy of reading and sharing knowledge with the entire world.

In the meantime, I have no sympathy for these people.

These are the same people who have hounded literally anyone who dares disagree with them on anything for years.

They should get used to disappointment.

In the process, though, we should remember that people like this are why we’re so divided as a nation. While the right can’t help but see what the left thinks via their virtual monopoly on things like book publishing, as well as other aspects of the information and entertainment media, they haven’t a clue what anyone on this side of the fence thinks.

What’s happening at HBG is just a microcosm of what we’ve seen elsewhere. The primary difference is that these folks don’t have the power they think they do, apparently, which is just going to make them worse.

Disagree, if only slightly. Particularly when it comes to cultural institutions such as the entertainment/media/creative arts megalith, the Goosesteppin’ Left has practically ALL the power, and despite the recent spastic orgy of frothing hysteria, lip-quivering, head-shaving, juvenile hissy fit-pitching, and public dementia, they still do.

No, the primary difference is that now, for the first time in at least six (6) decades if not longer, Real Americans have at long last r’ared up on their hind legs, wheeled on their tormenters, snarling and with fangs bared, and begun to fight back against the rotten bastards—and lo, they have learned 1) that they are in fact strong, much stronger than they knew; 2) that by fighting back they can in fact prevail; 3) that, provided We The People set our hearts, our minds, our spirits, and our bodies to it, the Dismal Tide in fact CAN be turned; and 4) that making worthless, contemptible shitlib brats weep and wail like little Suzie Schoolgirl after she’s fallen into a mudhole wearing her newest, prettiest dress is in fact an extraordinarily easy thing to do. Supremely gratifying too, as an added bonus.

In defiance of all odds, appearances, and expectations, #4 very well may wind up being the most important, the most appurtenant, and the most effectual in both tactical AND strategic terms of them all. Whither, then, the visionary so gifted, so prodigiously farsighted, as to permit him to foretell such an unlikely turn of events: that, after numberless years spent placidly accepting that the metaphorical Brass Ring was and would forever remain well beyond the Real American grasp—an immutable Fact Of Life, in essence—the bleedin’ thing might in actuality turn out to be no more difficult to lay hands on than the TeeWee remote control device lying atop the cheap, ugly, bandy-legged old Rooms 2 Go coffee table a mere hand’s breadth distant from his slipper-shod feet, eh?

And so we arrive yet again at the inescapable conclusion: If you fight them, you may win. Then again, you may NOT. There is but one certainty, which affords no comfort whatever, cold or otherwise. To wit: If for whatever reason you DON’T fight them, you must surely LOSE. As has been said many times, in many places: the Goosesteppin’ Left is like the Terminator; you can’t reason with him, negotiate with him, or bargain with him. He’ll never compromise; he can’t be injured, he doesn’t bleed, bruise, or feel pain. He never tires, never sleeps, never takes a break. He is relentless, he is ruthless, he will never show mercy or regret. He just keeps right on coming at you, again and again and again, until one of you is DEAD.

OBLIGATORY MEA CULPA: No, the above passage is not an exact word-for-word excerpt of dialogue culled from the Terminator script, nor did I intend for it to be taken as such. Rather, it’s a from-memory approximation, with a few ad-lib embellishments of my own thrown in for spice.

But still. If it doesn’t sound familiar to you at this late date, then either you 1) are an imbecilic REE-tardt, B) a shitlib your own damned self (BIRM), or IV) simply haven’t been paying attention. In any event, there’s probably no hope for you; as such, all sane, aware, and even nominally-sentient beings should shun yore pig-ign’ant ass like a fucking Plague rat.

1

However much popcorn you have, it ain’t enough

Posted on November 10, 2024November 10, 2024 by Mike

Shitlib meltdowns: we’ve all seen ‘em, we all love ‘em, we’ve all laughed ourselves silly over ‘em, we all look forward to plenty more of ‘em in the days (years, hopefully) to come. Now Newsbusters collects the cream of the crud…SO FAR. One which I think is a particularly outstanding example of the genre:

“This is about a huge portion of our population who rejected the current system and what we have to solve for is why. We are the most prosperous and powerful nation in the world. This country is winning. I want to know why so many people in this country are feeling like we’re losing. Whether it is the economy, immigration, or for lack of a better term, ‘wokism’, we have now let misinformation become the accepted information. It has washed over us. Elon Musk, he buys Twitter and then he uses it almost exclusively to be a propaganda machine and we’ve accepted it. We’ve accepted a narrative that despite an actually great economic recovery, the vibes don’t feel good. So we want to reject it and get something else. And the person we are now betting on to change all of it is Donald Trump, a man who did two almost impossible things. He won the American presidency twice and he drove a casino into the ground. What will the future hold now that America has just decided we’re going to F around and find out?”

— Host Stephanie Ruhle on MSNBC’s The 11th Hour, November 6.

As is typical for these shrieking hysterics, not a single word of the above (beyond the first line) is actually, y’know, true. Yes, including “and” and “the.”

1

Can you say “weaponization of government,” boys and girls?

Posted on November 8, 2024November 9, 2024 by Mike

I knew you could.

EXCLUSIVE: FEMA Official Ordered Relief Workers To Skip Houses With Trump Signs
Whistleblower: ‘It’s almost unbelievable to think that somebody in the federal government would think that’s okay’

Pshaw. To YOU, maybe. Me, the only thing I find surprising is that you’re surprised—that ANYBODY would be.

A federal disaster relief official ordered workers to bypass the homes of Donald Trump’s supporters as they surveyed damage caused by Hurricane Milton in Florida, according to internal correspondence obtained by The Daily Wire and confirmed by multiple federal employees.

A FEMA supervisor told workers in a message to “avoid homes advertising Trump” as they canvassed Lake Placid, Florida to identify residents who could qualify for federal aid, internal messages viewed by The Daily Wire reveal. The supervisor, Marn’i Washington, relayed this message both verbally and in a group chat used by the relief team, multiple government employees told The Daily Wire.

The government employees told The Daily Wire that at least 20 homes with Trump signs or flags were skipped from the end of October and into November due to the guidance, meaning they were not given the opportunity to qualify for FEMA assistance. Images shared with The Daily Wire show that houses were skipped over by the workers, who wrote in the government system messages such as: “Trump sign no entry per leadership.”

It is unclear whether the same guidance was issued elsewhere in the country. The employees were part of a Department of Homeland Security surge capacity force team, meaning they volunteered from other DHS agencies to help an understaffed FEMA as it dealt with a second major hurricane in a span of just a few weeks.

The guidance came as the Biden administration was criticized over its sluggish response to Hurricane Helene in rural areas across the country. In Roan Mountain, Tennessee, for example, locals told The Daily Wire it took nearly two weeks for FEMA to show up. The town is located in Carter County, which voted 81% for Trump on Tuesday.

HOME TRUTH: This is who they are, it’s what they do. Get your head around that, or get clobbered by it. Search for a better, more palatable option all you like, but there ain’t any.

Infuriating update! After reading Ace’s post on this same topic, it occurred to me that I really needed to include this bit here, if only in fairness to the fine folks at FEMA. See, it’s not as if the morally-handicapped degenerate responsible for this mind-blowing indecency wasn’t duly punished. Not a-tall. From the original article, which was updated after the above post with an official statement from FEMA. To wit:

After publication of this story, a FEMA spokesperson told The Daily Wire it was “deeply disturbed” and “horrified” by the employee’s actions, and that it has “taken extreme actions to correct this situation.”

“We are horrified that this took place and therefore have taken extreme actions to correct this situation and have ensured that the matter was addressed at all levels. Helping people is what we do best and our workforce across the agency will continue to serve survivors for as long as it takes.”

Bold mine. So what, you might wonder, does FEMA consider “extreme actions” in this instance of bureau-rat arrogance run completely amok, then? What does this spokesbeing mean by “addressed at all levels,” you ask? Was the vicious BiQ (Bitch in Question—M) reprimanded? Forced to undergo in-house “counseling?” Suspended without pay? Fired? Arrested, fined, imprisoned? Put to death? What, what, what, what?!?

Oh, just this.

The employees say that Washington has not been punished for the guidance, but has been shifted to another county in Florida.

WOW, they really brought the hammer down but good on this wayward but fundamentally decent, caring “public servant,” didn’t they? Poor dear, I do hope she’s okay after being punished so harshly for her “mistake.”

Fuck me runnin’. In the spleen, with a rubbing-alcohol soaked cattle prod set on Incinerate.

I repeat: You don’t hate these FederalGovCo shitbags NEARLY enough. You can’t, it’s unpossible.

Updated update! Ron the Great isn’t what you’d call entirely happy about this petty, vindictive bureau-shite.

The blatant weaponization of government by partisan activists in the federal bureaucracy is yet another reason why the Biden-Harris administration is in its final days.

At my direction, the Division of Emergency Management is launching an investigation into the federal… https://t.co/3uFpE62vxb

— Ron DeSantis (@GovRonDeSantis)

November 8, 2024

“Show more” cirumvention.

At my direction, the Division of Emergency Management is launching an investigation into the federal government’s targeted discrimination of Floridians who support Donald Trump.

New leadership is on the way in DC, and I’m optimistic that these partisan bureaucrats will be fired.

Here’s hoping your optimism turns out to be justified, Gov; after so many years of watching them come to naught at the federal level, I can’t honestly say I have a hell of a lot of faith in government “investigations” anymore.

Frankly, it would suit me better if half the goddamned goobermint was summarily flogged, ridden on a rail, splashed about in the Potomac, dragged behind a pickup down Pennsylvania Ave, and flayed alive at high noon tomorrow on the Washington Mall. This twice-yearly whoopjamboreehoo—call it the People’s House Cleaning Carnival, say—would close out with an open-to-the-public pissing-upon of whatever is left of the miserable worms.

After the beatings are done and the meat wagons have been loaded and are headed on back to the county morgue, we’ll throw an open-bar BBQ blowout on the White House lawn (real Eastern NC BBQ, that would be: smoked oinker doused to taste with Texas Pete, not that ketchup-slathered brisket glop which lesser breeds without the Law embarrass themselves by calling “barbecue”—either Sun Drop or draft beer to wash it down; any fool who requests Pepsi, Mountain Dew (shudder), or some nasty energy drink that tastes worse than the sweat off a hippie’s unwashed scrotum-sac will receive one (1) complimentary throat punch for being a blaspheming dorksnort), a daylong par-TAY which will include many popular attractions such as:

Live music performed by bands who are actually, y’know, good
The Globe Of Death
A Coney Island-style freakshow tent
Another tent with smoking-hot strippers
Dunk-A-Senator booths; feature dunk-ee appearance by the Right Honorable (???) Lindsey Graham at five PM, don’t dare miss it
A big-ass dance floor
A fireworks show when darkness has fallen
Funnel cake
Tilt-A-Whirl!
Demolition Derby, open to all—run whatcha brung, first come, first served; helmets, goggles, gloves, and other safety equipment for drivers will NOT be provided; bring your own, or don’t—it’s your ass, pal, we can’t be assed about it one way or the other. What do we look like, anyhow, your fuckin’ mama or sumpin’?
All-female hot dog-fellating contest; age 18-32 ONLY, valid proof of age must be submitted to a registrar at the sign-up table. Nathan’s Bun-Length Franks are contest standard-issue; footlong dogs are also available by request; any contestant who so requests will have extra-credit points added to her score immediately, for showing proper competitive spirit, aspiration, will to win, and spunky, fun-loving attitude

Approved participants must remove any/all shirts, brassieres, vests, two-piece swimsuit uppers, tube tops, robes, or other waist-up garment of any kind before her scheduled time-slot to mount the stage; clean, never-used cardboard containers with each individual contestant’s name written legibly in black Sharpie on the top will be arranged backstage for convenient storage of shucked clothing until such time as contestant is ready to cover up her fun-bags again
BOTH nipples shall remain fully exposed and open to easy view throughout the event, even if a contestant has been defeated or disqualified and has left the stage. Rule of thumb: whenever the entrant is inside the roped-off contestants’ area, contest rules require her to let them puppies breathe
Any premature, unsanctioned concealment of either both or one (1) of contestant’s nipples—even partially, even inadvertently, accidentally, or unwittingly—shall constitute sufficient grounds for disqualification if, and only if, the infraction was personally witnessed by a contest official, who, at his or her own discretion, may or may not report the infraction for further action; third-party verbal reports will be disregarded as unconfirmed
Luscious, good-looking babes ONLY, please; plug-uglies, manatees, withered old hags, and scary, brick-faced bull daggers need NOT apply
Bonus points will be awarded to minimally freckled, well-built, juggalicious redheads by our contest judges
A car show: rat rods welcome; no trailer queens; vandalism and/or mechanical sabotage of foreign makes, irrespective of vintage and/or condition, will be not just tolerated but actively encouraged
Absolutely NO (0) mimes, clowns, jugglers, cutesy arts ’n’ crafts peddlers, annoyingly persistent, piss-drunk-by-noon caricature artists, evangelical vegans, or unfunny standup comics allowed—we mean it, don’t even try

This hellacious hullaballoo is intended pour encourager les autres, as per usual. This incredible event, offering something for all ages, interests, backgrounds, and tastes, is shaping up to be one for the record books, folks, an entertainment extravaganza not to be missed. Get here anyway you must—fly, drive, spit on your ass and slide, crawl on your face over broken glass—just make sure you DO get here!

THERE. Now if that wildly eclectic bill of fare isn’t rambunctious enough to make DC’s last surviving bureau-rats take to their heels and flee to more congenial environs, then I’ll cheerfully eat my hat.

1

Peanut’s revenge

Posted on November 6, 2024November 6, 2024 by Mike

Speaking to us from beyond the grave.

A squirrel ran across the stage while everyone was waiting for Kamala’s concession speech. 👀pic.twitter.com/KstpSlxmEj

— Laura Powell (@LauraPowellEsq)

November 6, 2024

Can there be any serious doubt about what’s going on here? I THINK NOT. Thank you, Peanut!

(Via Ace)

4

3

1

Sore losers, sour grapes

Posted on November 6, 2024November 6, 2024 by Mike

Lots of hilarious, uplifting pictures of tearful shitlibs drowning in their own sweet sorrow here, as well as this:

Harris’s delay in addressing her own supporters have left some furious.

Barbara Heineback, a former White House staffer and the first black press office employee for the First Lady’s office, said she was disappointed with the Democrat.

‘I am so disappointed and really insulted that I’m a Howard alum and that she didn’t have the decency to walk out and say to her, to her university, make a comment to the United States,’ Heineback said. ‘Things were not looking well for her. It wasn’t completely over.’

‘I mean, it shows us how classless she actually is, a sore loser,’ the former White House staffer continued. ‘Even though it’s painful for her, for the Democrats, I think America might be relieved at recognizing and realizing they don’t have to put up with this any longer.’

Nailed it in one, Ms Heineback. As Midwest Chick notes, at least one of these assholes appears to be capable of waking up and learning something, if you force it down their fucking throats.

APOCALYPSE NOW!

Posted on November 6, 2024November 6, 2024 by Mike

I love the smell of liberal tears in the morning. Smells like…victory.

Update! Insty:

SO KAMALA DIDN’T SPEAK LAST NIGHT, AND DIDN’T CALL TRUMP TO CONCEDE. A (female) friend messages: “Charming that the Democrats have twice put up a woman against Trump, who gets too drunk the night of elections to give a concession speech.”

They’re not sending their best people. Or heck, maybe they are . . .

Heh. Indeed.

Updated update! Just hit me that I’ve gotta get busy getting the Scrooge Picard theme up and running quick as I can. Why, you ask? Because for once, Christmas truly did come early this year, of course. 😉

3

4

2

The Coming Unpleasantness©

Posted on November 1, 2024 by Mike

Lee Smith uncorks a swing-for-the-fences blast that lands way up in the cheap seats.

Is The Left Preparing For War If Trump Wins?

A: Yes. Yes, they most certainly are—a war that they will start, but that Real Americans have no choice but to win. Onwards.

The propaganda campaign labeling Donald Trump as an aspiring dictator determined to use the military and national security apparatus against his political opponents is designed not to affect the upcoming election but rather to shape the post-election environment. It is the central piece of a narrative that, by characterizing Trump as a tyrant (indeed likening him to Hitler), establishes the conditions for violence — not just another attempt on Trump’s life, but political violence on a massive scale intended to destabilize the country.

As I write in my forthcoming book Disappearing the President, Democratic Party research and media reports show that many senior party officials and operatives are preparing for the possibility of a Trump victory. Accordingly, planning is focused on undermining the incoming president with enough violence to rock his administration. Prominent post-election scenarios forecast such widespread rioting that the newly elected president would be compelled to invoke the Insurrection Act. With some senior military officials refusing to follow Trump’s orders, according to the scenarios, the U.S. Armed Forces would split, leaving America on the edge of the abyss.

By vilifying Trump as a despotic madman who must be stopped before he can commence his reign of terror, the regime’s propaganda apparatus not only slanders Trump but also pre-emptively threatens the reputation, as well as the livelihood and perhaps the liberty, of current military personnel. The point is to push the military against Trump: When the time comes to act, will you stand for democracy or side with a tyrant who sees the military only as an instrument to advance his personal interests?

For instance, last week the Atlantic’s editor-in-chief, Jeffrey Goldberg, quoted former Trump administration officials claiming that the Republican candidate is contemptuous of America’s armed forces and, according to Trump’s former chief of staff, John Kelly, wishes he could command the same respect that Hitler commanded from his general officers.

This is not the first time that Trump has been compared to Hitler or that Kelly, a retired Marine general, turned on his former commander-in-chief. Kelly was the key source for a story published before the 2020 election, also in the Atlantic and also by Jeffrey Goldberg, that alleged Trump had called American WWII soldiers buried in French cemeteries “suckers and losers.”

The veracity of Kelly’s latest revelation that Trump admires Hitler must of course be judged against the fact that he waited five years to disclose it, even if it is unlikely to have much effect on the current election cycle. The military, and veterans of the Global War on Terror in particular, overwhelmingly support the candidate opposed to waging endless and strategically pointless foreign wars. Moreover, Trump has weathered far more damaging fabrications — like the false allegations that he had been compromised by Russian intelligence — that only galvanized support for him.

The purpose of the Hitler narrative is not to alter the electoral preferences of left-wing media audiences already solidly in the anti-Trump column, but rather to justify taking extreme measures against the Republican candidate and the America First movement and ensure that the bulk of the military sides with the anti-Trump plot. Thus, it is best understood in the context of recent accounts promising, or urging, violence after the November vote.

Annnnd bingo, there it all is. You might think of this as a sort of companion-piece to tonight’s Eyrie offering, neither of which you want to miss a single word of. Read both of ‘em in their entirety, and then…just think about it while you’re loading mags.

1

2

1

COMING SOON: Open season on “liberals,” no bag limit

Posted on October 27, 2024October 27, 2024 by Mike

Wow. Just…WOW.

Some Democrats and pro-Kamala Harris influencers have been sharing a viral photo purported to be proof Harris worked at a California McDonald’s. But the photo is a doctored image stolen from the memorial page of a deceased Canadian cancer victim. Read: https://t.co/GASDhDGgxh

— Andy Ngo 🏳️‍🌈 (@MrAndyNgo)

October 26, 2024

Lies, damned lies, statistics…

Posted on October 22, 2024October 22, 2024 by Mike

And the Atlantic liberal-propaganda rag.

Atlantic Writer Claims Trump Got Angry at Paying for Soldier’s Funeral, Deceased’s Sister Responds
You really do not hate journalists enough.

Some guy named Jeffrey Goldberg at the Atlantic recently shoveled out another Trump Derangement Syndrome screed, claiming Le Bad Orange Man got angry at the bill for a deceased soldier’s funeral that he offered to pay for back in 2020, which reportedly cost $60,000.

For additional context: Spc. Vanessa Guillén was murdered in Fort Hood, Texas, by a fellow soldier in April of 2020. Ryan McCarthy, who was Secretary of the Army at the time, investigated her murder. President Trump expressed his condolences to the family and hosted them at the White House, offering to pay for the funeral.

Here is where the story starts sounding like it was made up:

In an Oval Office meeting on December 4, 2020, officials gathered to discuss a separate national-security issue. Toward the end of the discussion, Trump asked for an update on the McCarthy investigation. Christopher Miller, the acting secretary of defense (Trump had fired his predecessor, Mark Esper, three weeks earlier, writing in a tweet, “Mark Esper has been terminated”), was in attendance, along with Miller’s chief of staff, Kash Patel. At a certain point, according to two people present at the meeting, Trump asked, “Did they bill us for the funeral? What did it cost?”

According to attendees, and to contemporaneous notes of the meeting taken by a participant, an aide answered: Yes, we received a bill; the funeral cost $60,000.

Trump became angry. “It doesn’t cost 60,000 bucks to bury a f***ing Mexican!” He turned to his chief of staff, Mark Meadows, and issued an order: “Don’t pay it!” Later that day, he was still agitated. “Can you believe it?” he said, according to a witness. “F***ing people, trying to rip me off.”

Goldberg at least had the honesty (shocking, I know) to say that Trump spokesperson Alex Pfeiffer denied that this event happened, saying, “President Donald Trump never said that. This is an outrageous lie from The Atlantic two weeks before the election.”

Mark Meadows, Trump’s Chief of Staff at the time, is also calling the story fake, saying he was in the room when this “incident” happened:

I was in the discussions featured in the Atlantic’s latest hit piece against President Trump. Let me say this.

Any suggestion that President Trump disparaged Ms. Guillen or refused to pay for her funeral expenses is absolutely false.

He was nothing but kind, gracious, and wanted to make sure that the military and the U.S. government did right by Vanessa Guillen and her family.

Of course, one might expect Trump staffers to take up for their boss, rightly or wrongly; thus, including them in his hate-piece is Goldberg’s not-quite-clever way of inoculating himself against accusations of bias, which would be entirely accurate. But what does the grieving sister of the deceased have to say about it? Nothing whatsoever good for Goldberg and his fellow Atlantic liars.

Wow.
I don’t appreciate how you are exploiting my sister’s death for politics- hurtful & disrespectful to the important changes she made for service members. President Donald Trump did nothing but show respect to my family & Vanessa. In fact, I voted for President Trump today. https://t.co/o8cDrKOKBV

— Mayra Guillen (@mguilen_)

October 22, 2024

Pretty much dispositive, I’d say. Like the man says, no matter how much you hate them, you don’t hate them enough. You couldn’t, really, it isn’t possible to.

2

Opposite Rule, exemplified

Posted on October 17, 2024October 17, 2024 by Mike

This. This. Right. HERE.

Your “See more…” workaround.

They put Bannon in prison.

They put Navarro in prison.

They are trying to bankrupt Gateway Pundit.

They indicted the CFO of Epoch Times.

They are investigating Elon Musk.

They are trying to put Donald Trump in prison.

They are trying to disbar Jeff Clark.

They disbarred John Eastman and debanked him.

They arrested the doctor who blew the whistle that a Texas hospital was illegally performing gender reassignment surgeries on minors.

They indicted and disbarred Rudy Giuliani.

They spied on Catholic Churches.

They put concerned parents who went to school board meetings on the FBI watchlists.

They imprisoned 1500 protestors, most first time nonviolent offenders.

But Donald Trump is going to weaponize the government to go after his enemies?

Kinda says it all, don’t it? As codified in Mike’s Iron Law #462, actually.

5

3

2

JD hits ’em AGAIN

Posted on October 13, 2024October 14, 2024 by Mike

Good and hard, too.

J.D. Vance Destroys ABC News Anchor for Downplaying Immigrant Gang Violence
Sen. JD Vance appeared on ABC’s “This Week” Sunday morning, during which Martha Raddatz attempted to downplay concerns about Venezuelan gangs taking over apartment complexes in Aurora, Colo.

It did not go well for Raddatz.

The conversation took a turn when Raddatz tried to brush off the issue by labeling it as “a handful of apartment complexes,” but Vance wasn’t having any of it.

At the heart of the exchange was Raddatz’s pushback on Donald Trump’s remarks about violent gangs in American communities, which the mayor of Aurora, Colorado, has downplayed. Raddatz couldn’t quite get her narrative straight, however.

“He’s making these statements that the mayor is flat out disputing,” Raddatz said of Trump.

But Vance, quick to catch the spin, responded: “Well, Martha, you just said the mayor said they were exaggerated,” to which Raddatz attempted to cover herself, by saying they were “roughly exaggerated.”

And that’s when Raddatz really stepped in it.

“Senator Vance, I’m gonna stop you because I know exactly what happened,” she claimed. “I’m gonna stop you. The incidents were limited to a handful of apartment conflicts apartment complexes, and the mayor said our dedicated police officers have acted on those concerns. A handful of problems.”

And that’s when Vance pounced.

“Only, Martha, do you hear yourself?” he said. “Only a handful of apartment complexes in America were taken over by Venezuelan gangs, and Donald Trump is the problem and not Kamala Harris’s open border.” Vance’s frustration was palpable as he pointed to the broader issue of America’s border crisis and the consequences of millions of unvetted migrants entering the country. “Americans are so fed up with what’s going on, and they have every right to be. And I really find this exchange, Martha, sort of interesting because you seem to be more focused with nitpicking everything that Donald Trump has said rather than acknowledging that apartment complexes in the United States of America are being taken over by violent gangs.”

“Only a handful”—which, naturally, is perfectly fine with shitlib scum like Raddatz and her loathsome ilk, for whom the only real problem is not that this is happening at all but that it isn’t more widespread than it already is. Here’s the vid:

Raddatz: “The incidents were limited to a handful of apartment complexes… A handful!”@JDVance: “Do you hear yourself? Only a handful of apartment complexes were taken over by Venezuelan gangs and Donald Trump is the problem and not Kamala Harris’ open border?”

🔥 pic.twitter.com/VY4Ai35YJk

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom)

October 13, 2024

We could do a whole lot worse than JD Vance as Veep, or even President. And almost certainly will.

Update! Slammin’ Schlichter nails ‘em to a cross.

So damnably predictable, this Progressivist progression.

Updated update! Upon further reflection, this story underscores the divide, providing proof positive of the insuperable nature of the fundamental conflict in Amerika v2.0: “people” like Martha Raddatz will never, ever understand why Real Americans like Vance find even ONE apartment complex being taken over by violent, criminal foreign gangs unacceptable.

Yet somehow, we’re expected to find some way, ANY way, to live cheek by jowl with “liberal” shitweasels, as opposed to just exterminating them like the plague-rats they are? And any failure to do so is nonetheless OUR fault and not theirs, because “racist bigots,” or “Trump is Literally Hitler,” or some other such folderol? Sorry, NO.

In JK Rowling’s fantastic Harry Potter series, Professor Trelawney’s cryptic prophecy regarding Harry and Lord Voldemort includes a line that really says it all: Neither can live while the other survives. That’s as good a summary of the current contretemps as I can think of right offhand.

They’d probably object to me saying so in this context, but the lyrics of this thoroughly awesome Disturbed song fit the bill pretty neatly.

“Turned into someone who cannot be preyed upon…” If they fear anything at all, that would have to be it, in my estimation.

3

Catastrophic near-miss

Posted on October 10, 2024October 10, 2024 by Mike

Oh frabjous day, calloo callay! Well, almost.

Anderson Cooper drilled in face by flying debris during live on-air Hurricane Milton report: ‘That wasn’t good’
Cooper, known for his on-site coverage of hurricanes, took the incident in stride and continued his report of the water from the Manatee River rising above the river bank and onto the walkway above.

Aw dammit, I was rooting for casualties when I saw the headline. According to the article the “flying debris” in question was only a small piece of styrofoam (sigh) and not a brick, iron bar, V8 engine block, live alligator, or something else a bit more, umm, lethal, shall we say. Oh well—next time, perhaps.

2

1

CF Search

Login, RSS, &c

CF Archives

Categories

2A/Mostly Guns

Alt-American

Big Dogs

Essayists

Mil

Nuttin’ But News

Odds Bodkins

Overseas/Non-US

Portals

Pure Bloggery

REAL Journalism

Substack Scalawags

The Funny Pages

Comments policy

CF Glossary

Subscribe to CF!

Shameless begging

Correspondence

Allied territory

Notable Quotes

RSS feed

.