Of the thousands, perhaps even millions, of CF-related spam emails I’ve received, snarled at, and summarily deleted over lo, these many years, this one has to be my personal favorite. C&P’d in its entirety:
FROM: HR & Admin – Coldfury <james@prestouniversal.com>
TO: E-mail (CF)
SUBJECT: Coldfury Employees Performance Appraisals – June’25Dear Gentlemen,
Please find below the link to the current month’s employee performance appraisals for June 2025.
https://staff.coldfury.com/inter-records/report-2025/
Note: All names highlighted in red indicate employees who are due for termination.
Your prompt attention to this matter is highly appreciated.
Best regards,
HR Manager
Human Resource Department
hr.director@coldfury.com | Headquarter
Wow, turns out I have not only an HR department but also an HQ, even an unspecified number of “employees” who can actually be “terminated” at the discretion of my (nonexistent) HR Manager, whose actual name I can’t seem to recall right now for some reason. Better still, my phantasmagorical “HR Manager” refers to me as a “Gentlemen” in interoffice correspondence. Who knew?
No, of course I didn’t click on the link to view the “employee performance appraisals” report, but I confess I’m mighty tempted to, if only to giggle like a delighted little girl at the no doubt voluminous “names highlighted in red.” That’s bound to be as epic a tale as has ever been told throughout the annals of creative writing. Lord knows I’ve taken a few stabs at composing fiction, only to find that, although I know I’m not completely bereft of writing talent, I don’t have it in me to create good fiction; somehow, I just can’t make it work.
- Entries
I get similar spam on my company email routinely. I especially like the ones that purportedly come from my company HR dept to remind me my email PW is about to expire and I need to 1) click the link, and 2) enter in my password at the prompt.
Giggle.