Progress, if you like
What our doughty, indomitable US soldiers were fighting for all those years—UNEXPECTED!!!™
Really, what can one say but…OOF! Also: OUCH!
Swiped shamelessly from WRSA, with my hearty thanks.
Category: Damn that’s funny!
If you rob it, it will close
Lying in the bed Shitcongoans made for themselves.
Watch: Chicago residents complain about Walmart leaving their neighborhoods, say they “deserve to be able to shop” at stores they’ve repeatedly looted
Today, citizens of the leftist utopia of Chiraq are surprised that private businesses would pull out of their crime-ridden neighborhoods!These dummies act like it’s a guaranteed right to have a Walmart in their neighborhood, even though said Walmarts have been losing “tens of millions” annually because of theft, taxes, vandalism, and other losses.
“How do I feed my children?”
I dunno, my man, buy some chickens and sow some seeds like humans did for thousands of years before Sam Walton perfected big-box distribution and spent the money to build stores in your city?
Really, what can one say but BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
“We should not have to go out of our communities to have to be able to shop! … We deserve to be able to shop!”
Yes, my man, this is true. In any civilized nation or city, these should be basic things you can do, because people like to make money and are more than happy to make it convenient for you to spend it.
But there’s a reason there are no Walmarts in Darfur or Fallujah.
Stores there would probably be safer, and a better bet all around for WalMart and its employees alike than Shitcongo. Follows, a passel of vids featuring the damage and destruction wrought by the selfsame Looter Americans who are now bitching about Wally World daring to starve their dumb-nigger asses out by closing the stores they themselves wantonly trashed.
Hey, I have an idea for feral Shitcongo Dindus who will be denied their daily calories by those cruel WalMart RAYCISSNSHEEIT: cannibalism. Try it, you might like it!
Via Bayou Pete—who, happily, is back from his weekend hiatus and in fine fettle:
Residents of Chicago, Portland, Seattle, and other cities where the mob has become accustomed to stealing what they like, when they like, and getting away with it, are now discovering the consequences of allowing that to happen. What store can afford to stay in business when every day that it does so costs it more money than it makes? (Not to mention the consequences to its staff, who are imperiled by criminal thugs and looters!)
The trouble is, those who’ve grown used to taking what they want aren’t going to mend their ways when their local stores shut down. No – they’re going to spread their net wider, and try to do the same in more distant suburbs and neighboring towns. I don’t foresee much of a problem with that in my area: our cops (and the vast majority of our citizens) will have no trouble stopping such miscreants in their tracks (if necessary, the hard way). However, in many larger cities it’s going to be a problem. Public transport is more or less available, cars can be stolen or hijacked at gunpoint for a quick ride, and fresh loot isn’t far away; and police are so overloaded (not to mention underfunded) that they can’t deal with the crimes they’ve got right now, never mind increased shoplifting and looting in future.
As Peter suggests about his own locality, I’d certainly love to see them try it around these parts. Which isn’t terribly likely; they know already what the end result of that would be here in South Cackalacky, I’d bet.
Update! The NYT shits bed, buries lede, confirms things they’d rather not be confirmed.
327 who are above the law
The New York Times story did not say what its editors and their flying monkeys thought it said.The headline said, “A Tiny Number of Shoplifters Commit Thousands of New York City Thefts.”
OK, you don’t need a J-school degree to figure out the message sent. Not everyone in NYC is boosting $4,500 Louis Vuitton purses. It is just a few people. Whew. What a relief to know this.
The subheadline said, “Nearly a third of all shoplifting arrests in the city last year involved just 327 people, the police said. Businesses say they have little defense.”
You see? The looting is by just a few people.
The story said, “Collectively, they were arrested and rearrested more than 6,000 times, Police Commissioner Keechant Sewell said. Some engage in shoplifting as a trade, while others are driven by addiction or mental illness; the police did not identify the 327 people in the analysis.”
The story, however, is you can rob stores dozens of times and get away with it. My question is why don’t more people in NYC just rob stores blind every day? I mean, come on people. If 327 people can get caught 6,000 times and get away with it, what is stopping 8 million people from looting Tiffany’s every morning and Macy’s every afternoon.
Maybe they are. Who knows how many New Yorkers steal and how many times they get away with it because the 327 people were just the ones the police caught. And the 6,000 arrests are just the times the 327 got caught.
Once again, NYT staffers throw a bunch of numbers around at random. You really cannot say, “A Tiny Number of Shoplifters Commit Thousands of New York City Thefts,” because the numbers reflect arrests, not crimes. And of course, there is the whole innocent-until-proven guilty thing that NYT conveniently forgets from time to time. So you cannot say commit.
NYT argued that stealing $4,500 Louis Vuitton purses is a crime of necessity. Its report said, “Criminal justice reform advocates have said that petty thefts are a crime of necessity, and that many down-on-their-luck New Yorkers are stealing what they need to survive in one of the world’s most expensive cities.”
And NYT also argued, “Retailers have pointed to shoplifting as a drag on profits for decades.”
Once again, the criminal is the victim. How dare the stores make profits!
Years ago, I remember a Charlotte-cop friend of mine telling me that CPD could end crime in CLT overnight, just by arresting the 1500 or so people responsible for almost all of it without some shitlib Turn ‘Em Loose Bruce judge springing them all the next morning. Yes, that’s CLT and NYC, but does anybody want to seriously argue that a like pattern doesn’t obtain in Shitcongo as well?
7Memezapoppin’!
Spencer justly lauds Twatter über-mememeister Carpe Donktum for some truly outstanding work.
Twitter Memester Carpe Donktum Mocks the Trans Cult, and It’s Riotous
Carpe Donktum calls himself an “Eternally Sarcastic Memesmith,” and his eternally sarcastic memes have earned him over 335,000 followers on Twitter, as well as the undying wrath of the authoritarian Left: his pro-Trump memes were so effective that he was banned from Twitter in June 2020, at the height of Trump’s reelection campaign, and only reinstated when Elon Musk took over. Over the last few days, he has begun calling attention to the transgender cult’s grooming of the youngest children in schools in a particularly piquant — and riotous — way.It all started on Thursday, when Carpe Donktum tweeted: “As a 3rd grade teacher, I often talk about Jesus with my students, they are so excited to hear about my faith. They point to the cross on [the] wall and ask me about the resurrection. Some have gotten baptized in the sink, as long as they don’t tell their parents. It’s our secret.” This tweet now has 3.7 million views. It was an obvious send-up of primary school teachers who push transgenderism on their students and keep it all secret from their parents, and just in case anyone didn’t get it, Donktum drove the point home in a series of follow-up tweets.
“I hope this doesn’t get me fired, please don’t share this to [sic] libs,” he added, and then: “want you guys to understand something, I am NOT grooming these young apostles, THEY COME TO ME and I follow their questions back to it’s [sic] source These kids feel something is not right inside them and I help them to understand that Jesus is what they are missing in their life.”
Warming to his topic, Carpe kept going: “These kids are so excited about their new spiritual identity that they devote every moment to studying the Bible. But sometimes, they lack the focus, in those cases the school nurse prescribes distraction blockers to help complete the transformation. Don’t tell mom and dad tho.” He took the opportunity to push other Leftist buttons as well: “One of my fondest memories from last year was when Taleb made his transformation from Islam to Christ. To celebrate his new identity we had a pizza party with his new favorite topping, Canadian bacon. Sometimes, I buy him a hotdog at lunch, since he can’t have them at home.”
Heh. Good, tasty schtuff indeed, more of which is perusable at the link. CD’s ingenious turning of the Trannylib tables has inspired me to throw in another similarly-inclined slice of brilliance, from Matt Margolis:
Heh again. That one’s culled from Matt’s Meme-manic Monday Substack post, the rest of which can be viewed—and really, really should be—at the immediately-preceding link. I’d suggest y’all subscribe to the Margolis thang like I already done dood a while back, so’s you can regularly enjoy more good stuff from the comfort and safety of your own email inbox as and when. But if you haven’t signed up for The Eyrie yet, then don’t you dare, you rotten bastige.
3Headless body in topless bar
The backstory of “the most anatomically evocative headline in the history of American journalism.“
This month marks the 40th anniversary of a watershed moment in journalism: the publication of the “Headless Body in Topless Bar” headline on the front page of the New York Post.
Headlines sell newspapers — at least, they sell the print newspapers offered via those relics known as newsstands. In 1983, almost all of the 965,000 daily newspapers that rolled out of the Post’s building in Lower Manhattan were sold on newsstands.
No one on the Post’s news desk debated the news value of the story: A Brooklyn man named Charles Dingle shot Queens bar owner Herbert Cummings to death and held patrons hostage. When Dingle learned that one was a mortician, he ordered her to behead the victim. Dingle, a box containing the head next to him, was arrested in an unlicensed cab in Manhattan. (Dingle died in prison in 2012, according to New York state records.)
The New York Times also covered the story, stuffing it on Page 2 of the Metropolitan section under the headline, “Owner of a Bar Shot to Death; Suspect Is Held.”
There would have been no Post headline without the gory story. Reporter Jim Norman wrote in a 2012 recollection that the police teletype in the newsroom had two items — one about the discovery in Manhattan of a cardboard box containing a head and the other about the discovery in a Queens bar of a mutilated torso. Norman said he helped to connect the dots as the “headless body” angle riveted the newsroom.
The headline went viral, by 20th-century standards. (then-NYPost managing editor Vincent) Musetto was on David Letterman’s show. It also was the title of a black comedy in the mid-1990s.
In this digital age, when search engine optimization rewards literal headlines and punishes wordplay, “Headless Body in Topless Bar” could perform well online. Was it too over the top? When veteran editor Steve Dunleavy heard criticism at the time, he supposedly replied, “What should we have said? Decapitated cerebellum in tavern of ill repute?”
Musetto always said his favorite headline was “Granny Executed in Her Pink Pajamas” over the 1984 story about the execution of Margie Velma Barfield, who killed her husband in North Carolina. (Musetto seemed to get all the good stories. My own favorite from my year at the Post was “Art thieves take the Monet and run.”)
Heh. Good stuff, that is, from a lost era before the qualities of wry, frisky humor; convention-straining wordplay; hard-boiled iconoclasm; and an above-all-else dedication to Getting The Story encoded in the DNA of crusty, old-school reporters with the de rigeur pint of whiskey tucked away in the bottom desk drawer had all been exorcised in favor of today’s fear-mongering; obeisance to Big Government and the urgenturgentURGENT!!! blandishments of “experts”; and lickspittle fealty to the PC/Woke/Hard Left agenda entire—a noxious hell-brew that poisoned bona-fide American journalism as it had previously been known fatally, and for all time.
Back in the 90s when I was living in NYC, the Post was the only daily I cared much about purchasing and perusing. NY Newsday plainly and simply sucked, on those occasions when it wasn’t infuriating; then again, it was an offshoot of Long Island-centric Newsday, and what sophisticated, urbane Manhattanite such as moi cared a whit about what those yokels might get themselves up to way out there in the boonies, anyway?
The WSJ was meh, boring, and still is. The Old Grey Whore (a/k/a the NYT) had nearly completed her long, slow slide into total hyperpartisan irrelevance and rank dishonesty; the NY Daily News was middle-of-the-road bland, making it a small cut above the rest of the shitlib propaganda broadsheets.
Later, 2002 would see a short-lived stab at reviving the old NY Sun, but despite the sly, self-deprecating insider-witticism of being printed on piss-yellow paper early on (because yellow journalism, get it?), the Sun failed to distinguish itself otherwise and thus quickly died the death, at least in its print version. Maybe it was good, who knows; although I was still spending a lot of my time in NYC, I still can’t remember ever even reading the thing, honestly.
As for the rest of NYC’s then-crowded field of news outlets: weekly radical-Left alternarag The Village Voice…well, most of the people I hung out with bought it exclusively for the voluminous rock-show and apartment-for-rent listings; amusing if frequently scandalous, even pornographic, personal ads; and maybe Nat Hentoff, among the small handful of my punk-rocker pals who cared about topical affairs.
When it came along, Russ Smith’s NY Press felt like a welcome breath of fresh air to NYC’s minuscule minority of RightWingNaziDeathBeasts like me, but it was short on the aforementioned Voice features New Yorkers had come to rely on. Even though I bought a copy every week the minute it appeared at the bodega down the street and read it cover to cover, I never for a minute thought it could ever amount to serious, credible competition for the Voice. And that’s pretty much how it went, eventually.
Maybe the best thing about this noteworthy anniversary of an unforgettable tabloid headline is that The Power hasn’t gotten around to outlawing any remembrance or remark upon such lighthearted, entertaining mass-media insouciance yet. You can bet they’re probably working on it, though.
1Bud transitioning
The obvious next step.
Budweiser Replaces Clydesdales With Cows Dressed As Horses
ST. LOUIS, MO — In a natural continuation of its push for diversity and celebration of transgender lifestyles, Anheuser-Busch has announced the company will be replacing the iconic Budweiser Clydesdales with cows that identify as and dress like horses.“We feel this is a natural next step,” said Anheuser-Busch CEO Brandan Whitworth. “If we’re going to bend reality and ignore all basic understanding of science and biology with our Bud Light brand, then it only makes sense to make that philosophy consistent across our other brands, including the classic Budweiser advertising campaigns.”
The beverage giant scoured the nation in search of dairy cows that live their lives as horses. “I was very excited to receive a phone call from the Budweiser marketing folks,” said dairy farmer Ed Herman. “I just can’t get this group of cows to produce any milk because they insist on pretending to be horses. I was ready to put down the whole lot of ‘em, but now they can actually make me some money with this ad campaign.”
Budweiser marketing executives have mapped out an extensive campaign that will culminate in an emotionally stirring commercial during next year’s Super Bowl broadcast. “We really want to tug on everyone’s heartstrings,” said the company’s marketing spokesperson Katie MacDonell. “We’re absolutely certain that everyone in the country will be excited to follow the journey these proud horses embark on to discover their true inner species.”
After staring closely at the attached picture, I must admit I’m convinced.
Update! Transheuser-Busch tries to win back their traditional customer base, earning only mockery and derision for the patronizing, insultingly schmaltzy effort.
Anheuser-Busch has been devastated financially due to the company’s partnership with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney.
The company has lost over $7 billion in market value since they decided to shove Mulvaney in America’s face. Merchandisers have also revealed no one is buying Anheuser-Busch products.
Desperate to win back former customers, Budweiser decided to bring back the beloved Clydesdales in a new ad on Friday.
The ad opens with a Clydesdale galloping across a field of grain and then a town street. The horse next passes a fire department, a flag raising ceremony, and a beach.
The commercial concludes with the Clydesdale standing on its hind legs on top of a hill.
Couples and friends are seen throughout the ad along with national monuments such as the Lincoln Memorial.
Ad transcript:
Let me tell you a story about a beer rooted in the heart of America, found in a community where a handshake is a sure contract, brewed for those who found opportunity and challenge and hope in tomorrow, raised by generations willing to sit, share, risk, remember.
This is a story bigger than beer. This is the story of the American spirit.
If Budweiser thought former customers would forgive and forget, they were sorely mistaken. The former fans instead had an absolute field day over the commercial.
Follows, a collection of hilariously scornful Tweets from disgusted ex-Butt Light drinkers, my favorite of which would have to be this one:
The new Budweiser Clydesdales. pic.twitter.com/9QvPvE9FGK
— masonbo (@masonbo)
Heh. Pinky Pie*, a “transgender”? Who the hell knew?
*NOTE: My ID of the above My Little Pony character might very possibly be in error; my daughter’s agonizing-but-inevitable phase of Pony-love was mercifully brief enough so that I hadn’t time to learn any but a very few of their names.
2
1“Reparations,” forsooth
The new Rosa Parks, just trying to “open a dialogue.”
Target security guard punches customer in the face after she demanded ‘reparations’
With that headline, the Post seems to be trying to make it look as if the security guard was out of line here. I assure you, he was no such thing; bitch got exactly what she had coming, that’s what.
A Target security guard punched a customer during a confrontation that was sparked when she asked for “reparations” while at a checkout line with more than $1,000 in groceries, according to a police report.
The ugly incident happened in October at the megastore in Blue Ash, Ohio, and began when Karen Ivery asked a cashier for their manager regarding the bill and reparations, according to the police report reviewed by The Post.
The cashier alleged to authorities that Ivery brought up reparations several times during their brief encounter before the manager arrived, the report states.
When speaking with the manager, the customer first asked for reparations and grew angry as she walked “aggressively” toward the manager, according to the report.
“Ivery kept berating her about reparations and her privileged life,” the report alleges as the patron kept walking toward the manager.
That’s when Zach Cotter, a loss prevention officer, intervened and asked Ivery to calm down and leave the store, the report states.
There’s a pic featuring the security guard’s lovely follow-through, and the FNIQ (Fat Nigger In Question) with her head snapped way the fuck back from the righteous smackeroo. It’s heartwarming, frankly. Onwards.
After reviewing footage of the incident, authorities wrote that they determined Ivery was the “aggressor” and she was placed under arrest.
“Ivery was confrontational with officers on the scene and didn’t want to explain her actions,” the report states.
In a bodycam video of the purported incident on YouTube, Ivery told an officer she wanted the cashier to contact the manager “so we could have a larger conversation about how money works, and how the provision works, and how it’s been working in our community in a very wrong way.”
“This is my Rosa Parks moment,” she added.
Because OF COURSE it is. So stunning, so brave, standing up to Da Man an’ demannin’ huh Rights n’sheet like dat!
I swear, if this incredible story doesn’t peg the needles on your Neegrow Fatigue meter, you probably ought to see a doctor or something.
5Steve McQueen, problem-solver
Gotta admire a guy who appeals courteously at first—then, when he can get no satisfaction with good manners, civility, and politesse, is man enough to take the bull by the horns and resolve the issue a bit more…um, dynamically.
He Did Ask Nicely
After Steve McQueen established himself as a bankable movie star, he purchased a mansion in Malibu, California. His next-door neighbor was Keith Moon, the drummer of the famous English rock band, The Who. Moon lived the partying lifestyle of many rockstars, which annoyed McQueen, particularly because the drummer would always leave his bathroom light on. The light faced Steve’s bedroom window, which affected his sleep.McQueen asked Moon more than numerous times to be mindful of turning off the bathroom light, and Moon continued to ignore his pleas. McQueen grabbed a shotgun one night, leaned out the window, and shot the light out.
I’d think that would do it, yeah. Heck, if I was Moon I’d be hesitant to go in that bathroom at all anymore after that, knowing I was putting myself in line of fire of a man eagle-eyed and steady-handed enough to ace a shot like that—in the dark, angry and stressed out, whilst hanging out a window. At the very least, I’d be content from then on to piss in a Solo cup in some other room, whether lit or endarkened, and toss it out the nearest window, rather than take a chance on replacing the bulb. With some folks, if you want to go on living it’s always sound policy not to make an enemy of them unnecessarily.
It may not seem obvious at first blush, but those were better days. With the current pussified crop of actors and rock and rollers, both aggrieved parties would no doubt put on their most fetching little black cocktail dresses, get together knee-to-knee over a nice chai latte, and have themselves a good, cleansing cry over the whole unnerving episode.
41Musk ain’t having any
I swear, my boy Elon just keeps getting more red-pilled every day, seems like.
BBC Journo Quits Musk Interview After Elon Pushes Back On ‘Hateful Content,’ ‘Misinformation’
Twitter CEO and African-American billionaire Elon Musk yesterday sat down with BBC “journalist” James Clayton for an interview, where the two had a now-viral argument over Twitter’s alleged rise in “hateful content,” as well as Twitter’s COVID “misinformation” policy changes.During their conversation, Clayton, without any evidence to back himself up, claimed that Musk’s acquisition of the company has resulted in “a rise in hateful content.”
“Content you don’t like or hateful, describe a hateful thing?” Musk asked.
Clayton replied, “I mean you know just content that will elicit a reaction, something I mean something that is slightly racist or slightly sexist, those kinds of things.”
“So you think if something is slightly sexist it should be banned?” Musk retorted. “No, I’m not saying anything,” said Clayton.
“I’m asking for examples. Can you name one example?” Musk said. “Honestly I honestly–” Clayton began before Musk interjected: “Can you name a single example?”
“I’ll tell you why,” the BBC wordsmith said. “Because I don’t actually use that feed anymore because I don’t particularly like it. Actually, a lot of people are quite similar.”
At this point, the journalist cited his lack of interest in Twitter’s “For You” feed as his reason for being unable to cite a single example of hate speech. Musk, unimpressed, ultimately accused the reporter of lying.
Musk replied, “Wait a second, you said you’ve seen more hateful content, but you can’t name a single example, not even one.”
“I’m not sure I used that feed for the last three or four weeks,” Clayton said. “Then how did you see the hateful content?” said Musk.
“Really!?” Clayton cried. “Yes, because you can’t give a single example of hateful content not even one tweet, and yet you’ve claimed the hateful content was high. That’s a false,” Musk explained.
“No,” replied Clayton. “You just lied,” Musk said.
Eventually, Clayton abruptly left the interview, leaving Musk alone to field questions from the audience.
Just as well, really; Elon was WAY more likely to field some halfway-intelligent questions from the audience than he ever would have from a hack propagandist like the “journalist” he handily cut up into pieces-parts. Well done, sir, and good on ya. Now do NPR, while you’re taking care of the light work. Oh wait, he just did.
Elon Musk Reaches Limit, Calls For Defunding NPR: “What hypocrites”
Twitter CEO Elon Musk is calling for defunding NPR after the broadcaster had a meltdown and quit Twitter because Musk is calling them ‘State-affiliated media and Government-funded Media.’ NPR said it will no longer post fresh content to its 52 official Twitter feeds.NPR cited Twitter’s decision to first label the network “state-affiliated media,” the same term it uses for propaganda outlets in Russia, China and other autocratic countries for making this extraordinary decision. Twitter drives impressions to NPR and after the broadcaster had to institute layoffs you would think they would be thanking Musk.
Musk fired back saying:
“NPR literally said “Federal funding is essential to public radio” on their own website (now taken down).
“What hypocrites!
“Defund NPR.”
Okay, I think I may have just ejaculated in my pants a little bit here.
2Oh, SNAP
This one has to smart a little. Or it would, if the raddled old soak had a lick of sense. Or, y’know, shame.
Wake me up when you want to talk about what kind of society you’ve created, where young people want to kill children. And don’t know what gender is.
The last 70 years. Inexorable leftward cultural shift. And this is where we are.
— BullshitSquared (blue check) (@xenophonrocks)
Ouch! San Fran Nan resembles that remark.
Via Glenn, who calls it “harsh but fair.” Which, y’know, is perfectly true.
Laying low
Is the “get Woke, go broke” slogan finally proving out, for the first time ever?
Buyer’s Remorse? Bud Light Goes Quiet, Hasn’t Posted on Social Media Since Making Dylan Mulvaney Its Spokestrans
Cat got your tongue, Bud Light? The giant beer corporation has been silent for over a week, ever since it came to light that pretend woman Dylan Mulvaney was the pretend beer’s new spokesman. Since then, silence. Gee, Bud Light, aren’t you proud of your front guy?Bud Light operates one of those fun, friendly social media accounts we see quite often from corporate giants these days. On March 30, it tweeted or replied to tweets over fifteen times, with messages on the order of “Win tickets to Stagecoach for you and a friend! Travel and hotel accommodations covered” and “Have a cold one for us.” On March 31 came twenty more tweets and replies, including “There’s still time to win beer money. Which women’s team do you think will win it all?,” and a reply to a well-wisher: “Bud Light loves you back.” On April 1 it was more of the same, but we haven’t heard from Bud Light since 8:50PM that evening, when it tweeted: “Beers on us? Must be game time. For a chance to win, cheer on your team with #EasyToEnjoySweepstakes in the replies.” That was the day that Mulvaney was revealed to be Bud Light’s new spokesdude. But isn’t Bud Light proud, like all LGBTQETC activists constantly insist they are?
It isn’t just Bud Light, either. The UK’s Daily Mail reported Sunday that “The famous beer also hasn’t posted on their main Instagram feeds since March 31 and have not posted to Facebook since March 30. Bud Light’s parent company, Anheuser-Busch, has also gone without posting since April 1.” This is unusual, for “while they have gone a few days without tweeting in the past, the @BudLight is typically fairly active, as are their other regular social channels.” What could account for this? It looks as if it’s because of Dylan Mulvaney.
It was on April 2, Bud Light’s first day of total social media silence, that Mulvaney posted a video of himself pitching Bud Light. Mulvaney added this caption: “Happy March Madness!! Just found out this had to do with sports and not just saying it’s a crazy month! In celebration of this sports thing @budlight is giving you the chance to win $15,000! Share a video with #EasyCarryContest for a chance to win!! Good luck! #budlightpartner”
One would think that since Bud Light often uses its social media accounts to tout such offers, and had just been pushing a few contests and deals in the preceding days, it would have jumped on this and pushed Mulvaney’s Easy Carry Contest on Twitter. Instead, not a word. Could it be, could it even be remotely conceivable, that Bud Light is horrified by the backlash it has received, and is actually embarrassed to be touting this ersatz woman and attention hound?
Embarrassed? Naah, not bloody likely. They’re just afraid of the effect the brouhaha might potentially have on their profits, that’s all. Thus:
The backlash has indeed been severe. Country singer Travis Tritt banned all Anheuser Busch products from his tour bus and asserted that “many other artists” were likewise dropping their Buds, but not saying so publicly for fear of being “ridiculed and canceled.” One of those who was unafraid was Kid Rock, who published a video of himself shooting at cases of Bud Light (viewable here, in case you missed it—M). One disgusted Bud Light salesman said: “I’ve never seen such little sales than this past few days.” The Daily Mail noted that “several former customers filmed themselves pouring the beer away – down the sink and toilet – while others emptied their fridge of the product into bins.”
Over the years, I’ve seen no sign whatsoever that Kid Rock is afraid of anydamnedthing whatsoever—which is one of the reasons I just love the buck-wild sumbitch all to pieces.
I mean, come on, how could you NOT like the guy? This is the one I always liked the most, personally.
A bona fide classic, that one is. “I ain’t straight outta Compton, I’m straight out the trailer.” Really now: hollowbody guitars; dirtbikes; 70s Trans Ams; big black Peterbilts; midgets; Ron Jeremy playing whorehouse piano; hot, scantily clad, trashy-slut babes—again, what’s not to like? It’s all there, as white-trash Americana as it gets, baby.
Update! In a seperate PJM piece, Spencer delves into A-B’s reason for making this colossal mistake: Fake ’n’ Ghey Inc™ strongarmed them into it.
1Dear Dad
Teenage son leaves a shocking letter for his old man.
A father passing by his son’s bedroom noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad’. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing’s, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that mari*juana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Josh
P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Heh. If he was my kid, I’d offer to sit down and have a beer with him.
Greasy beans
In case you were worrying that the Chinese might take over the entire world: don’t.
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf)
As my friend brack quipped when I texted this one to him earlier, at least it went down easy.
Poor girl, hope she didn’t try a PBJ made with Vaseline petroleum jelly next. But of course, I suppose that’s what KY is made from also, so I guess she pretty much already did.
Update! That last joke of mine got me to thinking, and as it happens KY is NOT petroleum-based at all. In fact, the no-petroleum, water-based formula is KY’s biggest selling point. Never having used it myself, I didn’t know that before now.
2
1Would that it were so
Incredible as it seems now, there was a day long ago when David Letterman was actually funny.
What would happen if Evel Knievel was president? David Letterman’s top ten answers from 1991 😂#funny #evelknievel #topten #davidletterman #bikelife #legendary #merica 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/kEIL1HuiNV
— Evel Knievel (@evelknievel)
I like numbers 7, 8, and 9 best, personally. We coulda done a lot worse than a President Knievel. And, y’know, have.
KANGZ!
Two funnies swiped from BCE. Well, okay, the second one I didn’t swipe, he sent it to me in an email. Nonetheless.
Heh. Now, for our new RAYCISS!!!™ rating system: FIVE OUT OF FIVE!
I repeat: Heh. Mo’ bettah at the link, natch. Nomesayn?
Too smart for Fauci up in the ‘hood
Lying “Little Mengele” gets himself a schooling from an everyday schlub who simply ain’t having any of Fauci’s bullshit.
Dr. Fauci went to the hood to pressure black people to get vaccinated.
Little did Fauci know his career would be destroyed the 1st door he knocked on.
— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson)
Don’t miss a minute of it; it’s one of those truly golden moments you only see so many of in a single lifetime.
At the very end, L’il Mengele is so damned flustered by this all-American show of open defiance he has to break out his bottle of what my mom always called “nerve pills” to calm himself down and quell the fear and anger surging through him as a result of this dude’s righteous, scrumptiously-direct upbraiding. Heartfelt kudos to him, and to all like him who have stood up to the scurvy tyrants in one way or another: refusing to wear the Mask Of Submission; defying lockdowns; refusing to heed illegal edicts; or simply getting all up in their face and telling them, NO.
Calls for a celebratory rock and roll classic, I believe.
From The Who’s first “farewell show” in Toronto back in ’82, which has to be one of the very best live recordings I ever did see. If the vid of Pete Townsend’s immortal magnum opus won’t show up for you here, which it probably won’t, be sure to click thru to YewToob and watch. You won’t be sorry you did, trust me.
Update! The whole concert can be viewed here. As I said, it’s close to two hours of time VERY well spent.
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