Alan Rickman as….WHO?

Don’t know how in God’s name this one got by me, but somehow it did.

The place was an absolute shithole. It smelled like puke and wet garbage. You wouldn’t dare to use the bathroom for anything but to hit up. It was crowded, poorly ventilated, too hot in the summer and too putrid and cold when the heat was on, which wasn’t often. But, CBGB’s was the brain-child of Hilly Kristal, and in the 1970s and 1980s, if you wanted to see the next wave in music, this little hole in the wall in the Bowery in New York City was the place to see it. …

This little shithole gave us introduction to some pretty amazing – and some seriously jerkoff – bands, like The Ramones, Blondie, and Talking Heads.

“CBGB/omfug” stood for: “Country, BlueGrass, Blues/Other Music for Uplifting Gormandizers.”

Anything Alan Rickman is in is good. Juss’ sayin’…

He’s right, right down to the last detail. I’ve watched the trailer about six or seven times now, it ain’t ever gettin’ old.

I played CB’s myself several times, and met Hilly a couple of those times as well. Seemed like a nice enough guy, or he was to me at any rate.

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Eyrie note

No, I didn’t forget about the Friday Eyrie column I owe y’all. Because of the holiday I figgered I’d put it off til tomorrow, and also maybe make it another meme post too, since people really seem to like those (meme posts reliably get more visits than anything else, both here and at the Eyrie, go figger). Plus, I’ve downloaded so many really good ones from my usual haunts the last cpl-three weeks, and I’m excited about getting ‘em out there to y’all.

The Monday Substack meme thang will go up as regularly scheduled, unless something wild and crazy happens between now and then.

The power of Elvis part…4?

Well, kinda-sorta, anyway. NOTE: Check out the Greatest Hits page for the first three “Power of Elvis…” installments, to which this post isn’t exactly related other than that they all share a common topic. Or it wasn’t my intention when I was writing it for this piece to be related, nor to amount to a sequel to the others, at any rate. What the hey, it’s all about Elvis in the end, so why belabor such a trivial point?

Today being August 16th, and August 16th, 1977 being the death-i-versary of the once, future, and forever King of Rock and Roll, let’s get to commemoratin’, shall we?

First off, we gots a YewToob of what I consider one of Elvis’s most appealing signature songs, a catchy R&B confection originally penned by Lloyd Price*, which would soon after be immortalized on 2-inch Ampex Grand Master R2R tape (amazing price at the link: 35 dollars? Back in my day we had to fork over slightly more than a hunnerd smackeroos for it) by Price in a NOLA studio session run by the great Dave Bartholomew, writer and producer of many if not most of Antoine “Fats” Domino’s early chartbusters.

Lots of wonderful archival pix in that one of Elvis, Gladys, and the iconic Jordanaires quartet in younger, happier days.

In his latter-day backing band Elvis had a genuine virtuoso on lead guitar, the savant James Burton (“…one of the best guitar players to ever touch a fretboard”), who back in the late ‘60s began working for E first as a player in the touring band, later a recording-studio session man**. Burton stayed on with Presley in both positions until Elvis’s death.

Here’s a fat-Elvis vid of Burton strutting his stuff in Omaha, Nebraska taken in June of ’77, a mere couple of months before Elvis departed this vale of tears. In this short clip, Burton whips his trademark ugly-ass pink paisley Telecaster like a rented mule.

Even a partial listing of musicians Burton worked with either onstage or in the studio is nothing short of jawdropping: Bob Luman; Dale Hawkins; Ricky Nelson; Elvis Presley (he was also leader of Presley’s TCB Band, the same slot as the similarly awe-inspiring Travis Wammack filled for/with Little Richard Penniman at Tramps when the BPs played a 2-shows-per-night, three-night stand opening for the self-styled Architect of Rock & Roll); The Everly Brothers; Johnny Cash; Merle Haggard; Glen Campbell; John Denver; Gram Parsons; Emmylou Harris; Judy Collins; Jerry Lee Lewis; Claude King; Elvis Costello; Joe Osborn; Roy Orbison; Joni Mitchell; Hoyt Axton; Townes Van Zandt; Steve Young; Vince Gill; and Suzi Quatro.

Pretty impressive rundown of name artists, no? All the more impressive because it IS only partial. Others omitted include: Albert Lee, Rodney Crowell, Steve Wariner, Brian May, and Jeff “Skunk” Baxter, to name but a noteworthy few. Even this incomplete list is in fact a veritable Who’s Who of rock & roll, country, rockabilly, and pop artists, that’s what.

Next up: in the aftermath of The King’s bruising humiliation on The Steve Allen Show (after which disastrous outing Elvis could only describe himself as “distraught,” finding himself practically incapable of coherent speech due to the miserable asshat Allen’s openly-flaunted dislike of and contempt for Presley not just as a performer but personally) a visibly-exhausted Elvis had a long, cordial conversation with columnist/reporter/interviewer Hy Gardner for his popular “Hy Gardner Calling” phone-in show.

What a nice departure the warm, friendly, gregarious way Gardner treated the young phenom is from the egomaniac Steve Allen’s supercilious, sneering approach.

Last but by no means least, we come to the well-known story of a show-stopping (literally!) Vegas altercation betwixt Elvis Presley and a belligerent, sloppy-drunk oaf heckler, Big (Boob) Mike Henderson. Clocking in at just under 16 minutes it’s a long ‘un, I freely admit. But stick with it, definitely; the payoff is well worth the wait.

Awright, awright, a WAY better payoff woulda been seeing Elvis slam a hard, fast knuckle samwidge into this punk-ass bitch’s snot locker, knocking Sir Punch-A-Lot flat on his stupid ass onto the casino stage.

As is noted in the vid, Elvis’s deft defusing of a volatile, rapidly-escalating confrontation which could just as easily have taken a different, much darker turn was so smoothly managed that his handling of the situation is still studied today in conflict-management and -resolution training courses as the pluperfect example of how it’s done. Soft-spoken, surehanded, patient, preternaturally calm, humane—against all odds, Elvis forged peace from what appeared to be inevitable, unavoidable violence; soothed and gently reassured 1) a twitchy, unhinged antagonist; 2) an audience made anxious by the increasingly irrational bluster and brigandry of the inebriated, obnoxious lowlife; 3) every musician, crewman, custodian, sound/lighting technician, and venue staffer onstage with the prospective combatants; turned an enemy into a friend by merely speaking frankly and honestly to and demonstrating an unfeigned interest in him—all these nigh-impossibilities pulled off singlehandedly before a capacity crowd of 20,000 screaming cash customers, no less!

Too, it tells us everything we’ll ever need to know about what kind of man Elvis Presley really, truly was way down deep inside.

The narrator of the above vidya dryly informs us that, as the artist the Colonel liked to call “My Boy” strode placidly out to front-center-stage to address his rage-incapacitated interlocutor, Tom Parker was standing in the wings at Stage Right “having a heart attack,” and I expect he was at that. Elvis’s bandmates and backing vocalists (the Sweet Inspirations, Millie Kirkham, and Kathy Westmoreland), the audience, the stagehands, go-fers, and production crew—they must surely ALL have been clutching their chests in prodigious agonies of consternation at the sight of the show’s Starring Attraction putting himself in harm’s way so nonchalantly.

Moving on from speculation, hypothesizing, and out-and-out fantasizing, to this day Elvis Presley still outsells pretty much everybody else, and not by a small margin, either. Despite the figures that show the product fairly flying off the shelves, Elvis Presley records, tapes, and CDs don’t turn up in the Hot 100 nowadays because, according to Billboard, the fact that they aren’t new releases disqualifies them. No matter; we already know well enough who the King really is, thankee. It is assuredly NOT pathetic national joke Howard Stern, however girlishly and vehemently he may whinge otherwise.

In sum, even 48 years after his tragic demise*** the Big E’s spectral presence still looms large over the music biz, an incorporeal inspiration and influence that doesn’t look like going away anytime soon.

Elvis, you may be gone but you will NEVER be forgotten, bless your beautiful soul. We love you, and will always miss you.

* Amusingly enough, I remember meeting Price after one of those aforementioned Tramps shows supporting Little Richard

** A hateful, thankless job if ever there was one; go ahead, ask me how I know, I DARES ya!

*** No, Elvis did NOT “die on the toilet,” as has been gleefully and erroneously claimed for decades by his detractors. Elvis’s master bedroom and en suite bathroom had a modest-sized but plush lounge area separating them, just spacious enough to accommodate a chaise longue and a comfy, well-cushioned La-Z-Boy recliner/rocker. Elvis thought of his lounge as a place of refuge, his own private hideaway in which he could shuck his ELVIS PRESLEY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! persona and go back to being Gladys and Vernon Presley’s only kid—just 19 years of age, a part-time delivery man for Crown Electric Company of Memphis, paid a whopping one (1) dollar per hour—for a spell.

In his lounge, things were quite different: Elvis could laze about in his PJs, his tall, thick, heavily-pomaded, spectacular pompadour disheveled, a-tangle, and uncombed. Unlike World Famous Elvis, Private Lounge Elvis didn’t need to impress anybody; in that place late in the night, he didn’t owe a single soul a single goddamned thing. There was no fear of failure; no grinding pressure to capture and hold an audience; no nervousness, no jittery, unsettled stomach, no stage fright; no expectations whatsoever for him to live up to. In his lounge, Elvis could simply relax, read, and enjoy a refreshing interlude of uninterrupted peace, quiet, and solitude which would belong to him and him alone.

Until that fateful night when his young girlfriend Ginger Alden discovered him crumpled unconscious and non-responsive on the carpeted floor of the lounge—NOT on, in front of, or next to the toilet. Elvis actually passed away in the ambulance on the way to Memphis General Hospital

Update! My mention of Dave Bartholomew way up yonder brought to mind another NOLA R&B icon: Smiley Lewis, who will always be twinned with Bartholomew in my addled, befogged brain for some unknown reason. Between them, those two cats wrote more unforgettable music than you can shake a stick at—music which constitutes the bedrock, the very foundation-stones, of rock & roll both back in Lewis’ and Bartholomew’s day and as we in the modern era know it as well. Like yet another bona-fide legend from a previous musical era, Willie Dixon, Bartholomew and Lewis are simply all over classic R&B/RaB/rock & roll; everyplace you look you’re gonna see those rascals peeping back atcha.

I dunno, maybe I can hardly think of one without thinking immediately of the other because I spent so dang many years playing so dang many of their songs with the BPs. And HEY PRESTO! Just like that, I’m reminded of another legend: Big Al Downing, who we’ve discussed before in these h’yar parts.

Now THAT’S the stuff! Had to’ve played that song about a blue million times with the Playboys, and it was a stone gas each and every time we did. It never yet got old, and it ain’t ever gonna.

Updated update! Every picture tells a story, don’t it?

From August 1977: Thousands of grief-stricken Elvis fans outside Graceland right before the gates were opened to admit them, allowing them to mourn their lost idol in the grounds of his longtime home. From what I’ve read, the feeling of the Presley family was that if the fans were comforted by being invited inside the gates of Graceland and off the streets and sidewalks, then it was worth whatever damage to the carefully-manicured lawn the teeming throng might do along the way.

After all, trampled, torn-up grass, disfigured shrubbery, and mauled flower beds can always be made whole again with some hard work. But a heart shattered by sudden, unexpected bereavement? Ehhh, not so much.

Update to the updated update! Been idly mulling over this self-generated Bartholomew/Lewis mental pairing of mine, when something struck me as kinda weird about it. I mean, it’s mainly just the BarthoLew entity, even though there are a shitload of other two-man combinations which could, perhaps even should, have the same affect on me, but don’t. For example, whenever somebody mention Dave Edmunds, Nick Lowe doesn’t necessarily come waltzing along into my head close behind. Same-same for, oh, say, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons; David Bowie and Iggy Pop; Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey; Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell.

On the flipside, though: Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs? Homer and Jethro? Jan and Dean? Crosby and Hope? Sam and Dave?

Begging your pardon, kind sirs, but don’t you even think of throwing Simon and Garfunkle at me at this juncture. I’ve spent a considerable chunk of my life trying my level best NOT to think of Art Shinola and his boozum chum Paul Gobblefuckndinkle, and after lo, these many years I’ve become quite good at it, believe you me. You chuck those two shit-slurping doofii at my head, thereby distracting me from the task at hand, disrupting my concentration, and upending my groove so ruinously I can’t get my head back on straight, my heart back in the game, my attention refocused and re-aimed correctly, my thoughts realigned and retuned so that they’ll flow freely, unhindered and unobstructed in the way a mighty river does.

I tremble and quake with fear at the painfully slow dawning of a dreadful realization: I may not ever be able to do these most needful of things again. In which event I hereby solemnly swear that I will neither rest nor remit nor recede nor relent until the blaggard who forcibly reacquainted me with those two dickless purveyors of emasculated, stupefyingly flavorless Wimp Rock gruel have been dealt with to my own satisfaction: ie cruelly, harshly, and above all fully.

Lastly but not leastly, what price Loretta and Doolittle Lynn (to purloin a typically-exquisite Wodehouse phrase)? Where do THEY fit into this gi-normous 50,000-piece jigsaw puzzle? DO they fit into it, even…?

Okay, okay, let’s forget I brought the whole thing up. From now on, we’ll just pretend it never happened.

In memory of the greatest drummer of ’em all

That would be the one, the only, the incomparable Taylor Hawkins, as seen below.

Although I’ve always liked Alanis just fine, they coulda just stayed on Hawkins through the entire video for all me, I woulda been fine with it. Previously, I only knew of Taylor Hawkins from his association with the Foo Fighters and hadn’t bothered to look into the guy a little bit more deeply, not even in the aftermath of his sad demise. So imagine my surprise at learning yesterday evening that he’d pounded the skins for Ms Morissette before signing on with Dave Grohl & Co as a full-fledged Foo Fighter.

David Grohl is by no stretch any kind of slouch on drums his own self. Nirvana was pretty much nothing, nobody, and nowhere until they hired Grohl, he MADE that band. Then, after Cobain’s tragic suicide, Grohl got himself up off the drummer’s throne, came out from behind his kit, and put himself front and center as lead guitarist, singer, and songwriter of the newborn Foo Fighters.

After putting the Foos together—originally conceptualized by Grohl as not so much a band as a one-man recording project with backing musicians brought in as and when needed, a scattershot project which was dropped when it became clear what a murderous pain in the ass it was going to be to call, pitch, obtain consent from, negotiate terms with, agree on said terms, sign contracts with, and book studio time to fit into the schedules of a varied assortment of players, all bringing along their own obligations, agendas, touring/rehearsal/recording schedules, lifestyles, and personal baggage—Grohl made the best hire of his career, signing Taylor Hawkins on as drummer for the fast-gelling Foo Fighters hit-generating machine. Hawkins agreed, the band went to work, and the ascension of the Foo Fighters to the dizziest, most rarified heights of the Billboard pop/rock Hot 100 chart was assured.

Having only just learned of Hawkin’s early work for/with Alanis Morissette—whose powerful, passionate, emotive singing; engaging stage presence; honest and expressive lyrics; and multi-octave-spanning vocal range grabbed me but GOOD the very first time I heard her on the car radio—I thought sharing my felicitous discovery with y’all would fit the bill quite well.

Next up: Whodathunk Taylor Hawkins, being the über-badass drummer he assuredly was, could also hit a creditable lick as vocalist/frontman, stepping into Robert Plant’s great big shoes without breaking a sweat? Not Your Humble Host, I admit. Never saw it coming, me.

Yes, of course that would be Led Zep icons Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones sharing the stage with Hawkins, Grohl, and the rest of their youthful playmates.

But…but…but…WHY, man?

Let me count the ways: because she’s hot as FUCK; she makes shitlibs weep, wail, and rend their garments by being disobedient to, disdainful of, and utterly insouciant about them, their opinions, and their prissy and prudish edicts.

Plus, because I fucking well CAN, damn your eyes.

YOWSA! Suddenly, an unexpected epiphany: with a woman

  • THIS exquisitely lovely
  • THIS perfectly put-together
  • THIS breezily self-assured yet unpretentious
  • THIS cool, calm, and collected
  • THIS impervious to being rattled by foamy-mouthed liberal calumny, obloquy, and vitriolic rebuke
  • THIS comfortable in her own skin
  • THIS good-natured
  • THIS balanced and well-adjusted
  • THIS flawless in virtually every way

who even needs a reason? I’ma give dear Sidney her very own CF category, I do believe. Just ‘cause I feel like it, that’s why, no other reason. I don’t give a tinker’s damn if this is the only post in there, either.

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Best. Spam. EVAR!

Of the thousands, perhaps even millions, of CF-related spam emails I’ve received, snarled at, and summarily deleted over lo, these many years, this one has to be my personal favorite. C&P’d in its entirety:

FROM: HR & Admin – Coldfury <james@prestouniversal.com>
TO: E-mail (CF)
SUBJECT: Coldfury Employees Performance Appraisals – June’25

Dear Gentlemen,

Please find below the link to the current month’s employee performance appraisals for June 2025.

https://staff.coldfury.com/inter-records/report-2025/

Note: All names highlighted in red indicate employees who are due for termination.

Your prompt attention to this matter is highly appreciated.

Best regards,

HR Manager
Human Resource Department
hr.director@coldfury.com | Headquarter

Wow, turns out I have not only an HR department but also an HQ, even an unspecified number of “employees” who can actually be “terminated” at the discretion of my (nonexistent) HR Manager, whose actual name I can’t seem to recall right now for some reason. Better still, my phantasmagorical “HR Manager” refers to me as a “Gentlemen” in interoffice correspondence. Who knew?

No, of course I didn’t click on the link to view the “employee performance appraisals” report, but I confess I’m mighty tempted to, if only to giggle like a delighted little girl at the no doubt voluminous “names highlighted in red.” That’s bound to be as epic a tale as has ever been told throughout the annals of creative writing. Lord knows I’ve taken a few stabs at composing fiction, only to find that, although I know I’m not completely bereft of writing talent, I don’t have it in me to create good fiction; somehow, I just can’t make it work.

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Fare thee well

RIP to the incomparable Ozzy Osbiourne.

Black Sabbath legend Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of Darkness, dead at 76
Ozzy Osbourne, the legendary Prince of Darkness and one of heavy metal’s most iconic stars, has died. He was 76.

He died “surrounded by love,” his family said in a statement to The Post Tuesday. “It is with more sadness than mere words can convey that we have to report that our beloved Ozzy Osbourne has passed away this morning. He was with his family and surrounded by love. We ask everyone to respect our family privacy at this time. Sharon, Jack, Kelly, Aimee and Louis.”

News of Osbourne’s death comes more than five years after he announced his Parkinson’s disease diagnosis in January 2020.

Born John Michael Osbourne in Birmingham, England, on Dec. 3, 1948, he was nicknamed “Ozzy” in primary school.

He had a challenging childhood, but music provided him with an outlet.

Learning was difficult for him due to dyslexia, and the future Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee claimed to have been sexually abused by bullies when he was 11. He also recalled attempting suicide as a teen.

Osbourne credited The Beatles and their 1964 song “She Loves You” for inspiring him to pursue a music career.

Ozzy sold over 100 million albums as a solo artist and a member of Black Sabbath.

Here’s a 1970 vid in which Black Sabbath demonstrates what performers mean when they talk about leaving absolutely everything they have on the floor of the stage.

Rest easy, Ozzy. The world has never known another quite like you, and almost certainly never will again.

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Barrence Whitfield & The Savages redux

Yes, I know I posted a jubilee of praise for the mighty, mighty Barrence Whitfield not terribly long ago, but for some reason I got to ambling through my Barrence YewToob playlist earlier today and, as is his/their usual wont, Barrence and the boys just blew my doors in all over again. In consideration of any poor deluded fools who have no interest in grooving to the extraordinary rock ’n’ roll stylings of the Round Mound Of Beantown Sound* and his band—a soul-blighting malady I can neither comprehend nor overlook—I’ll just tuck the vids below the fold.

Continue reading “Barrence Whitfield & The Savages redux”

JAZZ cat!

Actually, I’d call this number from jazz/R&B/pop/rock legend Ben Sidran more blues than it is anything else, but that’s probably just me. See what you think, bearing closely in mind Rule #1 with all things musical: Always go with what your heart tells ya.

The brilliantly understated piano and guitar solos work together with the likewise spare but quite tasteful fills from the tremolo-soaked Stratocaster and that perfect Hammond B3/Leslie pairing to juice this modest piece right on up to genuine “earwig” status. Sidran’s laid-back vocal stylings are just the icing on a VERY tasty cake; he and his backing musicians play so far behind the beat here that they’re in serious danger of having it come around behind to lap their asses.

Sidran has been kicking out the jams since about 1960 or so, winning his spurs with an insanely wide variety of fellow artists. To wit:

Ben Hirsh Sidran (born August 14, 1943) is an American jazz and rock keyboardist, producer, label owner, and music writer. Early in his career he was a member of the Steve Miller Band and is the father of Grammy-nominated musician, composer and performer Leo Sidran.

Sidran was born in Chicago, Illinois, United States. He was raised in Racine, Wisconsin, and attended the University of Wisconsin–Madison in 1961, where he became a member of The Ardells with Steve Miller and Boz Scaggs. When Miller and Scaggs left Wisconsin for the West Coast, Sidran stayed behind to earn a degree in English literature. After graduating in 1966, he enrolled at the University of Sussex, England, to pursue a PhD. While in England, he was a session musician for Eric Clapton, The Rolling Stones, Peter Frampton, and Charlie Watts.

Sidran joined Steve Miller as keyboardist and songwriter on recording projects, appearing on the albums Brave New World, Your Saving Grace, Number 5, and Recall the Beginning…A Journey from Eden. He produced Recall the Beginning and co-wrote the hit song “Space Cowboy.” In 1988, he produced Miller’s jazz album Born 2B Blue. He has also produced albums for Mose Allison, Van Morrison, Rickie Lee Jones, and Diana Ross.

Sidran returned to Madison, Wisconsin, in 1971 and has spent most of his life there. He taught courses at the university (on the business of music) and beginning in 1981 hosted jazz radio programs for NPR (including the Peabody Award-winning Jazz Alive series) and TV programs for VH1 (where his New Visions series in the early 1990s won the Ace Award). While hosting that series, Sidran frequently expressed his desire to “demystify the world of jazz; jazz musicians are just like the rest of us, only more so.”

As a musician and a producer he has released over 35 solo recordings.

And even that catalog of achievement, remarkable as it is, is but the tip of the Ben Sidran iceberg. There’s a way-cool backstory for the above embed, specifically the title shared by both song and album.

The original idea for Rainmaker was to throw a party in a Paris recording studio in honor of my 80th birthday. I saw it as a way to celebrate the survival of so many things, including myself, a life without borders, and my friendship with so many musicians abroad.

I imagined that it would be a blues record, so I began by writing some original blues songs and revisiting some of my favorite classic blues too. But as often happens, what we discover is not necessarily what we were looking for, and in this case I found myself writing songs that felt dystopian, not all of them traditional blues forms, and not what you might imagine as “party music”.

But by the time we finished recording at Studio de Meudon with new and old friends from America and France, the record had found its own sound. Somewhere between tragic and celebratory, shaggy and polished, broken and healed, I guess you could say that Rainmaker really is all about surviving in the modern world.

“Just like the rest of us, only more so.” Yeah, you sure said yourself a mouthful there, Ben.

Op’m de do’, Richit!

Had an old favorite of mine pop into mind just a short while ago, an immediate hit which, upon its release, speedily ascended all the way up to number one with a bullet on the Billboard charts for Count Basie & his Orchestra back in 1947. It’s a novelty number (remember those? Don’t hear too many of those nowadays) I haven’t heard in way too many years, and had damned near forgotten about completely. So without further ado, here t’is.

I do declare, you just can’t help but dig those rib-tickling vocal stylings of R&B legend “Sweets” Edison, which I hasten to assure one and all I surely do. More from the notes included by the fella who put this one-of-a-kind chart-topper on Yew Toob.

Open The Door, Richard! (McVea-Clarke) by Count Basie & his Orchestra, vocal by Harry “Sweets” Edison, Bill Johnson, and the band

All five posted versions of this short-lived novelty sensation made it into the top-10 on both the pop and R&B Billboard weekly record charts: Count Basie (#1 pop), Dusty Fletcher, Jack McVea, Louis Jordan and The Three Flames.

Huh. Much as I’ve always admired the incomparable hit factory Louis Jordan’s amazing work, I don’t believe I ever heard his version of  “Open the door, Richard” before. Gonna have to get cracking right away on filling that yawning chasm in my musical education straightaway.

Funny ha-ha

Swiped this ‘un from our boy Ken, just ‘cuz it got a snicker out of grouchy old me.

Heh. Also, *snort, chortle!* On reflection, I suspect the main reason this groaner got me to giggling so was the reminder of how overjoyed I was back when Madeleine began to show the first early signs that her early-toddler-years fascination with godawful puns was beginning to wear off at last.

For CA

So after noting WRSA’s post of what has got be one of Bob Dylan’s best-ever compositions (nota bene: I am NOT, nor have I ever been, a huge fan of Dylan’s), it occurred to me that I really ought to return the favor with what I think to be a considerable one-up: what has got to be the most beautiful version of said composition you’re ever gonna hear.

Gorgeous, simply gorgeous, si? So gorgeous, in fact, that you can practically hear your heart breaking. As perfect an example of the soul-stirring power of truly good music as you could ever hope to hear, this one is—especially on that last verse, when the vocal harmony line joins in and transforms the song from “pure genius” to “choir of angels” levels of beauty. Everyone involved with this arrangement, performance, and recording ought to be damned proud of their work on it.

Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?

86 Comey, and 23 Skiddoo to you too, pal.


Steyn provides a little historical background.

Back in the Nineties, I used the term “eighty-six” in The Sunday Telegraph in London. It not being an expression familiar to Britannic ears, my editor demanded I explain it to readers, which proved rather complicated:

It apparently started in the Thirties as soda-fountain slang for an item that was not available: “I’ll have a chocolate malt, please.” “Eighty-six on that.” It quickly evolved to become the act of making something unavailable by killing it. On Broadway long ago, I once heard a producer instruct his director: “Eighty-six the dance number.” To a certain type of ne’er-do-well, it then advanced further to become a synonym for making you unavailable in a more permanent sense by putting you in a concrete overcoat and lowering you into the East River. To explain all that to non-Americans would have taken up half the column, so I eighty-sixed the “eighty-six” and replaced it with the more familiar “off” (per Webster’s, intransitive verb: “to kill, murder”).

Yet we are now expected to believe, even in the dirty stinkin’ rotten corrupt craphole of federal law enforcement, that James Comey could ascend to the heights of FBI director, the head G-man lui-même, without ever having a clue that “some folks associate those numbers with violence.”

As far too many Americans have come to learn, a citizen “lying” to the FBI is in big trouble. But an FBI man lying to the citizenry can do so with impunity. Yet “86 47” does not seem capable of being interpreted in any way other than a call for the violent termination of the lawfully elected president. So we have the most famous FBI honcho since J Edgar Hoover selling sea-shell arrangements on the sea shore and encouraging another shot at the President after two actual assassination attempts, one of which came within millimeters of blowing Trump’s skull apart on live TV. At the very least, it suggests that this weird creepy dweeb is too psychologically unhealthy ever to have been permitted anywhere near the Director’s office.

It is not normal to have a public discourse where senior civil servants are slavering for the murder of their political opposition. Have Comey’s official portraits in the Hoover building gone the way of Thoroughly Modern Milley’s in the Pentagon? UPDATE! DNI Tulsi Gabbard wants him “behind bars”. Preach it, sister.

Amen to that, brother Steyn. The whole godawful gang oughta be locked up in the hoosegow for the duration, beginning with the execrable Comey and working our way down from there: Fauci, Brennan, all the RussiaRussiaRussia “collusion” hoaxters, Pencil-Neck Schittforbrains, the Bribem Crime Family entire, &c.

Uncool update! After hilariously batting the Comey Seashell Blunder about for a bit, Kunstler gets down to serious funtime with Fake Jake Fapper, his co-author Alex Thompson, and the rest of the journ-o-rrhoids currently professing themselves to be shocked—SHOCKED!—to learn of something the rest of the country (or hell, the whole world) had been observing with their own lying eyes all along. To wit:

Also, not so cool, in the grand annals of the resistance, is the new book Original Sin: President Biden’s Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again, by journalists (cough cough) Jake Tapper (of CNN) and Alex Thompson (Axios). The book purports to explain how the entire governance apparatus of the USA hid the mental decline of “Joe Biden,” the phantom president. Realize, please, that the news media is a vital part of that apparatus, and has been since the invention of the printing press, with its crucial role (until lately) as a regulating mechanism on the engine of public affairs.

In fact, it is precisely the role of the news media to notice things that public officials try to hide, so as to keep citizens apprised of what is really going on. And that is exactly what the news media intentionally declined to do during the four years of “Joe Biden.” But then, at least half the country, seeing “Joe Biden” in action on video, did not fail to notice his ever-worsening feeble bewilderment. Tapper and Thompson seek to shift the blame for this game of Pretend onto the gremlins behind the scenes in the White House who ran the “Joe Biden” show.

Tapper and Thompson are lying, of course, and in exactly the same brazen way as the bigwigs in the Democratic Party who sponsored this treasonous fraud. Jake Tapper, for one, stated repeatedly on-the-air from 2021 onward that “Joe Biden” was a capable and effective chief executive and denounced anybody who tried to argue otherwise. Just as Thompson, while accepting the Award for Overall Excellence at the White House Correspondents’ Annual Dinner in April, lied saying, “We, myself included, missed a lot of this story.” Really? Then what, exactly, was “excellent” about his reporting?

Once they got going with that business model in 2016, they wrecked the news media’s credibility. And virtually everything after that has been an ongoing cover-up for their dishonorable malfeasance and the crimes of the party they fronted for. But the levers of power are in other hands now. There will be consequences for government officials who go to war against the people of this land, committing sedition and treason. Suggesting the murder of a president on social media is no light matter. By the time this blog is up, officers of the Secret Service may be visiting Mr. Comey at home. No need to batter down the front door with guns drawn, though. That would be so un-cool.

T’is a consummation devoutly to be wished, certainly. But I wouldn’t be holding my breath waiting for it if I were you.

Unexpected update! Might my earlier assessment have been a wee bit, umm, premature? Could be, could be.


Via Insty. As is so often the case, I’d be quite happy to be proven all wet on this one, folks. If the above report turns out to be accurate, I’d guess we have dear old Tulsi Gabbard to thank for it, bless her stout, undauntable heart. Along with Hegseth, whom I also have high expectations for, she may very well turn out to be one of the very best of Trump v2.0’s hires; among other things, she really does seem to be dialed in perfectly to the MAGA frequency, IMHO.

Last word update! Gotta be Bayou Peter’s.

The expression “to 86 someone” is a well-known reference to killing them; and President Trump is the 47th President of the United States. The message was instantly understandable to anyone who knows modern slang and “street talk”. For Mr. Comey to deny that he was aware of that hidden message is so ridiculous as to defy belief. As a prison chaplain, I heard similar expressions almost every day from gang-bangers intent on murdering a rival, or a snitch, or anyone they regarded as a threat. Street cops heard it far more than I did.

Sorry, Mr. Comey, but I simply don’t believe you. Your excuse doesn’t pass the “smell test”.

So . . . what does one do with a former Director of the FBI who has publicized a message that calls for the murder of our President? If he denies in court that he meant, or understood, any such thing, how can we prove he’s lying? The fact that any law enforcement professional or associate knows exactly what that message means can’t be used to call him a liar – to do that, one has to be able to prove that he knows/knew that he was lying. Implication or “common knowledge” is not evidence admissible in court.

This is what the progressive left does all the time. They call for crime and violence, while “disguising” – sometimes very thinly – the reality of their message. Criminals do it all the time, too.

Mayhem-pimping progtards, violent criminal thugs—waitwaitwait, you telling me there’s a meaningful distinction to be made betwixt the two or sumpin’?

As for “what does one do…” with a smarmy, slimery little rumpswab like Comey: unfortunately, the concept of the Rule Of Law doesn’t leave civilized people with a whole lot of wiggle-room on this. Yes, we all know deep down inside what ought to be done about/to/with “people” of his stripe—the phrase pour encourager les autres springs immediately to mind at this crucial juncture—but there’s a bright red line holding us back from going all-in, kicking ass without even pretending to care about taking names. Ultimately, we should probably all be thankful for the practical restraint which reins in our darker impulses, however frustrating it might be in circumstances like these. If there’s a pat, one-size-fits-all answer to this thorn-rife dilemma, I sure couldn’t tell ya what it is.

At the end of the day, I suppose, we can only content ourselves with the frail hope that, when the time for vigilantism, violence, and mob retribution against lying Stasi goons of James Comey’s loathsome breed arrives at long last, we’ll recognize that it has, and can then govern our behavior accordingly. Admittedly, “trust your instincts” isn’t exactly the sturdiest hook to hang an entire civilizational/societal construct from, but for the nonce it’s all we got. As our Founding Fathers innately understood, once the bullets have begun to fly you’ve passed the Point Of No Return—the only way out from there is to square your shoulders, grit your teeth, stiffen your resolve, shoulder your weapon, and slog straight on through to the (bitter?) end.

Can any of us propose with much or any real certainty that the Founders’ unswerving faith in the righteousness of their cause was so powerful, so all-consuming, that it simply didn’t permit them to even imagine the possibility of defeat at British hands? Did the OG Patriots’ religious faith shore up their absolute conviction of ultimate victory over the hated Redcoats to such an extent? With the confidence and clarity born of 20/20 hindsight (not to even mention the verdict of history), such speculation becomes effortless, the lone conclusion altogether obvious in contemporary eyes. Even so, it doesn’t seem entirely reasonable to think that, as Washington made his tortuous crossing of the ice-clogged Delaware River that storm tossed, inky-black night, he wasn’t gnawed the whole trip by serious doubts as to what the outcome of this life-or-death struggle he and his ragtag “army” had fallen ass-backwards into might eventually turn out to be.

After the passage of so very many years since that darkest of American nights, who among us would dare claim ourselves capable of identifying so closely with General Washington and his bedraggled, half-starved, nigh-frozen, exhausted men that we might somehow see those historic events as their own eyes beheld them? Not me, that’s for sure. Reviewing the writings of those extraordinary men at the time—private correspondence, broadsheet op-eds, rabble-rousing propaganda pamphlets, high-minded philosophical essays, and such-like—the blanket rejection of tyranny and fervent devotion to liberty, independence, and individual self-determination proclaimed so passionately therein certainly seems to have been sufficient to see those uniquely doughty, intrepid souls through the hardship, deprivation, and major setbacks of all and every sort, allowing their small band of like-minded Revolutionaries to wrest a new nation for themselves and their posterity from the once-steely but steadily-loosening clutches of the mightiest King on Earth at the time, come what may.

What strikes me as perhaps the most incredible aspect of all is that our noble Founders’ words, thoughts, ideals, and heroic deeds are all but ignored in American public schools in our own era, rather than being respected, reverenced, and studied intently as exemplars for contemporary Americans to model their own lives upon as they of right ought to be, as in fact they deserve to be. The thought of some wooden-headed fourth-grade teacher making mock of the Father of His Country for his wooden dentures or sermonizing about Thomas Jefferson as just another despicable slave-owning chaser of that sweet, sweet Brown Sugar before a classroom of giggling airheads is sick-making to me, it truly is. The one and only saving grace I can come up with here is that said giggling fourth-graders aren’t paying any attention to Teach anyhow; hey, they never do, amIright?

This weird attitude adjustment is more than just bizarre, it’s downright incomprehensible to me. In any event, the radical shift from profound admiration of our Founding Fathers and their world-altering deeds to near-total indifference for them—a course willfully, knowingly charted by ill-intentioned malefactors as part of a broader agenda—has proven gravely injurious to our once-great nation and Her people alike, as well as to the future prospects (if any) of both.

How do we fix all this? Again: don’t know, can’t say, won’t even attempt to right now. The one and only thing I DO feel certain of is that, at some point, the whole shebang is going to necessarily come down to shooting and bloodshed, most likely a great deal of both—more than any of us cares to think about, in fact. As history’s greatest cavalry officer, the peerless Nathan Bedford Forrest, famously summed up, “War means fighting, and fighting means killing.” It ain’t comfortable, it ain’t soothing, it’s pretty darned scary to think about for very long, but…well, as I always say, here we all are nevertheless.

The sad, inescapable fact of life in Amerika v2.0 is that men who would be free cannot live peaceably cheek-by-jowl alongside Leftists—it’s unpossible, for the very simple reason that Leftists won’t allow it. “Peaceable coexistence” is against their fundamental nature as bred-in-the-bone Leftards; they couldn’t change this even if they wanted to—which, if their readily-observable public behavior is any guide (PRO TIP: it is) they assuredly do NOT. If the last sixty-eighty years or thereabouts of ever-escalating confrontation, strife, and prideful, in-your-face interference, intrusion, and obnoxious personal vituperation being thrown our way at any time, in any place, for any reason or for no reason at all, ought to’ve taught Real Americans just one single lesson, this would have to be it.

CHANGE it? For Heaven’s sake, why would Leftards ever even dream of doing such an outlandish thing as that? How very silly, just complete twaddle; after all, in their stunted, enfeebled minds they’re the Good People, vastly superior in every conceivable sense to us greedy, bigoted, ign’ant, selfish, unevolved Bad People. Moreover, they’re right and we’re wrong, on pretty much every topic, policy, and/or issue you can think of.

Labor unceasingly to undo—by hook, crook, or extra-judicial decree—the results of the last election, after several years of whinging bitterly about their opponents allegedly doing the selfsame thing? Of COURSE they are! Duh Peepul chose poorly last time ’round, so they must be punished for their blind stupidity, piss-poor decision-making skills, and abject disregard for Muh Sacred Democracy™, which to Leftards is merely another, slightly wordier way of saying Government. Fucking slope-browed ridge-runners!

Hound the duly-elected President from his very first day in office until the day he departs, preferably before his term is finished and under considerable duress? You betcher! Fabricate from whole cloth an extensive litany of “felonies,” most of which aren’t even against the law at all, either local, State, or Federal, then clout said duly-elected sitting President about the head, neck, and shoulders with his supposed “crimes” without surcease, on every “news” program willing to book you for an appearance? MOAR, pleeze! Cobble together a weak-tea rotogravure of “articles of impeachment,” not a one of which even approaches legal justification to impeach? OH, you kid!

Hurl an assortment of slanders, smears, and baseless lies in the teeth of the sitting President accusing the poor fellow of everything from forcible rape of a butt-ugly, badly-aging serial rape-accuser in the Ladies’ Shoes department of a toney NYC department store to maniacally slashing the throats of Underprivileged Children Of Color with a dull butter knife on Pennsylvania Ave in broad daylight before a whole slew of eyewitnesses to declaring the US officially a Russian vassal-state being run by, for, and from the Kremlin to cheating on his high school senior-year math exam to ohh, you name it, then mindlessly regurgitate said opprobrious calumnies into every live microphone which intersects your immediate plane of vision as if they were all nothing but the God’s honest truth.

All this and worse being the case, then, all of it being dutifully pimped and parroted by the Straitjacket Left continually, ‘round the clock day and night 24-7-365, and it appears to me that direct, violent conflict with the batshit Left has now become a matter of “when” and not “if”; no longer is violent intranational struggle a distant albeit regrettable possibility which might still somehow be forestalled before any real harm has been done but a literal, widely-accepted inevitability—no getting around this one, not for you, not for me, not for anybody, no way Jose.

Once again, I refer you to Mike’s Iron Law #873 for a concise explication of what brought this unpleasant, dangerously toxic state of affairs crashing down around our ears all unlooked for, right out of a clear blue sky, as it were. Think of it, say, as one of those mid-summer Southern hit ’n’ run cloudbursts that come roaring in out of nowhere, raise immortal hell all over the place for about five-ten minutes, then are gone like spit on a skillet, leaving things even hotter, steamier, and more intolerably muggy than they had been before the T-boomer blew through and you’ll have the basic idea of what I’m talking about here. The grass and/or mud will be completely dry again in about half an hour, the streets, sidewalks, driveways, and/or other paved surfaces a little longer than that thanks to the inches-deep puddles in the runoff areas.

Just another example of something I’d sincerely LOVE to be proved all wet about, but can’t honestly say I expect to be.

Buncha clowns, clowning around

Our old blog-bud Ken Layne has posted the coolest friggin’ GIF you’re ever gonna see; hopefully it’ll work properly over here as well, although if it doesn’t, don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful, y’all. If not, you can always check out the original here, number 5.

Send in the clowns, there ought to be clowns

Now THAT’s what I call a RODEO, bubba!

Update! Nope, no joy, looks like; just a static image instead of an auto-repeating animation like it’s s’posed to be. Ah well, go check it out at Ken’s joint, you’ll be glad you did.

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