Human? Hardly

Sefton flubs one.

Remember that Joe Biden, as horrendous an example of a human being to have ever obtained political office in this country, just behind the Clintons and Kennedys, was deliberately chosen by Obama because his veneer of being an alleged moderate of the old school gave Obama the cover, on top of his mulatto melanin, to unleash his radical Maoism on America with impunity.

Silly JJ, human beings don’t obtain political office in this country. Not since, oh, around the 1930s, if not earlier.

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Nashville Pussy

Would like to remind you all that “pussy” is not a dirty word.

That’s a full-length video of NP’s set, 34 minutes long, but the part I most wanted to highlight is near the beginning and should be obvious to anyone who knows me well. One of the YT commenters makes a very astute observation:

It might look anarchic but that is an extremely polished rock n roll performance. A total lesson in how rock n roll is done. One of the best live rock n roll bands of all time.

Indeed so, right down the line. As for the band’s sordid history, here’s the background.

Nashville Pussy is an American rock band from Atlanta, Georgia. The band’s lyrical themes mostly revolve around sex, drugs, drinking, fighting, and rock ‘n’ roll. Initially called Hell’s Half-Acre, the band’s name comes from Ted Nugent’s introduction to “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” on the Double Live Gonzo album.

Following the initial 1997 breakup of Kentucky cowpunk band Nine Pound Hammer, guitarist Blaine Cartwright formed Nashville Pussy where he would take up vocal duties in addition to guitar. The core lineup of Nashville Pussy consists of husband-and-wife duo Blaine Cartwright and Ruyter Suys (pronounced “Rider Sighs”), and drummer Jeremy Thompson, formerly of Texas band Phantom Creeps. Original drummer Adam Neal (Nine Pound Hammer) left to form the Hookers. Original bassist Corey Parks (sister of former basketball player Cherokee Parks) quit one month after the release of the album High as Hell, and later joined Die Hunns. Tracy Almazan a.k.a. Tracy Kickass formerly of New York City’s The Wives, and Helldorado was enlisted to replace Parks mid-tour.

Nashville Pussy recorded Say Something Nasty with Almazan on bass only to be replaced by Katielyn Campbell (of the band Famous Monsters). Katie Lynn’s image is on the album Say Something Nasty. Campbell was subsequently replaced by Karen Cuda for the album Get Some. Karen Cuda also appeared as bassist on the album “From Hell to Texas”, and in the live DVD Live in Hollywood.

Nashville Pussy have released seven full-length studio albums, one EP and two live DVDs.

The band has remained largely underground, but has been gaining a large cult following in the rock club scene, and in Europe, Australia, Japan, France, and the rest of the world. Grassroots promotion of the band has been aided by their taper-friendly show recording policy. Ruyter Suys was recently voted One of the Greatest Female Electric Guitarists in ELLE magazine. Nine Pound Hammer has since reunited and plays the introduction song for the Adult Swim cartoon 12 Oz. Mouse. Cartwright also had a cameo in the Mr. Show spinoff movie Run Ronnie Run as Duke’s Bar Owner. The band also played themselves in the Dutch Film ‘Wilde Mossels’ (Wild Mussels).

Nashville Pussy received a Best Metal Performance Grammy nomination for their song “Fried Chicken and Coffee” from their debut release, Let Them Eat Pussy (1998, The Enclave) 1999 Grammy. Between April 2 to May 7, 1999, the band toured as the opening act for the North American leg of Marilyn Manson’s Rock Is Dead Tour. Ruyter Suys was featured on National Enquirer TV along with Jennifer Lopez on the Grammy Red Carpet for her ‘revealing’ Evel Knievel meets Wonder Woman leather bustier in a feature titled ‘Too Much Too Little’ and their songs “Come On, Come On” and “Hate & Whisky” were featured in the video game Jackass: The Game. Additionally, “Snake Eyes” was for the end credits in the video game Rogue Trip: Vacation 2012 and both “Shoot First and Run Like Hell” and “Wrong Side of a Gun” were in the movie Super Troopers. The song ‘DRIVE’ with its Gary Glitter style drum beat was featured in the episode ‘Watching Too Much Television’ of the HBO series The Sopranos. HBO’S Entourage also featured Nashville Pussy’s ‘Hell Ain’t What It Used to Be’ in the episode ‘A Day in the Valley’. In 2012 Ruyter Suys has also played guitar and toured for Atlanta comedy metal band Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles.

Pretty strong credentials,  I’d say. Below the fold for the rest, so’s the punk-rock non-fans in my reading audience won’t be annoyed.

Continue reading “Nashville Pussy”

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Birth of a legend

And a culture—or sub-culture, or counter-culture.

What Do You Got? The Wild One, The Loveless and the Biker Movie
On the fourth of July weekend in 1947, a group of bikers rode into a small California town and, depending on who you believe, either had a great party or went on an orgy of destruction. This single incident – now famous as the Hollister Invasion or the Hollister Riot – created both the abiding myth of the outlaw biker and the renegade bike gang, and inspired the movie that provided the template for every other biker movie to follow.

The occasion was the first major bike rally held by the American Motorcycle Association in California since before World War Two, and while attendance was expected to be high, nobody anticipated what would really happen. Hollister – about two hundred miles south of San Francisco and inland from Monterey and Carmel – had always been friendly to bikers, hosting regular races and hill climbs on the Bolado Racetrack.

It had, according to Tom Reynolds’ Wild Ride: How Outlaw Motorcycle Myth Conquered America, “twenty-seven bars, twenty-one gas stations and only six policemen.” It had its own bike club, the Tophatters (still in existence today) – one of dozens, probably hundreds of groups of mostly ex-servicemen who got together to ride, race, drink and raise a bit of hell just before the Hell’s Angels formed a year after Hollister and took over the image of the outlaw biker forever.

Uhh, not to pick nits or anything, but having had a few good friends flying the Red & White patch over lo, these many years—enough of them to know it actually does matter to them, if no one else—technically it’s supposed to be Hells Angels, no apostrophe. Kinda undermines the author’s credibility a wee mite, I think. A bit odd too that, in this recounting of the Hollister debacle, no mention is made of the less-hyped but way worse Laconia whoopjamboreehoo in 1965. Then again, maybe nobody’s made a movie about that one yet. Speaking of Hollister and hype, though, the iconic Life magazine photo of one of the likkered-up, violent “rioters” is instructive:

As it turns out, the provocative pic was almost certainly staged by Life’s sensationalist “photojournalist” and his assistants:

The reliability of the striking photo has been debated, with some sources suggesting that the scene was overtly staged. While the photograph was taken by Barney Petersen of the San Francisco Chronicle. the Chronicle did not run it, nor any other images, in its initial two articles covering the event. The bearded individual standing in the immediate background of the photograph, Gus Deserpa, has said he is sure that the photograph was staged by Petersen, and gave the following account: “I saw two guys scraping all these bottles together, that had been lying in the street. Then they positioned a motorcycle in the middle of the pile. After a while this drunk guy comes staggering out of the bar, and they got him to sit on the motorcycle, and started to take his picture.” Deserpa claims he deliberately tried to sabotage the staging by stepping into the shot, but to no avail.

Barney Peterson’s colleague at the Chronicle, photographer Jerry Telfer, said it was implausible that Peterson would have faked the photos. Telfer said, “Barney was not the type to fake a picture. Barney was the kind of fellow who had a very keen sense of ethics, pictorial ethics as well as word ethics.”

And you can believe just as much or as little of that as you like; surely, no “journalist” would ever lie, right? RIGHT?!? Why, it’s simply UNPOSSIBLE!!!

Anyways. Onwards.

“Nobody has ever fully explained what happened in the town on Independence Day weekend in 1947,” writes Reynolds, “because the allure of the myth is far more tantalizing than whatever facts can be gleaned from eyewitnesses or news photographs. Descriptions run from just a wild party to a rural version of the Rape of Nanking.”

Hollister would inspire a film, The Wild One (1953) – the film that Marlon Brando made between A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) and On the Waterfront (1954) and arguably did more than either film to create Brando’s persona, both on and off the screen. Its basic plot – bike gang comes into conflict with squares, causes mayhem/destroys small town/inspires vigilante payback – is really just a western with wheels instead of hooves, which is why it would be so easy to copy for decades to follow, in films with titles like Dragstrip Riot, The Wild Angels, Devil’s Angels, The Rebel Rousers, Angels from Hell, She-Devils on Wheels, Satan’s Sadists, Angel Unchained and dozens more whose plots vary as much as their titles.

The Wild One begins with a warning: “This is a shocking story,” the boldface card explains over a shot locked off just above the asphalt of a country road stretching to the vanishing point. “It could never take place in most American towns – but it did in this one.”

The first time I watched The Wild One as a teenager I constantly wondered when I’d seen it before; every plot point and conflict worn itself into the pop culture collective memory of the “biker picture” I shared with everyone else: the combination of curiosity, excitement and revulsion when the locals encounter Johnny Strabler (Brando) and the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club; the gang’s goofy mix of childish provocation and cornball hipster slang; the belligerent square john local businessman who insists they have to take matters into their own hands and teach these hoodlums a lesson.

Even Johnny’s signature line, among the most famous Brando ever uttered in his career (“Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against?” “What do you got?“) had been rendered as rote as pantomime by the time I finally saw it on screen and in context.

The Wild One – directed by László Benedek (Song of Russia, Death of a Salesman), produced by Stanley Kramer and based on “Cyclists’ Raid”, a short story by Frank Rooney published in Harper’s magazine – strains for relevance. Even the costume Lee Marvin wears as Chino, leader of rival bike gang The Beetles, is based on “Wino Willie” Forkner, founder of the Boozefighters, the outlaw gang that was blamed for most of the trouble in Hollister.

(Forkner was a consultant on The Wild One but quit in protest at the portrayal of bikers. The Boozefighters are still around, with chapters all over the world.)

Interestingly enough, and to my bemused astonishment when I learned of it, there’s a Boozefighters MC chapter in CLT, of all locales. I met a young fella in a Boozefighters cutoff at one of our Double Door shows, asked him about it, and saw him at several more of our shows after. Friendly, personable guy, in fact, accounting for my initial astonishment, since the original Boozefighters MC members (Wino Willie most definitely included) were notoriously some of the toughest, rowdiest, most flat-out dangerous one-percenters ever to fly a patch. Even first- and second-generation HA patch holders gave them respect, when they weren’t just avoiding them outright.

Despite my snarky dig at the author’s credibility before, it’s nonetheless a decent enough piece all in all. Certainly, his point about most of the biker-exploitation flicks being sub-par is not something I’ll dispute; I’ve seen all the ones he writes about and many more of the genre besides, and if you’re not into gazing at rip-snorting custom Harleys tearing around the landscape there ain’t much in ‘em for your average Joe Cager to enjoy.

One thing that does puzzle me a mite: contra his sniffy disdain for the biker movies of the 50s and 60s, McGinnis goes on to more-or-less gush at great length about The Loveless, characterizing it as a film with pretentions to High Art whose flaws prevent it from living up to its lofty cinematic ambitions. I saw it many years ago and thought it a real stinkburger myself, not even a patch on The Wild One, which I liked a lot back when I first saw it and still do now. Ultimately, though, even the presence of Willem DaFoe in his first starring role can’t quite redeem the flick for McGinnis:

As the film comes to its conclusion we’re waiting to see if the town is happening to the bikers or the bikers are happening to the town. The directors deliver just the right amount of sex and violence; by the time the smoke clears on the bodies they’ve made precisely the film a young man thought he was going to see when he paid for a ticket to The Wild Angels.

But the film hits its apex just before the cathartic explosion of gunshots and blood at the end, when the gang sit drunkenly around a table at the lounge, bragging about where they’re going and what they’re going to do. Dafoe’s Vance – with a straight face that hints at the talent he’d demonstrate repeatedly over the decades to follow – silences them all by bellowing out four words that impeccably sum up The Loveless:

We’re going nowhere. Fast.

As I recall, the friends with whom I watched The Loveless on VHS erupted in gales of laughter at DaFoe’s simultaneously wooden yet canned-hammy delivery of that line. “Bellowed”? Not in the movie I saw, it wasn’t. Mumbled, more like, or maybe grunted. DaFoe’s face shot adoringly from below as he runs the line; lit cigarette a-dangle from his lips; meticulously-coiffed pompadour afloat over his head like an angel’s halo; trying his very damnedest to look menacing and failing miserably: it was the best unintentionally-comedic performance of all time, hands down. He shoulda won an Oscar for it, assuming there’s a category for such. Happily for all concerned, Willem DaFoe overcame this embarrassing misfire, going on to become one of our finest actors ever.

In any event, The Loveless is as dull, flaccid, and aimless a movie as I ever did sit through. Too-pretty actors turning in lifeless performances; a shambolic, meandering plot arc; disjointed scenes in which the sole point seems to be striking sultry, cliched, wholly-unconvincing tough-guy poses for the camera; unidimensional, affectless, and un-relatable characters; a piss-poor excuse for a “script” bodged together by writers who obviously know no more about bikers than I do about writing screenplays; ludicrous, stilted dialogue no self-respecting real-world biker would ever be caught dead uttering, The Loveless does somehow pull off the cinematic quasi-miracle of being both overblown and underwhelming.

Any of y’all miscreants with a hankering some lazy summer evening to curl up on the couch with some popcorn, a cold beer, and a real, honest to God biker flick, just check out Hells Angels Forever instead, that’s my advice.

Capsule summary

A Sarcastica sum-up.

The Repubs continue to threaten us with a loss in November to a senile clown with their circular firing squad and other antics ………3 Soros backed Negroes with a combined integrity of a street corner heroin dealer are prosecuting persecuting (like him or not) our former President like third world shitholes do, while the media cheers them on for ratings and future lucrative book deals…………our coward-and- chief, who spends more time at home (where not subject to official call and visitor logs) than he does in the oval office, can’t regularly make it past 12 noon without a visit from Dr. Feelgood (yeah I said it) shits his pants and lies his ass off and has gone to shouting like a South American dictator about his opposition on the campaign trail………..we are being reassured of the fact throwing $80K a year at an elite institution of higher learning can produce just as many idiots as intelligent people…………and let’s not forget 185 pound trannies beating up 15 year old girls in their own school restrooms. But if all that doesn’t make you want to drink yourself into a stupor, Taylor Swift’s new album is being criticized for being poorly written……….OH THE HUMANITY!

BUT, on the upside, congress agreed to throw away send out more of your tax money and the Ukrainian civil service employees are assured of their 4 weeks of paid vacation and Zelinsky’s ol’ lady can take her regular summer Paris shopping trips.

That about covers it, I believe.

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ROASTED

Roseanne has been simply on FIYUHHH of late. Her hot streak continues.

Social media is abuzz over a video that Roseanne Barr shared mocking professional victim E. Jean Carroll, who claimed that Donald Trump sexually assaulted her in the dressing room of New York’s Bergdorf Goodman’s department store in the mid-1990s.

In the footage, Roseanne gazes into the camera like she’s overwhelmed.

“What happened, mom?” her son asked from behind the camera. “We’re at Bergdorf, are you okay? You look very shocked.”

“No, I’m not okay,” she says. “I just had a horrible flashback, a horrible memory.” She then reveals, “Right now I realize that 26 years ago, Joe Biden raped me right here in that dressing room in the shoe department where I went in to change my shoes.”

“Oh my God,” the son says.

“He raped me right here, Joe Biden, he raped me, right here in the shoe department of Bergdorf Goodman,” Barr adds.

“Are you okay?” Her son asks.

“No I’m not,” she replies. “I need to sue. I need to sue.”

You do at that, Roseanne, you damned sure do.

Reaction to Barr’s video was naturally mixed, as Trump haters accused her of mocking sexual assault victims.

“I would never insult a sexual assault victim,” Barr said in reply to one criticism. “I was talking about E. Jean Carroll.”

Heh. Also, OUCH! You go get ‘em, girl. As Margolis indicates in the article, Roseanne’s comedy-gold riff makes deft use of the fact that Carroll’s transparently specious fairy tale revolves around her non-rape happening during the exact same time-frame, in the exact same spot in the exact same store, which makes it that much funnier as far as I’m concerned. I say again: GET ‘em, girl!

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Turncoat turns back again?

Gotta admit, I did NOT see this coming.

Bill Barr says he’s backing Trump 2024 because ‘far left’ is a greater threat: ‘Heavy-handed bunch of thugs’
Former Attorney General Bill Barr is backing his old boss in the November election despite their very public fallout — because he believes the “far left” is an even greater threat to the US.

Barr, 73, disputed the notion that former President Donald Trump will be worse for democracy than President Biden, and warned about the rise of the “far left.”

“The Biden administration is in fact the greater threat to democracy,” Barr told Fox News’ “Cavuto Live” on Saturday.

“I think that they have a totalitarian temper. They have bought into the progressive movement. And they’re trying to squelch opposition and freedom of speech.”

“It’s a heavy-handed bunch of thugs in my opinion, and that’s where the threat is,” Barr said at another point about the far-left.

Meh, can’t say I give much of a shit about this development, anymore than I do about the 24 “elections” generally. That said, Barr is right as rain about the Goosesteppin’ Left, however surprising it may be to hear the likes of him saying it. In the final analysis, though, the real “threat to democracy” isn’t the Biden marionette or his White House junta; it’s the sinister, shadowy FederalGovCo Grey Men behind the curtain.

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BURNED

Stephen says, “I’m trying to think of a bad decision she missed but I’m coming up short. The implied supposition that the car dealer has the shopper’s best interest at heart might be the biggest though.” Agreed, one hunnerd percent.

Mom, 28, forced to sell her dream car after forking out $40,000 in INTEREST alone over three years – as America’s auto debt spirals to $1.6 TRILLION
Three years ago, 28-year-old Blaisey Arnold entered a local auto dealership and came away with the keys to an $84,000 Chevy Tahoe.

Despite paying $1,400 a month in payments totaling more than $50,000, she still owes a balance of $74,000 to her lender – GM Financial.

Not only did she not make a down payment, she said she traded in a previous car on which she had fallen into negative equity.

Negative equity occurs when a driver owes more on their car loan than the vehicle is now worth. Sometimes, a dealer or lender can offer to roll the balance of an existing auto loan onto a new one, making it more expensive.

While rolling over debt into a new loan can seem convenient, it can be very dangerous and dealers have been known to not properly inform buyers that they will still be responsible for the remaining balance.

‘Honestly, it blows my mind that I have paid $50,000 into this car and only paid off $10,000,’ Arnold said. 

She told DailyMail.com the loan was issued to her on the very day she visited the dealer – and that had an APR of 10.2 percent.

‘I did not go with my husband and as a female I feel they took advantage of me. They knew I really wanted the car and that I was by myself,’ she said.

Oh believe me, Bimbelina, they didn’t take advantage of you “as a female.” Not at all. They took advantage of you as a goddamn dumbass, is what they did. I strongly suspect that your husband isn’t any smarter than you clearly are—otherwise, how could he stand being married to you?—and the dealership would have given him the exact same reaming you got.

All car salesmen LIVE to see people like you walk into the showroom; as artillerymen have long described troops in the open, you’re their meat—a wet dream come true.

Some of us always say that stupidity should be painful, and know what? Sometimes, it actually is.

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The Cowardly Lion

Don’t hold back, Chris, tell us what you really think.

Joe Biden Is a Sniveling, Unabashed Coward
Joe Biden is a coward in every sense of the word. Cowardice emanates from him like rotting garbage. Cowardice overflows his speeches like a drain backing up from a clogged sewer line. Cowardice infects everything he touches. The well from which he extracts his cowardice is truly bottomless. To witness it, in its shameless, reeking putrescence, is utterly cringeworthy.

There is nothing beneath the man. There is nothing he won’t say or do to retain power. This is true of many politicians, but most understand in some Machiavellian sense that at least some show of strength, however artificial, is required from time to time. Even Barack Obama had a moral compass that, on rare occasions, would spring to life just long enough to effect confident, decisive decisions like killing Osama bin Laden (you should recall that everyone in the room except Biden supported the move, a point of shame about which he brags).

Over the years, Biden’s media quislings have laughably associated many virtuous adjectives with him in efforts to fortify his reputation. Decent. Moderate. Accomplished. Steady. Lucid. It is telling that nobody, not even the most ludicrous of leftist outlets, has ever called him brave.

OOOF! I gotta say, this one’s such a fun, enjoyable piece you might actually come in your pants a little from reading the whole thing. Not that you should let that stop you, of course. Just, y’know, be forewarned of the possibility, that’s all.

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Moar Jackass Lee stupidity, stat!

Apparently, the sub-sentient moron never learned the old “If you’re in a hole, stop digging” rule.

In a weird way, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) is the gift that keeps on giving, not so much in the way she represents her constituents in Congress but in how when you’re feeling down, out of sorts, and in need of a little comedic relief, she will be there.

When last we left you, the failed mayoral candidate was in Houston at the Mickey Leland Federal Building to observe the total solar eclipse, which in and of itself was pretty amazing to see. The rambling speech Jackson Lee gave ahead of the eclipse, however, was another matter entirely, as we previously reported:

“[Unintelligible] provide unique light and energy so that you have the energy of the moon at night, and sometimes you’ve heard the word ‘full moon,’ sometimes you need to take the opportunity just to come out and see a full moon is that complete rounded circle, which is made up mostly of gasses. 

And that’s why the question is why or how could we as humans could live on the moon. Are the gasses such that we could do that? The sun is a mighty powerful heat, and it’s almost impossible to go near the sun. The moon is more manageable. And you will see in a moment, not a moment, you’ll see in a couple of years, that NASA is going back to the moon.”

The longtime Congresswoman was, of course, roundly mocked over it, so much so that she took to the Twitter machine to respond to her many critics – which in the process made matters worse for her:


So a member of Congress acting stupidly and who clearly does not know not what the hell they’re talking about when it comes to science is not something that should “really matter” according to Jackson Lee, who I should remind folks once served on the House Science, Space, and Technology Committee and the House Space and Aeronautics Subcommittee.

Seriously.

Is there more, you ask? It’s Sheila Jackass Lee we’re talking about here, people; of COURSE there is. Lots of it, as it happens, the last instance of which will leave you rolling on the floor laughing until the tears flow copiously and a floating rib has parted its moorings from the ludicrous hilarity of it all. Now, back to cleaning my hotel room, Sooperdoopergenius!

Update! Moar yet, even.

During a 1997 visit to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California, Jackson Lee, who was then serving on the House Science Committee and on the Subcommittee that oversees U.S. space policy, asked a guide whether the Mars Pathfinder would be able to show an image of “the flag the astronauts planted there before.” When it was subsequently pointed out that the flag to which she was referring was in fact the one that Neil Armstrong had planted on the Moon—not Mars—in 1969, Jackson Lee complained that she was being mocked by bigots. “You thought you could have fun with a black woman member of the Science Committee,” her then-chief-of-staff wrote angrily in a letter to the editor.

You especially gotta love how, after being sliced, diced, and fricasseed for her original dumbassery, Jackass Lee desperately scrambled to cover her wet-brained sun/moon switcheroo by blibbering, “Obviously, I meant to say the sun.” Oh, izzatso, Einstein? And you want to be “first in line” to live there, you say?

Okay then, fine by me. Some smart soul really needs to head-shed with Elon Musk and see if launching her stupid ass directly into Old Sol can be arranged, thereby making Vacuum-head’s dream come true at last. It’d be a real shame to throw away a Starship doing it though, I guess. On the other hand, it might well be a price worth paying in the long run—particularly if we stipulate that four or five other Congresscritters be compelled to take the one-way ride with their “esteemed colleague.”

Never forget: these are the “people” we allow to (mis)rule us.

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Wait, you mean to tell me it’s NOT made of green cheese?

Q: Is Sheila Jackass Lee (Dumbass, TX) the stupidest Congresscritter EVAR?

A: Probably, yes.

Democrat congresswoman incorrectly tells schoolchildren that moon is “made up mostly of gases”
During an eclipse event at Booker T. Washington High School in Houston, Texas Monday, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee made puzzling remarks about the moon’s composition, incorrectly suggesting it was “made up mostly of gases.” This statement diverged sharply from established astronomical facts, sparking both amusement and concern over public understanding of basic space science.

Key Details:

  • The comments were made as Jackson Lee participated in a community event focused on Monday’s eclipse, aiming to engage and educate attendees about astronomical phenomena.
  • Lee, a former member of the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology, described the moon as a “complete rounded circle, which is made up mostly of gases,” a description that inaccurately represents the moon’s solid, rocky nature.
  • The incident underscores the importance of accurate scientific communication, especially by public figures, in educational settings where misconceptions can significantly impact public understanding and interest in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM).

Another Q that springs immediately to mind: How is it that this chowderhead isn’t doing a job she’s better suited for: cleaning hotel rooms, say, or manning a drive-thru window?

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Tabloid hijinks

Proving once and for all that the New York Post remains the greatest newspaper EVAR.

Heh. Not quite up to the lofty standard established by the NYP’s immortal “HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR” screamin’ splash, perhaps, but still damned good. In my long-past days as a NYC resident, the Post was the only paper I bothered to buy…and it, I tried not to miss.

(Via Joe Jackson)

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Big Boeing trouble

Well, THIS certainly doesn’t stink to high Heaven or anything, now does it?

Boeing Whistleblower Found Dead of ‘Self-Inflicted’ Gunshot, 787 Suffers Another Mishap
Former Boeing Quality Manager John Barnett was found dead in a Charleston, S.C., parking lot on Saturday from a “self-inflicted gunshot wound,” according to local police — opening up yet another bizarre chapter in the troubled aircraft maker’s recent history.

Barnett had given “stark warnings” about quality control issues on two models of Boeing passenger jets, including substandard parts and using Dawn dishwashing soap as a lubricant. The 62-year-old had also claimed that Boeing executives were hiding the company’s safety issues rather than addressing them.

“My concerns are with the 737 and 787 because those programs have really embraced the theory that quality is overhead and non-value-added,” Barnett told TMZ after the infamous Jan. 5 incident when a door plug blew off an Alaska Air 737 MAX 9 that depressured the cabin and exposed passengers to open air shortly after takeoff.

Brian Knowles was Barnett’s attorney and described in an email to Corporate Crime Reporter what happened in the days leading up to Barnett’s death:

John had been back and forth for quite some time getting prepared. The defense examined him for their allowed seven hours under the rules on Thursday. I cross-examined him all day yesterday (Friday) and did not finish. We agreed to continue this morning at 10 a.m. (co-counsel) Rob (Turkewitz) kept calling this morning and his (Barnett’s) phone would go to voicemail. We then asked the hotel to check on him. They found him in his truck dead from an ‘alleged’ self-inflicted gunshot. We drove to the hotel and spoke with the police and the coroner.

If you’re thinking the whole thing stinks, we’re in agreement.

Oh, pish-tosh; don’t be ridiculous, you paranoid, cynical old grumpy Gus. I mean, just ’cause the poor guy shot himself six times in the back of the head with a bolt-action rifle, then hung himself, then ran himself over with his own car, then set himself on fire and swallowed a gallon of Drano, there you go getting all suspicious and untrusting-like.

Why, I have it on very good authority that Hillary Clinton was nowhere NEAR Charleston that night, for starters.

Update! Problem: SOLVED.

Boeing Proudly Announces It Has Fixed Malfunctioning Whistleblower
ARLINGTON, VA — In response to mounting public criticism of its quality standards, aerospace corporation Boeing proudly announced it has fixed its malfunctioning whistleblower.

The longtime industry leader in commercial aircraft manufacturing had been in hot water following a string of highly publicized malfunctions and accidents involving its planes, leaving the company desperate to find a solution to its problems.

“That should take care of everything,” a Boeing spokesman said. “After extensive investigation into the recent engineering and design quality issues, we determined that many of these problems could be traced back to this whistleblower. We are proud to announce that we have, in fact, fixed the whistleblower. Permanently.”

Following the decisive action taken to resolve its whistleblower issue, Boeing expressed confidence that it will be smooth sailing moving forward. “We don’t foresee any more problems,” the spokesman said. “Everyone here at Boeing feels much safer now.”

When asked how fixing the whistleblower would solve ongoing issues with the design and assembly of the aircraft, the spokesman offered the following response: “There aren’t any more problems. Got it? If you disagree, you can take it up with our newest board member, Hillary Clinton.”

Heh. Her Herness© DOES seem to keep popping up whenever one of these “fixes” is needed, doesn’t she? I mean, this makes twice just in this post alone. HMMMMM…

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3

Nuts

I had just about decided to give this item a miss and not bother mentioning it—it’s not as if there’s any news value here at all, it’s a “dog bites man” story if ever there was one—but…but…but…God help me, I can’t. I just can’t.

DOJ Interview Transcript: Joe Biden Made Car Noises, Often Meandered Off-Topic

Say it with me one mo’ time ag’in, everbuddy: UNDERSTATEMENT. OF. THE. CENTURY.

The transcript of Joe Biden’s interview with Special Counsel Bob Hur showed the president frequently wandered off topic, even making “car noises.”

The transcript, obtained by Breitbart News in advance of Hur’s testimony to the House Judiciary Committee, showed a prosecutor had asked Biden about his beloved Corvette, trying to pinpoint the timeline of when classified documents were moved to make room for the car in his home garage.

Attorney Marc Krickbuam asked Biden: “Do you remember whether it was when the Corvette was coming back after the Jay Leno show? So, in other words, it goes out for Jay Leno, eventually it comes back.” Biden responded, “Oh no, it was, it was in and out for a bunch of reasons,” before starting to chatter away.

“Because it drove me crazy; I wanted to drive it,” Biden continued. Krickbaum responded, “Got it. That makes sense. A beautiful car.” According to the transcript, Biden then proceeded to talk about his car, and make car noises.

“And the worst part was, they said I couldn’t drive it outside the driveway. It’s a long driveway. So I’d get to the bottom of the driveway, tack it up to about four grand (indiscernible) (makes car sound) (indiscernible) (laughter),” it quoted Biden.

After continuing on about how he got involved in politics, Hur finally interrupted him, saying, “So, sir, the material that you just — that you remember having, again, trying to steer us back to the end of your vice presidency and focusing on your move out of the Naval Observatory.”

Biden also meandered off on a tangent when asked, “Did you bring classified material with you from the West Wing or the Naval Observatory to the lake house?”

Biden responded, but then veered off into a detailed description of his office and pictures before recalling a trip to Mongolia.

“You know, I went to Mongolia and, and great pictures. I, unfortunately, embarrassed the hell out of the leader of Mongolia.”

“So we’re out in the middle of nowhere and they’re looking up on the hill and we see this tiny line. You know, it’s a 20-mile horse race with all these kids under the age of 16 on bareback racing to come down. And you know, there are sumo wrestlers doin’ everything they do.”

Biden continued to talk about how he was handed a bow and arrow and he hit a target on a hay bale. After that story, one of the attorneys requested to take a break.

Oh, I just bet he did at that.

Horse racing, sumo wrestlers, amateur archery demonstrations. No mention of ferris wheels, funnel cakes, Asian Transgender Cornhole, or Guess The Weight Of The Roundeye Gweilo-Bastard booths, but I betcha Too Old Jaux remembers all those too, every bit as vividly as he “remembers” anything else these days. Sounds like Mongolia has really got it goin’ ON, don’t it?

2

HERE COME THE CANNIBALS!!!

Y’all ready for it? Because I assure you, it’s coming right enough.

Florida border agents placed on high alert for refugees following breakdown of order in Haiti

Heh. I like that “breakdown of order” business, I really do. Like there’s ever BEEN anything remotely resembling order in that shithole country. When Trump referred to it in those specific terms, he was understating the case. YUUUUGELY understating it.

Border agents in Miami have been told to prepare for a wave of migration from Haiti following the takeover of the country by bloodthirsty gangs, The Post has learned.

An internal agency email leaked to The Post pointed out it is unlikely Haitians who take to the sea and enter Florida illegally will be repatriated back to their home country, given its instability.

The message also warned that one vessel of migrants landing would overwhelm agency capabilities in the area.

“One landing will cripple the station and our ability to respond to other traffic,” the email to agents read.

I’m sure Biden has the transport planes loading ‘em up and preparing to move ‘em out of Port Au Prince already. I mean, as some wag or other has already noted, Haiti is, after all, an island nation, one it shares with their neighbors to the east the Dominican Republic…who built themselves a big, beautiful wall to keep the Haitians out a cpl-three years ago or so, I believe it was. That being the case, how the hell ELSE is Pedo Pete gonna get ‘em here, prithee tell?

More on the DR’s wall:

That wall, Dominican authorities admit, appears to have led to a confusion about where the Dominican Republic ends and where Haiti begins.

Even though the wall faces Haiti, both sides of the structure are actually within Dominican territory, the Dominican officials say, and their military has the right to patrol both sides of the wall. Some Haitians, however, claim that the area on the side of the wall facing Haiti is a no-man’s-land and that even if it isn’t, the Dominican Republic ceded its rights to that side once it built the wall. It’s unclear how far away from Haitian territory the wall is located, but the Dominican presidency’s office said that there are clear markers in the area indicating each country’s border.

Either way, the sudden appearance of Dominican soldiers crossing over the wall Monday led to Haitians protesting and burning tires.

Uhhhh HUH. Wall or no wall, Haitians gonna Haitian, I guess.

As for the cannibalism thing, I’ll let Stephen handle that.

There Is No Cannibalism in Haiti — Or Perhaps at Least Some
On a long enough timeline, every Monty Python sketch comes true. It seems like only a couple of years ago (Steve, it was only a couple of years ago—editor) that I reminded you of the classic scene from “Monty Python’s Life of Brian” that both mocked and predicted today’s transinsanity.

Today, we aren’t supposed to talk about cannibalism in the Royal Navy…er, in Haiti.

“May I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy,” Graham Chapman’s RN officer said to a reporter in the classic “Expedition to Lake Pahoe” sketch. “Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit.”

Western news sources are mostly hush-hush on the issue of people who eat people (the luckiest people in the world, according to the song) as Haiti collapses, but the most powerful man in Haiti is a gang leader they call Barbecue “because of his penchant of burning people alive.” There was at least one video going around Twitter/X of one gang member “tearing flesh from the leg of a burning corpse and eating it.”

The clip has since been pulled.

Some dispute whether or not any actual human leg was eaten or if maybe the video was a year or two old. What doesn’t seem to be in dispute is that a guy named Barbecue (“Babekyou” in the local parlance) has helped provide all the necessary ingredients — random violence, approaching famine, crispy human flesh — for cannibalism to come into practice in the Western Hemisphere’s poorest and most screwed-up nation.

“Rights group Plan International said many were fleeing the capital for Artibonite, traditionally Haiti’s breadbasket farming region,” Reuters reported last week, “but whose residents are now facing food shortages as fighting spreads north.”

Biden administration on Saturday was forced to close the U.S. embassy in Port-au-Prince and airlift out all American personnel. CBS News said the move was due to “escalating gang violence,” which is like referring to D-Day as “an Allied visit to the charming beaches of Normandy.”

Haiti’s prime minister, Ariel Henry, fled the country last week and on Tuesday announced that he will resign. The former was absolutely necessary for his own safety, and the latter seems superfluous.

Ace puts paid to the MSM’s usual bushwa.

It’s nothing but gaslighting 24/7 — inserting US troops into a foreign gangwar is “a common and routine practice worldwide.”

“The U.S. Embassy remains open, and limited operations continue, focused on assistance to U.S. citizens and supporting Haitian-led efforts to secure a peaceful transition of power,” it added.

The former president had to flee because of “unrest.”

“A peaceful transition of power” is out the door already.

Yep, I’d say that ship sailed from Haitian waters long, long ago.

Whichever turn matters take from here, there are two things we can be absolutely, positively certain of: 1) Biden’s offstage puppeteers are even now scheming how they can get as many Haitian savages into this country, sucking on Uncle Scam’s sugar-teat, and voting D卐M☭CRAT as they possibly can, as quickly as they can; and 2) El Supremo Generalissississimo “Babekyou” did NOT come by his colorful nom de despot because he’s a genial, honest, reasonable guy who only wants the best for his people and his country.

Which, by the way, is a total shithole. Yet another thing Trump was right about all along.

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