Category: Charity

Asses in seats, gals

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The worst thing that could possibly happen to these WNBA broads would be to pay them what they’re actually worth.

Minnesota Lynx All-Stars reflect on wearing ‘Pay us what you owe us’ shirts
MINNEAPOLIS (FOX 9) – The WNBA had its All-Star Game over the weekend in Indianapolis, and players sent a message to the league before a basket was ever scored.

During pregame warm-ups, players, including Minnesota Lynx star Napheesa Collier, wore “Pay us what you owe us” shirts. Last week, more than 40 players met with league officials as the WNBA negotiates a new collective bargaining agreement. Talks have not gone well as an October deadline looms.

Collier accepted the MVP award for the game, with “Pay them!” chants coming from the crowd as WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert handed her the trophy. Collier talked about it after the game. Collier signed a three-year contract with the Lynx back in 2022. She’s making about $214,000 this season, the final year of her current deal.

Not too shabby a salary just to run like a gimp, jump like an overweight elephant seal, dribble like a retard, and shoot like a grrrrl, before an audience so scant any normal schmendrick could tally up the house using their fingers and toes. And that’s on a GOOD night, mind. My personal favorite bit from the article is this sub-hed:

Why you should care

“Why. I. Should…” Say WHAT again, now? See, that is really just…uhhh, errr, mmph. Mmmmph. *snort, snorfle, gack, giggle* BWAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I’d like to interject a Zen kind of question at this point, if I may:

If there’s nobody watching ‘em play, either in the stands or on the TeeWee, do they keep score? SHOULD they be? If you answered yes to the last question, please give at least three (3) good reasons why you think so.

The gals of the WNBA seem totally unaware of a simple, basic rule governing pro sports, entertainment media, and the arts in toto, namely: If you aren’t putting asses in the seats, it’s not only you as an individual athlete that is doomed to fail; it’s also your team, and eventually, the entire league itself. Doesn’t matter one whit how talented, how charming, how good-looking, how smart, how financially responsible you might (or might NOT) be your own self—try as they might to ignore this fundamental truth, nobody but nobody gets to do so for very long.

Serendipitous spinoff update! Late last night, I ginned up a barely-related addendum to the above post, positing a tenuous connection betwixt suicide and Phillip Sudo’s incredibly awesome Zen Guitar. Really, it amounted to yet another of those annoying, interminable 50-kajillion-word digressions I’ve become so renowned for (rightly so, I must admit). As such, I snipped the OT jabberwock from the above post, plopped it whole, raw, and unexpurgated into a brand new ME draft, and saved the resultant pile to MarsEdit’s handy-dandy “Local drafts” folder, after which I happily yielded the CF podium and went to bed in hopes of getting perhaps an hour or two’s uninterrupted slumber.

I just now remembered the aforementioned digression (mostly over-garrulous logorrhea; entirely too personal to be of much interest to anyone who ain’t me; just meandering with no particular plan or destination in mind, a regrettable tendency I’m increasingly subject to in my dotage) and felt it was really just too damned bad the directionless mess would be an in no wise perfect fit as a CF index-page item.

BUT….

What I can do, probably should do—rather than just wastefully toss some perfectly valid albeit stupefyingly dull ruminations on both these subjects altogether—is dump the whole steaming pile into a fresh new WP Page of its very own, maybe under the “Greatest Hits” header purely as a Navbar space-saving measure.

Yep, I believe I’m gonna get cracking on this minor project straightaway. Notification, as ever, to appear in a later update here once I’ve gotten this rhetorical jalopy cranked up and running smooth as the proverbial baby’s butt—keep watching this space so’s you won’t miss nuttin’. Who knows, it’s barely possible that, contra my earlier discouraging words, you might even find you enjoy reading the dadblame thing.

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SO: how’s Bribem’s Pier of Friendship, Peace, & Harmony© workin’ out for ya, anyway?

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NOT TOO GOOD.

Biden’s Gaza “Pier to Nowhere” a Disaster and National Embarrassment, Breaks Apart
“This is a larger issue than anything happening in that impossible corner of the globe. Over the weekend, we saw yet more indications of an empire in decline deteriorating from bad to pathetic”

“From bad to pathetic.” Yeah, that’s about the size of it, I’d have to say. Pathetic Pedaux Jaux to attempt to retrieve his “pResidential” legacy by declaring war on Israel in 5…4…3…2…

To sum up, then:

  • While the stupid thing was under construction, Hamas launched mortars at it
  • None of the “aid” for supposed “innocent civilians” in Gaza—none of whom actually, y’know, exist—has reached its intended recipients, thanks to Hamas stealing every last ounce of it
  • Then, the whole ill-conceived mishegoss was brought to a screeching, smoking halt when perfectly normal weather and sea states caused a great chunk of it to tear away and float off
  • THEN, the pathetically-incompetent US Army—for some unfathomable reason in charge of what clearly should have been a Navy mission—ran several ships aground trying to retrieve the remains of the silly thing

And now, as if all that clownish half-assery wasn’t enough, this:

Biden’s Gaza pier is sinking into the sea… very few supplies delivered and $320 million in US tax dollars down the drain…
What’s happening to Biden’s Gaza project really puts a spin on “pier pressure.” It’s clear that the Biden administration could give the Keystone Cops a run for their money. It seems everything these bumbling nitwits touch turns to absolute disaster, and the Biden “Gaza Pier” is no exception. Social media is buzzing with photos and videos of the pier seemingly sinking into the sea.

Know who benefits most from this plethora of stumbling, bumbling, and boobishness, though? Jimmeh Peanuthead, that’s who. With this riotously funny shitshow, Bribem has easily supplanted Carter as the by-God worst “pResident” of all time.

1

As ye have sown, so shall ye etc

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Sometimes, just every now and again, actions really DO have consequences.

Michigan police went to an ammunition manufacturer and asked them to donate some ammo so the police could practice shooting. For free. The response is hilarious.

And it most certainly is at that.

NoFreeAmmo 2

Pretty much says it all, don’t it? I’m in full agreement with Divemedic’s closer: “That alone makes me want to buy their ammo.” Don’t it, though. Don’t it just.

3

Publick Notice

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As the more eagle-eyed among you may have noticed already, I reworked the image for the Gab Pay link up top there. One of our most esteemed CF Lifers went to dump a generous donation into the thing recently, only to run into a bit of hassle trying to ascertain what my username might be. So I took that as a sign from God that something needed to be done most ricky-tick, with the result you now see before you. It’s still far from perfect, but hey, it’ll do for now.

And considering the pitiful pittance I receive from Social Security as my sole income now—a very nice staffer-lady from the Brian Rehab Center set it all up for me unsolicited during my nightmarishly extended sojourn there after last year’s near-death experience, bless her kindly heart—anyone who might be tempted to give the revamped linky-doo up there a whirl is heartily encouraged to do so. Thanks, y’all!

Oh yeah, almost forgot: I’ve been thinking of doing as full a write-up as I can manage of that whole experience here, maybe. That is, the parts of it I actually DO remember, some of which memories have been sorta re-injecting themselves into my battered brain of late for whatever damnable reason. It creeps me out, frankly; my mom, brother, and a few others have started in to recount the events for me, and each time I’ve stopped them with a quickness, desperately wanting not to hear any of it. My last trip into the MRI, when I had a full-bore screaming freakout and tried to scratch and claw my one-legged ass out of the infernal machine, was particularly brutal.

On the other hand, maybe getting that stuff out there could turn out to be therapeutic for me, possibly? Exorcise some seriously scary demons by bringing them out of the darkness and into the cold, clear light of day, perhaps? Eh, I dunno. I just figgered I’d put the idea out there, and if y’all are at all interested, I could give it the old college try.

2

Maximally Effective Altruism

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You may have heard of “effective altruism”. It expands on the moral imperative of altruism by adding the imperative to get the most result that you can from your good deed. Thus, ordinary altruism would have you forego spending money on a luxury and instead send that same money to a charity which saves lives. Effective altruism requires that you find the charity which makes the best use of the donation.

Large numbers of Africans have been starving since forever. “Starving”, “undernourished”, or “at risk of hunger”. Whatever. There’s an eternal food shortage or an eternal distribution problem or eternally more people than the available food can support.

There’s also an apparently eternal charity delivery of food and money. Just in my living memory, Ethiopians and Somalis have been the poster children, so to speak, of pity-tripping charity drives.

Hard numbers are surprisingly hard to come by, both for the number of starving Africans and the amount of money spent on direct food aid, farming equipment, trucks, and workers to teach them better ways to farm.

Or maybe not so surprising. In 2021, 282 million Africans were “undernourished”. That’s up from 195 million a decade earlier. (Though all counts are estimates and there’s no guarantee that the same definitions or methods were used in different years, so take it with a grain of salt.) (Salt which the starving Africans don’t need because they don’t have any food to put it on, haha.) That’s after spending billions just in that ten-year period. Again, the amount of money spent on food aid is difficult to track down because of the way numbers are split and conflated, but just the shortfall between pledges and money coughed up during a recent economic downturn was over $15 billion.

The exact numbers don’t matter because all of the trends are in the same direction: the number of underfed or starving Africans is going up even as charity continues to be provided.

Effective Altruism tells us to maximize the benefit of our charitable contributions. As we spend money, the amount of suffering increases. Our donations have a negative benefit. Obviously we must reduce the charity to Africa to zero.

Maximally Effective Altruism tells us that we can further reduce African suffering by taking money out of Africa. Colonialism, in effect.

Oddly enough, a number of Africans have said that they had it better under European colonialism: more peace, less killing, more wealth, less starvation. (Presumably they were talking about British and possibly French colonialism, not Belgian.)

It’s nice when philosophy and practicality give the same answer.

And the answer is clear: Recolonize Africa immediately.

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