GIVE TIL IT HURTS

The continued existence of this site depends entirely on contributions from its readers. If you're able to, please consider donating or subscribing to CF. Thanks!


  

THANKS!

They WANT to believe

I endorse this idea with all my heart and soul.

A satirical writer’s imagination of President Donald Trump in 2018 led to a fantasy script of the unconventional president going viral. In it, Trump was depicted as ordering White House staff to create an entire TV channel devoted to gorillas.

“To appease Trump, White House staff compiled a number of gorilla documentaries into a makeshift gorilla channel, broadcast into Trump’s bedroom from a hastily-constructed transmission tower on the South Lawn,” read an excerpt of the fabricated story published by the Twitter account @pixelatedboat. “However, Trump was unhappy with the channel they had created, moaning that it was ‘boring’ because ‘the gorillas aren’t fighting.’”

Despite being explicit satire, the fable was convincing to many of the same people on the internet who had been persuaded by the media since the start of Trump’s 2016 campaign that he is a “comic book villain.”

The latest conspiracies peddled by the Jan. 6 Committee this week, however, make the fictional tale of Trump’s beloved gorilla channel, posted below in full, appear far more believable. The tall tales coming from the show trial are just as farcical.

Well, I mean, they would be, would they not? That, after all, is why we call them SHOW trials. I had completely forgotten about the hilarious and truly inspired “Gorilla Channel” prank until this most welcome reminder, and Tristan is on the money when he compares the latest madcap episode of the long-running Get Trump! hit comedy series favorably to that earlier one.

On Tuesday, the nine-member panel investigating the regime’s political dissidents brought forward Cassidy Hutchinson, a former aide to White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows.

Over her more than two hours of public testimony, Hutchinson gave lawmakers graphic but far-fetched details about a president gone mad as the riot unfolded on Capitol Hill. At one point, she testified with third-hand hearsay that Trump allegedly tried to violently hijack the presidential limousine to drive himself to the congressional chambers, saying “I’m the f’ing president, take me up to the Capitol now,” and lunging at the throat of his head of security.

According to Hutchinson’s sloppily thrown-together fairy tale, Trump actually reached across the seat back trying to wrestle control of the wheel from his chaffeur, the problem with which ought to be readily apparent to anyone acquainted with a few basic facts about limousines. To wit:


No way
Unpossible

Bit of a reach, wouldn’tcha say? Then again, this guy, who seems to be completely credible, says no, it really did happen. He even captured some video proof of the momentous event:


Okay, I retract my earlier mockery of the lying bint Hutchinson’s lame-ass stab at making the kangaroos on the J6 “court” happy; clearly, this video is much too cool for it NOT to be completely factual and on the level.

All kidding around aside, Hutchinson’s laughable fabrication went all to pieces even faster than is usual for these seemingly endless get-Trump™ schemes, which is pretty damned fast. This one sputtered out within a cpl-three hours of its inception, when Hutchinson’s alleged “sources” all offered to testify under oath that none of it ever actually occurred. Nothing whatsoever new in such clumsy, ham-handed dishonesty from the Swamp vermin, as everyone here will surely be aware.

Tuesday’s unsubstantiated tales aside, Hutchinson’s debunked testimony is far from the only time the Jan. 6 Committee has made up claims to perpetuate its chosen narrative. In December, committee members deceptively manipulated text messages twice, and Cheney fabricated a false timeline of Jan. 6 to indict Trump as complicit in the chaos. Just last week, the committee lied about a DOJ attorney’s involvement in the president’s efforts to halt the certification of the election.

The entire Jan. 6 Committee is built on a conspiracy, weaponizing the levers of government after two failed impeachments to smear political dissidents as having orchestrated a fascist plot to take over the U.S. government. Trump, the story goes, corralled his supporters in Washington, inflamed the mob, and ordered them to overthrow Congress in a failed coup. Cheney painted this exact picture in a statement announcing her intent to impeach. Never mind that the president explicitly instructed his supporters gathered in the capital to protest “peacefully.”

Trump, however, is no stranger to opponents concocting conspiracies to indict him, whether it be allegations of manipulating the Postal Service to rig the election or serving in the Oval Office as a covert Russian agent. The Jan. 6 Committee has merely become the Democrats’ latest hoax, capitalizing on a friendly press eager to pass on portrayals of the former president as being engaged in ludicrous behavior no matter how credible. And yet, their base will still believe what they’re told.

At this rate, the Jan. 6 investigators might as well study whether Trump actually watched the gorilla channel — an equally unbelievable tale. News of the channel might not highlight any episodes of presidential malfeasance, but neither does the president telling a crowd of supporters to protest peacefully.

Since facts, objective reality, and the plain and simple truth are always so inconveniently at variance with the shitlib narrative, making shit up from whole cloth like this is no more than de rigeur for them, the very first arrow they pull from the quiver. The only real surprise here is that, even with such vast experience doing it, they’re no better at lying than they are. In any event, I must reiterate my endorsement of an intense, thorough Congressional investigation of Trump’s Gorilla Channel obssession. The more we hear about all things GC, the better I’ll be pleased.

1

5 thoughts on “They WANT to believe

  1. The only reason they do it is because they know there people WILL believe it and scream about it. Facts don’t matter. I don’t think we get that, and we better start.

  2. You’re blind, Mike! Blind! You and everyone else who refuses to see the truth of Hutchinson’s story.

    The other “debunked” story shows the way to the truth: Trump wanted a gorilla channel. Why would he demand that? Because Trump is secretly a gorilla! Those same enormous gorilla arms let him reach from the back of the stretch limo all the way to the driver’s compartment, and Trump’s gorilla strength let him bitch-slap the driver and grab the wheel.

    Open your eyes and see the truth!

Comments are closed.

Latest Posts

Latest Comments

CF Archives

Categories

Comments policy

NOTE: In order to comment, you must be registered and approved as a CF user. Since so many user-registrations are attempted by spam-bots for their own nefarious purposes, YOUR REGISTRATION MAY BE ERRONEOUSLY DENIED.

If you are in fact a legit hooman bean desirous of registering yourself a CF user name so as to be able to comment only to find yourself caught up as collateral damage in one of my irregularly (un)scheduled sweeps for hinky registration attempts, please shoot me a kite at the email addy over in the right sidebar and let me know so’s I can get ya fixed up manually.

ALSO NOTE: You MUST use a valid, legit email address in order to successfully register, the new anti-spam software I installed last night requires it. My thanks to Barry for all his help sorting this mess out last night.

Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit.

Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) and...you won't.

Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar.

Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

Ye Aulde CF Blogrolle–now with RSS feeds! (where available)

"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

Subscribe to CF!

Support options

Shameless begging

If you enjoy the site, please consider donating:

Become a CF member!

Correspondence

Email addy: mike-at-this-url dot etc
All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless specified as private by the sender

Allied territory

Alternatives to shitlib social media: A few people worth following on Gab:

Fuck you

Kill one for mommy today! Click to embiggen

Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Claire's Cabal—The Freedom Forums

FREEDOM!!!

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
Daniel Webster

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill.”
Charles Bukowski

“A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
Ezra Pound

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.”
John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves."
Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged."
GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free."
Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."
Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
Bill Whittle

Best of the best

Finest hosting service

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

RSS feed

RSS - entries - Entries
RSS - entries - Comments

Boycott the New York Times -- Read the Real News at Larwyn's Linx

Copyright © 2024