Vote Big Dan!

Make America Texas again? Sounds like a plan to me.

Dan Rodimer is a former WWE wrestler who is running for Congress in Texas.

In one of his new ads, he takes aim at Nancy Pelosi and Democrats in Washington, DC and refers to them as ‘commies’ who are ruining America.

If he keeps this up, his chances should be pretty good.

Take my word for it, folks: you do NOT want to miss the campaign video. It’s a real humdinger, that’s what.


The DC article GP links to on the guy is all abrim with rich, buttery Rodimer goodness:

“The commies in D.C. are ruining America,” Rodimer continues. “We have a big problem … I know how to handle Nancy Pelosi and stop her bullsh*t.”

As he steps in a pile of manure, Rodimer says that he will “put a boot right in her socialist platform.”

The congressional candidate slams Democrats for “men in women’s bathrooms, boys in girls’ sports, higher taxes,” and “higher gas prices.”

“They’re building a wall around D.C., but they’re not protecting our borders,” Rodimer adds. “They’re laughing at us.”

Rodimer says that he moved his wife and six children to Texas because he wants to raise his kids in a state that is friendly to the Constitution.

“The communists in D.C. want to shut down our churches, close our businesses, indoctrinate our children, communism in our classrooms, make our daughters unsafe in sports and school, destroy American borders and our American history,” Rodimer continues. “We must stop them.”

Indeed we must, while we still can. Personally, I can’t find anything at all objectionable in any of that, taking it for the both-barrels blast of righteous, double-aught Truth right in the face that it is. Nevertheless, there IS a dark side here, one for which Rodimer can in no way be blamed.

Click on the link embedded in the above Tweet and peruse the responses and you’ll quickly feel the smothering miasma of despair settling over you like fog, as it hits you just how very many shitlibs have already descended on the great Republic of Texas like some Biblical plague, with more almost certain to come. Their peurile, doot-brained attacks on Big Dan are straight out of the Shitlib 101 handbook, quite easily dismissible if one is so inclined to waste time and energy on that futile endeavor, which I ain’t. What’s troubling about it is not that the “arguments” are tough to counter—because actually, they aren’t. It’s that they’re there in the first place, evidence of the dangerous infestation of the very heart of one of freedom’s last, best hopes. If these locusts are allowed to swarm Texas and overcome it, there’ll no longer be any refuge left where Real Americans might escape them.

Ironic as it surely is to note that one of the primary weapons the Twatter Libtards try to wield against Big Dan is the “carpetbagger” canard—which bothered them not in the slightest when HILLARY!™ glommed a NY address solely to enable the drunken megalomaniac to slither her way into the legislature—true-blue Texans shouldn’t let any of it dissuade them from supporting Dan Rodimer without reservation come election day. Not only is the future of the Republic at stake, it would also amount to a bodacious middle-finger salute directed at a whole passel of wretched, snotnosed twerps who have most certainly earned one—that, and a whole lot more besides.

Raycissts and homophobes and hate, oh my!

Sooner or later, they’ll get around to something you DO care about.

It’s time to cancel the Village People

Meh—as a diehard disco-hatin’ rock and roller all my life, I thought so a long time ago. But maybe that’s just me.

Discerning cancellation connoisseurs so far have overlooked one of the most problematic boy bands of the 20th century — and it’s time to change that. The American disco group the Village People features a cast of empenised individuals donning costumes that glorify toxically masculine tropes of the time: a police officer, a cowboy, a construction worker, a sailor, a biker and, bizarrely, a Native American (more on that later).

This mono-gendered depiction of the local proletariat is laughably outdated. While some might say the only thing lesbians are actually good at is running nonprofits, today we know that Sappho’s daughters are just as good as men, probably better, at chasing down perps, roping steer and erecting skyscrapers. But let’s look at the music. Have you ever actually listened to the group’s 1979 hit ‘In the Navy’? On that track, it’s one of the band’s black members who shouts repeatedly, ‘I’m afraid of water!’

That raised my eyebrows. A constantly repeated racist stereotype is that black people can’t swim. The slur conjures up painful memories of the racial history of American swimming pools and that heated debate among the wokerati as to whether water itself is, in fact, racist.

Forget the fact that the music video was made with the help of the US Navy. The Village People, despite cashing in on military trappings, have remained silent on the struggle for trans people to serve openly in the military.

Silence is violence. And the name of the group itself is violence against trans womxn of color. Manhattan’s Greenwich Village today is emblematic of cis-het gentrification and a painful reminder of white real-estate terrorism. Take a stroll down Christopher Street on any given Friday night and see for yourself: trans womxn of color banished to basement stairwells and parked cars to perform sex acts for money in the shadows rather than high on a pedestal wearing golden knee pads.

Moreover, what does the ‘C’ stand for in the Village People’s number one hit song ‘Y.M.C.A.’? That’s right, Christian.

Today’s Alphabeteer is blessed with more enlightened sheroes and none involves cisgender men sporting getups that look like something from a plastic bag in the Halloween aisle at Ricky’s. While today’s paragons of LGBTQQAI2S++ liberation still play dress up, it’s usually as large, hairy women and we broadcast them in benevolently corporate media and in ads for Uber Eats.

The uniforms of true LGBTQQAI2S++ warriors aren’t fitted and pressed but more neon and bedraggled, like some highly poisonous, jungle-dwelling amphibian broadcasting to any creature in sight, touch me and die! The struggle for rights has moved well beyond an insular celebration of one’s own community to shock, revolt and intimidate all the others.

If the Village People wish to make a comeback in the age of woke, and pay penance to all the gender non-conforming children they’ve irreparably damaged, they’ll need a radical overhaul. Let’s rename them while we’re at it: the Global Village People. First to go are those caricatures of working class, Trumpian barbarism, to be replaced with more revolutionary-minded archetypes. Imagine the curtain rising on a packed Las Vegas stadium to reveal a college professor, a clipboard-toting community organizer, an app developer, the world’s fattest man, a Syrian war refugee, and Greta Thunberg — belting their new hit songs, ‘Trans in the Navy,’ ‘Go East,’ and everyone’s favorite open-borders ballad, ‘D.A.C.A.’

If that doesn’t sweep the Grammy’s, you’re all a bunch of bigots.

Well, of COURSE we are. The trick is to embrace their every insult and epithet, wear it with utmost pride, and then dare the shitlibs to do something about that. The moment you show even the slightest sign that you might possibly care even a little bit what they think about anything, you lose.

His got up and go has got up and went

ZOMGtoofrigginFUNNY.


Sorry, Jules; I love ya and all, you know I do. Nonetheless, I must assure one and all that I do NOT “hope he’s ok.” In truth, I do not give a tinker’s damn whether he is or not. Nor do I feel the slightest twinge of pity for this shambolic morgue-escapee. His current plight, after all, was entirely self-created. His suffering—grossly exacerbated by his numerous physical and mental infirmities—is directly and solely a result of his moral and ethical ones.

Biden’s greed, self-absorption, corruption, and core dishonesty led him to where he is. So let him enjoy it, then. This latest humiliating, pathetic collapse doesn’t even amount to a down-payment on the titanic just-deserts debt Gropey owes. He can die screaming and then burn in Hell for a thousand years, as far as I’m concerned.

All of which means I find this next one even more side-splitting:


Heh. Nice shot, Mr Preznit, sir!

Fight the Power!

Pegging away at the insidious Eye in the Sky.

Drone-bottle.png

Kinda small and fuzzy-looking, I know. Hopefully you greybeards will be able to read it okay, but for anyone whose eyes just can’t get that squinty, here’s what it says:

***Attention Wayne Hills Residents***

Please stop throwing beer bottles at the drones. They are property of Portsmouth Police Department and they run surveillance on the property for your protection. We repeat, STOP KNOCKING DOWN OUR ANTI-DRUG ACTIVITY DRONES!

Heh. Yeh, yeh, yeh; suck it, espionage-boy.

However “too little, too late” in coming it may be, as far as I’m concerned there can never be a bad time to start cocking the snook at the surveillance/police state Authority, any way one can come up with to do it. These two are sterling examples of that good old red-blooded American FUCK YOU! spirit—the spirit of for-real resistance, a thing we don’t see anywhere close to enough of these dark days—and the CF chapeau is humbly doffed to ’em for this inspiring display of it. Verily, this anonymous couple is an example to us all.

Plus, as Glasser says in his caption: beer bottles are cheaper than shotgun shells.

Back atcha!

Your sidesplitter of the week.

Readers are probably aware that Gab, the popular social media platform, was hacked last week. Allegedly its entire database was copied, although the encrypted details it contained (user passwords, etc.) have apparently not been penetrated. The hackers, a group calling themselves Distributed Denial of Secrets (previously labeled as a “criminal hacker group” by the Department of Homeland Security), appear to have timed releasing the news to coincide with the CPAC conservative political conference last weekend. They announced triumphantly that they would make the entire database available to “researchers”, to identify “far-right-wing extremists” who use Gab, and all the rest of the usual leftist nonsense.

Unsurprisingly, DDoS lied – or were, at least, “economical with the truth”, as Winston Churchill would have said. They (or someone at least associated with their hacking efforts) appear(s) to have attempted to extort about US $500,000 in Bitcoin from Gab head honcho Andrew Torba, in exchange for not releasing the database. They also appear to have used criminal hacking techniques to gain access to the database, not mere “innocent” tools and tricks. I’m hazy on the latter, not being an expert, but apparently more will come out in the wash. Even stranger, they’ve stated that they will not publicly release the entire Gab database, on the grounds of privacy. Seems strange for them to be concerned about “privacy” after ignoring it by criminally hacking the database in the first place!

What’s worse from their point of view is that Andrew Torba didn’t take their nonsense lying down:

TorbaHackResponse-1.png

Torba has condemned threats of violence against them (or against anyone, for that matter), but some of his fans are taking matters into their own hands. They’re tracking down everyone involved and publishing online as much information about them as they can find. Personally, I can’t help but regard that as entirely appropriate. To paraphrase a Biblical theme, “Do not hack, lest ye be hacked yourselves”!

The term “weaponized autism” has been used to describe 4Chan and its enthusiastic tech geeks. Gab appears to have more than a few of its own. They’ve been digging up all sorts of information about the Distributed Denial of Secrets crowd, some of which is now online at https://yourdaddyjoey.com/Emma-Best/. Here’s what one of their number had to say (click the screenshot below to be taken to the original social media post, and read the responses).

TorbaHackReponse-2.png

And here’s where the hilarity really gets its boots on and starts stompin’, Nancy Sinatra-style.

DDoS certainly seems to be a weird bunch, by anyone’s standards. Here, for example is “Emma Best”.

TorbaHackResponseFreak.png

This terrifying freak has a “husband,” apparently, and Hubby doesn’t seem to much appreciate having somebody turn the fucking tables on his gruesome “wife.”


TorbaHackWAAAH.png

Awwwwww. Say it with me one mo’ time ag’in: WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Also: lolgetfucked

As the post acknowledges, Gab (and Andrew Torba) have explicitly disclaimed violence and doxing – but the DDoS crowd doesn’t appear to accept that. Instead, they seem to believe it’s fine for them to hack others, but not nearly so fine for others to employ similar techniques against them. What can I say except, “Boo hoo”?

Oh, I have a bit more to say than just that. For openers: IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME. The squeamishness on the side of Right about using Lefty fascists’ own methods against them, of “sinking to their level,” becoming “as bad as they are,” &c needs to cease, and I mean yesterday. Many on the Right have insisted on “taking the high road” for years now, which has gotten them nothing other than their asses kicked up between their shoulder blades. Imagine that: down and dirty gutter brawls aren’t won by sticking to Marquess of Queensberry rules. Turns out that sniffing in haughty disdain when one’s opponent proves himself so gauche as to pull a knife, in unseemly breach of all established standards of gentlemanly combat, will only get one cut to ribbons.

Our reverence for civilized conduct, honor, and fair play has become a means of attack by the Left, and a damned effective one it has become. That shouldn’t come as a surprise, though. Evil’s sole raison d’etre is to corrupt, to defile, to degrade. It doesn’t prevail through revelation, but through obfuscation. It doesn’t overcome, it undermines. Evil has always sought to turn strength into weakness, resolution into indecision, clarity into confusion.

So henceforth, every time I see some fascist freak whimpering over someone doxxing his ass in retaliation for an assault on One Of Us, I will NOT feel the slightest dismay or disgust. Nor will you be seeing any tut-tutting in sympathy from me. This websty will offer neither apology for the “offense” nor condemnation of the agent of our vengeance. Whenever some Lefty trash gets his ass doxxed—or hacked, or SWATted, or beaten about the head and shoulders with a stout stick until he quacks like a duck, even—be assured that somewhere, I’ll be standing up and cheering. With a smile on my face and a song in my heart, no less.

The Left enjoys several tremendous advantages in this struggle:

  • Absolute certainty that they will be victorious
  • Unshakable belief in the righteousness of their cause, their right and competence to rule, and their own intellectual and moral superiority over those they intend to subjugate and oppress
  • No reluctance to engage their enemies decisively; perfect clarity about their war aims and goals
  • A no-holds-barred, no-such-thing-as-a-fair-fight, rules-are-for-saps attitude towards all aspects of the war, from weaponry to tactics to how the losers will be dealt with

Meanwhile, Team Liberty dithers, waffles, and rationalizes in preference to straightforwardly acknowledging the ugly truth about The Enemy’s true nature, intentions, determination, and capabilities. In part, this is actually laudable in a way, since this attitude stems from a sense of propriety, decency, and fundamental humanity not to be found on the Left.

Which means that, laudable or not, what it also is is self-defeating—a serious opening-bell handicap which guarantees that, when the bell closing out the final round is rung, Team Liberty will have lost the fight. The sad fact that humanity, decency, and propriety are just more things the Left perceives not as admirable qualities but as additional weaknesses that can be used as weapons against us.

One of Friedrich Nietzsche’s most well-known quotes is this one:

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Maybe so, maybe so. Philosophizing aside, slaying the collectivist/authoritarian monster is going to require some monstrous deeds of ordinarily kind-hearted and peaceable sorts who will no doubt shudder at the thought. Moreover, it is folly at best to imagine that the Left can be reasoned with, bargained with, or somehow rendered harmless and docile via some means other than unconstrained physical violence.

T’ain’t so, Mcgee. Yes, yes, all we really wanted was to be left alone. This, they will not do. Either we submit to them, or we stop them. At this late date, harsh and distasteful as otherwise decent people may find it, the only way we’ll ever free ourselves from the monster’s clutches is if we kill him.

Via Bill, who reminds one and all: Don’t start none, won’t be none. Amen, brother.

THAT’S how you do it!

A woman after my own heart.

MASK MADNESS Female shopper whips off her THONG and wears it as a Covid face mask after supermarket staff refused to serve her
THIS is the shocking moment a shopper whipped off her thong in the middle of a supermarket and donned it as a face covering after being refused service.

The viral clip shows the female customer remove her undies to put on her face after being warned she would not be served without a Covid mask on.

The bizarre incident was caught on camera at a Pick n Pay supermarket in South Africa, and has since caused quite a stir online.

The shopper was asked to put on a face covering by a security guard, but claimed she did not have one.

After threatening to remove her from the store, footage shows the woman then reach under her dress and whip off her thong to use as a makeshift mask.

Another female shopper, reportedly the same woman who went viral earlier in the week for telling supermarket staff to remove their face masks, appeared to congratulate her, saying “well done”.

Well done is right. But naturally, a horde of cowardly Karens came out of the woodwork online to wildly flap their arms and skreeee!! in hysterical condemnation of the righteous babe’s perfect improvisational flipping of the freedom bird at the panic-ninnies. This one cops the award for Most Obtuse:

“We have a serious virus and (she thinks) a G-string will save her. Come on grow up. What must your family think?”

Might want to have a wee gander at the box your own precious little face-diaper came in, Einstein. Chances are it looks something like this:

IneffectiveMask.jpg

Ooops. No prize this time, you quaking lackwit, but thanks for playing our game anyway. A tip of the cap and a big, fat CF kiss a-blown to the sassy lassie who so cheekily gave us all a real-world demonstration of the USMC’s “adapt and overcome” motto, bless her clever self. If she hasn’t already auctioned the thong off on eBay for substantial remuneration, I hope like hell she does.

Cooperation is weakness, weakness is death

Appease the Left all you like. Suck up to them, kiss their asses, go along to get along, makes not a bit of difference; it buys uou nothing. You’re gonna get bit anyway.

To the surprise of precisely zero Rabid Puppies, Baen Books shuttering the Bar didn’t suffice to appease the SJW swarmtroopers after Jason Sanford pointed-and-shrieked at it. As an expression of gratitude for cowering before the mob, Worldcon has disinvited its 2021 Guest of Honor, Baen Books publisher Toni Weisskopf.

In fairness, this almost certainly would have happened anyhow, no matter what Ms Weisskopf did. But demonstrating weakness in front of SJWs is nearly as predictably counterproductive as doing so in front of an angry, snarling dog.

As Vox goes on to note, Progtard-Monster Hunter Larry Correia is…displeased.

Dear WorldCon,

You are cowards.

Several years ago, because some of you were angry at me for getting a bunch of people you don’t like award nominations, us lowly deplorable outsiders with the incorrect kind of politics, you treated my publisher, Toni Weisskopf, like garbage. Years later, after you thought the controversy had safely died off, you felt bad about how you acted and tried to make amends. You invited her to be the Guest of Honor. Only you have no concept of honor. And you screwed her over again.

I’m not here to debate what I did for the umpteenth time. I’m not here to talk to the woke mob you bend the knee to. I’m talking to the regular WorldCon people. I’m here to talk about how you’re fucking pieces of shit who turned your back on someone who was once one of you, someone you called friend, and how after you felt guilty about it years later, you tried to make amends. But the instant it became uncomfortable, you threw her under the bus again.

Toni had been participating in WorldCons for decades. She grew up in your scene. She volunteered. She hung out with you. She helped out. When she got into the publishing business she kept on helping out, whatever you needed, she was always there for you. She became an editor, and a damned good one too (and you fucking know it).

In fact, she became one of the best and most successful editors in the history of the genre… yet year after year, she got no prestigious award nomination, and instead you just kept giving the award to the same assholes from the same publishing house, over and over and over, as you ignored Toni because she was at that publishing house. The uncouth one. You talk a big game about “honoring strong women” as you took turns rotating through the same cadre of old white dudes for best editor.

It took me, the barbaric outsider, to rally the barbaric outsider fans to finally get Toni some recognition in your sainted halls. And even though your bleating social justice contingent threw a fit, you know what most of you old time, old school, long attending WorldConners told me in private? Good. About time.

Possibly a bit too inside-baseball for some CF Lifers, perhaps, but you might enjoy Larry’s big fat “fuck all y’all” missive nonetheless. It really is a thing of beauty.

What do I keep telling you people? Never, ever cede a single inch of ground to the PC mob. All it does is guarantee that they’ll be back with more and bigger demands, until finally they’ve taken everything you have. Another of Mike’s Iron Laws, one that, as you can see, applies even in as arcane and relatively footling a context as this: You cannot placate the implacable, nor sate the insatiable. It’s a mistake to even try.

As I mentioned the other night, I really do need to get busy formalizing and categorizing all those Iron Laws of mine, don’t I?

Update! To sort of nudge myself forward on the MIL project, I went ahead and set up a new category for ’em, and updated this post as the inaugural one therein. Wish me luck…

Shameless suckup smackdown

When we need ya, we’ll call ya, double-dealing bitch.

According to a new report, neoconservative anti-Trumper Nikki Haley reached out to former President Trump on Wednesday to request a sit-down at Mar-a-Lago — but he shot her down.

The opportunist Haley, who has been described by some as “the right’s Hillary Clinton,” trashed President Trump prior to Joe Biden’s inauguration.

According to Politico’s Playbook, “Haley reached out to former President Donald Trump on Wednesday to request a sit-down at Mar-a-Lago, but a source familiar tells Playbook that he turned her down. The two haven’t spoken since the insurrection on Jan. 6, when Haley blasted Trump for inciting his supporters to storm the Capitol.”

Haley’s presidential ambitions have been clear for some time, but supporters of President Trump have already been promoting a “Never Haley” movement on the right. It is clear that she represents the neoconservative GOP of the past, while voters prefer the America First vision of Trump.

I think it’s so sweet how the author seems to think that The Power cares even a little bit about what voters might or might not prefer, as if the consent of the governed was still a thing.

CANCELLED!

Right back atcha, assholes.


Any similarity to the numerous recent calls from tolerant, compassionate Lefty diaper-stains for “reeducation” of Trump supporters and their children is purely intentional, and funny as hell. A small, nearly meaningless gesture, perhaps; I can’t imagine that there could be more than the tiniest handful of Biden-Harris voters willing to share the same zip code with a functional firearm, much less looking to buy ammo for one. But who cares, you gotta love it anyway.

No matter who you voted for last November, you’re probably going to be looking high and low to get ahold of any ammunition for the foreseeable future. Everyone I’ve spoken with in the firearms industry expects that demand will remain high for at least the next few months, and with Biden set to move on his gun ban plans in the next few weeks according to press secretary Jen Psaki, I think we’re going to see another surge in interest on the part of Americans; both current gun owners and those prodded off the fence by the Democrats’ attempt to curb their Second Amendment rights.

As for those gun owners, new and old, who cast their vote for Joe Biden; they may have had very good reasons in their mind, but they’re going to be living with the consequences when it comes to being able to protect themselves and their families.

As they damned well should be. After marauding bands of mostly-peaceful home-invaders have stripped them of all their worldly possessions, then set the house afire as they depart the ruins, let Bidentards one and all be roasted to a crispity, crackly crunch for all I care—trapped inside and doomed, unable to escape their grisly fate for want of any effective means of self-defense.

If it ain’t true, it oughta be

Trump Ron DeSantis is MY President, by God.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on Wednesday did not mince words on a congested conference call with Biden and federal health authorities who are seeking to prohibit domestic travel to and from the Sunshine State. DeSantis and Biden exchanged salvos of biting barbs after the criminal president said the federal government had authority to “restrict movement” of the people.

Citing concerns over the widespread proliferation of Covid-19 variants, Biden said he might have to prohibit vehicle and air traffic until the CDC and NIH were confident that currently available vaccinations had a proven efficacy against emerging strains, such as highly transmissible anomalies from the United Kingdom, Brazil, and South Africa.

Also on the call were “Deep State” Dr. Fauci and acting CDC Director Rochelle Walensky, both of whom championed Biden’s idea and told DeSantis that surging cases in Florida threatened to undermine the federal government’s expansive efforts to mitigate spread across the country. Florida, Dr. Fauci said, was the epicenter of Covid-19 mutations, and argued that new variants accounted for between 15-35% of new cases in Florida.

Walensky argued on the call that any attempt by DeSantis to resist a federally mandated travel ban would be immoral, selfish, and possibly illegal.

Biden echoed her words, and he berated DeSantis for having left Florida’s economy open during “the dark days of Covid.” Moreover, Biden claimed he had unilateral and constitutional authority to protect the nation’s health from “rogue politicians” acting in contravention of established health guidelines.

DeSantis’s initial reply was brief and blunt: “I will not comply,” he said, and then cited the CDC’s own statistics showing a nationwide decline in active Covid-19 cases.

There’s not a single syllable uttered by DeSantis here* that I don’t violently agree with (yeah, I said violently, and I damned well meant to) and endorse with all my blackened heart and blasted soul. Most especially this last part:

DeSantis told Dr. Fauci he trusted his own state health authorities over financially incentivized federal officials.

“How much do you stand to earn from these vaccines, Dr. Fauci? And, Joe, if you continue with this course of action, I will authorize the state National Guard to protect the movement of Floridians,” DeSantis said.

“Address me as Mr. President or President Biden,” Biden said.

“I will not, and you can go fuck yourself,” DeSantis said before hanging up.

*According to this article, at any rate; I’ve just been told my a friend of mine that the story has since been debunked. I don’t know if that’s so, and I don’t care. The quote may be Fake, but it’s as Accurate as they come.

Via Bill, who is somewhat skeptical but nonetheless enthusiastic himself:

I hope, hope, hope this is true. It’s probably too good to try to fact-check, but I would try, if I knew how.

It sounds real, though, especially the imperial hauteur of the Fraud-in-Chief.

Remember when Biden thought that the worst a politician might say to him would come via a mean Trump tweet?

Well, we’re moving on to a little harsher stage now. And Crooked Joe and his entire crime family, along with his communist cadre, can all go fuck themselves.

Remember, soft secession and nullification begins with a hearty “Fuck You, Joe!”

Bingo. “Go fuck yourself, Joe” ought to be the watchwords of our age, in the hearts and on the lips of every Real American from this day forward.

Update! Just revisited the piece out of curiosity, and lo and behold, they’ve added an update:

Addendum: We are aware that various so-called fact checking agencies are disputing our account of the telephone call, claiming that the governor’s office has denied the event happened. These so-called fact checking parties are run by the Democratic Deep State. Real Raw News stands by our story and its source, and we would love to see DeSantis comment on it personally.

So would I, buddy, so would I. I doubt that’s at all likely to happen, for all sorts of perfectly good reasons. But if DeSantis should decide to speak up and stand by the story and the quotes therein, I swear I’d follow the man through the very gates of Hell, with a song in my heart and a smile on my face every step of the fucking way.

Suddenly, a reason to care about the Stupor Bowl

Since I haven’t given a fart in a whirlwind about the Negro Felons League since the first players’ strike back in the eighties, I maintained a personal tradition by wasting not one moment of my attention on this year’s Chinkenpox-attenuated Stupid Bowl sub-extravaganza. Accordingly, I spared myself the immersion in a marinade of PC scolding via the halftime ads, including the shitfling starring phonus-balonus limousine liberal and New Jersey Pudhead nonpareil Bruce Springsteed in his accustomed role.

Happily enough, Larry Correia somehow acquired an Eyes-Only-classified copy of the words the Wokester ad execs stuffed betwixt the locked jaws of the self-proclaimed Champion Of Duh Workin’ Mayan™to share with us unhip flyover-country nonentities who may have missed it, intentionally or otherwise. Before we get to that, though, here’s Correia’s idea of what the preliminary storyboarding might have been like:

“You know, sir, during our celebrity voice over talking about the dichotomy between the two sides of the country, to contrast the red staters playing in the dirt, we should put a bunch of big gleaming pretty glass buildings in the background, so that we can subtly remind them that we’re above them.”

“Good call. And for the fly over people get all the cow skulls, broken wind-mills, and silos you can find. We can’t ever let them forget their place. Alright, on that voice over, what celebrity is hot right now with those racist dipshits?”

“Cardi B? She’s a Hash Tag Strong Woman.”

“No. Everyone knows Red Staters hate women. I saw it on the Hand Maid’s Tale. We need nominally male gender identifying, someone who represents those backwards inbred hicks. Can we get Bruce Springsteen?”

“But sir, isn’t he a flaming liberal from New Jersey who campaigned for Joe Biden and who routinely sneers at our target audience of uneducated rubes? Since they’re feeling mocked, disenfranchised, and thousands of them just lost their high paying energy jobs, how can we foist a coastal elitist millionaire musician on them?”

The MBAs all share a confused and worried glance about how to overcome this seemingly insurmountable issue.

“Hmm…  But what if we stick him in a cowboy hat?”

“BRILLIANT!”

Oh, absolutely! Moving on to the script:

Hi. I’m Bruce Springsteen, millionaire musician, but today I’m driving around bumfuck nowhere in some busted ass old jeep to a melancholy soundtrack looking like an extra on Longmire so that you know I’m JUST LIKE YOU. Poor.

Look. A cross. Because Jesus or something. I don’t know. I got paid like two hundred grand for one day of work. Here’s some high-minded sounding poet laureate style voice over about how we’re all in this together that I probably recorded in the studio in my mansion.

Now I’m gonna be extra sanctimonious about how hard it is to meet in THE MIDDLE.

Red versus Blue… Sure, team blue was all #RESIST for the last four years and endless goofy investigations, but if you think security videos of 50 mystery boxes being delivered by a Detroit election van at 3:00 AM is worthy of an audit you are basically a terrorist who needs to be cancelled and driven from society.

Citizen versus Servant. Like it’s okay for riots to burn the places where citizens live and work for months on end, but if the servants are inconvenienced for a day that’s basically a coup that requires more troops than we landed on Utah Beach.

We need that connection. We need the middle. Because somebody has to pay the taxes to bail out our hedge fund buddies.

There’s a Divide. Of course that divide is your problem and totally not our fault. Look, a horse.

Our light has always found its way through the darkness. Said darkness obviously being four years of somebody we didn’t like briefly keeping us from doing every crazy ass thing we wanted to. Have some more executive orders.

But there’s hope… on the road… because we installed an old white segregationist who got millions funneled to him through his crackhead son from communist China… but if you talked about that in October you got kicked off the internet for Fake News. But now the news is real. So Hunter got a book deal from the same publishing house that cancelled a senator’s book about the dangers of Big Tech censorship.

Damn… How many crosses do you people need?

To the ReUnitied States of America. We even made the star red too because we are completely incapable of any introspection whatsoever.

Buy our shit.

Good stuff for sure. For a further setup for my payoff pitch, have yourself a gander at the damage done to Sudden Patriot Brucie’s ravaged, leathery mug by long years enjoying the Lifestyle Of The Rich And Useless:


YIKES. Also, OOF. The knockout-punchline, as coined by an astute AOSHQ commentard:

21 Bruce looks like that Indian who beat the drum in the Covington kid’s face. Posted by: x4

And—provided we all overlook the excess poundage put on by all those expensive meals cooked up by Working Class Bruce’s personal gourmet chef, along with the luxe dentition denied the penurious Chief Sues-A-Lot—well, damned if he don’t at that. Which, for a smarmy egotist like Springsprangsproing, is bound to smart a goodish bit.

Hey, who says there ain’t no justice in this world?

Lick it up

Somebody get the bitch a big spoon, stat.

I am a staunch supporter of Joe Biden and voted for him to save this country. Now I ask him to save my restaurant from the good intentions of progressive policy makers.

I own Pizza By Elizabeths, just outside Wilmington. The restaurant is named after the two Elizabeths—me and my former business partner, Betty—who founded it in 1993. It features an upscale-casual menu with vintage wines. Our guests dine under French chandeliers, alongside wall decor featuring other well-known Elizabeths, from the queen to Betty Boop.

We pride ourselves on serving all Delawareans, including the president. Mr. Biden, who at times has frequented our establishment two to three times a week, has been a great and gracious customer.

Yet friends can have disagreements. The president and his team may understand Delaware politics, but I’m not sure they understand the difficulties of Delaware restaurants. How else to explain his proposal to raise the minimum wage for our servers and bartenders from $2.23 an hour to $15—an increase of more than 400%—which would be a death knell for our industry?

Oh, they understand, insofar as they can be said to understand anything at all. It’s just that they don’t give a shit, see. Once you figure that part out, everything else suddenly makes sense.

And quite frankly, when it comes to Biden supporters like you, neither do I. The Biden-Harris junta‘s authoritarian intentions were spelled out explicitly throughout the campaign. Nor is there the slightest ambiguity about the kind of meddlesome, fingers-in-all-pies government the Democrat-Socialist Party stands for, not anymore. You voted for this. You did so knowingly, of your own free will. Now you think yourself entitled to whine and cry because your guy is doing what he told you he was going to do? You expect sympathy for the awful, awful plight you brought on your own damned selves?

Sorry, not sorry. Idiots like you are gonna learn what the shit end of the Progtard stick smells like, so to speak, and I think it’s a fine thing. Stupidity should be painful, in all kinds of ways, lest it go on steadily increasing. So yeah, I hope you lackwits get everything you voted for, good and hard, and I hope it rocks your fucking world right off its axis. Enjoy poverty, homelessness, and immiseration, shitlibs. Welcome to the New Normal you inflicted on all of us. May you have joy of your choice.

It ain’t my favorite KISS song by any stretch, nor are the lyrics in any way related to the topic at hand. But considering my post title above, along with the mention of Gene Simmons in the previous one…awww, what the heck.



Le mots juste

Precision, people. In language, as in all things.

When You Think of Joe Biden Is ‘Swagger’ Really the First Word That Comes to Mind?

Not hardly. Not first, nor last, nor anyplace betwixt. I doubt I could ever GET that sloppy drunk, honestly, even back in my heyday for such things. Not for lack of capacity or will, mind; the spirit(s) is willing, though the flesh be weak. It’s just that there ain’t that much liquor on the entire planet.

We went four years without glossy magazine covers trying to puff up the image of the sitting president. And no magazine ever featured our former first lady, an actual fashion model, either. The Bidens have now graced several, but this may be the most absurd. GQ Hype in the U.K. gave President Biden a fashion spread that is just….gag-worthy. The cover reads “Joe Biden, Swagger-in-Chief!” with a picture of the president LARPing Garth Brooks sitting on the tailgate of a vintage pick-up truck, complete with a few bottles of Budweiser at his side:

This magazine is trying to turn a septuagenarian from Delaware with cognitive issues into a heartthrob. Really? Swagger?

Stagger is a lot more like it. They were closer than you might think, actually; they only flubbed it by the one letter. In a sense, though, this embarrassing rumpswabbery is an entirely fitting thing. The fluffer-girls at GQ stitched up a phony image promoting one of the biggest phonies ever to occupy space actual humans might require for other, more useful purposes. They’re propping up a prop, creating a character for a man bereft of any. You don’t get more fitting than that.

Additionally, there’s GQ Hype itself to consider. I mean, could there possibly BE a magazine more appropriately named? C’MON, MAN!!!

Hope they put Dress-Up Joe into a Spiderman costume next. Or maybe do Gene Simmons, of KISS. I think that would be pretty cool.

Gathering steam

Can’t stop the signal, shitlibs.

Former President Donald Trump has actually gained — not lost — political clout since leaving office, a political observer asserted Friday.

Politico reporter Tara Palmeri’s observation runs contrary to the assumptions of many in the Washington D.C. establishment and the mainstream media.

“People don’t want to hear anything against Trump,” Palmeri said during an appearance on MSNBC. “Actually, the more he stays out of the media, the more that he becomes this martyr, this looming figure over the GOP.”

In the most stupefying act of political hara-kiri in memory, the treacherous, backstabbing GOP willfully rendered itself irrelevant for all time. Trump people couldn’t possibly care less about them. They achieved their ignoble doom the old fashioned way: they earned it. Now let them enjoy it, to the last bitter dregs.

In fact, there is now a “crusade” being waged on behalf of the former president in places like Wyoming, where Trump is “way more popular” that the state’s high-ranking congressional Republican, U.S. Rep. Liz Cheney, Palmeri said.

She drew the conclusion after speaking with locals in the Cowboy State about Cheney’s vote to impeach Trump while covering an anti-Cheney rally led by Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fla.

“I actually went out of my way to try to find someone who would defend her and I really could not,” Palmeri told MSNBC. “She didn’t have that much name recognition, considering she’s a Cheney…I mean, I said her name at a hardware store, and someone shouted a threat.”

Good. You idiots, most certainly to include tapeworms such as Cheney, have not the vaguest clue what you’ve stirred up out there. Clue to the clueless: it’s going to get much, much worse.

She then described an apparent disconnect between what’s perceived as truth in D.C. and what’s perceived as truth in Cheyenne. Palmeri mentioned locals not wearing masks, expressing distrust of the coronavirus vaccine, claiming both that the number of reported deaths from the pandemic were “inflated,” believing the 2020 presidential election wasn’t legitimate, and that the Jan. 6 riot on Capitol Hill was “staged” by Antifa.

Every bit of which is literally, verifiably correct. There’s a disconnect, all right, but for reasons other than what our self-proclaimed “elites” want to think, or can afford to admit to themselves.

“I hate that they’re so distrustful,” Palmeri said.

Maybe your and your fellows should have thought a little harder before you committed the innumerable acts that created and nurtured that distrust, then. Hate it all you like, but the distrust is more than justified, and corrective action is way overdue. Meanwhile the Trump train, in whatever form and by whatever name, keeps a-rolling.



Johnny Burnette, the great Paul Burlison, and the incomparable Bettie Page for added heat—I ask you, what’s not to like?

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

Fake Phony Fraud(s), S'faccim: two excellent descriptors coined by the late great WABC host Bob Grant which are interchangeable, both meaning as they do pretty much the same thing

Mordor On The Potomac: Washington, DC

The Enemy: shitlibs, Progtards, Leftards, Swamp critters, et al ad nauseum

Burn, Loot, Murder: what the misleading acronym BLM really stands for

pAntiFa: an alternative spelling of "fascist scum"

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