A noble idea

Ever since my Madeleine was born, I’ve thought a great deal about, but somehow never quite gotten around to, putting together for her a sort of quasi-biographical compilation encompassing but not necessarily limited to:

  • My stories of the rock ’n’ roll road life and the many musical icons, actors, painters, authors, and other such notables and quotables I’ve rubbed elbows with along the way
  • Other enduring interests of mine such as riding and wrenching on custom go-fast Harley Davidsons and vintage beater Fords
  • Shooting, full-auto subguns in particular
  • Aviation and aircraft, both military and civilian
  • Reading and/or writing, both fiction and non-fiction
  • Website design, construction, and management
  • US history, Civil War v1.0 in particular
  • Philosophy, logic, and Western literature
  • Rockabilly, blues, bluegrass, trad country, classical, swing, and early (ie, pre-bebop) jazz
  • Composing, recording, and performing my own original music
  • My years in NYC

It would be a fine thing, I think, to be able to pass this stuff on to my daughter for purposes of self-explanation, a way for her to know who and what her Daddy was to the fullest extent practicable. And now, thanks to AoSHQ’s scampydog, I’ve found what looks to be a handy dandy kick-in-the-butt motivator for getting started on this admittedly daunting project at last. Namely: Your Father’s Story.

About this item

✨YOUR FATHER’S STORY: Have you ever wanted a more in-depth look at your father’s life? What he valued most from his parents or maybe a funny habit that he had as a child? This journal will uncover all of the little things you might not know about your father.

✨DOCUMENT HIS LIFE: The Your Father’s Story journal is filled with prompts for your father to write his memories and knowledge to pass on to you, give you more insight into his live and experiences that have helped shape him and in turn, help shape you.

✨CHERISH THE MEMORIES: Strewn throughout the journal are inspirational quotes as a reminder to treasure the moments, to remember what was and have the courage to pass it forward.

✨LAYOUT: Prompts are divided into six chapters with one to two questions on each page. Gift our journal to your father and discover new details about his journey through life.

✨PREMIUM PAPER: Let his story unfold on premium cream-colored writing paper. We care about preserving your memories, our “Acid-free” paper resists the yellowing and crumbling that comes with age.

✨YOUR STORIES SERIES: Get to know your family history with our new guided journal series. Click the blue “Piccadilly” button under the title to find all our family journals, sketchbooks, guided journals, notebooks and more!

Pretty cool, no? Next time I get my hands on a few spare shekels, I’ma look into picking one of these things up. A bit too rich for my po-ass blood on Amazon, but they can be had on eBay at a more reasonable tariff.

Update! The above mention of full-auto subguns reminded me of my personal all-time favorite pic of Madeleine’s mama, to wit:

Snapped by Yr Humble Hoste at Shooter’s Express in Mt Holly, immediately after the ex had popped off an entire thirty-round stick magazine at full auto for the first time in her life, using the über-righteous H&K MP5 chambered in the venerable Europellet 9mm. Her beatific, rapturous smile should tell any deprived soul who hasn’t experienced the deliriously pulse-pounding thrill of full auto pretty much everything he/she will ever need to know about how much fun it really, truly is.

Man, I seriously LOVE that photo, it’s a real gem. Like I always say: you haven’t really flown until you’ve flown an open-cockpit biplane, and you haven’t really shot until you’ve shot full auto. Trust me, that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nuttin’ but the truth. Oh yes, I knew that huge grin was coming, so I stood behind her waiting for it, digital camera in hand (what was that little thing anyhow, Sony, Canon? Can’t remember now, but it’s still around here someplace), prepped, aimed, and ready to capture the moment.

A cpl of other MP5 snaps, then. First up, my dearly beloved NYC partner in crime Rachel, now tragically deceased:

God only knows how Rachel managed to find a range in NYC where she’d be allowed to shoot an MP5, much less the MP5 itself; she emailed me that pic with no further explanation, and insouciantly laughed me off every time I asked about it, which was just like her. Then again, knowing that wild, wilfull, and wanton woman as well as I did, it must be acknowledged that if anybody in the world could pull off such an extraordinary feat, it would have to be her. Could ONLY be her, actually.

6 feet nothing of mostly long, shapely legs, thick, stick-straight black hair, and big giant titties; eternally sarcastic; unfailingly cheerful, confident, and socially adroit; the snappiest dresser you ever did see, whether in a lovely vintage dress and heels or her preferred black jeans, T-shirt, and scuffed-up engineer boots—verily, Rachel was in a class of her own. They broke the mold and threw away the pieces the day that girl was made. Of all the multitudinous Pyrsynzz Of Vagina I’ve known over lo, these many years, I never met another quite like Rachel Gudera, bless her big ol’ heart.

Rachel also happens to be the naughty little girl who once sent me the best Christmas card I ever received. It’s on the hard drive somewhere, I think; I’ll see if I can dig it up and post it in an update.

Of course, I simply MUST throw in a snap of little ol’ moi firing SE’s rental MP5, right before I reloaded and passed the sweet-shooting little beastie along for the ex-wife to get her projectile-weapon rocks off on.

Good times, folks, good times indeed.

Not nice update! A-yup, found the aforementioned Xmas card. CAUTION: definitely NSFW, this one. Delicate, less-worldly sorts are hereby advised to avert their eyes. I’ll tuck it below the fold so as not to spook the horses, frighten the children, or offend the aged and infirm.

Continue reading “A noble idea”

Happy Pearl Harbor Day!

SO, here’s where we’re at 83 years on: “Great” Britain, France, and Germany have all been overrun by Mooselimbs, without ever bothering to put up a fight. The FUSA has been overrun by pretty much everybody, including the ChiComs, who already effectively owned it lock, stock, and barrel anyway. Japan, after looking for a few years there like they’d be the Far Eastern nation that was gonna end up owning everything and everybody, is now a floundering economic and military basket case whose young men have been so cowed, beaten down, and feminized they can’t even be bothered to chase pussy anymore.

The Dutch? Same-same. Spain is well on its way to becoming Andalusia v2.0, just another brick in the global-caliphate wall. The Eyeties? Who cares. Does that country still even exist?

Korea is still scarred by a fiercely-enforced DMZ separating its two (2) halves after the Chinks stepped in and dealt the Yanks a solid ass-whupping which ran them back across the Yalu and out of Korea altogether. After almost two (2) decades of pointless war Vietnam was reunified, which all involved parties seem to regret.

Russia is having tremendous difficulty kicking ass and taking names against an adjoining former-USSR shitrapy around one-sixteenth its size which has been saddled with a corrupt government led by a midget robbing both his own nation and the FUSA blind.

Meanwhile, the FUSAn central goobermint is under the iron-fisted control of a shadowy cabal of authoritarian incompetents whose identities We Duh Sheepul will never know, not that most of us seem to care all that much one way or the other as long as we still have Netflix and Super Bowl Sunday to placate us. Said cabal installed as its frontman “President” a hilariously inept, barely-ambulatory, shameless, astoundingly corrupt, unintelligent career conman so far advanced into the final stages of dementia he has repeatedly gotten confused about where he is, why he’s there, how he got there, who brought him, who he’s supposed to be talking to, why certain ex-people who died years ago aren’t there, etc etc.

Then his own criminal organization masquerading as a political party elbowed him out and anointed as his replacement a visibly drunk, embarrassingly inarticulate, cackling old whore that nobody but NOBODY liked at all. Thankfully, an irrepressible, rambunctious, fun-loving outsider promising vengeance against the Swamp critters who have tormented him and his family incessantly for nigh on a decade kicked the day-drinking whore’s ass so hard she ended up wearing it as a hat, crushing her well beyond the margin of fraud which had sufficed to install the previous two (2) “Presidents” at the very least.

Now tell me again who won WW2, please. Hell, for the matter of it, can anybody truthfully be said to have won it? From where I’m sitting, it’s beginning to look like EVERYBODY lost.

No pressure

Is the misbegotten Daniel Penny trial coming apart at the seams? Or is the biased, rabidly anti-White “judge” attempting a little kangaroo court jiggery-pokery in hopes of teasing out a guilty verdict somehow, some way, on ANY charge at ALL?

Daniel Penny trial judge agrees to drop top manslaughter count after jury deadlocks twice
A Manhattan judge on Friday agreed to drop the top charge against Daniel Penny in the subway chokehold death of Jordan Neely.

“We move to dismiss the top count of manslaughter in the second degree,” Assistant District Attorney Dafna Yoran told the court at around 3:30 p.m.

The judge then signed off on the request — which came after jurors twice said Friday they couldn’t come to a verdict on the manslaughter rap.

The 12-person panel will continue deliberating Monday on the lesser charge of criminally negligent homicide, which Penny, 26, faces in the fatal May 2023 encounter aboard an uptown F train.

He has pleaded not guilty.

Which, of course, he is. In truth, the man is a bona fide hero—and in a sane, righteous city (if any still exist in Amerika v2.0) he’d be hailed as one for such an exemplary display of selflessness, initiative, physical courage, and derring-do in defense of a subway-car load of total strangers. Instead of this revolting abomination of a politically driven witch-hunt stunt of a show-trial of a shit circus, NYC ought to’ve expressed appreciation and humble gratitude via a tickertape parade down Broadway in Penny’s honor for stepping up like he did to protect his fellow straphangers from an aggressive, proven-dangerous predator with an extensive record of mental illness, serious health issues, substance abuse, chronic hallucination, and random violence.

Poor Perry Mason must be spinning in his grave on an 800-horsepower rotisserie rack at this vile molestation of the very concept of justice.

It’s a lead-pipe cinch that every other passenger riding the train that day (hell, any day, EVERY day) would’ve sat timidly back, kept quiet, and pretended not to see a thing, hoping and praying that said maniac would just pass them by and go threaten, harass, and assault somebody else. How sad it is that, in the topsy-turvy, Bearded Spock universe NYC clearly prefers, any valiant soul who unhesitatingly puts his own safety—his very life, even—on the line for the sake of others will inevitably wind up being the victim of 1) Überstadt malifecence, and 2) the cowardice, complacency, and ignoble self-absorption of his fellow New Yorkers ere the end.

When men were men, and sheep were scared

Bayou Peter kicks things off thusly:

As part of my research for a forthcoming book, I’ve been reading up about the history of dueling in New Orleans during the 18th and 19th centuries. I came across this very unusual account.

“Unusual,” he says. “Unusual,” forsooth! Just get a load of this, it leaves “unusual” in the dust.

M. Augustin … who afterward became a district judge and general of the Louisiana Legion, was the victor in several … encounters in which the temper of the period caused him to be engaged. One in particular is noteworthy on account of the part it played in an extraordinary freak of fortune. Alexander Grailhe was the offending party, though the insult (or rather provocation, for gentlemen seldom insulted) would in this day be of scant concern. But some cause of action was present, and each was sure that a deadly meeting would certainly follow. They rode together in a carriage with ladies, who, after the duel, commented on their mutual affability during the entire trip, which only serves to show how delicately adjusted was the code of etiquette—especially in the presence of ladies.

They fought at The Oaks, and as soon as the weapons had been crossed and the impressive “Allez, Messieurs,” pronounced, Grailhe, who was high-strung and hot-blooded—doubly so under the stress of what he regarded as a grievous provocation—lost his temper and furiously charged his antagonist. Augustin, on the contrary, was cool, collected, and agile, parrying each savage thrust, until by a temps d’arrêt (sudden pause), judiciously interpolated into a vicious lunge of Grailhe’s, he pierced him through the chest. Grailhe, with one of his lungs perforated, remained for a long time hovering between life and death, and when at last he did come out of his room, he was bowed like an octogenarian.

It was now only a question of time for the wounded man, as an internal abscess had formed where it could not be reached, —surgery then was not what it is now,— and the doctors despaired of saving him. Some time after he had been up and about, a quarrel with Col. Mandeville de Marigny resulted in his challenging that distinguished citizen. This duel was also fought at The Oaks, but as Grailhe was too weak to do himself justice with a sword, the weapons chosen were pistols at fifteen paces, each to have two shots, advance five paces, and fire at will. At the first shot, fired simultaneously, the unfortunate man fell forward, pierced by his adversary’s bullet, which had entered the exact place of his former and yet unhealed wound. Marigny, with pistol in hand and as placid as a marble statue, advanced to the utmost limit marked out, when Grailhe, who was suffering greatly, exclaimed: “Fire again; you have another shot.”

With grave dignity Marigny raised his pistol above his head and fired into the air, saying with frigid politeness: “I never strike a fallen foe.”

More dead than alive, the stricken duelist was carried home by his friends and consigned to the care of his physician; but instead of sinking rapidly, as was expected, he really began to mend, and by the following morning was much improved. The ball had penetrated to the abscess which had threatened his life, and made an exit for its poisonous accumulations. Some time afterward he walked out of his room as erect as ever, and soon regained his health and stately bearing.

YOWZA! I don’t think even “bizarre” quite meets the case here—downright otherworldly, I’d call it.

End Times alert!

Well whaddya know, maybe Woke really IS dead after all.


When the Superdooperdoublesecretultraüberlibs at Apple release an ad as White family-positive as this—not a jot or tittle of mockery, sarcasm, or sneering; no thinly-veiled insinuations of LiterallyHitlerGenocideNaziSupremacissism in sight—something’s going on out there.

Steve Jobs must be spinning in his grave. Which, just this once, is by no means a bad thing.

Brine shrimp

Anybody out there old enough to remember Sea Monkeys?

Sea-Monkeys is a marketing term for brine shrimp (Artemia) sold as novelty aquarium pets. Developed in the United States in 1957 by Harold von Braunhut, they are sold as eggs intended to be added to water, and most often come bundled in a kit of three pouches and instructions. Sometimes a small tank and additional pouches are included. The product was marketed in the 1960s and 70s, especially in comic books, and remains a presence in popular culture.

Ant farms had been popularized in 1956 by Milton Levine. Harold von Braunhut invented a brine-shrimp-based product the next year, 1957. Von Braunhut collaborated with a marine biologist, Anthony D’Agostino, to develop the proper mix of nutrients and chemicals in dry form that could be added to plain tap water to create a suitable habitat for the shrimp to thrive. Von Braunhut was granted a patent for this process on July 4, 1972.

They were initially called “Instant Life” and sold for $0.49, but von Braunhut changed the name to “Sea-Monkeys” in 1962. The new name was based on their salt-water habitat, together with the supposed resemblance of the animals’ tails to those of monkeys.

Sea-Monkeys were intensely marketed in comic books throughout the 1960s and early 1970s using illustrations by the comic-book illustrator Joe Orlando. These showed humanoid animals that bore no resemblance to the crustaceans. Many purchasers were disappointed by the dissimilarity and by the short lifespan of the animals. Von Braunhut is quoted as stating: “I think I bought something like 3.2 million pages of comic book advertising a year. It worked beautifully.”

Good old American marketing genius and ingenuity, that’s what, enhanced by a heaping helping of old school medicine-show hucksterism. What reminded me of it all was this post over at BRM. I tried leaving a comment over at Peter’s joint, but I don’t think it took.

There are several iterations of the Sea Monkeys ad findable via Luxxle search, but the one I remember best is this one:

Please note the disclaimer at bottom left—truth in advertising if ever I saw it, although as a kid I of course would pay it no heed. After refusing for a few years, my Dad finally consented to order some for me back then, and I must say the main result of the whole project was profound disappointment. Be all that as it may, one has to ask: was the world really a more fun place then, or were we all just more gullible? All things considered, this might be the perfect time to embrace the healing power of “and.”

Being New York

Not a hell of a lot of fun in it these days, I’m afraid.

Straphanger slugged by irate seatmate wrestles attacker to floor — but then fellow passengers helped HIM after he ‘turned into a little b—-h’
A straphanger was slugged in the face by an irate seatmate on a Manhattan-bound subway, but he managed to wrestle the “little b–ch” to the floor — but that’s when fellow passengers jumped in to help his attacker.

Alexander Rakitin, 42, was riding the N train to his Manhattan finance job Monday morning when he sat down next to 34-year-old Timothy Barbee.

As the train took off, the car jolted, causing Rakitin’s knee to jostle Barbee’s — which set the alleged assailant off.

“Apparently my knee touched his knee. That triggered him,” Rakitin told The Post.

“He was just very aggressive. I’m like, saying, ‘Dude, just chill, it’s like 8:30 in the morning. Like, who needs this s–t? Just chill.’”

Footage taken by another straphanger captured the two staring each other down, before Barbee yelled “It’s f–king done, stop staring at me” — and proceeded to tell the protesting Rakitin to “Make me chill” and “Shut the f–k up.”

Their verbal exchange quieted for a moment while they continued to stare each other down, before Barbee said, “I ain’t got time to go to jail today.”

Then he smacked Rakitin across the face — sending his glasses flying — before the camera cut out.

“I was able to wrestle him to the ground after that, and just kind of hold him,” Rakitin said. “And the craziest part was that — and this is literally upsetting, like I’m actually emotional about it — people on the train were trying to help him. Like, that was the most insane thing.

“It was also remarkable — he went from acting like such a thug. And then he turned into a little b—h right away. He’s like, ‘I can’t breathe. Please, let me go. Please, let me go. I can’t breathe. Somebody give me some water. I can’t breathe.’ And people started giving him water. That was so insane.”

Gotta give the candy-ass nigger credit for one thing: he seems to have taken fully aboard the things he needs to say so as to get him off the hook for being an obstreperous, mouthy, violent subway-shitbird, what with all that “I cain’ breeve, I cain’ breeve ’n’ sheeit” horsepuckey.

Rakitin’s stunned assessment is mostly on target in re his fellow B&T straphangers who jumped in to render aid to his attacker, except that “insane” doesn’t even begin to meet the case here. What they of right ought to have been doing was getting in some good, stiff kicks to the ribs and head while Rakitin had the PoS pinned for ‘em. That’s a world’s-record instance of squandered opportunity, if you ask me, a true teachable moment flushed right down the toilet. You can bet your sweet bippy that it’d be a long, long while before this Barbee cunt-fart tried cutting up rough on the subway again if they had.

That which doesn’t kill me

Makes me stronger.

I ate like Trump for a week. I don’t understand how the man is still alive
It was a picture that revealed more than just Donald Trump’s inner circle. Following the jubilation of the US election, the grinning president-elect was pictured on board Trump Force One tucking into a McDonald’s with Elon Musk and Robert F Kennedy Jr. Donald Trump Jr, seated to his right, would later joke that Mr Kennedy Jr’s mission to “make America healthy again” would have to wait until “tomorrow”. Mr Trump’s penchant for fast food was once again in the spotlight. But what does his diet consist of?

Breakfast – nothing. Lunch – nothing. Dinner – a McDonald’s, KFC, pizza or a well-done steak. Twelve Diet Cokes a day, and snacking on Doritos. The man appointed to become his own health secretary, RFK Jr, described what Trump eats as “poison”.

“His diet is exceptionally poor,” agrees Telegraph nutritionist Sam Rice. “It’s unbalanced, with far too many ultra-processed foods, too much saturated fat from red and processed meat, simple carbohydrates that can cause sugar spikes and lead to insulin resistance. It’s also low in fibre and gut-friendly plant foods. The copious amount of Diet Coke he drinks, which contains the artificial sweetener aspartame – identified as a possible carcinogen by the World Health Organisation – makes his diet a nutritional nightmare.”

The sissy-mary went on the Trump diet for a week, and says it damned near kilt him. Me, I’m with Al Bundy.

It’s always made me tired, how so many Righty bloggers want to whimper and whine about how godawful McDonalds is, as if the mere thought of eating a Big Mac suddenly transmogrifies them into the Leftards their bitching makes them sound so much like. Is McDonalds the best burger ever? Of course not. But will a Quarter Pounder or McDouble do when you’re in a rush, are hungry, and there just happens to be a Mickey Ds drive-thru on your way to wherever you have to be shortly? Of course it will.

Leave the sniffy, über-sanctimonious disdain for the corporate grab ’n’ grub fare to the shitlibs, sayeth I; they’ll always be better at it anyway, having had so much more practice. You can definitely be sure that finding common ground with you over the appalling toxicity of junk food isn’t going to make them hate you any less.

Okay, THIS is weird as all hell…

SO: in the course of going through my contacts for numbers to send to an old friend whose phone got busted up and thereby he lost all his contacts, his photos, music, downloaded files—basically, everydamned thing—I ran across a number for one Matt Walsh who, yes, appears to be THAT Matt Walsh. No idea when, how, or even WHY I got Matt’s digits in the first place, it just shocked the ever-loving shit outta me. So naturally I called him up and explained who I was and what the call was all about, whereupon he said he was in the middle of something just then and would call me back as quick as he possibly could.

Now, I used to know Ben Shapiro fairly well, corresponded with him on the regular before he became Ben Fucking Shapiro, even helped him get his first blog up and running back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. There are quite a few other OG warbloggers I used to count as good friends, some of whom I’ve actually met and hung out with IRL. But for the life of me I don’t remember Walsh being among ‘em, I solemnly swear I don’t.

Ah well, just thought it was a pretty cool story to share with y’all. Hopefully this Mystery Dood will get back to me soon, and if it really is THE Matt Walsh he can set me straight on all this craziness.

Update! Yep, it’s the real Matt Walsh alright. What a crazy world, huh?

Updated update! No wait, I don’t think it is the same one after all.

In the midst of fascist darkness, the lamp of liberty remains lit

An enheartening FauxVid reminiscence.

In the summer of 2020, when the entire nation seemed to have gone mad with fear of the COVID virus, some Long Island retailers gave only lip service to the draconian lockdowns, masking dictates, and “social distancing” requirements. They published the “rules,” but put little or no effort into imposing them on their customers. Those were the ones I patronized. Yet it was all too obvious that most Long Islanders had been cowed by the bellowings from Fauci and the politicians who saw in his pronouncements an opportunity to increase their power over us.

Masking was ubiquitous. People avoided coming close to one another. The floors of supermarkets were festooned with markings about social distancing. Some put up signs making the aisles into “one-way streets.” It was beyond depressing.

But I do remember one bright spot. It occurred in a Walgreen’s pharmacy / general store. I was there to collect a prescription: blood pressure medications. On my way to the pharmacist’s counter I spied a young woman accompanied by three small children. The young woman was shopping as casually as anyone I’d ever seen. Her kids followed her quietly, exhibiting perfect public behavior rarely seen in toddlers today. And none of the four were masked.

The young woman smiled when she noticed me looking at her and her children, for I was unmasked as well. We greeted one another and exchanged some small talk as the children clustered around us. Her English was excellent. It developed that she was a widow, a recent immigrant from Eastern Europe who’d just been granted resident alien status.

Of course the conversation eventually came to the pandemic and the lockdowns. I complimented her on not giving in to the fear campaign. It made her eyes brighten. She smiled and nodded.

“They did this sort of thing to us in my native country,” she said. “Arbitrary rules, pulled out of the air. There wasn’t even an excuse for it, much of the time.”

“It gladdened me to see another person who won’t bend to the madness,” I said.

Her smile acquired a tinge of pride. “I didn’t come here to put up with more of that nonsense,” she said. “I came here to be an American.”

It kept a smile on my face the whole day.

As well it should’ve, Francis. These days people like her are much more truly American than all too many who were born and raised here, alas.

Here legally too, no less—a rarity indeed. Refreshing all the way around, I’d say.

Seagoing disgrace

Thank God we still have the most powerful, STRAC, well-equipped and -trained, effectively invulnerable military in the world. Right?

RIIIIIGHT?!?

Ummm…yeah, about all that.

Prayers up

And best wishes for a speedy recovery for our dear friend Gretchen, cherished spouse of our brother-from-another-mother Big Country, which good woman is currently languishing in hospital durance vile for a mysterious, sudden-onset affliction of unknown provenance. If you’re the praying type, please do send one up for Gretch yourself. What the hey, it don’t cost anything and can’t hurt, right?

Star Trek: 765874 – Unification

If you’re any kind of Star Trek fan at all, you’re gonna find this one…AWESOME.

A bit under eight minutes of unalloyed beauty, wonder, and joy, that’s what. Involving as it does the Genesis planet of fame and legend, I have to wonder what this might set the stage for, Trek-wise.

(Via Ed Driscoll)

Rolling abortion

The late, unlamented Supervee.

The little engine that couldn’t: A short saga of the Super Vee
When it comes to motorcycles, I like the odd ducks.

I prefer ducks that are actually capable of moving under their own power, but maybe that’s just me.

I’m no match, though, for Paul and Joel at American Cycle Fabrication. You might remember Paul as the man who had those $35 Harleys we wrote about. Recently, I meandered by to see what the boys were up to and what curiosities I could turn up. I walked in the door, and sitting on a bench was the mother lode: a Super Vee.

Nothing gets me going like an abstruse piece of motorcycle equipment, so when I saw this engine parked there, I started pushing people and parts out of my way so I could snap a few photos. You see, I’ve heard of Super Vees, but I’d never actually seen one live and in color. The particular one I saw was a third-generation, the final design ever offered for sale — and the rarest. Approximately 45 were ever sold.

Now as a rowdy, uncut stripling, I read all the biker rags religiously: Iron Horse, my all-time fave under David Snow (CAUTION: Fakeberg link) and my dear departed friend Chris Pfouts; Outlaw Biker, for whom I would later toil thanklessly; American Iron, for whom my tight Pittsburgh brother Mike Seate ditto; Easyriders, the granpappy of ‘em all, and entirely righteous back before it began to suck dead donkey dicks (in its glory days, ER once ran a pic of the illustrious Traci Lords [link is related, just scroll down] on the cover, under the preposterous nom de slut “Suzy Softail,” IIRC); Biker Lifestyle, an also-ran publication about which there really ain’t a whole lot to say other than they always seemed to run more titty-pics than any of the aforementioned rags; last and probably least, Steve Iorio’s Supercycle, which eventually became little more than a vehicle for pimping Iorio’s useless PoS Supervee doorstops.

A pic of the monstrosity in its natural habitat: to wit, propped up on a workbench surrounded by the tools with which the poor schlub who got suckered into buying it would attempt to ascertain why the &^%@#%)*!!! it wouldn’t run.

The rest of the sordid story.

So what is a Super Vee?
In 1983, Harley was not selling whole engines to custom bike builders. Steve Iorio, who owned an outfit called Nostalgia Cycle, wasn’t really digging that situation, so the Super Vee concept was born. The idea was to create an engine using cheap, easily available small-block Chevy parts, that could power a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. By 1985, the engines were released for sale. Iorio was so bold as to suggest that he was going to unseat Harley and put them out of business. He felt Harley was putting the screws to the workin’ joe, and the Super Vee was the common man’s way to fight back: Engine parts could be had reliably and very affordably from any GM dealership or aftermarket auto parts house.

Articles published in Supercycle Magazine as early as 1983 helped get the project off the ground. The engine, though primitive, got rave reviews. Nostalgia Cycle even had a phone number customers could call and hear a Super Vee running! Heady stuff for the 1980s. Nostalgia put together a video (which is pretty funny) extolling the virtues of the new mill. Take a peek. (Bonus points for the first reader to count how many times the narrator says “American.”)

Everything seemed hunky dory, but there were a few problems. First, did you notice in that video that you never hear the engine settle into an idle? That seems a bit strange, right? Secondly, Supercycle was published by the same guy who owned Nostalgia Cycle, Steve Iorio. Steve had dabbled quite a bit in the motorcycle industry. Those initials may be familiar to some — he used to produce springers under the company name SIE, and hung out with Dick Allen, a motorcycle legend in his own right.

Ol’ Steve also went by a few aliases, including “Steve Nelson.” In fact, you can read a lovely article the Los Angeles Times wrote about him — using his fake name! The biggest, most glaring problem with Iorio was his character. The biggest, most glaring problem about the Super Vee was its near-universal reputation of being a complete piece of shit.

For those of you who have never purchased a crate engine, let me fill you in on how the process works. You buy the engine, and sometimes you have to install an ignition and a carb. That’s about it. Install it, and hit the starter button.

The Super Vee was different. It did not run well, if at all. Mating Harley-esque cases to a General Motors rotating assembly presented problems. Critical engine parts didn’t always receive enough oil, yet most Super Vees puked plenty outside the engine. In many cases, engines required some disassembly and some additional machining. Many of the engines required an overhaul simply because of awful quality control during manufacture.

The gruesome saga of Iorio’s exorbitantly overpriced bastard-baby carries on from there; it’s a truly gripping read for any dyed in the wool gearhead-type weirdo, past or present. Won’t do much to bolster one’s naive, childlike faith in the fundamental decency of humanity, I’m afraid. But hey, dem’s da breaks, laddie-buck.

Update! Another aspect of the Iorio melodrama I thought might be worth a mention: I also spent a fair few simoleons on Nostalgia Cycle parts for my trusty old Shovelhead FLH over the decade or so I owned and rode her, mostly at swap meets and such-like dens of iniquity.

I quickly learned that those Nostalgia Cycle (universally reviled amongst my fellow CLT-area scooter trash as “Nostalgia Psycho”) geegaws and gimcracks were without exception El Cheapo crap: flimsy, soft-rubber handlebar bushings; bolt-ons which couldn’t be bolted on thanks to mis-aligned mounting holes; “stainless steel” engine hardware dress-up kits that were neither stainless nor steel; points that didn’t fire, plugs that didn’t spark, filters that didn’t filter, external oil hard-lines without any holes drilled in ‘em; “high flow” oil pumps with no pump gear, etc. etc.

The chrome on all those fancy-shmancy covers—battery, nose cone, breather, primary, drive chain, coil, &c—would begin to blister, flake, and/or peel within no more than two (2) days of the first time it got wet. I was never much of a chrome-cover guy myself—I was more inclined to remove all that shit, box it up, and store it in the remotest corner of the garage. I vastly preferred the lean, mean, bare-knuckle brawler look, as exemplified by my stripped-nekkid, hellaciously fast, screamin’ demon 06 Sporty:

Custom Hot Rod Flatz paint in Desert Sand (hand-sprayed at the shop by Goose, hand-striped and -lettered by the legendary Eddie Brown, Fender motor-mount bottle opener by yrs truly); wrapped header-pipes; no front or rear belt cover; not a single extraneous piece of chrome anywhere that wasn’t factory-installed—what can I say? Except that I surely do miss that sweet, nasty little bitch.

Anyways. Every last bit of Nostalgia Psycho’s teetotal junk, mind, was made from pure Chineseum© in an era when such foreign-parts profanations were strictly verboten—taboo to any self-respecting Milwaukee Iron aficionado, for which unthinking sacrilege the Harley Gods would surely smite down the blasphemer with a quickness. Suffice it to say, after getting bitten like that a cpl-three times, my days of throwing money down the Nostalgia sewer drain were O-V-E-R over.

Updated update! Awright, awright, awright, quitcher crying, ya sissy-Marys; more righteous photos of my beautiful, decidedly non-shiny Sporty below the fold. Although I’ve described her verbally/textually here before, I don’t believe I ever did post any pics, for whatever bizarre reason.

Continue reading “Rolling abortion”

Bitch slap!

I’m nothing like as avid a fan of the Sweet Science as my brother Jeff is, and never claimed to be. Even so, I’ve been watching boxing since way back when Muhammed Ali was still Cassius Clay. So gimme a break here, I’m not a total dilettante. Be all that as it may, I found this story amusing as hell.

Mike Tyson slapped Jake Paul for stepping on his foot as their pre-fight weigh-in boiled over. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Tyson smacked Paul in the face at the Las Colinas, Texas, event ahead of their Friday boxing match at AT&T Stadium.

Paul responded, “He hits like a bitch … He must die.”

Tyson claims to have not even heard him.

The smack was Tyson’s reaction to upstart Paul stepping on his toe, which he thinks may have been on purpose.

“I was in my socks and he had on shoes,” Tyson told The Post moments after the weigh-in. “He stepped on my toe because he is a f–king a–hole. I wanted to think it happened by accident. But now I think it may have happened on purpose.

On purpose? You bet your sweet bippy it was—seems like before most any heavyweight bout, there’s usually some hyped-up half-a-fracas or other along these lines at the weigh-in. Still: amusing. Video at the link, for those of you who are into this sort of thing.

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