Tal Bachman suggests something I’ve been wondering a lot about myself in recent years: so exactly where the hell is the God of the Old Testament, He of the smiting and the scourging and the Great Floods, anyway? What, is He asleep or something?

Dear Old Testament God, Maybe It’s Time For A Comeback Tour

Maybe it’s age, but I’m starting to warm up to the God of the Old Testament big-time.

That’s the one you’re not supposed to like. The one you’re supposed to feel embarrassed by. Even outraged. To hear religion-hater Richard Dawkins (and his tedious hordes of mini-mes) tell it, the Old Testament God is the personification of all cosmic vice. In Dawkins’ words, he is “arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction”.

Let’s see what the Bible says.

God’s first genocide was his biggest and most spectacular: the flood. He created mankind, and—well, it just didn’t work out. “Every intent of the thoughts of (man’s) heart was only evil continually”, Genesis reports. But it was the ensuing evil human action which really sealed the deal for God. In a nutshell, “the earth was filled with violence”. That means, I assume, colossal rates of murder, beating, rape, child molesting, brutal slavery, and more. Human beings had taken an Edenic paradise and turned it into hell on earth. God wanted a do-over. A hard reset.

So, yeah, God killed everyone, minus Noah and his family. Wouldn’t you, if things were that bad? After all, you’d be delivering justice to the wicked, and maybe even mercy to their long-suffering victims. Just thinking out loud here.

As it happens, God covenanted after the flood to “never again destroy every living thing, as I have done”. But—thankfully—his covenant didn’t rule out more selective massacres.

Sodom and Gomorrah, for example, were cesspools of horror. The town fathers had institutionalized the gang rape of male city visitors, normalized rank sexual depravity in general (which I assume included sexual abuse of children), and topped it all off with pride, gluttony, and abominable selfishness. Even surrounding towns began crying out to God to do something. I feel sick just thinking about it.

And obviously, God did too, because he killed the entire populations of both gang-raping, probably child-molesting cities with the Bronze Age equivalent of Fat Man (fire and brimstone raining down from heaven). Why would I feel bad about that?

The common thread in all these stories is that the people God kills are incorrigibly evil. They’re a scourge to humanity. They commit murder, rape, child abuse, enslavement, cruelest tyranny, random beatings—you name the atrocity, they’re committing it. And they’re not changing their ways. They’re committed to doing the wrong thing even after multiple warnings and chances to improve. These are the reprobate types Paul refers to in Romans 1—people who know they’re doing evil, and delight in it. They hate God, they murder, they violate every innocence and trust. And for God, when things get bad enough, there’s just nothing else to do with them but say goodbye.

Follows, Bachman’s appeal to God His Own Self for a return to the old-fashioned, tried and true ways of dealing with such things. To wit:

Hello, God.

I’m just going to come right out and say it: How about a comeback tour?

You fried the sickos in Sodom and Gomorrah. You drowned all those Egyptian slavers. You even wiped out the entire population of the earth, minus Noah and his family. So how about you help us out right now with a special new demographic reset?

I use the word “reset” on purpose. You see, I want to propose you begin your comeback tour by focusing on all the control freak politicians and bureaucrats who exploited a global panic (which they themselves had cynically manufactured) in order to effect a “Great Reset”. These people make Max Robespierre look like Russell Kirk in a coma. They are—even as I type this—still busying themselves trying to destroy every single salutary aspect of human life and community. And while they’ve done all their damage in the name of public health, they’re actually doing it all in service to themselves. For in their false, pagan morality—the kind you always used to say you hated —they are the gods. Not you. They are the ones who will improve us, heal us, bless us, save us. Not you. They are the ones who will rule heaven and earth. Not you. And their moral code, such as it is, is a putrescent stew of all the most noxious, even demonic, ideas imaginable. I can send you a detailed list in a follow-up note, if you’d like.

In any case, the price these control freaks are now extracting for the patronizing, self-serving, technocratic megalomaniac globalist totalitarian “beneficence” we never asked them for, and don’t want, and which they’re imposing on us against our will, is our sovereignty, our most basic freedoms, our humanity, our families, our traditions, our beliefs, our obligations, our identities, our nations, our allegiance, our worship. In short, these people are your enemies. And ours. We’re in this together, God. We’re on the same team.

I could list many more of the most tyrannical, unconscionable impositions. But I’m going to pause here, and just say, once again, that now would be a great time for you to do a comeback tour. Boy, would it ever. These people wanted a Great Reset. How about you “great reset” them all into, shall we say, “outer darkness”? I don’t really care what you do with them (if you catch my drift) as long as we never have to see them, hear them, or be tyrannized by them ever again.

A most hearty amen to all that.

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