Fear not, America: with “Gunner” Joe Bribem on the job, we’re in the best possible hands. If his steady, sure-handed “leadership” can’t see us all safely through this wartime crisis, then no one can.
The conflict between the U.S. and Russia has just gone kinetic. At least, that is what the first reports are saying out of the U.S. government. But the response is emblematic of how woke the U.S. military has gotten.
Initial reports said that the Russians had “intercepted” a U.S. Reaper drone over the Black Sea. Now, the latest report has it that Russia “collided” with a Reaper drone over the Black Sea. Expect that story to change, as first reports are always wrong.
Here’s what we are being told at this moment, however. CBS News was first out of the gate with news that, indeed, the drone — which can be armed to the hilt — had suffered a “collision” with the Russian military jet.
A Russian Su-27 fighter jet collided with an American MQ-9 Reaper drone over the Black Sea on Tuesday, the U.S. military’s European Command said. U.S. forces brought down the drone in international waters, European Command said, and the White House called the Russian plane’s intercept of the unmanned aircraft “reckless.”
“Our MQ-9 aircraft was conducting routine operations in international airspace when it was intercepted and hit by a Russian aircraft, resulting in a crash and complete loss of the MQ-9,” U.S. Air Force General James Hecker, commander of U.S. Air Forces Europe and Air Forces Africa, said in a statement.
The response from the Pentagon’s Hecker went thusly: “This unsafe and unprofessional act by the Russians nearly caused both aircraft to crash.” But wait, it got worse.
Global News reported on the Pentagon’s press release about the incident.
In a press release, the U.S. Air Force said that at 2 a.m. Eastern (7 a.m. local time) a Russian Su-27 aircraft struck the propeller of the U.S.’s MQ-9 aircraft, which conducts intelligence, surveillance and reconnaissance. It was accompanied by a second Su-27 that wasn’t involved in the collision but that U.S. officials said was also involved in “unsafe” conduct.
“Several times before the collision, the Su-27s dumped fuel on and flew in front of the MQ-9 in a reckless, environmentally unsound and unprofessional manner,” the U.S. release said (emphasis added).
If, in fact, things are getting directly kinetic between the U.S. and Russia over the heightened tensions over the Ukraine war, environmental degradation, though important, is the least of our problems.
Gee, I certainly do hope the madman Putin won’t decide to lob a small-to-medium yield nuke right dead-center onto Mordor On The Potomac, atomizing every last sewer-crawling bureaucrat, government “expert,” cretinous career politican, predatory melanin-enhanced gangbanger, and meddlesome FederalGovCo oxygen-thief therein. Why, that would be just awful. Whatever would we do without all those fine, underpaid, hard-working public servants to watch over and protect us?
Please, Mr Putin, sir, don’t throw us into dat br’ar patch, sir. PLEASE don’t.
As I said, though, not to worry; “Gunner” Joe has the situation well in hand, even if it should come to nooklear com-bat toe to toe with the Russkies. He settled their hash but good once, he can do it again.