The continued existence of this site depends entirely on contributions from its readers. If you're able to, please consider donating or subscribing to CF. Thanks!



If I were King

So today I tried to earn a few extra shekels to add to my meager pile by working lunch, and got a pickup at a local KFC. When I got there, exited the car, and tugged on the front door expecting the dining room to be open, imagine my disgust to find the joint locked up tighter’n Dick’s hatband instead. Naturally, the drive-thru line I would now have to endure sitting in my beloved Yaller Streak under a blazing sun, awaiting my turn at the window, snaked completely around the building and out into the street.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, the Yellow Peril Focus is without A/C at the moment. I glommed a replacement compressor out of a junkyard already, but am still trying to accumulate the scratch to cover labor. Hence, y’know, that whole working-lunch thing, something I hardly ever bother with since you make hardly anything, there’s only available work for an hour and a half, two at the outside. Plus it’s getting uncomfortably warm out there. Working nights is a whole lot better all the way around.

Anyhoo, having already accepted the KFC run—which paid beans, by the way, just to rub salt in the wound—there was no way out of it but through it, since they penalize you for failure to complete a run kinda harshly, as well as declining one. Your driver status drops, which in turn affects how many runs you’re offered. Having only recently clawed my way back up to Top Dawg level after falling a notch due to a bonehead error on my own part and seeing how that impacted my income, I have no intention whatsoever of letting that happen again if I have any say in the matter. Which I do. Which meant I was definitely stuck, but good.

As I sat sweating and gasping in the excruciatingly slow line, I got to thinking (frightening, I know) and it hit me how ridiculous it was for the KFC dining room to still be under lockdown, even after the edict commanding it had been so graciously rescinded by Komrade Kooper weeks ago. Then I thought about all the quaking nitwits out there who are still masking up all over the place despite the planet-killer virus having failed, in spectacular fashion, to live up to its planet-killer billing.

This all gave me what I consider to be a pretty good idea. To wit: Any restaurant, bar, or fast-food franchise whose dining room is still closed at this point will be legally required to keep it that way, forever. If you can sustain your business via drive-thru sales alone, fine and well. Do so, and be damned to you. If you can’t, well, tough noogies.

The only allowed exemption is for those establishments struggling with staffing problems, which many are and the aforementioned KFC may well have been. They get a bye, along with my sympathy and best wishes. Everybody else? BE SAAAAAFE!™

Likewise: All craven Branch Covidians still wearing a mask in Wal Mart, the grocery store, just wandering around out-of-doors, and especially—MOST especially—those drooling neurotics who wear one while driving in their car alone, are now legally required to be masked at all times. All day, every day, from now until the Sun goes supernova. Yes, in your home. Yes, whilst lying in bed trying to sleep. Yes, in the shower, pool, or hot tub.

Moreover: any Karen or Ken who has ever given a sane person so much as a dirty look over walking around barefaced without an Obedience Rag on must double-mask, as urged by the heroic Herr Doktor Fauci. Forever. NO exceptions, NO exemptions.

AT. ALL. TIMES. Hey, seems fair enough to me.

11 thoughts on “If I were King

  1. Hi. I have had that same opinion. But, in the smaller town I live in, several restaurants are open limited hours due to the fact they simply can’t find employees.So, maybe be lesh harsh passing judgement.

    Our local favorite pizza joint is staffed by the age 60’s owner and some of her age 60’s friends,, working for free to help her out. We patronize her often to throw business her way, (also as her pizza is divine as well as her calzones). She ultimately does not know what she will do. She can only be open 4 days a week and still has to pay rent on 7 days a week.

    And this is the country that tooled up to win a world war in a matter of a few years. What sacrifice by my ancestors, wasted for greed and power.

    In the words of Theoden, How did we get to this place”?

    1. Everywhere I go, I see Help Wanted signs — restaurants, landscapers, delivery services. If the “pandemic” unemployment benefits were to be cut off tomorrow, the economy would be in recovery by the end of next week.

      (Executing every politician and bureaucrat who was responsible for the shutdowns and lockins would help more, but that’s another topic.)

      1. It’s the same here. And on the coast where summer jobs were long ago taken by young foreign summer workers, the problem is acute. The cleaning of houses on the two turnover days, Sat & Sun, is a real issue. The work force that was living there for the summer work left, have yet to return. Restaurants are working with short staff. My favorite seafood restaurant had to curtail takeout as they just couldn’t do that and manage the tables inside and out. Need a contractor for remodeling or repair? Forget it.

        I can tell the number of new grocery store workers at checkout, because they are in the learning mode.

  2. I think I mentioned that Chick-Fil-A in Sherman/Denison still has their dining room closed to diners even after Abbott lifted the mask mandate and all restrictions.

    1. I remember you told me that. Since then I’ve discovered a couple here that have closed dining and it’s because they can’t get enough workers. One is the closest chick fil a to me. I asked and they actually told me they didn’t have the staff to reopen the dining room. I had assumed it was just because virus.

    2. Lake Texoma area! I love that place. Spent a bit of time there once when I was living in Fort Worth. Beautiful!

      I got the impression the town had a pretty big resort-supported economy. How did/has the area handled this whole clown-induced coof debacle?  

      1. Long story short: On our side of the Red River, we closed down for nominally April of 2020 and opened on May 1 – actually, everyone except the big corporate outfits like WalMart said “Fuck this” and started opening up and dropping mask requirements around the last week in April.

        Medical like Alliance Health and clinics required masks up until recently, and vets offices. Durant Animal Hospital started a policy of having you sign in and wait in the parking lot until called, and then taking the pets in for exam/shots etc without the owner. They backed off on that when I stated flatly that nobody is taking my service dog anywhere without me being attached to the leash.

        Bryan County Animal Hospital was a lot more reasonable on that, but they still had a sign in and wait outside until called policy.

        Dining rooms have been open since May of last year, some with servers masked, some without. Local grocery stores, Lowe’s, Tractor Supply, and Orschelin never required masks and never shut down.

        We lost one (1) restaurant and a couple of small businesses in Durant, and I think a couple in Tishomingo due to the shut downs and other BS.

        Schools and SEOSU have been open to on campus classes since fall of last year, despite criticisms from MSN et al (OMG! They’re gonna die!).

        Durant’s Mayor and City Manager declared a COVID State of Emergency back in April 2020, but they were pretty up front that they were doing so solely so that they could qualify for Federal emergency funds if they became available. Kinda refreshingly honestly greedy if you ask me.

        All in all, life went back to normal here as soon as humanly possible.

        South of the River, Texas had a state mask mandate from April of last year, lots of their restaurants were drive in/takeout only, and Sam’s club had an “everyone mask” policy. I wore my Plague Doctor mask through the door, boggling the door guards, and took it off inside and no one said shit.

        Churches in Texas either closed or went mask Nazi, at which point I quit paying attention to them.

        Otherwise, Fossil Creek liquor and most other stores in the Texas side of Texoma went back as much as possible to normal early this year. Texas finally dropped its mask mandates a couple of months ago.

        All in all, I was real happy we moved to Oklahoma in 2013 well before all this shit hit. 🙂

        It’s been kinda nice actually living in America through this, Mr. Head.

        1. Glad to see at last one part of the country handled this whole ridiculous ordeal with some practicality & common sense!

          I wore my Plague Doctor mask through the door, boggling the door guards, and took it off inside and no one said shit.

          You are my new favorite person! That is seven kinds of awesome right there. 🙂

          Time for Mr. Fury to hand over the crown. There’s a new King on the thrown!

          Churches in Texas either closed or went mask Nazi, at which point I quit paying attention to them.

          I don’t even know where to start with this… there appears to be a crisis going on that I won’t even pretend to understand.           

          It’s been kinda nice actually living in America through this, Mr. Head.

          No need for formalities, you can just call me Dick. 

          [I’ve just been waitinfor someone to set me up with that! 🙂 ]

  3. Oh, sweetie, I would just LOVE that punishment-that-fits-the-crime to be imposed.
    But, come on!
    Won’t happen. Every culprit – EVERY one – will get back to normal, or as normal as any of them ever get, and develop amnesia about the entire year of events.
    The only thing they will ‘remember’ is that:
    Orange Man STILL Bad
    The 1/6 Insurrection was a Bloody Reign of Terror by Nazis
    and, they ONLY had our own good in any of their nasty little edicts. Which, if we weren’t such disgusting Fascists, we would understand.



    “Yes, whilst lying in bed trying to sleep. Yes, in the shower, pool, or hot tub.”

    Heheh… that one got me.

Comments are closed.

CF Archives


Comments policy

NOTE: In order to comment, you must be registered and approved as a CF user. Since so many user-registrations are attempted by spam-bots for their own nefarious purposes, YOUR REGISTRATION MAY BE ERRONEOUSLY DENIED.

If you are in fact a legit hooman bean desirous of registering yourself a CF user name so as to be able to comment only to find yourself caught up as collateral damage in one of my irregularly (un)scheduled sweeps for hinky registration attempts, please shoot me a kite at the email addy over in the right sidebar and let me know so’s I can get ya fixed up manually.

ALSO NOTE: You MUST use a valid, legit email address in order to successfully register, the new anti-spam software I installed last night requires it. My thanks to Barry for all his help sorting this mess out last night.

Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit.

Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) won't.

Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar.

Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

Subscribe to CF!

Support options

Shameless begging

If you enjoy the site, please consider donating:

Become a CF member!


Email addy: mike-at-this-url dot etc
All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless specified as private by the sender

Allied territory

Alternatives to shitlib social media: A few people worth following on Gab:

Fuck you

Kill one for mommy today! Click to embiggen

Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Claire's Cabal—The Freedom Forums


"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
Daniel Webster

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill.”
Charles Bukowski

“A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
Ezra Pound

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.”
John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves."
Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged."
GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free."
Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
Bill Whittle

Best of the best

Finest hosting service

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

RSS feed

RSS - entries - Entries
RSS - entries - Comments

Boycott the New York Times -- Read the Real News at Larwyn's Linx

Copyright © 2024