Category: Damn that’s funny!

Lowlife is as lowlife does

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Trump, as per usual, calls ‘em like he sees ‘em.

Trump Calls Jasmine Crockett a ‘Lowlife,’ but That’s Not the Best Part

And the fun aspect is, it isn’t. It really, truly isn’t.

Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Victimhood) recently called Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, who is wheelchair-bound, “Governor Hot Wheels.” Called out on this, Crockett issued a typical leftist non-apology, changing the subject and shifting the blame to Orange Man Bad and his efforts to save America from criminal migrant gangs. Now, however, Trump has responded, calling her a “lowlife,” which is obvious, and casting doubt on her chances to become the Democrats’ presidential candidate in 2028. Yes, there are some people who actually think a Crockett candidacy would be a good idea.

Okay, wait a minute. She is angry at Abbott for supposedly sending “migrants to communities run by black mayors and stoke tensions and fear among the most vulnerable.” So she must support Trump’s efforts to get criminal migrants out of the country, right? Wrong. After all, she is a Democrat and he is Trump, so she has no more problem with inconsistency than any of her far-left colleagues.

And so when told about her claim that she was only objecting to Abbott sending illegal migrants to deep-blue “sanctuary cities,” Trump responded: “Well, it’s a lie. And she lies.” The president added: “But she’s a lowlife, and she’s a very low-IQ person… At first, I thought she was a comedian. I couldn’t believe she was a congressman or whatever she is.” He said she was “a little bit funny, but crude, and now I found out she’s actually a politician.”

Whether she knows it or not (PRO TIP: she doesn’t), the low-IQ lowlife makes a far better comedian than she ever will a statesman. Hell, she ain’t even much of a Congresscritter, which is about as low a bar to clear as they come.

Update! Mo’ bettah, same article.

These people (and there were many more of them in the thread) might be just a few nuts, but over at The Hill, former Reagan speechwriter Douglas MacKinnon said that “Crockett and Ocasio-Cortez are trying to fill the vacuum created by Harris’s loss, the absence of a clear 2028 frontrunner and a coherent agenda. With chaos comes opportunity — opportunity, perhaps, for them.”

Trump, however, was dismissive of this “opportunity,” saying: “The Democrats are going to suffer with this one… I don’t imagine the Democrats are going to have a person like that running their party.” He added that if Crockett ever becomes a leader of the Democrats, “they’ll never win an election again. It would be very hard.”

T’is a consummation devoutly to be wished, certainly. But for my money, just outright banning the D卐M☭CRAT criminal organization masquerading as a political party would suit just as nicely, perhaps even better in the long run. When it comes to forever ridding ourselves of pestiferous excrescences like Crockett and ilk, Real Americans need to be thinking proactively, not reactively.

Updated update! Via Sarah Hoyt, Tom Knighton piles on, and it’s a laff riot.

See, what we need to understand about Crockett and many of her fellow leftists is that, quite simply, they can do whatever they want to anyone on the right.

One would be tempted to call it a double standard–and cue the “If not for double standards, leftists would have no standards at all” line–but that’s not accurate, either.

They have very clear standards on how people should be treated.

They just don’t think anyone on the right counts as people.

She could make light of Abbott being in a wheelchair, not because disabled people are worthy of being disrespected in her mind, but because Abbott is a Republican and therefore doesn’t count as a human.

Remember eight years ago when everyone on the left was talking about “punching Nazis” while also claiming everyone they disliked was a Nazi? That was just a way to justify the assaults they wanted to carry out, all while pretending words they don’t like are violence. They’re people and we’re not.

High time we started treating them in kind, then—fully, forcefully, measure for measure—without surcease, restraint, or the slightest hint of mercy. Nice thing is, we’ll be right about them; by their words and actions both, shitlibs prove themselves to be at best quasi-human multiple times a day, each and every day.

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UNEXPECTED! ™

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Gee, what a shocker: Professional shitlib “male feminist” turns out to to be sicko stalker.

So Another Male Feminist Turns Out to Be a Social Media Perv
Give some credit to young Democrat hustle(r) Harry Sisson, reluctant as you may be, for turning some small amount of social media savvy into a lucrative career as a progressive influencer — not to mention all those sweet young ladies that the 23-year-old professional Democrat has reportedly tried to con into sending him their most intimate photos of themselves.

Sisson likes to play a male feminist on social media, you’ll be shocked to learn.

“America failed women tonight,” Sisson posted to X after Donald Trump won reelection last November. “Trump bullied, assaulted, and stripped reproductive rights away from women all across the country, and instead of standing up, we let it happen.”

That’s the kind of “insight” Sisson regularly posts that has somehow amassed him 1.7 million TikTok followers and nearly 300,000 on X.

Sisson seems to have enjoyed a childhood of privilege — he spent parts of his early life in Dubai and Dublin before settling down in the U.S. at 17 — but the identity and occupation of his parents seem to be unavailable. Nevertheless, his net worth is estimated at anywhere from $800,000 to $8.5 million. Even the low end would be impressive for someone who has yet to hit the quarter-century mark and who doesn’t seem to have ever produced a good or service in the private sector.

Exactly what he does aside from attending New York University and posting on social media I can’t tell.

Oh, yeah — he also creeps on women while playing the male feminist.

There’s nothing new about young men of means trying to bed various women, and there has never been a lack of women willing to bed young men of means. Human nature is what it is. But doing so while posing as a noble defender of women’s rights is too hypocritical to let pass.

A few important things for these women to remember here: 1) at some point, those photos are going to end up splashed all across the am-pr0n Intarwebs, a near-inevitability that even Sisson himself will be powerless to prevent; and 2) as all the cool kids say, Teh Intarwebs is forever—which means your XXX twat-shots (“private”? It is to laugh) on PornHub and such-like sites ain’t ever going away. Which in turn means that yes, your kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, if any, will be just one (1) easy-peasy Google, Duck Duck Go, or Luxxle search away from running across them some fine day.

Sorry, ladies, but no amount of weeping, wailing, and/or gnashing of teeth is going to change any of the above. Have a nice day.

(Via Steve Green)

Update! Ace notes an amusing aspect:

The surprising thing isn’t that a male liberal influencer is a pervert and user.

What’s shocking here is that Harry (S)isson is… straight? Sort of?!

A real stunner of a surprise of a jaw-dropper, I agree.

Updated update! Just noticed another amusing aspect. To wit:

“America failed women tonight,” Sisson posted to X after Donald Trump won reelection last November. “Trump bullied, assaulted, and stripped reproductive rights away from women all across the country, and instead of standing up, we let it happen.”

Don’t know if you’d call the bit I boldfaced a misnomer or an oxymoron or just what, but I has questions. For one thing, slaughtering your gestating infant “women’s health care” is NOT any kind of right. For another, how can it be “reproductive” when the whole point of the exercise is to avoid reproducing? I know, I know, I need to try harder to keep up with shitlib Doublespeak, linguistic inversions, and wilfull reversal of the meanings and definitions of plain, ordinary words. But still.

GTFO awready

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Schlichter’s columns are always a lot of fun, but his latest raises the standard to a level few if anyone else can ever hope to attain.

Boot the Ungrateful Foreigners the Hell Out of America
I am loving this uproar over that communist terrorist fluffer from Columbia University, Mahmoud Khalil, who the feds detained with an eye towards booting his sorry rear out of our glorious country. First, I love how the commies are crying about it, how suddenly they care about free speech even though they carried absolutely nothing about free speech when normal patriotic Americans were being rounded up for daring to oppose abortion and bogus elections. I love how they’re calling his totally legitimate arrest a “kidnapping” when this guy’s unseemly and eager onanism over his dirtbag Palestinian buddies’ kidnapping of innocent Israelis is what got him busted in the first place. But mostly, I love this imbroglio because it shows that we Americans are not going to take any more guff from uppity foreigners.

We’re booting this tool out of our great country. It may take a bit of time to wind its way through the courts, but he’s gone. We should be booting his wife out, too, before she drops her kid – hey, a fetus leftists don’t want to kill! – and it gets American citizenship. In fact, we should boot out all these agitators and malcontents, deporting every single weirdo, loser, and mutation who hates America and thinks they have a free pass to try and gin up their Marxist revolution here on our sacred soil.

We’re done. We tried tolerance, and they attacked Jewish Americans. They would murder the rest of us too given the chance, so we’re not giving them one. Get the hell out.

And they will get the hell out. The law is very clear, and it’s very clear that this guy is going to soon be on a one-way flight to whatever geographic zit he popped out of. So will a bunch of his fellow travelers. See, we’re done with ungrateful foreigners. We’re not taking it anymore. American idiots are bad enough. We don’t need to import any more idiots. In fact, we need tariffs, idiot tariffs. And idiot reparations from the garbage countries they come from, but that’s down the road. 

For now, it’s enough to throw them on a plane and get them the hell out of here, and the Trump administration is doing just that. ICE isn’t stopping with this creep. There are plenty of other aspiring Bin Ladens on the list. Playtime is over. If you overstay your visa, get out. If you run around singing and dancing and supporting terrorists, get out. If you jaywalk, get out. No slack, zero tolerance.

Every time some loudmouth alien radical gets deported, a patriot gets his wings.

More still to come; the Europenii in particular come in for some exquisitely hilarious slaps upside the haid. Go ye and read of it, for It. Is. Good.

Sub-genius

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The dumbass is STRONG with this one.


Glenn chimes in in his own pithy, inimitable fashion:

Teslas have more cameras than a 7/11. Only a moron or a lefty would vandalize them, but I repeat myself.

That’s about the size of it, yeah.

Just trying to get ahead

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Only one real reason I’m running this story at all, and if you haven’t figured it out by the second or third paragraph…well, I just don’t really know what to tell ya about that.

Elon Musk’s ultimatum email to federal workers sets up power struggle in DC, among top Trump officials
Elon Musk is finding himself locked in a power struggle with top Trump administration officials over an out-of-the-blue email blast to federal workers Saturday demanding that they list their professional accomplishments last week — or risk being fired.

Multiple Trump-appointed agency and department heads — including the Department of Defense, State Department and FBI — have instructed their employees to ignore the email despite the billionaire’s public warning that “failure to respond” by 11:59 p.m. Monday “will be taken as a resignation.”

Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has already pushed for sweeping personnel cuts across the government, with the latest move raising concerns that the Tesla CEO intends to make more personnel decisions based on replies to the missive.

“If Elon Musk truly wants to understand what federal workers accomplished over the past week, he should get to know each department and agency, and learn about the jobs he’s trying to cut,” moderate Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) griped on X.

“Our public workforce deserves to be treated with dignity and respect for the unheralded jobs they perform. The absurd weekend email to justify their existence wasn’t it.”

Uh huh. Poor put-upon souls, with all those difficult, demanding “unheralded jobs” they for some mysterious reason don’t seem able to describe, delineate, or even speak about in any way, shape, or form. And now, the entirely obvious video embed.

Heh.

Jurassic Media “big names” taking The Walk

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This hurts me so, so much, I just…I just can’t even.

And Another One Gone: Veteran NBC News Anchor Heads for the Exit
Joyless (ok, I’ll be a good boy, her name is Joy) Reid is out at MSNBC. TrumpHating fanatic Jim Acosta was relegated to a dismal timeslot at CNN, so he took his ball and went home. He resigned and is now doing podcasts that have less production quality than “Wayne’s World.” Chris Wallace, who left Fox News for greener pastures at CNN, announced his departure from that network less than a week after Trump’s November election win. Norah O’Donnell “voluntarily” gave up the anchor chair made famous by fibbing Dan Rather, delivering her last broadcast on January 23. Former “Meet the Press” host Chuck Todd left NBC in January.

They’re dropping like flies.

And now, there’s another one gone: after ten years manning the anchor’s desk at NBC News, Lester Holt is saying goodbye.

That’s a seriously scrumptious litany of shitlib “journolismist” luminaries up there in that first ‘graph, one sure to gladden the heart of any ReichWingNaziDeathBeast OG Blogger such as li’l ol’ moi. Keep the updates coming, Bob, I beg of you. As for the execrable Lester Holt: See ya, wouldn’t wanna BE ya, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord etc etc.

Update! And while we’re on the subject, an email update from the NY Post just came over the transom with further deets on KillJoy Reid’s Long Goodbye.

Joy Reid bid farewell as MSNBC hosts compare her show’s sudden cancellation to ‘losing a limb’ during emotional segment
Ousted MSNBC host Joy Reid welcomed her fellow network stars onto her canceled show during its last minutes on Monday night to bid her a final farewell and reflect on their time together.

The network announced the sudden cancellation of “The ReidOut” on Sunday night after four and a half years on the air.

Reid used her final hour on television for the foreseeable future to remind her audience about the importance of remaining vigilant and advocating against “fascism” as she welcomed MSNBC anchors Rachel Maddow, Nicolle Wallace, and Lawrence O’Donnell to the broadcast.

The show’s axing came amid restructuring at the network following former MSNBC President Rashida Jones’ departure and Rebecca Kutler’s take over. Reid’s show was also highly controversial following her frequent criticism of white people and focus on issues like Black Lives Matter, the Israel-Palestine conflict, immigration, and other polarizing topics.

Not a single damned one of which the stupid bint knows anything whatsoever about, mind.

The liberal host has also been a frequent critic of President Donald Trump, who even celebrated her show’s cancellation and deemed her an “obnoxious racist.”

Which, of course, is perfectly true and accurate.

Reid lauded Maddow for her praise and returned her compliments by unofficially knighting her as the network’s “fearless leader.”

Wallace went a step further and even equated Reid’s departure to “losing a limb.”

“And I think that my reaction to the end of ‘The ReidOut’ and your departure is despair. And the only thing that chips away at that for me, is that despair is the autocrat’s tool. It’s their most effective weapon. It costs nothing. It’s easy to deploy, it’s contagious. And then it puts in motion all the actions they want. Hopelessness. Isolation. Exasperation. Giving up. And so the only reason I will not wallow in what I feel about you leaving is, is because I think that’s what they want,” Wallace said.

Aww, the poor widdle dear. Cwy me a river, cupcake; get it alllll out, you’ll feel a lot better. Normally, I’m not one to recommend despair to anybody as a coping mechanism, but in your case I’m willing to make an exception, just this once.

Talking sense

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JD Vance is truly a national treasure.

JD Vance to Young Men: Don’t Let Them Turn You Into ‘Androgynous Idiots’
Not too long ago, I decided to try a bold experiment. I returned to the University of Georgia to take some agriculture classes. The reason I considered it bold is that I was old enough to be many of the students’ mothers (had I been an extremely young teen mom, of course). I learned a lot of lessons about this current generation of teens and twenty-somethings and how college has changed since my first go-round two decades prior, but what really threw me was when a professor asked for my pronouns.

My class was given a virtual assignment to upload a video introduction of ourselves to a school website. “Tell us your name, your major, your hobbies and interests, and your pronouns so your classmates can gain a better understanding of who you are.” I’d never been asked to provide my pronouns in my life and had no interest in starting now. Before I uploaded my video, I watched through some of the others, shocked as these young men and women offered up their “hes” and “shes” and “theys” as if this was all perfectly normal.

But there was one guy, let’s call him Tyler, who gave us his name, his major, and his hobbies and interests, but instead of pronouns, he ended the video with “I’m a dude” and a slight eye roll, obviously mocking the pronoun situation. Let me tell you, he’s the only person from that class I even remember, much less ever gained any sort of understanding of who he was.

Well, JD Vance just gave all the other Tylers of the world permission to crawl out from under their rocks of submission and embrace their God-given masculinity.

On behalf of women — well, the ones who enjoy being women — I would like to say thank you to our vice president.

Vance spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on Monday and said a lot of great things, some of which even earned him a standing ovation. But it was his message to young people, especially young men, that really stood out.

My message to young men is don’t allow this broken culture to send you a message that you’re a bad person because you’re a man, because you like to tell a joke, because you like to have a beer with your friends, or because you’re competitive. The cultural message…wants to turn everybody, whether male or female, into androgynous idiots who think the same, talk the same, and act the same. We actually think God made male and female for a purpose, and we want you guys to thrive as young men, and as young women. And we’re going to help with our public policy to make it possible to do that.

I don’t know about you, but I could listen to that over and over again. There’s a reason why Donald Trump won 49% of the vote from young men (ages 18 to 29) in November and 54% from men overall. Vance touched on that too.

I think this is why young men in particular are so, you know, they’re so inspired by President Trump is because he doesn’t allow the media to tell him he can’t make a joke or he can’t have an original thought. President Trump just says what’s on his mind; that’s a damn good thing.

Amen to that. “We’re fighting for you,” was Vance’s overall message to young people, and it was refreshing to hear. Our country doesn’t just face international enemies — we’re under attack from enemies within who want to debase and degrade our culture.

They’re the ones who want to tell young men that they can’t be masculine and tell women they can’t be feminine. They’re the ones who demand that boys play girls’ sports, who insist that teachers force gender ideology on elementary school students, and who truly believe there are 72 genders.

Well, yeah. Nice thing is, they’re all complete and total psychopaths, so we got that going for us at least.

Pure poetry, plus…ROCKETS!

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One of Glenn’s finest, funniest posts EVAR, reproduced below in its entirety (links and all, for once):

HOW’S THAT SPACE PROGRAM COMING ALONG? NASA says ‘City killer’ asteroid now has 3.1% chance of hitting Earth.

Flashback:

O it’s Elon this, an’ Elon that, an’ “Chuck ‘im out, the cad!”;

But it’s “Elon, please, a rocket!” when the rocks are lookin’ bad.

When the rocks are lookin’ bad, my boys, the rocks are lookin’ bad,

O it’s “Save us, Mr. Elon!” when the rocks are lookin’ bad.

Heh. Indeed.

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Finger on the pulse

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Of the heartbeat of Real America.

NASCAR fans cheer as Trump arrives for Daytona 500 in Air Force One
President Donald Trump received cheers from the crowd at Daytona International Speedway as Air Force One landed at the airport ahead of his arrival for the Daytona 500 on Sunday.

The president’s plane flew over the speedway before it landed at Daytona International Airport. Cheers from the crowd were heard on the FOX broadcast as the pre-race hosts talked to Chase Elliott. NASCAR fans and drivers watched as the plane flew over the track.

Trump released a statement ahead of landing at the airport. He will be the first sitting president to attend two Daytona 500 races at Daytona International Speedway. He attended the race the first time in February 2020.

“This iconic race showcases the fastest, most fearless drivers in motorsports, who represent our Nation’s love of tradition, competition, and automotive innovation,” the statement read. “The Daytona 500 brings together people from all walks of life—from lifelong racing fans to first-time spectators—they all join in celebrating a shared passion for speed, adrenaline, and the thrill of the race. 

“From the roar of the engines on the track to the echo of ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ soaring through the stands, the Daytona 500 is a timeless tribute to the speed, strength, and unyielding spirit that make America great. That spirit is what will fuel America’s Golden Age, and if we harness it, the future is truly ours.”

Well said, Mr President, sir. Well said indeed.


Ace has another vid which might be even better than the above one.


You just know the driver and security personnel riding with OMB were absolutely laughing themselves sick, having the time of their lives on that parade lap. No word on whether Trump unassed the Beast and cracked himself an ice-cold can of PBR after the show was over, but it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to find out that he did.

Q: Do these people know ANYTHING AT ALL about history?

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Or do they prefer to just make it all up as they go along, in whatever willy-nilly fashion that suits them?

Never mind, probably best not to answer that one.

Marco Rubio Leaves CBS News’ Margaret Brennan Speechless After She Claimed Nazis ‘Weaponized’ Free Speech
CBS News anchor Margaret Brennan had nothing to say after Secretary of State Marco Rubio brutally countered her weak argument that the Nazis somehow “weaponized” free speech to conduct a genocide.

The “Face the Nation” exchange came Sunday morning during a discussion about Vice President JD Vance’s incredible speech in Munich, Germany on Friday, in which he roasted European leaders to their faces for their horrible positions on unchecked immigration and free speech.

The speech predictably drew howls of protest from Europeans who for the past four years were doubtless unused to being criticized by an American administration. German president Olaf Scholz called Vance’s words “not appropriate,” and German defense minister Boris Pistorius called them “unacceptable.”

Well, bless their hearts.

Bless their hearts, hell. Y’know, for people who in fact are themselves fascists, you’d think shitlib “journalismists” like Brennan would know one when they saw one without too much trouble. And yet.

Brennan interrupted Rubio with the claim that Vance was “standing in a country where free speech was weaponized to conduct a genocide.” She then went on to criticize the vice president for meeting with Germany’s “far right” Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) party, despite the fact that he also met with leaders of other major German political parties. There is also the fact that Europeans consider any party that doesn’t want to invite the entire world “far right.” Even more disturbing, Brennan defended the censorship by claiming it was “specifically about the right.”

Rubio not only vehemently disagreed with the CBS anchor, but countered with facts:

“I have to disagree with you,” he responded. “Free speech was not used to conduct a genocide. The genocide was conducted by an authoritarian Nazi regime that happened to also be genocidal because they hated Jews and they hated minorities … There was no free speech in Nazi Germany. There was none. There was also no opposition in Nazi Germany. They were the sole and only party that governed that country, and so that’s not an accurate reflection of history.”

Rubio defended Vance’s point about the “erosion in free speech and intolerance for opposing points of view” in Europe.

When the secretary of state was finished, Brennan had nothing to say except that they were out of time. How convenient.

Funny how it always seems to work out sooooo conveniently for these morons, innit?

Bitch slap

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Lakeside Joe asks the obvious question, then answers it himself.

Why would a TacoBell need a security guard? Oh – it’s in downtown LA. Never mind…

Even absent much if anything in the way of explanation for the guard’s dealing of some righteous Street Justice—what, Offissa Friendly didn’t have a vial of pepper spray on his belt he coulda used to git dat crazy-ass ho under control instead?—I’m gonna just go ahead and summarily pronounce this Your Feel-Good Video Of The Week.

Reminds me of a hilarious episode years and years ago—what was it, late 70s, early 80s, maybe?—when three of us were riding with our old friend Wayne in his VW Rabbit and he spotted a cpl-three young, ghetto-thug Neegrows fiddling about under the raised hood of a broken-down strugglebuggy just up ahead. Wayne quickly cranked his window down, signalling to all of us in the car with him that he meant to vocally heckle the unfortunate Cullud Yoot as he passed. Leaning his head out of the window, it was obvious that Wayne was struggling to come up with something cutting, witty, and demoralizing enough to suit his nefarious purposes.

Finally, just as we pulled alongside the smoking, steaming, beat-up old Loser Cruiser, he settled for an uncertain “It’s…WHATCHYA GET!!!” At which, the rest of us in the VeeDub nearly gave ourselves hernias, we were laughing so hard at our friend’s abject failure to deliver the last-minute goods. We teased and taunted Wayne for his lame, somewhat puzzling ad lib for many years afterwards.

It was a very different time back then; these days, a carload of skylarking white teenagers cruising around the West Side of CLT wouldn’t dream of yelling insults and/or general invective at any Pyrsynzz Of Color, lest an Ingram Mac-10 suddenly appear in every dark-complected hand and commence to spraying the offending vehicle with a rapid-fire hail of 9mm projectiles. Well, until the PoS Mac-10s jammed, at any rate. Which those useless pieces of stamped-out junk will do, especially on full auto. Ask me how I know.

MOAR fun with Big Balls

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As the CNN Libtards continue to lapse into conniption fits, Elon continues to have WAAAAYYY too much fun with this.


If nobody’s thought yet to whip up a “Big Balls signal” a la the one Gotham City uses to call for Batman and Robin, I think it’s high time somebody got cracking on it.

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BIIIIG balls

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Only a “contender,” WL? The reigning undisputed champeen, I’d say.


For his part, Musk is obviously enjoying himself.


One can easily imagine Elon flipping through this kid’s resume folder, laughing himself sick at the nickname, and hiring him immediately just because of it, in the sure and certain knowledge that all he’d have to do afterward was just sit back and wait for CNN shitlibs’ heads to start exploding. Only one proper way to close this post, I think.

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We’re back, baybeeee!

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As Stephen says: it’s official, America is great again.


The absolute best fast-food burgers in the business, Hi-C orange, plus TITTIES! I ask you, what’s not to like here?

Stupid Bowl angst

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Wait, that’s this week? I neither knew, nor gave a sugar-frosted damn.

Donald Trump is going to the Super Bowl – and ruining one of America’s best days | Opinion
Ahhh, the Super Bowl. Where families gather to watch the big game. Eat lots of food. Drink some. Party a little. Get together with friends to laugh, chill, hang out. It’s one of the few moments, the extremely few, few moments, where Americans genuinely come together.

We put aside politics.

Well, some do, I suppose. Not you though, apparently.

We put aside our differences. We take part in a great American tradition. It’s actually pretty cool. Well, it was. Because now President Donald Trump is attending the game.

In my considered opinion, you’re not whining nearly enough, little beeyotch. Please, I beg of you, do whine more. Put a little ooomph in it this time, if you don’t mind.

Trump is believed to be the first sitting president to possibly attend the Super Bowl. There’s a reason sitting presidents don’t normally go. It’s potentially a security nightmare. But also, to me, they want the game to be the center of attention, not them.

Trump wants to go to get attention but also to show dominance over a league that once rejected him. He holds grudges the way Tom Brady holds Super Bowl records.

It doesn’t matter that Trump is a huge sports fan or has attended Super Bowls before. Who cares. What matters is now. Now, Trump stands for the opposite of everything we love about the Super Bowl. Yes, the game has become corporate, but it’s retained a level of coolness in a way the league itself hasn’t.

Yeh, yeh, whatevs. If you say so, whiny bitch.

I’m someone that’s become slightly cynical about the NFL. It’s grown into a league concerned solely with making cash. And yes, the Super Bowl isn’t totally exempt from this. Of course.

Just now realizing this, are ya? You fucking idiot.

But having covered so many Super Bowls, and watched so many others from home or a party or two (or five), it seriously is one of the last remaining American moments of unity. Not perfect. Not totally. But pretty good. Even people who don’t watch football or even like it, watch some element of it.

Wanna bet, moron? A devout fan of Tom Landry’s Dallas Cowboys in the days of my misspent youth who would sooner gargle semen than miss a Cowboys game on the Teewee, I haven’t squandered a single minute of my time watching ANY National Felons’ League games since…what, the 1980’s, I guess? Much less the hyped-to-death Stupid Bowl extravaganza and the interminable months of playoff games leading up to it. Haven’t missed it, either. I have no plans to make this year a departure from that happy norm. And that, friend, is my promise to you.

In all seriousness and sincerity, I do fervently hope that the incessant TV camera zoom-ins on Trump and his entourage as they disport themselves in whatever posh, ultra-luxurious skybox they’ll be occupying absolutely ruins the whole experience for your whiny ass. Hell, if one of the networks set up a remote camera in your living room so as to broadcast your anguished reactions to your Super Sunday ordeal it might constitute sufficient justification for me to tune in my own self, against all odds and established precedent.

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

Fake Phony Fraud(s), S'faccim: two excellent descriptors coined by the late great WABC host Bob Grant which are interchangeable, both meaning as they do pretty much the same thing

Mordor On The Potomac: Washington, DC

The Enemy: shitlibs, Progtards, Leftards, Swamp critters, et al ad nauseum

Burn, Loot, Murder: what the misleading acronym BLM really stands for

pAntiFa: an alternative spelling of "fascist scum"

"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

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Correspondence

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Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
—Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Claire's Cabal—The Freedom Forums

FREEDOM!!!

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
—Daniel Webster

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill.”
—Charles Bukowski

“A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
—Ezra Pound

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
—Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.”
—John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves."
—Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged."
—GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free."
—Donald Sensing

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
—Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
—Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."
—Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
—David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
—John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
—Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
—Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
—Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
—NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
—Bill Whittle

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