Category: Damn that’s funny!

“The most perfect comedy of all time”

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Blazing Saddles might like to have a word, perhaps, but me, I can’t argue with that assessment.

Here’s a peek into one recent discussion I had on our PJ Media Slack channel with my friend and boss Paula Bolyard, our editor-in-chief:

Chris Queen [9:15 AM]
Hey, I have an idea for a column.

paula [9:22 AM]
A column? What is it?

Chris Queen [9:24 AM]
It’s a collection of words that discusses a certain topic, but that’s not important right now.

Okay, so that didn’t actually happen, but the fact that you laughed at it — at least I hope you did — demonstrates the staying power of what I call the most perfect comedy of all time: 1980’s “Airplane!”

Earlier this month saw the release of a behind-the-scenes book telling the story of how “Airplane!” took flight. I don’t normally do book reviews, but I listened to the audiobook of “Surely You Can’t Be Serious: The True Story of Airplane!” and it was one of the funniest and most fascinating listening experiences I’ve ever had.

As wonderful as I imagine the print edition of the book being, nothing can compare to hearing Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker telling the story of how they developed their love of comedy and filmmaking and how the two dovetailed together so perfectly with “Airplane!” Stories from cast and crew and studio executives, as well as appreciation from comedians and actors, make for a rich behind-the-scenes look at how a true film classic came together.

Could there possibly BE a more perfect opportunity to run a clip or three from the Zuckers’ magnum opus? I think NOT!

A bit heavy on the Rex Kramer, you may have noticed, only because Robert Stack’s Kramer would have to be my favorite character from the movie. I’ve seen Airplane! about a bazillion and one times over the years and can still hardly help but laugh every time he’s on screen, even if only for a few seconds. Back to the book review for our closer:

For years, I had heard some of the stories, such as how devout Christian Peter Graves was skittish about the creepiness of his character Capt. Oveur, but the directors talked him into going with it. “Surely You Can’t Be Serious” is loaded with fascinating and hilarious stories of how Abrahams and the Zuckers cast dramatic actors like Graves, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, and Lloyd Bridges in these roles.

The directors’ advice to their stars to deliver lines as if their characters don’t realize they’re in a comedy is genius, and it’s a huge part of the appeal. The list of actors that studios or producers wanted to cast but who didn’t make it into the movie is fascinating. Barry Manilow? Dom DeLuise? Bruce Jenner? (Abrahams claims that Jenner offered to read for the roles of Ted Striker and Elaine Dickinson, but it’s hard to tell if he’s deadpan or serious in delivering that line.)

The influence of studio executives like Michael Eisner and Jeffrey Katzenberg and producers like Howard Koch helped the directors bring their comic vision to life on the big screen. It’s inspiring the way men like these went to bat for the team in order to bring “Airplane!” to life.

The way the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team was able to get around plagiarizing “Zero Hour!,” the movie that served as the inspiration for “Airplane!,” was genius, as was the latitude they gave actors Norman Alexander Gibbs and Al White to develop the “jive” dialogue and train Barbara Billingsley in how to “speak jive.”

Music played an important role in making “Airplane!” so great. Composer Elmer Bernstein was responsible for many iconic “serious” movie scores, and he understood what the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team was looking for. His score helps give “Airplane!” the drama and tension that makes it so effective as a comedy and as good storytelling.

More good schtuff yet to the article, of which any fan of Airplane! (and how on earth could anyone NOT be?) will want to read the all.

Update! And stop calling me Shirley.

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Turnabout: fair play

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Paleosimian dismayed to find shoe on other foot.


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Handing a Leftwit “journalist” his head

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I wish he’d head South and run for President. Yes, I know, I know, he wasn’t born in the US and is thus Constitutionally ineligible. On the other hand, that sure didn’t stop Kenya-born Bathhouse Barry, now did it?


Calm, unflappable, laconically munching an apple while he takes this Mark-1 Mod-0 shitlib apart on camera—it’s entirely possible M Poilievre is actually Superman. As the esteemed Andrea Widberg says:

I’m one of those people who hates watching embarrassing things on TV or in movies. If I know the scene will be embarrassing, I take off my glasses and plug my ears. I almost had that urge to do both when watching Poilievre destroy the reporter. What Poilievre did to him was that brutal. Then I thought, “No, this reporter is a leftist hack. I’m not watching something painfully embarrassing. I’m watching something absolutely beautiful.”

Amen to that. Personally, I’d be every bit as happy if he’d just hurled his apple at the “journalist”’s nose à la Sam Gamgee (“waste of a good apple,” quoth Samwise afterwards), picked up a stout tree branch, and beat the dirtbag half to death with it upon said dirtbag’s first insufferably smarmy, smug insinuation disguised as a “question,” but that’s probably just me.

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Moar Stumblin’ Jaux

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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the “leader” of the “free” world.


Don’t know about you folks, but MY faith in the competence and capability of our “pResident” is fully and firmly restored.

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When the shoe’s finally on the other foot…

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Enjoy it to the very fullest.

Cancel Culture Finally Comes for the Left, and I Can’t Stop Laughing
As I wrote previously, all the geopolitical arguments in the world, right or wrong, do not excuse mass murder, including the massacring of children. When Hamas crossed the border and started indiscriminately killing people and taking hostages, there was no question that the gloves would have to come off. Complaints about settlements and the Al-Aqsa mosque became academic at that point.

Still, in the immediate aftermath of the attacks, some people actually came out in open support of Hamas’ atrocities, justifying them and blaming Israel for the murder of its own people. Joint letters were put out by universities and protests were held with chants glorifying Hamas “martyrs.”

Naturally, some companies decided that was a bridge too far and rescinded job offers to those who participated, and now the crying has begun.

Wait, am I supposed to feel sorry for a person who literally cheerleaded mass murder and claimed it was simply “resistance?” Is that really what the Post is suggesting with this hand-wringing article full of defenses of people espousing nazi ideology? Last I checked, the left loves cancel culture, and no single entity of the left loves it more than the university system.

Regardless, my response to this is simple: I can’t stop laughing.

This is what the left wanted. They wanted a world where people get publicly and professionally punished for the things they say. Further, they wanted the standard to be so low that people could get fired for simply speaking basic truths, such as that men can’t become women. But now, the very same left wants to pull back that standard to include supporting terrorists who shoot up music festivals.

Yeah, no. That’s not how this works.

Nor should it be. Yet it was, for way too many years. If the Woke worm is beginning to turn at long last, then hey, laugh, laugh away, I say. Shame it took a bestial mass-slaughter to make it happen, but…well, that’s the way it usually happens, historically-speaking.

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D-D-Doubling down

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Wherein Robert Spencer comes up with the most clever party-affiliation identifier for Alex Sandy From the Bronx Westchester yet conceived of.

Everything You Need to Know About the Israeli Occupation (That Is, Everything the Left Won’t Tell You)
There would be peace in the Middle East if Israel just ended its occupation, right?

That’s what the Squad wants you to think, anyway. The statements of the three primary members of this winsome leftist House coalition on the Hamas massacres in Israel had the distinct odor of canned talking points. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-Make Mine A Double) issued a statement that said, “I condemn Hamas’ attack in the strongest possible terms.” That was a good start, but she then turned on a dime to blame it all on Israel: “No child and family should ever endure this kind of violence and fear, and this violence will not solve the ongoing oppression and occupation in the region.” Ongoing oppression and occupation, see? If Israel would just ease up on the poor Palestinians, Hamas jihadis would all open restaurants and shops, and peace would dawn upon the region.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! I see what you did there, Robert; “Double” as in bartender terminology, or as in “bodacious Double-D hoo-ha’s”? Well done, buddy, well done indeed. Anyways. Onwards, to more serious matters.

So all three are in agreement: Israel’s occupation is the problem. It’s a shame that we don’t have any real journalists today, because someone should ask the same question to all three of them: “If Israel is occupying Palestinian land, can you please explain the basis in international law for Palestinian ownership of this land?” They all likely assume that there was a previous Palestinian state that the Israelis occupied and destroyed, but in reality, there has never been a Palestinian state of any kind, ever, at any point in history. There has been a region known as “Palestine” since 134AD, when the Romans applied that name to the land that had previously been known as Judea, that is, land of the Jews. But “Palestine” was akin to “Staten Island” — it was only the name of a region, never of a people or a nation.

By the beginning of the twentieth century, the Ottoman Empire had sovereignty over the territory that is now Israel and the supposedly occupied land as well. The Ottoman Empire was, however, known by this time as “The Sick Man of Europe.” In the early 1920s, just before the empire fell altogether, it conceded control of Palestine and the land that came to be known as Transjordan and now as Jordan to the League of Nations. On July 24, 1922, the League granted administrative control over these territories to Britain with specific instructions to create a “national home for the Jewish people.”

Britain immediately turned over 77% of the Mandate to the Arabs to create Jordan but remained generally committed to establishing a Jewish national home in the remainder. This was known as the Mandate for Palestine. Sometimes Leftists point to it as the Palestinian state that supposedly predated Israel, but this claim relies on the ignorance of the fact that this British territory had been explicitly set aside for Jewish settlement; nine years before the founding of the modern state of Israel, a 1939 flag of “Palestine” sports a star of David.

When the State of Israel was founded in 1948, it immediately had to fight a war for its survival against the surrounding Arab nations that had vowed to destroy it. Then there was finally an occupation — in fact, two: Egypt occupied Gaza and Jordan occupied Judea and Samaria (which it renamed the West Bank). Israel won back those territories in the Six-Day War of 1967, but that was actually ending an occupation, not starting one: the only international law governing sovereignty over those territories stipulated that they were to be part of a national home for the Jewish people.

So from whom was the land stolen? Not from the Ottomans, who had ceded it to the League of Nations. Not from the league, which had granted administrative powers over it to the British. Not from the British, who only had it in order to help create a Jewish state there. And not from the Palestinians, who didn’t even exist until the 1960s, when the KGB and Yasir Arafat bestowed Palestinian nationality upon a group of Levantine Arabs as a rhetorical weapon to use against Israel.

And there you have it: the whole ball of wax, wrapped up so neatly and concisely even a shitlib Sooperdoopergenius© should be able to comprehend it. Please do note I said should, not will.

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Ask a hard one next time

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A question from Gatito Bueno:

i am just a kitten, so please forgive me i(f) this is an obvious question to which most people know the answer and i do not but:

is this some sort of really dry sarcasm or just an astonishing lack of self-awareness?

NYTQ A

Heh. Oh, I think we all know the answer to your question right enough, Gatito. In fact, right offhand I can think of a few others to go along with it.

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The Rockwell that never was

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Via Ken Lane, AI is some doing some pretty amazing things.

Viral Norman Rockwell AI art reveals debauchery in America like you’ve never seen before
There’s an incredible new viral sensation sweeping the internet, and it’s both powerful and thought-provoking, offering a compelling snapshot of Biden’s America in disarray. So, what’s this intriguing online phenomenon?

Norman Rockwell paints modern America.

It’s a disturbing yet profoundly provocative modern AI tribute to Norman Rockwell, reimagining today’s disgraceful USA in Rockwell’s iconic style. Whoever conceived this idea is truly ingenious. These images are striking because they place the everyday propaganda we’re exposed to within the context of normal life, revealing the extent of how far we’ve fallen.

Let’s take a closer look at some of these powerful images.

Follows, some quite remarkable stuff, my personal favorite of which is the one depicting the deplorable state of shitlib-run cities:

RockwellsModernAmerica

Yep, AI Rockwell nailed that one clean and tight, I must say. Well, except for one niggling detail: during all the time I’ve spent in various big cities from sea to caustic sea, I can’t remember ever once seeing a nicely-dressed, smiling family of Whypeepuh strolling casually along the grimy, shit-strewn sidewalks, all carefree and unmolested by the stewbums, layabouts, criminals, and dope fiends surrounding them. Running for their very lives, more like.

Update! Aesop meme-a-lizes the above image plus two of the others, and it’s meme-a-licious.

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Emma Cadena, Reema Doleh

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That’s just two of the jihad-supporting Harvard students outed by the Doxxing Truck.

Meet the key figures propelling antisemitism at Harvard
Thirty-four student groups at Harvard University signed a letter earlier this week in response to the attack on Israel by Hamas that left 1,200 dead and at least 2,700 wounded. That letter blamed Israel for the attacks.

“We, the undersigned student organizations, hold the Israeli regime entirely responsible for all unfolding violence. The apartheid regime is the only one to blame,” the letter reads. “Israeli violence has structured every aspect of Palestinian existence for 75 years.”

The letter initially contained the names of the groups who signed the letter, but after widespread backlash, it was amended to say, “This statement was co-authored by a coalition of Palestine solidarity groups at Harvard. For student safety, the names of all original signing organizations have been concealed at this time.”

By the time it was amended, the list had already been spread far and wide. Just five of the student groups have withdrawn their signatures: Harvard College Act on a Dream, Amnesty International at Harvard, the Harvard Islamic Society, Harvard Undergraduate Ghungroo, and the Harvard Undergraduate Nepali Student Association.

The remaining groups and members of their leadership stand by the letter and its inflammatory claims. The names Accuracy in Media has been able to independently confirm are listed below.

You can be sure that every non-Arab shitlib on the list fully supports doxxing, harrassing, and harrying every Real American whose name, home and/or business address, and phone number they or their fellow shitlibs can get ahold of. The rest, of course, are just Mooselimb supremacist-fellating swine who should never have been allowed in this country to begin with, so fuck ‘em. The list as it currently stands:

African American Resistance Organization
Kiersten B. Hash, Founder

Amari M. Butler, Founder

Prince A. Williams, Founder

Clyve Lawrence, Founder

Kojo Acheampong, Founder

Harvard Muslim Law School Association
Hussain Awan, Co-President

Reema Doleh, Co-President

Ariq Hatibie, Executive Board Member

Saeed Ahmad, Executive Board Member

Hurya Ahmed, Vice President of Communications

Harvard Undergraduate Palestine Solidarity Committee
Shraddha Joshi, organizer

Josh Willcox, organizer

Sanaa Kahloon, member

And there you have it. Email the names to all your friends and family; call their bosses and pointedly inquire as to their thoughts about how they can justify keeping these Friends of Fiends gainfully employed; boycott any law firms you know of in your area who hire Harvard Law grads; you know the drill. Time and long past time we started flinging their own shit back in some Leftard faces. Or, as Ace so pithily puts it: it’s not cancel culture, it’s consequences culture. Indeed. Well done to the folks at AIM.

Update! Via Insty:

NotOurBiggestProblem

Heh. Indeed.

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I ask again: Is there really NOTHING they won’t try to Woke-ruin?

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And again the answer comes back loud and clear: No. No, there is not.

‘Robyn Hood’ Director Melts Down Over Series’ Negative Reception, Claims Show Is Being Review Bombed By “Racists”

Because of COURSE he did.

Apparently unable to accept that his ‘modern reimagining’ of the arrow-slinging outlaw may only appeal to a very, very small niche of audiences, Robyn Hood Julien Christian Lutz has lashed out at critics of his new series, accusing them of being not just “angry nerds”, but also outright racists.

Created by Lutz, otherwise known by his alias Director X, and featuring a story by Orphan Black story coordinator Chris Roberts, the eight-episode “near-fi-action drama” is described by its host network, Canada’s Global Television Network, as a “contemporary re-imagining of Robin Hood” wherein “Robyn is a fearless young woman who is not just another superhero, with abilities normal people don’t have.”

“She is a Gen Zer driven by the injustices of today who embraces the heroic, hopeful and playful elements of the world’s most recognizable folk hero,” details the series’ official synopsis. “She learns to fight for what’s right, to care for and lead her followers. And like all Robin Hoods since the first ballad, Robyn holds those in power to account by using their greed against them to help her community.”

“Robyn Hood follows Robyn Loxley, a young woman whose masked hip-hop band, The Hood, is known for their inventive videos and anti-authoritarian message,” it adds. “She lives in Sherwood Towers, a cluster of rental high-rises in a working-class corner of New Nottingham, a near-fi city where the cost of living has skyrocketed, leaving an ever-widening gap between the rich and everyone else.”

“When Robyn finds herself fighting for her home and her family against local property developer John Prince and The Sheriff of New Nottingham, Robyn and her band The Hood decide to fight back, righting the wrongs of the corrupt elite to give back to the people who are living under their regime,” the network concludes.

I have no words. Read on for a statistical breakdown of the dismal ratings for this latest colossal Wokester flop given by its miniscule audience.

Incandescent update! Straightaway another question pops up: Can these radiant artists of assbaggery like Directah X ’N’ Sheeit really not come up with a single original idea for a story, all on their own? Not even ONE?!?

Yeah, never mind. To ask the question is to answer it.

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T’is the season

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Be of good cheer—the holiday season officially kicked off last night, when the local classical station reran Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf, complete with narration, the early annual indicator ‘round these parts that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are nigh upon us. The other early indicator: Jurassic Media whining and bitching about how *checks notes* pumpkin spice is RAYCISSS!™, you guys!

Wait—
PUMPKIN SPICE? SRSLY?!?

Yep, apparently so.

FOOD POLITICS

Washington Post frets about ‘violent history’ of pumpkin spice
The paper reports that ‘thousands were killed, others enslaved’ over nutmeg in 1621.

The Washington Post is putting a damper on the fall by invoking the “violent history” of America’s beloved seasonal tradition: pumpkin spice. 

The report titled “Fall’s favorite spice blend has a violent history” set the scene of the Dutch’s 1621 invasion of the Banda Islands (located in modern day Indonesia), detailing that “Thousands were killed, others enslaved, and many who fled to the mountains were starved out.”

University of Texas at Austin historian Adam Clulow told The Post, “The Dutch company was later accused of carrying out what some describe as the first instance of corporate genocide…And it was all for nutmeg.” The report notes that nutmeg is “one of three key spices in the blend known as pumpkin spice.”

Ahhh, not just RAYCISS™, then; RAYCISS™ in that peculiarly Southren American way, via the uniquely American system of Nee-grow chattel slavery, which absolutely no other nation in the history of the universe has ever, ever engaged in, not ever.

God, but it must truly suck to be as wholly, inchoately miserable as these shitlib cocksickles are determined to be every single minute of every single day of their miserable existences. I wouldn’t trade places with them if you paid me by the hour, myself.

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Mouth, meet Money

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Another shitlib gets herself a painful schooling in the stark home-truth that a nation without borders, by definition, cannot be said to be a nation at all.

New York’s Democrat Governor Kathy Hochul ranted about failing immigration policies saying the southern border is ‘too open’ and demanded a limit on how many people can stream over into the US.

During a Sunday appearance on CBS’ ‘Face the Nation,’ Hochul said she feels the country’s border is currently too much of a free-for-all.

‘We want [Congress] to have a limit on who can come across the border,’ said Hochul.

‘People coming from all over the world are finding their way through, simply saying they need asylum, and the majority of them seem to be ending up in the streets of New York, and that is a real problem for New York City,’ she added, echoing what Mayor Eric Adams has been saying for months.

‘It’s in our DNA to welcome immigrants. But there has to be some limits in place.’

How delightfully ironic—that’s precisely what beleaguered border towns have been telling open-borders D卐M☭CRATs like yourself for years and years now, you miserable bint. Compounding the irony is this (bold mine):

‘Congress has to put more controls at the border,’ she said, noting that some lawmakers have called for a reduction in the number of Border Patrol officers stationed down south.

‘Talk about eliminating positions for Border Patrol, well, we actually need to double or quadruple those numbers,’ she said.

Within the last 18-months, more than 110,000 migrants have arrived in New York City.

OOOOOOHHHHH, you poor pitiful Sanctuary State/City pearls! Over a hundred thou, is it? How very awful for you all! May I remind you that a lowball-estimated 20 fucking MILLION immivaders have crossed our (former) borders the last few years, the majority of them blitzing tiny Texas towns who hadn’t smarmily declared themselves to be “Sanctuary” anything.

Officials have been scrambling to house and provide basic accommodations for the massive number, and the attention of the city’s government has been diverted, often at the expense of the legal population of the Big Apple.

“Massive number,” my wrinkled, baggy scrotum. You asked for it, you got it. Now deal.

More at the link, which I didn’t bother reading because of a sudden onset of intense ennui and lack of concern.

Backupdate! Not as bad as all that then, huh Kath?

Sunday, Gov. Hochul delivered a spot-on explanation for New York’s current dilemma — for how it came to be stuffed full of penniless border-hoppers.

The problem, she said, is the border itself: As in, “It’s too open right now.”

Which it obviously is. The consequences — societal, fiscal and cultural — also are obvious, and becoming more so.

But Hochul’s candor — aimed squarely at Washington, and at Joe Biden in particular — clearly has had consequences too.

On Monday, she was warbling a different — far more deferential — tune. To wit:

“With respect to what was said about the border, I have called for a more thoughtful, balanced national immigration — federal — immigration policy.”

Translation: “Oops, I sure stepped in it this time. Please don’t hurt me.”

Ah, but Gov. Flippity-Flop needn’t worry. She’s too compliant to be of concern, especially after re-embracing the orthodoxy — and, in the process, making sure that nobody ever again takes seriously a word she says.

It’s not hard to imagine the blowback Hochul’s impertinence generated; the phone calls doubtless came fast and furious — the message being clear: “Nice incumbency you got there, guv. Be a pity if something happened to it.”

To which Hochul might have replied: “Go to hell. This is my state, and I’m going to do what I can — what I must — to protect it.”

What a glorious, liberating moment that would have been – both for Hochul and for the Empire State itself.

But she said no such thing.

She groveled – and now she, and New York, can expect more of the same: More disrespect, for sure, but also many, many more budget-crushing economic wanderers masquerading as political refugees.

Tough noogies, sez I. You can be sure that, whoever New York’s governor ends up being, he/she/it will be another of their patented cookie-cutter D卐M☭CRAT shitlibs, who will put political intrigue, corruption, and personal privilege over the best interests of the people they misrule, as always. I know there are a fair few saner sorts in the less-citified corners upstate; they’re so lopsidedly outnumbered, one can’t help but feel kinda bad for them, really.

That said, in NY as in Europe “conservative” doesn’t mean anything close to what Real Americans understand by the word. That’s something that should always be borne closely in mind. Even Rudy Giuliani, contra his hardass right-winger image in The City itself, was always a Big Government guy—a lot more liberal than Flyover folks might assume. Mind you, he did a fine job as mayor and prosecutor both, no denying that. Rudy really did save NYC from itself; I lived there then, and watched him do it. What fun it was for a guy like me to behold, too. Take him out of the Five Boroughs and plonk him down in Alabama or Oklahoma or Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, though, and he’s just another “moderate” at best.

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Wisdom of the ages

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Listening just now to one of the best OTR shows, Gunsmoke, Doc Adams was opining to Marshall Dillon:

ADAMS: Y’know, Matthew, in Europe they don’t allow people to just walk around with guns like this…

DILLON: Yeah, but Doc, this ain’t Europe, we’re in Dodge City.

ADAMS: That’s true, I guess. At least here, we can still drink.

Heh. Turns out, some truths really ARE eternal.

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"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
—Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
—Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."
—Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
—David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
—John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
—Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
—Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
—Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
—NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
—Bill Whittle

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