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SSDD

Did he or didn’t he? Only his on-staff dipey-dumper knows for sure.

Did Joe Biden Poop Himself at the D-Day Event?
If there was any doubt that the United States is no longer a serious country with a serious mainstream media, let’s consider it settled science after the internet erupted this morning when it appeared Joe Biden pooped his pants during the D-Day event at Normandy.

PJ Media’s Matt Margolis covered the more-than-awkward event where President Biden made several humiliating gaffes, which certainly has Vladimir Putin quaking in his boots having to face off against such senility in Ukraine. However, the circus became even crazier as X users noticed a video clip where Joe Biden bends over in front of Jill in a moment where it looked like he lost control of his bowels. In the same clip, Jill Biden appears to cover her nose to escape the stench. 

Tim Pool, the purveyor of the hit YouTube political program Timcast, noted, “Oh my god he’s pooping,” which set off a poopstorm of users laughing at the President on X, not the image that Joe Biden wanted to present in the middle of an election season on a trip abroad. 

However, leave it to the left-wing serious journalists at The Daily Beast to make sure the record on this matter was fact-checked on behalf of the administration. Within hours of the event, the site had an article titled, “This Video Shows Joe Biden Did Not—in Fact—Poop Himself at D-Day Event,” oddly listed under the “Extremism” category. Whether the extremism has to do with any Chipotle burritos Joe Biden consumed before the event or not, it’s unclear.  

In the article, the mainstream shill author defends Joe Biden’s engagement as “forceful” despite the President barely excreting the words out for his canned speech. The writer tried to paint laughing at what’s a ridiculous scene — whether it’s true Joe Biden pooped or not — as some kind of situation where a viewer should be ashamed of himself for thinking such a thing of the President.  

The article branded people laughing at a ridiculous scene as “MAGA Trolls,” and the more the author protested, the more it seems the Daily Beast is attempting to cover up a hot turd on behalf of the administration. 

It’s embarrassing that we live in a country where we have to legitimately wonder whether our President pooped himself or not. This isn’t the first strange act of senility by Joe Biden, but merely the latest in a long list of cringe-worthy moments during his tenure as president. 

How DARE you impugn our Dear Leader so maliciously, you dirty Ultra-Über-Mega-MAGAT terrorist, you! Why, for a senile sharp, marginally ambulatory nimble, decrepit vigorous, detested stumblebum beloved statesman whose lower-bowel functions are incontrovertibly—a-HENH!—regular as the seasons, reliable as a Swiss watch; one hundred percent all-natural without need for laxatives, stool-softeners, enemas, anti-diarrheals, or other pharmaceutical/chemical/mechanical artificialities; and under his control completely, Too Auld Jaux is doing one HELL of a bang-up job masquerading as ***”pResident”***, damn your eyes.

For my money, the answer to my post-opening query is of no real import, pretty much beside the point. Just the fact that the question keeps cropping up again and again is entertaining enough all by itself. Sure, knowing for a certainty that the malevolent, crooked old kiddy-diddler was serially plagued by involuntary doody-downloads during public appearances, speeches, grip ’n’ grins, and such-like events would be a seriously awesome bonus. But even so, watching as the charge’s unassailable credibility compels shitlibs to rally round in spluttering, fumbletongued defense of the Incontinent in Chief every time he stops, squats, grunts, and grimaces in perfect red-faced emulation of cranking yet another ***”pResidential”*** stink-pickle in his Depends is almost as good.

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8 thoughts on “SSDD

  1. The clip is 13 seconds long, and so that to me is always a red flag – where’s the rest of it – and why has it been cut? It leaves out context as do all short clips like that. I’ve seen such stunts done by both sides to put out false narratives – and that is what was done here. Yes, Biden is acting feeble and confused, he was feeling for a chair to sit down, but I doubt that he shit his pants – see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSGLkp9VyGk and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_s3ttwg810. There are longer clips out there, I’ll put one in the reply to this message if I can find it again. A lot of the 100 year old vets were a lot more on the ball than Biden. There is no way he should be running for a second term, not after that performance. As I said, a lot of the vets who showed up looked a lot better than a man 20 years younger than they were.

        1. And some truly godawful side-effects, too! As a big fan of uppers in a former life, I know whereof I speak.

          In my NYC days, a good friend of mine there had a Dexedrine prescription, which picker-uppers he would hand out to our crew at Rodeo Bar shows, we all called ’em “bop pills,” after the Macy Skipper rockabilly classic of that name, later covered quite capably by the Cramps, who I wrote about here not long ago.

          They were GREAT: not at all speedy or jangly or teeth-grindy, no hangover at all; you just felt extremely, pleasantly alert for a few hours. As always with any drug, the pharmaceutical stuff is the only way to fly, if you can get your hands on it.

  2. When last we looked, Emperor Stumblefuck Poopypants 1st has shat himself literally or figuratively every single day since January 1st, 2020.

    It’s who he is.

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