What a pluperfect asshole.
— Evel Knievel (@evelknievel)
See what I mean? What kind of weapons-grade dick-with-ears would jump in to bat around a vintage toy like that, chancing busting the thing all to smithereens on the asphalt? I had one of those myself back when I was but a wee sprat, and I can damned sure tell ya what woulda happened to this dude if he’da dared do that to mine. He’da wound up with a gaggle of the neighborhood rugrats latched onto his ankles, chawing on his ears and kicking him in his tiny, withered nutsack, that’s what. Hell, I had a scruffy, mean-ass pitbull pup back then, yclept Heinz, that woulda made mincemeat of his sorry ass, just on principle alone.
I mean, okay, I checked, and they DO still sell ‘em, for the low, low price of…40 smackers? Jeez. That said, at least it isn’t irreplaceable or anything.
But still. Jerkwad.