GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Belated birthday wishes

Yesterday was the 270th anniversary of the birth of the greatest composer of orchestral music to ever draw breath: the incomparable Joannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can hear you Beethovenn snobs sniffing and pouting and harrumphing from all the way over here. Just pipe down awready; you ain’t ever gonna get me to diss Ludwig Van, I wholeheartedly love his stuff. Bit considering that A) his output is simply not in Mozart’s league just in terms of sheer numbers; let’s see now, Beethoven’s Nine (9) symphonies against Mozart’s forty-one? One (1) Beethoven opera versus twenty-two for Mozart? Granted, Beethoven’s work is all top-notch (except for that one opera, which kinda sucks if you ask me), and Mozart had more active working years than Beethoven did. Mozart began composing seriously as a child, completing his Symphony No 1-—among his best creations, still performed to this day, a mature, fully realized, exquisitely put-togeher work, in no sense the slapdash, hit-and-miss, half-baked product from the mind of a child—at the tender age of eight (8) years!

Somewhat more telling, there’s also B) Beethoven himself was profoundly influenced by Mozart, an influence which is easily discerned in several Beethoven compositions. Ludwig Van maintained deepest respect for his gifted peer, even going so far as to lift  sections from Mozart pieces and insert them, whole and intact, into his own work, even giving official, written credit to Mozart on one of them. Beethoven also wrote some of the all-time best cadenzas for Mozart compositions. Extra-secil fine are the cadenzas for several Mozart piano concertos.

Taken all together, these gestures are indicative of Beethoven’s high regard for Mozart’s creative ability, ingenuity, impeccable taste and sense of style,, and positively uncanny talent. Whenever somebody tried to cop something from one of my songs to use himself, I considered it a tremendous complimen: sincere. honest, and stright from th heart, mo way of faking it. To me, that’s high praise indeed.

Anyhoo, yes, sinçe I was a young kid taking piano lessons I have considered Mozart the absolute best ever, although there quite a few other greats I revere as well: Beethoven, Haydn, Schubert, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak, Chopin, to name but a few. At ay rate, here’s the third movement of the wee tyke’s First Symphony, one of my personal faves since I was about nine (9) my own self. Never tried to write up an arrangement of it for solo piano but I never did, it just never occurred to me until recently and now, with my hands crippled into near-uselessness, it’s too late.

Happy birthday, Wolfgang. We will never forget you.

Day of days

Our friend MWC reminds us of a YUGELY important day of remembrance.

Today is J.R.R. Tolkien day. If you feel like it, raise a glass to The Professor at 9:00 pm your local time.

My boxed set of The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings is one of my treasured possessions. The daughter of a friend just told me she is re-reading the books and was halfway through The Return of the King.

Between Tolkien and C.S. Lewis (yes, two ends of the spectrum) I found new worlds and new ways of looking at the world. They led me into a lifetime of reading.

Ditto here, girlfriend. For years, I would re-read the LOTR trilogy every fall, because September was when both Bilbo and Frodo began their epic journeys.

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In praise of…pit bulls?

These excellent but overly-maligned doggehs are due some, that’s for sure. But, as those of us who have had pitties before already know, almost all of what the congenitally dishonest, pig ignorant “they” say about the breed isn’t remotely true.

The Jews of the Canine World
Pit bulls have been unfairly stereotyped as genetically dangerous monsters. Sound familiar?

I’ve always loved dogs that look like pit bulls: wide and smiling faces, goofy expressions, broad chests, sturdy bodies, short coats, enthusiastic tails. I grew up not knowing about dog fighting, or about this breed’s vicious reputation. My terror was reserved for German shepherds (my equally frightened little brother tremulously called them “sheffers”), with their pointy, mean faces and loud barks. There were some territorial ones in the yards in my Providence, Rhode Island, neighborhood.

But after moving to New York, I came to understand that pit bulls are hated. My little East Village copy shop, where we got Josie’s bat mitzvah invitations, has a big, short-coated, wide-chested, flat-faced dog behind the counter. His name is Curtis. He comes when you call and accepts head-pats with dignity. But when I asked the owner, Santo, what kind of dog Curtis was, he hesitated. “He’s a mix,” Santo said. “Terrier, other things … pit bull.” He clearly was reluctant to say those two words. He thought I’d recoil.

You know what people say about pit bulls: Violence is in their genes. They have double rows of teeth. Their jaws can unhinge like a snake’s. Their jaws lock after they bite. They don’t feel pain the way other dogs do. In 1987, U.S. News and World Report called them “the most dangerous dog in America,” able to “chomp through chain-link fences.” The Guardian called pit bulls “dogs of war who can bite through concrete.” Time called them “time bombs on legs” and started a story on them with a quote from The Hound of the Baskervilles:

Fire burst from its open mouth, its eyes glowed with a smouldering glare, its muzzle and hackles and dewlap were outlined in flickering flame. Never in the delirious dream of a disordered brain could anything more savage, more appalling, more hellish, be conceived than that dark form and savage face.

A friend had her family dog genetically tested, and when she discovered it had some pit bull lineage, she gave it away. Her kids sobbed. But what if the dog just lost it one day? That’s what pit bulls do, right?

None of this, of course, is true. Bronwen Dickey’s fascinating new book Pit Bull: The Battle Over an American Icon charts the evolution of pit bull stereotyping. (It begins with a quote from André Gide: “There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”) In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, pit bulls were considered the family-friendliest dogs. Dogs that looked like them served in the Battle of Gettysburg and in Normandy. One accompanied Laura Ingalls Wilder’s family in their covered-wagon journey across the prairie. Helen Keller owned and adored one. Another (named Votes!) accompanied suffragist Virginia Watrous on the campaign trail in 1915. Still another starred in the “His Master’s Voice” campaign for RCA and another in the “Our Gang” kiddie comedies. Dickey observes that pit bulls were then seen as “quintessentially American: good-natured, brave, resilient, and dependable.” But within a few decades, they’d become DNA-driven vicious beasts, “biologically hardwired to kill.”

My first dog was a pittie, as was my last, along with a few others in between—the last one being just the sweetest ol’ girl ever to walk on four legs and shit in the backyard and tremble like a leaf in a gale during thunderstorms: the late, great Cookie (Monster). A photo of my dear, departed friend: Pretty girl, no? When I took her to the Gastonia, NC animal shelter to be put down at not quite 16 years of age, after the attendants had put her in the little cart and wheeled her off and inside to do the dirty deed I sat out in the parking lot and cried like a disgruntled infant for well over two hours. I still can hardly believe my darling pupster is gone, and I miss her still.

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Send in the clowns

Don’t bother, they’re here.

New York magazine writer stumps Zohran Mamdani, top aides with ‘cost of living’ question
A magazine reporter stumped Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani and his closest advisers with a question about lowering the cost of living in the Big Apple.

Mamdani and his crew didn’t have an answer when a New York Magazine writer asked for a comparable city as the democratic socialist waxed poetic about his lofty “principle” of bringing down the cost of living in the five boroughs.

“I asked him and some of his advisers if there were cities that had pulled this off that New York could emulate, places that had managed to meaningfully lower the cost of living. None sprang to mind,” the article stated.

“Talk to policy experts, and they find the prospect laughable; the only cities where this has happened are ones where the quality of life dropped so dramatically that no one wanted to live there anymore.”

Point being…? What with the recent mass exodus of the last pitiful handful of sensible, intelligent souls from the ruins, NYC is already sprinting just as hard and fast as it can for the very bottom of that particular fly-blown dungheap. And with commie nitwit Zsa Zsa “A job? ME?!?” Mammyjammy at the wheel, you gotta like their chances. Taking the checkered flag in this particular race is nothing to get excited about, certainly. Even so, purblind City dwellers had better make the most of it and enjoy the Booby Prize while they can—this will be the last victory New Yorkers will have for a long, long time. Après MammyJammy, le déluge.

Clearly, the above-mentioned New Yorker hack didn’t get the memo: you never, but NEVER, ask a Socialist a question about economic policy. They know about as much on that subject as famous retard Tampon Timmeh! Walz does about string theory, therefore are sure to make a dog’s breakfast of the whole enterprise.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, gang, but after all the years, all the tears, and all the predictions of imminent doom which turned out to be a trifle premature, New York is truly over and done with. You only get so many spins of the cylinder before a loaded chamber comes up, so many goes at taunting the tiger before the tiger chews you to pieces and spits you out. About three weeks worth of MammyJammy (mis)rule ought to put the final nail in NYC’s coffin. Resilient as the City has proven itself to be time and again, selecting as Mayor a dull-witted, silver-spoonfed Muzzrat Richie Rich who has never worked a day in his useless life is a self-inflicted wound from which Noo Yawk Fuckin’ City will not recover.

Trump must continue to hammer the point home like a broken record: there will be NO bailout, NO federal relief programs, NO FederalGovCo knight in shining armor riding up on his snow-white charger to pull NYC’s chestnuts out of the fire in the very nick of time. New Yorkers, having voted for the assclown MammyJammy overwhelmingly—a landslide romp which, in effect, bestows one of the strongest mandates ever on an egomaniacal muttonhead who is singularly illl-equipped to wield it judiciously—now have no one but themselves to blame for what they’ll soon be getting. Let them get it then, Mencken-style (ie, good and hard), until they’re so completely downcast that the humiliation of this latest and greatest folly in a long and distinguished line of foolish, impenitent acts of municipal auto-annihilation shall be seared into their collective memory forever.

May New Yorkers rue the day they made such an suicidally-unwise choice. May the impending catastrophe scar them so indelibly they will be driven to reconsider…well, damned near everythiing, actually. May the enduring pain of this experience burn away, like a chill morning fog, their abiding arrogance; their deep-seated superiority complex; their ahistorical ignorance; and their counterfactual assumptions. May the sight of their once-majestic City burning all around them—collapsing into violence, lawlessness, and anarchy thanks to their own infantile prejudices and delusions—inspire them at long last to embrace humility, contrition, and thoughtfulness.

And if that doesn’t work out, just build a 40-foot high, razor-wire-topped, concrete wall around Manhattan, post armed guards along the perimeter, shut off the electricity, rename it Manhattan Island Federal Penitentiary. Then, should PoTUS’s chopper go down inside the Wall, send Snake Plissken in to bring the blaggard back out again.

Notable anniversary

Nobody seems to know exactly on which date Ludwig Van Beethoven’s birthday falls, but what is known is that today, Decembef 17th, is the anniversary of his baptism. Which is all the excuse I need to run this.

Assuming I did that right, which I freely admit I may not have, the above vid should begin with the opening of the 2nd movement of my personal favorite of the Beethoven symphonies (ie, the oft-overlooked number 7), and carry on from there.

Just the 2nd and 3rd movements are my faves, I should say; the first movement is alright, I have no real gripe with it, but the 4th just leaves me altogether cold; for whatever reason, I just can’t get with it AT. ALL. Probably on account of I’m an idjit, I suppose.

Really, when it comes to the finales of Beethoven symphonies it’s pretty dang tough to top the triumphant, rousing finale of the famous 5th, sometimes spuriously referred to as the “Fate” Symphony*.

Yeeee-OOOWWWW! Man, music just does not GET any better than that, if you disagree, please keep it under your hat or I cannot be your friend anymore.

* It has been claimed that Beethoven said of the stirring “ dit-dit-dit-DAAAH” riff which opens the Fifth, “Thus Fate knocks at the door.” Hence, the “Fate” Symphony. This tale is almost certainly apocryphal, however; the most credible explanation of it I ever read was that the “Fate” moniker was actually coined by his secretary/publicist, who put it about to generate some extra buzz for his boss’s latest masterwork.

When “random”…

Ain’t.

A Lot of “Randomness” About
Some readers have wondered why I have not commented on the weekend shooting at Brown University. That’s chiefly because I have no insight into the event you haven’t heard from others:


The loss of a child offends the natural order. The loss of a child at Christmas taints the season for what’s left of a parent’s life. We know the murder of Sarah Beckstrom at Thanksgiving was a direct consequence of government policy whose terrible costs do not fall on those who impose it. Why Ella Cook was killed we cannot yet say. However, her fellow victim has now been named:

The second victim of the Brown University shooting has been identified as 18-year-old Mukhammad Aziz Umurzokov.

After brain surgery at age 10, he always dreamed of becoming a neurosurgeon, which is what he was studying for.

So a rare public conservative on a left-wing campus and a young man called Mukhammad are killed in the classroom of a Jewish professor. Any or none of those could be relevant factors. Alternatively, it could be some other motive – or no motive at all. Just the rotten luck of the draw. I hope we shall find out, but – thanks to the usual clown-car of forty-eight different municipal, county, state and federal “law-enforcement” agencies – the murderer remains at large.

A shitshow of a dumpster fire of a trainwreck of a dog’s breakfast of a shit-circus all around, then—no more nor less than what we’ve come to expect in Amerika v2.0 these days, sad to say.

It’s a celebration, bitch!

One of the funniest things I ever saw, on TeeWee or anyplace else. Most of you will probably remember it well, and any of you who have’t seen it before, trust me: you’re in for a real treat, bitches.

Good, good stuff. Tragically, Charlie Murphy is yet another stellar entertainer who left us way too soon.

Murphy was a resident of Tewksbury Township, New Jersey. He was married to Tisha Taylor Murphy from 1997 until her death from cervical cancer in December 2009. The couple had two children together, and Murphy had a child from a previous relationship. He was a karate practitioner.

Murphy died from leukemia on April 12, 2017, at age 57 in New York City, New York.

Sad, sad, sad. The Prince skit at the first of the above vid is funny as all hell, too.

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Fare thee well

To Ace Frehley. founding member and for many years lead guitarist of KISS.

KISS founding member Ace Frehley dead at 74
KISS founding member reportedly suffered from a brain bleed last month

Jeezum H CROW, 74?!? Can that POSSIBLY be right? He’s actually, like, 35 or so, isn’t he?

KISS founding member Ace Frehley has died after suffering injuries from a fall last month. He was 74.

Frehley’s family confirmed his death to Fox News Digital.

“We are completely devastated and heartbroken. In his last moments, we were fortunate enough to have been able to surround him with loving, caring, peaceful words, thoughts, prayers and intentions as he left this earth,” the statement from his family said.

“We cherish all of his finest memories, his laughter, and celebrate his strengths and kindness that he bestowed upon others. The magnitude of his passing is of epic proportions, and beyond comprehension. Reflecting on all of his incredible life achievements, Ace’s memory will continue to live on forever!”

Well, if I have anything to say about it it damned sure will. Nothing personal here, but you can keep your Bruce Kulicks and your Vinny Vincents for all me—there’ll never be any other KISS lead guitarist but ACE as far as I’m concerned.

Inline update! Notice, if you will, at several points in the above solo Ace goes to the low-E string and it’s gotten so badly out of tune (flat, I mean) that he has to start pulling it hard sharp to make it sound right. Only a seriously good player would even think of such a stratagem in the heat of a high-pressure onstage moment. Which, Ace really WAS a much better guitarist than he ever got credit for being; there are quite a few clues to this home truth for those of us who know how to spot ‘em. In fact, only a seriously good player would be irritated enough by that one out-of-tune string to even think it needed addressing by anyone other than his guitar tech, after the solo and the song were over.

Farewell, Paul “Ace” Frehley, and thanks for everything.

Update! Annnnnd straight down a KISS rabbit hole I go.

Rabbit hole update! Yep, it’s a rabbit hole awright. A fun one, at least.

It’s always annoyed the hell out of me, how, whenever Ace goes into the solo, these cameramen cut to Paul Stanley and just sit there like knots on a friggin’ log. Never have understood that one, but they do it all the time, with just about every good band.

Which reminds me: a cpl-three days ago I ran across an interview with Bon Scott, wherein the interviewer asked him about AC/DC’s upcoming tour with KISS. Bon obliged, although he forgot the hell out of Gene Simmons’ name, calling him “Clint” or “Cliff” or some such. It was funny as all hell, I’ll have to see if I can’t dig that one up and attach it to this post.

Better days update! CARL Neiher Cliff nor Clint; it was Carl, dammit.

Pretty rarified circles the Bonny boy traveled in before dying too young, I must say.

Icky update! So I switch back over to the classical stream, click on “Play,” and what do I hear firsr thing but an ad for an upcoming show extolling the unbearable cacophonist Philip Glass and his amazing infuence on orchestral music. UGH! No sale, pally, it’s back to the KISS vids for me, thanks.

Then, now

I noticed something rather intriguing, albeit a tad worrisome, in Steyn’s rerun of his Margaret Thatcher obit from years back. To wit:

A few hours after Margaret Thatcher’s death on Monday, the snarling deadbeats of the British underclass were gleefully rampaging through the streets of Brixton in South London, scaling the marquee of the local fleapit and hanging a banner announcing “THE BITCH IS DEAD”. Amazingly, they managed to spell all four words correctly. By Friday, “Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead”, from The Wizard of Oz, was the Number One download at Amazon UK.

Mrs Thatcher would have enjoyed all this. Her former speechwriter John O’Sullivan recalls how, some years after leaving office, she arrived to address a small group at an English seaside resort to be greeted by enraged lefties chanting “Thatcher Thatcher Thatcher! Fascist fascist fascist!” She turned to her aide and cooed, “Oh, doesn’t it make you feel nostalgic?” She was said to be delighted to hear that a concession stand at last year’s Trades Union Congress was doing a brisk business in “Thatcher Death Party Packs” – almost a quarter-century after her departure from office.

Of course, it would have been asking too much of Britain’s torpid left to rouse themselves to do anything more than sing a few songs and smash a few windows. In The Wizard of Oz, the witch is struck down at the height of her powers by Dorothy’s shack descending from Kansas to relieve the Munchkins of their torments. By comparison, Britain’s Moochkins were unable to bring the house down: Mrs Thatcher died in her bed at the Ritz at a grand old age.

“Sing a few songs…smash a few windows”—how very quaint! Anybody think that today’s Goosesteppin’ Leftists, either in Ole Blighty, Amerika v2.0, or pretty much anyplace else in Western Civ, would content themselves with such trifles nowadays? It is to laugh, I’m afraid. Or, provided you think long enough and hard enough about the various issues involved, to weep.

If Mrs Thatcher had had our current crop of Violent Leftards to deal with back then, she would probably have died a lot younger than she did, and it’s all but a dead cert that it wouldn’t have been in any plush bed at the Ritz Hotel, either.

Just another marker for how much the world has changed since those days.

Blowing the fuck UP

Kind of a hassle, embedding all these things is, but it simply MUST be done, it ain’t no way no how optional.

 


Last but definitely not least, we have this moving, beautiful remembrance.

Powerful is indeed the word. There just couldn’t possibly be a more fitting celebratory tribute than the traditional Maori posture-dance, a heartfelt gesture of love and respect offered by a clan of righteous warriors to honor their fallen brother.

MAN ALIVE! Anybody else think it got pretty dusty in here all of a sudden? *SNIFF*

The power of Elvis part…4?

Well, kinda-sorta, anyway. NOTE: Check out the Greatest Hits page for the first three “Power of Elvis…” installments, to which this post isn’t exactly related other than that they all share a common topic. Or it wasn’t my intention when I was writing it for this piece to be related, nor to amount to a sequel to the others, at any rate. What the hey, it’s all about Elvis in the end, so why belabor such a trivial point?

Today being August 16th, and August 16th, 1977 being the death-i-versary of the once, future, and forever King of Rock and Roll, let’s get to commemoratin’, shall we?

First off, we gots a YewToob of what I consider one of Elvis’s most appealing signature songs, a catchy R&B confection originally penned by Lloyd Price*, which would soon after be immortalized on 2-inch Ampex Grand Master R2R tape (amazing price at the link: 35 dollars? Back in my day we had to fork over slightly more than a hunnerd smackeroos for it) by Price in a NOLA studio session run by the great Dave Bartholomew, writer and producer of many if not most of Antoine “Fats” Domino’s early chartbusters.

Lots of wonderful archival pix in that one of Elvis, Gladys, and the iconic Jordanaires quartet in younger, happier days.

In his latter-day backing band Elvis had a genuine virtuoso on lead guitar, the savant James Burton (“…one of the best guitar players to ever touch a fretboard”), who back in the late ‘60s began working for E first as a player in the touring band, later a recording-studio session man**. Burton stayed on with Presley in both positions until Elvis’s death.

Here’s a fat-Elvis vid of Burton strutting his stuff in Omaha, Nebraska taken in June of ’77, a mere couple of months before Elvis departed this vale of tears. In this short clip, Burton whips his trademark ugly-ass pink paisley Telecaster like a rented mule.

Even a partial listing of musicians Burton worked with either onstage or in the studio is nothing short of jawdropping: Bob Luman; Dale Hawkins; Ricky Nelson; Elvis Presley (he was also leader of Presley’s TCB Band, the same slot as the similarly awe-inspiring Travis Wammack filled for/with Little Richard Penniman at Tramps when the BPs played a 2-shows-per-night, three-night stand opening for the self-styled Architect of Rock & Roll); The Everly Brothers; Johnny Cash; Merle Haggard; Glen Campbell; John Denver; Gram Parsons; Emmylou Harris; Judy Collins; Jerry Lee Lewis; Claude King; Elvis Costello; Joe Osborn; Roy Orbison; Joni Mitchell; Hoyt Axton; Townes Van Zandt; Steve Young; Vince Gill; and Suzi Quatro.

Pretty impressive rundown of name artists, no? All the more impressive because it IS only partial. Others omitted include: Albert Lee, Rodney Crowell, Steve Wariner, Brian May, and Jeff “Skunk” Baxter, to name but a noteworthy few. Even this incomplete list is in fact a veritable Who’s Who of rock & roll, country, rockabilly, and pop artists, that’s what.

Next up: in the aftermath of The King’s bruising humiliation on The Steve Allen Show (after which disastrous outing Elvis could only describe himself as “distraught,” finding himself practically incapable of coherent speech due to the miserable asshat Allen’s openly-flaunted dislike of and contempt for Presley not just as a performer but personally) a visibly-exhausted Elvis had a long, cordial conversation with columnist/reporter/interviewer Hy Gardner for his popular “Hy Gardner Calling” phone-in show.

What a nice departure the warm, friendly, gregarious way Gardner treated the young phenom is from the egomaniac Steve Allen’s supercilious, sneering approach.

Last but by no means least, we come to the well-known story of a show-stopping (literally!) Vegas altercation betwixt Elvis Presley and a belligerent, sloppy-drunk oaf heckler, Big (Boob) Mike Henderson. Clocking in at just under 16 minutes it’s a long ‘un, I freely admit. But stick with it, definitely; the payoff is well worth the wait.

Awright, awright, a WAY better payoff woulda been seeing Elvis slam a hard, fast knuckle samwidge into this punk-ass bitch’s snot locker, knocking Sir Punch-A-Lot flat on his stupid ass onto the casino stage.

As is noted in the vid, Elvis’s deft defusing of a volatile, rapidly-escalating confrontation which could just as easily have taken a different, much darker turn was so smoothly managed that his handling of the situation is still studied today in conflict-management and -resolution training courses as the pluperfect example of how it’s done. Soft-spoken, surehanded, patient, preternaturally calm, humane—against all odds, Elvis forged peace from what appeared to be inevitable, unavoidable violence; soothed and gently reassured 1) a twitchy, unhinged antagonist; 2) an audience made anxious by the increasingly irrational bluster and brigandry of the inebriated, obnoxious lowlife; 3) every musician, crewman, custodian, sound/lighting technician, and venue staffer onstage with the prospective combatants; turned an enemy into a friend by merely speaking frankly and honestly to and demonstrating an unfeigned interest in him—all these nigh-impossibilities pulled off singlehandedly before a capacity crowd of 20,000 screaming cash customers, no less!

Too, it tells us everything we’ll ever need to know about what kind of man Elvis Presley really, truly was way down deep inside.

The narrator of the above vidya dryly informs us that, as the artist the Colonel liked to call “My Boy” strode placidly out to front-center-stage to address his rage-incapacitated interlocutor, Tom Parker was standing in the wings at Stage Right “having a heart attack,” and I expect he was at that. Elvis’s bandmates and backing vocalists (the Sweet Inspirations, Millie Kirkham, and Kathy Westmoreland), the audience, the stagehands, go-fers, and production crew—they must surely ALL have been clutching their chests in prodigious agonies of consternation at the sight of the show’s Starring Attraction putting himself in harm’s way so nonchalantly.

Moving on from speculation, hypothesizing, and out-and-out fantasizing, to this day Elvis Presley still outsells pretty much everybody else, and not by a small margin, either. Despite the figures that show the product fairly flying off the shelves, Elvis Presley records, tapes, and CDs don’t turn up in the Hot 100 nowadays because, according to Billboard, the fact that they aren’t new releases disqualifies them. No matter; we already know well enough who the King really is, thankee. It is assuredly NOT pathetic national joke Howard Stern, however girlishly and vehemently he may whinge otherwise.

In sum, even 48 years after his tragic demise*** the Big E’s spectral presence still looms large over the music biz, an incorporeal inspiration and influence that doesn’t look like going away anytime soon.

Elvis, you may be gone but you will NEVER be forgotten, bless your beautiful soul. We love you, and will always miss you.

* Amusingly enough, I remember meeting Price after one of those aforementioned Tramps shows supporting Little Richard

** A hateful, thankless job if ever there was one; go ahead, ask me how I know, I DARES ya!

*** No, Elvis did NOT “die on the toilet,” as has been gleefully and erroneously claimed for decades by his detractors. Elvis’s master bedroom and en suite bathroom had a modest-sized but plush lounge area separating them, just spacious enough to accommodate a chaise longue and a comfy, well-cushioned La-Z-Boy recliner/rocker. Elvis thought of his lounge as a place of refuge, his own private hideaway in which he could shuck his ELVIS PRESLEY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! persona and go back to being Gladys and Vernon Presley’s only kid—just 19 years of age, a part-time delivery man for Crown Electric Company of Memphis, paid a whopping one (1) dollar per hour—for a spell.

In his lounge, things were quite different: Elvis could laze about in his PJs, his tall, thick, heavily-pomaded, spectacular pompadour disheveled, a-tangle, and uncombed. Unlike World Famous Elvis, Private Lounge Elvis didn’t need to impress anybody; in that place late in the night, he didn’t owe a single soul a single goddamned thing. There was no fear of failure; no grinding pressure to capture and hold an audience; no nervousness, no jittery, unsettled stomach, no stage fright; no expectations whatsoever for him to live up to. In his lounge, Elvis could simply relax, read, and enjoy a refreshing interlude of uninterrupted peace, quiet, and solitude which would belong to him and him alone.

Until that fateful night when his young girlfriend Ginger Alden discovered him crumpled unconscious and non-responsive on the carpeted floor of the lounge—NOT on, in front of, or next to the toilet. Elvis actually passed away in the ambulance on the way to Memphis General Hospital

Update! My mention of Dave Bartholomew way up yonder brought to mind another NOLA R&B icon: Smiley Lewis, who will always be twinned with Bartholomew in my addled, befogged brain for some unknown reason. Between them, those two cats wrote more unforgettable music than you can shake a stick at—music which constitutes the bedrock, the very foundation-stones, of rock & roll both back in Lewis’ and Bartholomew’s day and as we in the modern era know it as well. Like yet another bona-fide legend from a previous musical era, Willie Dixon, Bartholomew and Lewis are simply all over classic R&B/RaB/rock & roll; everyplace you look you’re gonna see those rascals peeping back atcha.

I dunno, maybe I can hardly think of one without thinking immediately of the other because I spent so dang many years playing so dang many of their songs with the BPs. And HEY PRESTO! Just like that, I’m reminded of another legend: Big Al Downing, who we’ve discussed before in these h’yar parts.

Now THAT’S the stuff! Had to’ve played that song about a blue million times with the Playboys, and it was a stone gas each and every time we did. It never yet got old, and it ain’t ever gonna.

Updated update! Every picture tells a story, don’t it?

From August 1977: Thousands of grief-stricken Elvis fans outside Graceland right before the gates were opened to admit them, allowing them to mourn their lost idol in the grounds of his longtime home. From what I’ve read, the feeling of the Presley family was that if the fans were comforted by being invited inside the gates of Graceland and off the streets and sidewalks, then it was worth whatever damage to the carefully-manicured lawn the teeming throng might do along the way.

After all, trampled, torn-up grass, disfigured shrubbery, and mauled flower beds can always be made whole again with some hard work. But a heart shattered by sudden, unexpected bereavement? Ehhh, not so much.

Update to the updated update! Been idly mulling over this self-generated Bartholomew/Lewis mental pairing of mine, when something struck me as kinda weird about it. I mean, it’s mainly just the BarthoLew entity, even though there are a shitload of other two-man combinations which could, perhaps even should, have the same affect on me, but don’t. For example, whenever somebody mention Dave Edmunds, Nick Lowe doesn’t necessarily come waltzing along into my head close behind. Same-same for, oh, say, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons; David Bowie and Iggy Pop; Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey; Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell.

On the flipside, though: Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs? Homer and Jethro? Jan and Dean? Crosby and Hope? Sam and Dave?

Begging your pardon, kind sirs, but don’t you even think of throwing Simon and Garfunkle at me at this juncture. I’ve spent a considerable chunk of my life trying my level best NOT to think of Art Shinola and his boozum chum Paul Gobblefuckndinkle, and after lo, these many years I’ve become quite good at it, believe you me. You chuck those two shit-slurping doofii at my head, thereby distracting me from the task at hand, disrupting my concentration, and upending my groove so ruinously I can’t get my head back on straight, my heart back in the game, my attention refocused and re-aimed correctly, my thoughts realigned and retuned so that they’ll flow freely, unhindered and unobstructed in the way a mighty river does.

I tremble and quake with fear at the painfully slow dawning of a dreadful realization: I may not ever be able to do these most needful of things again. In which event I hereby solemnly swear that I will neither rest nor remit nor recede nor relent until the blaggard who forcibly reacquainted me with those two dickless purveyors of emasculated, stupefyingly flavorless Wimp Rock gruel have been dealt with to my own satisfaction: ie cruelly, harshly, and above all fully.

Lastly but not leastly, what price Loretta and Doolittle Lynn (to purloin a typically-exquisite Wodehouse phrase)? Where do THEY fit into this gi-normous 50,000-piece jigsaw puzzle? DO they fit into it, even…?

Okay, okay, let’s forget I brought the whole thing up. From now on, we’ll just pretend it never happened.

Farewell to Dave Edmunds

Not gone quite yet, but on the way out.

Rock musician Dave Edmunds, 81, hospitalized and fighting for life after ‘major cardiac arrest’
Rocker Dave Edmunds, best known for his 1970 hit “I Hear You Knocking,” is hospitalized and fighting for his life after suffering a “major cardiac arrest.”

The popular Welsh musician’s wife, Cici Edmunds, shared the shocking news in a lengthy Facebook post on July 29.

“My beloved husband of 40 years has had a major cardiac arrest,” she began. “He died in my arms while I desperately tried to keep him alive.”

Edmunds, 81, was ultimately revived after his wife and a nurse administered “heavy CPR.”

“I’m still in shock, and I believe I have PTSD from the horrific experience,” his wife continued. “He very clearly has brain damage and severe memory loss.”

Brian Setzer, Edmunds’ close friend and former producer, claimed Edmunds officially retired from music and performing in July 2017.

“It’s with a bittersweet announcement that my good friend and guitar legend Dave Edmunds is retiring after tomorrow night’s show,” Setzer wrote on Facebook at the time.

Actually, I believe the Post got that wrong. Far as I know, Setzer never produced Edmunds, it was Edmunds who produced Setzer—the Stray Cats, more precisely. Edmunds was the man who “discovered” the Stray Cats back during their career-making sojourn in London, producing the material that would be culled from their two UK LPs to become their first US release, Built For Speed

I’ve run my favorite Dave Edmunds song here before, I believe, although this version isn’t the same as the one I posted back then.

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A thoughtful, heartfelt, tasteful, thoroughly moving tribute, near-perfectly put together by an unexpected source

Vince McMahon, we hardly knew ye. Congrats, salutations, and humblest thanks for this beautiful commemoration, to everyone involved with its creation.

Triple H, WWE deliver emotional Hulk Hogan tribute at SmackDown
Hulk Hogan’s tribute to open WWE SmackDown on Friday night was nothing short of a tear-jerker.

The event in Cleveland was opened with loud applause and the crowd chanting “Hogan” in unison to honor the late wrestler who died at 71 years old on Thursday.

Fellow wrestler Triple H led the tribute for Hogan.

And with that, let’s go to the vid.


Dammit, I don’t know who the blue blazes that guy might be that’s standing front and center and delivering the speech, but I know for sure and certain he can’t possibly be HHH. Man, no friggin’ way. Whoever that imposter really is, he’s much, MUCH too old to actually be the HHH I remember.

“Hulkamania is DEAD!!!”

Took a while, but Randy “Macho Man” Savage was proved right in the end.

I saw this pre-match rant back when it first ran in the run-up to Wrestlemania V, and always felt the spittle flooding down his chin was truly an Oscar-worthy touch. Macho Man, of course, departed this vale of tears long ago. Now, the Hulkster has joined Savage in the Choir Invisible. God bless ‘em both. More on Hulk Hogan’s passing.

Before Hogan came on the scene, professional wrestling was a niche form of entertainment. Often low-budget and rough around the edges, the pro wrestling of ages past wasn’t the slick product that it is today. Hogan (born Terry Gene Bollea in Augusta, Ga.) helped usher in the modern era of pro wrestling.

I like the way TMZ explains Hogan’s appeal: “Hulk transformed professional wrestling into a family entertainment sport. Before Hulk, wrestling catered to a fairly narrow audience. Hulk’s theatrics in the ring was [sic] magnetic for children and their parents, and it supercharged the sport.”

Hogan’s candy-colored wardrobe, boundless enthusiasm, and “real American” persona appealed to kids and adults, and he was an easy hero to follow and emulate. My brother had a foot-tall Hulk Hogan action figure that’s at my house today for some reason. He said he would pick it up on his way home from work for his shrine.

Hogan’s villainous turn in 1996 broke plenty of hearts, but it added to the Hogan legend. World Wrestling Entertainment inducted him into its hall of fame in 2005, but after the cretinous gossip site Gawker leaked allegedly racist comments he made, WWE rescinded his induction in 2015. Hogan successfully sued Gawker, and WWE re-inducted him in 2020 as part of NWO, the collection of wrestlers he hung with under his villain persona.

The Hulkster had a successful career in movies and television as well, but his appearance at the 2024 Republican National Convention may have been one of his most memorable moments of his later years. He exulted Donald Trump both in character as Hulk Hogan and out of character as Terry Bollea.

Speaking of, no way am I gonna let the Hulkster’s powerhouse RNC star turn go unmentioned here. Not on this day, of all days.

Fucking beautiful, and dead on the money, every word of it. Fare thee well, Hulkster, and well done.

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