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Too old to rock and roll

Bruce/Ellen/Tilda, we hardly knew ye.

Bruce Springsteen returns to stage looking unrecognizable — and a little bit like Tilda Swinton
“Bruceeeeee!” — or Ellen DeGeneres?

Bruce Springsteen showed up to his first show in months looking unrecognizable — and a little bit like Tilda Swinton.

Dressed in a half-buttoned red flannel and dark jeans, the “Born to Run” musician, 74, returned to touring in Phoenix, Ariz., on Tuesday, after postponing shows due to his peptic ulcer disease.

Springsteen’s once-toned and tanned upper body appeared paler than usual, and he rocked stark white hair and a rather pallid complexion.

The pics are nothing short of chilling. In fact, in this one, he looks more than just a little bit like a certain ***”pRetend pResident”*** pinhead I could name, but won’t right now.

What can one say, really, but…YIKES!!!

Springsteen’s worldwide tour has been fraught with various medical complications since it was announced in May 2022.

In March, while touring in Albany, the New Jersey native was forced to postpone two of his shows after releasing a statement that said that the cancellation had been caused “due to illness.”

The following month, both Springsteen and his wife, Patti Scialfa — who was noticeably absent from Tuesday’s show — contracted COVID-19 and were forced to put a pause on performances.

Ferchrissakes, put a sock in it and go the fuck home, old man. I’m sure the servants at your palatial Nu Joisey mansion will have a nice pudding cup, a glass of warm milk, and a fresh Depends “adult undergarment” waiting for ya.

5

5 thoughts on “Too old to rock and roll

  1. Pretty sure they’re hiring Robert Patrick for the biopic.

    I’m betting Springsteen’s guitar guy has assistants who handle maintenance on Bruce’s walker and Hoveround, and another couple of roadies to handle Depends™ changes between sets, pit-stop style. The tour bus has a wheelchair lift.

    Does his set list include “Born To Walk” and “Fallin’ In The Dark”?

  2. Seeing that reminds me of what Grace Slick said on a documentary I watched some years ago. It was after she left the scene.

    She said leave it, she didn’t want to see old geezers up on stage.

  3. Hey little girl is your daddy home?

    Did he go and leave you all alone?

    I got a bad desire.  ooh ooh ooh pedophile.

     

    Tell me now baby is he good to you

    Does he do the same things I want to?

    I can take you higher.  ooh ooh ooh pedophile

     

    At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet

    and a freight train running through the middle of my head

    and weep, to cool my desire

    ooh ooh ooh pedophile

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