FBI rally disappoints

A report on this weekend’s sparsely-attended GlowniggerPalooza 2021 from the sole remaining media outfit you can trust now.

FBI Rally In D.C. Ends Without Incident
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Federal Bureau of Investigation is disappointed by the low attendance at the D.C. rally they organized for Trump supporters today.

In spite of the FBI’s best efforts to lure a bunch of angry MAGA insurrectionists to the Capitol this weekend, only a few hundred FBI agents dressed as MAGA insurrectionists showed up.

“Ivermectin! Get your hot, fresh Ivermectin HEEEERRRRE!” cried one agent selling bootleg Ivermectin tablets from Tractor Supply Company. Unfortunately, he only made a couple of sales to a few other FBI agents from other field offices he didn’t recognize.

“Greetings, fellow Trump supporters,” said another agent. “Let’s go insurrect the government, shall we, fellas? Maybe kidnap Gretchen Whitmer? Whadaya say boys? Say—I sure do love racism!” He was then immediately tackled by three other FBI agents who dragged him to an unmarked van.

Another field agent passed out flyers for a “Super Secret Satanic Pedophile Meeting”, but was sad to find there were no takers, except one lady named Hillaria Clintonania.

Aww, too bad. Better luck next time, Fibbies…oops, ‘scuse me, “patriots.”

Lonely Boiz update! Since so few of us showed up for them to play with this time ’round, all they had left was to play with themselves.

Confirmed: Armed Man Arrested at J6 Rally is Federal Officer – US Attorney’s Office in DC Will Not Prosecute

No, of course they won’t.

A federal law enforcement officer was arrested carrying a gun at Saturday’s rally at the U.S. Capitol billed to support the suspects charged in January’s insurrection but will not be prosecuted.

The 27-year-old New Jersey man is an officer with U.S. Customs and Border Protection. He was arrested by Capitol Police for illegally possessing a gun on the grounds of the Capitol after people in the crowd reported seeing him with a handgun and notified nearby officers.

Generally, under federal law, law enforcement officers are given reciprocity to legally carry their weapons in other states, even those with restrictive gun laws. But the law has an exemption for government property or military bases where it is illegal to carry a gun, like the U.S. Capitol.

A spokesman for the U.S. attorney’s office in Washington said prosecutors were “not moving forward with charges” but did not provide additional information about the decision.

Two law enforcement officials said the officer was not at the rally in any official capacity.

Trust us on that. No, really, you guys!

Bottom line: As the US has now inarguably completed the transition from the Dysfunctional Republic category into straight-up Illegitimate Tyranny status, Patriots should consider showing up at only one final rally, protest, or mass gathering of any kind held in or near Mordor On The Potomac, capital city of the Occupation Government. And that last time, all attendees of said rally, protest, whatever, should NOT forget to bring the guns along. Until that day arrives, there is no longer a single, solitary reason for any Real American to risk showing his face anywhere near the God-forsaken place…and one helluva lot of excellent reasons NOT to.

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kennycan

I don’t know how Satire sites survive anymore.

Whatever they Satirize becomes News a week or so later.

Self Referential Satire of the Unclean Minds. That is our “Elite”.

Barry

Ain’t it the truth. Today’s satire is tomorrows reality, maybe this afternoons.

Ironbear

There’s a reason why I call The Babylon Bee “Tomorrow’s Headlines, Today!”

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