TRAGEDY!

What little is left of my heart is not quite breaking for them.

With Statues Gone, Pigeons Forced To Poop On Rioters
U.S.—With more and more statues across the country being pulled down, pigeons are being forced to redirect their payloads to different targets.

As soon as statues are pulled down, the pigeons turn toward the nearest available target: angry rioters.

“Yes! Down with racism–AHHHHH!!!!” screamed one rioter just after pulling down a statue of Christopher Columbus. The pigeons immediately turned on him, with a squadron of the birds divebombing him to unload hundreds of pounds worth of excrement. “Run!!!”

Rioters frantically tried to put the statues back up as they were attacked by the feral flocks. “Put Christopher back! Quick!” cried one Antifa group as they were swarmed by a whole fleet of pigeon bombers. But try as they might, their weak liberal arms could not lift the statue and they were forced to flee the scene.

Those unintended consequences remain the bane of liberals everywhere.

8 thoughts on “TRAGEDY!

  1. LOL.

    Pigeon shit is nasty stuff. 3rd world countries in warm regions have factories that are open to the elements. They have a roof and walls but doors are often just a missing wall section. Pigeons fly in and unload on us poor folks standing below…

    And then there are the Cobra’s slithering through. Watching a group of Indians trying to coax a cobra out of the factory is quite amusing.

    1. We have a steady supply of visitors in our garage: chipmunks, field rats, birds. Grandma raises one of the overhead doors to go out and work in her garden, rather than walk out the normal door which is right next to the door into the house, and leaves it open all day. My wife does the same, and also keeps leaving the overhead door open when she drives somewhere. I’ll close it when I notice, but it’s an unending and usually losing battle. Anyway, thanks to the easy ingress and the various fresh vegetables often left in the garage, quite a few critters are drawn in.

      1. Heh, I know the feeling. When the cat started pissing the hall floor instead of the litter box the cat went out. I would leave the garage door open about 6 inches for the cat to come in in the winter to sleep on top of the water heater. We had various pests enter over the years from possums to racoons.

        Cats long gone and I’m not a cat type so we will not have that problem again. I’m just trying to figure out the best place to hang my garage door noose pull.

        1. I’m just trying to figure out the best place to hang my garage door noose pull.

          Get a doll of some sort and put the door pull around the doll’s neck. If you’re going for gratuitously offensive, be gratuitously offensive.

        2. My wife and I are dog people. My wife is also from Hong Kong, so much less prone to avoid normal doors.

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