The only way to tell for sure these days is to double-check the URL of the post.
Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democratic presumptive presidential nominee Joe Biden was cleared in federal court today of charges that some claimed were based upon credible allegations of sexual assault when the judge quickly realized that Joe Biden was not a Republican.
“Well, this looks pretty serious… let’s see who is on—wait a minute. He’s a Democrat! I can find no fault with him,” declared a fourth circuit federal judge hearing preliminary claims.
“It is well established in this court that Republicans are the ones who want to silence women and control their bodies. Haven’t you seen The Handmaid’s Tale?” the judge further added before banging down the gavel.
The bailiff immediately grabbed the female accuser by the collar and threw her up into the air out onto the sidewalk, just like in the cartoons.
No definitive word from the Bee on whether Boots Randolph’s “Yakety Sax” was playing at the time.
Update! To their enormous credit, Hollywood stars are standing tall to prove the consistency of their #MeToo, #BelieveAllThe Wymrynz beliefs when it comes to Senile Uncle Fingerbang.
Emily Ratajkowski: “Men who hurt women can no longer be placed in positions of power.”
Amy Shumer: “We will win. A vote for Biden is a vote saying ‘Women don’t matter.’ Let’s stay together. Let’s fight. Let’s keep showing up.”
Ellen DeGenerate: “This tweet is for Ms Reade. You put yourself through so much and I want you to know it wasn’t in vain. You started a movement and we’ll see it through. If they won’t listen to our voices, then they’ll listen to our vote,” she tweeted.
Jim Carrey: “Real American heroism. Ms Reade risked everything to tell the truth about this privileged Biden goon. Avenge her in November.”
There’s lots more, as unexpected as they are welcome, demonstrating once and for all that…uhhh…that…
WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!! Hold on there, gang. My apologies, but I seem to have inadvertently subsituted the names “Biden” and “Ms Reade” for “Kavanaugh” and “Christine Ballsey-Fraud.” Sorry, I really don’t know how that might have happened.
(Via Stephen Green)