GIVE TIL IT HURTS

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Yet another imbecilic hoplophobe heard from

Again via Divemedic.


Oh, just this, shitheel: I would destroy your precious little camera by any means required—including but not limited to slingshots, crowbars, and/or ball-peen hammers—then, when/if you show up to replace it, we’re gonna find out how quickly you can learn to trip the light fantastic whilst dodging mucho-mucho Freedom Pills™ tossed at high velocity in your general direction—a course of instruction provided entirely free of charge to you, courtesy of the Hornady Critical Defense School of Dance and Proper Deportment.

Then, the third time you show up—also, should you prove so foolhardy as to actually do so, the LAST time—I adjust fire, stop shooting AROUND you, and instead shoot directly AT you, INTO you, and THROUGH you. Whereupon, your mouldering carcass will be:

  • Chopped into more manageable-sized sections;
  • Bagged securely, with neither ceremony nor undue fuss;
  • Strewn randomly about obscure, heavily-forested locations across four (4) neighboring states, rife with savage fauna which will be only too happy to complete the job of waste disposal for me

And voila! Problem fucking solved, far as I’m concerned.

I keep telling you idjit gun-grabbers: stop talking and just COME AND TAKE THEM already. Enough of this farting and fumblefucking around; put up (and get shot up), or shut up. Think 2A people ain’t serious about that? Best think again, Poindexter; fuck around, and I assure you you’re gonna find out.

Millions upon millions of Real Americans out there are practically writhing away on tenterhooks, just wishing and hoping and praying you’ll try it. Having myself interacted twice annually, for several years running, at the good old Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot with the best part of around 7-8000 of such men (and women, and even children), I can swear most solemnly that they will wade into you with a smile on their faces and a song in their hearts. That being so, and it is, well…

LET’S DO THIS THING!

Errata mea culpa update! Dammit, this blatantly threatening little screed was supposed to be tonight’s Eyrie post! Alas, to my sudden chagrin I went and assigned categories as per usual with any other CF post, after which I just hit the “Send to Blog” MarsEdit button instead of the “Save as Draft” one, essentially on autopilot at that point, with the results you now see before your weary, bloodshot orbs.

Not to worry though; currently, I have around 12 to 16 open browser tabs’ worth of prospective blogfodder awaiting my scrupulous attention, any one of which ought to do to get me off and running. Because of my bonehead mistake the Eyrie might be a little late, but fret not, it’s a-comin’.

3 thoughts on “Yet another imbecilic hoplophobe heard from

  1. Turns out “the Agorist” is just your regular run of the mill communist.

    Funny how that works.

    Oh, and Sal, I know your just full of shit and are too frightened to take on an actual man, but please do try.

    We’re waiting for you.

  2. Say that there’s a sidewalk, and he stays on the sidewalk with his tripod for more than, say, 15 minutes. Then it’s blocking the sidewalk. Add in disturbing the peace. If he steps on to your property, it’s criminal trespass. He’s advertised his intent to harass and intimidate you into parting with valuable property, so that’s harassment and intimidation, as well, and his putting it on the internet is probably covered under cybercrime and anti-stalking statutes. And that’s just the criminal aspect, he could get sued in civil court as well, for equitable remedies, such as injunctive relief, and legal – cash – damages.

    1. I figured there had to be something illegal about what he was proposing to do.

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