GIVE TIL IT HURTS

The continued existence of this site depends entirely on contributions from its readers. If you're able to, please consider donating or subscribing to CF. Thanks!


  

THANKS!

Bud transitioning

The obvious next step.

Budweiser Replaces Clydesdales With Cows Dressed As Horses
ST. LOUIS, MO — In a natural continuation of its push for diversity and celebration of transgender lifestyles, Anheuser-Busch has announced the company will be replacing the iconic Budweiser Clydesdales with cows that identify as and dress like horses.

“We feel this is a natural next step,” said Anheuser-Busch CEO Brandan Whitworth. “If we’re going to bend reality and ignore all basic understanding of science and biology with our Bud Light brand, then it only makes sense to make that philosophy consistent across our other brands, including the classic Budweiser advertising campaigns.”

The beverage giant scoured the nation in search of dairy cows that live their lives as horses. “I was very excited to receive a phone call from the Budweiser marketing folks,” said dairy farmer Ed Herman. “I just can’t get this group of cows to produce any milk because they insist on pretending to be horses. I was ready to put down the whole lot of ‘em, but now they can actually make me some money with this ad campaign.”

Budweiser marketing executives have mapped out an extensive campaign that will culminate in an emotionally stirring commercial during next year’s Super Bowl broadcast. “We really want to tug on everyone’s heartstrings,” said the company’s marketing spokesperson Katie MacDonell. “We’re absolutely certain that everyone in the country will be excited to follow the journey these proud horses embark on to discover their true inner species.”

After staring closely at the attached picture, I must admit I’m convinced.

Update! Transheuser-Busch tries to win back their traditional customer base, earning only mockery and derision for the patronizing, insultingly schmaltzy effort.

Anheuser-Busch has been devastated financially due to the company’s partnership with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney.

The company has lost over $7 billion in market value since they decided to shove Mulvaney in America’s face. Merchandisers have also revealed no one is buying Anheuser-Busch products.

Desperate to win back former customers, Budweiser decided to bring back the beloved Clydesdales in a new ad on Friday.

The ad opens with a Clydesdale galloping across a field of grain and then a town street. The horse next passes a fire department, a flag raising ceremony, and a beach.

The commercial concludes with the Clydesdale standing on its hind legs on top of a hill.

Couples and friends are seen throughout the ad along with national monuments such as the Lincoln Memorial.

Ad transcript:

Let me tell you a story about a beer rooted in the heart of America, found in a community where a handshake is a sure contract, brewed for those who found opportunity and challenge and hope in tomorrow, raised by generations willing to sit, share, risk, remember.

This is a story bigger than beer. This is the story of the American spirit.

If Budweiser thought former customers would forgive and forget, they were sorely mistaken. The former fans instead had an absolute field day over the commercial.

Follows, a collection of hilariously scornful Tweets from disgusted ex-Butt Light drinkers, my favorite of which would have to be this one:

Heh. Pinky Pie*, a “transgender”? Who the hell knew?

*NOTE: My ID of the above My Little Pony character might very possibly be in error; my daughter’s agonizing-but-inevitable phase of Pony-love was mercifully brief enough so that I hadn’t time to learn any but a very few of their names.

2
1

4 thoughts on “Bud transitioning

    1. Never forget Crocodile Dundee’s first experience with a faggot in the first movie!

  1. Too late, no red blooded true American MEN OR WOMEN are going to be popping a bud

Comments are closed.

Latest Posts

Latest Comments

CF Archives

Categories

Comments policy

NOTE: In order to comment, you must be registered and approved as a CF user. Since so many user-registrations are attempted by spam-bots for their own nefarious purposes, YOUR REGISTRATION MAY BE ERRONEOUSLY DENIED.

If you are in fact a legit hooman bean desirous of registering yourself a CF user name so as to be able to comment only to find yourself caught up as collateral damage in one of my irregularly (un)scheduled sweeps for hinky registration attempts, please shoot me a kite at the email addy over in the right sidebar and let me know so’s I can get ya fixed up manually.

ALSO NOTE: You MUST use a valid, legit email address in order to successfully register, the new anti-spam software I installed last night requires it. My thanks to Barry for all his help sorting this mess out last night.

Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit.

Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) and...you won't.

Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar.

Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

Ye Aulde CF Blogrolle–now with RSS feeds! (where available)

"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

Subscribe to CF!

Support options

Shameless begging

If you enjoy the site, please consider donating:

Become a CF member!

Correspondence

Email addy: mike-at-this-url dot etc
All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless specified as private by the sender

Allied territory

Alternatives to shitlib social media: A few people worth following on Gab:

Fuck you

Kill one for mommy today! Click to embiggen

Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Claire's Cabal—The Freedom Forums

FREEDOM!!!

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
Daniel Webster

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill.”
Charles Bukowski

“A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
Ezra Pound

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.”
John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves."
Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged."
GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free."
Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."
Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
Bill Whittle

Best of the best

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

RSS feed

RSS - entries - Entries
RSS - entries - Comments

Boycott the New York Times -- Read the Real News at Larwyn's Linx

Copyright © 2024